Diamonds are Bullsh*t

[Mr.Macinstache]

What a great little article:

http://blog.priceonomics.com/post/45768546804/diamonds-are-bullshit

The next time you look at a diamond, consider this. Nearly every American marriage begins with a diamond because a bunch of rich white men in the 1940s convinced everyone that its size determines your self worth. They created this convention - that unless a man purchases (an intrinsically useless) diamond, his life is a failure - while sitting in a room, racking their brains on how to sell diamonds that no one wanted.

With this insight, they began marketing diamonds as a symbol of status and love

[Huffy2k]

Rich white men, the root of all evil...

~sigh~

[Mr.Macinstache]

Rich white men, the root of all evil...

~sigh~

I didn't really like that characterization either, but take out "rich" and "white" and everything is still accurate.

We've all been suckered and duped by these monopoly men and their mass marketing that plays on our emotions and shallow desires as a society. The good thing is we do have a choice not to buy into the game.

[tuyop]

We're eschewing the whole ring thing altogether. Neither of us need some sort of symbol of ownership on our hands all the time.

[superhero]

I've been looking for alternative gems to the diamond, but it seems you have to be careful with most of them since they can be damaged easily.

[Mr.Macinstache]

We're eschewing the whole ring thing altogether. Neither of us need some sort of symbol of ownership on our hands all the time.

Good for you. Wife and I are 9 yrs married with her little rock already otherwise I'd suggest it. The whole idea of a superficial item to show the world you love her is just shallow to me. I find that women generally need to this sort of thing though, for their own security and status in society.

I have a nice titanium ring, but I don't even wear it. I dislike any flashy jewelry or symbol that needs to be shown to the world that I'm married. We know it and that's all that matters.

[Herr Handlebar]

I've been looking for alternative gems to the diamond, but it seems you have to be careful with most of them since they can be damaged easily.

The frau and I got rings. Her gem is is silicon carbide (SiC), aka by the trade name Moissanite. We like it a great deal. It is sparkly, and durable and it was cheap. I have a wedding band that is one of those non-precious materials like tungsten, titanium or zirconium ceramic. My wedding band was $80.

[KMMK]

We went without an engagement ring for several reasons. What bothered me the most about the tradition is that it's implying that I (the woman) can be bought. Like, if the man doesn't buy an expensive enough ring, you should find another man who can. Who cares about snagging a rich man nowadays? Some people do still, I'm sure. But I'd rather one that's careful with his money, however much that is, and understands that I'm an equal partner and don't need any support in the area of finances.

The whole thing just gives me such a negative gut reaction. We did get some wedding rings, because I liked the idea of that. But it's not a big deal either way to me.

[kkbmustang]

We went without an engagement ring for several reasons. What bothered me the most about the tradition is that it's implying that I (the woman) can be bought. Like, if the man doesn't buy an expensive enough ring, you should find another man who can. Who cares about snagging a rich man nowadays? Some people do still, I'm sure. But I'd rather one that's careful with his money, however much that is, and understands that I'm an equal partner and don't need any support in the area of finances.

The whole thing just gives me such a negative gut reaction. We did get some wedding rings, because I liked the idea of that. But it's not a big deal either way to me.

The Hubs and I got engaged when we were mere babes (20 and 22, respectively). Anyway, we both got engagement rings because he didn't understand why only women had rings proclaiming their "taken" status. So, he wore a plain gold band and I wore my tiny little diamond engagement ring.

[dragoncar]

http://youtu.be/c82z_bxy60E

[Kriegsspiel]

Hahaha, I sat there for a while wondering if I should post that.... or that other awesome spoof ad.

[dragoncar]

I've been looking for alternative gems to the diamond, but it seems you have to be careful with most of them since they can be damaged easily.

Diamonds are also easily damaged

[Daleth]

I've been looking for alternative gems to the diamond, but it seems you have to be careful with most of them since they can be damaged easily.

Moissanite, sapphire and ruby are all almost as hard as diamonds. No durability issues there.

http://www.vaughns-1-pagers.com/science/gemstone-hardness.htm

I just noticed on that list that moonstone is a 6 on the scale (vs. 9 for ruby and sapphire, 9.5 for moissanite and 10 for diamond). I've worn a silver ring with a prominent moonstone on it almost daily for a decade now and it still looks fine.

[dragoncar]

I've been looking for alternative gems to the diamond, but it seems you have to be careful with most of them since they can be damaged easily.

Moissanite, sapphire and ruby are all almost as hard as diamonds. No durability issues there.

http://www.vaughns-1-pagers.com/science/gemstone-hardness.htm

I just noticed on that list that moonstone is a 6 on the scale (vs. 9 for ruby and sapphire, 9.5 for moissanite and 10 for diamond). I've worn a silver ring with a prominent moonstone on it almost daily for a decade now and it still looks fine.

Harder doesn't mean more durable.  A Reed bends in the wind, grasshopper.

[vern]

In addition to everything stated above, diamonds are worthless because they have been manufactured for decades.  (The Soviets were big on this.)

They just take coal and add heat and pressure in an industrial setting and "poof"...diamonds. 

[Khan]

In addition to everything stated above, diamonds are worthless because they have been manufactured for decades.  (The Soviets were big on this.)

They just take coal and add heat and pressure in an industrial setting and "poof"...diamonds.

Actually, gem quality man made diamonds is not a "decades" thing, it's more like a "decade" thing, singular, or even a years thing, as in the past few. Producing industrial diamond dust for grinders is a lot easier then producing a large single crystal lattice structure.

That said, **** diamonds. Other gems are more interesting, with colors and whatnot. Diamonds? Woop de freakin doo.

[EMP]

We're eschewing the whole ring thing altogether. Neither of us need some sort of symbol of ownership on our hands all the time.

Good for you. Wife and I are 9 yrs married with her little rock already otherwise I'd suggest it. The whole idea of a superficial item to show the world you love her is just shallow to me. I find that women generally need to this sort of thing though, for their own security and status in society.

My husband insisted on the diamond because he's much more conventional.

I guess diamonds are to women as sports cars are to men.

[Mr.Macinstache]

We're eschewing the whole ring thing altogether. Neither of us need some sort of symbol of ownership on our hands all the time.

Good for you. Wife and I are 9 yrs married with her little rock already otherwise I'd suggest it. The whole idea of a superficial item to show the world you love her is just shallow to me. I find that women generally need to this sort of thing though, for their own security and status in society.

My husband insisted on the diamond because he's much more conventional.

I guess diamonds are to women as sports cars are to men.

Compensation.

[MoneyCat]

We're eschewing the whole ring thing altogether. Neither of us need some sort of symbol of ownership on our hands all the time.

Good for you. Wife and I are 9 yrs married with her little rock already otherwise I'd suggest it. The whole idea of a superficial item to show the world you love her is just shallow to me. I find that women generally need to this sort of thing though, for their own security and status in society.

My husband insisted on the diamond because he's much more conventional.

I guess diamonds are to women as sports cars are to men.

My wife actually picked out a CZ when we were ring shopping, but I insisted on a diamond because I was concerned about what her family would think.  Looking back, that might have been a little silly, but at least I didn't get her a ridiculous diamond.

[fallstoclimb]

Diamonds are becoming much more unpopular, at least in some circles.  My friends are generally well-off and thoughtful spenders -- not quite MMMrs (to be honest i'm not either), but working hard to get on top of student loans and ahead in their careers.  I can only think of 1 or 2 who went with diamonds.  Most went with sapphires (myself included) and family heirlooms.

I don't even wear my engagement ring that much anymore.  Between riding horses and bikes, there's too much opportunity to mess it up. 

[eyePod]

I got my wife a pearl instead.  She specifically wanted one.  It's much nicer looking, the relative size is bigger (so people assume it's more expensive) than a similarly priced diamond, and it's much easier to replace.  We also got cheapo wedding bands from a kay jewelers that can be cleaned etc. for their lifetime, for free.  total was probably under 4k for all of them (ridiculous considering I'd just gotten my first real job and was only a few months in).  I'm most thankful for her not wanting a diamond though, as I'd been pushed further out!  No debt to get any of it, but didn't pay off my student loans as quickly as I'd hoped.

[Rural]

I won't wear 'em. The only exception I make is there are a couple of tiny ones "accenting" otherwise lovely sapphire earrings that belonged to my grandmother. I wear those and won't have the diamonds removed/replaced because she loved them.

My husband was traditional enough to want an engagement ring (I didn't), so he got me a garnet. I'd made it clear I wouldn't accept a diamond, though I'd still have married him. :-)

[AlmostIndependent]

I guess diamonds are to women as sports cars are to men.

Compensation.

Yes. This.

[Mr.Macinstache]

I guess diamonds are to women as sports cars are to men.

Compensation.

Yes. This.

And guys also compensate by buying a huge diamond for their wife too. Its humorous to me.

[AlmostIndependent]

I guess diamonds are to women as sports cars are to men.

Compensation.

Yes. This.

And guys also compensate by buying a huge diamond for their wife too. Its humorous to me.

The number of ways you could complete the sentence "And guys also comensate by..." is almost endless.

[golden1]

Yep, I agree diamonds are pretty dumb.  It is just carbon after all. 

The only diamonds I own were ones I inherited - diamond solitaire earrings and I don't wear them anywhere except on special occasions.  In fact I don't understand why people don't just pass down jewelry through generations instead of buying it new.   

[smedleyb]

Turns out, most of the shit rich white men try to sell us is bullshit.

[Mr.Macinstache]

Turns out, most of the shit rich white men try to sell us is bullshit.

Might as well blame the joooos while we are at it. No need get all racist up in here. We can just sum it up as marketing is bullshit.

[EMP]

I guess diamonds are to women as sports cars are to men.

Compensation.

Yes. This.

And guys also compensate by buying a huge diamond for their wife too. Its humorous to me.

The number of ways you could complete the sentence "And guys also comensate by..." is almost endless.

+1. I almost literally lol'd at work :D

+1 from me too.  Coffee nearly came out of my nose. 

[Albert]

Thank God we don't have this expensive habit. Traditionally both the husband and the wife wear a plain gold band (rarely take it off in fact).

[beltim]

Am I the only one who actually likes diamonds?  Or wedding bands? 

Personally, I had a ton of fun designing my wife's engagement ring and surprising her with it.  And I'm very fond of my wedding band, which we chose together.  My wife used her engagement ring as her wedding ring, since the design is such that it can't really be worn with another ring.  It has a diamond, and was objectively expensive, but I had plenty of savings to pay for it.

[Kriegsspiel]

Am I the only one who actually likes diamonds?  Or wedding bands? 

Here? Probably.

[Samsam]

Am I the only one who actually likes diamonds?  Or wedding bands? 

Personally, I had a ton of fun designing my wife's engagement ring and surprising her with it.  And I'm very fond of my wedding band, which we chose together.  My wife used her engagement ring as her wedding ring, since the design is such that it can't really be worn with another ring.  It has a diamond, and was objectively expensive, but I had plenty of savings to pay for it.

I'm with you! 

Do I plan on breaking the bank for an engagement ring...no, but that doesn't mean it can't be a diamond!

[Ipodius]

It's interesting - both my wife and I where pretty against the whole diamond idea - we wanted to go Cubic Zirconia. However, every well-made ring in the stores had a diamond in it. The cheapest custom made ring using a Cubic Zirconia would be more expensive than a similarly well made store bought ring with a diamond.

So our choices ended up being well made diamond ring from a store or poorly made Cubic Zirconia ring. I guess it's a reflection of market forces (everyone who can afford it buys a diamond ring, and even most people who can't afford it), and maybe jewellers trying to artificially raise the lowest price you end up being able to pay.

But yeah, the whole story is ridiculous. We kept the ring to less than one months salary, and could pay for it cash - many of my friends have spent 3 or 6 months salary, and bought it on a credit card!

[theSchmett]

Sapphires are where its at! Way more interesting than diamonds, for practical purposes just as durable, and I was happy to find they are far less expensive.

And for some reason, people told us it was a very old Boston thing to do. I have no idea what that means except its not breaking new ground, so not so outside the box as to be embarrassing to a woman with a more "traditional" view of engagement rings. I've met several people with them since buying mine as well.

I prefer sapphire but emerald and ruby might be more your lady's taste.

[Kriegsspiel]

I like the idea of rubies. Not many enemies are fire-immune, so rubies are probably a better choice than emeralds or sapphires (diamonds are obviously out of the question).  But really, if it's a single socket, you gotta go with a rune.

[simonsez]

Created poll called "Amount Spent on Wedding/Union-Specific Jewelry (diamonds, bands, etc.)"sorta related to this thread. It's under the Welcome and General Discussion banner.

[Dr.Vibrissae]

Yep, I agree diamonds are pretty dumb.  It is just carbon after all. 

I can agree that marketing a pricing may be dumb, but diamonds themselves are no dumber than any other stone.  I mean rubies and sapphires are just an aluminum oxide after all.

In fact I don't understand why people don't just pass down jewelry through generations instead of buying it new.

Not everyone has jewelry to hand down.  Even if I wanted rings from my family, they'd have to be remade, as I have much larger hands and couldn't wear any of my mother or grandfather's rings.

I'm not much for jewelry so the only thing the Mr. has bought me that I wear regularly are my rings.  I didn't really care what he picked out, because he did it with me in mind, it was a gift and I appreciate it for that.  I rarely remove them, and so far they've held up well to a lot of harsh wear.  I mean gold doesn't tarnish, and while not impossible, it's pretty difficult to damage a small diamond :)

[Mr.Macinstache]

I'm not affiliated with this guy, but his rings are a work of art... and I feel good supporting people like him. 8yrs ago I got my wife a tension ring from him. I also got a band for myself.. titanium holds up really well.
http://www.boonerings.com/stone.htm

[Frugalady10]

Our wedding rings are family heirlooms passed down from some of my ancestors. My engagement ring has 3 very tiny diamonds in it, was what we could afford at the time.
If I went back I wouldn't even get an engagement ring. I would spend the money of something else I like better. ( or invest it :) )

[dragoncar]

I'm not affiliated with this guy, but his rings are a work of art... and I feel good supporting people like him. 8yrs ago I got my wife a tension ring from him. I also got a band for myself.. titanium holds up really well.
http://www.boonerings.com/stone.htm

At first I thought that said "bone rings"... ew.

[Mr.Macinstache]

I'm not affiliated with this guy, but his rings are a work of art... and I feel good supporting people like him. 8yrs ago I got my wife a tension ring from him. I also got a band for myself.. titanium holds up really well.
http://www.boonerings.com/stone.htm

At first I thought that said "bone rings"... ew.

Better than boner rings. Ha!

[AlmostIndependent]

I'm not affiliated with this guy, but his rings are a work of art... and I feel good supporting people like him. 8yrs ago I got my wife a tension ring from him. I also got a band for myself.. titanium holds up really well.
http://www.boonerings.com/stone.htm

At first I thought that said "bone rings"... ew.

Better than boner rings. Ha!

I thought it. I wasn't going to say it.

[WageSlave]

I bought my wife (fiancee at the time) a diamond engagement ring.  Before MMM of course (at least I paid cash, didn't buy it on credit).  I did the whole "diamond education" thing that so many men go through, reading a book or two about how diamonds are rated, getting quotes and reports on different rocks from various vendors, etc.  The ring even came with a loupe so we could really see just how nice it is.

I knew my wife wouldn't care how much I spent or even if it was a real diamond.  I knew that implicitly from knowing her so well, and she said as much after I gave it to her.  Yet there was this unspoken sense of peer pressure when I bought it.  All my friends were getting their wives (fairly big) rocks.  She's never asked how much it cost; I know she doesn't care.

That said, it is beautiful.  When it's cleaned and polished (which is never, now that we have kids), and sunlight hits it, it sparkles wonderfully.  Granted, the pleasure we get out of seeing that isn't proportional to what it cost!  Still, I don't regret buying it.  It is extremely valuable to us, not in terms of money, but in terms of being symbolic of our marriage, and the accompanying sentimental value.  If it were lost, the money wouldn't bother me nearly as much as the fact that it's "the one" I gave to her.  In other words, I'd value it just as dearly if it were a cheapie I picked up a the dollar store.

She loves the ring, but what she loves more is the fact that I picked it out all by myself and totally surprised her with it.  And I have zero fashion sense, so the fact that I really stepped out of my comfort zone for this meant a lot to her.  The funny thing was, I had no idea what size ring she wore; so I just guessed, and was off so much that it actually fit my finger!  She didn't want to send away to have it re-sized at first because she wanted to wear it.  So for the first week or so, she had to use this clear plastic "tubing" on part of the ring to pad it up enough that it stayed on her finger.

[JahWontPaytheBills]

I like the idea of rubies. Not many enemies are fire-immune, so rubies are probably a better choice than emeralds or sapphires (diamonds are obviously out of the question).  But really, if it's a single socket, you gotta go with a rune.

[Peanut Butter]

We're eschewing the whole ring thing altogether. Neither of us need some sort of symbol of ownership on our hands all the time.

If you really want to break the ring-desire once and for all, GIS "finger degloving injury."

One look at that picture in my textbook in Paramedic school and all of my rings (none were valuable) went to the thrift store.

[dweebyhawkeyes]

When the time comes, I'm just gonna get a tattoo on my ring finger.

[lifejoy]

Peanut butter - I really wish I hadn't googled that!! :/

Dweebyhawkeyes - I'm glad someone finally mentioned tattoos! :)

[olivia]

I love diamonds because it's a beautiful little piece of rock that formed deep in the earth.  That said, I don't believe in paying through the nose for diamonds so I buy most of my jewelry second hand.  My wedding ring was new, however. Could my money have been better spent elsewhere?  Possibly, but every time I look at my wedding ring I get a warm fuzzy feeling inside so it's worth it to me.

Ditto all this.  I love jewelry in general, and I love my diamond engagement ring.  Really well cut diamonds are absolutely beautiful, and I love mine.  I gaze at it admiringly every day, as a matter of fact.  (Particularly if I'm somewhere with halogen lighting or diffused sunlight. That's the good diamond light!)

Some people don't want one, and that's a-okay.  If you don't value jewelry or diamonds, don't get them-it's simple really!

[JahWontPaytheBills]

When the time comes, I'm just gonna get a tattoo on my ring finger.

This is what my wife and I did when we returned from our honeymoon road-trip. $120 for the pair, and we couldn't be happier with them.