Deciding not to retire early?

[FIRE47]

I may catch some serious blowback for this but bear with me. The ramblings of a person on vacation who hurt his back on day 1 and is currently housebound, I also had a major death in my family.

I am 7 years out of school. I have always been somewhat frugal and enjoyed investing, however discovered FIRE/MMM/RE about 5 years ago and have been working diligently towards it ever since. I could pull of an ER Extreme at this point or a light FIRE in 2-3 years, a normal FIRE in 6-7 years. I have a spouse - we are 29 and have 1 newborn baby at home and plan on 1-2 more, spouse is 85% on board but likes work and spending a little more than I do such that the compromise was that I can retire whenever I want as long as it is what might be called FATFIRE but she will work as long as she wants (right now that number is 45-50). Yesterday as I was enjoying my first significant time off this year stuck in bed I had a bit of an epiphany.

On some level retiring very early is 10-15 years of watching your money and diverting a large portion of it for the future, and then (fingers crossed) another 50 years of watching your money and making sure there is enough for the future - well at some point the future runs out as we aren't here forever. I understand watching every penny and making choices between allocating resources is a fact of life for some people, but to me I'm starting to wonder whether this is all worth it if it is self imposed and doesn't have to be this way. We both work hard and are capable educated people, perhaps I don't need to impose the restrictions on us that I am as our finances are in good shape income and NW wise to say the least.

Another aspect of this comes from having a child now. I wanted for nothing in terms of sports, activities, experiences, clothing, toys my entire childhood. I feel like it is wrong of me to deny that to my own children while having enjoyed that myself. I am also weighing whether leaving them a larger legacy assuming they are deserving and capable of managing it is a worthy goal in it's own right compared to retiring earlier.

The last thing that has come as a recent discovery is that I need to be occupied 24/7 or I go stir crazy, I used to think I hated being busy but the truth is I guess that I don't, it is the time spent in labour that makes the free time most enjoyable. If I'm not volunteering 2-300 hours a year, or working in a demanding job, or on a side hustle I quickly become unhappy. I always have to be doing something productive on the house or yard, there always has to be purpose or some long-term aspect to it. I can never sit still or sit idle for more than half a day or I get bored.

[Metalcat]

Not really sure what your question is???

Of course you don't have to retire just because you can afford to. Do whatever you want. That is literally the whole point.

Neither DH or I have any plans to retire, not for financial reasons, but because we do really interesting work. As time goes on, some may be paid, some not, but that's no different than my work now.

Pete didn't stop working, you certainly don't have to.

[frugalecon]

Personally, I focus more on the FI than on the RE goal. I am in a situation now where my spouse and I are effectively FI, but it would require compromises along different dimensions to be RE. Accordingly, we both continue to work. But I now have the option not to, in case something happened to make it unbearable or otherwise difficult to go to work. Some days I feel like I am close! When your kid(s) are older, you may feel that the most important thing that you can give to them is the time that you spend with them, so that may change how you feel. By saving diligently now, you have put yourself in a position where you can act on that kind of change in your perspective. It is all about creating options.

[MrDelane]

Of course you don't have to retire just because you can afford to. Do whatever you want. That is literally the whole point.

No point in repeating it when someone else said it so clearly.

And congratulations on being in such a good financial place so early in life.
You now have something many people don't - options.

[PDXTabs]

The last thing that has come as a recent discovery is that I need to be occupied 24/7 or I go stir crazy, I used to think I hated being busy but the truth is I guess that I don't, it is the time spent in labour that makes the free time most enjoyable. If I'm not volunteering 2-300 hours a year, or working in a demanding job, or on a side hustle I quickly become unhappy. I always have to be doing something productive on the house or yard, there always has to be purpose or some long-term aspect to it. I can never sit still or sit idle for more than half a day or I get bored.

To each their own. I work 2000 hours+ per year to pull in my very handsome salary. I'm lucky in both global and US terms but look forward to only needing to work 2-300 hours per year to entertain myself. Myself personally thinks of all the amazing places you could show your children instead of working every minute of most days.

[oldtoyota]

In our 30s, we visited a financial adviser. DH said he'd work until 70. Guess what? He no longer wants to work in that job until 70.

So follow what you want to do while allowing room for a change of mind.

I think Pete's take was that "retiring" allowed freedom to try different activities and some of those may be lucrative. I can't speak to his life...but let's just say he was still at his software job. He may not have started this blog, which brings in $400K/year. My guess is he would not have made $400k in a software job. He's been able to extend a positive message and impact through this blog and through the money he donates.

[Maenad]

Just to correct a misconception - from what I've heard in various online fora, retirees don't usually obsessively watch their spending beyond the first year or two, if that.

[Buffaloski Boris]

FI doesn’t mean RE. While it’s an opinion  held by a minority here, some of us don’t see early retirement as all that attractive.  FI to me is all about having options. The freedom to walk away from a crappy job or relationship without undue concern about the financial implications. Yeah, vacations are fun. Being on vacation all the time doesn’t sound all that fulfilling to me.

[partgypsy]

Yes. I am a baby mustache and most likely will retire at 62, so I am not retiring early. I do want to keep working at, making myself financially more independent. Including saving money, living on less, being more resourceful, etc.

I hear you in that, you are only young once. I think life is a balancing act where it is good to haul ass so to speak while young to get in a better financial situation. But at some point to re-evaluate so you don't say miss the best years of your young kid's life because you are at work all the time, etc. I did work ft when both of my kids were young. But I did focus on spending quality time with them when I was not working.

[Zikoris]

First off, I don't think deciding not to retire early is necessarily a good or bad decision. I have two issues with your thinking though.

First, it sounds like your current system requires ongoing work, effort, struggle, restrictions, etc. Fine if you want to operate that way, but you're presenting it as some sort of intrinsic FIRE thing. It definitely is not. You can make it zero effort, 100% automated, zero thought or difficulty. If you're suffering in this, that's a choice you're making, and a choice many people don't make.

Second, is it really good for kids to "never want for anything"? Maybe that's not a positive? Maybe it makes them grow up to be weak and mentally flabby/non-resilient?

[tipster350]

You really don't need to impose restrictions you don't want to. It's all a balancing act, and individual to your own goals and desires. If delaying FI for a few years is worth giving your kid more activities and options now, then do it. Every choice has a price, in time and/or money.  Many have regrets for boxing themselves in to working longer than they would like- they didn't understand when they were younger that they would get tired/unhappy etc at a certain point. There are other cases of frugality taken to extremes causing eventual regrets.

[moof]

I too thought I would enjoy working into my 70’s.  Now in my 40’s I’d quit tomorrow if I could.  I still have about 5 years left before I can pull it off.  Stuff happens.

Being FI lets you not worry about a bad boss, insane corporate policy, long hours, shrinking cubicles, or a host of other factors that can suck the fun out of what may have been your dream job just a decade or two ago.  Options.

5 more years...  Just wish I had started down this path earlier in my career.

[BMP2CPM@gmail.com]

I’m 49 and my wife is 44 and we don’t have any plans to retire early. The one thing this place has taught me, is it’s about your nest egg above all else. The longer you do not touch your nest egg, the more financial security you have. 

If you get your nest egg to a good milestone, you can pick jobs based on commute and work life balance and not salary and benefits. You can take the slightly easier job for still good pay.

I took a job that many in my field would consider career suicide, but I am having fun with it and my stress level is low. Cover your expenses until you are 65 and your nest egg will be pretty awesome. As the nest egg grows, you can take some really easy jobs to cover expenses and still be in a very good place.

[Linea_Norway]

I too thought I would enjoy working into my 70’s.  Now in my 40’s I’d quit tomorrow if I could.  I still have about 5 years left before I can pull it off.  Stuff happens.

Being FI lets you not worry about a bad boss, insane corporate policy, long hours, shrinking cubicles, or a host of other factors that can suck the fun out of what may have been your dream job just a decade or two ago.  Options.

5 more years...  Just wish I had started down this path earlier in my career.

+ 1

And there is always the option to keep working, but a less than 5 days a week. Why not work a few days a week and have really long weekends. Pick up some hobby and enjoy your time off.

[Manchester]

If I were you I'd push for FI then worry about it all.  Once you're FI you can decide your next steps.

Once you're FI you have choices.  You don't need any more money at that point, so ignore the financial side to it.  If you could be doing literally anything in the world, you'd rather continue doing your job?  If you were retired you could invest more time into doing something more fullfilling than sitting at home?

[FIRE47]

Didn’t want to ghost everyone. Thanks for the responses. I absolutely am going to achieve FI and leave that as a goal - the fact that I have options as well as FU money even if I’m still 6-7 years out from my ultimate goal is already life changing, having room in the budget due to not being accustomed to spending every penny has helped immensely when allowing  my wife a year off with the baby. I guess what Im getting at is perhaps early onset OMY - you just enjoy the benefits in advance of working those extra years if you don’t see yourself pulling the plug quite as early as anticipated.