The Money Mustache Community
General Discussion => Welcome and General Discussion => Topic started by: SweetLife on August 03, 2017, 05:27:56 AM
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I received a message from another MMM'r on this site that creeped me out a bit so I have removed as many of my postings as I could. Odd how I had never considered any possible negative ramifications of being on this site!
In future I will edit my posts such that my location and position are not as easily discovered.
Poopies.
At least my experience has turned out positive! The MMR'r I received the message from does have English as a second language (bonus points for all the posters who mentioned this) AND ended up sending me a message chock FULL of information that will help me plan my retirement... I am sad I thought this MMM'rs message was creepy at first! Happy now that I have the full story.
BUT it is still a good idea to limit locational info - that is what I take out of the stories below
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Didn't happen to me, but I also felt creeper out at how much info I had on here... the internet can be scary!
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Care to elaborate? Creepy how?
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Unless you're posting place of work, hometown, address, etc etc...what is there to worry about?
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Unless you're posting place of work, hometown, address, etc etc...what is there to worry about?
It is possible for people to find out who you are if they know you in real life and you provide way less than that.
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I think that it's easy to get caught up in personal conversations with other members and forget that they are public. I've seen people post things that provide a great deal of info about where they work or live. It's not that people are posting their addresses, but multiple small thing over time can make it fairly easy to figure things out about people. Alternatively I've seen people post pictures of their home that can be used in a reverse image search. Over time a dedicated and creepy sleuth could find out quite a lot about a poster on here.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I think that as a woman I'm hyper vigilant about what information I put out there, because creepy]iness is a regular occurrence all over the internet (though I have never experienced it here).
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You can always just change your handle.
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Did you report it to the mods? Hope so.
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The personal message said that the person figured out in 8 seconds who I work for ... went on to say would look for financials and email me back with suggestions... they had posted only 11 times previously and I thought it was weird ... At the time I did what I thought would be the best "up front" course ... asked the person how the weather was in "their small province" which I got from going over a few of their posts ... and haven't heard from them again ... but saw the message again yesterday and it still freaks me out lol.... likely nothing but I will definitely be more circumspect in future as some of you know I have a family and want them protected at all costs. And have been watching too much news tv again at work (never good seeing all the killers/stalkers/ridiculous stories)
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Sometimes creepy is subjective. There was a guy in a different division my company who always used slightly smarmy phraseology, and I thought he was a total creep. Imagine my horror when I was transferred to that division and he became the other half of my sales team. I was this close to FIRE, so I reluctantly put up with it. He turned out to be a prince of a guy, who really made my life easier. What I eventually realized was that he is on the autism spectrum and occasionally just used really weird, stilted language. So, so glad I decided to give him a chance.
I am NOT saying not to run from a creep, but is it possible it was just awkward phrasing?
Definitely run it by a Moderator.
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I think that it's easy to get caught up in personal conversations with other members and forget that they are public. I've seen people post things that provide a great deal of info about where they work or live. It's not that people are posting their addresses, but multiple small thing over time can make it fairly easy to figure things out about people. Alternatively I've seen people post pictures of their home that can be used in a reverse image search. Over time a dedicated and creepy sleuth could find out quite a lot about a poster on here.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I think that as a woman I'm hyper vigilant about what information I put out there, because creepy]iness is a regular occurrence all over the internet (though I have never experienced it here).
Thank you... I try not to be paranoid lol... but its the second time I've had a PM that was overly friendly from posters I had never commented on or talked to ... I can see if there was a history of posting with someone it could be as a "wake up" message hey... you're giving out too much info! ... but from a complete stranger???!!! The first one wanted to meet up and was from a man... that one was really odd too but I just ignored it. I guess its because it was the second one I've got that it creeped me out more this time...
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Sometimes creepy is subjective. There was a guy in a different division my company who always used slightly smarmy phraseology, and I thought he was a total creep. Imagine my horror when I was transferred to that division and he became the other half of my sales team. I was this close to FIRE, so I reluctantly put up with it. He turned out to be a prince of a guy, who really made my life easier. What I eventually realized was that he is on the autism spectrum and occasionally just used really wierd, stilted language. So, so glad I decided to give him a chance.
I am NOT saying not to run from a creep, but is it possible it was just awkward phrasing?
Definitely run it by a Moderator.
It's possible English was his second language ... and possible awkward phrasing ... but I had never spoken or commented on anything by this person which is likely why it made me pause.
Really I just feel better putting it out there ... and now I will remember to be more careful on what I write.
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I think that it's easy to get caught up in personal conversations with other members and forget that they are public. I've seen people post things that provide a great deal of info about where they work or live. It's not that people are posting their addresses, but multiple small thing over time can make it fairly easy to figure things out about people. Alternatively I've seen people post pictures of their home that can be used in a reverse image search. Over time a dedicated and creepy sleuth could find out quite a lot about a poster on here.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I think that as a woman I'm hyper vigilant about what information I put out there, because creepy]iness is a regular occurrence all over the internet (though I have never experienced it here).
Thank you... I try not to be paranoid lol... but its the second time I've had a PM that was overly friendly from posters I had never commented on or talked to ... I can see if there was a history of posting with someone it could be as a "wake up" message hey... you're giving out too much info! ... but from a complete stranger???!!! The first one wanted to meet up and was from a man... that one was really odd too but I just ignored it. I guess its because it was the second one I've got that it creeped me out more this time...
I've let strangers know that I could easily figure out (or see) personal information based on their internet posts in the past (on other forums anyway, don't think I've seen/done that here). I thought I was doing them a favor as generally they didn't realize how easily they had made it to see such info. I never thought someone might find that creepy though.. as it's just a "watch out what you're sharing because there are creeps out there" kinda thing.
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Hey Sweet life I got a seriously creepy RL stalker from (I believe) this site because I put out too much personal info here. He lived close by and "found" me and the antics began. And are still somewhat ongoing although its been taken care of and I am in.the process of moving so less concerned now. But to avoid future (very unlikely) problems with someone else I deleted most of my former posts and started fresh with much less info. Contact a mod too.
In fact a mod contacted me (very impressive!!)... I really love this site and would hate to have to leave ... I have received such wonderful support and helpful information it would terrible to have to leave... though I may decide to just reinvent the wheel lol...
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I think that it's easy to get caught up in personal conversations with other members and forget that they are public. I've seen people post things that provide a great deal of info about where they work or live. It's not that people are posting their addresses, but multiple small thing over time can make it fairly easy to figure things out about people. Alternatively I've seen people post pictures of their home that can be used in a reverse image search. Over time a dedicated and creepy sleuth could find out quite a lot about a poster on here.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I think that as a woman I'm hyper vigilant about what information I put out there, because creepy]iness is a regular occurrence all over the internet (though I have never experienced it here).
Thank you... I try not to be paranoid lol... but its the second time I've had a PM that was overly friendly from posters I had never commented on or talked to ... I can see if there was a history of posting with someone it could be as a "wake up" message hey... you're giving out too much info! ... but from a complete stranger???!!! The first one wanted to meet up and was from a man... that one was really odd too but I just ignored it. I guess its because it was the second one I've got that it creeped me out more this time...
I've let strangers know that I could easily figure out (or see) personal information based on their internet posts in the past (on other forums anyway, don't think I've seen/done that here). I thought I was doing them a favor as generally they didn't realize how easily they had made it to see such info. I never thought someone might find that creepy though.. as it's just a "watch out what you're sharing because there are creeps out there" kinda thing.
I can see your point as well... but maybe had the poster said that I would have been more understanding ... sometimes I do forget that this is a public forum ... and there may be unbalanced people even on a site such as this... a good wake up for me ... I've always warned friends and family against posting too much info and here I am doing the same thing lol.... It's funny to realize when I was single I didn't worry as much, now I have a family to watch out for too ...
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It also makes me uncomfortable these days too as it is the first time I have a positive net worth and no debt ... what a weird feeling.
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"Hey baby, I want to see your glide path." --- MMM creep
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Yikes, that's alarming actually. I hope it was actually harmless, but it's a good reminder to be careful about what we post. Of course I'm the idiot who has my location in my user name because I couldn't think of anything creative...I wonder sometimes when things like this come up if I should change it to something different entirely, and then my laziness gets the better of me.
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"Hey baby, I want to see your glide path." --- MMM creep
Thank you Investopedia for helping me out with this
What is the 'Glide Path'
The glide path refers to a formula that defines the asset allocation mix of a target date fund, based on the number of years to the target date. The glide path creates an asset allocation that becomes more conservative (i.e., includes more fixed-income assets and fewer equities) the closer a fund gets to the target date.
BREAKING DOWN 'Glide Path'
Target date funds have become very popular among those who are saving for retirement. They are based on the simple premise that the younger the investor, the longer the time horizon he or she has and the greater the risk he or she can take to potentially increase returns. A young investor's portfolio, for example, should contain mostly equities. In contrast, an older investor would hold a more conservative portfolio, with fewer equities and more fixed-income investments.
Each family of target date funds will have a different glide path, which determines how the asset mix changes as the target date approaches. Some have a very steep trajectory, becoming dramatically more conservative just a few years before the target date. Others will take a more gradual approach.
The asset mix at the target date can be quite different as well. Some target date funds assume that the investor will want a high degree of safety and liquidity, because he or she might use the funds to purchase an annuity. Other target date funds assume that the investor will hold onto the funds, and will therefore include more equities in the asset mix, reflecting a longer time horizon.
Ha ha ha ... Oh I love having to look stuff up and learn new terms lol!!! ;)
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Yikes, that's alarming actually. I hope it was actually harmless, but it's a good reminder to be careful about what we post. Of course I'm the idiot who has my location in my user name because I couldn't think of anything creative...I wonder sometimes when things like this come up if I should change it to something different entirely, and then my laziness gets the better of me.
Lol... I purposely didn't use my normal user name because it give me away entirely lol...
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Hey Sweet life I got a seriously creepy RL stalker from (I believe) this site because I put out too much personal info here. He lived close by and "found" me and the antics began. And are still somewhat ongoing
Yes, that is indeed very creepy. I've never had anything like that happen nor received any feedback from anyone that they've ever identified me via what I have posted, even on a local news forum.
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Lol. Note to self. If you are overly analytical and tend to deconstruct data out of habit. Don't share. People may find you creepy.
I need to remember this.
(But on the plus side, it has been proven that the threshold of behaviors to be considered 'creepy' when applied to females is much higher than for males, so I'm probably okay).
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-ooze/201505/how-we-decide-whos-creepy
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My first sabbatical from the MMM forum was because of another member (who is no longer active) messaging me. It started off with him asking a few questions about Fiverr, which I had posted about on some thread regarding side hustles. Then he stated Fiverr was a bit bizarre because young attractive females could get paid to write messages on their bodies, and he noticed I stated I was a young, short woman on another thread, and did I offer that service on Fiverr and what was my username there...
Big ol' NOPE. Didn't even think to run it by the moderators tbh, but I'm happy to know that's an option.
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Lol. Note to self. If you are overly analytical and tend to deconstruct data out of habit. Don't share. People may find you creepy.
I need to remember this.
(But on the plus side, it has been proven that the threshold of behaviors to be considered 'creepy' when applied to females is much higher than for males, so I'm probably okay).
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-ooze/201505/how-we-decide-whos-creepy
Yeah, creepy is very subjective... 50 Shades of Grey is a horror movie if the guy is missing teeth, works at a gas station, and lives in a trailer park... :D
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I'm usually pretty careful online but this thread makes me realize that I'm a bit more lax on this forum. In two of my recent posts I've mentioned what kind of car I drive and what town I live in.
Did anyone else raise an eyebrow at the "how did you get your username" thread? For me, that could potentially give away my identity if the right person/people were reading and cared. I've seen something similar posted in other forums and I always run away from those types of posts.
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I'm usually pretty careful online but this thread makes me realize that I'm a bit more lax on this forum. In two of my recent posts I've mentioned what kind of car I drive and what town I live in.
Did anyone else raise an eyebrow at the "how did you get your username" thread? For me, that could potentially give away my identity if the right person/people were reading and cared. I've seen something similar posted in other forums and I always run away from those types of posts.
As a general rule, I try not to behave in such a manner that my internet postings would cause personal and/or professional problems. As such, I'm not really inclined to care that much about how "private" my "anonymous" username keeps me. Millions of people have seen me in real life in passing and/or in close proximity without any issues, and I don't think expanding the number to include those who frequent some forums/etc is a significantly higher risk to me than a random person who sees me at the pool hall I go to regularly, or the bank I visit, or my office, or the grocery stores, or in traffic, or anywhere else I'm frequently at. Unfortunately, people will attract stalkers or other people with problems who could be someone they need to be protected from- but that can happen in real life or on the internet. I just don't see that those people with issues on the internet are any more likely to do so to me than such people IRL.
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I'm usually pretty careful online but this thread makes me realize that I'm a bit more lax on this forum. In two of my recent posts I've mentioned what kind of car I drive and what town I live in.
Did anyone else raise an eyebrow at the "how did you get your username" thread? For me, that could potentially give away my identity if the right person/people were reading and cared. I've seen something similar posted in other forums and I always run away from those types of posts.
As a general rule, I try not to behave in such a manner that my internet postings would cause personal and/or professional problems. As such, I'm not really inclined to care that much about how "private" my "anonymous" username keeps me. Millions of people have seen me in real life in passing and/or in close proximity without any issues, and I don't think expanding the number to include those who frequent some forums/etc is a significantly higher risk to me than a random person who sees me at the pool hall I go to regularly, or the bank I visit, or my office, or the grocery stores, or in traffic, or anywhere else I'm frequently at. Unfortunately, people will attract stalkers or other people with problems who could be someone they need to be protected from- but that can happen in real life or on the internet. I just don't see that those people with issues on the internet are any more likely to do so to me than such people IRL.
That's fair. I was actually thinking more along the lines of security. For example, if my bank account security question is what street did you live on growing up or what was my first car and I happen to post that my username is because I grew up on such and such a street or that my username is because my first car was a corvette or something. Now that would require someone finding out who I am, where I bank/invest and my account username. But if my bank username is the same as my MMM handle, that could be easy to do. Of course I would be far more careful with choosing usernames and passwords, so maybe I'm just paranoid. Some people are not careful with choosing usernames and passwords, so I guess it could happen.
I actually don't care much if people know who I am, so you are right about that. Even if the few people who would recognize my username figured me out, I wouldn't care at all. I'd be impressed that they read MMM!
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I'm usually pretty careful online but this thread makes me realize that I'm a bit more lax on this forum. In two of my recent posts I've mentioned what kind of car I drive and what town I live in.
Did anyone else raise an eyebrow at the "how did you get your username" thread? For me, that could potentially give away my identity if the right person/people were reading and cared. I've seen something similar posted in other forums and I always run away from those types of posts.
As a general rule, I try not to behave in such a manner that my internet postings would cause personal and/or professional problems. As such, I'm not really inclined to care that much about how "private" my "anonymous" username keeps me.
I agree, but a lot of us come on here for input on financial decisions that we would prefer not to share at work (when we plan to quit, and it's soon) or maybe even with family (how much money we have that *could* be used to bail out someone making poor decisions). I agree though that it's a good reminder to not share little details that could make you easy to find, and that can be easy to do if someone happens to be in the same area and can pick up on seemingly innocuous detail.
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I will admit the thought has crossed my mind a time or two that if you were someone looking for targets for things such as identity theft, a site like this that attracts people with assets would be a target.
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Lol. Note to self. If you are overly analytical and tend to deconstruct data out of habit. Don't share. People may find you creepy.
I need to remember this.
(But on the plus side, it has been proven that the threshold of behaviors to be considered 'creepy' when applied to females is much higher than for males, so I'm probably okay).
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-ooze/201505/how-we-decide-whos-creepy
No, generally women attract the creeps, instead of being the creeps.
I have only good experiences with the internet so far, although I do make sure I don't give out too much personal information, but I did meet a creepy guy in a bar once who still pops up now and then. I met him when I was having after work drinks with coworkers. I got talking to him and I told him my first name and he somehow picked up that we worked at a local, well-known company. He was really nice to me, but too friendly (trying to touch me all the time) and slightly weird so I went home after a while. I had a Linked-in invitation from him the very same evening. He had 0 contacts and clearly only made that profile so he could get in touch with me. As the company I worked for had more than 2000 employees and I have a very common name, he must have spent some time finding me. He sent me personal messages for some time, but it eventually stopped. More than 5 years later, I can see he still looks up my profile regularly but he doesn't try to get in touch anymore. I'm sure he's harmless, but it did creep me out.
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I have sent PMs to warn new members who appear to be using their ENTIRE REAL NAMES as their MMM handles. That just seems like a bad idea. I think they have all changed their handles quickly, but I could be wrong.
Lol. Note to self. If you are overly analytical and tend to deconstruct data out of habit. Don't share. People may find you creepy.
I need to remember this.
(But on the plus side, it has been proven that the threshold of behaviors to be considered 'creepy' when applied to females is much higher than for males, so I'm probably okay).
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-ooze/201505/how-we-decide-whos-creepy
Yeah, creepy is very subjective... 50 Shades of Grey is a horror movie if the guy is missing teeth, works at a gas station, and lives in a trailer park... :D
I would have been thrilled if 50 Shades of Grey had the last chapter from the perspective of the police investigating the murder of Anastasia Steele (main character girl).
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So I was totally one of these creeps. On this board. And I am female.
There was a poster a few years back who gave just enough information for me to figure out that her husband played in one of my all time ever favorite bands. She never actually identified him by name or what the band was, but if you were a fan of this band it wouldn't have been hard to figure out. So I sent her a private message that 1. I have been a fan of her husband's music for over 20 years and 2. She might want to be careful about the info she was sharing if she was trying to remain anonymous. I was a well-intentioned creep, but I am sure it was still totally creepy to her.
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Lol. Note to self. If you are overly analytical and tend to deconstruct data out of habit. Don't share. People may find you creepy.
I need to remember this.
(But on the plus side, it has been proven that the threshold of behaviors to be considered 'creepy' when applied to females is much higher than for males, so I'm probably okay).
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-ooze/201505/how-we-decide-whos-creepy
No, generally women attract the creeps, instead of being the creeps.
I have only good experiences with the internet so far, although I do make sure I don't give out too much personal information, but I did meet a creepy guy in a bar once who still pops up now and then. I met him when I was having after work drinks with coworkers. I got talking to him and I told him my first name and he somehow picked up that we worked at a local, well-known company. He was really nice to me, but too friendly (trying to touch me all the time) and slightly weird so I went home after a while. I had a Linked-in invitation from him the very same evening. He had 0 contacts and clearly only made that profile so he could get in touch with me. As the company I worked for had more than 2000 employees and I have a very common name, he must have spent some time finding me. He sent me personal messages for some time, but it eventually stopped. More than 5 years later, I can see he still looks up my profile regularly but he doesn't try to get in touch anymore. I'm sure he's harmless, but it did creep me out.
Sorry, but this is wrong. There are definitely creepy women. It's just that societally the behaviors that would make a man a creep don't make a women a creep(or at least not to the same extent).
This likely stems from sexist notions of agency. Both men and women see other women as inherently less threatening than men leading to behavior by one to be seen as innocuous or relatively harmless when the other behaving the same way would be considered a potential threat.
There is also the fact that actions can be creepy when performed by someone the recipient doesn't want to receive these from, yet sought after when done by someone the recipient is interested in. 50 shades of gray was already mentioned same for twilight both of which shows behaviors that would be considered extremely creepy if they were unwanted by the recipient, but instead are seen by many as romantic because it is coming from someone they find appealing.
There is also the societal norm that a man should make the first move, it is much easier to not be a creep when you don't have to make the first move in most situations.
Finally it just happens to be that a larger % of men is considered unappealing to most women than the other way around.
When you add all those factors up naturally the odds are in favour of women experiencing behaviors as creepy more often than men would see the same behavior as creepy, because it is less likely to come from someone the man would find unappealing and even if they did would likely not find threatening.
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So I was totally one of these creeps. On this board. And I am female.
There was a poster a few years back who gave just enough information for me to figure out that her husband played in one of my all time ever favorite bands. She never actually identified him by name or what the band was, but if you were a fan of this band it wouldn't have been hard to figure out. So I sent her a private message that 1. I have been a fan of her husband's music for over 20 years and 2. She might want to be careful about the info she was sharing if she was trying to remain anonymous. I was a well-intentioned creep, but I am sure it was still totally creepy to her.
Lol, I remember very rapidly knowing which band it was, too. It didn't occur to me to contact her about it; I guess it makes sense that someone did because, now that I think about it, she stopped posting (or changed her username . . . ) You are a good, and only slightly creepy, samaritan.
OP, sorry that it happened to you, but it is a good reminder for us all.
I've had no creepiness from this website, thankfully. Like many here, I should probably be more careful about what I post. I like my unusual first name, but between my unusual name, unusual occupation, and public internet presence (because of work), it's unfortunately easy for stalkers to find me.
Then again, have you really arrived unless you've earned rival cabals of fans, haters, and stalkers? Zamboni thinks not.
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Hey Sweet life I got a seriously creepy RL stalker from (I believe) this site because I put out too much personal info here. He lived close by and "found" me and the antics began. And are still somewhat ongoing although its been taken care of and I am in.the process of moving so less concerned now. But to avoid future (very unlikely) problems with someone else I deleted most of my former posts and started fresh with much less info. Contact a mod too.
Ugh! Its not me...I swear! :)
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Lol. Note to self. If you are overly analytical and tend to deconstruct data out of habit. Don't share. People may find you creepy.
I need to remember this.
(But on the plus side, it has been proven that the threshold of behaviors to be considered 'creepy' when applied to females is much higher than for males, so I'm probably okay).
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-ooze/201505/how-we-decide-whos-creepy
No, generally women attract the creeps, instead of being the creeps.
I have only good experiences with the internet so far, although I do make sure I don't give out too much personal information, but I did meet a creepy guy in a bar once who still pops up now and then. I met him when I was having after work drinks with coworkers. I got talking to him and I told him my first name and he somehow picked up that we worked at a local, well-known company. He was really nice to me, but too friendly (trying to touch me all the time) and slightly weird so I went home after a while. I had a Linked-in invitation from him the very same evening. He had 0 contacts and clearly only made that profile so he could get in touch with me. As the company I worked for had more than 2000 employees and I have a very common name, he must have spent some time finding me. He sent me personal messages for some time, but it eventually stopped. More than 5 years later, I can see he still looks up my profile regularly but he doesn't try to get in touch anymore. I'm sure he's harmless, but it did creep me out.
Sorry, but this is wrong. There are definitely creepy women. It's just that societally the behaviors that would make a man a creep don't make a women a creep(or at least not to the same extent).
This likely stems from sexist notions of agency. Both men and women see other women as inherently less threatening than men leading to behavior by one to be seen as innocuous or relatively harmless when the other behaving the same way would be considered a potential threat.
There is also the societal norm that a man should make the first move, it is much easier to not be a creep when you don't have to make the first move in most situations.
Finally it just happens to be that a larger % of men is considered unappealing to most women than the other way around.
When you add all those factors up naturally the odds are in favour of women experiencing behaviors as creepy more often than men would see the same behavior as creepy, because it is less likely to come from someone the man would find unappealing and even if they did would likely not find threatening.
I agree with your analysis, but I don't think that 'creepiness' is a type of behaviour. It's the feeling of cold shivers down your spine that you get from someone's behaviour. The creepy feeling you get is an irrational instinctive reaction (that might stem from prejudice) to a certain type of behaviour. But I agree with your analysis that men and women's behaviour is experienced differently and I agree with the reasons why. A woman acting in a certain way would be perceived differently than a man would. I think women are much more likely to be seen as 'weird' or 'strange' rather than 'creepy' when they show the same behaviour as men. The behaviour is the same, but it doesn't scare people.
Because women are physically less strong, and because many are likely to have experienced violent behaviour from men in the past and because they are being told about stranger danger their entire lives, they are probably much more sensitive to 'creepy feeling'. Personally, I have never thought of another woman as creepy, and I know my (male) partner has only experienced creepy feeling from men, but of course, it varies from person to person.
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I accidentally found a few people on these boards that I have crossed paths with professionally, outside of my own company.
I give them kudos! Wouldn't want to call them out and spook them.
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That's fair. I was actually thinking more along the lines of security. For example, if my bank account security question is what street did you live on growing up or what was my first car
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Hello, I hope I got the quote nesting correct above. Anyway, I just wanted to suggest that you don't use real answers to security questions for this very reason. https://www.wired.com/2016/09/time-kill-security-questions-answer-lies/
Also, some sites store the security question answers in plane text, so that when they are breached there is a big problem. Use a password manager or an encrypted excel file and just make up some lies! eg I was born in >u9#Ea8{>mJ{.g-t in the year 8198
Personally, I use 2 factor verification on most things with my wife's mobile used to verify my transactions. This protects well against "fat fingers" on trades etc.
...yes I am aware of the irony of setting up a new account just to post this.
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That's fair. I was actually thinking more along the lines of security. For example, if my bank account security question is what street did you live on growing up or what was my first car
Hello, I hope I got the quote nesting correct above. Anyway, I just wanted to suggest that you don't use real answers to security questions for this very reason. https://www.wired.com/2016/09/time-kill-security-questions-answer-lies/
Also, some sites store the security question answers in plane text, so that when they are breached there is a big problem. Use a password manager or an encrypted excel file and just make up some lies! eg I was born in >u9#Ea8{>mJ{.g-t in the year 8198
Personally, I use 2 factor verification on most things with my wife's mobile used to verify my transactions. This protects well against "fat fingers" on trades etc.
...yes I am aware of the irony of setting up a new account just to post this.
[/quote]
I actually do use fake answers. Then I just have to remember the fake answers!
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Ugh, that is why I don't use fake answers . . . I would never remember them.
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Another great reason to live in NZ, a billion miles away from most of the posters here!
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Ugh, that is why I don't use fake answers . . . I would never remember them.
Your password manager will remember them.
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Another great reason to live in NZ, a billion miles away from most of the posters here!
That does help.
I'm careful about stating what I do. Mostly because my occupation is broad, but what I do is a smidgen uncommon. So if I said 'I'm a YY working in the ZZ industry/sector' would narrow me down to less than 20 people in Australia, combining with age/gender to fewer than half that. I you put in any geographical vagaries into Google too it would probably come up with an accurate hit.
All the meet ups I've been to, people have tended to identify (and be remembered usually) by their handle rather than their real-life names.
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Never once considered that there may be stalker/creepy people on MMM. I guess we all post too much info. Be careful folks. I'm a big old country boy so I'm less worried about creeps. More worried about hacker thieves.
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Hey Sweet life I got a seriously creepy RL stalker from (I believe) this site because I put out too much personal info here. He lived close by and "found" me and the antics began. And are still somewhat ongoing
Yes, that is indeed very creepy. I've never had anything like that happen nor received any feedback from anyone that they've ever identified me via what I have posted, even on a local news forum.
Happened awhile ago back when I had thousands of posts - many with specific info that would make it super easy to find me (DOH!).
Just to add: my MMM RL creeper was more of the axe wielding "I love you and your severed head would look lovely on my fireplace mantle" kind of creep. But did appreciate the dead black roses he'd leave on my doorstep. So nice to get when you're a single woman living alone ;-).
OMG .... LOL ... now THAT would creep me out !!! lol... You guys are the best! :)
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I will admit the thought has crossed my mind a time or two that if you were someone looking for targets for things such as identity theft, a site like this that attracts people with assets would be a target.
It's mostly because I actually FINALLY have assets (thanks in part to this site!!!) and I want to continue to grow my 'stach that it worried me !
I feel much better now though and believe it was just a "good Samaritan" warning me of putting out too much job-specific info. Its is so very nice to have a forum such as this to bounce these things off of! Not to mention all of the wonderful financial advice I have received!!
I must say I love it when a poster will say "I can see your point..." and then argues the opposing side! And it is (mostly) calm swapping of ideas and opinions!!!
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So I was totally one of these creeps. On this board. And I am female.
There was a poster a few years back who gave just enough information for me to figure out that her husband played in one of my all time ever favorite bands. She never actually identified him by name or what the band was, but if you were a fan of this band it wouldn't have been hard to figure out. So I sent her a private message that 1. I have been a fan of her husband's music for over 20 years and 2. She might want to be careful about the info she was sharing if she was trying to remain anonymous. I was a well-intentioned creep, but I am sure it was still totally creepy to her.
Lol, I remember very rapidly knowing which band it was, too. It didn't occur to me to contact her about it; I guess it makes sense that someone did because, now that I think about it, she stopped posting (or changed her username . . . ) You are a good, and only slightly creepy, samaritan.
OP, sorry that it happened to you, but it is a good reminder for us all.
I've had no creepiness from this website, thankfully. Like many here, I should probably be more careful about what I post. I like my unusual first name, but between my unusual name, unusual occupation, and public internet presence (because of work), it's unfortunately easy for stalkers to find me.
Then again, have you really arrived unless you've earned rival cabals of fans, haters, and stalkers? Zamboni thinks not.
Oh Zamboni lol.. you are FUNNY!!!
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<--that's my name and my actual mug; I don't worry about it too much for reasons others have already stated. I don't share much info that I would worry about being made public, I'm a guy and not single, etc.
I do think that online interaction in general encourages stalker-ish behavior; it's easy to think that you "know" someone when the relationship is totally one-sided; i.e. you read their posts regularly and don't comment or interact. I've seen this awkwardness come up with people who are FB friends but meet IRL infrequently. One of them will trot out all of the events the other has shared in the past six months -- "Hey, how's that puppy doing, and did your daughter really flunk out of junior college?" You can see the other person trying to remember, who are you and where did we meet again? And how do I run away now?
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I do think that online interaction in general encourages stalker-ish behavior; it's easy to think that you "know" someone when the relationship is totally one-sided; i.e. you read their posts regularly and don't comment or interact. I've seen this awkwardness come up with people who are FB friends but meet IRL infrequently. One of them will trot out all of the events the other has shared in the past six months -- "Hey, how's that puppy doing, and did your daughter really flunk out of junior college?" You can see the other person trying to remember, who are you and where did we meet again? And how do I run away now?
I have this problem IRL because I remember everything. In fact, at the mother's day paper that my kid filled out this year where they answer questions, one was a line of "my mom always forgets <fill in blank>" and my kid responded "my mom forgets nothing." My boss refers to me as "her memory", because I'll remember obscure details from months ago. I can meet someone once and remember everything, and I've had it backfire in the past where the person looks at me like I'm a creepy stalker. Nope, if you tell me something once, I will remember it whether I want to or not. It is both a blessing and a curse (just ask my husband...). I've learned to keep my mouth shut more IRL until I know a person well enough for them not to be creeped out about my memory now.
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I do think that online interaction in general encourages stalker-ish behavior; it's easy to think that you "know" someone when the relationship is totally one-sided; i.e. you read their posts regularly and don't comment or interact. I've seen this awkwardness come up with people who are FB friends but meet IRL infrequently. One of them will trot out all of the events the other has shared in the past six months -- "Hey, how's that puppy doing, and did your daughter really flunk out of junior college?" You can see the other person trying to remember, who are you and where did we meet again? And how do I run away now?
I have this problem IRL because I remember everything. In fact, at the mother's day paper that my kid filled out this year where they answer questions, one was a line of "my mom always forgets <fill in blank>" and my kid responded "my mom forgets nothing." My boss refers to me as "her memory", because I'll remember obscure details from months ago. I can meet someone once and remember everything, and I've had it backfire in the past where the person looks at me like I'm a creepy stalker. Nope, if you tell me something once, I will remember it whether I want to or not. It is both a blessing and a curse (just ask my husband...). I've learned to keep my mouth shut more IRL until I know a person well enough for them not to be creeped out about my memory now.
I am so very jealous jillinsandiego!!! I wish I had that ability... instead of having lost my 'recent' memory after I had my baby ...lol... I'm guessing it is just because I now have to remember everything for another human being lol...
I used to remember WAYYY more that I do now ...
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I do think that online interaction in general encourages stalker-ish behavior; it's easy to think that you "know" someone when the relationship is totally one-sided; i.e. you read their posts regularly and don't comment or interact. I've seen this awkwardness come up with people who are FB friends but meet IRL infrequently. One of them will trot out all of the events the other has shared in the past six months -- "Hey, how's that puppy doing, and did your daughter really flunk out of junior college?" You can see the other person trying to remember, who are you and where did we meet again? And how do I run away now?
I have this problem IRL because I remember everything. In fact, at the mother's day paper that my kid filled out this year where they answer questions, one was a line of "my mom always forgets <fill in blank>" and my kid responded "my mom forgets nothing." My boss refers to me as "her memory", because I'll remember obscure details from months ago. I can meet someone once and remember everything, and I've had it backfire in the past where the person looks at me like I'm a creepy stalker. Nope, if you tell me something once, I will remember it whether I want to or not. It is both a blessing and a curse (just ask my husband...). I've learned to keep my mouth shut more IRL until I know a person well enough for them not to be creeped out about my memory now.
I am so very jealous jillinsandiego!!! I wish I had that ability... instead of having lost my 'recent' memory after I had my baby ...lol... I'm guessing it is just because I now have to remember everything for another human being lol...
I used to remember WAYYY more that I do now ...
I'm actually quite the opposite and forget many things, but am quite satisfied with this. It generally leads to me having much less stress in my life.
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Lol. Note to self. If you are overly analytical and tend to deconstruct data out of habit. Don't share. People may find you creepy.
I need to remember this.
Me too. I was debating on contacting a guy on Google+ last night because "Hey, you work on one side of my office and live on the other and drive the same car as me. We have so much in common, we should meet IRL!" I had a feeling I'd seen him here too. But I didn't contact because I had a feeling that would be creepy. Apparently Yes, creepy. Point taken.
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Yeah, I think I would have a lot less stress if I could forget at least SOME things!
Sweetlife I remember the post-kid fog (my youngest is 5 now); if you used to have a stellar memory, it will come back once you're sleeping again, to a large extent. I found it really frustrating too. My husband said it made me more "normal". But, with kids, you have to forget SOME things, or there's no way anyone would have more than one. Maybe that wouldn't be SO bad these days...
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I do think that online interaction in general encourages stalker-ish behavior; it's easy to think that you "know" someone when the relationship is totally one-sided; i.e. you read their posts regularly and don't comment or interact. I've seen this awkwardness come up with people who are FB friends but meet IRL infrequently. One of them will trot out all of the events the other has shared in the past six months -- "Hey, how's that puppy doing, and did your daughter really flunk out of junior college?" You can see the other person trying to remember, who are you and where did we meet again? And how do I run away now?
I have this problem IRL because I remember everything. In fact, at the mother's day paper that my kid filled out this year where they answer questions, one was a line of "my mom always forgets <fill in blank>" and my kid responded "my mom forgets nothing." My boss refers to me as "her memory", because I'll remember obscure details from months ago. I can meet someone once and remember everything, and I've had it backfire in the past where the person looks at me like I'm a creepy stalker. Nope, if you tell me something once, I will remember it whether I want to or not. It is both a blessing and a curse (just ask my husband...). I've learned to keep my mouth shut more IRL until I know a person well enough for them not to be creeped out about my memory now.
I am so very jealous jillinsandiego!!! I wish I had that ability... instead of having lost my 'recent' memory after I had my baby ...lol... I'm guessing it is just because I now have to remember everything for another human being lol...
I used to remember WAYYY more that I do now ...
I'm actually quite the opposite and forget many things, but am quite satisfied with this. It generally leads to me having much less stress in my life.
I'm more like Jill, a very encyclopedic memory; not so much for inter-personal facts, but just LOTS of random facts. And I learned a long time ago that can really creep people out. But if you are self aware enough to realize you have a tendency towards creepy, you can be self-aware enough to study creepiness and de-creepify yourself. I think I have been mostly successful.
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I do think that online interaction in general encourages stalker-ish behavior; it's easy to think that you "know" someone when the relationship is totally one-sided; i.e. you read their posts regularly and don't comment or interact. I've seen this awkwardness come up with people who are FB friends but meet IRL infrequently. One of them will trot out all of the events the other has shared in the past six months -- "Hey, how's that puppy doing, and did your daughter really flunk out of junior college?" You can see the other person trying to remember, who are you and where did we meet again? And how do I run away now?
I have this problem IRL because I remember everything. In fact, at the mother's day paper that my kid filled out this year where they answer questions, one was a line of "my mom always forgets <fill in blank>" and my kid responded "my mom forgets nothing." My boss refers to me as "her memory", because I'll remember obscure details from months ago. I can meet someone once and remember everything, and I've had it backfire in the past where the person looks at me like I'm a creepy stalker. Nope, if you tell me something once, I will remember it whether I want to or not. It is both a blessing and a curse (just ask my husband...). I've learned to keep my mouth shut more IRL until I know a person well enough for them not to be creeped out about my memory now.
I am so very jealous jillinsandiego!!! I wish I had that ability... instead of having lost my 'recent' memory after I had my baby ...lol... I'm guessing it is just because I now have to remember everything for another human being lol...
I used to remember WAYYY more that I do now ...
I'm actually quite the opposite and forget many things, but am quite satisfied with this. It generally leads to me having much less stress in my life.
I'm more like Jill, a very encyclopedic memory; not so much for inter-personal facts, but just LOTS of random facts. And I learned a long time ago that can really creep people out. But if you are self aware enough to realize you have a tendency towards creepy, you can be self-aware enough to study creepiness and de-creepify yourself. I think I have been mostly successful.
I remember plenty of facts, but experiences are things I am more likely forget either most of or sometimes all of. It's kind of like a blurring, I remember the general gist of what happened, but the details are gone.
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Holy crap Spartana, I remember when you were going through that but I had no idea it was that freaky. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
Once I realized that I was going to start interacting with some of the people here IRL, I went back and deleted a lot of my potentially identifying info or things that I wouldn't want people to know. I guess someone could figure me out, but I hope not.
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Me too. I was debating on contacting a guy on Google+ last night because "Hey, you work on one side of my office and live on the other and drive the same car as me. We have so much in common, we should meet IRL!" I had a feeling I'd seen him here too. But I didn't contact because I had a feeling that would be creepy. Apparently Yes, creepy. Point taken.
While I don't claim to speak for all guys, I don't think I would find that creepy, it would just seem like an interesting reason to meet. I think many more women would find that creepy, for reasons already discussed. If you are already connected on Google+, you have some kind of relationship, if only through friends, right? I don't use social media much, so I'm not sure.
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Lol. Note to self. If you are overly analytical and tend to deconstruct data out of habit. Don't share. People may find you creepy.
I need to remember this.
Me too. I was debating on contacting a guy on Google+ last night because "Hey, you work on one side of my office and live on the other and drive the same car as me. We have so much in common, we should meet IRL!" I had a feeling I'd seen him here too. But I didn't contact because I had a feeling that would be creepy. Apparently Yes, creepy. Point taken.
I don't think I would find it creepy, but I would definitely think you were hitting on me. Most guys, depending on their relationship status, would probably do a quick, "hot or not?" and agree or disagree to meet up based on that evaluation. I think very few guys would find that creepy.
Now if the genders were reversed, it definitely would be creepy.
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Yeah, I think I would have a lot less stress if I could forget at least SOME things!
Sweetlife I remember the post-kid fog (my youngest is 5 now); if you used to have a stellar memory, it will come back once you're sleeping again, to a large extent. I found it really frustrating too. My husband said it made me more "normal". But, with kids, you have to forget SOME things, or there's no way anyone would have more than one. Maybe that wouldn't be SO bad these days...
I'm still waiting for the memory to return lol... he's 3 now and I sleep wonderfully - or maybe its because I splurged and bought a new mattress and box spring... 70% 0ff but like sleeping on a cloud and worth every penny!
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Well, you have a couple more years until you're out of survival mode, right? I feel like we're finally almost there with the younger ones being 5 and 7. Some things are really just never the same post-kid though; can vary I'm sure. :)
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Makes you wonder, how do MMM, GCC and JLCollins etc keep their privacy? they share so much of their lifes, which is helping so many people. But it's a serious danger for them.
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This thread is creeping me out.
Spartana, good luck in September and beyond.
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I deal with crazy people everyday at work as a physiotherapist. Sometimes I have to be a bit of an ass with regards to abilities for return to work and such. I also don't think I am very interesting from a stalkers perspective. The joys of being a boring, average looking male haha.
There are definitely creepy women out there. They usually have many cats.
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Any tips on what info to avoid revealing, that is not obvious?
Is it mostly photos, cities, companies... ?
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Any tips on what info to avoid revealing, that is not obvious?
Is it mostly photos, cities, companies... ?
I haven't dealt with this much, but I think the main goal is not to give enough info so that you can be uniquely identified. Feel free to change/generalize details in your stories. You don't need to say "my sister," you can say "my relative." Don't give real names. If your coworker is named Josh, use a fake name such as Alphonse when talking about him. If you are referring to an event that might show up in the newspaper, don't give the actual date of the event.
For example, if Member were to have in his profile that he lives in the SF Bay area and to start talking about his wonderful grandmother that he visited after work every day who passed away on Tuesday, a creepy creeper could come along and check out the SF Bay area obituaries for deaths August 8th of women old enough to have grandchildren, then track down the names of those grandchildren, then cross-reference that list with the profession that Member mentions in another thread. Again, this is just an example. Someone trying to be a creepy creeper probably has better methods figured out. Apparently, it is not difficult to identify people gradually through eliminating people who don't fit what someone has posted.
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts. If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)
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Haha, I'm definitely going back to old posts and deleting some. I can think of 1 off the top of my head that would identify specific location.
The few people I've met IRL from the forum have all been very nice and "normal" (in the Mustachian sense), but guess it just takes the one creep to ruin things. So sorry what you've had to deal with IRL Spartana (and Sol), and Sweet Life with the creepy messages.
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts. If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)
Feel free to scrutinize me also. :)
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts. If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)
Feel free to scrutinize me also. :)
I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts. If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)
Feel free to scrutinize me also. :)
I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.
I think I'm close to figuring out Raenia, but I really need to not work on this till later when I am not on company time.
It's actually quite fun.
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Holy crap! I decided to stalk myself. I went through my last 25 posts here, then thought to cross reference with twitter (good trick for finding someone, people tend to re-use names) and BAM, found myself. From there found the town I live in (I had retweeted something from the schools) and between that and giving my first name on a Frugalwoods blog comment where I explicitly stated my MMM forum name, it took a couple of tries but I found my last name. From there my actual address. And Linked In profile, which has my work location. About an hour of company time wasted, whoops.
Lesson learned: I need to take my Twitter account private, and never post anything to associate internet aliases.
I'm not sure that I'll delete old posts here because there wasn't quite enough to pinpoint me in the 25 I read, but there might be.
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Yeah, creepy is very subjective... 50 Shades of Grey is a horror movie if the guy is missing teeth, works at a gas station, and lives in a trailer park... :D
This made me LOL! :)
So true! And Johnny Depp is a greasy haired druggie......
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts. If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)
Feel free to scrutinize me also. :)
I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.
I think I'm close to figuring out Raenia, but I really need to not work on this till later when I am not on company time.
It's actually quite fun.
Oh my gosh- this is like my dream job! I am really good at filling in details on people, jobs that recruiters contact us about, etc. I've seriously researched jobs for private internet sleuth, etc, but can't find anything that fits.
I'm gonna research JillinSanDiego; @jillinsandiego, I'll PM you if I can figure it out! :)
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts. If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)
Feel free to scrutinize me also. :)
I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.
I think I'm close to figuring out Raenia, but I really need to not work on this till later when I am not on company time.
It's actually quite fun.
Oh my gosh- this is like my dream job! I am really good at filling in details on people, jobs that recruiters contact us about, etc. I've seriously researched jobs for private internet sleuth, etc, but can't find anything that fits.
I'm gonna research JillinSanDiego; @jillinsandiego, I'll PM you if I can figure it out! :)
okay, curious to see your results!
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts. If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)
Feel free to scrutinize me also. :)
I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.
I think I'm close to figuring out Raenia, but I really need to not work on this till later when I am not on company time.
It's actually quite fun.
Oh my gosh- this is like my dream job! I am really good at filling in details on people, jobs that recruiters contact us about, etc. I've seriously researched jobs for private internet sleuth, etc, but can't find anything that fits.
I'm gonna research JillinSanDiego; @jillinsandiego, I'll PM you if I can figure it out! :)
okay, curious to see your results!
Sending you a PM...... :) :) :)
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I think OP has set off a ripple effect of people deleting posts and journals, lol.
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts. If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)
Feel free to scrutinize me also. :)
I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.
I think I'm close to figuring out Raenia, but I really need to not work on this till later when I am not on company time.
It's actually quite fun.
Oh my gosh- this is like my dream job! I am really good at filling in details on people, jobs that recruiters contact us about, etc. I've seriously researched jobs for private internet sleuth, etc, but can't find anything that fits.
I'm gonna research JillinSanDiego; @jillinsandiego, I'll PM you if I can figure it out! :)
okay, curious to see your results!
Sending you a PM...... :) :) :)
Ok, who's next? I'll work on Cali Nonya tomorrow when I have the time, if no one else has started the research.....
Frankly though, this is kind of creeping me out, too, and I usually take steps to hide my own identify (give false info when it doesn't matter, etc). For the record though, I will fully admit that my profile picture is DEFINITELY a self portrait. :)
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This has been really interesting and eye opening. Thanks for the PM, FinallyAwake! At least I don't have a journal to delete, but maybe I ought to change my username to make it a tad bit harder for a real, actual creepy stalker. :)
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I think OP has set off a ripple effect of people deleting posts and journals, lol.
and all ya all thought I was crazy back when I deleted many of my posts. I was VERY open about myself (and some other posters who knew me and my real/unusual name occasionally slipped up and used it here) that really anyone could find me. I did have lots of posts over the years and sad to see them go. Bristles ha! Walrus stache bee-itches ;-)
Oh, I absolutely didn't think you were crazy. This is actually my second account. My first I never posted many times (like 50? maybe?) but got paranoid and deleted it and started again.
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Ok, who's next? I'll work on Cali Nonya tomorrow when I have the time, if no one else has started the research.....
Frankly though, this is kind of creeping me out, too, and I usually take steps to hide my own identify (give false info when it doesn't matter, etc). For the record though, I will fully admit that my profile picture is DEFINITELY a self portrait. :)
If you want, feel free to look at mine. I'm curious how badly I have done on keeping things private.
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Ok, who's next? I'll work on Cali Nonya tomorrow when I have the time, if no one else has started the research.....
Frankly though, this is kind of creeping me out, too, and I usually take steps to hide my own identify (give false info when it doesn't matter, etc). For the record though, I will fully admit that my profile picture is DEFINITELY a self portrait. :)
If you want, feel free to look at mine. I'm curious how badly I have done on keeping things private.
I'll add you to my list! :) Probably won't get to it until this weekend. I'll PM you when I've finished.
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
Wanna try me? Hahaha, just kidding! (Inside joke + I know I'd be an easy target.) Just the fact that I have revealed (okay, bragged) multiple times that DH walks to work eliminates 99.998765% of the rest of the Bay Area population.
A friend of mine calls me Inch High Private Eye, but I don't have nearly your level of skills or brainpower. I do think it would be an awesome job, full of challenge and mystery, 'cause everyone has something that could be incriminating if looked at from the right (or wrong) angle, right? I'm not sure about the private sector (oh, c'mon, there must be jobs like this), but I am positive such jobs exist in the military. Alas, I'm sure I'm too old and out of shape to get through boot camp. I'll have to settle for FIRE instead.
Sparty, if I haven't said this before, I am sorry as hell that some creep tracked you down. I hope your house sells for a good price and that you find a nice, happy new place to live.
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I'm up for being added to the detectives list. I've felt a few times like I share too much! I'll even give y'all a clue: I go by both my maiden and my married surnames. Do PM me if you have a guess!
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OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am <this close> to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that? I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'? Thanks!
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OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am <this close> to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that? I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'? Thanks!
If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic I'll be a link to "my posts"
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OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am <this close> to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that? I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'? Thanks!
If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic I'll be a link to "my posts"
Thanks!
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OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am <this close> to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that? I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'? Thanks!
If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic I'll be a link to "my posts"
Thanks!
Creepily enough, you can do this for anyone else, too, and look at all their posts.
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OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am <this close> to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that? I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'? Thanks!
If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic I'll be a link to "my posts"
Thanks!
Creepily enough, you can do this for anyone else, too, and look at all their posts.
Yup. It's available on everyone's profile for others to see.
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Ya know, I have thought about this before. I have way too much info out there, but there is not much I can do at this point, other than change my name, move and start over again. I used to exchange zines, so I had my home address so people could correspond. I can enter my name on the internet, and in 30 seconds find my address (property taxes). If someone did want to do me harm or locate me, not much I can do about it. My family has already had a stalker (target primarily my brother, but my sister and me to a lesser extent) to the extent of changing phone numbers multiple times, restraining orders, arrests, and the person being institutionalized. Basically I'm relying on the hope, assumption that that most people are not assh*les. I'm promoting a book (very small press), and a bookshop wanted a presskit, including a head shot. I did eventually provide one, but I don't like stuff like that.
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OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am <this close> to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that? I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'? Thanks!
If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic I'll be a link to "my posts"
Thanks!
Creepily enough, you can do this for anyone else, too, and look at all their posts.
Yup. It's available on everyone's profile for others to see.
Can we simply ask that this "feature" be disabled so others can't see entire post history? Perhaps better privacy settings where we can choose what info is readily accessible to others might help some of us feel more comfortable.
It actually gets used to help people too by checking their posting history when answering a question they may have, however you can still achieve something similar using google with just a little more work.
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Hey Sweet life I got a seriously creepy RL stalker from (I believe) this site because I put out too much personal info here. He lived close by and "found" me and the antics began. And are still somewhat ongoing
Yes, that is indeed very creepy. I've never had anything like that happen nor received any feedback from anyone that they've ever identified me via what I have posted, even on a local news forum.
Happened awhile ago back when I had thousands of posts - many with specific info that would make it super easy to find me (DOH!).
Just to add: my MMM RL creeper was more of the axe wielding "I love you and your severed head would look lovely on my fireplace mantle" kind of creep. But did appreciate the dead black roses he'd leave on my doorstep. So nice to get when you're a single woman living alone ;-).
so sorry you went through this. I think stalkers like the power of making someone fearful.
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OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am <this close> to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that? I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'? Thanks!
If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic I'll be a link to "my posts"
Thanks!
Creepily enough, you can do this for anyone else, too, and look at all their posts.
Yup. It's available on everyone's profile for others to see.
Can we simply ask that this "feature" be disabled so others can't see entire post history? Perhaps better privacy settings where we can choose what info is readily accessible to others might help some of us feel more comfortable.
It actually gets used to help people too by checking their posting history when answering a question they may have, however you can still achieve something similar using google with just a little more work.
I use it on a regular basis. Sometimes I can't remember details of someone's story and don't want to look like the memory-deficient idiot that I often feel like I am. Other times, someone new asks a question on a topic I've written on extensively, so it's easier to dig up the previous response than write it all over again (see Prognostat's thoughts above). I've been here five years or so and sometimes it's fun to go back and see what I was commenting on and reflect on what progress I've made. I have a journal and occasionally I'll pull something from the archives to post there.
I'm resigned to the fact that I'm certainly find-able. In my single days, I certainly would have minded more, but now perhaps I feel less vulnerable, because I don't travel for work and I am virtually never alone. There's an example of how radically changed my life is since joining the forum. This from the person who once booked and flew eight Southwest flights in one day, just to get a shit load of points.
I didn't notice the feature for quite some time, but now I'm very glad it exists.
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Hey Sweet life I got a seriously creepy RL stalker from (I believe) this site because I put out too much personal info here. He lived close by and "found" me and the antics began. And are still somewhat ongoing
Yes, that is indeed very creepy. I've never had anything like that happen nor received any feedback from anyone that they've ever identified me via what I have posted, even on a local news forum.
Happened awhile ago back when I had thousands of posts - many with specific info that would make it super easy to find me (DOH!).
Just to add: my MMM RL creeper was more of the axe wielding "I love you and your severed head would look lovely on my fireplace mantle" kind of creep. But did appreciate the dead black roses he'd leave on my doorstep. So nice to get when you're a single woman living alone ;-).
so sorry you went through this. I think stalkers like the power of making someone fearful.
Thanks. Although I was less fearful and more irritated and annoyed.
Well that's because you're a scary badass =) In the best possible way, of course.
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I didn't notice the feature for quite some time, but now I'm very glad it exists.
I'm also glad that feature exists for my own account/personal reference; but would rather have the optional choice if we want entire post history to be shared with others in an easily accessible list (understood that Google digging is still possible, but harder).
Currently, it's the default to easily view anyone's entire post history, but seems like a simple privacy option to allow a choice.
The thing though is disabling it would be more likely to deter the helpful uses whereas a legitimately dangerous creep is unlikely to be deterred and will use google/other methods.
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Currently, it's the default to easily view anyone's entire post history, but seems like a simple privacy option to allow a choice.
In my view, the utility of having that feature always be available to be used for legitimate purposes outweighs the interests of users who might wish to disable it because of its potential to be used for illegitimate purposes. There can be no reasonable expectation of privacy when posting to a public internet forum like this one, and users should be mindful of the extremely broad reach of this particular forum when deciding how much care they wish to take (or not take) in trying to avoid revealing their identity. MMM described it well in his "What it means to be a part of this forum" (https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/forum-information-faqs/what-it-means-to-be-part-of-this-forum/) post:
This forum, because of your unusually precise and intelligent content, has become an insanely powerful magnet for Google and other search engines. Often, conversations you have here will immediately show up on the first page of a web search. This brings more people, and means the conversations are influential. The forum alone (not counting the main Mr. Money Mustache blog) gets over 3 million page views per month.
When you combine these two factors: limited size and wide reach, you come to realize that this forum is not really a bunch of private conversations. It's more like a stage, on which you are performing the act of civilized questions and intelligent responses in front of millions of people. OK, not every conversation, but definitely certain ones wherever we happen to get a lot of search visitors.
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I didn't read the whole thread so it may have been mentioned.
Be careful sharing pics or files through Google. Someone can see whatever details you display with Google. name, email address, etc. Many folks show their full real name. Once you have that and a state or city, it is pretty easy to find someone (if you're a weirdo).
End of PSA :)
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I didn't read the whole thread so it may have been mentioned.
Be careful sharing pics or files through Google. Someone can see whatever details you display with Google. name, email address, etc. Many folks show their full real name. Once you have that and a state or city, it is pretty easy to find someone (if you're a weirdo).
End of PSA :)
Yeah I see a lot of people post case studies that link to their gmail accounts with their full names =\
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OK, yeah. I spent some time looking at my posts, and I think I have overshared at times. I would not be the easiest person to find (have never had a Facebook, Twitter, or Google account) but if someone really wanted to find me they probably could. I deleted the most detailed posts. I guess I feel better, though it is also sad that it might be necessary . . . Sigh.
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Someone upthread mentioned that the military probably has ways of finding out lots about you, but the police do too, which you might find comforting or frightening, depending on your stance.
Last month, our neighbor's house caught on fire at 3AM. We called it in and were outside when the fire trucks, police, and EMS showed up. They determined that no one was home, somehow found a cell phone number associated with the house, determined it was many states away, and sent local police (it was the father of an owner). I knew the owners' daughter's first name only, and within minutes, they had a picture of her on a laptop, and sent someone to pound on her door (local). The only ones they couldn't locate were the owners themselves, who were out of the country.
Too many geekettes on the web to easily find me, I think.
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Point taken, spartana.
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I'm up for being added to the detectives list. I've felt a few times like I share too much! I'll even give y'all a clue: I go by both my maiden and my married surnames. Do PM me if you have a guess!
Anyone taking my case on, or is it safe to go back to posting my personal info with wild abandon? :P
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Point taken, spartana.
tried to PM you to give you a heads up but wouldn't go thru but figured you'd want to know. The internet can be a scary pdlace sometimes sadly.
Given your recent scary experience, thank you for reaching out to share your concern for others. You didn't have to do that. You're a good one, Spartana.
Anyone taking my case on, or is it safe to go back to posting my personal info with wild abandon? :P
Oh shit, you crack me up, SLTD. IIRC, the one to ask is Cali Nonya.
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Current update from the Scientific Creepers.
In general, what give away the most information is when we talk about jobs and employment (big ole plus for all the actual FIRE folks). Other than Jill in San Diego, we have not cracked anyone yet. If someone posts their actual first name, then it become easy to use people search tools and line up the dots from postings, but without a name as a starting point, it is actually rather hard to pinpoint someone even if you figure out personal details, where they live, and their employer.
So our current update is:
** Be very careful with real names
** Think about how much you post about work / employment
** It's pretty easy to figure out where people live from comments even if you don't name the city / town
I have not started SheLivesTheDream yet. And yes Braken_Joy, your size (of posts) is intimidating.
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
I would be interested in having my posts scrutinized as well. I've tried to be pretty careful about posting identifying information. Though I suspect someone that knew me in real life would figure out my identity pretty quickly if they were looking for me on this forum.
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Current update from the Scientific Creepers.
In general, what give away the most information is when we talk about jobs and employment (big ole plus for all the actual FIRE folks). Other than Jill in San Diego, we have not cracked anyone yet. If someone posts their actual first name, then it become easy to use people search tools and line up the dots from postings, but without a name as a starting point, it is actually rather hard to pinpoint someone even if you figure out personal details, where they live, and their employer.
So our current update is:
** Be very careful with real names
** Think about how much you post about work / employment
** It's pretty easy to figure out where people live from comments even if you don't name the city / town
I have not started SheLivesTheDream yet. And yes Braken_Joy, your size (of posts) is intimidating.
I'd be interested if you could find me. I've posted tons of personal info on this site. Certainly anyone who knows me could confirm that it's me based on posts. But I don't think that a random person who somehow became obsessed with me on this site could find me. I keep a low internet profile IRL.
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You can search for me if your are interested. I did recently post the general area I live in. Not sure if that is super helpful.
I find it interesting you are finding it difficult, and I think that's a good thing!
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Current update from the Scientific Creepers.
In general, what give away the most information is when we talk about jobs and employment (big ole plus for all the actual FIRE folks). Other than Jill in San Diego, we have not cracked anyone yet. If someone posts their actual first name, then it become easy to use people search tools and line up the dots from postings, but without a name as a starting point, it is actually rather hard to pinpoint someone even if you figure out personal details, where they live, and their employer.
So our current update is:
** Be very careful with real names
** Think about how much you post about work / employment
** It's pretty easy to figure out where people live from comments even if you don't name the city / town
I have not started SheLivesTheDream yet. And yes Braken_Joy, your size (of posts) is intimidating.
Thanks for the update!
I would be interested in having my posts scrutinized as well. I've tried to be pretty careful about posting identifying information. Though I suspect someone that knew me in real life would figure out my identity pretty quickly if they were looking for me on this forum.
Yup, I worry about this. I have emoted a lot at various points about some pretty personal stuff that most of my friends don't know about, and I feel like if someone I know happened across my posts they could be certain it was me fairly quickly.
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Current update from the Scientific Creepers.
In general, what give away the most information is when we talk about jobs and employment (big ole plus for all the actual FIRE folks). Other than Jill in San Diego, we have not cracked anyone yet. If someone posts their actual first name, then it become easy to use people search tools and line up the dots from postings, but without a name as a starting point, it is actually rather hard to pinpoint someone even if you figure out personal details, where they live, and their employer.
So our current update is:
** Be very careful with real names
** Think about how much you post about work / employment
** It's pretty easy to figure out where people live from comments even if you don't name the city / town
I have not started SheLivesTheDream yet. And yes Braken_Joy, your size (of posts) is intimidating.
Yeah, I second the information here. I really didn't think I had posted enough to identify myself, and if I had kept my first name out of the picture it probably would have been a lot harder. Now I'm trying to decide if I start over with a new username or what. Decisions, decisions.
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One other little tidbit.
If you HAM, don't post your call sign if you want to remain anonymous.
The call sign can be looked up on the FCC public database to get the operator's full real name and current address!
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Current update from the Scientific Creepers.
In general, what give away the most information is when we talk about jobs and employment (big ole plus for all the actual FIRE folks). Other than Jill in San Diego, we have not cracked anyone yet. If someone posts their actual first name, then it become easy to use people search tools and line up the dots from postings, but without a name as a starting point, it is actually rather hard to pinpoint someone even if you figure out personal details, where they live, and their employer.
So our current update is:
** Be very careful with real names
** Think about how much you post about work / employment
** It's pretty easy to figure out where people live from comments even if you don't name the city / town
I have not started SheLivesTheDream yet. And yes Braken_Joy, your size (of posts) is intimidating.
Thanks for the update!
I would be interested in having my posts scrutinized as well. I've tried to be pretty careful about posting identifying information. Though I suspect someone that knew me in real life would figure out my identity pretty quickly if they were looking for me on this forum.
Yup, I worry about this. I have emoted a lot at various points about some pretty personal stuff that most of my friends don't know about, and I feel like if someone I know happened across my posts they could be certain it was me fairly quickly.
Me too, sorta. I recommend this blog all the time, so if someone had that starting point, it would be a breeze to figure it out. I don't do other social media or HAM (Thanks, Roland!), but if someone knew to start here...
That said, I know there's plenty o' personal stuff in my journal, exactly because I need a place to vent. If I want to bitch about how much I hate er, strongly dislike my MIL on occasion, I can safely vent it here, like this: Goddamnit, I just bought eight bananas and in between full, homecooked, nutritious meals, she polished off the remaining FIVE yesterday and hid the peels under a hat in her room. I'll add that I don't like bananas, and I hate the smell of the peels. Her room reeks of banana peels. Gross, and now I have to shop again, because her doctor wants her to have half of one a day. I haven't figured out a way to hide them, mostly because I hate the smell of them so much. If I put them in the pantry, the smell makes me gag. I often cut them up and freeze them, because they're easier to deal with that way, which was my intention when I bought eight last week. See that closed loop that just formed? Is it just a closed loop or is it a noose around my neck?
That's the kind of weird thought I can vent here. If I tell stories like that one to people I know IRL, they either look at me with pity in their eyes, or they think I'm a bitch (okay, that one might have some validity). Venting here is a huge help for my sanity, so thanks to everyone who listens. I think I'm not gonna worry too much about the Creepers, Scientific or otherwise, but I really appreciate the reminders and the update, Cali Nonya.
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Hmm, so you CAN change your name that displays on your posts, although I'm assuming that the username doesn't change when you look at someone's profile so it's still there, but not as obvious at an initial glance. Now to post a bunch to various places so that my earlier stuff is hidden and it's more intimidating like Bracken_Joy's. I don't really want to start over, but this whole thing showed me I didn't want to have my name and location out there on every post. Won't matter so much after FIRE, but that's too many years away still.
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Hmm, so you CAN change your name that displays on your posts, although I'm assuming that the username doesn't change when you look at someone's profile so it's still there, but not as obvious at an initial glance. Now to post a bunch to various places so that my earlier stuff is hidden and it's more intimidating like Bracken_Joy's. I don't really want to start over, but this whole thing showed me I didn't want to have my name and location out there on every post. Won't matter so much after FIRE, but that's too many years away still.
Yes, my tactic is clearly to dissuade anyone but the most *dedicated* of creepers. I insist on the finest. No lazy creepers allowed. =)
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Hmm, so you CAN change your name that displays on your posts, although I'm assuming that the username doesn't change when you look at someone's profile so it's still there, but not as obvious at an initial glance. Now to post a bunch to various places so that my earlier stuff is hidden and it's more intimidating like Bracken_Joy's. I don't really want to start over, but this whole thing showed me I didn't want to have my name and location out there on every post. Won't matter so much after FIRE, but that's too many years away still.
Yes, my tactic is clearly to dissuade anyone but the most *dedicated* of creepers. I insist on the finest. No lazy creepers allowed. =)
Anyone who is willing to sort through 8500+ posts to determine your identity would definitely not be lazy! Frighteningly determined, though.
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Hmm, so you CAN change your name that displays on your posts, although I'm assuming that the username doesn't change when you look at someone's profile so it's still there, but not as obvious at an initial glance. Now to post a bunch to various places so that my earlier stuff is hidden and it's more intimidating like Bracken_Joy's. I don't really want to start over, but this whole thing showed me I didn't want to have my name and location out there on every post. Won't matter so much after FIRE, but that's too many years away still.
Yes, my tactic is clearly to dissuade anyone but the most *dedicated* of creepers. I insist on the finest. No lazy creepers allowed. =)
Anyone who is willing to sort through 8500+ posts to determine your identity would definitely not be lazy! Frighteningly determined, though.
Unfortunately that was Spartana too =( She had TONS of posts. Didn't dissuade her scary stalker.
So, I'll joke about it, but I will continue not specifying my name or where I live.
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
Well I already know that i am easily identified lol... at least by people in Canada... however I do have a rather easy to identify job
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I think OP has set off a ripple effect of people deleting posts and journals, lol.
Don't get me wrong ... I love to share and get back info regarding finances and life!!! But I can't believe some of the stalker stories you guys have mentioned!!! I can't imagine what a celebrity like MMM goes through!!! ;)
Its not easy to be "stealth" these days lol...
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Yes, my tactic is clearly to dissuade anyone but the most *dedicated* of creepers. I insist on the finest. No lazy creepers allowed. =)
Oh no! I have been labeled as a lazy creeper. Oh the shame, how will I ever been seen here again?
(Though now that I say that, 'lazy creeper' sounds like a type of bird. I think I found my avatar.)
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Yes, my tactic is clearly to dissuade anyone but the most *dedicated* of creepers. I insist on the finest. No lazy creepers allowed. =)
Oh no! I have been labeled as a lazy creeper. Oh the shame, how will I ever been seen here again?
(Though now that I say that, 'lazy creeper' sounds like a type of bird. I think I found my avatar.)
I was just hoping to goad you into your highest level of creeper. It's character development.
And I will *always* support more nature photos on the forums =D
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You could always occasionally make some posts that claim you live in a different city or work in a different field so someone who was searching your posts would find conflicting information and not know which clues to follow. I'm sure you could find threads to post in where doing this wouldn't derail the thread or make it less valuable.
That's what a lot of performers I work with in Las Vegas do.
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I sometimes wonder if my openness will come back to bite me in the ass. It would be extremely easy for someone to find out my name, where I live, and maybe where I work from my posts. But then, they could also find out all of that from just coming to one of our local MMMeetups and chatting with me for five minutes. I do think you have a certain degree of additional security living in a secure apartment complex with cameras and electronic access for the doors/elevators.
I suppose only time will tell.
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You could always occasionally make some posts that claim you live in a different city or work in a different field so someone who was searching your posts would find conflicting information and not know which clues to follow. I'm sure you could find threads to post in where doing this wouldn't derail the thread or make it less valuable.
That's what a lot of performers I work with in Las Vegas do.
This is what I do, too.
I'm one of the members working on cracking the IDs of people (who have requested) here. It's super fun!! :) But it takes quite a bit of time...especially if the person has a bunch of posts. Though, my DH saw my notebook and got kind of freaked out about what I was doing! ha
Optimiser- I know Cali Nonya tried you, and I started the other day; I'll resume soon.
After that I'll work on the others who have requested, too. In the meantime, if anyone has any super-sleuthy-work-from-home-high-paying-job offers they want to send me, I'm ready! :)
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This thread is great for inspiring Punk Band Names of the day:
Banana Peel Vent
Lazy Creepers
Stalky McStalkerface
How about:
the Scientific Creepers
Remain Anonymous
Cali Nonya and the Detectives
that's all I've got. Fun thought exercise, though.
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I've had a few people contact me to enlist my professional services. Obviously they all find out who I am, where I do business, etc. None of them have been weirdos. I didn't feel like it was creepy for them to send me a message and ask for my contact info. But I offer my services to the public, so I suppose I'm somewhat inoculated against being creeped out when strangers get in touch with me.
I have creepier clients than MMM forum users :)
I just Googled my username to see what I could find... and I found a stuffed tiger who travels to CPA conferences... and I like what I see.
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If someone wants to try and find me, that'd be interesting (but not to mention my real name here in public, please :) ). Actually, I think I have a link to my blog in my profile so I'd be interested in both aspects, can I be found just due to my MMM posts, can I be found if MMM leads to my blog. My blog has a lot of personal information that I think would actually make it pretty easy to find me, based on what I've read here.
Actually, I have two main online personas and it would be really interesting to see how easily a connection was found between Moonwaves and the other one. I suspect it'd be a whole lot easier than I think, too.
I used to be almost unfindable as a real person online but since I started my side-business and got a website, that time has passed (rules where I live require you to have a page on your website with the actual address of the business and since I work at home...).
Also, this would probably be an amazing sidegig for somebody. Monetising creepiness....well, if former hackers can get jobs as security consultants why not?
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Current update from the Scientific Creepers.
In general, what give away the most information is when we talk about jobs and employment (big ole plus for all the actual FIRE folks). Other than FireHiker [Herring changed this], we have not cracked anyone yet. If someone posts their actual first name, then it become easy to use people search tools and line up the dots from postings, but without a name as a starting point, it is actually rather hard to pinpoint someone even if you figure out personal details, where they live, and their employer.
So our current update is:
** Be very careful with real names
** Think about how much you post about work / employment
** It's pretty easy to figure out where people live from comments even if you don't name the city / town
I have not started SheLivesTheDream yet. And yes Braken_Joy, your size (of posts) is intimidating.
Yeah, I second the information here. I really didn't think I had posted enough to identify myself, and if I had kept my first name out of the picture it probably would have been a lot harder. Now I'm trying to decide if I start over with a new username or what. Decisions, decisions.
Hmm, so you CAN change your name that displays on your posts, although I'm assuming that the username doesn't change when you look at someone's profile so it's still there, but not as obvious at an initial glance. Now to post a bunch to various places so that my earlier stuff is hidden and it's more intimidating like Bracken_Joy's. I don't really want to start over, but this whole thing showed me I didn't want to have my name and location out there on every post. Won't matter so much after FIRE, but that's too many years away still.
When I look at your profile, all I see is FireHiker. Posts of yours that were quoted show FireHiker sometimes (https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/creepy-message/msg1660436/#msg1660436) and your old screenname other times (https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/traveling-while-young-vs-waiting/msg1452485/#msg1452485); I don't know why this seems inconsistent across the forum. Any post with your name just typed out, as above, still shows your old username. You could consider asking anyone who has your name in a post to edit that post, but I think it would be difficult to catch every instance.
You should PM a mod for a second opinion. It would be a pain, but it might be best to delete your profile and start over...
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Current update from the Scientific Creepers.
In general, what give away the most information is when we talk about jobs and employment (big ole plus for all the actual FIRE folks). Other than FireHiker [Herring changed this], we have not cracked anyone yet. If someone posts their actual first name, then it become easy to use people search tools and line up the dots from postings, but without a name as a starting point, it is actually rather hard to pinpoint someone even if you figure out personal details, where they live, and their employer.
So our current update is:
** Be very careful with real names
** Think about how much you post about work / employment
** It's pretty easy to figure out where people live from comments even if you don't name the city / town
I have not started SheLivesTheDream yet. And yes Braken_Joy, your size (of posts) is intimidating.
Yeah, I second the information here. I really didn't think I had posted enough to identify myself, and if I had kept my first name out of the picture it probably would have been a lot harder. Now I'm trying to decide if I start over with a new username or what. Decisions, decisions.
Hmm, so you CAN change your name that displays on your posts, although I'm assuming that the username doesn't change when you look at someone's profile so it's still there, but not as obvious at an initial glance. Now to post a bunch to various places so that my earlier stuff is hidden and it's more intimidating like Bracken_Joy's. I don't really want to start over, but this whole thing showed me I didn't want to have my name and location out there on every post. Won't matter so much after FIRE, but that's too many years away still.
When I look at your profile, all I see is FireHiker. Posts of yours that were quoted show FireHiker sometimes (https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/creepy-message/msg1660436/#msg1660436) and your old screenname other times (https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/traveling-while-young-vs-waiting/msg1452485/#msg1452485); I don't know why this seems inconsistent across the forum. Any post with your name just typed out, as above, still shows your old username. You could consider asking anyone who has your name in a post to edit that post, but I think it would be difficult to catch every instance.
You should PM a mod for a second opinion. It would be a pain, but it might be best to delete your profile and start over...
Thanks, Herring! I think I'm just not going to worry about the handful of instances where I was quoted before at this point. It wasn't much, and I'll just be more careful in the future. Knowing that my old username doesn't show up in my public profile is good; I had FinallyAwake check that also. The longer I am active here, the more buried any of those posts will be.
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So I was totally one of these creeps. On this board. And I am female.
There was a poster a few years back who gave just enough information for me to figure out that her husband played in one of my all time ever favorite bands. She never actually identified him by name or what the band was, but if you were a fan of this band it wouldn't have been hard to figure out. So I sent her a private message that 1. I have been a fan of her husband's music for over 20 years and 2. She might want to be careful about the info she was sharing if she was trying to remain anonymous. I was a well-intentioned creep, but I am sure it was still totally creepy to her.
O man, this sort of thing is turning me into a creep. 😱 This is a mere challenge for the research journalist that I once wanted to be. I wanted to see if I could figure this out. I spent only 30 minutes digging on the internet, and guess what, I found out. Never heard of the guy or the band, and next week I will probably have forgotten again (so don't worry about my creepiness), but it's troubling to see how easy it is.
I guess after this confession my name will probably be next on the list, some other creep may be trying to figure out my identity. 😳
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Got one!
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I realized today how easily one could figure me out. I use a service only available in a few places, have definitely mentioned my state before, and have interesting employment. Time to go back and edit some posts, I guess.
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I realized today how easily one could figure me out. I use a service only available in a few places, have definitely mentioned my state before, and have interesting employment. Time to go back and edit some posts, I guess.
Yeah, I did this, edited some of my old posts, I am easy to find because of my job. I never realized how easy it is to track someone down. Disturbing.
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Got one!
Ooh, how did you track them down?
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Hmm, so you CAN change your name that displays on your posts, although I'm assuming that the username doesn't change when you look at someone's profile so it's still there, but not as obvious at an initial glance.
This what I have done - changed some letters to numbers - not because I'm worried about creepy messages, but because I have used this name on other forums and know people on real life from those forums. It's enough to defeat google, anyway.
On the detective front, I managed to track down the mother and half-siblings of an adopted family member, whom she had never met, including pictures of them, mobile phone numbers etc. It's surprising how much information is available here in the UK - electoral roll, birth & marriage certificates etc. can all be searched without much effort.
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Another small update from the Scientific Creepers.
First we are taking a small break, its fun, but distracting to analyse people.
As far as I know, FinallyAwake and I are the two main searchers, if someone else is trying, please let us know so we can track the lessons learned.
As for people wanting to be anon:
FinallyAwake and I ran a quick trial. Her first attempt at me failed, but then I gave my first name and she had me in about 15 seconds. It was LinkedIn informtion from a Google search that flagged me. Job Title + Location + Name, and LinkedIn servers you up on a platter.
Also, I am finding that property record searches are the other easy way. A lot of people are discussing property, so if you have an idea of where someone lives and the date and price of a property (and some additional info like sq ft or age of home helps), the county assessors office sales records are an easy way (and it provides names!). I did figure someone out that way, and have another person that I could back-track that way (but in a much more populous county, so since I am the lazy creeper, I haven't bothered yet).
So be a little careful with property records. Date, price and county is all that is really needed. And though many people that don't name the town/city they live in provide enough other details to where it is possible to narrow down the locations. Hint: Braken_Joy mentioned shopping at Trader Joe's, there are only so many Trader Joe's outside of Portland, so the list of places to look was narrowed down.
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I've been following this thread, (hopefully in a non creepy way), and it's been fascinating...... I'm sure you could work out who I was by anecdote alone, if you happened to hear me tell a story I've also mentioned here. I'm sure there are a few stand out things you could google hidden in posts, but it would take ages to find them, and you may not know the significance of them. My name is actually really common, there are thousands of me, especially around my age, and people struggle to find me on linkedin with name and location alone.
Feel free to have a go at finding me, love to see what you find. I may do some detective work and see what I can find on others.
And to the bigger point, I'm not too into social media for these sort of reasons, but given how some people post absolutely everything about their lives online, I'm sure I'm going to be really boring compared to them. I do also wonder are we now raising the next generation where oversharing is normal? Taking open-ness to a new level.
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Hmm, so you CAN change your name that displays on your posts, although I'm assuming that the username doesn't change when you look at someone's profile so it's still there, but not as obvious at an initial glance.
This what I have done - changed some letters to numbers - not because I'm worried about creepy messages, but because I have used this name on other forums and know people on real life from those forums. It's enough to defeat google, anyway.
On the detective front, I managed to track down the mother and half-siblings of an adopted family member, whom she had never met, including pictures of them, mobile phone numbers etc. It's surprising how much information is available here in the UK - electoral roll, birth & marriage certificates etc. can all be searched without much effort.
Yeah - I've found your running PB's, some of which are might impressive. ...... Then I got bored. I do not make a good stalker...
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Yeah - I've found your running PB's, some of which are might impressive. ...... Then I got bored. I do not make a good stalker...
Impressive for someone 20 years older than me, perhaps. No real detective skills needed to find me, though, I don't expect anyone to bother to look. Running times seem like a pretty good way to stalk people. From those, it's easy enough to get to my job, home address, social media profiles, whereabouts in south america we've been for the past month etc etc.
In your case, you've posted about doing a particular event last year and how many marathons you've done, a PB figure, your age and a rough location. I reckon that would be enough to identify you, given a sufficiently determined stalker - particularly if they scraped some race results data and scripted it.
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You could always occasionally make some posts that claim you live in a different city or work in a different field so someone who was searching your posts would find conflicting information and not know which clues to follow. I'm sure you could find threads to post in where doing this wouldn't derail the thread or make it less valuable.
I thought I found you, then this turned up. ;-)
That's what a lot of performers I work with in Las Vegas do.
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
Me! <squirming in chair with hand raised as high as it can go>
If someone doesn't mind. I suspect that I'm screwed though - I suspect that I've been careless enough you could actually ID me.
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
Me! <squirming in chair with hand raised as high as it can go>
If someone doesn't mind. I suspect that I'm screwed though - I suspect that I've been careless enough you could actually ID me.
Ok, we'll add you to the list! So far, we have found everyone that we've worked on.
We still have shelivesthedream, maryw, & moonwaves. Waiting on RWD to confirm my "hit". Am I missing anyone?
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Waiting on RWD to confirm my "hit".
I am impressed.
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Ok, we'll add you to the list! So far, we have found everyone that we've worked on.
We still have shelivesthedream, maryw, & moonwaves. Waiting on RWD to confirm my "hit". Am I missing anyone?
Impressive!
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All you guys and your sleuthiness (is so a word!) have properly creepered (is also so a word!) me out so that I deleted many of my posts. Not as many this time fortunately. Due to Stalky McStalkerbuttface I was considering deactivating my user name and starting fresh with a new one so might do that soon since I have a new life beginning anyways. This thread has been fun and enlightening though.
Oh, this makes me sad. And glad that you stood up to that creep. I'm relieved you're okay, and using this incident to move on to your next adventure. I hope that you find your next patch of paradise quickly and easily.
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All you guys and your sleuthiness (is so a word!) have properly creepered (is also so a word!) me out so that I deleted many of my posts. Not as many this time fortunately. Due to Stalky McStalkerbuttface I was considering deactivating my user name and starting fresh with a new one so might do that soon since I have a new life beginning anyways. This thread has been fun and enlightening though.
I'm sad, and will miss you. Best of luck with your travels and life! Pls PM me if you ever want to take me up on that invitation I threw out a while back.
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Ok, we'll add you to the list! So far, we have found everyone that we've worked on.
We still have shelivesthedream, maryw, & moonwaves. Waiting on RWD to confirm my "hit". Am I missing anyone?
Not everyone - Cali Nonya found some correct info about me (i.e. where I work), but did not identify my real name.
Sorry to see you go, spartana!
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Not going anywhere guys just going to change names to protect the (not so) innocent ;-). After sleuthing myself it was scary to see what I found (which was everything!). So by deleting posts, which sadly doesn't delete them from Google just makes them harder to find, and changing my name and posting less identifying inform it'll be easier to be a bit more anonymous.
I could be wrong, but I thought that Google re-looks at things as time goes by, so what may show up in its searches now won't necessarily do in the next day/month/year. However, Internet Archive might cause you trouble there.
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I feel like I haven't been as careful as I should be, certain details in particular. Feel free to add me to your hitlist, creepers! I'm really curious about this...
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Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating.
So ...
Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge? Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other? This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.
Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
Well I already know that i am easily identified lol... at least by people in Canada... however I do have a rather easy to identify job
PM Trudeau...is that you? :)
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Now I'm curious about this.. anyone want to look me up?
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Oooh, add me to the sleuthy list! I suspect I'll be pretty easy, but I have one thing in my favor that might trip you up a bit.
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Ah I'm interested! I'm pretty sure I would be relatively easy to sleuth. Not because of job/location necessarily (unless you figure out my name), but for other reasons (Now I can't be giving you stalkers a leg up, can I?!) I can think of two specific posts in particular that give big clues, if you know how to use them. And... just figured out how to make the one post less useful, but with enough jumps, you may still have a way to make it useful.
Sent you a PM with a guess. Could be completely off target.
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Oh go ahead, cyber stalk me. I am sure you can link a bunch of my online personas but curious to see if you can get more than my first name. Probably won't delete anything much even if you do because I am close enough to retirement that it doesn't matter but still very curious how easy it would be.
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Now I'm curious about this.. anyone want to look me up?
You were too easy.
Another one found!
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I haven't edited my past yet, so have a go! I'm really curious as to how long it will take.
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I'm curious... if anyone needs something to do. have at it.
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Lol. Note to self. If you are overly analytical and tend to deconstruct data out of habit. Don't share. People may find you creepy.
I need to remember this.
(But on the plus side, it has been proven that the threshold of behaviors to be considered 'creepy' when applied to females is much higher than for males, so I'm probably okay).
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-ooze/201505/how-we-decide-whos-creepy
Yeah, creepy is very subjective... 50 Shades of Grey is a horror movie if the guy is missing teeth, works at a gas station, and lives in a trailer park... :D
Fixed that for you.
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I'm afraid I might be easy to id. Go ahead. If can id, please pm and also most problematic posts. Getting paranoid!
However I do have to say as a woman and knowing what has happened to friends, the spike in stalking behaviors happens if you have your name and face printed in a newspaper, and you are young and or pretty. Then you even get mail from guys in prison. I doubt anything I've posted on here would prompt stalker like behavior, but be curious to know how much I am out there.
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I would also like to be benignly creeped. :)
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Got a PM from FinallyAwake... saying I am the first sleuthing failure! Only salient details that could pin me down were that I live near a tube station in London about 30 minutes from the centre and within walking distance of a Screwfix :)
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Got a PM from FinallyAwake... saying I am the first sleuthing failure! Only salient details that could pin me down were that I live near a tube station in London about 30 minutes from the centre and within walking distance of a Screwfix :)
I can see how being in one of the biggest cities on earth would hamper progress! Congrats on being the first failure!
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Got a PM from FinallyAwake... saying I am the first sleuthing failure! Only salient details that could pin me down were that I live near a tube station in London about 30 minutes from the centre and within walking distance of a Screwfix :)
I can see how being in one of the biggest cities on earth would hamper progress! Congrats on being the first failure!
That's why I was always a bit cagey about OldCity that I recently moved from, but am now declaring my current city with wild abandon. LOOOOOOOOONNNNDDDDOOOOOOOOOONNNNN!
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Got a PM from FinallyAwake... saying I am the first sleuthing failure! Only salient details that could pin me down were that I live near a tube station in London about 30 minutes from the centre and within walking distance of a Screwfix :)
Huzzah, join the club!
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I'd volunteer myself for search, but my location and profile pic don't leave much to hide...lol
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Got a PM from FinallyAwake... saying I am the first sleuthing failure! Only salient details that could pin me down were that I live near a tube station in London about 30 minutes from the centre and within walking distance of a Screwfix :)
Huzzah, join the club!
OK, feeling much better now. I was starting to fear that everyone was findable and was thinking of leaving the forum forever. Was getting seriously paranoid the last few days.
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Yeah - I've found your running PB's, some of which are might impressive. ...... Then I got bored. I do not make a good stalker...
Impressive for someone 20 years older than me, perhaps. No real detective skills needed to find me, though, I don't expect anyone to bother to look. Running times seem like a pretty good way to stalk people. From those, it's easy enough to get to my job, home address, social media profiles, whereabouts in south america we've been for the past month etc etc.
In your case, you've posted about doing a particular event last year and how many marathons you've done, a PB figure, your age and a rough location. I reckon that would be enough to identify you, given a sufficiently determined stalker - particularly if they scraped some race results data and scripted it.
Yeah, one thing I dislike about running is the publication of result! You are right, someone could find me if they tried hard enough and put all the pieces together, like in an old detective film......but when they actually found me, they'd be so disappointed!
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Got a PM from FinallyAwake... saying I am the first sleuthing failure! Only salient details that could pin me down were that I live near a tube station in London about 30 minutes from the centre and within walking distance of a Screwfix :)
Huzzah, join the club!
OK, feeling much better now. I was starting to fear that everyone was findable and was thinking of leaving the forum forever. Was getting seriously paranoid the last few days.
I was going to keep mum, but if it will make you feel even mo' better...I know one of the two super sleuths on this case, so I PM'd the other. Thus far, they have had no luck finding me, despite using very creative thinking. I'm sure it's just a matter of time...
I've been thinking that one point of vulnerability is the geo-location data that's available if you upload images here that were taken from your phone. If you're done so and you're worried about someone finding you, that's the first thing I'd remove.
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Geo locational data! Very good! I'm learning so much! Lol
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I read something recently that suggested scrubbing the metadata from your photos. Anyone have any idea how to do that? Would the geo locational data be part of what the meta data is? Should go and google that now.
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I read something recently that suggested scrubbing the metadata from your photos. Anyone have any idea how to do that? Would the geo locational data be part of what the meta data is? Should go and google that now.
It is called EXIF data. Look at option 1 (if on Windows) from this link: http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/3-ways-to-remove-exif-metadata-from-photos-and-why-you-might-want-to/
I could not find any pictures with GPS data on my PC to confirm this. From what I remember from a few years ago, this sounds right.
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I'm another failure (yeah!). Thank you so much to Finally Awake for trying.
I knew I had a lot of personal info in my hundreds of posts. And then there is my (now former) screen name. I hoped that my saving grace was that I have a very low profile on-line in my name (never any LinkedIn or facebook accounts). If I were dating or employed I never would have posted so much personal info to begin with. Anyone who knows me could easily confirm that it's me, however.
'
For others info, it's amazing what Finally Awake was able to correlate. In one posting I mentioned my neighborhood and in another that I had solar. He (she?) went to google earth to search for solar houses in the mentioned neighborhood. Fortunately wasn't able to figure out me. All very scary though.
edited to add: former screen name
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In light of this, I've changed my user name to something a bit more opaque. I'll also delete postings that identify my exact neighborhood.
Thanks again Finally Awake. Interesting exercise.
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In light of this, I've changed my user name to something a bit more opaque. I'll also delete postings that identify my exact neighborhood.
Thanks again Finally Awake. Interesting exercise.
Good choice, Catbert. I noticed your previous name and it did seem a bit revealing. (And I'm not being creepy here...it's just that I noticed it pre-change because you pointed it out in your post above.)
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Note this this is a story based entirely on anonymous sources so take it with a huge grain of salt, but this is an interesting article about being able to identify anonymous people online not through any personal details they let slip, but by conducting computational analysis of their writing styles and comparing it to millions or billions of writing samples (emails blogs posts etc) with known authors to ID non-anonymous writing by the same poster.
https://medium.com/@amuse/how-the-nsa-caught-satoshi-nakamoto-868affcef595
If I had more time and access to a super computer it'd be fun to try to reconstruct this algorithm myself and see if it'd actually work.
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I haven't posted much, but I'm volunteering for the forum sleuths to see what they can find out about me with limited posting and user name.
I'm frequently on this forum but don't post much due to privacy fears. I've love to participate more though.
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I haven't posted much, but I'm volunteering for the forum sleuths to see what they can find out about me with limited posting and user name.
I'm frequently on this forum but don't post much due to privacy fears. I've love to participate more though.
I'll have a look and PM you.
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I haven't posted much, but I'm volunteering for the forum sleuths to see what they can find out about me with limited posting and user name.
I'm frequently on this forum but don't post much due to privacy fears. I've love to participate more though.
I'll have a look and PM you.
Nope, you are safe, a few details in there like job title, but not enough to work with to get a search going.
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I haven't posted much, but I'm volunteering for the forum sleuths to see what they can find out about me with limited posting and user name.
I'm frequently on this forum but don't post much due to privacy fears. I've love to participate more though.
I'll have a look and PM you.
Nope, you are safe, a few details in there like job title, but not enough to work with to get a search going.
Thank you! Maybe I can get my courage up more to post, but only general stuff of course.
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Come at me. Bonus points if you get my full legal name, that will be very impressive.
You can't participate if I have met you in real life.
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Come at me. Bonus points if you get my full legal name, that will be very impressive.
You can't participate if I have met you in real life.
Paul der Krake
Washington State
Age 9
I always suspected Paul was a prodigy!
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You can't participate if I have met you in real life.
Whereas I will only be impressed if someone I know in real life tells me who I am on the MMM forums :)
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OK, my curiosity has gotten the better of me and I'm wondering if I've left too many breadcrumbs here and there. I'll volunteer, if you cyber sleuths would care to have a go.
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This is fascinating and creepy. Posting to follow.
Also, feel free to have a go, sleuths. I've been inspired to google my username.
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Sounds fun. Sure give me a PM if you can.
I see a few on here that I thought gave too many details before.
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In general us Sleuths are a bit busy with other things at the moment. But I might have a go at one or two next week.
If there are any other people interested in the sleuthing side, PM FinallyAwake and myself since the point to this was to track what tid-bits of information were the give-aways.