Author Topic: Creepy message ...UPDATED!  (Read 25314 times)

prognastat

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 797
  • Location: Texas
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #50 on: August 08, 2017, 09:17:27 AM »
I do think that online interaction in general encourages stalker-ish behavior; it's easy to think that you "know" someone when the relationship is totally one-sided; i.e. you read their posts regularly and don't comment or interact.  I've seen this awkwardness come up with people who are FB friends but meet IRL infrequently.  One of them will trot out all of the events the other has shared in the past six months -- "Hey, how's that puppy doing, and did your daughter really flunk out of junior college?"  You can see the other person trying to remember, who are you and where did we meet again?  And how do I run away now?

I have this problem IRL because I remember everything. In fact, at the mother's day paper that my kid filled out this year where they answer questions, one was a line of "my mom always forgets <fill in blank>" and my kid responded "my mom forgets nothing." My boss refers to me as "her memory", because I'll remember obscure details from months ago. I can meet someone once and remember everything, and I've had it backfire in the past where the person looks at me like I'm a creepy stalker. Nope, if you tell me something once, I will remember it whether I want to or not. It is both a blessing and a curse (just ask my husband...). I've learned to keep my mouth shut more IRL until I know a person well enough for them not to be creeped out about my memory now.

I am so very jealous jillinsandiego!!! I wish I had that ability... instead of having lost my 'recent' memory after I had my baby ...lol... I'm guessing it is just because I now have to remember everything for another human being lol...
I used to remember WAYYY more that I do now ...

I'm actually quite the opposite and forget many things, but am quite satisfied with this. It generally leads to me having much less stress in my life.

RelaxedGal

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 241
  • Age: 39
  • Location: 495 corridor, Massachusetts, USA
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #51 on: August 08, 2017, 09:29:15 AM »
Lol.  Note to self.  If you are overly analytical and tend to deconstruct data out of habit.  Don't share.  People may find you creepy. 
I need to remember this.
Me too.  I was debating on contacting a guy on Google+ last night because "Hey, you work on one side of my office and live on the other and drive the same car as me.  We have so much in common, we should meet IRL!"  I had a feeling I'd seen him here too.  But I didn't contact because I had a feeling that would be creepy.  Apparently Yes, creepy.  Point taken.

FireHiker

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 420
  • Location: So Cal
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #52 on: August 08, 2017, 09:41:07 AM »
Yeah, I think I would have a lot less stress if I could forget at least SOME things!

Sweetlife I remember the post-kid fog (my youngest is 5 now); if you used to have a stellar memory, it will come back once you're sleeping again, to a large extent. I found it really frustrating too. My husband said it made me more "normal". But, with kids, you have to forget SOME things, or there's no way anyone would have more than one. Maybe that wouldn't be SO bad these days...

Cali Nonya

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 423
  • Location: California
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #53 on: August 08, 2017, 09:50:49 AM »
I do think that online interaction in general encourages stalker-ish behavior; it's easy to think that you "know" someone when the relationship is totally one-sided; i.e. you read their posts regularly and don't comment or interact.  I've seen this awkwardness come up with people who are FB friends but meet IRL infrequently.  One of them will trot out all of the events the other has shared in the past six months -- "Hey, how's that puppy doing, and did your daughter really flunk out of junior college?"  You can see the other person trying to remember, who are you and where did we meet again?  And how do I run away now?

I have this problem IRL because I remember everything. In fact, at the mother's day paper that my kid filled out this year where they answer questions, one was a line of "my mom always forgets <fill in blank>" and my kid responded "my mom forgets nothing." My boss refers to me as "her memory", because I'll remember obscure details from months ago. I can meet someone once and remember everything, and I've had it backfire in the past where the person looks at me like I'm a creepy stalker. Nope, if you tell me something once, I will remember it whether I want to or not. It is both a blessing and a curse (just ask my husband...). I've learned to keep my mouth shut more IRL until I know a person well enough for them not to be creeped out about my memory now.

I am so very jealous jillinsandiego!!! I wish I had that ability... instead of having lost my 'recent' memory after I had my baby ...lol... I'm guessing it is just because I now have to remember everything for another human being lol...
I used to remember WAYYY more that I do now ...

I'm actually quite the opposite and forget many things, but am quite satisfied with this. It generally leads to me having much less stress in my life.

I'm more like Jill, a very encyclopedic memory; not so much for inter-personal facts, but just LOTS of random facts.  And I learned a long time ago that can really creep people out.  But if you are self aware enough to realize you have a tendency towards creepy, you can be self-aware enough to study creepiness and de-creepify yourself.  I think I have been mostly successful.

prognastat

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 797
  • Location: Texas
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #54 on: August 08, 2017, 10:04:35 AM »
I do think that online interaction in general encourages stalker-ish behavior; it's easy to think that you "know" someone when the relationship is totally one-sided; i.e. you read their posts regularly and don't comment or interact.  I've seen this awkwardness come up with people who are FB friends but meet IRL infrequently.  One of them will trot out all of the events the other has shared in the past six months -- "Hey, how's that puppy doing, and did your daughter really flunk out of junior college?"  You can see the other person trying to remember, who are you and where did we meet again?  And how do I run away now?

I have this problem IRL because I remember everything. In fact, at the mother's day paper that my kid filled out this year where they answer questions, one was a line of "my mom always forgets <fill in blank>" and my kid responded "my mom forgets nothing." My boss refers to me as "her memory", because I'll remember obscure details from months ago. I can meet someone once and remember everything, and I've had it backfire in the past where the person looks at me like I'm a creepy stalker. Nope, if you tell me something once, I will remember it whether I want to or not. It is both a blessing and a curse (just ask my husband...). I've learned to keep my mouth shut more IRL until I know a person well enough for them not to be creeped out about my memory now.

I am so very jealous jillinsandiego!!! I wish I had that ability... instead of having lost my 'recent' memory after I had my baby ...lol... I'm guessing it is just because I now have to remember everything for another human being lol...
I used to remember WAYYY more that I do now ...

I'm actually quite the opposite and forget many things, but am quite satisfied with this. It generally leads to me having much less stress in my life.

I'm more like Jill, a very encyclopedic memory; not so much for inter-personal facts, but just LOTS of random facts.  And I learned a long time ago that can really creep people out.  But if you are self aware enough to realize you have a tendency towards creepy, you can be self-aware enough to study creepiness and de-creepify yourself.  I think I have been mostly successful.

I remember plenty of facts, but experiences are things I am more likely forget either most of or sometimes all of. It's kind of like a blurring, I remember the general gist of what happened, but the details are gone.

rockstache

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2873
  • Age: 2013
  • Location: Northeast
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #55 on: August 08, 2017, 10:08:15 AM »
Holy crap Spartana, I remember when you were going through that but I had no idea it was that freaky. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

Once I realized that I was going to start interacting with some of the people here IRL, I went back and deleted a lot of my potentially identifying info or things that I wouldn't want people to know. I guess someone could figure me out, but I hope not.

Reynold

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 226
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #56 on: August 08, 2017, 12:25:22 PM »
Me too.  I was debating on contacting a guy on Google+ last night because "Hey, you work on one side of my office and live on the other and drive the same car as me.  We have so much in common, we should meet IRL!"  I had a feeling I'd seen him here too.  But I didn't contact because I had a feeling that would be creepy.  Apparently Yes, creepy.  Point taken.

While I don't claim to speak for all guys, I don't think I would find that creepy, it would just seem like an interesting reason to meet.  I think many more women would find that creepy, for reasons already discussed.  If you are already connected on Google+, you have some kind of relationship, if only through friends, right?  I don't use social media much, so I'm not sure.

rothwem

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 323
  • Location: Raleigh, NC
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #57 on: August 08, 2017, 02:06:07 PM »
Lol.  Note to self.  If you are overly analytical and tend to deconstruct data out of habit.  Don't share.  People may find you creepy. 
I need to remember this.
Me too.  I was debating on contacting a guy on Google+ last night because "Hey, you work on one side of my office and live on the other and drive the same car as me.  We have so much in common, we should meet IRL!"  I had a feeling I'd seen him here too.  But I didn't contact because I had a feeling that would be creepy.  Apparently Yes, creepy.  Point taken.

I don't think I would find it creepy, but I would definitely think you were hitting on me.  Most guys, depending on their relationship status, would probably do a quick, "hot or not?" and agree or disagree to meet up based on that evaluation.  I think very few guys would find that creepy. 

Now if the genders were reversed, it definitely would be creepy. 

SweetLife

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 325
  • Location: Ontario
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #58 on: August 08, 2017, 03:12:30 PM »
Yeah, I think I would have a lot less stress if I could forget at least SOME things!

Sweetlife I remember the post-kid fog (my youngest is 5 now); if you used to have a stellar memory, it will come back once you're sleeping again, to a large extent. I found it really frustrating too. My husband said it made me more "normal". But, with kids, you have to forget SOME things, or there's no way anyone would have more than one. Maybe that wouldn't be SO bad these days...

I'm still waiting for the memory to return lol... he's 3 now and I sleep wonderfully - or maybe its because I splurged and bought a new mattress and box spring... 70% 0ff but like sleeping on a cloud and worth every penny!
Typos will happen, corrections appreciated, or just ignore ;)

FireHiker

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 420
  • Location: So Cal
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #59 on: August 08, 2017, 04:44:59 PM »
Well, you have a couple more years until you're out of survival mode, right? I feel like we're finally almost there with the younger ones being 5 and 7. Some things are really just never the same post-kid though; can vary I'm sure. :)

Kalergie

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 151
  • Location: Middle East
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #60 on: August 09, 2017, 03:30:35 PM »
Makes you wonder, how do MMM, GCC and JLCollins etc keep their privacy? they share so much of their lifes, which is helping so many people. But it's a serious danger for them.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2017, 04:02:24 PM by Kalergie »

Miss Piggy

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 907
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #61 on: August 09, 2017, 03:39:55 PM »
This thread is creeping me out.

Spartana, good luck in September and beyond.

ptgearguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 137
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #62 on: August 09, 2017, 06:30:49 PM »
I deal with crazy people everyday at work as a physiotherapist. Sometimes I have to be a bit of an ass with regards to abilities for return to work and such. I also don't think I am very interesting from a stalkers perspective. The joys of being a boring, average looking male haha.

There are definitely creepy women out there. They usually have many cats.

gerardc

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 402
  • Age: 33
  • Location: SF bay area
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #63 on: August 09, 2017, 07:55:19 PM »
Any tips on what info to avoid revealing, that is not obvious?

Is it mostly photos, cities, companies... ?

With This Herring

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1097
  • Location: New York STATE, not city
  • TANSTAAFL!
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #64 on: August 09, 2017, 08:22:22 PM »
Any tips on what info to avoid revealing, that is not obvious?

Is it mostly photos, cities, companies... ?

I haven't dealt with this much, but I think the main goal is not to give enough info so that you can be uniquely identified.  Feel free to change/generalize details in your stories.  You don't need to say "my sister," you can say "my relative."  Don't give real names.  If your coworker is named Josh, use a fake name such as Alphonse when talking about him.  If you are referring to an event that might show up in the newspaper, don't give the actual date of the event.

For example, if Member were to have in his profile that he lives in the SF Bay area and to start talking about his wonderful grandmother that he visited after work every day who passed away on Tuesday, a creepy creeper could come along and check out the SF Bay area obituaries for deaths August 8th of women old enough to have grandchildren, then track down the names of those grandchildren, then cross-reference that list with the profession that Member mentions in another thread.  Again, this is just an example.  Someone trying to be a creepy creeper probably has better methods figured out.  Apparently, it is not difficult to identify people gradually through eliminating people who don't fit what someone has posted.
Because your toaster got hacked because you tried to watch porn on your blender.

6-year CPA currently on hiatus.  Botched this.  Working again. 
Go soak your beans.  You know you keep forgetting.

Cali Nonya

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 423
  • Location: California
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #65 on: August 10, 2017, 10:00:52 AM »
Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating. 
So ...

Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge?  Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other?  This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.

Maybe?
(or too creepy?)

Raenia

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 378
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #66 on: August 10, 2017, 10:24:33 AM »
Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating. 
So ...

Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge?  Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other?  This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.

Maybe?
(or too creepy?)

I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts.  If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)

Roots&Wings

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 847
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #67 on: August 10, 2017, 10:33:32 AM »
Haha, I'm definitely going back to old posts and deleting some. I can think of 1 off the top of my head that would identify specific location.

The few people I've met IRL from the forum have all been very nice and "normal" (in the Mustachian sense), but guess it just takes the one creep to ruin things. So sorry what you've had to deal with IRL Spartana (and Sol), and Sweet Life with the creepy messages.

Cali Nonya

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 423
  • Location: California
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #68 on: August 10, 2017, 11:33:46 AM »
Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating. 
So ...

Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge?  Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other?  This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.

Maybe?
(or too creepy?)

I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts.  If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)

Feel free to scrutinize me also.  :)

FireHiker

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 420
  • Location: So Cal
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #69 on: August 10, 2017, 11:44:03 AM »
Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating. 
So ...

Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge?  Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other?  This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.

Maybe?
(or too creepy?)

I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts.  If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)

Feel free to scrutinize me also.  :)

I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.

Cali Nonya

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 423
  • Location: California
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #70 on: August 10, 2017, 12:22:12 PM »
Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating. 
So ...

Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge?  Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other?  This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.

Maybe?
(or too creepy?)

I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts.  If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)

Feel free to scrutinize me also.  :)

I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.

I think I'm close to figuring out Raenia, but I really need to not work on this till later when I am not on company time.
It's actually quite fun.

RelaxedGal

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 241
  • Age: 39
  • Location: 495 corridor, Massachusetts, USA
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #71 on: August 10, 2017, 01:24:26 PM »
Holy crap!  I decided to stalk myself.  I went through my last 25 posts here, then thought to cross reference with twitter (good trick for finding someone, people tend to re-use names) and BAM, found myself.  From there found the town I live in (I had retweeted something from the schools) and between that and giving my first name on a Frugalwoods blog comment where I explicitly stated my MMM forum name, it took a couple of tries but I found my last name.  From there my actual address.  And Linked In profile, which has my work location.  About an hour of company time wasted, whoops.

Lesson learned: I need to take my Twitter account private, and never post anything to associate internet aliases.

I'm not sure that I'll delete old posts here because there wasn't quite enough to pinpoint me in the 25 I read, but there might be.

FinallyAwake

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 62
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #72 on: August 10, 2017, 02:10:40 PM »

Yeah, creepy is very subjective... 50 Shades of Grey is a horror movie if the guy is missing teeth, works at a gas station, and lives in a trailer park... :D

This made me LOL!  :)

So true!  And Johnny Depp is a greasy haired druggie......

FinallyAwake

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 62
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #73 on: August 10, 2017, 02:23:06 PM »
Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating. 
So ...

Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge?  Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other?  This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.

Maybe?
(or too creepy?)

I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts.  If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)

Feel free to scrutinize me also.  :)

I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.

I think I'm close to figuring out Raenia, but I really need to not work on this till later when I am not on company time.
It's actually quite fun.

Oh my gosh- this is like my dream job!  I am really good at filling in details on people, jobs that recruiters contact us about, etc.  I've seriously researched jobs for private internet sleuth, etc, but can't find anything that fits. 

I'm gonna research JillinSanDiego; @jillinsandiego, I'll PM you if I can figure it out!  :)

FireHiker

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 420
  • Location: So Cal
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #74 on: August 10, 2017, 02:56:59 PM »
Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating. 
So ...

Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge?  Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other?  This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.

Maybe?
(or too creepy?)

I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts.  If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)

Feel free to scrutinize me also.  :)

I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.

I think I'm close to figuring out Raenia, but I really need to not work on this till later when I am not on company time.
It's actually quite fun.

Oh my gosh- this is like my dream job!  I am really good at filling in details on people, jobs that recruiters contact us about, etc.  I've seriously researched jobs for private internet sleuth, etc, but can't find anything that fits. 

I'm gonna research JillinSanDiego; @jillinsandiego, I'll PM you if I can figure it out!  :)

okay, curious to see your results!

FinallyAwake

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 62
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #75 on: August 10, 2017, 03:13:32 PM »
Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating. 
So ...

Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge?  Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other?  This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.

Maybe?
(or too creepy?)

I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts.  If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)

Feel free to scrutinize me also.  :)

I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.

I think I'm close to figuring out Raenia, but I really need to not work on this till later when I am not on company time.
It's actually quite fun.

Oh my gosh- this is like my dream job!  I am really good at filling in details on people, jobs that recruiters contact us about, etc.  I've seriously researched jobs for private internet sleuth, etc, but can't find anything that fits. 

I'm gonna research JillinSanDiego; @jillinsandiego, I'll PM you if I can figure it out!  :)

okay, curious to see your results!

Sending you a PM......   :)  :)  :)

Bracken_Joy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7029
  • Location: Oregon
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #76 on: August 10, 2017, 04:13:09 PM »
I think OP has set off a ripple effect of people deleting posts and journals, lol.
My journal: Hiding in the Ferns
Like babies? Have kids? Want to chat about Babies and Pregnancy/Infertility? Group Journal Here.

FinallyAwake

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 62
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #77 on: August 10, 2017, 04:24:15 PM »
Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating. 
So ...

Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge?  Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other?  This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.

Maybe?
(or too creepy?)

I was actually just considering asking someone to look at my posts and see if I've overshared and should maybe consider removing some details from old posts.  If you wanted to do this and pm me your 'guesses,' and the info that let you find it, I'd be cool with that. :)

Feel free to scrutinize me also.  :)

I'm not real prolific here, but I have no objections if you want to scrutinize me. I'm actually kind of curious.

I think I'm close to figuring out Raenia, but I really need to not work on this till later when I am not on company time.
It's actually quite fun.

Oh my gosh- this is like my dream job!  I am really good at filling in details on people, jobs that recruiters contact us about, etc.  I've seriously researched jobs for private internet sleuth, etc, but can't find anything that fits. 

I'm gonna research JillinSanDiego; @jillinsandiego, I'll PM you if I can figure it out!  :)

okay, curious to see your results!

Sending you a PM......   :)  :)  :)

Ok, who's next?  I'll work on Cali Nonya tomorrow when I have the time, if no one else has started the research..... 

Frankly though, this is kind of creeping me out, too, and I usually take steps to hide my own identify (give false info when it doesn't matter, etc).  For the record though, I will fully admit that my profile picture is DEFINITELY a self portrait.  :) 

FireHiker

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 420
  • Location: So Cal
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #78 on: August 10, 2017, 04:26:46 PM »
This has been really interesting and eye opening. Thanks for the PM, FinallyAwake! At least I don't have a journal to delete, but maybe I ought to change my username to make it a tad bit harder for a real, actual creepy stalker. :)

Bracken_Joy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7029
  • Location: Oregon
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #79 on: August 10, 2017, 04:49:08 PM »
I think OP has set off a ripple effect of people deleting posts and journals, lol.
and all ya all thought I was crazy back when I deleted many of my posts. I was VERY open about myself (and some other posters who knew me and my real/unusual name occasionally slipped up and used it here) that really anyone could find me.  I did have lots of posts over the years and sad to see them go. Bristles ha! Walrus stache bee-itches ;-)

Oh, I absolutely didn't think you were crazy. This is actually my second account. My first I never posted many times (like 50? maybe?) but got paranoid and deleted it and started again.
My journal: Hiding in the Ferns
Like babies? Have kids? Want to chat about Babies and Pregnancy/Infertility? Group Journal Here.

Optimiser

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 397
  • Age: 34
  • Location: PNW
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #80 on: August 10, 2017, 05:21:33 PM »
Ok, who's next?  I'll work on Cali Nonya tomorrow when I have the time, if no one else has started the research..... 

Frankly though, this is kind of creeping me out, too, and I usually take steps to hide my own identify (give false info when it doesn't matter, etc).  For the record though, I will fully admit that my profile picture is DEFINITELY a self portrait.  :)

If you want, feel free to look at mine. I'm curious how badly I have done on keeping things private.

FinallyAwake

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 62
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #81 on: August 10, 2017, 09:22:08 PM »
Ok, who's next?  I'll work on Cali Nonya tomorrow when I have the time, if no one else has started the research..... 

Frankly though, this is kind of creeping me out, too, and I usually take steps to hide my own identify (give false info when it doesn't matter, etc).  For the record though, I will fully admit that my profile picture is DEFINITELY a self portrait.  :)

If you want, feel free to look at mine. I'm curious how badly I have done on keeping things private.

I'll add you to my list!  :)  Probably won't get to it until this weekend.  I'll PM you when I've finished.


Dicey

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5981
  • Age: 59
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #82 on: August 10, 2017, 10:23:46 PM »
Okay, I'm sorry, I really am a nerd, and I find all this really fascinating. 
So ...

Who's up for the scientific creeper challenge?  Are there a few people who wouldn't mind being scrutinized by us relatively harmless fellow posters and we can see who can 'out' each other?  This might be interesting if a few people would participate and we can identify what information actually does let someone figure out who you are IRL.

Maybe?
(or too creepy?)
Wanna try me? Hahaha, just kidding! (Inside joke + I know I'd be an easy target.) Just the fact that I have revealed (okay, bragged) multiple times that DH walks to work eliminates 99.998765% of the rest of the Bay Area population.

A friend of mine calls me Inch High Private Eye, but I don't have nearly your level of skills or brainpower. I do think it would be an awesome job, full of challenge and mystery, 'cause everyone has something that could be incriminating if looked at from the right (or wrong) angle, right? I'm not sure about the private sector (oh, c'mon, there must be jobs like this), but I am positive such jobs exist in the military. Alas, I'm sure I'm too old and out of shape to get through boot camp. I'll have to settle for FIRE instead.

Sparty, if I haven't said this before, I am sorry as hell that some creep tracked you down. I hope your house sells for a good price and that you find a nice, happy new place to live.
I did it! I have a journal!
A Lot Like This
And hell yes, I am still moving confidently in the direction of my dreams...

shelivesthedream

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2164
  • Location: UK
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #83 on: August 11, 2017, 01:37:21 AM »
I'm up for being added to the detectives list. I've felt a few times like I share too much! I'll even give y'all a clue: I go by both my maiden and my married surnames. Do PM me if you have a guess!

Trifele

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 681
  • Location: US
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #84 on: August 11, 2017, 03:53:02 AM »
OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am <this close> to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that?   I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'?  Thanks!

slappy

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 410
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #85 on: August 11, 2017, 04:26:41 AM »
OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am <this close> to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that?   I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'?  Thanks!

If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic  I'll be a link to "my posts"

Trifele

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 681
  • Location: US
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #86 on: August 11, 2017, 04:28:01 AM »
OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am <this close> to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that?   I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'?  Thanks!

If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic  I'll be a link to "my posts"

Thanks!

Bracken_Joy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7029
  • Location: Oregon
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #87 on: August 11, 2017, 07:50:00 AM »
OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am <this close> to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that?   I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'?  Thanks!

If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic  I'll be a link to "my posts"

Thanks!

Creepily enough, you can do this for anyone else, too, and look at all their posts.
My journal: Hiding in the Ferns
Like babies? Have kids? Want to chat about Babies and Pregnancy/Infertility? Group Journal Here.

Chippewa

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3516
  • Age: 45
  • Location: Tatooine
    • stupid debt
Creepy message ...
« Reply #88 on: August 11, 2017, 08:01:06 AM »
OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am &lt;this close&gt; to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that?   I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'?  Thanks!

If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic  I'll be a link to "my posts"

Thanks!

Creepily enough, you can do this for anyone else, too, and look at all their posts.

Yup. It's available on everyone's profile for others to see.
blog :: stupid debt.  And I have a journal, y'all just think I am going to delete it

partgypsy

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1407
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #89 on: August 11, 2017, 08:34:39 AM »
Ya know, I have thought about this before. I have way too much info out there, but there is not much I can do at this point, other than change my name, move and start over again. I used to exchange zines, so I had my home address so people could correspond. I can enter my name on the internet, and in 30 seconds find my address (property taxes). If someone did want to do me harm or locate me, not much I can do about it. My family has already had a stalker (target primarily my brother, but my sister and me to a lesser extent) to the extent of changing phone numbers multiple times, restraining orders, arrests, and the person being institutionalized. Basically I'm relying on the hope, assumption that that most people are not assh*les. I'm promoting a book (very small press), and a bookshop wanted a presskit, including a head shot. I did eventually provide one, but I don't like stuff like that.   

prognastat

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 797
  • Location: Texas
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #90 on: August 11, 2017, 09:33:28 AM »
OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am &lt;this close&gt; to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that?   I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'?  Thanks!

If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic  I'll be a link to "my posts"

Thanks!

Creepily enough, you can do this for anyone else, too, and look at all their posts.

Yup. It's available on everyone's profile for others to see.

Can we simply ask that this "feature" be disabled so others can't see entire post history? Perhaps better privacy settings where we can choose what info is readily accessible to others might help some of us feel more comfortable.

It actually gets used to help people too by checking their posting history when answering a question they may have, however you can still achieve something similar using google with just a little more work.

partgypsy

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1407
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #91 on: August 11, 2017, 09:57:47 AM »
Hey Sweet life I got a seriously creepy RL stalker from (I believe) this site because I put out too much personal info here. He lived close by and "found" me and the antics began. And are still somewhat ongoing
Yes, that is indeed very creepy.  I've never had anything like that happen nor received any feedback from anyone that they've ever identified me via what I have posted, even on a local news forum.
Happened awhile ago back when I had thousands of posts - many with specific info that would make it super easy to find me (DOH!).

Just to add: my MMM RL creeper was more of the axe wielding "I love you and your severed head would look lovely on my fireplace mantle" kind of creep. But did appreciate the dead black roses he'd leave on my doorstep. So nice to get when you're a single woman living alone ;-).
so sorry you went through this. I think stalkers like the power of making someone fearful.

Dicey

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5981
  • Age: 59
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #92 on: August 11, 2017, 10:07:15 AM »
OK, you all have seriously freaked me out with this thread and I am &lt;this close&gt; to deleting everything and starting over . . . So I would like to go back and look at my prior posts, but how do I do that?   I don't see a way to 'view all prior posts'?  Thanks!
If you click on your name it will bring you to your profile. Under your profile pic  I'll be a link to "my posts"
Thanks!
Creepily enough, you can do this for anyone else, too, and look at all their posts.
Yup. It's available on everyone's profile for others to see.
Can we simply ask that this "feature" be disabled so others can't see entire post history? Perhaps better privacy settings where we can choose what info is readily accessible to others might help some of us feel more comfortable.
It actually gets used to help people too by checking their posting history when answering a question they may have, however you can still achieve something similar using google with just a little more work.
I use it on a regular basis. Sometimes I can't remember details of someone's story and don't want to look like the memory-deficient idiot that I often feel like I am. Other times, someone new asks a question on a topic I've written on extensively, so it's easier to dig up the previous response than write it all over again (see Prognostat's thoughts above). I've been here five years or so and sometimes it's fun to go back and see what I was commenting on and reflect on what progress I've made. I have a journal and occasionally I'll pull something from the archives to post there.

I'm resigned to the fact that I'm certainly find-able. In my single days, I certainly would have minded more,  but now perhaps I feel less vulnerable, because I don't travel for work and I am virtually never alone. There's an example of how radically changed my life is since joining the forum. This from the person who once booked and flew eight Southwest flights in one day, just to get a shit load of points.

I didn't notice the feature for quite some time,  but now I'm very glad it exists.
I did it! I have a journal!
A Lot Like This
And hell yes, I am still moving confidently in the direction of my dreams...

Bracken_Joy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7029
  • Location: Oregon
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #93 on: August 11, 2017, 10:12:14 AM »
Hey Sweet life I got a seriously creepy RL stalker from (I believe) this site because I put out too much personal info here. He lived close by and "found" me and the antics began. And are still somewhat ongoing
Yes, that is indeed very creepy.  I've never had anything like that happen nor received any feedback from anyone that they've ever identified me via what I have posted, even on a local news forum.
Happened awhile ago back when I had thousands of posts - many with specific info that would make it super easy to find me (DOH!).

Just to add: my MMM RL creeper was more of the axe wielding "I love you and your severed head would look lovely on my fireplace mantle" kind of creep. But did appreciate the dead black roses he'd leave on my doorstep. So nice to get when you're a single woman living alone ;-).
so sorry you went through this. I think stalkers like the power of making someone fearful.
Thanks. Although I was less fearful and more irritated and annoyed.

Well that's because you're a scary badass =) In the best possible way, of course.
My journal: Hiding in the Ferns
Like babies? Have kids? Want to chat about Babies and Pregnancy/Infertility? Group Journal Here.

prognastat

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 797
  • Location: Texas
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #94 on: August 11, 2017, 11:52:50 AM »
I didn't notice the feature for quite some time,  but now I'm very glad it exists.

I'm also glad that feature exists for my own account/personal reference; but would rather have the optional choice if we want entire post history to be shared with others in an easily accessible list (understood that Google digging is still possible, but harder).

Currently, it's the default to easily view anyone's entire post history, but seems like a simple privacy option to allow a choice.

The thing though is disabling it would be more likely to deter the helpful uses whereas a legitimately dangerous creep is unlikely to be deterred and will use google/other methods.

brooklynguy

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2101
  • Age: 37
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #95 on: August 11, 2017, 12:06:54 PM »
Currently, it's the default to easily view anyone's entire post history, but seems like a simple privacy option to allow a choice.

In my view, the utility of having that feature always be available to be used for legitimate purposes outweighs the interests of users who might wish to disable it because of its potential to be used for illegitimate purposes.  There can be no reasonable expectation of privacy when posting to a public internet forum like this one, and users should be mindful of the extremely broad reach of this particular forum when deciding how much care they wish to take (or not take) in trying to avoid revealing their identity.  MMM described it well in his "What it means to be a part of this forum" post:

This forum, because of your unusually precise and intelligent content, has become an insanely powerful magnet for Google and other search engines.  Often, conversations you have here will immediately show up on the first page of a web search. This brings more people, and means the conversations are influential. The forum alone (not counting the main Mr. Money Mustache blog) gets over 3 million page views per month.

When you combine these two factors: limited size and wide reach, you come to realize that this forum is not really a bunch of private conversations. It's more like a stage, on which you are performing the act of civilized questions and intelligent responses in front of millions of people. OK, not every conversation, but definitely certain ones wherever we happen to get a lot of search visitors.

katsiki

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 628
  • Age: 37
  • Location: Louisiana
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #96 on: August 11, 2017, 01:09:54 PM »
I didn't read the whole thread so it may have been mentioned.

Be careful sharing pics or files through Google.  Someone can see whatever details you display with Google.  name, email address, etc.  Many folks show their full real name.  Once you have that and a state or city, it is pretty easy to find someone (if you're a weirdo).

End of PSA :)
"busy eating lentils in a van by the river"

Bracken_Joy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7029
  • Location: Oregon
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #97 on: August 11, 2017, 01:16:57 PM »
I didn't read the whole thread so it may have been mentioned.

Be careful sharing pics or files through Google.  Someone can see whatever details you display with Google.  name, email address, etc.  Many folks show their full real name.  Once you have that and a state or city, it is pretty easy to find someone (if you're a weirdo).

End of PSA :)

Yeah I see a lot of people post case studies that link to their gmail accounts with their full names =\
My journal: Hiding in the Ferns
Like babies? Have kids? Want to chat about Babies and Pregnancy/Infertility? Group Journal Here.

Trifele

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 681
  • Location: US
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #98 on: August 11, 2017, 05:17:43 PM »
OK, yeah.  I spent some time looking at my posts, and I think I have overshared at times.  I would not be the easiest person to find (have never had a Facebook, Twitter, or Google account) but if someone really wanted to find me they probably could.  I deleted the most detailed posts.  I guess I feel better, though it is also sad that it might be necessary . . . Sigh.

geekette

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1595
Re: Creepy message ...
« Reply #99 on: August 13, 2017, 06:47:51 PM »
Someone upthread mentioned that the military probably has ways of finding out lots about you, but the police do too, which you might find comforting or frightening, depending on your stance.

Last month, our neighbor's house caught on fire at 3AM.  We called it in and were outside when the fire trucks, police, and EMS showed up.  They determined that no one was home, somehow found a cell phone number associated with the house, determined it was many states away, and sent local police (it was the father of an owner).  I knew the owners' daughter's first name only, and within minutes, they had a picture of her on a laptop, and sent someone to pound on her door (local).  The only ones they couldn't locate were the owners themselves, who were out of the country.

Too many geekettes on the web to easily find me, I think.