But. I like spending money.

[KBecks2]

Mmm friends, I'm really struggling in the eating out category.  We are on vacation camping and it should be cheap, but we have had some meals out and it adds up so fast.  But, we enjoy it.  We did have a crappy restaurant meal yesterday and then a tasty one.  The feeling of happiness going out is hard to let go of, and this is just the special ones.  It is hard to imagine cutting it ALL out.

Next I am going to rant that I hate shopping  topics on MMM , they are too tempting.  Le Creuset and the Buy it for life threads are not helpful.  I have resisted but it sucks.

[KBecks2]

Question, how have you  gotten over going out?  And I mean the times you are invited out or when you are on vacation or just want that pleasure and luxury??

We blew $80 on pizza and drinks last night and it was wonderful except for the calories. And dollars

[Gray Matter]

You are not alone.  For years I have asked, "Why is it more fun to spend money than save it?!"  Over time, I've come to appreciate the joy of saving, but it's definitely a delayed gratification.  But I find tracking it and checking the balance of my account and planning different retirement scenarios brings some of the pleasure into the now.

I am not really into kitchen gadgetry or clothing, so those are pretty easy to resist.  But I totally get the eating out.  While DH was out of town, I had gotten pretty strict about that and recently realized that I actually miss it.  For people who love (or even tolerate) cooking, perhaps eating at home is as good or better.  But I don't like cooking, and having people over when I have to spend hours cleaning my house and grocery shopping and cooking...well, it just takes some of the fun out of it. 

So lately we're started eating out more because we ENJOY it and I'm just keeping a close eye on it.  My goal is not to be a martyr, but to really make my money work for me, and eating out thoughtfully seems to do that for me.

[Villanelle]

I think you should focus on the "crappy restaurant meal".  Those are the ones you should avoid.  Skip the trips to Olive Garden or McDonald's.  And when you do so, remind yourself that you are doing that so that you can enjoy the occasional "tasty one".  Your goal need not be "never eat out".  Your goal should be to only eat out when it is getting you maximum pleasure for your dollars.  Remind yourself when you aren't wanting to cook lunch that doing so earns you the dinner out Friday night that you are looking forward to.

Your shopping comment makes me think that maybe you need to focus a bit on the bigger picture.  This shouldn't be something you white knuckle your way through.  So it's the mindset that needs to be examined if it's really that hard to not shop for stuff you don't need and can't really afford.  Ask yourself why you are buying that stuff, whether a new pot or pan will really improve your life in any meaningful way, and why it "sucks" to not buy stuff you don't really need.

[MayDay]

I am the main cook (I SAH and H works, so it makes sense) but man, cooking three meals a day for four people sucks.  Plus, I love eating food out that is hard to make at home. 

Anyway, we do eat out some, but try very hard to make sure it is really tasty food, and not too unhealthy (at least not all the time).  And we have a monthly budget that we are pretty strict about staying within.

[marty998]

Hard one to cut without being antisocial.

I tend to treat it now as one of those inevitable things (like bills). Helps for me to think of it as a "Social" bill to pay each month. Just set aside enough in your budget for what you need to remain a sane-connected-with-humanity person.

[Villanelle]

I am the main cook (I SAH and H works, so it makes sense) but man, cooking three meals a day for four people sucks.  Plus, I love eating food out that is hard to make at home. 

Anyway, we do eat out some, but try very hard to make sure it is really tasty food, and not too unhealthy (at least not all the time).  And we have a monthly budget that we are pretty strict about staying within.

I hate cooking but for practical reasons, it falls to me.  I've that doing a big freezer cook every couple weeks helps a lot.  In 2-3 hours, I can have dinner for that night, plus 4-6 meals for the freezer.   I could make more in that time if I didn't have a minuscule European kitchen.  If you don't have ideas for what freezes well, look for "freezer cooking" or "once a month cooking" cookbooks at your library. 

[KBecks2]

We need to do better w making a monthly budget. 

[soccerluvof4]

I think instead of making a budget just track what you spend first on every dollar you spend eating out and that might be shocking in itself. Then learn to cut back from there. Once you start on that track chances are it will become an addiction per sae to keep cutting it down.  When you realize that if you order Mac N cheese out and you can get a case (10 pack of Kraft) for what you spent for one bowl say at Noodles & Co. its an eye opener. In this goes pretty much a cross the line with any restaurant food.

[SnpKraklePhyz]

For me it was learning to cook well.  I can usually make a tastier meal in less time than it takes to go out to a restaurant (not including clean up- hate cleaning up...).  This means having quality ingredients and a good chef's knife at home.  I have come to enjoy cooking and try to think of each meal as a "Chopped" episode with me as the star!

[DocCyane]

I'm not a spender, so it isn't difficult, but here's a way to keep perspective. Add up how much money you spend on eating out versus what it would cost for a simple meal at home. Calculate for a month, then again for a year, then a decade.

Look at how much you've spent on this one line item and what you could have bought with it.

Let's say it's $400 a month, $4800 a year or $48,000 in a decade.

Could you have paid off your house? Suddenly that pizza may not taste so good.

[matchewed]

What about the going out to eat that draws you? I doubt it is the actual spending of the money. Ask yourself what about this experience is valuable to me? Can I replicate that which is valuable to me in a more cost effective manner?

[RetiredAt63]

I don't eat out much, but I do every so often.  I put it into my "social/entertainment" category, not "food", since that is when I do eat out.  Also, I order things I am not likely to make at home.  If I really like it, well it is time to learn to make something new!

[Rezdent]

KBecks2
"Your Money or Your Life" was a huge epiphany for me.  Have you read it?
It's dated, especially IRT investing,  but the exercises about calculating your true hourly wage (hint:  it's much less than what your job is paying) and learning to translate that into the number of hours of life you're giving up (permanently) for the exchange made me more conscious.  I still buy things that are of value to me and I don't angst over it.  My spending dropped 25% effortlessly.   That was 4 years ago and my spending has dropped even more yet I am happy.  I don't feel deprived or tempted.

[Suit]

Also, I order things I am not likely to make at home.

+1

I also made an agreement with myself not to eat out by myself. This stops the after work Chipotle run out of laziness while still letting me go out when it's an opportunity to socialize with my friends. I also cook everything for the week on the weekend so I know there is something ready for me at home when I get the urge to go out.

[MoneyCat]

I used to have serious problems with enjoying spending money as well.  Our entire culture is built on the idea that you have higher status if you spend more money.  It's self-destructive at best and disastrous at worst.  Over time, I was able to retrain myself to get that fun dopamine rush from saving money instead (like seeing the balance in my bank account grow and grow). 

One major way I was able to achieve this was by removing as much advertising from my life as possible.  I canceled my cable and watched Netflix instead (or free Hulu episodes with an ad-blocker on Google Chrome browser to watch the newest stuff).  I stopped listening to "free" advertiser-sponsored radio and instead purchased a SiriusXM satellite radio with a lifetime subscription off eBay so I could listen to music and live programming without advertisements.  I canceled all my magazine subscriptions in favor of internet blogs.

When it comes to meals, you can turn it into something fun.  A lot of the blogs I read are full of interesting recipes to try and I make them together with my wife and/or our friends, so it becomes something social.  You don't need to stop being social if you choose not to waste money on paying someone else to prepare food you could easily make on your own.

[ambimammular]

A great way to fight the eating out desire is to learn that one dish you love.

Pad Se Ew
Pad Thai
Carrot Halwa
Pizza crust from scratch

If you can get it perfected you start to think, "My marinated tofu is better than this. Why am I wasting my money?" 

[DollarBill]

I'm a foodie and like to try new places. I won't go out unless it's new to me and two they can cook it better than I can.  I also use copy cat recipes to get my fix for half the price. Two places I never go is steak or seafood...too over priced.

http://carrabbasathome.blogspot.com/2012/07/cozze-in-bianco.html
http://www.pinterest.com/jeannieguzman1/best-copycat-recipes-on-pinterest/

[Thegoblinchief]

Have small kids. You'll hate going to stores, and trying to eat out at a restaurant is the ninth circle of hell.

Shopping online can be curbed a ton by having a 48 hour rule, or even longer cool off period to avoid impulse purchases.

Admittedly, I love to cook. No way in hell am I going to get healthy food for the average cost per meal I can do from home and my reaction to most restaurant meals is "meh". There's a restaurant across the street from work that people rave about, but their food is awful compared to what I can cook.

And I'm not even that good of a cook!

[mostlyeels]

A great way to fight the eating out desire is to learn that one dish you love.

Pad Se Ew
Pad Thai
Carrot Halwa
Pizza crust from scratch

If you can get it perfected you start to think, "My marinated tofu is better than this. Why am I wasting my money?"

This, for sure.  As I've gotten better at cooking, I've started to feel this way about the lower-cost restaurants I used to be fine with.  Now I know I can make it at home, better, for much less and without all the oil (or whatever) that's put into it, I love it.

Two reasons I still eat out:

• social gatherings
• fine dining for special occasions

In both cases, I appreciate it much more than I ever did before.  Partly because I couldn't make it as well, partly for the sharing aspect, and partly because I don't have to wash up!

[m0nk3y]

Have small kids. You'll hate going to stores, and trying to eat out at a restaurant is the ninth circle of hell.

Shopping online can be curbed a ton by having a 48 hour rule, or even longer cool off period to avoid impulse purchases.

Admittedly, I love to cook. No way in hell am I going to get healthy food for the average cost per meal I can do from home and my reaction to most restaurant meals is "meh". There's a restaurant across the street from work that people rave about, but their food is awful compared to what I can cook.

And I'm not even that good of a cook!

100% agreed. With a 3yo, 2yo and 3mo group in the stable, going out is a chore. DW is good about the staying home part but not always the savings part... She's coming around.

That said- we do a date night every 4-5 weeks that we use to get away and plan what else we can make at home. Each night out is a culinary challenge to be bettered at home. Our date nights are inexpensive and we plan this partially so that the home version isn't expensive either. It's the proverbial win-win. We're also both competitive, so it gives us an opportunity at a friendly competition.

Before the kids (and while sewing debt) we would eat out like it was our only option... Family time has been a huge bonus while providing a less expensive choice.

[RetiredAt63]

Re cooking - I used to order poached fish - loved it.  Now with the microwave I can make better fish than the restaurants.  I can eat healthy when I am out, I just ask for double vegetables and skip the rice/potatoes/fries.

But fast food when you are at home is a cop-out.  I have been gardening all day, so I put a pork roast and seasonings in the crock pot, plugged it in outside (no way I am heating up the house anymore than I have to), and now that I am done and have had a swim it is time for dinner.  Took all of 5 minutes prep, mainly to get new seasoning ideas from a few cookbooks.

Spending money - sure if it is for something worthwhile and the value is there - so I will buy merino/silk blends to spin, and go on spinning retreats, and theatre outings.  But I find that a lot of country dwellers are pretty frugal, and I am also hanging out a lot with other retirees, so most of my outings around here are definitely fun, but not hard on my budget*.  It helps that I have cut my cable and am not exposed to a lot of ads, so most of my shopping is for things that I have decided I need because the need is genuine.  Not going out every day also means that when I do go, I plan my errands, and that is when I finally decide if that "whatever" was a need or a want.

* example - a bunch of us went away for the weekend, we rented cottages at a resort during shoulder season, brought our own food, so total cost was some food, the rental, and the gas money.

[thepokercab]

Eating out is by far my family's achilles heel.  We've gotten somewhat better over the past year, as working from home has cut out many of the mid-day lunches and coffee trips, but we're still spending anywhere from $300-400 a month on a pretty consistent basis.  Take out pizza, and carry out Mexican food are our biggest weaknesses.   But we still make way too many boneheaded trips to a Taco Bell or McDonalds.  Not only are we wasting money, but probably lowering our life expectancy in the process. 

What about the going out to eat that draws you? I doubt it is the actual spending of the money. Ask yourself what about this experience is valuable to me? Can I replicate that which is valuable to me in a more cost effective manner?

This is a really good question, and i'm still trying to come up with a good answer.  Something about the idea of getting take out or eating out is enjoyable and exciting- but after I'm done eating, i often times find myself thinking "that food wasn't worth it- at all".  So i don't even think the food itself is particularly appealing. 

[Thegoblinchief]

Take out pizza, and carry out Mexican food are our biggest weaknesses. 

Mexican food is so easy!

Pizza is nominally more time-consuming, but also easy. I still need to write up the crust recipe I've developed/modified, but I can get pizza to the table within 45 minutes of starting the crust.

[thepokercab]

Take out pizza, and carry out Mexican food are our biggest weaknesses. 

Mexican food is so easy!

Pizza is nominally more time-consuming, but also easy. I still need to write up the crust recipe I've developed/modified, but I can get pizza to the table within 45 minutes of starting the crust.

I know!!  We've made pizzas and mexican food at home, and each time its better than anything we get from a take out meal.  We do hate the clean up, but still.. its no excuse. 

[lifejoy]

Know what I love more than eating out? Eating a meal at home that I pre-prepared and froze in anticipation of a lazy day :) Chilli is our go-to! Warm it up, and you have a healthy and delicious meal. We estimated that each meal from our large batch of vegetarian chili costs about $0.80.

Know all that makes me not enjoy eating out anymore. Bad for the waist, bad for the wallet.

Hope that helps!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[lifejoy]

Oh - and try watching a good documentary, like Supersize Me, or Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. They always make me sour on fast food


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[EricL]

I'll admit eating out is something I need to curtail too.  But it's not a mortal sin unless you combine it with driving an oversized new gass guzzler everywhere AND buying a house beyond your means AND buying junk all the time with credit cards AND running AC in the summer like you're freezing beef AND running the heater in the winter so the house is like Jamaica AND buying the latest gadgets AND paying for all the cable channels, etc. 

[travelbug]

Honestly, we live by the rule:

You can have anything you want, just not everything.

If eating out is your thing, then enjoy it. But choose what you really love, make it an event (once a week/month/whatever) and enjoy it fully.

Being miserly is not what MMM is about and not what life is about.

BUT if there is something you desire more than eating, put it all in perspective and make a choice. It is liberating to be able to choose.

[Cressida]

I still need to write up the crust recipe I've developed/modified, but I can get pizza to the table within 45 minutes of starting the crust.

I'm awaiting this with anticipation. :) I have a recipe that works OK, but I have to start it the night before.

[dmn]

When I think about paying extra for luxuries (e.g. eating out), I always check whether I value the stuff I want to buy more than the free time in which I do not have to work. When eating out for 20$, I convert the 20$ into ~30$ pre-tax (using my marginal tax rate), and divide by my hourly wage. If I earned 20$ per hour gross, then a 20$ expense would mean 1.5 hours of immediate extra work, or even more hours of future work due to compound interest.

I then know how many hours I have to work extra to afford that specific expense. As I value my time highly, I tend not to spend much on luxuries. If you, however, value eating out more than having free time, then it is fine if you pay extra for this.

[golden1]

I can't cut eating out completely, but we really only eat out maybe once a month at a good restaurant, usually for some sort of celebration, like a birthday. 

Now weekday take out is a weakness for sure, but I am getting better at resisting.  I am a Chipotle addict - very tough to resist for me because it is fast, relatively cheap, high quality, healthy and delicious.  I need to figure out how to make a Chipotle style burrito at home - can't be that hard.  I doubt it will taste as good though.

[hybrid]

We blew $80 on pizza and drinks last night and it was wonderful

I'm not going to sugarcoat this OP. This site may not be for you.

If you really enjoy eating out and shopping the way that you do (80$ for pizza and drinks? 80$? Is this a family of eight?) then maybe you need to step back and ask what your priorities really are. If you are not in debt and can comfortably retire when you reach a certain age, then just embrace who you are if eating out and shopping bring you such joy. My brother makes really good bank and enjoys living the finer life, and he can afford to while still saving nicely. I have introduced him to this site and the concept of FIRE, and it offers him absolutely nothing. He and I are just wired differently that way. You may be wired differently too.

If you are financially challenged on the other hand, then wake up and smell the Starbucks. $80 for pizza and drinks, if you are borrowing to enjoy that, is a huge problem if you have found that you both enjoy it and cannot afford it. Hopefully this is not the case.
   

[frugalnacho]

KBecks2
"Your Money or Your Life" was a huge epiphany for me.  Have you read it?
It's dated, especially IRT investing,  but the exercises about calculating your true hourly wage (hint:  it's much less than what your job is paying) and learning to translate that into the number of hours of life you're giving up (permanently) for the exchange made me more conscious.  I still buy things that are of value to me and I don't angst over it.  My spending dropped 25% effortlessly.   That was 4 years ago and my spending has dropped even more yet I am happy.  I don't feel deprived or tempted.

+1

When I think about paying extra for luxuries (e.g. eating out), I always check whether I value the stuff I want to buy more than the free time in which I do not have to work. When eating out for 20$, I convert the 20$ into ~30$ pre-tax (using my marginal tax rate), and divide by my hourly wage. If I earned 20$ per hour gross, then a 20$ expense would mean 1.5 hours of immediate extra work, or even more hours of future work due to compound interest.

I then know how many hours I have to work extra to afford that specific expense. As I value my time highly, I tend not to spend much on luxuries. If you, however, value eating out more than having free time, then it is fine if you pay extra for this.

If you gross $20/hr, you are making less than that as a "true" hourly wage once you account for transportation, commute time, etc.  You likely need to earn more than $30 to actually get that $20 bill in your hand once you account for taxes and everything else to compute your "true" hourly wage.

[KBecks2]

Yeah, I know that an $80 dinner is not how you save 50 percent of income.  Not even close.  I like this site and especially the articles.  We will keep trying.  I would like to put more savings on auto pilot to do better.  Our treat is definitely a little restaurant eating now and then.  It is good to know the weak spot, and I need to work on cooking better at home.

[Tetsuya Hondo]

Yeah, I know that an $80 dinner is not how you save 50 percent of income.  Not even close.  I like this site and especially the articles.  We will keep trying.  I would like to put more savings on auto pilot to do better.  Our treat is definitely a little restaurant eating now and then.  It is good to know the weak spot, and I need to work on cooking better at home.

It's a journey and everyone has to take a slightly different path and pace to get there. My wife and I started small. At first, we felt pretty good about trimming $200 bucks from the monthly budget. Now we're saving over $2000 a month. For us, we had to go in baby steps. But, we still have a guilt-free expensive meal from time to time because our only debt is our mortgage and are able to save a good amount in spite of it.

So, there's not a right or wrong answer to that being a bad thing. If you don't have bad debt and it's worth it to you and worth the opportunity cost, then maybe it's ok. But, if not...well, then that's something to work on.

[renorogue]

I live alone in a lovely walkable part of this city with many restaurants where all my friends who live on the outskirts of town want to meet me all the time.  I agree with many of the posters that eating out is one of the harder things to get in control. Here's some of the strategies I've used to cut down:

1) I always prepare lunch for work, either the night before or on the weekend.  There's nowhere awesome to get food near there, and it's easier to get through the afternoon after a homemade meal anyway- less calories.  It also takes less time to simply eat than to go somewhere, order and wait.  I spend the extra time walking around or just having quiet time.  Sometimes I work a little bit and that allows me to escape earlier.

2) I bring snacks to work, too- one for mid-morning, one for the afternoon.  If I don't do this, I'm more tempted to go grab some enormous sandwich or something because I'm starving at meal time.  If I pack everything, I never feel ravenous and enjoy my own food a lot.

3) If a friend wants to meet for lunch or dinner and I know it's going to get pricey, or if I'm not particularly compelled to go out and would rather blow my wad on another meal down the line, I tell them I'm busy but suggest we meet for coffee and a walk, or just a walk and I bring snacks or a fun beverage. It's novel. People love it.

4) I invite people over for simple homemade cocktails and small snacks in the afternoon.

5) I second the notion of inviting people over to cook together and making that the experience rather than going out and spending a bunch of money.  The added bonus is that my house does not close, so I can spend more quality time with friends in an environment where I get to control noise level, number of people, etc.  Plus my nice guests usually bring fun fancy things. 

6) I avoid group dinners out like the plague.  I've said I have to work late and shown up for dessert and a drink.  A dinner with eight people gets out of control.  Long before I was into Mustachianism, I resented that particular expenditure. So I skip it.

7) I've started buying bulk stuff at good deals that I can't finish on my own (for instance, 12 avocados for $3 at Grocery Outlet yesterday- impossible to crush myself, despite the deliciousness of avos).  Then I suggest a trade for something else.  A good friend of mine has chickens so we're doing an avo/egg trade this week.  This gets other people into cooking and preparing their own food, so I am in good company.

I am not a purist by any means, and I think that helps me not feel deprived.  I almost NEVER buy clothes, gadgets, or new anything, so I am a little more generous with my food budget than other things. I am ok with that and am enjoying the process of cutting back bit by bit.  If I wind up going out spontaneously and it's fun, I don't fixate on it.  It happened, and hopefully it was worth it. Hope it helps.

[hybrid]

Yeah, I know that an $80 dinner is not how you save 50 percent of income.  Not even close.  I like this site and especially the articles.  We will keep trying.  I would like to put more savings on auto pilot to do better.  Our treat is definitely a little restaurant eating now and then.  It is good to know the weak spot, and I need to work on cooking better at home.

I won't assume for a moment I know where you are in your financial journey, and I surely appreciate that lots of people can't get to 50% for various reasons (I am in that boat, more like 1/3), my only point was does being frugal bring you joy or misery? If the latter, and money really isn't an issue, well, there you are. My brother's financial path is a sound one, it's just not the one I would choose, and I know he thinks the same about me. Hopefully you have a similar first world choice to make. Good luck! 

[ace1224]

i looooooooooooooooove eating out.  love it!  its so awesome.  i like getting dressed different than a homeless person (how i look for work) i like leaving the house, i like people just bringing me food, i like not making it, and i love how good it tastes.  seriously food just tastes better out to me. 
my old neighbor was the head chef for a local restaurant, and they had us over for dinner one time.  it was pretty bad ass, but still not as fun as going out to eat. 
so for our family we have figured out that its not the food so much, but the "being out" that we love.  we now only go to places with awesome deals like dollar margarita and chip night.  and focus on getting apps, or desert only instead of a whole meal.  hell we'll eat dinner and then go out for drinks an hour later just because we like game night or something.

[galaxie]

We blew $80 on pizza and drinks last night and it was wonderful

I'm not going to sugarcoat this OP. This site may not be for you.

If you really enjoy eating out and shopping the way that you do (80$ for pizza and drinks? 80$? Is this a family of eight?) then maybe you need to step back and ask what your priorities really are.

I disagree, KBecks.  This site is totally for you.  I would spend $80 on dinner and drinks.  Eating out is something we choose to spend money on.  But we make sure we've got our other shit in order first.  We have a paid-off car that is cashflow-positive through RelayRides.  We don't have cable, we are aggressively saving & paying off our mortgage (if you count mortgage payoff as saving, we are beating a 70% savings rate).  We'll be retired in ~13 years when the house is paid off, if not sooner.  We've got a monthly budget for eating out that would get us a ton of facepunches, but we're happy with our savings rate and decided we're ok with spending that money.

If you want to keep going out to eat, but you want to save more money, figure out what else you can de-prioritize.  Like travelbug says, you can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want.  Quit your gym.  Cut cable.  Bike to work.  Travel less.  Make sure your eating out stays within a monthly limit, too.  Don't go crazy.  People here can help you find ways to make good choices about your overall budget, even if you want to make stupid choices with some of your spending money.

[galaxie]

Oh, and:

• During my upcoming month of funemployment, I have a plan to bring picnic lunches to my officebound working-stiff friends instead of going out to lunch with them.
• We've been making an effort to have friends over for weeknight dinners cooked at home, or for game night.  It takes a little of the eating-out pressure off during the weekend.

[BFGirl]

We blew $80 on pizza and drinks last night and it was wonderful

I'm not going to sugarcoat this OP. This site may not be for you.

If you really enjoy eating out and shopping the way that you do (80$ for pizza and drinks? 80$? Is this a family of eight?) then maybe you need to step back and ask what your priorities really are.

I disagree, KBecks.  This site is totally for you.  I would spend $80 on dinner and drinks.  Eating out is something we choose to spend money on.  But we make sure we've got our other shit in order first.  We have a paid-off car that is cashflow-positive through RelayRides.  We don't have cable, we are aggressively saving & paying off our mortgage (if you count mortgage payoff as saving, we are beating a 70% savings rate).  We'll be retired in ~13 years when the house is paid off, if not sooner.  We've got a monthly budget for eating out that would get us a ton of facepunches, but we're happy with our savings rate and decided we're ok with spending that money.

If you want to keep going out to eat, but you want to save more money, figure out what else you can de-prioritize.  Like travelbug says, you can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want.  Quit your gym.  Cut cable.  Bike to work.  Travel less.  Make sure your eating out stays within a monthly limit, too.  Don't go crazy.  People here can help you find ways to make good choices about your overall budget, even if you want to make stupid choices with some of your spending money.

I agree with this.  Prioritize things that are important to you.  I LOVE going out to eat with my friends and family, but I can't afford to do it all the time.  So, I am bringing my lunch to work most days instead of going out everyday.  I am cooking a lot at home instead of getting take out.  I am taking the train to work instead of using a lot of gas.  By cutting these things, I feel free to go out when a friend calls and take my kids out to nice restaurants 2-3 times a month.  I'm sure I could be saving that money, but I love the food and the social aspect, so to me it is worth it.

[Icecreamarsenal]

People I know have regular gatherings at a persons home: they dress nicely, bring a bottle of wine, and something they've made, usually with a theme. I believe this is called a party, or a potluck. Maybe even a get together.
This may be a suitable substitute for going to a restaurant. Why do you like going? At the $80 price point, it's unlikely to be a le cordon blue grad crafting something that you're unable to reproduce. It's likely convenience, ambiance (manufactured ambiance, using an interior designer to replicate 'rustic', 'Tuscan'), or...?
I like going out once in a while too. It gives me time with my wife and reminds me of the whirlwind of our romance.

[RetiredAt63]

I don't quite understand this - the waitperson asks "One bill or separate bills?", you all say "separate bills", and you order as much or as little as you want.  How does this get out of control, just because you are 8 people instead of 6 or 4 or 3?

Next year I will be going out to dinner about once a month as part of an activity, and I expect to spend less than $20 each time.  I know the restaurant, I will be having the main course, period.  No appetizer, no dessert, no wine, water to drink, and I will have a delicious meal in good company for a reasonable amount.

6) I avoid group dinners out like the plague.  I've said I have to work late and shown up for dessert and a drink. A dinner with eight people gets out of control.  Long before I was into Mustachianism, I resented that particular expenditure. So I skip it.

[Cwadda]

Mmm friends, I'm really struggling in the eating out category.  We are on vacation camping and it should be cheap, but we have had some meals out and it adds up so fast.  But, we enjoy it.  We did have a crappy restaurant meal yesterday and then a tasty one.  The feeling of happiness going out is hard to let go of, and this is just the special ones.  It is hard to imagine cutting it ALL out.

Next I am going to rant that I hate shopping  topics on MMM , they are too tempting.  Le Creuset and the Buy it for life threads are not helpful.  I have resisted but it sucks.

Maybe you could use the Trip Adviser app especially when you're on vacation to take advantage of the best restaurants out there. That would limit the number of "crappy" restaurants you visit.

[MrsPete]

So lately we're started eating out more because we ENJOY it and I'm just keeping a close eye on it.  My goal is not to be a martyr, but to really make my money work for me, and eating out thoughtfully seems to do that for me.

Yeah, I could've said this same thing.  We eat out -- more often than when we were young and newly married and broke -- but "thoughtfully" is the right word.  We don't eat out so often that it becomes an expectation instead of a treat, and we try to choose times /meals that will really bring us satisfaction . . . instead of just avoidance of cooking. 

Things we do when we don't much want to cook:

- Cook a homemade frozen meal.  I almost always double the recipe for a casserole, lasagna, soup, spaghetti sauce, or whatever else -- and then I have a no-effort meal when I'm not in the mood to cook. 
- Get Chinese take-out, which we all love and an $8 plate = 3 meals for me.
- Get deli take-out (for example, store-made pizza), which isn't particularly good quality, but is cheap and fast. 
- Eat sandwiches or cereal.  Sometimes I don't want to cook AND I want a good meal, but other times I'm satisfied with pretty much nothing.

[milesdividendmd]

We blew $80 on pizza and drinks last night and it was wonderful

I'm not going to sugarcoat this OP. This site may not be for you.

If you really enjoy eating out and shopping the way that you do (80$ for pizza and drinks? 80$? Is this a family of eight?) then maybe you need to step back and ask what your priorities really are.

I disagree, KBecks.  This site is totally for you.  I would spend $80 on dinner and drinks.  Eating out is something we choose to spend money on.  But we make sure we've got our other shit in order first.  We have a paid-off car that is cashflow-positive through RelayRides.  We don't have cable, we are aggressively saving & paying off our mortgage (if you count mortgage payoff as saving, we are beating a 70% savings rate).  We'll be retired in ~13 years when the house is paid off, if not sooner.  We've got a monthly budget for eating out that would get us a ton of facepunches, but we're happy with our savings rate and decided we're ok with spending that money.

If you want to keep going out to eat, but you want to save more money, figure out what else you can de-prioritize.  Like travelbug says, you can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want.  Quit your gym.  Cut cable.  Bike to work.  Travel less.  Make sure your eating out stays within a monthly limit, too.  Don't go crazy.  People here can help you find ways to make good choices about your overall budget, even if you want to make stupid choices with some of your spending money.

I agree with this sentiment.

As with any philosophy/religion/cult mustachianism is a spectrum. There are fundamentalists, moderates, and liberal Mustachians.

I consider myself moderate to liberal.

My interpretation of the importance of saving can be said to be something like this:

Every dollar spent should be spent to maximize happiness. This means that every buying decision (including eating out) becomes a question: "Will buying this make me happier, than the equivalent amount of freedom that the money could buy?"  If the answer is yes, I buy it without reservation.

Food is very important to me, so I still eat out quite a bit. But just the awareness that buying something is essentially a choice between consumption and freedom has caused me to spend considerably less, even on food.

I've even written a series of blog posts on all of the expensive things that I bought that ended up being worth it when it came to happiness.  (Fancy cat, Agrumato, etc)