I agree. I was putting things off at the beginning too, but now when I'm frustrated waiting for FIRE I find that getting started on the things I want to do after FIRE (like learning Spanish) makes me feel like I'm still working towards it, even though it's not financial.
The added bonus is that it's made me realize the difference between the things I really want to do, and the things I'm just doing to fill my time. Things that make me feel good long term vs. things that make me feel good short term.
As for your mom's claim about travel getting tiring, it takes me MANY more days than 18 to get tired of traveling!!
Defiantly a good idea to "start living" now as opposed to waiting for FIRE. Also disarm Mom by telling her you want to retire so you can spend much much more time with her. You can't think of anything better and more worthwhile than spending tons of time with her. You will be able to do all kinds of stuff together and be best friends. She will stop asking so much after that.
Ha. :D This IS one of my reasons for wanting to FIRE (but maybe not as obsessively). :p I miss my mom and I want to move closer to her and help her out. She just retired this month. Luckily for me my brothers and father and a few other relatives all live in the same town so I can see them all too. Spending time with family is one of my post-FIRE plans that I can't do too often while I'm still stuck at work without impacting my finances. (However I used to go home once a year on average. This year I've been back twice already and have another trip planned in 2 weeks and am considering Christmas too.) For what it's worth, my mom is thrilled with my FIRE plans.
Your Mom is wise. It's about balance.
I spend more than most of the MMM group but I also know first hand (my father) how futile it is to scrimp your whole life and then drop dead at 50, never getting to enjoy any of your money or hard work.
Everybody's balance is different. There are many things I want to do that can only be done after ER (e.g. spend 6 months hiking the PCT). Some things I can do now, so I do, even though it costs money and might delay my ER date. If you're not enjoying your life most of the time, the balance is off IMO.
Everybody's balance is different. This is my motto. :p I had to make a choice when I first started reading MMM and figuring out my FIRE goals. I'd already planned and put a deposit on a trip to Peru with 9 friends and family. I almost dropped out (even though I was the initiator of said trip) to save money and FIRE faster. But I went anyway. My savings rate was a lot lower that month and the previous couple months in preparation, but it was worth it. If I had waited until post-FIRE to go I wouldn't have been able to experience the Inca Trail with my family. In the end it may have delayed me a month at most.
I looked up the PCT yesterday after reading your post. That looks fantastic!
Your mom has some good points, and living in the here and now is probably one of the key components to happiness. There are however some other things to consider. First, regarding travel; yes, I get some vacation time but my job greatly curtails what I am able to do. For example I would like to take an entire summer and explore the western states in my camper van. I would also like to be able to take advantage of last minute discounted airfare and other travel bargains which I am unable to do with a job schedule.
One minor thing my job also interferes with is reading. When I am done with work, household chores, and family time on weekday evenings I am unable to read because I will promptly fall asleep. On weekends I engage in hobbies, projects, more chores, and social pursuits so there is little time to read then. Consequently one of my favorite vacation activities is reading. My favorite time to read is in the morning. I love it if I am reading and feeling a bit drowsy I just tell myself "go ahead and snooze awhile, the book will be right here in your hands when you wake up". I look forward to reading a great deal more when I retire
FIRE to me means freedom to do whatever I want when I want. If I want to work I will. If I want to sleep in I will. If I want to study Spanish, go into politics, learn to weld, I will. As it stands now my job consumes about 25% of my time, sleeping is another 25%, so I am only getting about half my life. Working a job is in reality selling your life for X dollars per slice, a little bit at a time, and one day it will be depleted. Hooray for those who love their jobs and find that it adds significantly to their quality of life. Maybe I'll find another job myself after a few years of retirement, I just want the choice to be mine and have it not be a necessity.
Sooooo much this! In addition, not being tied to a M-F work schedule means you can more easily choose cheaper days to buy flights.
From the OP's post I also think your Mom is wise and asking good questions.
And while I agree that people shouldn't put off living their life or think that post retirement things will be very different I do have to share the change in my own habits and motivations that occurred when in my 30's I took 6 months off in between jobs. I had always been a good saver, so while my friends and family didn't really understand why I would voluntarily not have a job, I was okay financially to do it. This experience is what ignited my passion for FIRE. I didn't really take up any new hobbies (thought I would learn guitar but didn't) but wow did I engage in my favorite hobbies a LOT more!
Years later, I still struggle to fully comprehend or express to others that fundamental change in my energy levels and motivation levels to live life. In my old job and subsequent job after my break, I watched a fair amount of TV, played video games, and generally procrastinated what feels to me to be a lot. As soon as I had 100% control of my time suddenly there was no reason to procrastinate. For me, when working free time is so incredibly precious that I never want to "waste" it by doing chores or any activity that didn't provide immediate gratification, even if it was maintenance on vehicles I used in my hobbies which would provide great future gratification. It was like if I could avoid something on the weekend then I really didn't have to think about it for another week or more. This governed my attitude in everything from hitting the snooze button multiple times every work morning to watching TV half the day on the weekend instead of something more fulfilling but with less immediate gratification. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't a total lazy slob who barely function in society. I did a lot more activities than some and a lot less than others.
However, from day 1 of quitting my job I never used a snooze button again those 6 months and on average got up an hour earlier than when I was working. I watched almost no TV and played almost no video games those 6 months too. I was constantly meeting new friends and engaging in outdoor hobbies as well as taking care of household chores and errands. There really are a lot of people out there who have weekdays off either because they don't work (FIRE or otherwise), have part time or super flexible jobs, etc. who I met and adventured with. It literally was the best 6 months of my adult live. I was healthier, happier and the most stress free of anytime working or going to college.
Whenever, I have a serious conversation with people about FIRE and they use the old "what will you do all day" questions I don't have to use my imagination. I've done it and know exactly what I would do. Rather than getting a bug out of my system that 6 month break opened my eyes and gave me experiences I never imagined and showed me so many more things that I want to do.
I had a similar experience taking 6 months off. :) I took a leave of absence a couple years ago and went to Phoenix (from Canada) for the winter to stay with my boyfriend. For the first couple months it was an adjustment for me: moving, living with someone, being away from my friends and family. But after the adjustment I found a similar pattern (though I did still sleep in more). I was busy with all the things that are important to me. Meeting new people, long walks and hikes with my dog, gardening, hobbies, lots of learning mostly through Coursera courses, of course spending time with my boyfriend. The last couple months I was trying to learn Spanish again. I really wish I'd thought to do that when I first arrived since there are so many more resources and Spanish speaking people to practice with than at home. In the end 6 months didn't feel like enough time to do all the things that I wanted to do. I have zero worries about being bored once I quit my job. I highly recommend a sabbatical. :)
Just remember to try to limit what you can do now to one thing at a time. Those who cram too many "enriching" experiences, hobby, interests, etc.. into their precious little free time tend to end up getting frazzled, frustrated. I find that living the rest of my life at snail pace, as compared to the fast pace at work, works wonder for my mental well being.
This is often my problem. I have so many hobbies and goals and things I want to do that they often cycle in and out over time depending on my mood and the time of year. Some hobbies I haven't touched in over a year now. Not because I don't want to do that hobby anymore, but because other ones are currently priority. Ebbs and flows. Another reason to FIRE, so I can spend more time on the things I'd rather be doing and less time sitting at work.
