Being a mustachian and the spendypants in the house

[spokey doke]

Hey,

DW and I are both frugal by nature (but both have our indulgences too) and are pretty much on the same page, money-wise.  We are actually past our FIRE number, but both work still.  Our stache continues to rocket upwards, and I keep getting the itch to indulge a bit more than she is interested in, which is not only a slight conflict, but guilt inducing for me (although...come to think of it, she does just spend money on a number of things without any consultation, while I struggle with and try to negotiate a couple larger purchases (mostly outdoor gear and such that I will use regularly and which will contribute to my mental and physical health)).

We also each have of our own personal accounts, which were designed to cover little things that we don't want to have to justify to the other...if its personal money...do whatever you want.  But the current couple of purchases are a bit bigger than the personal account will cover, although our stache and regular budget can do so easily.

I'm not looking for a solution so much as commiseration...I still identify as mustachian, but struggling with the potential label of spendypants.

Others???

[TartanTallulah]

I make wise purchases that enhance my life.
You will fritter money away if I don't keep hold of the purse strings.
He/she is a rampant spendypants.

;-)

[Zamboni]

Save up the money in your personal account . . . problem solved.

If you don't think that is possible at the current rate going into the slush fund personal accounts, would it be reasonable to increase your respective allowances?

In other words, you could say "I've noticed we have $XXX more dollars that we need now, can we up the amount going into each of our personal accounts by $100 per month starting this month?" (or $50 or $500 or whatever amount increase makes sense.)

[RedmondStash]

Screw the labels. Money is a tool. You conserve it for when you need it, and you use it when it benefits you.

I am a tremendous spendypants in some ways, but I am on track to FIRE. If you're on track with your FIRE goals, I say be a little more of a spendypants if it makes you happy. You don't have to live by the rules of anyone else on this forum; you just have to try to live the life that produces the most happiness for you. Of course, harmony with your spouse is part of that, as is taking Future You's needs into account. But with those things in balance, I personally believe in a little pleasant hedonism.

Moderation in all things, including moderation.

[h82goslw]

Screw the labels. Money is a tool. You conserve it for when you need it, and you use it when it benefits you.

I am a tremendous spendypants in some ways, but I am on track to FIRE. If you're on track with your FIRE goals, I say be a little more of a spendypants if it makes you happy. You don't have to live by the rules of anyone else on this forum; you just have to try to live the life that produces the most happiness for you. Of course, harmony with your spouse is part of that, as is taking Future You's needs into account. But with those things in balance, I personally believe in a little pleasant hedonism.

Moderation in all things, including moderation.

+1

[RobFIRE]

Yes, I agree that money is a tool. Therefore once you are well beyond subsistence/mandatory costs and have savings set up, so and into discretionary/luxury spending, you should make a judgement as to whether a discretionary purchase is worth it versus other options, including opportunity cost of having that money (and interest/investment returns) in the future. Whether the purchase is $1 or $100,000 it is still a judgement as to whether it is worth it, and if it's worth it to you, then it's worth it.

The only final step, when the cost is not trivial, is to look at any option to get a better price e.g. buying quality used, which depending on the purchase may or may not be feasible.

[KungfuRabbit]

I struggle with this as well.

We are like 55% or so savings rate. You know how many times I've argued with myself that if I went crazy spendypants on a few things we'd still be at a 50% savings rate?

If you're on track, or even better have your numbers....screw it and spend.

[DarkandStormy]

I understand her side a bit - if we up our annual spending from $x to $x+y then maybe we've moved our target FIRE number out a bit.  But it sounds like these are one time, personal purchases.  I don't see the problem especially you two are both working still.  It'd be one thing if you stopped saving all together to drop several grand on toys and such but if you're still saving a good amount and have already hit your FIRE number....what's the big deal?

Perhaps negotiate a larger amount to your personal accounts as a "celebration" of hitting FIRE?  "Hey, we've hit our FIRE number and it continues to grow, maybe we can move 5% (or some number) more into our personal accounts?"  I don't know, just an idea.

[spokey doke]

I basically agree with these sentiments...and I think a bunch of the guilt I experience is self imposed.  It's funny, I just finally felt that I had justified/rationalized the biggest of the purchases I wanted to make and decided exactly what to get (something that, while I would like DW to partake in, she claims no interest)...I now suddenly feel like I could take it or leave it.

Perhaps the whole research and decision making process (the thrill of the chase) was a part of what I was after.

This has happened before, thinking..."Ya, I don't need that," congratulating myself, and proceeding to take a fall back that includes a number of smaller purchases, entirely guilt free ("look at all the money I just didn't spend!").  Perhaps the big purchase was just playing the role of paving the way for the others ("O.K., I'm putting off the idea of getting X, so let's just get Y & Z this year, and I'll put away more personal money for X for later").