It seems to me that the real problem from your perspective is not the expenses themselves. It's that your daughter makes it impossible for you to be generous, because she pre-emptively demands and expects gifts you would have liked to *offer*. It's not about your money (which you have control over), it's about her attitude (which you do not have control over). If I'm right, that puts you in a really tough spot.
Here are various ideas that might or might not be workable for you. Take what seems helpful and ignore the rest!
-Definitely ignore all after-the-fact whining and hinting about how expensive something was, or respond as others suggested with "Lesson learned" messages.
-Raise the overall issue directly with your daughter. "You usually ask me to buy things that are part of your plans before I have the chance to offer. That makes it impossible for me to be generous, and instead I feel like a vending machine. Can you tell me your plans without asking for anything?" or maybe even, "From now on, if you make plans based on expecting contributions from me, I won't help."
-Simply say no to all her requests. Put your generosity to work in other ways: take your grandson on outings, have him over to your place to visit, invest in a 529 plan, save up to offer him a trip when he's older, give him books, later on give him music lessons, etc.
-Pretend your daughter didn't ask for anything, then decide what you would have offered to do/give. Do that and no more. For instance, if my 1yo grandson were coming for a week-long visit, I'd borrow (or buy second-hand) a portacrib and a booster seat. I'd make sure there was a toddler-safe area for him to roam and play in. I'd borrow some books from the library.
It's mystifying to me how your daughter developed this habit after being brought up frugally by you. I wonder if it would be fruitful for you to think about that, as a possible path towards changing the dynamic between the two of you. (To be clear, I mean think about it for yourself--you don't owe us internet strangers any details you don't want to share.)
Good luck!