Author Topic: Anyone regret leaving a job?  (Read 3936 times)

mx711yam

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Anyone regret leaving a job?
« on: October 24, 2016, 07:55:13 AM »
So I took a few months off, and decided not to go back.  My wife works part time but makes enough to pay our bills so anything I earn will be extra.  So we decided I would start a company, to which I am in the waiting process right now to get the license through the State, should be a couple more months.

I was a cop, and I left for many reasons.  I had definitely become burned out, and we were having MANY more physical and verbal confrontations with the public than when I started 8 years ago.  I was making very good money at the end of it, 90k a year, and now I find myself having emotional mood swings trying to figure out if I screwed up and made the wrong decision.  It's very hard to walk away from that kind of money to start a business since I have no idea how much I will make.  I am also of the personality type that the grass isn't always greener, and I hate change.  I can't figure out if all this is because I'm sitting here in limbo waiting for a license before the company can actually get going or if I will just always second guess whether I made the right decision.  Also I had been a cop since I got out of college, so it was the only real job I had ever had.  That probably also contributes to me being scared to enter the private field.

I also feel like a bum sitting around all day while my wife works 2 days a week.  Although I do watch our children those 2 days a week which has been really cool since I used to work 50 hours a week minimum so didn't get to see them as much as I would have liked.

mskyle

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2016, 08:22:05 AM »
I've left many other jobs since (mostly under my own steam and a couple of layoffs and non-renewed contracts), and I've always felt like it was the right thing for me to do, with the exception of my first job after college. I was there less than two years, not eight, but maybe leaving your first real job always feels bad!

Is there anything stopping you from getting a job right now? Just A Job, not a big career make-or-break kind of thing. If you're actually sitting around all day five days a week and won't be able to start your business for a few months, seasonal retail jobs are ramping up this time of year. Maybe you could do temp work as a security guard or something. Or volunteer somewhere (although onboarding for volunteers can take a while).

It's not like sitting around doing nothing is your only option while you wait for your license to come through. Just do something. You'll have a lot less time to spend dwelling on your decision.

DoubleDown

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2016, 09:01:15 AM »
Is there anything stopping you from getting a job right now? Just A Job, not a big career make-or-break kind of thing.

+1

You could also use this time to make sure you are ready to launch your business. Do you have experience running a business, are you prepared for or do you understand all the other things needed to run a business besides the subject area itself? For example, if you were going to do something in private security, are you also up to speed on the finance side of the business, taxes, how to incorporate, liability issues, employment and hiring laws (if you'll have employees), etc.?

Also, it's completely normal and expected that you'll miss certain parts of the job or wonder if you made the right choice. Given your description of how the job was (understandably) affecting you, it sounds like leaving was best and inevitable. But you'll always still miss the good parts, especially when it was such a defining part of who you are and demanded most of your time. I retired early from a very great career in government and still miss certain aspects of it, but I know that I absolutely made the right choice to leave.

ooeei

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2016, 09:16:23 AM »
Of all the times to quit being a cop, this seems like a pretty good one.  They have NOT been getting good press recently.  Expectations keep going up, and all it takes is one wrong phrase or move (or one that looks wrong in a 5 second video/audio clip to an uneducated viewer) to have millions of people want you put in prison (or worse).  It really blows my mind that there are any cops left right now.

mx711yam

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2016, 12:35:05 PM »
Thank yall for the replies so far!

So I actually left as did another guy who used to be my partner, so we're starting the business together (private security, go figure) because we had been running secondary jobs for cops for years so we are pretty well versed in many aspects of it already and have contacts.  Just about everything is done from a paperwork side except waiting for the licensing.  I have been doing little jobs here and there for family members to make some side money and give me something to do other than sitting around the house and wondering "what if".

I have 2 bachelor degrees, but I have come to see that government kind of sucks the life and freedom of choices from you, which has apparently left me questioning myself and "am I good enough" keeps coming into my head.  Which is insane because I have always felt like I was the best at whatever I did and put my heart into it.

Before I quit, I tried to think of things I could do other than start a private security company and came up blank.  Having my only real work experience as a cop really does seem to have made it hard to branch out and do other things.

CNM

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2016, 01:16:49 PM »
Many former police go in to private investigations.  I am a lawyer and often use PIs to track down and interview witnesses.  Also, depending on your level of police experience, there is a need for qualified police procedure experts to be used for civil litigation. If you google search "police expert," you might come up with a few companies that provide expert directories.  You can contact them to see whether or not your experience level would qualify you and to get more details about what it would entail.

mskyle

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #6 on: October 24, 2016, 01:17:47 PM »
Before I quit, I tried to think of things I could do other than start a private security company and came up blank.  Having my only real work experience as a cop really does seem to have made it hard to branch out and do other things.

But you could do so many different things! This is a limiting mindset and kind of dangerous... I'm redoubling my suggestion that you try out another job in the meantime while you wait for your license to come through. Temp in an office, or work retail, or tend bar, or whatever. Learn to make WordPress websites (you might want a website for your new business). Substitute teach.

I mean, maybe you don't think you would like those things, and you might not. But feeling like your only possible career path is one that burns you out sounds like a scary place to be and I don't think you have to feel that way.

When I was in high school I thought I wanted to be a historian or a marine biologist. By the end of college I was sure I wanted to be a molecular biologist and I worked in MCB labs for about four years, then decided I wanted to be a librarian. I went to school for libraries/was a librarian for ~9 years, but that wasn't working for me either. For the last three years I've been a software developer. Oh and I had various retail and public service jobs in there too. I mean, obviously if I'd been more organized I would probably be retired by now, or at least a lot closer. But don't feel like because you are a cop that's the only thing you can be.

redbird

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #7 on: October 24, 2016, 01:23:19 PM »
I regret leaving my last job in some ways. I really enjoyed living in Japan. It's difficult to legally live in Japan, especially without a job and if you're not a Japanese citizen, so that's why I no longer live there. The job also paid very well.

But the amount of stress the job put on me by the end was astronomical. I was very depressed and had days where I considered suicide. It wasn't worth putting up with that job to get the money or to stay in that location. I'm a lot happier now. I also sleep better, my migraines are gone, and I'm in better shape than I was.

Much Fishing to Do

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #8 on: October 24, 2016, 01:42:00 PM »
So it sounds like you are thinking about regretting leaving a job where you made good money you didn't need by working way more hours than you wanted doing something you didn't like (and from what I would think is a pretty dangerous, stressful, & thankless job in today's environment).

You therefore are the perfect person for quitting a bad job, as you have an inner need to be a provider for your family and have your hands in the workforce in a way that will never allow you to be "a bum".  I think facing change is much larger obstacle for you (and one maybe even be evident in your next career choice be so similar to the last).  See what happens with this venture and go from there with curiosity rather than worry, that is the benefit you have of living in a free society with modest needs and adequate funds....

mx711yam

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #9 on: October 24, 2016, 02:22:33 PM »
So it sounds like you are thinking about regretting leaving a job where you made good money you didn't need by working way more hours than you wanted doing something you didn't like (and from what I would think is a pretty dangerous, stressful, & thankless job in today's environment).


Wow, never put it in those terms, but that pretty much hit the nail on the head.....

I can't tell you guys how much I have appreciated EVERY comment.  It sure is nice to kind of vent and get some perspective from others without having to continually harass my family with my worries and concerns haha.

pbnj

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #10 on: October 24, 2016, 03:02:52 PM »
Quote from Strick is right on.

Being a public servant can suck the life and soul right out of you.  I am a nurse that left patient care and my only regret is not doing it sooner.

Enjoy your children!

accolay

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #11 on: October 25, 2016, 01:41:13 AM »
Don't second guess the decision. Even if you somehow fail at your business, it's far better to have tried and failed then to not have tried at all. Those are the things real regret is made of.

todthedog

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #12 on: October 25, 2016, 09:02:45 AM »
I only regret the things I didn't do, lack of courage, fear of failure etc.Not things I've done and cocked up.
That's life.
Just go for it.
Best of luck.

sleepyguy

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #13 on: October 25, 2016, 09:39:11 AM »
You said it yourself... you were mentally and physically burnt out already... and yes now is a good time as ever to leave law enforcement.

Moneywise you said it yourself your finances are "set" anyway.  Don't stress about it... don't make money for sake of making money.

Side note... my SO knows how you feel... she walked away from a corporate job at about $140K+bonuses.  She was burnt out from long hours and too much travel.  She managed to negotiate a severance package a few months back and she's been very happy and not in any rush to get back into the job market until 2017.

mx711yam

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #14 on: October 25, 2016, 04:14:29 PM »
Thank you guys very much for all the advice.  You pretty much all summed up what I was thinking, but I guess I just needed that affirmation, even if it's from people I have never met!

soccerluvof4

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2016, 04:34:55 AM »
I left my own business after 25 years and no clue what I was going to do BUT knew It would of killed me. I am retired now but I miss the $ coming in and having to live more on a budget but freedom comes at a price that I am willing to pay vs stressing everyday about a job I hated for the last 10 years.

grizz

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Re: Anyone regret leaving a job?
« Reply #16 on: October 26, 2016, 08:22:19 AM »
Are there any colleges/universities near you?  A lot of cops transition over to being campus police--way less dangerous and the benefits are usually good. Just a thought.