Aaaaarrrggghhhh! We don't need more stuff!!

[Pizzabrewer]

Sorry but I just need a place to vent.

Yes, I know the standard advice.  My wife and I need to communicate more.

We were having a great February, hardly spending anything other than essentials.

We recently moved to our new house.  In the mail came a $50 gift certificate to a local furniture store.  I knew I should have shredded it when it came.  My wife took it tonight and bought 2 new lamps, and "only spent $50 because we had $50 off" (so $100 for 2 lamps).

I asked "where do we need them?"

The answer "I don't know yet".

I just did a quick inventory, we have 7 functional lamps in the house, plus all the ceiling lights.  Part of our new life is supposed to be downsizing and economizing.  WE DO NOT NEED MORE STUFF!!

Sorry.  Just had to get that off my chest.

[PAstash]

Hey brother i hear you. For some reason we needed a soap dispenser for dish detergent which comes in a plastic container that dispenses detergent. Go figure.

[alleykat]

Those sales and coupons are hard to resist. Because after all, it's a savings. Ugh.  Those marketers know what they are doing.

Edited to say - this is the reason why I unsubscribed to most store emails.  I have a hard time resisting them. And when I see something I have to have, I don't rest until I get it. 

[Laura33]

Sorry but I just need a place to vent.

Yes, I know the standard advice.  My wife and I need to communicate more.

We were having a great February, hardly spending anything other than essentials.

We recently moved to our new house.  In the mail came a $50 gift certificate to a local furniture store.  I knew I should have shredded it when it came.  My wife took it tonight and bought 2 new lamps, and "only spent $50 because we had $50 off" (so $100 for 2 lamps).

I asked "where do we need them?"

The answer "I don't know yet".

I just did a quick inventory, we have 7 functional lamps in the house, plus all the ceiling lights.  Part of our new life is supposed to be downsizing and economizing.  WE DO NOT NEED MORE STUFF!!

Sorry.  Just had to get that off my chest.

Aarrgghh.  I feel you -- I have started intercepting and pitching the mail myself.  Part of it is because DH/kids love the "money mailer" and collect piles of coupons for stuff we don't need.  But part of it is that *I* see this stuff, and then when I have my moment of weakness, there's this lovely marketing idea lurking ("man, I don't feel like cooking tonight -- wait, I have this coupon, it's a 'deal'. . . .").  I've even started ditching coupons (physical and email) from places I shop frequently -- yes, we do periodically need stuff at Lowe's, but I don't need to look at an ad in my in-box every. single. freaking. day when I might need something in 2-3 months.

I think the larger point of all this marketing is to always have some part of your brain thinking of all the cool stuff that is out there that you can buy, even when you're not conscious of it.  It's been sort of amazing to see what a difference cutting out all that crap has made to my mental state.

[golden1]

We made a rule after a major declutter a few years ago.  If something comes in, something else has to go out. 

[Mezzie]

Ha!

My husband and I are in a holding pattern regarding floor lamps. I HATE them. He wants two. This debate is paused until we get an electrician to fix our dead outlet where the hypothetical lamps would be plugged in.

Seriously...one of the big draws of this house was that it didn't need any floor lamps. Gah!

[Pizzabrewer]

Ha!

My husband and I are in a holding pattern regarding floor lamps. I HATE them. He wants two. This debate is paused until we get an electrician to fix our dead outlet where the hypothetical lamps would be plugged in.

Seriously...one of the big draws of this house was that it didn't need any floor lamps. Gah!

We got 'em all.  Table lamps, floor lamps, bookshelf lamps.  I miscounted last night, we actually had 9 so now it's 11 total.  1200 square foot house with 5 rooms (not counting kitchen and bathrooms).

We are well-lit.

Sigh.  I've mentally dropped it at this point, I love her dearly and it's not worth the stress.  At least it's only 50 bucks.

[Txtriathlete]

Ha!

My husband and I are in a holding pattern regarding floor lamps. I HATE them. He wants two. This debate is paused until we get an electrician to fix our dead outlet where the hypothetical lamps would be plugged in.

Seriously...one of the big draws of this house was that it didn't need any floor lamps. Gah!

We got 'em all.  Table lamps, floor lamps, bookshelf lamps.  I miscounted last night, we actually had 9 so now it's 11 total.  1200 square foot house with 5 rooms (not counting kitchen and bathrooms).

We are well-lit.

Sigh.  I've mentally dropped it at this point, I love her dearly and it's not worth the stress.  At least it's only 50 bucks.

Not sure where $50 falls on your scale of "there goes the food budget" to "meh, rounding error" but this journey we are on is not a straight line. It twists and turns and sometimes nosedives. We all have setbacks.

Now I hear there's this thing called Craigslist where you can sell old lamps...

[LZZ]

I still subscribe to some email coupons at stores I frequent, but I have them re-directed to trash (which auto deletes after a month).
If i need something at say bed bath beyond I go through my trash mailbox to see if there is a 20% coupon lurking in there.
It really has helped me buy things I don't need, but still save on things I do need!
   

[GoBigRed]

We made a rule after a major declutter a few years ago.  If something comes in, something else has to go out. 

I like this rule.  I think I need to try and put into practice. 

[lthenderson]

I'm older than many on this forum. From experience, $50 for a happy wife is money well spent. Now go home and tell your wife how much you love those new floor lamps!

[BTDretire]

I'm older than many on this forum. From experience, $50 for a happy wife is money well spent. Now go home and tell your wife how much you love those new floor lamps!

  I think he might have a difficult time with that, she will think he is being sarcastic, no matter how hard he tries!
On my plate, I noticed my wife's clothes migrating into my part of the closet. I counted 70 pairs of pants hanging.
 That is not all of them she also has them in the dresser and on the dresser. Most of them were a 'deal' bought at
salvation army or goodwill, but still! I guess that helps. ;-(

[FireHiker]

I am the one in my house who wants to get rid of stuff, and my husband is the one who isn't as on board, but he's getting there (slowly). He DID accept his friend's offer of a 3D printer but at least it was free, so I think I'm just grateful he won't be going out and buying one himself, which would probably happen eventually anyway.

Good heavens, BTDretire, 70 pairs of pants!!! I think even if I include the things that DON'T fit across three sizes, I could only get to half that. It's a good thing your wife shops at goodwill at least.

[BTDretire]

I am the one in my house who wants to get rid of stuff, and my husband is the one who isn't as on board, but he's getting there (slowly). He DID accept his friend's offer of a 3D printer but at least it was free, so I think I'm just grateful he won't be going out and buying one himself, which would probably happen eventually anyway.

Good heavens, BTDretire, 70 pairs of pants!!! I think even if I include the things that DON'T fit across three sizes, I could only get to half that. It's a good thing your wife shops at goodwill at least.

  You want to talk about purses? She only carries one small purse, usually until it's worn out. But again I'm sure I could find at least 8 in the closet, and they are all larger purses, not what she normally uses.
 Again, a 'deal' at one of the second hand stores.
  Just her quirk, she actually been very thrifty over the last 30 years, a little less now that we are there.

[Prairie Stash]

I'm older than many on this forum. From experience, $50 for a happy wife is money well spent. Now go home and tell your wife how much you love those new floor lamps!

From experience I find happy husbands are equally important,. Foot massages are free, there's lots of ways to make a partner happy.

I don't think it was the $50 that's the problem, its the extra clutter in the house. Some people like sparse furnishings, some like lots of items in a room. Both partners need to be happy with how the house is laid out.

[Pizzabrewer]

I don't think it was the $50 that's the problem, its the extra clutter in the house. Some people like sparse furnishings, some like lots of items in a room. Both partners need to be happy with how the house is laid out.

Well it's both.  When we moved we got rid of a lot of stuff out of necessity and design.  We downsized from 1800 square feet to 1200.  There's still plenty of unopened moving boxes in the basement.  So it was a surprise to me that new lamps were even on our radar.  So yeah, more stuff/clutter is an irritant.  Spending $50 on something we don't need was also frustrating. 

The new lamps are sitting on the dining room table waiting for their proper spot.  I fear now the need to buy a couple of small tables to put them on.

On the other hand, she has done 90% of the work laying out the house the way she likes.  Soooo, like I said, I've decided not to make a stink.

Not sure where $50 falls on your scale of "there goes the food budget" to "meh, rounding error" but this journey we are on is not a straight line. It twists and turns and sometimes nosedives. We all have setbacks.

Now I hear there's this thing called Craigslist where you can sell old lamps...

No, we won't go hungry, but $50 is definitely more than a rounding error in our budget.  To me it was the same as putting the $50 through a shredder.   

Calm, I am remaining calm....

[lthenderson]

I noticed my wife's clothes migrating into my part of the closet. I counted 70 pairs of pants hanging.

Out of two full sized closets, I have about 1/3 of one closet so I can relate. However, the Mrs. still wants to work while I'm content enjoying other pursuits so I don't complain about that either.

[RyanAtTanagra]

We got 'em all.  Table lamps, floor lamps, bookshelf lamps.  I miscounted last night, we actually had 9 so now it's 11 total.  1200 square foot house with 5 rooms (not counting kitchen and bathrooms).

We are well-lit.

Get the highest watt bulbs you can for all of them, turn them all on, and let her come home to you reading a book with sunglasses on.  Not sure what this will accomplish, but at least it'll be funny.  If you can't change a situation, at least make it so you can laugh about it :-)

[boarder42]

We got 'em all.  Table lamps, floor lamps, bookshelf lamps.  I miscounted last night, we actually had 9 so now it's 11 total.  1200 square foot house with 5 rooms (not counting kitchen and bathrooms).

We are well-lit.

Get the highest watt bulbs you can for all of them, turn them all on, and let her come home to you reading a book with sunglasses on.  Not sure what this will accomplish, but at least it'll be funny.  If you can't change a situation, at least make it so you can laugh about it :-)

so compound a 50 dollar problem by buying old outdated lightbulbs and running up the power bill.  i find nothing about that situation funny.l

[Cranky]

We got 'em all.  Table lamps, floor lamps, bookshelf lamps.  I miscounted last night, we actually had 9 so now it's 11 total.  1200 square foot house with 5 rooms (not counting kitchen and bathrooms).

We are well-lit.

Get the highest watt bulbs you can for all of them, turn them all on, and let her come home to you reading a book with sunglasses on.  Not sure what this will accomplish, but at least it'll be funny.  If you can't change a situation, at least make it so you can laugh about it :-)

so compound a 50 dollar problem by buying old outdated lightbulbs and running up the power bill.  i find nothing about that situation funny.l

Or, y'know, buy the nice bright LED bulbs?

I dunno - I do live in a dim and cloudy area, and it gets on my nerves in the winter. I also find the overhead lights pretty annoying. I have a small house and we've got more that 11 lamps in here. In fact, I can see 4 lamps in this very room - a floor lamp, a task lamp on the table, a small lamp on top of the bookcase, and small lamp by the front door.

[boarder42]

We got 'em all.  Table lamps, floor lamps, bookshelf lamps.  I miscounted last night, we actually had 9 so now it's 11 total.  1200 square foot house with 5 rooms (not counting kitchen and bathrooms).

We are well-lit.

Get the highest watt bulbs you can for all of them, turn them all on, and let her come home to you reading a book with sunglasses on.  Not sure what this will accomplish, but at least it'll be funny.  If you can't change a situation, at least make it so you can laugh about it :-)

so compound a 50 dollar problem by buying old outdated lightbulbs and running up the power bill.  i find nothing about that situation funny.l

Or, y'know, buy the nice bright LED bulbs?

I dunno - I do live in a dim and cloudy area, and it gets on my nerves in the winter. I also find the overhead lights pretty annoying. I have a small house and we've got more that 11 lamps in here. In fact, I can see 4 lamps in this very room - a floor lamp, a task lamp on the table, a small lamp on top of the bookcase, and small lamp by the front door.

highest watt never = LED bulb.

brightness is a differnt subject.

[accolay]

For us, it happens to come in Facebook feeds instead of mail ads, and most of it is fad health shit.

But, I just got a gimmee to get rid of the fucking soda stream this weekend. She hasn't used it in probably almost two years.

[Pizzabrewer]

For us, it happens to come in Facebook feeds instead of mail ads, and most of it is fad health shit.

But, I just got a gimmee to get rid of the fucking soda stream this weekend. She hasn't used it in probably almost two years.

Ha!  Soda Stream!!  She was sure I'd want one, fortunately she asked before buying one for me as a gift.

More clutter that would never get used.

[accolay]

Yeah. It was bought before we were married, but it has not been used and I'm tired of looking at it. Hopefully I can get close to my asking price on C-list.

I do understand the "happy wife, happy life" concept posted earlier, but I don't think more stuff contributes to an extra amount of real happiness.

[WildJager]

My wife and I are both pretty minimalist, so it makes our household very smooth in regards of this kind of thing.

Our extended family, on the other hand, is not the same.  Christmas gifts!  Ugh.  We've tried to press the point to both of our families that we have all we need, so if they feel the need to give us gifts please make them consumables.  We cook a lot, so we get fancy oils and the like which is great.

However, some family members insist on getting us stuff.  The unfortunate part is that these items usually just get placed into a box and we slowly sell or regift them.  I feel guilty about that, but there's not much we can do.

[JoJo]

My parents in their early 80's crack me up.  Mom loves Kohls.  She keeps on getting all these coupons and then there's senior day.  So she comes home and tells dad "I saved $40!" and Dad always replies "How much did you spend?"   She has way too many clothes and is quasi hoarder.  I have those tendencies too but trying to break them - Have a carload of clothes and other household goods on the way to Goodwill this weekend.

[FireHiker]

I am the one in my house who wants to get rid of stuff, and my husband is the one who isn't as on board, but he's getting there (slowly). He DID accept his friend's offer of a 3D printer but at least it was free, so I think I'm just grateful he won't be going out and buying one himself, which would probably happen eventually anyway.

Good heavens, BTDretire, 70 pairs of pants!!! I think even if I include the things that DON'T fit across three sizes, I could only get to half that. It's a good thing your wife shops at goodwill at least.

  You want to talk about purses? She only carries one small purse, usually until it's worn out. But again I'm sure I could find at least 8 in the closet, and they are all larger purses, not what she normally uses.
 Again, a 'deal' at one of the second hand stores.
  Just her quirk, she actually been very thrifty over the last 30 years, a little less now that we are there.

Ha ha, I have one purse, with two broken zippers, and I still can't be bothered to replace it. I actually wish I had a back-up, but nope, just one!

[Cassie]

Maybe the lamps were old and she is trying to freshen a room up. I would just donate a few of the old lamps that you both agree can go. Small items like lamps, tablecloths, etc can give a room a fresh, nice look.

[frugledoc]

I'm a wannabe minimalist and my wife is a hoarder.
Over the last year my home office gradually got so full of clutter that I couldn't even get into it.
Eventually I cracked and asked to move the junk up to the attic but was told the attic was full.
On checking, I discovered the attic full of empty boxes which had been hoarded, so easily sorted out in the end.

[Retire-Canada]

I'm a wannabe minimalist and my wife is a hoarder.
Over the last year my home office gradually got so full of clutter that I couldn't even get into it.
Eventually I cracked and asked to move the junk up to the attic but was told the attic was full.
On checking, I discovered the attic full of empty boxes which had been hoarded, so easily sorted out in the end.

That's bought you 6 months. You haven't "solved" anything. I had a hoarder in the family for many years. It's ugly and difficult to deal with it. The problem was never solved. There was a divorce and she moved out to hoard in someone else's family.

[Morning Glory]

I am the minimalist and H is more of a spender/ hoarder. He has gotten better recently, but just went out and bought a new chainsaw because it was on sale. He has 4 chainsaws now. Gets mad when I ask him to get rid of the old/ broken/ duplicate stuff lying around. Also wants to build another building so he can have room to work on cars. Does not believe me that there is room in the existing buildings if he just would get rid of some of his crap.

[FireHiker]

I am the minimalist and H is more of a spender/ hoarder. He has gotten better recently, but just went out and bought a new chainsaw because it was on sale. He has 4 chainsaws now. Gets mad when I ask him to get rid of the old/ broken/ duplicate stuff lying around. Also wants to build another building so he can have room to work on cars. Does not believe me that there is room in the existing buildings if he just would get rid of some of his crap.

I feel your frustration! My husband isn't much of a spender, but he is the KING of keeping things "just in case". The old/ broken/ duplicate stuff makes me crazy.

[loraine]

Lol :) I  can feel your frustration. Unfortunately, I was a keeper too. For the sake of memories, my attic was piled up with a lot of memorabilia. In the end, it was so piled up we hardly had enough space to walk around the attic. When it got unbearable I decided to do something about it and started decluttering the whole house. I started with the attic by referring this decluttering blog I found online ( http://www.redbins.ca/clean-declutter-attic/ ) and gradually worked my way down to all the other rooms. This is sort of an annual ritual now and a joke in the family but at least the house is much organized now.

[retired?]

Yes, you and your wife need to communicate better.  Nah, that's not my advice, whether true or not.  Just poking fun at the usual response here ..... that you've clearly observed.  Just a few comments with small bit of ideas.

 - my wife used to say "look, I saved X today".  She got this mentality from her mom.  Over the years I have been able to get her to come around by nicely making fun of that idea.  "no, you spent Y".  Her mom is the worst, partially from a lack of other interests and partly b/c it simply "makes her feel good".

 - my wife now agrees that the posted price or even the discounted price doesn't matter.  And, that it's the value one independently places on an item that should steer whether to buy or not.

 - I stopped all email subscriptions, except for local Groupon.  Even this is a bit annoying.  So, what I've gotten myself to do is quickly ask 'is there anything I need now or soon?".  If no, then delete.  Sometimes they are useful, though.

 - I don't use FB since I think it can be a time sink (like this forum if you aren't careful), but I do see all the ads when my wife is scanning through messages.  Even if off FB, I often see her 'shopping'.  I ask 'why are you shopping?  Do you need something?"..... usual response 'oh, I'm just looking'.  I don't know if it's evolutionary(hunter/gatherer) or to fill some other void, but a lot of people shop for the sake of shopping.  Then, at best they get 1/5, maybe 1/3, selling it used.

 - The lamp example made me think of when I recently cancelled SiriusXM.  I told the rep that I couldn't afford it (hoping that would be enough of an explanation to get her to not push it).  She offered a discounted rate.  I said 'I don't find any value in it'.  Kept pushing.  Finally, I said "to me, it would be like buying a bag of air.....any cost is more than I want to pay".  If you don't need something, you don't need it, so it doesn't matter if it appears to be a good deal.  e.g. I have no desire to own a shotgun.  So, other than to flip it, even if offered at $5 I wouldn't buy.  I see TVs on sale....mine works.

Anyhow, you have lots of company and people who understand your view.

[retired?]

Also, I disagree with the notion "if it's only $50 to keep your wife happy, then it's worth it".

I understand (many miss this point) that this is a single example and that she likely applies the same reasoning to many purchases.  So, what is $50 is now multiplied, perhaps many, many times to the point where it is thousands.

Also, to follow up on my post from a few minutes ago, even at $0 many purchases would have negative value.  Maintenance, etc.

[Miss Prim]

If it helps, I personally like a well lit house!  I hate dark houses and am always turning on as many lights as I can in order to see.  I love buying lamps, but I usually buy them at the thrift stores unless they are a heck of a deal new.

You may find a use for all of those lamps!     Miss Prim

[svennman]

I think I have come to realise buying stuff is like eating, it is really hard to not do it and every choice both can make you happy and be the road to bad habits.

Other habits (drinking etc) are things that you can both stop doing and still live and that, most, people will understand that you can be a normal person, but have to go cold turkey or you will kill yourself. Very few people are going to bug a former alcoholic that they aren't coming out on a pub crawl. On the other hand few mothers (or at least Scandinavian mothers) are going to understand if you say you can't eat that extra portion of super rich food. Similarly, that buy 2 and get one free deal seems so good. If we could just go cold turkey, never buy anything again, including food. But that's pretty unrealistic.

So every time you go to buy food is a risk of buying more than you need (I have like 18 months of non-perishables at home and I live in a dorm room!). It feels sooooooooooo good to make a bargain. I have genuinely saved a lot over the past few years, but at the same time haven't really thought about what to do with my investments etc. Saving money on stuff like toilet paper feels so much more real than money in the bank or stocks that when they go up make you feel irrationally rich and when they go down (or the currency you have your investments in tanks due to a certain Brexit vote) you feel stupid. I guess that is why property will always be very popular it is a tangible asset that you can see and, hopefully, enjoy every day. Trouble is I never jumped on the property bandwagon it seemed everyone I new that did was making crazy money. No assets, no job, no cash down 110% mortgage, rent it out. Strangely enough that led to a small crisis in the UK which the government then bailed out as if the property market had crashed there would have been white collar workers in the streets rioting.

Anyway, how to declutter - MOVE to another country. Moving back and forth has been the only way to curb my hoarding instinct.

[Linea_Norway]

We (DH and I) currently falling for this. It said on FB or something similar that all the restaurants in our local town have a good deal this week. Choose a meal from a limited number of meals and pay only $12 (approximately). DH showed it to me.
I also thought: good deal, maybe we should do that. We have dinner out quite seldom anyway, so this might be a good excuse. But I just realized that getting a certain bargain is not a good enough reason to have to drive 2 x 10kms to town to buy 2 x $12 dishes + 2 x $x for drinks.

[Roadrunner53]

Have been trying to downsize for a few years now. Sold a bunch of crap on ebay. Hub has TONS of tools associated with the HVAC trade and I sold a boatload of stuff. The garage looks like a car repair garage. Professional toolboxes on wheels all walls lined with Rubbermaid cabinets full of crap. When I say crap, I mean tools, meters, parts, new stuff in boxes. Just so much STUFF! Hub is retired and has weeded and weeded and we sold a lot but there is no end to it. I got burned out on ebay but want to start again. He also has two professional type riding lawn mowers and snow blower in the garage and two good size sheds full of stuff. My mother passed away a few years back and we dragged home some of her stuff still waiting to be sorted thru. OMG, how do people deal with this stuff? It is just the two of us and more stuff than you can imagine. When my mom passed we had to clean out her whole house in a very short time. We called this organization who came with a truck and spent the whole day loading up everything. They said they never saw so much stuff in one small house and they do this stuff all the time! My Hub rented a dumpster and cleaned out the whole basement by himself. Up and down the basement stairs hundreds of times. He filled a giant, not small dumpster completely up. We also had to hire another place to remove an ancient, like 60 year old chest freezer out of the basement and some mattresses. The freezer weighed a million pounds and it took 4 burley guys to get it out of the basement. I have to get my ass in gear and start hoeing out. We also gave a ton of stuff to the Vietnam Vets who pick up at your house. In the past I have donated boatloads to Goodwill too. We still have too much!

[SC93]

I hate light but I have a love of old floor lamps that also light up at the base. My wife hates when I see one at the antique store because if it's not like one we already have, I'm buying it. And if it doesn't have a price on it she is like, "Let's see what the price is". I don't know why.... I'm buying it no matter the price. lol I wish I had a $50 off coupon for the antique stores.

[Rosy]

Maybe the lamps were old and she is trying to freshen a room up. I would just donate a few of the old lamps that you both agree can go. Small items like lamps, tablecloths, etc can give a room a fresh, nice look.

This ^^^
Just because you have lamps, doesn't mean you have the right lamp for the room/task. The right lighting is important and maybe it's time to get rid of two of your old ones - no need to add to the clutter.
I insist on buying the daylight bulbs, they are a bit more expensive, but oh what a difference they make for reading and projects. Your eyes don't tire as quickly either when you read for hours.
There is something to be said about having nothing in your house that is not useful or beautiful, preferably both in one.
Besides, a new place begs for a few new things, it is a universal law:)

I get it, you sound a bit like Mr. R. who needs nothing - no replacements and he'll do without or tape it up - whatever, it is serviceable, right:). I go along with it for awhile, sometimes it actually amuses me - just think of the money we are saving:), there is always that.
But then I've had enough - I want a place that makes me happy and inadequate lighting, furniture that is clearly in need of replacement is upsetting for me to live with over the long term.
I also need the occasional pretty thing that makes me smile or spruces up the place.

Current case in point - umm, that kitchen lamp has two busted thingies that are not replaceable - we do need a new light fixture - eventually. As in when I go and buy one, maybe when the third of the five thingies breaks - he's clearly rubbing off on me.

As far as the one in and one out rule - I adopted that concept for my books, because they were creating a space problem at the time. I found it hard to do at first, but is has become my new modus operandi, it works!
I have never understood why people hang on to old lamps or furniture or whatever - it does not make sense to me. Give, donate, sell - I don't care.
There was a reason I replaced it - I want it the hell out of my house.

[Just Joe]

I'm older than many on this forum. From experience, $50 for a happy wife is money well spent. Now go home and tell your wife how much you love those new floor lamps!

  I think he might have a difficult time with that, she will think he is being sarcastic, no matter how hard he tries!
On my plate, I noticed my wife's clothes migrating into my part of the closet. I counted 70 pairs of pants hanging.
 That is not all of them she also has them in the dresser and on the dresser. Most of them were a 'deal' bought at
salvation army or goodwill, but still! I guess that helps. ;-(

No, make use of the lamps quietly (read near one). Then let her know that you like the lamps after all. Then move on. And be more careful about letting coupons into the house. ;)

DW and I are pretty good about just pitching the junkmail without ever looking at it. I want to start subscribing to the local newspaper again but hate the idea of those darn circulars coming into the house.

I have witnessed people (not at our house) starting out their Sunday planning a shopping trip to chase "good deals" for things they did not even know existed before they saw the ads. I don't want to live like that and don't think DW nor I are susceptible to advertising like that.

[Gimesalot]

My DH has too much crap and really likes to buy things that I consider useless.  For example, spherical ice cubes melt slower than normal ice cubes, so we need two silicone spherical ice cube trays.  Now I am in a desperate mode of trying to sell all this useless crap on Facebook.  Of course, they aren't selling because everyone realizes that they are useless so, I am stuck with a lot of it for now.  In the end, most of it will get given away or sent to the thrift store, but I just wish he wouldn't have spent the money in the first place.

This biggest issue though isn't the clutter, it's the inability to stop purchase/consumption.  I told my DH several years ago that when we FIRE, there won't be as much money for trivial expenses.  I tried to get him to cut his purchases of fast food and other crap (tiki shaped Popsicles anyone?), to no avail.  Now that the budget is cut, he is incredibly moody because he can't just buy everything he wants.  That led to some ... discussions...

[Evildunk99]

OP - I hear you! I have lectured my wife to throw away everything in the mailbox with the exception of letters that aren't addressed to either of us.  She gave the expected response of "but what if we need __."  To which I replied that 9/10 coupons can be found online, even mcdonalds coupons!

[dude]

Sore subject for me.  My wife cannot -- simply CANNOT -- resist the urge to buy garbage.  Like I mean stupid shit, useless stuff, stuff that will end up in a landfill within months. I bitch and bitch about it all the time, but to no avail. It pains me because the reality is, we just don't share the same values when it comes to not fucking up this planet any more than it already is. She talks a big game when it comes to cute animals and oh isn't that terrible that those polar bears are starving! but is just utterly incapable of comprehending her role in their demise.  She leaves lights on everywhere, uses a hair dryer every day, leaves windows open during the day with the heat on (because the house needs fresh air!), does an extra rinse cycle for every load of laundry (many loads which consist of just a handful of items), etc., etc., etc. Drives me fucking nuts.

[Roadrunner53]

A lot of this consumerism is due to evil marketing practices that blast our ears from TV commercials, radio commercials, signs, logos. TV commercials tell us how much we need this stuff and the sales! Oh my, there will never be another mattress sale on earth after President's day. We will all be sleeping on rocks! Kids have to have the newest toy that pees its pants and the kid gets to change the diaper or it hatches out of a shell. About two days after the occasion, the kid is bored with it and it goes into the dead toy heap. We are brainwashed!

[JSMustachian]

My wife will tell me sometimes she has a coupon for a percentage off a purchase at some store.

I have two responses:

1. Don't let a good sale get in the way of progress!

If that one doesn't work, proceed to step 2.

2. It's 100% off if you don't buy anything!

[WSUCoug1994]

Hey brother i hear you. For some reason we needed a soap dispenser for dish detergent which comes in a plastic container that dispenses detergent. Go figure.

Hahaha this literally just happened at my house.  I also gained a "olive oil distributing device" for our kitchen that is apparently significantly different than screwing the cap off the bottle. 

[robinsrene]

Wouldn’t this be avoided if both husband and wife sit together and work out a mutual budget?  I might be annoyed if my husband has home decor opinions, but since you do and share the house it’s also mutually fair to agree what goes inside.  I think part of the frustration is the unilateral decisions she’s making here.


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