I'm sorry you had to go through that turmoil, I know how hard those emotions can be. By all external appearances, my career could be viewed as privileged, easy, lucky, and highly successful. What most people would never guess is that along the way I was:
1) Given a pay freeze, even though I was considered and rated a top performer by my company, because the company was having a bad year--I was told "your reward for top performance is that you keep your job"
2) Laid off by said company the following year which I would chalk up to power and political changes beyond my control, again despite top performer status
3) Given a pay *cut* at another company, just a few months after being hired--I successfully fought that by arguing that the ink was hardly even dry on my offer letter, but that again meant no raise.
4) At another company, fired 4 months after being hired, rehired immediately (by my replacement, so essentially demoted), and then a year and a half later fired again (after my replacement was also fired).
5) Had a contract position end due to lack of budget with no new contract or job in sight.
Now, I *do* still consider myself lucky and privileged to have had the opportunities I've had. I also rarely complain, mention or even think about all of those setbacks and challenges. The emotions were often difficult at the time though, especially the firings which were in my opinion highly unjustified. It was very hard emotionally to be suddenly without a job, with two babies and a stay at home mom to support.
I was able to land a good job pretty quickly after each of these events though, and I'd chalk that up to developing very marketable skills. I also chose to enter a field where my position would be a revenue producer, the core of the company's business, rather than something that would be viewed just as a cost, a necessary evil to be reduced whenever possible. They cannot easily outsource my job offshore. I've gotten the top possible performance rating for the last two years and likely to repeat this year, and at the company that laid me off I had the top performance rating 5 years straight leading up to that layoff.
The bottom line for me--I agree that there is no real job security today. You work for yourself, even if you are an employee. There are a lot of things beyond your control. Your career lives and dies based on what you have to offer. I have now worked for five different companies over 20 years, and I am anything but a job hopper--I was with one company for 8 years, I've only quit twice, and one of the companies I quit, I rejoined and I'm still there today.
FI is a great thing and something I very much want to achieve. I would *looooove* to retire and never have to work again. I'm not quite there yet. Until you reach FI, I think it's critical to make and keep yourself marketable, have skills that people want, have stories to tell that make you desirable to new employers, become a top performer. It is not only going to provide more job security (and I would define that as the ability to get a replacement job quickly), but it will also very likely speed your journey to FI.
Emergency funds and low spending are also great, 100% with you on that. Things will go wrong, very few people live a 100% charmed life. Take on the boy scout motto--be prepared.
