A little corporate story...

[Gone Fishing]

Not sure of the source, but had to chuckle a bit at some of the realities in this one...

“Every day, a small Ant arrived at work early and started work immediately, she produced a lot and she was happy. The boss, a lion, was surprised to see that the ant was working without supervision. He thought if the ant can produce so much without supervision, wouldn’t she produce more if she had a supervisor!
So the lion recruited a cockroach who had extensive experience as a supervisor and who was famous for writing excellent reports. The cockroach’s first decision was to set up a clocking in attendance system. He also needed a secretary to help him write and type his reports. He recruited a spider who managed the archives and monitored all phone calls.
The Lion was delighted with the cockroach’s report and asked him to produce graphs to describe production rates and analyze, trends so that he could use them for presentations at board meetings, so the cockroach had to buy a new computer and a laser printer and recruit a fly to manage the It department. the Ant , who had been once so productive and relaxed, hated these new plethora of paperwork’s and meetings which used up most of her time.
The lion came to the conclusion that it was high time to nominate a person in charge of the department where the ant worked. The position was given to the Cicada whose first decision was to buy a carpet and an ergonomic chair for his office. The new person in charge the cicada, also needed a computer and a personal assistant, who he had brought form his previous department. to help him prepare a work and budget control strategic optimization plan..
The department where the ant works is now a sad place, where nobody laughs anymore and everybody has become upset, it was at that time the cicada convinced the boss, The Lion to start a climatic study of the environment. Having reviewed the charges of running the ants department the lion found out that the production was much less than before so he recruited the Owl a prestigious and renowned consultant to carry out an audit and suggest solutions. The owl spent 3 months in the department and came out with an enormous report, in several volumes, That concluded that ” The Department is overstaffed..”
Guess who the lion fired first ?
The Ant of course “Because she showed lack of motivation and had a negative attitude.”

[arebelspy]

Happy ending twist: the ant had been saving for years, stocking up for the lean times, and was FI by that point. She realized she didn't need to work for money anymore and went to cultivate her own ant hill, with pleasure.

[bobechs]

Happy ending twist: the ant had been saving for years, stocking up for the lean times, and was FI by that point. She realized she didn't need to work for money anymore and went to cultivate her own ant hill, with pleasure.

And even nicer; when winter came all the supervisory bugs starved and then shrivelled up into tiny chitinous tangles. The lion went hunting, but the veldt was bare and in the end lion* had to eat out of the hyenas' dumpster.

[* not gonna cross the gender-neutrality enforcement force here, there's already enough to piss off the cat lover's league]

[marty998]

good story. incredibly accurate.

[KMMK]

Yep, very familiar. Interesting story.

[mak1277]

I enjoy being the cockroach in that story :-)

[partgypsy]

It reminds me of this joke

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.
The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles!

Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

[NoStacheOhio]

I enjoy being the cockroach in that story :-)

I'd rather be the owl ;)

[bobechs]

It reminds me of this joke

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.
The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles!

Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

This is a 1980s joke.

National character stereotypes have shifted since then.

Keep the same laff track at the end, though.

[mak1277]

I enjoy being the cockroach in that story :-)

I'd rather be the owl ;)

No way...I've been in management and I've been in consulting...management is WAY better if you're lazy.  Same money and way less time at the office.

[EscapeVelocity2020]

He also needed a secretary to help him write and type his reports. He recruited a spider who managed the archives and monitored all phone calls.

I thought for sure the secretary was going to secretly start killing employees, just like they always do...

[going2ER]

I work for the government and I am certain this first story was written about my department. There are 6 of us that actually work with the users of our program, but about 40 higher ups all with clerical support and consultants and...... and.........

[Kansas Beachbum]

Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

LOL, cause...to really F things up you need to have a consultant...apologies to any Accenture folks out there :-)

It's also like the story (don't know if it's true or not, but who cares) about the early days of the space race.  NASA spent millions of dollars to come up with an ink pen that would work in zero gravity.  The Russians...used a pencil :-)   

[geekette]

It's also like the story (don't know if it's true or not, but who cares) about the early days of the space race.  NASA spent millions of dollars to come up with an ink pen that would work in zero gravity.  The Russians...used a pencil :-)   

Not true.  Why would you not care?

[Kansas Beachbum]

It's also like the story (don't know if it's true or not, but who cares) about the early days of the space race.  NASA spent millions of dollars to come up with an ink pen that would work in zero gravity.  The Russians...used a pencil :-)   

Not true.  Why would you not care?

Because we try to never let the truth get in the way of a good story :-) 

[Taran Wanderer]

There is far too much truth in this thread.

[Silverado]

It's also like the story (don't know if it's true or not, but who cares) about the early days of the space race.  NASA spent millions of dollars to come up with an ink pen that would work in zero gravity.  The Russians...used a pencil :-)   

Not true.  Why would you not care?

Can you also post a link to check if the original story is true? Ants owls cockroaches want to know.

The pencil story is as great as it was when I first heard it. It's a good lesson to keep in mind in product development.