Author Topic: 2029 FIRE Cohort  (Read 62350 times)

henramdrea

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #300 on: January 04, 2020, 10:32:14 AM »
I've been through 2 crashes:  the dot com crash of 1999/2000 and 2008.  I'm still here and still in the market.  All we have to go on is history since no one can predict the future.  History says "sit still and be patient, it'll turn around".  If the market tanks, keep investing, if it goes up, keep investing.

Right now?  Oil and defense stocks.  In one year?  Who knows?!  I think it's always helpful to look for ways to be debt-free, lower your overall cost of living further if you can.

At the end of our 8-9 year plans, the worst case would be getting the OMY's, which I'm fully prepared to do if I have to.

caracarn

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #301 on: January 06, 2020, 02:52:05 PM »
Welcome to 2020! It's our decade!
So just using this to start a conversation I always have every 10 years, but thinking this group might make it a bit more interesting.  I have always gone with the US Naval Observatory and Farmer's Almanac definition of decade, which means we need to get through this year for the star of the 20s.  I appreciate that common usage because of the ease of numbering is that this is the start of the decade, but I say we have another year, and feel I have a lot of smart reasoners to back up my choice.  Curious what the rest of this cohort thinks.  Regardless, 2029 is clearly in that decade and will not be controversial.

BigIslandGuy

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #302 on: January 07, 2020, 08:37:29 AM »
Welcome to 2020! It's our decade!
So just using this to start a conversation I always have every 10 years, but thinking this group might make it a bit more interesting.  I have always gone with the US Naval Observatory and Farmer's Almanac definition of decade, which means we need to get through this year for the star of the 20s.  I appreciate that common usage because of the ease of numbering is that this is the start of the decade, but I say we have another year, and feel I have a lot of smart reasoners to back up my choice.  Curious what the rest of this cohort thinks.  Regardless, 2029 is clearly in that decade and will not be controversial.

I go with the "easy numbering" system. I dont have Farmers almanacs laying around to consult, and I was never fond of my time in the Navy, so .. We are now in a new decade :)     

caracarn

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #303 on: January 07, 2020, 09:08:18 AM »
:)  I know, most do.  Just thought it might result in an fun 2020 kick off discussion.  If you do "easy numbering" (as I think I saw 78% do according to a USA Today poll on the topic) then keeping 2020 as the start of the decade is the method.  If you follow astronomical methods aligning with the physical universe, then 2020 ends the previous decade.  With my engineering mind I tend to lean towards the science rather then follow the bandwagon  :).

DeskJockey2028

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #304 on: January 07, 2020, 09:21:40 AM »
It's all just an arbitrary number anyway. Other cultures aren't even in the same millennium as the the Gregorian calendar. What matters to me mostly is that a goodly chunk of this group will be retired by the end of the next 10 years. :D

bbates728

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #305 on: January 07, 2020, 09:57:15 AM »
Yeah I don't see much of a reason why we would classify the beginning of the 20's as still part of the teens.  I am interested in this scientific reasoning as like DeskJockey pointed out, it is all arbitrary more or less.

caracarn

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #306 on: January 07, 2020, 02:03:55 PM »
Yeah I don't see much of a reason why we would classify the beginning of the 20's as still part of the teens.  I am interested in this scientific reasoning as like DeskJockey pointed out, it is all arbitrary more or less.
Here is the one that started it all back in 1999:

https://web.archive.org/web/20191002112920/http://aa.usno.navy.mil/faq/docs/millennium.php

henramdrea

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #307 on: January 08, 2020, 09:04:27 AM »
Maybe it's more helpful to count down the months until 2029:  108 months.  Think about hitting 99 months...hey, we made it to less than 100 months!  Roughly the middle of October 2020.  Is it technical?  No, probably not, but it helps with the mental grind through the decade.

caracarn

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #308 on: January 08, 2020, 06:34:12 PM »
Maybe it's more helpful to count down the months until 2029:  108 months.  Think about hitting 99 months...hey, we made it to less than 100 months!  Roughly the middle of October 2020.  Is it technical?  No, probably not, but it helps with the mental grind through the decade.
Love it!  I think DeskJockey also had number of days too, or maybe I am thinking of the last MMM post.

DeskJockey2028

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #309 on: January 09, 2020, 03:01:02 AM »
It's 3,279 days to 1/1/29.  You are correct in that I have a countdown. :) 

Maybe it's more helpful to count down the months until 2029:  108 months.  Think about hitting 99 months...hey, we made it to less than 100 months!  Roughly the middle of October 2020.  Is it technical?  No, probably not, but it helps with the mental grind through the decade.
Love it!  I think DeskJockey also had number of days too, or maybe I am thinking of the last MMM post.

caracarn

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #310 on: January 09, 2020, 07:01:09 AM »
So I must say I was pleasantly surprised seeing our NW jump nearly $200K in 2019 despite some heavy expenses for cars, college and me taking a 40% pay cut.  Most of this is market appreciation as my portfolio was up 29.55%, but given the 2018 saw an increase of only $35K this was an eye opener.  I had not posted to the tracking thread since June so things were marching along without me quite understanding the magnitude. 

HeadedWest2029

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #311 on: January 09, 2020, 12:29:05 PM »
I know 2029 is 3,279 days away, but how many on this thread could conceivably pull the plug today and possibly be OK to RE?  Spurred on by @caracarn's impressive 2019 gains.  I probably fit into this camp, but will probably have a few more OMY's (2029 was the original goal)
But...

 - I want to fully fund my kid's college
 - Extra cushion to pay for perks like extra travel, above and beyond normal spending
 - Pad for end of life long term care
 - Somewhat irrational fear of retiring at a market top (even though I'm close to 3.5 WR now)
 - And honestly, a little bit societal fear of being the weirdo to retire at 39 y/o and not being certain on how I'd use all the newfound freedom

I like to think the last one is a small part, but I can't deny it isn't there too


caracarn

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #312 on: January 09, 2020, 12:57:01 PM »
I know 2029 is 3,279 days away, but how many on this thread could conceivably pull the plug today and possibly be OK to RE?  Spurred on by @caracarn's impressive 2019 gains.  I probably fit into this camp, but will probably have a few more OMY's (2029 was the original goal)
But...

 - I want to fully fund my kid's college
 - Extra cushion to pay for perks like extra travel, above and beyond normal spending
 - Pad for end of life long term care
 - Somewhat irrational fear of retiring at a market top (even though I'm close to 3.5 WR now)
 - And honestly, a little bit societal fear of being the weirdo to retire at 39 y/o and not being certain on how I'd use all the newfound freedom

I like to think the last one is a small part, but I can't deny it isn't there too
According to our president is seems my impressive gains were pretty poor, and I, and I dare say we must all be doing something wrong.  After all, he's the president right?

Back to the real world though, I am still about 500K from being able to RE.  Calculator does say I can now do it in 2026 so I have moved up 3 years, but not sure I would.  We are not fully funding the kids college for many reasons, but are helping out.  Some of your other items resonate, but I will be in my 50s at least when I pull the plug so not weirdo stigma to worry about.

DeskJockey2028

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #313 on: January 09, 2020, 01:05:04 PM »
I could pull the plug right now. Today. And I'd probably make it about 4-5 years down the road until I ran out of money.

Give me another 8 years or so though and I should be able to muddle through.

BuffaloStache

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #314 on: January 09, 2020, 03:42:38 PM »
I could pull the plug right now. Today. And I'd probably make it about 4-5 years down the road until I ran out of money.

Give me another 8 years or so though and I should be able to muddle through.

I'm in the same boat. I might be able to stretch it to 6-8 years, but I'm not across the line yet. HeadedWest2029, I doubt you'll need until 2029, even with all of those extra goals! Don't forget to enjoy what you've built!



henramdrea

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #315 on: January 10, 2020, 07:21:03 AM »
I'm about where DJ and Buffalo are:  could we?  Yeah, probably cobble together some sort of retirement far from what I'd like, but selling my huge house, knock off a commute, sell a vehicle, make the kids get jobs....hmm. 

I think I'll wait and let the 'stache curl more on the ends ;)

dogboyslim

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #316 on: January 10, 2020, 02:18:39 PM »
According to our president is seems my impressive gains were pretty poor, and I, and I dare say we must all be doing something wrong.  After all, he's the president right?

Back to the real world though, I am still about 500K from being able to RE.  Calculator does say I can now do it in 2026 so I have moved up 3 years, but not sure I would.  We are not fully funding the kids college for many reasons, but are helping out.  Some of your other items resonate, but I will be in my 50s at least when I pull the plug so not weirdo stigma to worry about.


My 409's doing fine!  Very effective!

talltexan

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #317 on: January 15, 2020, 07:42:42 AM »
I appreciate the earlier posts worrying about the direction the market might take. Indeed a bear market could happen. But the stock market could also go up 35% before it drops 20%, and then how would you buy back in?

However, those of us within ten years of retirement should probably be very discerning about our bond/debt positions. I personally have all my investment accounts allocated 20% to bonds. I outperformed most people I know in 2018, but lagged behind them in 2019.

FI4good

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #318 on: February 05, 2020, 01:33:09 AM »
Hey 29írs,

Hope youíre all living it as best you can.

One of my neighbours has been told his cancer is terminal & there is nothing they can do for him, mid 60ís, what we do is worthwhile to snatch a day, a month , a year , years doing exactly as we please from the ennui of work or the jaws of death.

I think using my simple maths (in an earlier post) i have achieved the point where on average the money makes more money than i invest ( subject to market fluctuations ) .

Right off to the daily merry-go-round.


talltexan

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #319 on: February 05, 2020, 09:06:10 AM »
Indeed my cousin is in her early 50's and just suffered a stroke. Too, too young to be going through that.

SotI

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #320 on: February 05, 2020, 10:05:40 PM »

However, those of us within ten years of retirement should probably be very discerning about our bond/debt positions. I personally have all my investment accounts allocated 20% to bonds. I outperformed most people I know in 2018, but lagged behind them in 2019.
I have about 30% in bonds in my own funds. This is quite conservative, considering that my employer's pension fund is structured to increase bonds share over time: they automatically shift from equity to bonds once I hit age 55 unless I explicitly order them to keep investing in equity - and they will then shift to full bonds when I hit 60 in any case.
So I reckon I got more than enough conservative assets.

I have no gut feeling about the future market, other than that it will be bad - and that feeling I have had since 2009, so what do I know ;-)  I just keep ignoring the ominous sense of doom and keep buying equity according to asset allocation strategy and stop looking left or right or how others are performing.

As for people getting sick and dying in their 50s or 60s: Yes, nowadays this is really too young, and very sad and hard for their families, in particular. However, reaching decrepit old age is also no fun. I guess there is rarely a good age. My father was over 90 when he died. He was only really sick for 4-5 weeks and spent half of that time in a coma; still probably one of the better ways to go, if I compare it to my mother's prolongued wasting away ....

talltexan

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #321 on: February 13, 2020, 09:27:19 AM »
We've managed to find a buyer and get under contract for our old house. (already living in the new one).

closing the last week of March, looking forward to being able to live a more compact life with only one house and restoring our finances to equilibrium.

FI4good

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #322 on: February 14, 2020, 12:53:34 PM »
Hey 29ís
The drudge is getting to me.
Revisited my finances & savings, am clamping down tighter.

If i never invested another $ the glide path is set and my pension yield is enough for me to live on, now today forever ( uk law means no access till 2031 )

The latest game iíve been playing to keep motivated in saving into my post tax account is to think of every sum i save as £/$ per month passive income.

So at 6% every 200 saved would give me 1 per month.

So that is this springs game to keep myself motivated in saving smaller sums, to remind myself every dollar / pound counts.

So far this year in my small account iím £2.50 a month richer forever than i was 6 weeks ago.

 

SotI

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #323 on: February 15, 2020, 10:52:11 AM »
Well , I wish I too could accelerate progress  - alas, the only feasible way would be an early retirement incentive scheme from my company. Unfortunately, they seem to narrow down the options. I am still hoping to slide somehow in by the end of this year. However, colleagues closer to the annual application deadline have already been rejected ... So, probability is going down.

BuffaloStache

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #324 on: February 21, 2020, 10:53:34 AM »
We've managed to find a buyer and get under contract for our old house. (already living in the new one).

closing the last week of March, looking forward to being able to live a more compact life with only one house and restoring our finances to equilibrium.

Good luck, Talltexan! We had a smaller condo, but moved into a larger house last year. Since we have 2 little ones, it makes sense for us, and we still kept the house pretty small and prioritized location (about 1200 sq ft., with unfinished basement potential to add another ~900). We also were able to keep the condo and rent it out, but I know that doesn't make financial sense in every market.

Hey 29ís
The drudge is getting to me.
Revisited my finances & savings, am clamping down tighter.
...

That's one of my favorite things about this thread, FI4good. We can use this space to commiserate with each other, especially since almost every one of us here is in the "hurry up and wait" portion of getting to FI. Setting up your investments, creating a budget, all the initial stuff is exciting, but I think it's this stage in which you really earn the FI. Keep on keepin' on!

DeskJockey2028

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #325 on: February 24, 2020, 06:58:45 AM »
Today's at 2pm local time, we have hit 25% of the way to 1/1/29, from the start of this cohort! ONE QUARTER DONE! Three to go! If our FIRE process was a dollar, this is the first time we'd get enough change out of it to feed a parking meter. Go us!

caracarn

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #326 on: February 24, 2020, 08:55:34 AM »
So as we continue on the "hurry up and wait" of our journey as mentioned above, today (and perhaps into the foreseeable future) looks like it may try our mettle a bit.  Looks like the actual economic impacts of the coronavirus are really starting to take hold with a massive drop in US stocks at the opening bell, and I have several thousand dollars going into the market today as I am trying to work on how I will be funding our investments with our new work roles and having moved our college savings over and no longer saving for that.   With 100% of our savings now going to our savings we are using a "strange" model, but it makes sense to my wife and I though it creates these large deposits (this one is about $2,700 going in today), along with the smaller trickles of a few hundred dollars coming into the 401(k) and our investments from the automated drips from my paychecks (the aforementioned 401(k) each paycheck to get my match as well as a set amount that has been flowing into investments for years of $90/week that is the difference between our old mortgage and our refinanced mortgage that we diverted to savings rather than adding into our spend years ago.  Our 2029 data is the result of the glide path of just those trickles, so these extra $12K+/year that we are diverting from the college savings is gravy and pulls the date up up to 5 years if we can stick with it, but for our sanity we understand that adjusting to a 40% pay cut on my end a year ago still may necessitate some months having to dip into that savings.  The $2,700 above represents the January and February contribution, which is actually running a good 35% ahead of that goal ($1,350/month) but one month was rally $900 and the other was $1,800 so you can see how I can a little disoriented on our trajectory as the variable income of my  wife makes things harder to stick to and the savings valve is our variable "expense" so to speak.  We only use $1,200 per month from her to cover our monthly expense and 100% of my salary, so we still need both jobs to cover our reduced lifestyle after the job changes, but still are unable to cut much more because of the kids and medical and life.

At this point we've had some heated discussions because of our communication style differences where I am just sharing information but my wife feels I am asking for change.  I view my input pointing out added expenses that we could have avoided as food for thought, not decisions points.  She thinks I am being passive aggressive, so trying to find a way to adjust the conversation.  We do stay within our budget most times, but the disconnect seems to be my drive for high levels of optimization against her valid point that we are staying within the budget so stop pushing for more.  At this point this disconnect is more like white noise because we have income and can adjust our plan, but once we hit FIRE it can become a raging storm, so I view this as something we need to be aligned on by that time.  My wife and I have sat down and both seem comfortable with the FIRE expense level which obviously is crucial to set out 25x target, so all should be good, but the fact that we keep hitting this friction honestly has me a bit concerned.  Her style (and where her frustration is being voiced from) is we have made decisions and we are following them so why are we talking about them over and over.  I am more comfortable looking for more and therefore have little joy over when the kids waste a bunch of dinner because they can.  Maybe I just need to figure out how to let it go and not lose the war by harping on the individual skirmishes.  I have no idea if everything I just shared makes any sense to anyone not inside my head, as I do not know if I got them out clearly.  Anyone else running into something similar that is able to comment?

talltexan

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #327 on: February 25, 2020, 03:27:34 PM »
If you and your wife are agreeing to a budget, but then you're changing the budget, I think that's kind of on you.

I always have a tough time justifying our savings rate to our wife (it'd be weak-sauce on this website, but my wife points out all the places it would do good right now). The agreement with the spouse is the most important thing I think.

bbates728

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #328 on: February 26, 2020, 02:29:19 PM »
I definitely empathize with you @caracarn. It is difficult especially in this hurry up and wait phase to just accept that all we can do is wait. I don't feel like I am getting to my goals if I am not working towards them! I also, bring up all the ways that we can do better and my dw comes to the table with a similar mindset as your wife.

She insisted on creating a budget so that she could visualize our efforts and values. I was hesitant to do so because I feel like budgets make people lazy; when you have a budget, why optimize past the budgeted amount? She also felt attacked when I would bring up wanting to do more to optimize our spending. Luckily for me, she is the most understanding person and continued to listen to why I was saying what I was. While she doesn't agree that we should be optimizing past the budget for money's sake (we are around a 65% SR), I did strike gold by talking about the environmental impact of spending less on stuff that we don't really need.

My only advice is to keep conversations like this loving. Nothing costs more than a strained marriage, which I am sure you already know. That simple thing is what got my wife on board with this to begin with and continues to help us align our goals.

aaaaaaand back to waiting...Ö.

HeadedWest2029

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #329 on: February 27, 2020, 07:55:15 AM »
Yeah, @caracarn, you're not alone.  I was / still am super excited about all things personal finance and investing.  My wife...not so much.  So sometimes my 'enthusiasm' feels like a lecture to her or she just plain doesn't care.  Some of us are just wired as optimizers.  For the most part, my spouse is on board with all things FIRE, including spending below our means so I usually only focus on alignment with the big ticket items and then optimize my own side of the equation for smaller stuff.  Honestly though, I think it has just rubbed off over the years because now I think she's more frugal than me.  She was astonished as I calmly shelled out $300 for a new Pixel 3A phone with little thought and she had been agonizing over a $50 purchase earlier in the day.  A good marriage trumps this entire FIRE thing a billion times over

FI4good

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #330 on: February 28, 2020, 02:41:41 AM »
Oh wow ! look at those stocks on sale ..

My purchases this month are buying 10% more shares than last .. wish i had more cash to throw at it. I hope it stays low enough till pay day !

Keep on keeping on . S&P 10,000 by 2029 i recon .

DeskJockey2028

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #331 on: February 28, 2020, 10:22:49 AM »
I had an extra $25 this week so I tossed it in the old Roth.

Look at me, over here, timing the market! ;)

caracarn

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #332 on: March 02, 2020, 08:10:46 AM »
@talltexan , @bbates728 and @HeadedWest2029 Thanks for your responses.

I agree that as I try to further optimize it is on me.  I do keep the conversations loving but seem to have the same result West is that any conversation is perceived as a lecture.  We had a bit of a more spirited discussion since the post when she blurted out that she was not looking to live with her Uncle Leo.  Never met him but I know he was a miser and one of those who counted sheets of toilet paper, so I understood the gist of the remark.  Later in the day when the moment had passed and cooler heads were at work I did raise the fact that I am not doing anything like what I understood Uncle Leo did but am just being mindful and sharing.  Conversation went pretty well and we both got to share a bit more clearly and I do think it helped.   We are not anywhere near the point of this troubling the marriage as I agree that is certainly not worth it and a terrible result.  I am experimenting with a simple side hustle (you can look for my food delivery thread) that I started on Wednesday night and I think will be good to make a bit extra and help goose the savings a bit and provide some extra cash flow.  It is feeding that "working towards it" itch that I do seem to have.  My wife feel the trickle of money is not worth the effort but she said if I want to do it, go for it.  I've learned a lot (even more over the weekend than the long review/info dump I posted in the other thread) and think I have a way to make this work without taking it to the point of causing friction because I am not home and just out working. 

henramdrea

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #333 on: March 02, 2020, 07:53:22 PM »
Talking with one's spouse about finances is a process and takes a lot of patience.  Luckily, my spouse is pretty good with money, understands we need to save, but also spends a lot/most of the budgeted money.  I simply don't buy anything.
She's come around to spending less on groceries, while I'm looking more at DIY-ing things that I can.  I find if I set the example by saying "hey I can do that myself, look how much we saved!"  That motivates her to do the same.  She's competitive and doesn't like being outdone!  Find the motivating factor and use that.

BuffaloStache

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #334 on: March 05, 2020, 03:11:57 PM »
Agreed, being on the same page as your partner/spouse is vital for anyone searching for FI(RE). I also understand the sentiment of TallTexan;

If you and your wife are agreeing to a budget, but then you're changing the budget, I think that's kind of on you.
...

...to a point. I think it's completely reasonable to revisit the budget and attempt to optimize it from time to time. I've found, however, that unless your partner is in the same mindset as you, then you need to make sure that these revisits/discussions are at regular, infrequent intervals. Agreeing to a budget and then saying "we'll review this every 6 months" sets realistic expectations to everyone, and allows your spouse to live within that budget for a while. Setting a regular interval for review also removes a lot of emotion from the revisiting discussion: you aren't likely to harp on individual times when you blew the budget if you stick to your regular interval.

I find that this helps a lot- removing emotions (and blaming/pointing to specifics in general) from a lot of the discussion has helped be a lot when talking with my family about it.

Either way, good luck!

BuffaloStache

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #335 on: March 05, 2020, 03:13:28 PM »
I had an extra $25 this week so I tossed it in the old Roth.

Look at me, over here, timing the market! ;)

I can't believe you are a Market-Timer, DeskJockey :-P.

I was lazy about making my monthly index fund purchase (above and beyond automated withdrawals), and it seems as though that procrastination may have paid off. But we'll see...

EngineerOurFI

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #336 on: March 06, 2020, 12:47:47 PM »
At this point we've had some heated discussions because of our communication style differences where I am just sharing information but my wife feels I am asking for change.  I view my input pointing out added expenses that we could have avoided as food for thought, not decisions points.  She thinks I am being passive aggressive, so trying to find a way to adjust the conversation.  We do stay within our budget most times, but the disconnect seems to be my drive for high levels of optimization against her valid point that we are staying within the budget so stop pushing for more.  At this point this disconnect is more like white noise because we have income and can adjust our plan, but once we hit FIRE it can become a raging storm, so I view this as something we need to be aligned on by that time.  My wife and I have sat down and both seem comfortable with the FIRE expense level which obviously is crucial to set out 25x target, so all should be good, but the fact that we keep hitting this friction honestly has me a bit concerned.  Her style (and where her frustration is being voiced from) is we have made decisions and we are following them so why are we talking about them over and over.  I am more comfortable looking for more and therefore have little joy over when the kids waste a bunch of dinner because they can.  Maybe I just need to figure out how to let it go and not lose the war by harping on the individual skirmishes.  I have no idea if everything I just shared makes any sense to anyone not inside my head, as I do not know if I got them out clearly.  Anyone else running into something similar that is able to comment?

Are you exceeding the budgets you've agreed on?  If so, by how much?  Are you setting a budget and consistently achieving that budget or consistently going 10% over?

If the friction is you're consistently hitting the budget and she doesn't want to talk about it - congratulations, you're marriage is just like mine.  My wife has zero interest in re-re-re-re-re discussing our FI plans and timelines and so on.  She agrees with the plan, she wants the outcome, she's mildly interested in our progress and details - but if I go too far and re-re-discuss things or mildly whine about an expensive month due to car maintenance issue etc. - she gets kind of scared and does not react well as she is concerned I'm being a miser or our financial situation is suddenly bad etc.  We have an extremely good marriage in terms of communication in most respects - but this is an area that somehow hits home for her either due to her dad being unemployed for a year and burning through all their savings when she was a kid or due to impacts of Great Recession - not sure.

My solution if you're consistently hitting budget and/or consistently hitting a number that's a reasonable % over budget (10% let's say) would be to drop it and find an outlet to talk about problems/issues/questions/think out loud (like these forums).  If your budget is consistently 10% over then bump up your savings plans accordingly and just bump out the FIRE date an extra year or whatever.  Not worth more marriage friction in my book.  Now if it's consistently 15-20% or more over budget - then I think you have a problem.

If the issue is your budget/spending is wildly erratic and not even close, my recommendation would be to have a focused sanitized discussion where you outline that if budget continues on this path, FI date is XYZ and if budget is adjusted to this path, fire date is ABC.  And then agree on a budget/FIRE date and agree to have either monthly or quarterly meetings to review together - not a lecture - just a review of current status.

talltexan

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #337 on: March 11, 2020, 09:04:34 AM »
The market downturn may be a great motivator to tighten the budget and buy a few more risky assets at "sale prices."

Or it may motivate your spouse to save a little more than normal to build up an emergency fund in case one of you loses zher job.

FI4good

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #338 on: March 13, 2020, 04:10:03 AM »
Hey 29írs
 Just logged in to my company pension that i pay into monthly.
Itís now worth 3.5% less than the average cost of the S&P 500 trust fund units bought.
Ouch !

DeskJockey2028

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #339 on: March 13, 2020, 06:08:51 AM »
Hey everyone! Just a quick note - on this day in 2017, this cohort was formed! Happy Cohorversary!

FI4good

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #340 on: March 15, 2020, 04:26:54 AM »
Cheers DJ ,
Happy anniversary all.


Started running a temp & cough last weekend , uk gvt advice was to carry on as normal unless youíd been in contact with someone from china , italy or tested positive which i hadn't, although my partner works on public transport & interacts closely with 1000ís of people a day in a tourist hotspot .

Advice changed weds night to self isolate if you have any respiratory illness , so on lock down from then.

Will have done my 7 days since the start of this unknown illness this weekend. Apparently some symptoms will linger such as a cough although you will be virus clear .

Not sure if what iíve had is corona or not , they seem to be saving the tests for people who are ill enough for it to be a risk to life, what iíve had has been a dry cough and a bit of a temperature and feeling tired with no energy . For me my experience with bird flu was far worse where i was in bed for a week and had no appetite.

45 y/o 300lbs , obstructive sleep apnoea ( use machine ) non drinker , non smoker . o2 saturation not been under 90.

Just thought people might find my experience useful ,

cheers FI4

SotI

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #341 on: March 15, 2020, 11:12:56 AM »
@FI4good : I hope you get well soon!
Looking at all what's going on atm, there will be a lot of suffering (personally and economically)everywhere, so I hope you are well looked after and that your partner can stay safe, too.

Best wishes to everyone here!

BuffaloStache

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #342 on: March 29, 2020, 09:52:55 PM »
Ditto to what @Sotl said, feel better and keep us updated, @FI4good!
My family is hunkered down, so far so healthy, and weathering out the storm... Stay healthy everyone!

I had an extra $25 this week so I tossed it in the old Roth.

Look at me, over here, timing the market! ;)

I got a market timing surprise in a big way this week. Apparently my company procrastinated on depositing the 2019-year 401k performance bonus (if my company performs well, we all get an extra bonus dropped right into our 401k accounts) into their employee accounts, and only did so this week! That resulted in a lower 4-figure boost to the 401k, at this time of stock market sale-dom.

mizzourah2006

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #343 on: April 01, 2020, 12:32:20 PM »
Just finished my EOM updates. I was actually scared to do this I started keeping track in 2016, so this is really my first huge downturn, but it wasnít quite as bad as I thought. It set my investment accounts back to about September of last year. 2029 is still in play as before all this the Madfientist lab had me in late 2025. I kind of always assumed something like this would happen that might set me back 2-3 years.

caracarn

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #344 on: April 01, 2020, 12:50:55 PM »
At this point we've had some heated discussions because of our communication style differences where I am just sharing information but my wife feels I am asking for change.  I view my input pointing out added expenses that we could have avoided as food for thought, not decisions points.  She thinks I am being passive aggressive, so trying to find a way to adjust the conversation.  We do stay within our budget most times, but the disconnect seems to be my drive for high levels of optimization against her valid point that we are staying within the budget so stop pushing for more.  At this point this disconnect is more like white noise because we have income and can adjust our plan, but once we hit FIRE it can become a raging storm, so I view this as something we need to be aligned on by that time.  My wife and I have sat down and both seem comfortable with the FIRE expense level which obviously is crucial to set out 25x target, so all should be good, but the fact that we keep hitting this friction honestly has me a bit concerned.  Her style (and where her frustration is being voiced from) is we have made decisions and we are following them so why are we talking about them over and over.  I am more comfortable looking for more and therefore have little joy over when the kids waste a bunch of dinner because they can.  Maybe I just need to figure out how to let it go and not lose the war by harping on the individual skirmishes.  I have no idea if everything I just shared makes any sense to anyone not inside my head, as I do not know if I got them out clearly.  Anyone else running into something similar that is able to comment?

Are you exceeding the budgets you've agreed on?  If so, by how much?  Are you setting a budget and consistently achieving that budget or consistently going 10% over?

If the friction is you're consistently hitting the budget and she doesn't want to talk about it - congratulations, you're marriage is just like mine.  My wife has zero interest in re-re-re-re-re discussing our FI plans and timelines and so on.  She agrees with the plan, she wants the outcome, she's mildly interested in our progress and details - but if I go too far and re-re-discuss things or mildly whine about an expensive month due to car maintenance issue etc. - she gets kind of scared and does not react well as she is concerned I'm being a miser or our financial situation is suddenly bad etc.  We have an extremely good marriage in terms of communication in most respects - but this is an area that somehow hits home for her either due to her dad being unemployed for a year and burning through all their savings when she was a kid or due to impacts of Great Recession - not sure.
Yes, we are in the "your marriage is just like mine" front.  I am always trying to optimize.  She gets irritated saying we are hitting the budget so why are we talking about it again.  I am looking for ways to get even better and she's good with out level of better.

Sorry for the delay, as I was focused elsewhere as the COVID situation set in.

caracarn

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #345 on: April 01, 2020, 12:56:12 PM »
So went into my FIRE date calculator and was pleased to see that now with the 30% down in my holdings I am back to 2029 being my target retirement date.  So it has added three years to my date which had gone down to 2026 with the upturn.  Happy to know that even with the economic disaster things have become I am still on track.

On a personal job front I am blessed to still have a job but we were told to preserve jobs avoid layoffs all are taking pay cuts.  Mine was 10% so not bad by ant means.  Senior execs took 50%, so actually very proud that my company seems to be handling this very well. 

BuffaloStache

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #346 on: April 02, 2020, 04:07:16 PM »
...
On a personal job front I am blessed to still have a job but we were told to preserve jobs avoid layoffs all are taking pay cuts.  Mine was 10% so not bad by ant means.  Senior execs took 50%, so actually very proud that my company seems to be handling this very well.

yikes, sorry to hear about the salary cut, but glad it wasn't too bad, caracarn.

I still have my job now, but was hoping to go for a promotion soon. I'm not holding my breath that my company is going to continue promoting people as usual.

talltexan

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #347 on: April 07, 2020, 12:44:44 PM »
Indeed I had been trying to level up the job before this. I did not succeed, which is actually kinda good for a chaotic moment like we're in now.

BuffaloStache

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #348 on: April 11, 2020, 09:22:53 AM »
...which is actually kinda good for a chaotic moment like we're in now.

Good point, TT. If you get promoted right before your company is considering lay-offs or cutting people, then you look a lot more attractive as someone to cut.

SotI

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Re: 2029 FIRE Cohort
« Reply #349 on: April 12, 2020, 08:18:56 AM »
I suppose I am still on track for 2029, as this has always been my conservative estimate.
I was hoping for some earlier "good case" path but not holding my breath that this would come up.
The key question is how my company will be faring this and next year and if the currently estimated cost cutting will also hit my department, in terms of job security. Seems good for this year, but Things may change if we won't hit our numbers.