Author Topic: 2019 fire cohort  (Read 252855 times)

Half Stached

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1850 on: February 07, 2019, 02:54:55 PM »
I'll admit - I enjoy seeing our list slowly get filled in over the year. Watching the 2018 thread get filled in kept up my motivation last year!

Trifele

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1851 on: February 07, 2019, 03:41:15 PM »
I like seeing the list get filled in too.  How about -- we just update the list when someone actually FIREs?  That would be less often, and wouldn't interfere as much with the conversation.  If someone is adding themselves to the list or changing their date, we can do those changes on the most recent list without re-posting a new one. 





2Birds1Stone

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1852 on: February 07, 2019, 04:50:33 PM »
I love that idea @Trifele

Half Stached

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1853 on: February 07, 2019, 04:57:18 PM »
Sounds great!

Eric

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1854 on: February 08, 2019, 02:39:07 PM »
I like seeing the list get filled in too.  How about -- we just update the list when someone actually FIREs?  That would be less often, and wouldn't interfere as much with the conversation.  If someone is adding themselves to the list or changing their date, we can do those changes on the most recent list without re-posting a new one.

Considering you're basically the Keeper Of The List, I'm sure we'll all agree to whatever you want.  :)

Eric

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1855 on: February 08, 2019, 02:41:41 PM »
I'm headed off for a 2 week vacation on Sunday.  This could be my last vacation for a decade or more!  (considering I'm traveling in retirement, so then it's just "life")  And then when I get back, I will submit my (~7 week) notice shortly after.  It's all moving at breakneck speed.

oldtoyota

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1856 on: February 08, 2019, 09:43:56 PM »
I'm headed off for a 2 week vacation on Sunday.  This could be my last vacation for a decade or more!  (considering I'm traveling in retirement, so then it's just "life")  And then when I get back, I will submit my (~7 week) notice shortly after.  It's all moving at breakneck speed.

That's exciting!!

chasesfish

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1857 on: February 09, 2019, 05:40:09 AM »
I'm headed off for a 2 week vacation on Sunday.  This could be my last vacation for a decade or more!  (considering I'm traveling in retirement, so then it's just "life")  And then when I get back, I will submit my (~7 week) notice shortly after.  It's all moving at breakneck speed.

@Eric and I must have similar plans.  Head off for a near two week vacation shortly.   Five weeks left at work becomes three.

This is the BEST advice I've gotten.  To anyone else on this thread, strongly consider taking a long vacation before you turn in your notice.  At times its overwhelming thinking about what I'm about to do.

2Birds1Stone

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1858 on: February 09, 2019, 06:05:51 AM »
Shit, I would love to do this. Vacation before my LoA would be icing on the cake.

It's hard to get vacation approved at quarter end -_-

Eric

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1859 on: February 09, 2019, 10:29:11 AM »
I'm headed off for a 2 week vacation on Sunday.  This could be my last vacation for a decade or more!  (considering I'm traveling in retirement, so then it's just "life")  And then when I get back, I will submit my (~7 week) notice shortly after.  It's all moving at breakneck speed.

@Eric and I must have similar plans.  Head off for a near two week vacation shortly.   Five weeks left at work becomes three.

This is the BEST advice I've gotten.  To anyone else on this thread, strongly consider taking a long vacation before you turn in your notice.  At times its overwhelming thinking about what I'm about to do.

I'll be in Hong Kong and Vietnam.  See you there?  lol

But yeah, this will be a nice break before the "lightning round". 

Linea_Norway

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1860 on: February 09, 2019, 11:16:37 PM »
I'm headed off for a 2 week vacation on Sunday.  This could be my last vacation for a decade or more!  (considering I'm traveling in retirement, so then it's just "life")  And then when I get back, I will submit my (~7 week) notice shortly after.  It's all moving at breakneck speed.

@Eric and I must have similar plans.  Head off for a near two week vacation shortly.   Five weeks left at work becomes three.

This is the BEST advice I've gotten.  To anyone else on this thread, strongly consider taking a long vacation before you turn in your notice.  At times its overwhelming thinking about what I'm about to do.

Here in Norway we have a 3 month notice period. I plan to take a long vacation during that notice period, just like a co-worker recently did. Just to make the period feel shorter. Maybe just at the end of the 3 months.

Trifele

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1861 on: February 10, 2019, 03:36:38 AM »
I'm headed off for a 2 week vacation on Sunday.  This could be my last vacation for a decade or more!  (considering I'm traveling in retirement, so then it's just "life")  And then when I get back, I will submit my (~7 week) notice shortly after.  It's all moving at breakneck speed.

@Eric and I must have similar plans.  Head off for a near two week vacation shortly.   Five weeks left at work becomes three.

This is the BEST advice I've gotten.  To anyone else on this thread, strongly consider taking a long vacation before you turn in your notice.  At times its overwhelming thinking about what I'm about to do.

Here in Norway we have a 3 month notice period. I plan to take a long vacation during that notice period, just like a co-worker recently did. Just to make the period feel shorter. Maybe just at the end of the 3 months.

That is very civilized, that they let you take vacation during your notice period.  In the US I believe they usually don't.  My last job required 4 weeks' notice, with no vacation allowed after you give notice.

Congrats @Eric and @chasesfish -- hope you both have fabulous vacations. 

chasesfish

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1862 on: February 10, 2019, 05:02:55 AM »
@Trifele - I'm not in my notice period, my job isn't that civilized.  They'll likely ask me to leave 1-2 days after I give notice and pay me for the full 30 day notice period.  This vacation is in advance of them knowing :)


PowerStache

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1863 on: February 10, 2019, 07:58:05 AM »
@chasesfish , it is interesting the way different companies deal with notice of leaving. I gave a little over 2 months notice to give them time to chose a replacement and complete the transfer of duties. After two weeks of notice, it looks like they are not going to hire but give my duties to another manager. So now I am getting anxious to go earlier. In the meantime I am dealing with some of the worst parts of being a manager. This week, we have had to cut work because the business isnít making money,fire someone who was t showing up, write a performance plan for someone who isnít pulling their weight and getting info to HR about a complaint against me.  Did I mention 53 days and
35 working days!!

chasesfish

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1864 on: February 10, 2019, 10:02:21 AM »
@chasesfish , it is interesting the way different companies deal with notice of leaving. I gave a little over 2 months notice to give them time to chose a replacement and complete the transfer of duties. After two weeks of notice, it looks like they are not going to hire but give my duties to another manager. So now I am getting anxious to go earlier. In the meantime I am dealing with some of the worst parts of being a manager. This week, we have had to cut work because the business isnít making money,fire someone who was t showing up, write a performance plan for someone who isnít pulling their weight and getting info to HR about a complaint against me.  Did I mention 53 days and
35 working days!!

Oh wow, I feel you!   I took advantage of a window last quarter to get out of management.  They were going to reduce one but not in a RIF scenario, just a reassignment.  I saw this coming and pushed my boss for the reassignment.   I manage all of eight customers in my current role, there's not going to be much to do.

I also can't give notice earlier because they've been known to terminate quickly to get people out of long term incentive pay and bonus.  Oh well, its the culture that evolved and at least I know the game

Trifele

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1865 on: February 10, 2019, 10:16:26 AM »
@chasesfish , it is interesting the way different companies deal with notice of leaving. I gave a little over 2 months notice to give them time to chose a replacement and complete the transfer of duties. After two weeks of notice, it looks like they are not going to hire but give my duties to another manager. So now I am getting anxious to go earlier. In the meantime I am dealing with some of the worst parts of being a manager. This week, we have had to cut work because the business isnít making money,fire someone who was t showing up, write a performance plan for someone who isnít pulling their weight and getting info to HR about a complaint against me.  Did I mention 53 days and
35 working days!!

That is crummy @PowerStache.  Hang in there. 35 days will pass before you know it.

nrvFIRE

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1866 on: February 10, 2019, 10:53:45 AM »
Goal of 3/15/19 for me (husband, M, 33), Wife has a good job that is flexible so she will keep it for now

Trifele

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1867 on: February 10, 2019, 11:41:42 AM »
Goal of 3/15/19 for me (husband, M, 33), Wife has a good job that is flexible so she will keep it for now

Welcome to the forum!  That's quite a first post @nrvFIRE.  Do you want to be added to the FIRE cohort here? 

tooqk4u22

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1868 on: February 11, 2019, 10:14:51 AM »
I am really struggling with conceptualizing going from high savings rate/fire hose of cash to draw down phase.  It is so much easier when say the house/car needs a major repair or something comes up with the kids and the answer is "Oh well, I just won't save as much this month".

My spending plan has all (or most) of this factored in, but psychologically its really weighing on me. 

I guess there is no way around this other than to suck it up, have confidence in the plan, and understand there is always a risk of something.

markbike528CBX

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1869 on: February 11, 2019, 12:07:22 PM »
took4u22:
The withdrawal part had me all beside myself before fire, post-FIRE, not nearly as much of a big deal.   
The first withdrawal was tough but afterwards, I've just lightly skipped the December dip (remember that, the end-of the world as we know it?) and withdrew my planned amount a month later.
This was after an unexpected family emergency that I had to go to the other side of the continent, paying full fare, etc.


TL;DR, Withdrawals in FIRE sound scarier than they really are.

Cookie78

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1870 on: February 11, 2019, 04:05:26 PM »
That's it! Throwing my name on this list for October.

I've been waffling back and forth for awhile, but tonight I just need the F out. I was aiming for 2017, but took a 1 year leave instead. Went back to work mid-late 2018 and have been hating it passionately since then, despite enjoying my coworkers, supervisors, and the actual work for the most part. I just hate being 'stuck' there and it's getting harder and harder to look like I give a fuck.

Financially I'm fine to leave now, the catch is that I need to sell two houses first and the market has been shit for a few years. My realtor/friend said (two years ago) I should wait until things pick up, but I'm done waiting. I'd rather FIRE with not quite enough and pick up occasional work here and there than stay where I'm at for an extra who-knows-how-long until real estate market turns around. I have way too many adventures to go do that I can't fit into 4 week vacations, and I'm not getting any younger.

So, step 1: Sell rental house. Just got the roof replaced last week. Painted exterior last summer. Need to chat with my realtor and figure out what to do next. February isn't the best time to list. Maybe March or April. Maybe there will be a warm enough day before then to touch up some trim paint.

Had a chat with my realtor last night to get that ball rolling!

Just had a chat with my supervisor about taking another 1 year leave starting this fall. He has no problem with it, but it needs to get approval 2 more levels up. Technically I need to be back for as long as I was gone on the previous leave (1 year) until I can go again, but I'm aiming for Oct 10 now, which is 2 additional months. However, if everything falls into place (bitter funny thought considering how that is not the case at all lately) I could sell both houses and be out as early as Aug 18.

forward

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1871 on: February 11, 2019, 06:32:43 PM »
I am really struggling with conceptualizing going from high savings rate/fire hose of cash to draw down phase.  It is so much easier when say the house/car needs a major repair or something comes up with the kids and the answer is "Oh well, I just won't save as much this month".

My spending plan has all (or most) of this factored in, but psychologically its really weighing on me. 

I guess there is no way around this other than to suck it up, have confidence in the plan, and understand there is always a risk of something.

tooq,
I am still struggling with this too.  On my end the work environment has gotten so bad that the fear of turning off the firehose has become less than the painful work environment.

Trifele

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1872 on: February 13, 2019, 05:05:38 AM »
Is today still the big day @SeanTash ?   May it go smoothly for you. 

Haven't heard anything from @Cycling Stache.  Looks like it's been a couple weeks since he visited the forum. 

 

Parizade

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1873 on: February 13, 2019, 12:45:24 PM »
I just had my annual review this afternoon and told my manager that I plan to retire at the end of June. I've been looking forward to this day for some time, but as soon as I told him I felt a little sick to my stomach. Not relieved or excited, nauseated!

Is this normal?

chasesfish

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1874 on: February 13, 2019, 01:13:39 PM »
I just had my annual review this afternoon and told my manager that I plan to retire at the end of June. I've been looking forward to this day for some time, but as soon as I told him I felt a little sick to my stomach. Not relieved or excited, nauseated!

Is this normal?

I think its normal.  Giving up your professional identity isn't easy.  I have trouble getting back to sleep at 4:30am when I start thinking about it, same nauseated feeling.  Still have 30 days before I can have that conversation, damn RSUs and not trusting those above

SeanTash

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1875 on: February 13, 2019, 01:59:34 PM »
Is today still the big day @SeanTash ?   May it go smoothly for you. 
 
Indeed it is - mark me CONFIRMED!

Last day was all a big surreal. It did go pretty smoothly, apart from a nagging voice in my head saying "you could do this a bit longer, it's not THAT bad, you should top up your stash" !

Like many, I struggle with telling co-workers I'm probably not working in this career ever again (though even in 'retirement' I do plan to do some kind of paid employment along the way, just on my terms)

This morning was my first weekday with no alarm set in a loooong time - yay :)



Parizade

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1876 on: February 13, 2019, 02:02:22 PM »
Thank you chasesfish, that makes sense. He gave me all this nice feedback about my work, nice raise, nice bonus, made me second guess my decision. I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough

Trifele

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1877 on: February 13, 2019, 05:04:04 PM »
Is today still the big day @SeanTash ?   May it go smoothly for you. 
 
Indeed it is - mark me CONFIRMED!
Last day was all a big surreal. It did go pretty smoothly, apart from a nagging voice in my head saying "you could do this a bit longer, it's not THAT bad, you should top up your stash" !


Congratulations @SeanTash!!   Ignore that nagging voice, and enjoy sleeping in tomorrow!


2019 FIRE Cohort:

01/01/19     Bingeworker (52)        CONFIRMED
01/31/19     Trifele (51)                 CONFIRMED
02/01/19     Socmonkey (37)         CONFIRMED
02/01/19     August (54)                CONFIRMED
02/01/19     Keeks (42)                 CONFIRMED   
02/13/19     SeanTash                   CONFIRMED
03/15/19     exit2019  (40)
03/19/19     ChasesFish (36)
03/??/19     MissNancyPryor (50)     
03/??/19     Edgema
03/29/19     JumboShrimp
03/31/19     BlindSquirrel
03/31/19     Loren Ver (36)
03/31/19     Mr. Ver (39)
04/01/19     HalfStached  (41)
04/01/19     Gerardc  (35)
04/01/19     JoJo (45)
04/01/19     Ryder (39)
04/04/19     PowerStache (43)
04/19/19     Eric
04/26/19     FIRE 20/20  (42)
04/??/19     Luck12  (41)
05/01/19     Albireo13  (61)
05/15/19     MaybeBabyMustache                   
05/??/19     SamIAm38  (29)
05/31/19     Odiedog8590  (62)
05/31/19     Livingthedream55  (59)
05/31/19     dude                              Date Confirmed
06/01/19     Prairie Stash
06/07/19     DreamFire
06/15/19     Okonomiyaki (49)
06/21/19     Parizade  (62)
06/22/19     Waffles  (52)
06/30/19     Pylortes  (42)
06/??/19     Oldtoyota
07/??/19     powersuitrecall  (47)
07/??/19     Enigma  (39)
07/??/19     Thedividebyzero  (45)
07/01/19     2Birds1Stone  (32)
07/03/19     Gerard
07/03/19     Miss Piggy
07/05/19     StoaX (58)
07/29/19     Lews Therin (29)
08/01/19     SugarMountain
09/02/19     Cornbread OMalley  (42)  Date Confirmed
09/??/19     RetirementDreaming
09/??/19     dayzero
10/??/19     VoteCthulu  (39)
10/??/19     Trix76  (43)
10/??/19     MoMan  (55)
10/??/19     Dreamer
10/??/19     Cookie78
12/??/19     HBFI  (38)
12/??/19     luckyme13  (45)
12/19/19     Itchyfeet  (47)
12/27/19     moxie
12/31/19     texxan1  (47)

2019 Cohort with date TBD:
Lowerbills (40)
getoutsoon (52)
IPlawyer
MustacheAnxiety
forward
Cycling Stache (44)

OMY/2MY/Etc:
Freedomin5 (38)
Roboturner  (30)
Bateaux (51)
Linda_Norway (45)
CryingInThePool  (44)

OLY
markbike528cbx  (55)      OLY -- CONFIRMED 6/1/18; checking in as OP
MoneyStacher  (50)         OLY -- CONFIRMED 2018
PhilB  (52)                      OLY -- CONFIRMED 10/24/18
sui generis  (41)              OLY -- CONFIRMED 8/17/18
TartanTallulah  (55)          OLY -- CONFIRMED 10/2018
cerat0n1a                       OLY -- CONFIRMED 2018 
Chairman                        OLY -- CONFIRMED 2018
Bognish (43)                   OLY -- CONFIRMED 11/16/18
« Last Edit: February 24, 2019, 03:37:37 AM by Trifele »

FIRE 20/20

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1878 on: February 13, 2019, 09:39:17 PM »
I am really struggling with conceptualizing going from high savings rate/fire hose of cash to draw down phase.  It is so much easier when say the house/car needs a major repair or something comes up with the kids and the answer is "Oh well, I just won't save as much this month".

My spending plan has all (or most) of this factored in, but psychologically its really weighing on me. 

I guess there is no way around this other than to suck it up, have confidence in the plan, and understand there is always a risk of something.

I'm struggling with this as well.  If someone posted my numbers I would tell them they worked too long and had wasted the best year of their life in a cubicle after they already had more than enough to FIRE.  I have the same feeling I had before I went bungee jumping or skydiving.  I knew everything would be fine but I was terrified.  This is similar except the feeling is not as intense but it's lasting months instead of seconds or minutes. 
I wish I had something helpful to tell you, but I haven't figured it out. 

FIRE 20/20

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1879 on: February 13, 2019, 09:41:03 PM »
Is today still the big day @SeanTash ?   May it go smoothly for you. 
 
Indeed it is - mark me CONFIRMED!

Last day was all a big surreal. It did go pretty smoothly, apart from a nagging voice in my head saying "you could do this a bit longer, it's not THAT bad, you should top up your stash" !

Like many, I struggle with telling co-workers I'm probably not working in this career ever again (though even in 'retirement' I do plan to do some kind of paid employment along the way, just on my terms)

This morning was my first weekday with no alarm set in a loooong time - yay :)

Congrats SeanTash! 

dude

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1880 on: February 14, 2019, 06:31:53 AM »
So as I mentioned in a previous post, I hit eligibility on May 7, and retirement date is May 31, and I have vacation time to burn that I'm going to take the last two weeks of May, effectively making my retirement date (insofar as not going to work anymore) May 17. Well, I found out the other day that there's a national training conference (in a city I enjoy very much) the week of May 13-17 in the works and I'm slated to be a presenter! So that's essentially another week "off," making my last day in the office May 10! Woo-hoo!  Hell, I may just call in sick May 8-10 and make May 7, my eligibility date, my last day!

2Birds1Stone

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1881 on: February 14, 2019, 07:19:46 AM »
Down to 120 days till I give notice.

It feels surreal. I'm doing more research and trying to figure out how to make the most of the time off work :)

I have a feeling that's what will get me through these next 4 months of working 60+ hour weeks.

Lews Therin

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1882 on: February 14, 2019, 08:10:38 AM »
I recommend making different time calculating things, that allow you to countdown the days.

Such as weeks left, Working days left, %, % since the beginning of work career.

I have # of work days, a monthly counter and my lifetime counter. It`s so nice when that one goes up a percentage (96% of work life done so far)

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1883 on: February 14, 2019, 10:50:03 AM »
Caution: this is a bit of an unstructured brain dump

I'm feeling so conflicted about my plans. I'm confirmed for my sabbatical (e.g. it's gone through all of the various approval processes at my company). When I'd originally planned my sabbatical, it was a safe transition to quitting, and would allow me to double check that I was ready to give up my "career".

Since then, my husband has had a change of heart around how long he wants to work & his own retirement plans. We need seven years of his salary before we can both retire, so the plan has been for me to quit this year, and for him to join me & quit in seven years. Lest you think I've pressured him/encouraged this, he's been very firm on his lack of desire to retire any earlier. Well, he's since had a bit of a change of heart & now wants to consider retiring earlier. This has thrown quite a wrench into my own plans.

The seven year timeline is when our youngest graduates. When that happens, we will sell our incredibly expensive bay area house, and move somewhere more affordable.

If we stay the course, and I quit this fall after my sabbatical, we can continue to cover all of our expenses. That's not a risk. However, we won't have our house paid off in seven years. We'd both like that, but if feels arbitrary to worry about that if we're going to sell anyway. We have A TON of equity already in our house, so we're talking about the difference in equity of 85% of the house value coming our way after we sell, vs 100% of the equity.

I'm struggling with the tradeoff of giving up a career with a huge paycheck. It's really pulling at me. I *know* I'm ready to leave, but giving up the giant fire hose of money feels terrifying. Particularly since so much of my compensation is tied into vested equity that I will give up when I leave, never to get back. . . I want to be supportive of my husband, and do the right thing for my family. He's fine with whatever decision I make, & just wants me to be happy. But, I guess I like security & knowing I'm helping my family. .. more than I like my own freedom? I have guilt, despite the fact that my husband is very clear that we will make it work no matter what. We are in a great financial position, so this feels like a really ridiculous thing to get hung up on.

Did anyone else have these fears, hang ups, last minute doubts?


Lews Therin

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1884 on: February 14, 2019, 11:59:28 AM »
Caution: this is a bit of an unstructured brain dump

Lest you think I've pressured him/encouraged this, he's been very firm on his lack of desire to retire any earlier. Well, he's since had a bit of a change of heart & now wants to consider retiring earlier. This has thrown quite a wrench into my own plans.

The seven year timeline is when our youngest graduates. When that happens, we will sell our incredibly expensive bay area house, and move somewhere more affordable.

If we stay the course, and I quit this fall after my sabbatical, we can continue to cover all of our expenses. That's not a risk. However, we won't have our house paid off in seven years. We'd both like that, but if feels arbitrary to worry about that if we're going to sell anyway. We have A TON of equity already in our house, so we're talking about the difference in equity of 85% of the house value coming our way after we sell, vs 100% of the equity.

I'm struggling with the tradeoff of giving up a career with a huge paycheck. It's really pulling at me. I *know* I'm ready to leave, but giving up the giant fire hose of money feels terrifying. Particularly since so much of my compensation is tied into vested equity that I will give up when I leave, never to get back. . . I want to be supportive of my husband, and do the right thing for my family. He's fine with whatever decision I make, & just wants me to be happy. But, I guess I like security & knowing I'm helping my family. .. more than I like my own freedom? I have guilt, despite the fact that my husband is very clear that we will make it work no matter what. We are in a great financial position, so this feels like a really ridiculous thing to get hung up on.

Did anyone else have these fears, hang ups, last minute doubts?


I'm 5 years older than my S/O; and about that much further along the FIRE Path (FIRE this year), but I promised her that if she ever ended up truly hating her job as much as I did (or starting to hate the job she currently doesn`t mind so much) I'd upshift to part-time, in order to allow her to downshift to part time. We'd both be making close to the same amount as her full time job (2x part-time + investments), and the pain of working would be reduced as a unit, since part-time isn`t all that hard.

Can you look at trying to negotiate with your work to downshift while still remaining with them? A well trained and useful worker is hard to replace and retrain, and with your FIRE stash, you have all the negotiating power so they might make an exception for you. (You'd keep a reasonably high salary, and help get your S/O to FIRE quicker, and still increase your happiness.)

I see it as a team effort, but you have to take the time to sit down, and figure out together what the plan is. (Nothing wrong with him deciding to do less, better than him resenting you and bottling it up!)

2Birds1Stone

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1885 on: February 14, 2019, 12:32:10 PM »
@MaybeBabyMustache, take this with a grain of salt because I don't remember everything I read on these boards....

I do remember reading some of your posts around these struggles in the past. Even old posts from several years ago that you were ready to quit back then. Your net worth and incomes are already very high. You're FI and comfortably so, the second you choose to downsize and relocate. The opportunity cost of that house right now is wage slavery. Think about how you will feel 30-40 years from now when your kids are your age. Will you look back glad that you worked 7 more years to afford that house? Or that you were able to quit/downshift and focus on being as present as possible in your kids lives, as well as figuring out your identities outside of the career.

Struggling with similar feelings myself, albeit I'm pulling the plug with a $500k net worth, knowing that I'm highly employable in the future, and even a year or two of work in my field down the line, can mitigate any possible sequence of returns risk etc.

What I can't mitigate with more $$, is longevity risk, and making the most of my time on this planet. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2019, 04:25:16 AM by 2Birds1Stone »

lhamo

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1886 on: February 14, 2019, 12:42:12 PM »
MBM, I know it is hard when the anxiety kicks in, but I agree with 2B1S -- you guys will be absolutely fine no matter what road you choose.  Try to let go of the planning mindset for the next few months and see how things unfold.

For me, FIREing was an easy choice because I was pretty desperate to leave Beijing.  Still, it took us awhile to get to the point of selling the apartment, which was our real ticket to full, fat FIRE.  What worked for us in the interim was having a pretty big cash stash -- about 2 years of living expenses in our case.  It gave us a lot of flexibility/peace of mind, even if it wasn't 100% financially optimized.

Parizade

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1887 on: February 14, 2019, 01:22:00 PM »
I'm struggling with the tradeoff of giving up a career with a huge paycheck. It's really pulling at me. I *know* I'm ready to leave, but giving up the giant fire hose of money feels terrifying.

I feel the same. I think it's similar to the "clean your plate even though you're not hungry because children are starving in Asia" I'm so fortunate to have this high paying job and I can wfh so I'm living in a LCOL area just shoveliing money into the bank at this point. Plus the people I work with are great and the job is not that hard. It seems crazy and ungrateful to the universe to quit now. Even though I don't need it anymore and really would prefer the freedom of retirement.

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1888 on: February 14, 2019, 02:30:25 PM »
Caution: this is a bit of an unstructured brain dump

Lest you think I've pressured him/encouraged this, he's been very firm on his lack of desire to retire any earlier. Well, he's since had a bit of a change of heart & now wants to consider retiring earlier. This has thrown quite a wrench into my own plans.

The seven year timeline is when our youngest graduates. When that happens, we will sell our incredibly expensive bay area house, and move somewhere more affordable.

If we stay the course, and I quit this fall after my sabbatical, we can continue to cover all of our expenses. That's not a risk. However, we won't have our house paid off in seven years. We'd both like that, but if feels arbitrary to worry about that if we're going to sell anyway. We have A TON of equity already in our house, so we're talking about the difference in equity of 85% of the house value coming our way after we sell, vs 100% of the equity.

I'm struggling with the tradeoff of giving up a career with a huge paycheck. It's really pulling at me. I *know* I'm ready to leave, but giving up the giant fire hose of money feels terrifying. Particularly since so much of my compensation is tied into vested equity that I will give up when I leave, never to get back. . . I want to be supportive of my husband, and do the right thing for my family. He's fine with whatever decision I make, & just wants me to be happy. But, I guess I like security & knowing I'm helping my family. .. more than I like my own freedom? I have guilt, despite the fact that my husband is very clear that we will make it work no matter what. We are in a great financial position, so this feels like a really ridiculous thing to get hung up on.

Did anyone else have these fears, hang ups, last minute doubts?


I'm 5 years older than my S/O; and about that much further along the FIRE Path (FIRE this year), but I promised her that if she ever ended up truly hating her job as much as I did (or starting to hate the job she currently doesn`t mind so much) I'd upshift to part-time, in order to allow her to downshift to part time. We'd both be making close to the same amount as her full time job (2x part-time + investments), and the pain of working would be reduced as a unit, since part-time isn`t all that hard.

Can you look at trying to negotiate with your work to downshift while still remaining with them? A well trained and useful worker is hard to replace and retrain, and with your FIRE stash, you have all the negotiating power so they might make an exception for you. (You'd keep a reasonably high salary, and help get your S/O to FIRE quicker, and still increase your happiness.)

I see it as a team effort, but you have to take the time to sit down, and figure out together what the plan is. (Nothing wrong with him deciding to do less, better than him resenting you and bottling it up!)

@Lews Therin
I think the age gap is the hard part. I'm 9 years younger, so I do feel guilty that he's planning to work longer. In order to get past that guilt, I've created all of these artificial goals for myself that would "make me feel better" & ready to leave. I've BLOWN past all of those goals. He's supportive of me making this change, so the majority of this is on me & my own feelings on the age gap.

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1889 on: February 14, 2019, 02:43:53 PM »
@2Birds1Stone - you are totally correct. Intellectually, I know that. I have all of the numbers to prove that out, but .. . still the anxiety. And yes, to @Parizade - I know I'm incredibly blessed by making so much money. So, I have guilt on that front as well.

Prior to my FIRE journey, I had no idea that I anchored so many decisions in guilt & security. . .Quite an eye opener

August

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1890 on: February 14, 2019, 02:54:25 PM »
I'm struggling with the tradeoff of giving up a career with a huge paycheck. It's really pulling at me. I *know* I'm ready to leave, but giving up the giant fire hose of money feels terrifying.

It seems to me that you have two options, stay where you are and keep the income, or leave to gain more free time.  Both options are good, so the question becomes - what do you want?

Lews Therin

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1891 on: February 14, 2019, 02:58:28 PM »
@MBM: Aim for happiness. Will you be happier FIREd? Will he be as happy if he has to spend longer?

Try to get the best match of it :D

stoaX

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1892 on: February 14, 2019, 03:14:18 PM »
Is today still the big day @SeanTash ?   May it go smoothly for you. 
 
Indeed it is - mark me CONFIRMED!
Last day was all a big surreal. It did go pretty smoothly, apart from a nagging voice in my head saying "you could do this a bit longer, it's not THAT bad, you should top up your stash" !


Congratulations @SeanTash!!   Ignore that nagging voice, and enjoy sleeping in tomorrow!


2019 FIRE Cohort:

01/01/19     Bingeworker (52)        CONFIRMED
01/31/19     Trifele (51)                 CONFIRMED
02/01/19     Socmonkey (37)         CONFIRMED
02/01/19     August (54)                CONFIRMED
02/01/19     Keeks (42)                 CONFIRMED   
02/01/19     Cycling Stache (44)     ?
02/13/19     SeanTash                   CONFIRMED
03/15/19     exit2019  (40)
03/19/19     ChasesFish (36)
03/??/19     MissNancyPryor (50)     
03/??/19     Edgema
03/29/19     JumboShrimp
03/31/19     BlindSquirrel
03/31/19     Loren Ver (36)
03/31/19     Mr. Ver (39)
04/01/19     HalfStached  (41)
04/01/19     Gerardc  (35)
04/01/19     JoJo (45)
04/01/19     Ryder (39)
04/04/19     PowerStache (43)
04/19/19     Eric
04/??/19     Luck12  (41)
05/01/19     Albireo13  (61)
05/15/19     MaybeBabyMustache                   
05/??/19     SamIAm38  (29)
05/??/19     FIRE 20/20  (42)
05/31/19     Odiedog8590  (62)
05/31/19     Livingthedream55  (59)
05/31/19     dude                              Date Confirmed
06/01/19     Prairie Stash
06/07/19     DreamFire
06/21/19     Parizade  (62)
06/22/19     Waffles  (52)
06/30/19     Pylortes  (42)
06/??/19     Oldtoyota
06/??/19     CryingInThePool  (44)
07/??/19     powersuitrecall  (47)
07/??/19     Enigma  (39)
07/??/19     Thedividebyzero  (45)
07/01/19     2Birds1Stone  (32)
07/03/19     Gerard
07/03/19     Miss Piggy
07/29/19     Lews Therin (29)
08/01/19     SugarMountain
09/02/19     Cornbread OMalley  (42)  Date Confirmed
09/??/19     RetirementDreaming
09/??/19     dayzero
10/??/19     VoteCthulu  (39)
10/??/19     Trix76  (43)
10/??/19     MoMan  (55)
10/??/19     Dreamer
10/??/19     Cookie78
12/??/19     HBFI  (38)
12/??/19     luckyme13  (45)
12/19/19     Itchyfeet  (47)
12/27/19     moxie
12/31/19     texxan1  (47)

2019 Cohort with date TBD:
Lowerbills (40)
getoutsoon (52)
IPlawyer
MustacheAnxiety
forward

OMY/2MY/Etc:
Freedomin5 (38)
Roboturner  (30)
Bateaux (51)
Linda_Norway (45)

OLY
markbike528cbx  (55)      OLY -- CONFIRMED 6/1/18; checking in as OP
MoneyStacher  (50)         OLY -- CONFIRMED 2018
PhilB  (52)                      OLY -- CONFIRMED 10/24/18
sui generis  (41)              OLY -- CONFIRMED 8/17/18
TartanTallulah  (55)          OLY -- CONFIRMED 10/2018
cerat0n1a                       OLY -- CONFIRMED 2018 
Chairman                        OLY -- CONFIRMED 2018
Bognish (43)                   OLY -- CONFIRMED 11/16/18

You can add me to the list.  July 5th is my last day at work.  I'm 58 years old so it's not a true Mustachian early retirement but an early retirement nonetheless.  Sure hope the stash lasts and the health insurance works out!

Zoot

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1893 on: February 14, 2019, 03:56:16 PM »
I think the age gap is the hard part. I'm 9 years younger, so I do feel guilty that he's planning to work longer. In order to get past that guilt, I've created all of these artificial goals for myself that would "make me feel better" & ready to leave. I've BLOWN past all of those goals. He's supportive of me making this change, so the majority of this is on me & my own feelings on the age gap.

I don't have any answers for you on this, largely because I'm living it myself, but in reverse--I'm 11 years older than DH (I'm 52, he's 41) and I'm the one who would quit tomorrow if I could get over the mental hurdles; on his best day, he loves his job, and on his worst, he tolerates it, while I tolerate mine on my best days and want to curl up in a ball on my worst.  ;-)  But maybe you'll find a thread of something in my story that will be of some assistance.

DH and I have had the when-can-Zoot-quit conversation many times--and he has assured me every time that I can quit tomorrow if I want to.  Our LNW is roughly $800K in retirement funds and $100K in taxable, with another $250K in home equity.  We can live on his salary, comfortably but not lavishly, but our savings rate would take a big hit without my salary.  Every time I think about quitting, though, I am struck with guilt--I somehow can't conscience leaving work while he's still working.  "You've paid your dues for a decade longer than I have," he will tell me.  "It's OK if you want to go ahead and quit--you don't need to work just because I am."  And yet I still am. 

I told myself I'd work until we hit $1 million in net worth.  We hit that.  I then told myself I'd work until we had $1 million in LIQUID net worth.  We're working toward that, and if the market is kind we'll likely hit that in about a year's time.  I can already hear myself making my next argument, though--after we hit the LNW goal, it'll be, "well, I should work until the house is paid off."  Knowing me, I'll come up with some OTHER goal after that one is accomplished.

All of these are good things to do, good goals to have--but deep down, I think they are just smoke screens for the real reason I'm still working:  guilt, which itself is just another smoke screen for the REAL real reason. 

It's fear.  Abject fear.  Fear of being penniless, homeless, resource-less.  Irrational?  Probably.  But convince the scared child inside me that it's irrational.  Go ahead.  I'll wait.  ;-)

I guess what I'd say to you in your situation, based on my own similar-but-not-identical experience, is this:  beyond wholesome prudential planning for post-career cash flow, your goal of having a paid off house before you pull the trigger is an arbitrary one, established by you as a couple and as such alterable by you as a couple.  Take a look at the numbers, and take a look at your heart--model the reality of your both quitting financially, mentally, emotionally, and see what it has to tell you.  You may be able to construct a reality that you can both be comfortable with bringing to life.

(Can you tell I'm talking to myself here as much as I'm talking to you?  Thanks for the opportunity to reflect!)


FIRE 20/20

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1894 on: February 14, 2019, 08:41:29 PM »
All of these are good things to do, good goals to have--but deep down, I think they are just smoke screens for the real reason I'm still working:  guilt, which itself is just another smoke screen for the REAL real reason. 

It's fear.  Abject fear.  Fear of being penniless, homeless, resource-less.  Irrational?  Probably.  But convince the scared child inside me that it's irrational.  Go ahead.  I'll wait.  ;-)


I love this, @Zoot ; I'm going through something similar but without the guilt middleman.  I'm going straight from developing artificial goals well past the finish line due to fear. 

@MaybeBabyMustache , I wish I had something worthwhile to say to help you out.  One question - if you're going to be taking a sabbatical, can you just do that and take the sabbatical and delay the decision?  I was going to suggest going to part time or reducing your responsibilities somehow but Lews Therin beat me to it.  The only thing I can suggest is taking a some time, maybe with your husband or maybe with a therapist, to work out what you're feeling and why.  What's pushing you away from work?  Is it the stress, the time it takes from family, the inability to do the things you want to do, or something else?  What's pushing you to stay, really?  How much of it is fear about running short on money, how much is putting pressure on your husband, or is it something else entirely?  Talking to a therapist might help.  This is an oversimplification, but it might be easier to come to an answer if you understand the problem a little better.  If, for instance, you decide that the main issue is that you're just overwhelmed at work then perhaps negotiating something part-time or lower stress would solve that problem and let you keep working to resolve the fear of running out of money and putting the burden on your husband.  Or maybe you'll realize the fear is really about running out of money but you might be able to trim expenses so you have enough even if you quit and your husband works less than initially planned, so you can quit guilt-free.

Whatever you do, I wish you the best.  It sounds like many of us are dealing with similar issues even if our situations are radically different. 

markbike528CBX

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1895 on: February 14, 2019, 09:13:51 PM »
MaybeBabyMustache, Zoot and readers generally.

If it makes you feel any better, there are several forum members on the "2M to 3M and beyond" thread that express the same issues that you have.

At some point, you just have to pull the ripcord and bail out.  "Enough" by John Bogle is a helpful read.

As to FIRE, come on in, the water is warm, welcoming and generally great!. 

Zoot, well said, most peoples root cause of not FIREing
            "It's fear.  Abject fear.  Fear of being penniless, homeless, resource-less.  Irrational?  Probably.  But convince the scared child inside me that it's irrational.  Go ahead.  I'll wait.  ;-) "

Sorry I don't have time to psychoanalyze the scared child/ bag-lady etc.   I'm having too much fun in FIRE.

Markbike528- Thread OP and FIRED since 6/2/18.
My future mission (should I choose to accept it) is to find the TwoLessYears members of this thread.
This message will self destruct in 10...9...8....

 

sui generis

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1896 on: February 14, 2019, 09:17:02 PM »
@MaybeBabyMustache, I was worried about many stressful philosphical and social questions as I approached my RE date as well.  And I absolutely went to see a therapist I had used before with great success, as a life coach.  It's funny, as I'm packing to move, I just came across the notes I made before going to see her, about all the topics I wanted to cover.  All the doubts that were in my head, with little lines connecting various thought bubbles to each other that felt interconnected to me. It was so worth it. It really helped me understand my thinking better and prepare for FIRE more.  Obviously, I highly recommend it!

markbike528CBX

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1897 on: February 14, 2019, 10:25:26 PM »
@MaybeBabyMustache, take this with a grain of salt because I don't remember everything I read on these boards....
......Snip......
What I can't mitigate with more $$, is longevity risk, and making the most of my time on this planet. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.

You can't mitigate longevity risk, but you can visualize it.       http://engaging-data.com/will-money-last-retire-early/?utm_source=mmm

Just think, the longer you OMY, the more likely it is that you'll end up dead instead of broke!

itchyfeet

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1898 on: February 15, 2019, 02:27:04 AM »
I think about longevity risk a fair bit.

I always assume a 40 year retirement for me and 50 years for DW. I donít want her to be without $$ after Iím gone.

But the reality is that I really cant see me being alive at 87, so on that front I am being too conservative. Given how I donít look after myself, a stash for 30 years should be plenty. Nobody in family tree has made it to 80 yet.

On the other hand DW living beyond 92 is quite probable given the age her grandparents died (in their 90s) and the fact that her older aunts and uncles are all still alive in their late 70s (not one early death). All this with the fact that she doesnít smoke, barely drinks and exercises most days, carries no excess weight etc etc....

So I am left with the conundrum of wanting to be aggressive with FIRE to make the most of my remaining years, but having to be conservative because DW will quite probably be around for 60 years. And as the primary earner I feel the responsibility to ensure we are both provided for rests on me.

Trifele

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Re: 2019 fire cohort
« Reply #1899 on: February 15, 2019, 03:44:12 AM »
Welcome aboard @stoaX -- got you added for July 5 in the list above ^.  Congrats on setting the date!  And yes it sure as hell does count as FIRE -- good for you.  :)


@MaybeBabyMustache -- I think that once you intellectually know that you have enough money to FIRE, the decision really is just as simple (simple, but not necessarily easy) as deciding which you want more.  The freedom, or more money.   At some point -- if you conclude you want the freedom -- you just need to take a leap of faith and jump.  I was nervous about some things and making the decision was shit-scary at times, but I have absolutely no regrets.  As a new FIRE-ee I can tell you that it's fantastic and I'm happier than I've ever been.  I'm sleeping like a baby, getting my fitness back, and doing whatever the hell I want.  I wish I could have done this ten years ago.   

If it helps you calm the Inner Bag Lady down, FIRE is also not really a one way street.  You know how FIRE-ees often say that money and opportunities fall in their lap after they retire?  It's true.  Just in the past two weeks I've had two unsolicited job offers.  it's very comforting to know I could go back to work if I really needed to and my family will not go hungry.  For most of us FIREing doesn't mean stepping from Full-On-Work land through a black curtain into No-Work-Ever-Again land.  Now that I'm FIREd I can see that it feels just like life, only way more fun, with more time, and no work stress.   

I second the suggestion that you take that sabbatical and search your heart, see how things play out.  The part time suggestion above is also a good one to consider.  I worked part time for several years when my kids were younger and it was a great compromise that met our family needs at the time.   

EDIT to add:  Here's a thread in the 'Post FIRE' section talking about this issue:  https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/serious-'one-more-year'-syndrome-advice-appreciated/

Also, Dr. Doom (great writer) did a "Quit Series" about the thoughts that swirl before we quit.  You may connect with that.  https://livingafi.com/the-quit-series/

 
« Last Edit: February 15, 2019, 05:24:47 AM by Trifele »