So last week the head of my department, who is retiring soon, and another bigwig take me into the conference room and offer me the opportunity to head a committee at work. I am currently on the committee, but since the department head is leaving, they need a new committee chair.
I had been anticipating and dreading this because I’m not quite ready to quit, but don’t want to accept if I’m planning to leave. I really thought I had dodged a bullet because they waited so long, but no. Luckily, they said at the outset that they wanted me to think about it for a while before accepting, so it was easy to say “yes, I’ll think about it” without saying more.
At the same time, I admit I am flattered. It is a big responsibility and important. This could be a big feather in my cap. For a day or two I had a lot of inner turmoil and reconsidered whether I was ready to retire yet. Should I really FIRE when I have this opportunity? It seems crazy to quit just when the bigwigs are seeing my value.
But after a couple days, I realized that actually performing that job was not a burning desire. Also, I think I just liked the idea of being seen as a leader. I would be seen as important! Ugh. I need to work on my view of my own self-worth.
So after a few more days of boredom on the job, I think I am actually more sure about quitting. Of course, it’s not a done deal until it happens.
Congrats to all those who have recently quit or given notice!! I’m working on the courage.