Author Topic: "Hell no!"  (Read 5371 times)

solon

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"Hell no!"
« on: April 06, 2018, 03:05:20 PM »
I haven't completely put to death the desires of the flesh. I want things. I want to buy things. Usually it's just small stuff. Nothing that, by itself, would cause alarm.

But as we all know, small expenses add up quickly. It can be helpful to have a maxim in your pocket to remember at times of temptation.

"Hell no!" has been my response lately whenever I want to buy something.

Should I run out and grab lunch real quick? Hell no!
Should I get cable so I can watch Rockies games? Hell no!
Should I upgrade my phone? Hell no!

It doesn't always work, and sometimes I need to swap it out with other sayings. What do you tell yourself to curb the spend?

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2018, 03:27:49 PM »
I don't really curb the spend so much as indulge myself in cheaper ways. For instance, I have a snack drawer at work containing items purchased from the supermarket that will mimic snacks I might otherwise buy for a much larger price. A jar of peanut butter and a large pack of crackers from the supermarket rather than an individually packaged peanut butter and cracker snack from the expensive little store downstairs. You can apply this to all areas of life. Paint for kitchen cabinets rather than a full kitchen remodel. A good clean out, one of those little fragrance thingies and some second hand car seat covers rather than a new car. Etc. A fabulous homemade 5 star picnic hamper instead of lunch in the massively expensive restaurant at the top of the hill with the good views, the good views that are just as good from the public park next door to the restaurant!

solon

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2018, 03:31:25 PM »
Here's a good one from elsewhere on the forum today.

"Do I pay $2.50 for a coffee? Never, never, never do I do that," ..."Because if I don't buy it, the money is going to be invested and make money every year for me while I'm sleeping." - Kevin O'Leary

Basenji

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2018, 04:54:37 PM »
I use: "What problem does this solve? Can I solve it in a less expensive way (or, better yet, for free)?"

-------------

Brain has a discussion: A short play

Nucleus accumbens: "Ooh, ooh, look! I want that magazine. I love thumbing through 'Interior Design Porn Monthly.'"
Frontal lobe: "What problem does this solve?"
Nucleus accumbens: "Well...um...I'll get ideas for decorating the house. It's important to decorate the house. And I just like it."
Frontal lobe: ...
Nucleus accumbens: "Christ, ok...it solves nothing except temporarily feeding my addiction to glossy magazines."
Frontal lobe: "Um, hmm. Can we solve this issue in a less expensive way? Or, better yet, for free?"
Nucleus accumbens: [Sighs] "Yes, the library has this magazine online. And I could Google design stuff." [Scuffs metaphorical heel on floor] "Aw shucks, Frontal!"
Frontal lobe: "You'll thank me in 10 years. Now let's move away from the Ring Dings."
[exeunt]

Bucksandreds

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2018, 05:07:43 PM »
Just budget a fun stuff budget and stick to it. Weíre only going to be here so long. Buy some sh*t you donít need but you want every month. Just budget for it. Since finding mmm Iíve gone from maybe a 25% savings rate (including student loan principle) to over 50% but I still spend money on wants. My cousin died of mouth cancer at 26. Make smart choices overall and then have fun.

Simpleton

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2018, 08:43:17 PM »
I think the number one thing to realize is that if curbing spending is causing you significant stress you are doing it wrong.

Try to think about what brings you long term joy and happiness.

Will a meal out bring you long term joy? Probably not
Will stressing about every minor financial decision for the rest of your life bring you joy? Probably not

The key is finding a balance that works for you.

Freedomin5

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2018, 05:03:56 AM »
Telling myself no and denying myself all the time is just stressful and invalidating, and makes me resentful and all sorts of other negative emotions.

I give myself very generous fun money of $100 per week. Granted, we save $2500/week, so $100 is not that much percentage-wise. If I want more expensive fun stuff, I work more hours at my side hustle to ďearnĒ it. Sometimes I donít want to work those hours since I donít think that fun thing is worth that much work, so then I just donít buy the fun thing.

I donít really believe in completely denying yourself.

Malkynn

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2018, 08:09:34 AM »
I donít deny myself anything.
Iím just picky about what I spend on. Most things arenít worth the price tag, itís that simple.

DreamFIRE

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2018, 08:59:54 AM »

I don't have any struggles with this in recent years.  I have less desire to buy crap that I don't need than any time in my life.  I'm more likely to have to yell at myself that I "should" spend some money rather than save it.  I might spend $10 on drive-throughs and treats some weeks, but with a 70% to 80%+ savings rate, I thinks it's acceptable and doesn't cause me any stress.

the_fixer

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2018, 09:08:59 AM »
I look at my app that says I have 2 years, 2 months, 7 days 2 hours to FIRE

I then remember how much I hate my current job but have to stick it out to reach 100% vested in the retirement and if I save as much as I can between now and then I can be done....

That pretty much does it for me

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk
« Last Edit: April 07, 2018, 09:29:20 AM by the_fixer »

Laura33

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2018, 11:35:04 AM »
First-line defense:  "I don't need this."

Second-line defense:  "Do I want this enough to add $25X to my retirement needs so I can keep buying stuff like this forever?  Is it worth XX more weeks/months of work to save that much?"

The second test is a pretty high bar, so not much gets past it, and the stuff that does is generally worth it.
Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

Johnez

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2018, 12:46:51 PM »
I find doing the math helps out. I've almost totally killed the desire for an ebike by figuring out how much debt I can kill and what goals I can accomplish with that money instead.

Gonna add "Hell no!" to my arsenal now. Give my conscious a bit of that face punching attidude definitely is going to help in those weaker moments where I tend to rationalize dumb choices.

Carrie

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2018, 03:49:22 PM »
I'll put off purchases that I think I want or need. Usually I can find a cheaper option or realize I didn't need it after all.
I play games like how many no spend days can I have this month (not it on a calendar), or if I can go all month on one tank of gas, or can I push off a grocery trip one more day.  A few years ago I quit buying books and the game became how many books can I read in a year for free? (Answer: 65)

If I see something I like I try to figure out how to make it myself. I fill my time with creative prursuits using supplies I already have or can source for free, and there's no time to lust after any expensive or material thing.

I've become a really fantastic chef to deter from the desire to eat out. I stash easy meals in the freezer or pantry for emergencies.

I lower expectations of friends and family so I get no peer pressure to spend.

 

BlueHouse

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2018, 08:44:35 PM »
I do something called "shop and drop".  When I find myself in a store (like Marshalls or TJ Maxx) and my shopping cart starts to get full and I notice there is NOTHING in it that I need, I walk away and leave the store.  If there's something I'm still thinking about the following day, I give myself permission to go back and buy it.  I never have.

"Shop and Drop" is my (legal) version of "Dine and Dash" except in a department store instead of a diner. 
Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

shelivesthedream

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #14 on: April 09, 2018, 05:42:13 AM »
My "Hell no!" is "Really...?" said in a kind but slightly patronising mental tone - like you might use to a six year old who wants to eat "one MILLION cakes!". It means "Come on, do you really want that?" Occasionally the answer is a resounding "YES!" but more usual it's a teenage-sulky "No" or "I don't know...maybe...alright, not today but I'll think about it".

Mr SLTD and I use it on each other too. It helps because it is a real question where yes is an acceptable answer, but it does check the WANT WANT WANT impulse.

Clever Name

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #15 on: April 09, 2018, 05:54:23 AM »
I do something called "shop and drop".  When I find myself in a store (like Marshalls or TJ Maxx) and my shopping cart starts to get full and I notice there is NOTHING in it that I need, I walk away and leave the store.  If there's something I'm still thinking about the following day, I give myself permission to go back and buy it.  I never have.

"Shop and Drop" is my (legal) version of "Dine and Dash" except in a department store instead of a diner.

I bet the store employees love you...

I'm a red panda

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #16 on: April 09, 2018, 07:45:13 AM »
I do something called "shop and drop".  When I find myself in a store (like Marshalls or TJ Maxx) and my shopping cart starts to get full and I notice there is NOTHING in it that I need, I walk away and leave the store.  If there's something I'm still thinking about the following day, I give myself permission to go back and buy it.  I never have.

"Shop and Drop" is my (legal) version of "Dine and Dash" except in a department store instead of a diner.

Wow... I'd at least put the things back.

I will say though, that I have no problem with giving the cashier the impulse thing that snuck into my cart and saying "I've changed my mind, I no longer need this."

jax8

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #17 on: April 09, 2018, 08:46:20 AM »
I do something called "shop and drop".  When I find myself in a store (like Marshalls or TJ Maxx) and my shopping cart starts to get full and I notice there is NOTHING in it that I need, I walk away and leave the store.  If there's something I'm still thinking about the following day, I give myself permission to go back and buy it.  I never have.

"Shop and Drop" is my (legal) version of "Dine and Dash" except in a department store instead of a diner.

I bet the store employees love you...

As a former retail slave...

Sometimes it can suck to walk around and put back a cart full of misc. items but usually, it's a nice break for a cashier who has spent way too many hours at the register and would like to get away from people.  You'd be surprised how many employees fight to go disappear into the aisles for 15 minutes instead of deal with one more stupid customer.

Plus, a "messy" store with dependable foot traffic is job security.  Nothing sucks more than January/February when stores are ghost towns and your manager sends you home 2 hours into your shift.

I'm not saying to go be a slob on purpose, but don't feel ashamed or guilty for setting aside a cart of non-perishables or dropping clothes on the rack outside the fitting room.  It's normal.

partgypsy

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #18 on: April 10, 2018, 11:49:49 AM »
I've been horrible about reducing expenses lately, between house and kids that I don't have much control over. But, when I did have time where not going to spend money and got the urge, I'd say to myself, "not today."
Don't have to worry about yesterday or decide about tomorrow. Just today.

Car Jack

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #19 on: April 10, 2018, 11:53:42 AM »
Should I schedule a test drive in the about-to-arrive Subaru WRX STi-RA that's coming to our dealer?  Hell No.  Because I'd bug the crap out of my wife justifying the purchase.  I'll just stay happy in my Jeep.  You don't get the "Jeep Wave" in a Subaru anyways.

solon

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #20 on: April 10, 2018, 12:28:04 PM »
I heard another one today.

"A nice car is nice. So is a nice bank account."

mm1970

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #21 on: April 10, 2018, 02:05:12 PM »
I get to watch Rockies games for free!

Oh wait, you didn't mean my son's little league team?  Second year he's on the Rockies.  He looks good in purple.

mm1970

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #22 on: April 10, 2018, 02:05:56 PM »
I use: "What problem does this solve? Can I solve it in a less expensive way (or, better yet, for free)?"

-------------

Brain has a discussion: A short play

Nucleus accumbens: "Ooh, ooh, look! I want that magazine. I love thumbing through 'Interior Design Porn Monthly.'"
Frontal lobe: "What problem does this solve?"
Nucleus accumbens: "Well...um...I'll get ideas for decorating the house. It's important to decorate the house. And I just like it."
Frontal lobe: ...
Nucleus accumbens: "Christ, ok...it solves nothing except temporarily feeding my addiction to glossy magazines."
Frontal lobe: "Um, hmm. Can we solve this issue in a less expensive way? Or, better yet, for free?"
Nucleus accumbens: [Sighs] "Yes, the library has this magazine online. And I could Google design stuff." [Scuffs metaphorical heel on floor] "Aw shucks, Frontal!"
Frontal lobe: "You'll thank me in 10 years. Now let's move away from the Ring Dings."
[exeunt]

This is good.

solon

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #23 on: April 10, 2018, 02:08:25 PM »
I use: "What problem does this solve? Can I solve it in a less expensive way (or, better yet, for free)?"

-------------

Brain has a discussion: A short play

Nucleus accumbens: "Ooh, ooh, look! I want that magazine. I love thumbing through 'Interior Design Porn Monthly.'"
Frontal lobe: "What problem does this solve?"
Nucleus accumbens: "Well...um...I'll get ideas for decorating the house. It's important to decorate the house. And I just like it."
Frontal lobe: ...
Nucleus accumbens: "Christ, ok...it solves nothing except temporarily feeding my addiction to glossy magazines."
Frontal lobe: "Um, hmm. Can we solve this issue in a less expensive way? Or, better yet, for free?"
Nucleus accumbens: [Sighs] "Yes, the library has this magazine online. And I could Google design stuff." [Scuffs metaphorical heel on floor] "Aw shucks, Frontal!"
Frontal lobe: "You'll thank me in 10 years. Now let's move away from the Ring Dings."
[exeunt]

This is good.

Yeah, that's pretty much verbatim what goes on in my head. Except that sometimes the nucleus accumbens wins.

solon

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #24 on: April 11, 2018, 10:08:46 AM »
Poor people see money as a way to buy things; rich people see money as a way to make more money.

MilesTeg

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #25 on: April 11, 2018, 10:17:31 AM »
Poor people see money as a way to buy things; rich people see money as a way to make more money.

Healthy, happy people find a balance...

Malkynn

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #26 on: April 11, 2018, 10:24:21 AM »
Poor people see money as a way to buy things; rich people see money as a way to make more money.

Healthy, happy people find a balance...

mic drop...

Basenji

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #27 on: April 11, 2018, 10:26:30 AM »
I use: "What problem does this solve? Can I solve it in a less expensive way (or, better yet, for free)?"

-------------

Brain has a discussion: A short play

Nucleus accumbens: "Ooh, ooh, look! I want that magazine. I love thumbing through 'Interior Design Porn Monthly.'"
Frontal lobe: "What problem does this solve?"
Nucleus accumbens: "Well...um...I'll get ideas for decorating the house. It's important to decorate the house. And I just like it."
Frontal lobe: ...
Nucleus accumbens: "Christ, ok...it solves nothing except temporarily feeding my addiction to glossy magazines."
Frontal lobe: "Um, hmm. Can we solve this issue in a less expensive way? Or, better yet, for free?"
Nucleus accumbens: [Sighs] "Yes, the library has this magazine online. And I could Google design stuff." [Scuffs metaphorical heel on floor] "Aw shucks, Frontal!"
Frontal lobe: "You'll thank me in 10 years. Now let's move away from the Ring Dings."
[exeunt]

This is good.

Yeah, that's pretty much verbatim what goes on in my head. Except that sometimes the nucleus accumbens wins.

Here's how it goes with my personal Gazingus Pin (cookbooks):

Nucleus accumbens: Ooh, ooh, look! I want that cookbook. Cookbookcookbookcookbookcookbookcookbook!
Frontal lobe: What problem does this solve?
Nucleus accumbens: Foooooooood foooooooood---cookbookcookbookcookbookcookbook!
Frontal lobe: HEY! What the--? Stop it! Let go of the credit card!
Nucleus accumbens: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Frontal lobe: Help! Help!
Brainstem: Don't make me turn this car around! So help me if you both don't shut the fuck up!

Dicey

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #28 on: April 11, 2018, 10:34:47 AM »
I do something called "shop and drop".  When I find myself in a store (like Marshalls or TJ Maxx) and my shopping cart starts to get full and I notice there is NOTHING in it that I need, I walk away and leave the store.  If there's something I'm still thinking about the following day, I give myself permission to go back and buy it.  I never have.

"Shop and Drop" is my (legal) version of "Dine and Dash" except in a department store instead of a diner.

I bet the store employees love you...

As a former retail slave...

Sometimes it can suck to walk around and put back a cart full of misc. items but usually, it's a nice break for a cashier who has spent way too many hours at the register and would like to get away from people.  You'd be surprised how many employees fight to go disappear into the aisles for 15 minutes instead of deal with one more stupid customer.

Plus, a "messy" store with dependable foot traffic is job security.  Nothing sucks more than January/February when stores are ghost towns and your manager sends you home 2 hours into your shift.

I'm not saying to go be a slob on purpose, but don't feel ashamed or guilty for setting aside a cart of non-perishables or dropping clothes on the rack outside the fitting room.  It's normal.
As a former retail slave who worked on 100% commission, that behavior actually cost us money in lost productivity. The less catchy "pick it up/put it back where you found it" would be a more responsible approach. The axiom we learned as children, "If you make a mess, clean it up" is good advice for life.
I did it! I have a journal!
A Lot Like This
And hell yes, I am still moving confidently in the direction of my dreams...

Cezilous

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #29 on: April 11, 2018, 11:59:02 AM »
A variety of: "What upkeep comes with this?  Regular cleaning/dusting/etc?  Will it make my space feel more cluttered?  Would it get in the way?  Will I need to do anything with it?  If so, do I look forward to doing that thing, possibly more than once?"  Usually the Lazy pipes up and says "Nope.  Not doing any of that." Okie Dokie then.  Put it down and walk away.

JSMustachian

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #30 on: April 12, 2018, 09:23:31 AM »
Each time I have a day at work that makes me want to quit, it makes it easy for me to not spend any money. It only means I will be FI even sooner.

acroy

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #31 on: April 12, 2018, 10:35:03 AM »
When I find myself in a store....
what, does that happen often? somnambulism? I jest. Avoid houses of temptation!

My internal go-to 'stop it you little bitch'. We seldom go to stores, this happens more on Amazon, and buffet lines!

Amazon hack: mark it all 'save for later' and go live life for a day or 2. Come back and see if you 'need' it or have woken from the 'I want' haze.
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BookLoverL

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #32 on: April 15, 2018, 04:00:13 PM »
If I'm being tempted by something like the chocolate near the check-outs in the supermarket, I tell myself, "No, I don't need that, we have food at home." (That's the usual small purchase I'm tempted by.)

If it's a bigger purchase, I tell myself, "For something this big, I should shop around, instead of just buying it here." Then, once I've left the shop I pretty reliably forget to do that, unless it's something I've actually been wanting for a while instead of just as an impulse buy.
The world is real.

Your actions have consequences.

You can change things.

BlueHouse

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #33 on: May 02, 2018, 10:45:56 AM »
I do something called "shop and drop".  When I find myself in a store (like Marshalls or TJ Maxx) and my shopping cart starts to get full and I notice there is NOTHING in it that I need, I walk away and leave the store.  If there's something I'm still thinking about the following day, I give myself permission to go back and buy it.  I never have.

"Shop and Drop" is my (legal) version of "Dine and Dash" except in a department store instead of a diner.

I bet the store employees love you...

As a former retail slave...

Sometimes it can suck to walk around and put back a cart full of misc. items but usually, it's a nice break for a cashier who has spent way too many hours at the register and would like to get away from people.  You'd be surprised how many employees fight to go disappear into the aisles for 15 minutes instead of deal with one more stupid customer.

Plus, a "messy" store with dependable foot traffic is job security.  Nothing sucks more than January/February when stores are ghost towns and your manager sends you home 2 hours into your shift.

I'm not saying to go be a slob on purpose, but don't feel ashamed or guilty for setting aside a cart of non-perishables or dropping clothes on the rack outside the fitting room.  It's normal.
As a former retail slave who worked on 100% commission, that behavior actually cost us money in lost productivity. The less catchy "pick it up/put it back where you found it" would be a more responsible approach. The axiom we learned as children, "If you make a mess, clean it up" is good advice for life.

In most libraries, the preferred action is to let the librarian restock the shelves to minimize errors and misplaced items.  Some stores are the same, some are not. 
Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

OtherJen

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Re: "Hell no!"
« Reply #34 on: May 02, 2018, 11:23:28 AM »
A variety of: "What upkeep comes with this?  Regular cleaning/dusting/etc?  Will it make my space feel more cluttered?  Would it get in the way?  Will I need to do anything with it?  If so, do I look forward to doing that thing, possibly more than once?"  Usually the Lazy pipes up and says "Nope.  Not doing any of that." Okie Dokie then.  Put it down and walk away.

THIS. I hate housecleaning. We also have pets who shed, so everything gets covered in a layer of animal fluff that must be removed frequently (unless we want tumbleweeds). I am a big fan of clear, flat surfaces that can be easily wiped or vacuumed, which has kept me from buying many tchotchkes.

However, I did finally buy the $25 rubber broom in my Amazon cart. All three pets are shedding their winter coats and I'm going nuts so I don't think I'll regret this purchase.