Author Topic: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)  (Read 13254 times)

Justin234

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"Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« on: March 21, 2013, 11:01:43 PM »
Is there a Mustachian on the Onion staff? This "op-ed" is painful(ly funny) to read if it rings true (and it must ring true to anyone who has a job and feels too busy to do what they want). Maybe it will shock people into doing something different with their lives?

I'll just quote it in full...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/find-the-thing-youre-most-passionate-about-then-do,31742/?ref=auto

Quote
Find The Thing You're Most Passionate About, Then Do It On Nights And Weekends For The Rest Of Your Life

I have always been a big proponent of following your heart and doing exactly what you want to do. It sounds so simple, right? But there are people who spend years—decades, even—trying to find a true sense of purpose for themselves. My advice? Just find the thing you enjoy doing more than anything else, your one true passion, and do it for the rest of your life on nights and weekends when you’re exhausted and cranky and just want to go to bed.

It could be anything—music, writing, drawing, acting, teaching—it really doesn’t matter. All that matters is that once you know what you want to do, you dive in a full 10 percent and spend the other 90 torturing yourself because you know damn well that it’s far too late to make a drastic career change, and that you’re stuck on this mind-numbing path for the rest of your life.

Is there any other way to live?

I can’t stress this enough: Do what you love…in between work commitments, and family commitments, and commitments that tend to pop up and take immediate precedence over doing the thing you love. Because the bottom line is that life is short, and you owe it to yourself to spend the majority of it giving yourself wholly and completely to something you absolutely hate, and 20 minutes here and there doing what you feel you were put on this earth to do.

Before you get started, though, you need to find the one interest or activity that truly fulfills you in ways nothing else can. Then, really immerse yourself in it for a few fleeting moments after an exhausting 10-hour day at a desk job and an excruciating 65-minute commute home. During nights when all you really want to do is lie down and shut your eyes for a few precious hours before you have to drag yourself out of bed for work the next morning, or on weekends when your friends want to hang out and you’re dying to just lie on your couch and watch TV because you’re too fatigued to even think straight—these are the times when you need to do what you enjoy most in life.

Because when you get right down to it, everyone has dreams, and you deserve the chance—hell, you owe it to yourself—to pursue those dreams when you only have enough energy to change out of your work clothes and make yourself a half-assed dinner before passing out.

Say, for example, that your passion is painting. Well, what are you waiting for? Get out there and buy a canvas and some painting supplies! Go sign up for art classes! And when you get so overwhelmed with your job and your personal life that you barely have enough time to see your girlfriend or boyfriend or husband or wife, let alone do anything else, go ahead and skip classes for a few weeks. Then let those paint brushes sit in your room untouched for six months because a major work project came up and you had a bunch of weddings to go to and your kid got sick and money is tighter than you thought it would be and you have to work overtime. And then finally pick those brushes back up again only to realize you’re so rusty that you begin to question whether this was all a giant waste of time, whether you even want to paint anymore, and whether this was just some sort of immature little fantasy you had as a kid and that maybe it’s finally time to grow the fuck up, let painting go, and join the real world because, let’s face it, not everyone gets to live out their dreams.

Not only does that sound fulfilling, but it also sounds pretty fun.

Really, the biggest obstacle to overcome here—aside from every single obligation you have to your friends, family, job, and financial future—is you. And I’ll tell you this much: You don’t want to wake up in 10 years and think to yourself, “What if I had just gone after my dreams during those brief 30-minute lunch breaks when I was younger?” Because even if it doesn’t work out, don’t you owe it to yourself to look in the mirror and confidently say, “You know what, I gave it my best half-hearted shot”?

GreenGuava

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2013, 11:41:18 PM »
Yeah... my co-workers and I read this at work today when we knew the boss was in a meeting.  I know how depressed many of them were reading it.  As for me, I know my exit plan, and it isn't 30+ years off as it is for so many others.

ace1224

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2013, 06:09:19 AM »
it makes me depressed but not for the reason its supposed to.  i honestly think i'm the most boring person alive, i don't have anything that i'm passionate about and i really have no hobbies, unless you count watching the real housewives on bravo.

i've taken art lessons, riding lessons, piano lessons, ballet lessons, surfing lessons, sailing lessons, i'm trying to learn how to ride a bike (ps its hard) i usually dislike being outdoors.  is reading a hobby? i like reading, but i do that at work.

i want to be mustachian to have fuck you money to quit working when i feel like it and be a bump on a log....does that count as a passion?

jrhampt

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2013, 06:49:32 AM »
i want to be mustachian to have fuck you money to quit working when i feel like it and be a bump on a log....does that count as a passion?

"I did nothing.  I did absolutely nothing all day, and it was everything I thought it would be."
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arebelspy

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2013, 06:59:25 AM »
it makes me depressed but not for the reason its supposed to.  i honestly think i'm the most boring person alive, i don't have anything that i'm passionate about and i really have no hobbies, unless you count watching the real housewives on bravo.

i've taken art lessons, riding lessons, piano lessons, ballet lessons, surfing lessons, sailing lessons, i'm trying to learn how to ride a bike (ps its hard) i usually dislike being outdoors.  is reading a hobby? i like reading, but i do that at work.

i want to be mustachian to have fuck you money to quit working when i feel like it and be a bump on a log....does that count as a passion?

There have been multiple people on the forum who have expressed a similar idea.

I don't yet know my passion, or if I'll find one.  I haven't given up, but nor do I constantly strive to find one.  I'm content, but I'll also be trying new things.

I wouldn't stress about it if I were you.

OP: thanks for posting.  Great article.
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igthebold

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2013, 07:49:13 AM »
I don't yet know my passion, or if I'll find one.  I haven't given up, but nor do I constantly strive to find one.  I'm content, but I'll also be trying new things.

I wouldn't stress about it if I were you.

Definitely. Otherwise you're stuck with financial independence and ennui. Or, more likely, financial dependence due to lack of motivation.

ace1224

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2013, 08:01:18 AM »
it makes me depressed but not for the reason its supposed to.  i honestly think i'm the most boring person alive, i don't have anything that i'm passionate about and i really have no hobbies, unless you count watching the real housewives on bravo.

i've taken art lessons, riding lessons, piano lessons, ballet lessons, surfing lessons, sailing lessons, i'm trying to learn how to ride a bike (ps its hard) i usually dislike being outdoors.  is reading a hobby? i like reading, but i do that at work.

i want to be mustachian to have fuck you money to quit working when i feel like it and be a bump on a log....does that count as a passion?

There have been multiple people on the forum who have expressed a similar idea.

I don't yet know my passion, or if I'll find one.  I haven't given up, but nor do I constantly strive to find one.  I'm content, but I'll also be trying new things.

I wouldn't stress about it if I were you.

OP: thanks for posting.  Great article.

that is a great comment thanks.  i usually feel bad because i'm surrounded by people irl who have passions and i don't...and its rather ironic because out of all of us i have the most financial independence. 
one will come to me if its supposed to.

FriendlyLibrarian

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #7 on: March 22, 2013, 09:28:46 AM »
When I was in college I was a year away from becoming an RN and I changed majors because I knew I wasn't going to be happy doing that for the rest of my life. I am so ridiculously happy doing what I do and my life is less stressful because of it, even though my paycheck is significantly smaller than what it would be if I hadn't changed.

Jon_Snow

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #8 on: March 22, 2013, 04:44:25 PM »
I have a ****load of hobbies and interest and passions.

Of all the aspects of my life, my job is the one thing I have ZERO passion about.

Won't have to worry about that in 364 days. ;)

Zoot Allures

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #9 on: March 27, 2013, 04:12:33 PM »
I don't yet know my passion, or if I'll find one.  I haven't given up, but nor do I constantly strive to find one.  I'm content, but I'll also be trying new things.

These are wise words. Achieving contentment is a far more important goal than identifying the precise color of one's parachute, or whatever. Talk about first-world problems. I have passions and my sister does not, and we struggle for different reasons. I often long to achieve mastery at something instead of dabbling in so many different (but interesting!) things. My sister berates herself for having no real interests to pursue. But a human life is not about hobbies or careers--it's about (I would argue) becoming fully aware and at peace, however one gets there.

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #10 on: March 27, 2013, 10:38:50 PM »
it makes me depressed but not for the reason its supposed to.  i honestly think i'm the most boring person alive, i don't have anything that i'm passionate about and i really have no hobbies, unless you count watching the real housewives on bravo.

i've taken art lessons, riding lessons, piano lessons, ballet lessons, surfing lessons, sailing lessons, i'm trying to learn how to ride a bike (ps its hard) i usually dislike being outdoors.  is reading a hobby? i like reading, but i do that at work.

i want to be mustachian to have fuck you money to quit working when i feel like it and be a bump on a log....does that count as a passion?

There have been multiple people on the forum who have expressed a similar idea.

I don't yet know my passion, or if I'll find one.  I haven't given up, but nor do I constantly strive to find one.  I'm content, but I'll also be trying new things.

I wouldn't stress about it if I were you.

OP: thanks for posting.  Great article.

I've got this problem.  Sure, in general I enjoy doing a variety of things, particular learning and thinking about new things.   But there's no single thing I would choose to do every day for the rest of my life -- i.e. something traditionally referred to as a "passion".

MrMoneyMullet

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #11 on: March 28, 2013, 10:42:52 AM »

I've got this problem.  Sure, in general I enjoy doing a variety of things, particular learning and thinking about new things.   But there's no single thing I would choose to do every day for the rest of my life -- i.e. something traditionally referred to as a "passion".

Same here. My passion is learning about new things. It involves a lot of reading, so you could say that reading is my passion, or that learning is my passion. At times I do wish I had one area in which I had deep expertise, but at present I would say that I don't. More of a functional understanding of many diverse topics.

Jamesqf

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #12 on: March 28, 2013, 11:34:10 AM »
I've got this problem.  Sure, in general I enjoy doing a variety of things, particular learning and thinking about new things.   But there's no single thing I would choose to do every day for the rest of my life -- i.e. something traditionally referred to as a "passion".

I wouldn't call it a problem.  In fact, if anyone has a problem, it's the people who're fixated on some "passion" to the exclusion of everything else.

Tyler

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #13 on: March 28, 2013, 11:48:11 AM »
People are often passionate about things they don't have. Those with boring jobs are passionate about travel and adventure. Those with struggling marriages are passionate about ... er ... Passion.  Engineers are passionate about art. The downtrodden are passionate about equality. Young hard-working mustacians are passionate about ER. ;)  So for many, passion is in reality a defense mechanism rather than a calling.

There's nothing wrong with that. But it does mean that passions can change over time. Hedonic adaptation, and all that.   And I think too many people confuse passion with purpose - one plays defense, while the other plays offense.

Seek purpose, not passion. Direction, and not distraction. And don't sweat a "dull" life. Feeling content is a perfectly desirable state of mind, and your "passionate" friends aren't necessarily happy.

spider1204

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #14 on: March 28, 2013, 11:57:22 AM »
Kind of relevant talk about passions, about how they are not something you just stumble into and are all of a sudden passionate about, but that it's more of a learned and developed thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwOdU02SE0w

Russ

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #15 on: March 28, 2013, 12:36:10 PM »
In fact, if anyone has a problem, it's the people who're fixated on some "passion" to the exclusion of everything else.

And why is this such a bad thing?

Justin234

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #16 on: March 28, 2013, 12:42:33 PM »
Re: specialization versus generalization, Robert Heinlein said:

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

You might say capacity can be it's own passion.

(I read this quote recently, and it may have been here on this forum or on the MMM blog, can't remember)

Jamesqf

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #17 on: March 28, 2013, 04:35:13 PM »
In fact, if anyone has a problem, it's the people who're fixated on some "passion" to the exclusion of everything else.

And why is this such a bad thing?

1) I did write "if" there, you know.

2) Look up obsessive disorder.  Where's the border between passion and obsession?

spider1204

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #18 on: March 28, 2013, 04:48:06 PM »
Quote
In fact, if anyone has a problem, it's the people who're fixated on some "passion" to the exclusion of everything else.
Quote
And why is this such a bad thing?
Quote
1) I did write "if" there, you know.

2) Look up obsessive disorder.  Where's the border between passion and obsession?

Is a disorder necessarily a bad thing?  They call ADD a disorder, but I actually quite enjoy it.

Jamesqf

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #19 on: March 29, 2013, 11:35:55 AM »
They call ADD a disorder, but I actually quite enjoy it.

But that's the problem of the education & psychology establishment, who've chosen to slap a "disorder" label on part of the normal range of human variation, simply because people in that range are inconvenient for them to deal with.

Again, you're taking what I wrote quite a bit farther than I meant.  Now if you want to be passionate about something, and that passion doesn't cause you problems with the rest of life, fine.  But there's absolutely nothing wrong with those of us - who're probably the majority - who may never get any closer to "passion" than interest and enthusiasm.

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #20 on: March 29, 2013, 12:45:14 PM »
I'm so glad to be reading this thread and know that it's 'okay' to not have a passion.  Everything you read says to "find what you're passionate about".... umm, my husband?  It doesn't help that my mom knew at an early age she wanted to be a tax accountant and my dad always built boats or was heavy into photography, my husband loves, loves, loves his work (industrial mechanic) and is passionate about flying model jets.  And then there is me.  I like a little bit of everything, but will never be a master at any of them.... the thought of only throwing my interest/time into one thing sounds dreadful. 

Even at work, my boss asks me where I want to go with the company, where do I see my passions.... umm, I like to try different things.... can't I just do that until I retire (which is only a couple of years anyway..).  It's the single most dreaded conversation I have at work... I even struggle to make something up just so he'll be happy and quit pestering me.

Anyway, cheers to us who are Jack/Jills of all trades and masters of none!

Jamesqf

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #21 on: March 29, 2013, 01:44:18 PM »
I like a little bit of everything, but will never be a master at any of them.... the thought of only throwing my interest/time into one thing sounds dreadful.

Exactly!  I can get interested in... well, not everything, 'cause a lot of things are just intrinsically boring, but so many more things than I can possibly cram into one lifetime.  For me, anyway, a lot of the fun comes from the learning process.  I will get heavily into some new thing, but once I achieve a reasonable competence, my interest declines as I move on to learning something new.

rue

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #22 on: March 29, 2013, 10:54:55 PM »
I am not saying that not having a passion is a disorder and I am saying that there is no one explanation that is an answer for everyone- there isn’t because we are all so diverse.  However I have been (and sometimes still am) chronically stressed due to the nature of my work.  When I was very stressed I shut down emotionally and my self esteem plummeted.  I didn’t think I was good at anything and had no energy to be passionate about jack shit.  I mean I was too tired for the very literal stereo typical passion aka sex.  Sometimes when we have the time and space to be a bump on the log we reclaim our creativity and passion in all its different forms will grow.  Just my take on it!

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #23 on: April 06, 2013, 01:03:13 PM »

i've taken art lessons, riding lessons, piano lessons, ballet lessons, surfing lessons, sailing lessons, i'm trying to learn how to ride a bike (ps its hard) i usually dislike being outdoors.  is reading a hobby? i like reading, but i do that at work.

You do have a passion - looking for your passion!  No one takes that many lessons if they are not getting enjoyment from searching for their passion!  I am similar.  Except I would describe myself as having a million passions.  So many that I do none of them particularly well.  I am a generalist in the extreme.  I know just enough to be dangerous in a hundred different fields.  I can't wait to have a lot of time to spend learning about all kind of things that I will never use...

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #24 on: April 06, 2013, 10:18:36 PM »
Except that there's no passion involved, only various degrees of interest.  What else would you do with your time, just sit around and be bored?

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #25 on: April 06, 2013, 11:23:52 PM »
They call ADD a disorder, but I actually quite enjoy it.

But that's the problem of the education & psychology establishment, who've chosen to slap a "disorder" label on part of the normal range of human variation, simply because people in that range are inconvenient for them to deal with.
In the world of psychiatric diagnoses, something is only a 'disorder' if it causes significant impairment or you can't function effectively because of it. If you enjoy your 'ADD' and you are functioning fine, then by definition it isn't ADD. It's somewhat arbitrary as to what constitutes impairment, but some things can never be black and white.

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #26 on: April 07, 2013, 11:51:47 AM »
In the world of psychiatric diagnoses, something is only a 'disorder' if it causes significant impairment or you can't function effectively because of it. If you enjoy your 'ADD' and you are functioning fine, then by definition it isn't ADD. It's somewhat arbitrary as to what constitutes impairment, but some things can never be black and white.

Sorry, but this is just not so.  Most kids with ADD are, as far as I can tell, just being fairly normal active kids: they run around a lot, have short attention spans, are easily distracted, etc.  In short, not too different from a bunch of puppies, kittens, foals, or the young of most species.  The education establishment doesn't want to deal with them on this basis, so has invented a disorder label to stick on them.

Hamster

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #27 on: April 07, 2013, 06:56:49 PM »
Sorry, but this is just not so.  Most kids with ADD are, as far as I can tell, just being fairly normal active kids: they run around a lot, have short attention spans, are easily distracted, etc.  In short, not too different from a bunch of puppies, kittens, foals, or the young of most species.  The education establishment doesn't want to deal with them on this basis, so has invented a disorder label to stick on them.
Well, then the people you are describing with ADD actually don't have ADD, by definition.
http://www.ldawe.ca/DSM_IV.html

the very definition of AD(H)D includes that the symptoms must be maladaptive, must be inconsistent with the developmental level of the child (or adult) and must cause significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning. So, when you describe an active child who is inattentive at times, but is doing well and is developmentally appropriate, they do not have ADD. If someone calls it ADD, but the child has no impairment then they are simply wrong.

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #28 on: April 07, 2013, 07:05:39 PM »
I think jamessqf is arguing that ADD may be improperly/overly diagnosed.

Which may be true, but is also neither here nor there regarding the discussion of it as a disorder.
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Hamster

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #29 on: April 07, 2013, 08:03:33 PM »
I think jamessqf is arguing that ADD may be improperly/overly diagnosed.
I agree, and maybe I'm being too pedantic in how I'm stating that being energetic or even being labeled ADD is not synonymous with actually having ADD. The problem isn't so much the definition. It's that it is applied inappropriately.

arebelspy

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #30 on: April 07, 2013, 08:18:05 PM »
I think jamessqf is arguing that ADD may be improperly/overly diagnosed.
I agree, and maybe I'm being too pedantic in how I'm stating that being energetic or even being labeled ADD is not synonymous with actually having ADD. The problem isn't so much the definition. It's that it is applied inappropriately.

Agreed.
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Jamesqf

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #31 on: April 07, 2013, 09:21:58 PM »
the very definition of AD(H)D includes that the symptoms must be maladaptive, must be inconsistent with the developmental level of the child (or adult) and must cause significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning. So, when you describe an active child who is inattentive at times, but is doing well and is developmentally appropriate, they do not have ADD. If someone calls it ADD, but the child has no impairment then they are simply wrong.

I think you missed the point I was trying to make.  While there may in fact be some few people that really have the maladaptive sort of ADD you describe, for most the real problem is that they are placed in an environment that is maladapted to raising healthy humans.  It's like trying to raise a healthy puppy when you keep in in a crate most of its life.

ace1224

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #32 on: April 08, 2013, 05:42:36 AM »
Except that there's no passion involved, only various degrees of interest.  What else would you do with your time, just sit around and be bored?
see that is the problem i run into.  honestly i would probably watch a lot of bad reality tv until i tired of that.  i dislike traveling.... i live close to a beach so i'd probably just sit at the beach every day and read.  i like doing that, and sleeping, and eating really good food that i didn't make myself. 
i keep trying new things one day i might find something i like

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #33 on: April 08, 2013, 06:17:50 AM »
I don't think I have a passion. I get passionate about some things, but it never seems to last beyond a couple of years so I don't feel they're true passions. I call them temporary infatuations. Then there are things I have always enjoyed doing but I am not necessarily intense about them. Sometimes I feel envious of people who really know what they want and really go for it, but then I remember I'm pretty content, I am curious/interested in lots of things and I rarely feel bored. So that's good.

frugalman

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #34 on: April 08, 2013, 10:08:07 AM »
You can choose to be passionate about something, or just enjoy something.  Sometimes an enjoyable area of your life grows into a passion, sometimes not.  I wouldn't sweat the difference.  I enjoy golfing, my wife is passionate about golfing!  She lords it over me that I have never had a hole in one, and she has two!  I'm happy for her that she is passionate about golf, and she belongs to a senior's league.  We also play a lot of golf together.  She's very competitive and enjoys the times she beats me (about 10 to 20 percent of the time).

Anyhow, I am content with enjoying a great many things, yet having no controlling passion amongst any of them.  It's OK with me.  Life is fun!

Lina

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #35 on: April 08, 2013, 10:39:48 AM »
I would say my passion is learning new things. I have tried a lot of things and will probably continue doing that. I like the challenge of learning new things, which is probably why I love reading and taking different kind of courses. I have taken skiing, golfing, dancing, swimming, french, ju-jutsu and running lessons just to name a few. I have also taken a lot of different university courses. Now, I am doing triathlons and who knows what it will be in a couple of years.

mobilisinmobili

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Re: "Find What You're Passionate About..." (The Onion)
« Reply #36 on: April 08, 2013, 10:41:22 AM »
i want to be mustachian to have fuck you money to quit working when i feel like it and be a bump on a log....does that count as a passion?

"I did nothing.  I did absolutely nothing all day, and it was everything I thought it would be."
--Office Space

Office Space is like a zen novel to modernity.