Hmmm . . . I can't put a finger on exactly what it is, but I see some of "Past Me" in her post, and Past Me had some unhealthy hang-ups about money.
She says she grew up thinking she was poor. I grew up KNOWING we were poor. When I got out on my own, I had trouble spending money -- I was always afraid to spend. The example that stands out in my mind is shoes. When I was in college I always wore those little flat white Keds (still do), and I'd go through about two pair a year. I mean literally go through as in wear holes in the bottoms. I'd have a couple hundred dollars in the bank (which wasn't half-bad for a minimum-wage college student with few resources), yet I'd still be frozen with terror at the idea of needing a new pair of shoes; I'd tell myself that if the shoes were good enough for today, they were good enough for another month, and I'd tell myself that if I spent $20 on shoes today, I was SURE to get sick and need some medicine next week. I'd put cardboard in the bottoms (which was not comfortable) to make them last another week. Before I'd break down and buy shoes, I'd become frantic about it almost to the point of making myself sick. It was a by-product of growing up without financial security.
Another example I remember clearly is clothes for myself. I remember a time back when I was a young mother when I suddenly realized, "Every item of clothing I own is fit for the rag bag." I had a light bulb moment when I realized that it was smarter to buy 1-2 new outfits every spring and every fall rather than letting my whole wardrobe fall into a state of disrepute so that I needed A BUNCH of stuff all at once. And I realized that it was a personal hang-up: It was partially about self-esteem, and it was about taking a good thing too far. In trying to save every penny, I put myself into a bad situation.
I got over it, and today I'm still saver . . . but I'm also able to buy things without hysterics. I suspect Karen, the girl whose story is told in the article, is an awful lot like Past Me.
