Author Topic: "As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle....  (Read 152276 times)

BlueHouse

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Buy a tongue scraper.  Just be warned, you will not go back.  Same goes for electric toothbrush.

Yep... I'm a fan of electric toothbrushes. Worth the extra cost IMO.

Tongue scraper -- YES!  Dr. Collins' Tongue Squigi is the only one I use that doesn't make me gag.  It is disgusting what is on your tongue, even after brushing. 
Also, my dentist recommends electric toothbrush at night and manual in the morning (or vice versa).  having variety seems to be helpful

sol

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That's what the doctor's orders all specify,

I'm sure they do.  But I have more education and credentials than those doctors do, and I'm telling you that they are wrong.

Doctors are people too, they can be misled and deceived just like anyone else.  I don't pretend to know how to evaluate patient illness and disease, and they should not pretend to know how to evaluate water quality and chemistry.

Flint, MI and some other municipal water supplies come to mind

There are lots of known cases of bad tap water.  Some of those places even have bottled water factories in them!  Selling you that same bad water for $3.29/gallon.

And how many cases of bad bottled water have there been?  Nobody knows!  Nobody is looking.  But I assure you the percentage of contaminated bottled water is WAY higher than the percentage of contaminated tap water.  It has to be, since they use the same tap water most of the time, and untested unsafe water sources the rest of the time.

When I lived in Moscow, no one drank the tap water because of heavy metal content (among other concerns).

Anybody who is drinking groundwater from a private well is exempted from my scorn.  Your water isn't being tested, and you have no idea if it's clean or not.  You can buy all the bottled water you want, just be aware it is only someone else's tap water, not miracle juice.

And if you live in Moscow Idaho or any of the other thousand towns immediately downstream from a USEPA Superfund site, please don't drink the local groundwater.  That shit will give your family a permanent orange afro.  Your groundwater is suspect.

Bracken_Joy

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That's what the doctor's orders all specify,

I'm sure they do.  But I have more education and credentials than those doctors do, and I'm telling you that they are wrong.

Doctors are people too, they can be misled and deceived just like anyone else.  I don't pretend to know how to evaluate patient illness and disease, and they should not pretend to know how to evaluate water quality and chemistry.

Flint, MI and some other municipal water supplies come to mind

There are lots of known cases of bad tap water.  Some of those places even have bottled water factories in them!  Selling you that same bad water for $3.29/gallon.

And how many cases of bad bottled water have there been?  Nobody knows!  Nobody is looking.  But I assure you the percentage of contaminated bottled water is WAY higher than the percentage of contaminated tap water.  It has to be, since they use the same tap water most of the time, and untested unsafe water sources the rest of the time.

When I lived in Moscow, no one drank the tap water because of heavy metal content (among other concerns).

Anybody who is drinking groundwater from a private well is exempted from my scorn.  Your water isn't being tested, and you have no idea if it's clean or not.  You can buy all the bottled water you want, just be aware it is only someone else's tap water, not miracle juice.

And if you live in Moscow Idaho or any of the other thousand towns immediately downstream from a USEPA Superfund site, please don't drink the local groundwater.  That shit will give your family a permanent orange afro.  Your groundwater is suspect.

Sol- I'm 100% not saying you are wrong. In fact, I can count the number of times I have bought a bottle of water on one hand. And I would love to change to using tap water, since I have read other things backing exactly what you are saying. But there really isn't any functional way for me to change this without going to the policy level. For things like this, Docs are just following essentially check lists. Someone, once, decided that's how it's done. So now that's how it's ordered. For it not to be ordered like that, you have to change the checklist.

I have no desire to go and try and make policy changes. And there's a reason people always follow whats been done- even if it's worse, it's commonly accepted as better, so you have plausible deniability, you're not apt to get malpractice charges.

If there was a reasonable boots on the ground way I could change it as a field RN I would. But there isn't.

onlykelsey

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When I lived in Moscow, no one drank the tap water because of heavy metal content (among other concerns).

Anybody who is drinking groundwater from a private well is exempted from my scorn.  Your water isn't being tested, and you have no idea if it's clean or not.  You can buy all the bottled water you want, just be aware it is only someone else's tap water, not miracle juice.

And if you live in Moscow Idaho or any of the other thousand towns immediately downstream from a USEPA Superfund site, please don't drink the local groundwater.  That shit will give your family a permanent orange afro.  Your groundwater is suspect.


This is probably also true, but I was talking about the Russian megapolis.  Muscovites (rightly) do not trust their government's claim about the water being safe, although I think most of the issues come from the pipes and transportation of water (lead content) rather than from bacteria or pollution.  Seems like more of a slow burning problem.  I wasn't so much worried about getting a stomach bug.  Additionally every few years there is some outbreak of bacteria and they drain all the public swimming pools, so I don't think it builds trust.

It turns out the rest of Russia is much more screwed when it comes to water quality, though: https://www.rt.com/news/almost-all-water-in-russia-is-undrinkable/

going2ER

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As a government worker: Don't lie to us. We will eventually find out, not always right away, but when we do you can have charges laid and will most definately be repaying any monies. We will garnish any and all income you have coming in until that amount is repaid. Its much easier and less costly to just to tell the truth upfront.

Kaspian

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Writing here because I mostly want to bookmark and someday printout all the best bits.  (Great thread!!)

I've had friends who have difficulty with employment (and life in general).  Usually because they fail at one of the following (which are all fairly simple):

1.  Show up to important shit!  Show up!!  On time!
2.  Complete all paperwork promptly (immediately) when it's handed to you.  Paperwork is mostly BS but do it right away.
3.  Make sure your grammar and spelling is impecable for anything work/professional/government/health/serious related. 

Besides not making a nuisance of yourself, that's really all there is to being successful--actually showing up, doing paperwork, and showing you're not a dumbass.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2016, 09:30:20 AM by Kaspian »

forummm

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That's what the doctor's orders all specify,

I'm sure they do.  But I have more education and credentials than those doctors do, and I'm telling you that they are wrong.

Doctors are people too, they can be misled and deceived just like anyone else.  I don't pretend to know how to evaluate patient illness and disease, and they should not pretend to know how to evaluate water quality and chemistry.

Flint, MI and some other municipal water supplies come to mind

There are lots of known cases of bad tap water.  Some of those places even have bottled water factories in them!  Selling you that same bad water for $3.29/gallon.

And how many cases of bad bottled water have there been?  Nobody knows!  Nobody is looking.  But I assure you the percentage of contaminated bottled water is WAY higher than the percentage of contaminated tap water.  It has to be, since they use the same tap water most of the time, and untested unsafe water sources the rest of the time.

It's true that a lot of doctors don't know what they are talking about. The bottled water thing sounds like liability ass covering.

What hasn't come up in this exchange is that bottled water has contaminants in it that aren't in tap water, even when the water is from the same source. Ever noticed how bottled water tastes a little plasticy? Chemicals leach out of the plastic in the bottles. And more chemicals leach out as the bottle ages or is in the heat. Due to industry-friendly laws, we do about zero research into how bad for you these chemicals are. But chemicals of this nature do lots of fun things like endocrine disruption, hormone regulation and substitution, and more. Bottled water is just one of many sources of untested chemicals we get, but I would be willing to bet a lot of money that when we eventually do learn what all these chemicals do for sure we'll find out that a lot of modern diseases (obesity, diabetes, autism, allergies, cancers, etc) are caused by or enhanced by these chemicals we are consuming. PDBEs, phthalates, plasticizers of all kinds, etc. Many are xenoestrogenic.

Blonde Lawyer

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I wonder if the home health bottled water issue is about using distilled water.  I have a cpap and need to use distilled water to avoid build up.  If distilled isn't available I'm advised to use bottled to avoid breathing in chlorine.  I've still used tap water at my parents house though because they have an artesian well (no chlorine) that is regularly tested.

Bracken_Joy

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I wonder if the home health bottled water issue is about using distilled water.  I have a cpap and need to use distilled water to avoid build up.  If distilled isn't available I'm advised to use bottled to avoid breathing in chlorine.  I've still used tap water at my parents house though because they have an artesian well (no chlorine) that is regularly tested.

I do wonder if this plays a role. I can't imagine chlorine playing nicely with some of the medications we give, and since we use the water to reconstitute... I dunno. Also, a lot of the feedings we give are "elemental". I wonder if there's a degradation question there?

Like I said, I'm not about to stop following my orders as written when it's considered best practice in the field.

Spork

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I wonder if the home health bottled water issue is about using distilled water.  I have a cpap and need to use distilled water to avoid build up.  If distilled isn't available I'm advised to use bottled to avoid breathing in chlorine.  I've still used tap water at my parents house though because they have an artesian well (no chlorine) that is regularly tested.

I do wonder if this plays a role. I can't imagine chlorine playing nicely with some of the medications we give, and since we use the water to reconstitute... I dunno. Also, a lot of the feedings we give are "elemental". I wonder if there's a degradation question there?

Like I said, I'm not about to stop following my orders as written when it's considered best practice in the field.

I'm not entirely sure what sort of illness you're dealing with, but just FYI:  Watching my dad in the hospital with tube feedings and tube medications over 3 months (in varying stages of pretty serious health/immune compromise) ... The nurses used tap water.  This was at 2 different hospitals in different cities.  Not a huge survey sample, I know.  Just a FYI.

Kaspian

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What hasn't come up in this exchange is that bottled water has contaminants in it that aren't in tap water, even when the water is from the same source. Ever noticed how bottled water tastes a little plasticy? Chemicals leach out of the plastic in the bottles. And more chemicals leach out as the bottle ages or is in the heat. Due to industry-friendly laws, we do about zero research into how bad for you these chemicals are. But chemicals of this nature do lots of fun things like endocrine disruption, hormone regulation and substitution, and more. Bottled water is just one of many sources of untested chemicals we get, but I would be willing to bet a lot of money that when we eventually do learn what all these chemicals do for sure we'll find out that a lot of modern diseases (obesity, diabetes, autism, allergies, cancers, etc) are caused by or enhanced by these chemicals we are consuming. PDBEs, phthalates, plasticizers of all kinds, etc. Many are xenoestrogenic.

Good point!  One of the things I though was funny is that for a long time (maybe they still do?) the bottles used to say (something like) "MWS Detroit" on the side.  For years the industry wouldn't tell people exactly what that meant.  It came out to mean "Municipal Water Source/Supply".  Yeah, people were paying a premium for Detroit tap water.

Bracken_Joy

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I wonder if the home health bottled water issue is about using distilled water.  I have a cpap and need to use distilled water to avoid build up.  If distilled isn't available I'm advised to use bottled to avoid breathing in chlorine.  I've still used tap water at my parents house though because they have an artesian well (no chlorine) that is regularly tested.

I do wonder if this plays a role. I can't imagine chlorine playing nicely with some of the medications we give, and since we use the water to reconstitute... I dunno. Also, a lot of the feedings we give are "elemental". I wonder if there's a degradation question there?

Like I said, I'm not about to stop following my orders as written when it's considered best practice in the field.

I'm not entirely sure what sort of illness you're dealing with, but just FYI:  Watching my dad in the hospital with tube feedings and tube medications over 3 months (in varying stages of pretty serious health/immune compromise) ... The nurses used tap water.  This was at 2 different hospitals in different cities.  Not a huge survey sample, I know.  Just a FYI.

Yes, and hospitals check their water supplies. Many of the places I work could at best be called "tenements". Brown water when you turn on the tap, anyone? Even better- only sink access shared between 15 people? Yep! Home health is a different world, sadly.

PAstash

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5. you should own one firearm and...
a. be trained in it's proper use
b. storage
c. know how to keep it in proper working order.


How about just have tighter gun la..


Joking, let's not go down that path :-p

More then happy to have a polite discussion if you would care to?

I guess we should also just have tighter laws against murder cause that will cure that also =). You would be astonished i bet that i am for quite a few guns laws that firearms lobbyists would scoff at. However i am also a realist.

NoraLenderbee

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Personally I do not run, because walking is my primary form of transportation and want to keep my knees as long as possible.

The idea that running damages/causes excess wear in your knees is a myth - practically every study ever done on it has concluded that the increase in strength in surrounding musculature holds the joint more securely, reducing the chance of injury, and the impact stimulates cartilage growth and increases bone density rather than reducing it. I'm a qualified PT, ultra distance runner and I work with professional cyclists and triathletes in my dayjob.

Survivorship effect? Perhaps the people the people who become long-distance runners are those who naturally have durable knees and good biomechanics for running. People whose knees get injured don't continue to run.

Pigeon

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Quote
Will look into that. It's been several years, and tap still tastes bad to her (though not as bad as before). I'm guessing its chlorine or whatever minerals.

I went through chemo several years ago.  Tap water (and nearly everything else) tasted and smelled disgusting.  I could smell the chlorine in tap water if someone poured a glass and had it sitting in another room.  It was the absolute weirdest thing.

Dh put in an under sink filter and the water stopped making me retch. 

Reynold

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I work in the patent field.  First, if you have an idea for a brilliant thing, assuming it isn't complex and technical (in which case it may belong to your employer, because you are probably in a technical field where they make you sign agreements about that kind of thing), you can save money in most cases by researching to see if something like it exists already.  A patent attorney or agent does not, by default, do searches to see if what you want to patent exists, that is extra and often done by another company.  You know your field at least as well as they do, probably better, since you invented something in it!  Many will happily take your money, file the patent, and a couple of years later when the patent office gets back to them with an office action, say "Sorry, doesn't look like we can get around this."  The fact that you didn't find it today at Walmart doesn't mean someone didn't file a patent on it 20 years ago, or isn't currently running a largely unsuccessful business trying to sell it on the internet, or didn't describe it in a magazine article.  A lot of fairly simple stuff has been thought of already.

Second, 99 out of 100 patents don't end up being worth a heck of a lot.  The patent office will grant you a patent for something new, but that doesn't mean anyone wants it at a price you can build it for.  Companies will not typically beg you for a license to your patent, they usually have a bunch of people and departments inside the company already begging them to fund different ideas for business development, why would they want to pay you for yours when they have that for free? 

Third, while you are allowed to file a patent yourself if you are an inventor on it, it is a really bad idea.  If your total mechanical experience is seeing a few cars drive by, and someone gives you a complete pile of parts and an owners manual, chances of you building a car that can win races are slim.  And the race winning patents are the ones that *might* be worth something.  It costs some money to pay someone to draft the patent, maybe $5-10k, but in general, if you can't afford to pay to file a patent, you REALLY won't be able to afford to get your product designed, built, marketed, distributed, etc.  If you are hoping some big company will snap it up and take care of all of those tedious and expensive details, see the paragraph above. 

G-dog

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I work in the patent field.  First, if you have an idea for a brilliant thing, assuming it isn't complex and technical (in which case it may belong to your employer, because you are probably in a technical field where they make you sign agreements about that kind of thing), you can save money in most cases by researching to see if something like it exists already.  A patent attorney or agent does not, by default, do searches to see if what you want to patent exists, that is extra and often done by another company.  You know your field at least as well as they do, probably better, since you invented something in it!  Many will happily take your money, file the patent, and a couple of years later when the patent office gets back to them with an office action, say "Sorry, doesn't look like we can get around this."  The fact that you didn't find it today at Walmart doesn't mean someone didn't file a patent on it 20 years ago, or isn't currently running a largely unsuccessful business trying to sell it on the internet, or didn't describe it in a magazine article.  A lot of fairly simple stuff has been thought of already.

Second, 99 out of 100 patents don't end up being worth a heck of a lot.  The patent office will grant you a patent for something new, but that doesn't mean anyone wants it at a price you can build it for.  Companies will not typically beg you for a license to your patent, they usually have a bunch of people and departments inside the company already begging them to fund different ideas for business development, why would they want to pay you for yours when they have that for free? 

Third, while you are allowed to file a patent yourself if you are an inventor on it, it is a really bad idea.  If your total mechanical experience is seeing a few cars drive by, and someone gives you a complete pile of parts and an owners manual, chances of you building a car that can win races are slim.  And the race winning patents are the ones that *might* be worth something.  It costs some money to pay someone to draft the patent, maybe $5-10k, but in general, if you can't afford to pay to file a patent, you REALLY won't be able to afford to get your product designed, built, marketed, distributed, etc.  If you are hoping some big company will snap it up and take care of all of those tedious and expensive details, see the paragraph above.

I was in the patent field too, and Reynold is spot on, or perhaps a little optimistic. I would say that at least 999 out of 1000 patents are worthless.
If you shop your invention to a company they will ignore, steal, or invent around it unless what you've invented is REALLY groundbreaking AND unless your patent and counsel are phenomenally good.

SeanMC

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Most behavioral problems people have with their dogs can be quickly resolved by either: (1) telling the dog not to do the thing (clearly and consistently) or (2) blocking access to the situation in the first place.

LOL, my dog is highly dog reactive. Now that we are in a neighborhood where I plan to stay for the long term, my dog will get within about five feet of the neighbor's dog without having a meltdown, so long as the other dog stays still and is behind a fence. Telling her to be nice or not to react doesn't help. Other than that behavior, she is perfect. Very loving, doesn't tear up things in the house, recognizes what items are dog toys and what aren't, etc... I'll take it over quite a few dogs I've seen.

Ugh. Dog reactivity can be tough. I've been there, done that.

For most people whose dogs have dog reactivity, the best solution is still exactly what I wrote in #2: blocking access to the trigger. As I said, the solution is usually either that "no" works OR you have to manage the situation so that the circumstances don't happen. If your dog has a meltdown within 5 feet of the other dog, the solution is...don't let your dog get within 7-8 feet of the other dog.

For moderate to serious reactivity, this can mean forgoing walks as exercise entirely (in favor of other exercise) or only taking the dog out at times of day, in location, and using train tools that allow you to avoid other dogs.

And, yes, for some dogs, you can train to counter-condition and desensitize, to either overcome and minimize the reactivity issues. However, this is not true for all dogs who have reactivity challenges, and the vast majority of dog owners are not interested in or capable of the amount of time and patience it takes to achieve it.

I hope your dog adjusts well to the neighborhood!

MrsPete

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As a teacher:
 
- Read to your kids every night. And spend time with them every day, doing something engaged (like a board game or a walk, not watching television). Don't zone out of parenting when they get less cute (around 10 upwards). Zoning out of parenting early almost guarantees that your kids will never leave home.

-If your teenager is nearly failing class, the solution is NOT to buy them an ipad or laptop for school. You have just bought them the gold standard for disengagement. Where the used to while away the class time throwing spitballs and drawing penises on things, they can now play games/surf net/take selfies/watch pirated movies instead of learning algebra. And cry/scream/swear/chuck an absolute tantrum and disrupt my entire class when they are caught doing it and have to do detention. It's akin to sending your kid to school daily hyped up on energy drinks and sugar (also happens), not helpful to anyone.

- If you are having trouble motivating/controlling your rebellious teenager to behave, how/why on earth do expect me to get better results from them? With 30 kids at once, for an hour a day, while trying to teach them physics? I will try my hardest to help them, but if they are lazy/disrespectful/unmotivated at home, they're likely acting the same way at school. I cannot make your child study, or learn, or pass. If your child tries to learn, really puts in a good effort, I will move mountains to help them pass.

- And finally, thankyou to the 90% of parents who almost always send a properly-dressed, properly-resourced, quasi-motivated, fed, well-rested, cared-for, mostly well-mannered kid to school. Thankyou to the parent who reads/responds to emails, is engaged and supportive of their child's schooling success, who helps out in classes and stresses the importance of education. You people rock.
As another teacher, I agree with all of the above. 

Yes, read to your kids every night starting about 5-6 months of age.  When they're old enough to read chapter books on their own, don't quit.  Instead, read books together and discuss them.  Make a point of setting aside screens of all types and spending time with the kids:  Reading, playing board games, going out to do things together, or just talking. 

One of the most important things you can do is eat dinner together every night.  It's a bonding thing and a learning opportunity for kids.  One of the saddest things I ever saw in my life:  My youngest had a friend over, and at dinner the girl brought a book to the table.  I thought it was odd but didn't say anything.  As usual, we talked, laughed, told stories about our day ... and sat at the table 30-45 minutes after the food was gone.  My daughters' friend said to me later, "I love eating with your family.  Y'all are so fun.  We all just sit and read our books or play video games." 

When your kid is old enough for a cell phone, don't allow unlimited access.  Insist that phones (including your own) are left on the kitchen counter after 9:00.  I hear my students talking about sleeping with their phones and waking up umpteen times a night to text friends.  Obviously this interferes with sleep.  Keep an eagle eye on kids and computers (and remember that cell phones ARE computers; it's not just safety -- once innocence is gone, you can't get it back.  My students today are eons "more worldly" than their counterparts in the past, and it's not a good thing.

Also be kind to the staff, especially the CNAs. We know you don't want to be here, but we really do try our best to make things better. Being downright cruel won't stop us from giving you the same level of care as any other resident, but it does mean that during the odd quiet moment we won't be stopping into your room to chat or do a quick favor. This goes for family members too - being irate or having unreasonable demands won't make your parent get better care, but it will make the report from RNs be much more colorful than usual.
Here's what my nurse daughter says:  Always be nice to the nurses.  Oh, they'll give you good treatment regardless, but if you're nice and pleasant ... they'll walk down the hall to get a hot washcloth with which to clean your wound, etc.  Yeah, the cold one will clean you just as well, but the warm one will make your experience more pleasant. 

I have never heard of the PSAT. I don't think it was offered? I just took the SAT twice, since I sat on the border of when they changed the test, and different schools wanted old vs new scores!
Another note from a teacher:  Pay attention to school announcements.  Read flyers and newsletters.  SOOOO many people don't, and then they aren't aware of this or that thing, or don't realize its importance. 

That is weird - my high school required us to take the PSAT twice - we had to take it Sophomore & Junior years.  We also were required to take both the SAT and ACT.
You took the PSAT (preparation for the SAT) as a sophomore and the pre-ACT as a junior.  Possibly the ASVAB at some point. 

Buy a water bottle.  Fill the bottle from your tap.  Use this as a convenience item to take hiking or on vacation or offer to guests.  You haven't listed a single valid reason to purchase bottled water.
I can think of several -- we go through about one case of bottled water every year:

My in-laws frequently make a four-hour drive to visit us.  When they leave, we like to have a drink to give them "for the road".  I don't want to give them my refillable bottles.  They don't bring bottles themselves.  I choose to be hospitable and give them a bottled water that they want for the road. 

When my kids were little and went on field trips with school they were required to bring along a bagged lunch, and the school always specified that everything had to be thrown away -- that is, no bringing lunchboxes home.  Our house rule was that we'd buy Lunchables ONLY for field trips.  Could we have been butts about it and sent lunchboxes?  Yeah, but the teachers had enough to do on field trips, and I don't want to make waves for something so easy /so infrequent.

Certain machines require bottled water -- irons, for example, and some machine that my brother uses.  Could you use tap water?  Yeah, but if you end up replacing the machine, it isn't a good deal, especially given that these things only require a few drops of water.

No, it's not.  It's not safer.  Bottled water is LESS SAFE.
Yeah, it's on the news every couple weeks.  Note, however, that this doesn't mean that bottled water is unsafe.  It's just NOT superior to plain old near-free tap water.

An artist friend pointed out that my acid-free archival etc. paints could stop having those qualities when mixed with tap water instead of distilled. So I bought a gallon of distilled, but I should figure out doing my own distillation. (Bonus: then I can make rose water for shortbread!)
I don't know anything about acid-free paint, but I do know you're supposed to use water without chlorine to keep shortbread "starter" alive.  However, this doesn't mean you need bottled water.  It means you need to allow the water to sit for 24 hours; just keep a container in your refrigerator, and the chlorine will evaporate.



GuitarStv

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I've kept sourdough starter alive for going on four years now with chlorinated water straight from the tap.

notquitefrugal

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Stop buying fucking bottled water.

Yes and no. I buy maybe one case per year. It's not for everyday use, it's a convenience item to take hiking or on vacation or offer to guests.

No.

Buy a water bottle.  Fill the bottle from your tap.  Use this as a convenience item to take hiking or on vacation or offer to guests.  You haven't listed a single valid reason to purchase bottled water.

Only on this forum would someone get crap over spending $5 per year on a case of bottled water. I have a reusable water bottle. Sometimes I want to take a larger quantity of water than 20 ounces when I'm hiking or on vacation. I also like to offer guests something they can take with them (and not have to return my $10 reusable water bottle).

Bajadoc

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Please learn to use I, me, and myself correctly. I know you think it makes you sound smarter to say "myself" all the time instead of "me" but you're probably using it incorrectly. Don't say "someone gave this gift to my wife and myself" or "to my wife and I."

Also, don't write "would of" instead of "would have." Drives me crazy.

Sorry for the rant but my mother taught grammar for 30+ years and these things bother me.


Thank you. I seen that problem too.

shelivesthedream

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This is a fascinating thread.

I've been trying to think more about my health lately, but it's a bit overwhelming. Based on my family history, I am going to die between 90 and 100 of heart disease and it seems like it's up to young me how physically comfortable those later years are. My grandmother has bad angina and struggles to walk further than just around her flat (although she lives alone in retirement housing and does all her own shopping, cooking and cleaning at age 90). My great-aunt, on the other hand, walked at least a mile every day until age 87 when she cut down to half a mile.

I'm starting from a low bar here (my diet is OK, good on scratch cooking but bad on crappy snacking, and I don't own a car but don't do much exercise either even to get from A to B as everything is so close) so... If you only had fifteen minutes a day to work on your long-term health (for the total activity, including prep and cleanup), what would you spend those fifteen minutes doing? Batch-cooking/prepping healthy snacks? Doing star jumps? Drinking water? I work from home so am pretty flexible, but I've decided to start with strictly fifteen minutes as I think that's some time I really can spare every day without getting sucked into the vicious excuse cycle.

ender

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who is drinking groundwater from a private well is exempted from my scorn.  Your water isn't being tested, and you have no idea if it's clean or not.  You can buy all the bottled water you want, just be aware it is only someone else's tap water, not miracle juice.

It seems reasonable for a doctor to prefer consistency of "tap water from a large plant put into bottles" over "tap water at every patients home."

It may be that no one inspects bottled water. But I also do not see anyone inspecting any local home source of water on a regular basis, either. Plenty of homes have old/decaying systems which can add contaminants into what would otherwise be clean tap water.

If I am a doctor, not knowing what the condition of the water may be at a patient's home - is it fresh clean tap water? what about a well which hasn't been tested in 50 years, if ever? What about through pipes which are 50 or 100 years old? How were problems repaired? How old is the city infrastructure servicing the home? How long does water sit in the pipes?

 It's important to realize where tap water testing occurs. Does it occur at the faucet of every single house connected to it? Recently where I live a school found out their water supply was contaminated when they tested water from several drinking fountains. The tap water source was not the problem. It was their distribution system inside the school.

It seems perfectly reasonable for doctors to prefer to go with the "known unknown" instead of a complete unknown entity, especially if there are potential complications associated with levels of <whatever>.

onlykelsey

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This is a fascinating thread.

I've been trying to think more about my health lately, but it's a bit overwhelming. Based on my family history, I am going to die between 90 and 100 of heart disease and it seems like it's up to young me how physically comfortable those later years are. My grandmother has bad angina and struggles to walk further than just around her flat (although she lives alone in retirement housing and does all her own shopping, cooking and cleaning at age 90). My great-aunt, on the other hand, walked at least a mile every day until age 87 when she cut down to half a mile.

I'm starting from a low bar here (my diet is OK, good on scratch cooking but bad on crappy snacking, and I don't own a car but don't do much exercise either even to get from A to B as everything is so close) so... If you only had fifteen minutes a day to work on your long-term health (for the total activity, including prep and cleanup), what would you spend those fifteen minutes doing? Batch-cooking/prepping healthy snacks? Doing star jumps? Drinking water? I work from home so am pretty flexible, but I've decided to start with strictly fifteen minutes as I think that's some time I really can spare every day without getting sucked into the vicious excuse cycle.

I think HIIT workouts would work well, especially since you're getting some low level cardio in your day walking around. There are easy no equipment variations like do 30 squats, rest for one minute, 30 push-ups, rest for one minute, 30 burpees, rest for one minute, 30 crunches, done. You could start at ten of each and leave five minutes for rinsing off, or work up to the 30.  I think if you don't have much time, you want to build muscle so your metabolism is higher for the rest of the day and really get yor heart rate up. I'd probably only do the work out twice the first week, though, and ease in.

KCM5

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who is drinking groundwater from a private well is exempted from my scorn.  Your water isn't being tested, and you have no idea if it's clean or not.  You can buy all the bottled water you want, just be aware it is only someone else's tap water, not miracle juice.

It seems reasonable for a doctor to prefer consistency of "tap water from a large plant put into bottles" over "tap water at every patients home."

It may be that no one inspects bottled water. But I also do not see anyone inspecting any local home source of water on a regular basis, either. Plenty of homes have old/decaying systems which can add contaminants into what would otherwise be clean tap water.

If I am a doctor, not knowing what the condition of the water may be at a patient's home - is it fresh clean tap water? what about a well which hasn't been tested in 50 years, if ever? What about through pipes which are 50 or 100 years old? How were problems repaired? How old is the city infrastructure servicing the home? How long does water sit in the pipes?

 It's important to realize where tap water testing occurs. Does it occur at the faucet of every single house connected to it? Recently where I live a school found out their water supply was contaminated when they tested water from several drinking fountains. The tap water source was not the problem. It was their distribution system inside the school.

It seems perfectly reasonable for doctors to prefer to go with the "known unknown" instead of a complete unknown entity, especially if there are potential complications associated with levels of <whatever>.

Agreed on the doctor/safety of water in homes visited by a home health nurse - the nurse isn't going to know if the client is on a well or city distribution system and a dirty facet/kitchen/sink can contaminate water.

However, here's the thing about the testing and tap water that people miss when they discuss this.

Most of the older cities in the US have lead piping either in the distribution system or in a significant number of homes. In order to prevent lead leaching into the water supply, they ensure that the water chemistry of the tap water is non-corrosive. So as long as the water hasn't been sitting in the pipes for months, the city is required to test and ensure that the tap water in a certain number of homes on the distribution system (# of locations depends on the size of the water system) has safe lead levels after the water has sat in the pipes for approximately 8 hours - this is usually done overnight at various homes.

So the school in the example, it was the tap water as well as the distribution system. Unless the distribution system or piping in the school had been disturbed recently (which is why flushing after work on pipes is important) the tap water should be non-corrosive enough to ensure that the lead doesn't leach.

In the case of Flint, there really was an audacious number of things that went wrong including the city employees flushing for five minutes before taking a lead sample, the state warning the city that their average is getting close to the maximum contaminant level and then not investigating the fact that every sample after  that was well below it. 

MandyM

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who is drinking groundwater from a private well is exempted from my scorn.  Your water isn't being tested, and you have no idea if it's clean or not.  You can buy all the bottled water you want, just be aware it is only someone else's tap water, not miracle juice.

It seems reasonable for a doctor to prefer consistency of "tap water from a large plant put into bottles" over "tap water at every patients home."

It may be that no one inspects bottled water. But I also do not see anyone inspecting any local home source of water on a regular basis, either. Plenty of homes have old/decaying systems which can add contaminants into what would otherwise be clean tap water.

If I am a doctor, not knowing what the condition of the water may be at a patient's home - is it fresh clean tap water? what about a well which hasn't been tested in 50 years, if ever? What about through pipes which are 50 or 100 years old? How were problems repaired? How old is the city infrastructure servicing the home? How long does water sit in the pipes?

 It's important to realize where tap water testing occurs. Does it occur at the faucet of every single house connected to it? Recently where I live a school found out their water supply was contaminated when they tested water from several drinking fountains. The tap water source was not the problem. It was their distribution system inside the school.

It seems perfectly reasonable for doctors to prefer to go with the "known unknown" instead of a complete unknown entity, especially if there are potential complications associated with levels of <whatever>.

I see your point on this. Although, I hate using the term "bottled water" as if all bottled water is equal. I suspect distilled water is what is supposed to be used.

MandyM

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So as long as the water hasn't been sitting in the pipes for months

Side note: This is a thing that is evaluated by water utilities - tanks and piping are arranged in a way to minimize the age of the water.

Also - think twice about protesting increases on your water and sewer rates. A huge amount of the infrastructure was constructed 30+ years ago (some is 100+ years old). Guess what the estimated lifespan of all that piping is?

merula

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Certain machines require bottled water -- irons, for example, and some machine that my brother uses.  Could you use tap water?  Yeah, but if you end up replacing the machine, it isn't a good deal, especially given that these things only require a few drops of water.

I've used tap water in my iron for 13 years. I've had to replace it once in that time, because I screwed up the electrical cord with the way I stored it, not anything to do with the reservior. I have never cleaned it, descaled it or had any mineral deposits show up on my clothes. (And I iron everything I wear for work, every day, so this is not a low-use situation.)

Bottled drinking water has the same mineral content as tap (assuming you don't have particularly hard water or well water or something), so putting bottled drinking water in an iron is going to be functionally the same.

My mom has always used distilled water for her iron, but that's a carryover from growing up with well water and actually spraying directly on the clothing. And she has been reusing the same gallon bottle for this purpose since my childhood.

Every grocery store I've ever seen has a place to fill up with filtered or distilled water, and you can typically either buy their containers or bring back one you've bought from them before. My local co-op goes one step further and allows you to fill any container with a measurable volume.


CabinetGuy

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Anyone who has taken a benzodiazepine within the last year is twice as likely to die as someone who has not.

Citation, please?

I take a quarter of a 5mg diazepam some nights (it makes my restless leg syndrome less aggravating for the SO.  Not much.  BUT, I almost stepped into a residential elevator shaft this morning.  No joke.  Thought is was the door to the downstairs garage.  Took a half a step before I realized there was no there there.  Would this hane happened if I didn't take some last night?  I don't know, but I also don't want to take the chance any more.

I'm done taking it.

KCM5

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So as long as the water hasn't been sitting in the pipes for months

Side note: This is a thing that is evaluated by water utilities - tanks and piping are arranged in a way to minimize the age of the water.


Yeah - I was talking about pipes in the home. Like if I go on vacation and haven't used water in my house for 2 weeks, I flush the water for 5 minutes before I drink it because I know we have lead solder on some/most of the water pipes in our 1920s home.

sol

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Like if I go on vacation and haven't used water in my house for 2 weeks, I flush the water for 5 minutes before I drink it because I know we have lead solder on some/most of the water pipes in our 1920s home.

Sometimes this makes the water worse, not better.  One of the most common reasons that facilities like schools and hospitals exceed their lead targets is that some local employee decides to flush the system because they're worried about the lead in old pipes. 

There's a reason we have sampling protocols for these things.

onlykelsey

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Like if I go on vacation and haven't used water in my house for 2 weeks, I flush the water for 5 minutes before I drink it because I know we have lead solder on some/most of the water pipes in our 1920s home.

Sometimes this makes the water worse, not better.  One of the most common reasons that facilities like schools and hospitals exceed their lead targets is that some local employee decides to flush the system because they're worried about the lead in old pipes. 

There's a reason we have sampling protocols for these things.

Wait, so running the water for a while raises the lead content?  That's fascinating.  I remember my mom saying we should let it run for a minute when we were using hot water from the spigot, but not cold, because it picks up lead more easily?  My mother was a special education teacher, though, so...

KCM5

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Like if I go on vacation and haven't used water in my house for 2 weeks, I flush the water for 5 minutes before I drink it because I know we have lead solder on some/most of the water pipes in our 1920s home.

Sometimes this makes the water worse, not better.  One of the most common reasons that facilities like schools and hospitals exceed their lead targets is that some local employee decides to flush the system because they're worried about the lead in old pipes. 

There's a reason we have sampling protocols for these things.

Huh- I hadn't really thought about that in the context of a house. 

This was my thought process in the matter - I want to be drinking water from the distribution system, not water that was sitting in the pipes of my home stationary for two weeks. So, if it were winter I would flush until the water is a cooler temperature.

I always thought the danger of flushing was knocking/disturbing sediments which would happen if you, for example, opened a hydrant and basically made the water move in a way it doesn't normally move. Opening a faucet in a house wouldn't do that, would it?

maco

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Certain machines require bottled water -- irons, for example, and some machine that my brother uses.  Could you use tap water?  Yeah, but if you end up replacing the machine, it isn't a good deal, especially given that these things only require a few drops of water.
That'd be distilled, not mere bottled. Bottled still has plenty of minerals. Distilled doesn't.

However, do what the manual for your iron says. Many explicitly say to NOT use distilled water. People who don't read their manual and use distilled because that's what they've always done have found their irons leak as the water superheats (lack of impurities impedes boiling).

My Black & Decker D2030 says to use regular tap water unless your water is extremely hard in which case, use tap water once, then switch to filtered or distilled, and be sure to switch back to tap at least monthly to keep the steamer function working properly.

An artist friend pointed out that my acid-free archival etc. paints could stop having those qualities when mixed with tap water instead of distilled. So I bought a gallon of distilled, but I should figure out doing my own distillation. (Bonus: then I can make rose water for shortbread!)
I don't know anything about acid-free paint, but I do know you're supposed to use water without chlorine to keep shortbread "starter" alive.  However, this doesn't mean you need bottled water.  It means you need to allow the water to sit for 24 hours; just keep a container in your refrigerator, and the chlorine will evaporate.
That advice is several decades outdated. It's chloramine now, not chlorine, and that doesn't evaporate out.

TVRodriguez

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Can you elaborate on why the online forms are bad for wills?  Was going to do one soon and was going to use online form.

I'm an accounting manager and i think any advice I could give this forum is what most folks are already doing.  :)

Each state has its own requirements for a valid will.  In Texas, if certain language is included in the will, then an executor can act independently without reporting to the court.  If that language is not included then additional hoops must be jumped through to achieve the same thing.  When I was in private practice, I earned way more money on cases where someone did their own will and then died, than I did drafting a will which was correct and handling the subsequent estate.

Use an estate planning attorney in your own state who knows the laws that will apply to your property.  Seems simple but I've seen Florida residents use "low cost" forms prepared by an Indiana accountant, which cost them thousands down the road.  As an estate planning and probate attorney, I've seen lots of form wills.  I've never seen one prepared correctly by anyone who is not an estate planning attorney.  Attorneys in other fields even make mistakes on these.  I handled a probate once that easily cost 10 times more than it would have if I had prepared the documents, and that was where an attorney did the estate plan "as a favor for a friend."  I make more money when the clients come to me dead with bad documents than I do when they come to me alive and take my advice.

MandyM

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That advice is several decades outdated. It's chloramine now, not chlorine, and that doesn't evaporate out.

Depends on the system. Plenty still use chlorine.

KCM5

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Like if I go on vacation and haven't used water in my house for 2 weeks, I flush the water for 5 minutes before I drink it because I know we have lead solder on some/most of the water pipes in our 1920s home.

Sometimes this makes the water worse, not better.  One of the most common reasons that facilities like schools and hospitals exceed their lead targets is that some local employee decides to flush the system because they're worried about the lead in old pipes. 

There's a reason we have sampling protocols for these things.

Wait, so running the water for a while raises the lead content?  That's fascinating.  I remember my mom saying we should let it run for a minute when we were using hot water from the spigot, but not cold, because it picks up lead more easily?  My mother was a special education teacher, though, so...

Your mom could have been right, depending on the water system. If a system is chlorinated, lead chloride is deposited on lead pipes/solder. But lead chloride is soluble in hot water. So hot water basically strips any protection that would have been provided.

That's one of the reasons you've also probably been told not to use hot water for drinking/cooking.

former player

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This is a fascinating thread.

I've been trying to think more about my health lately, but it's a bit overwhelming. Based on my family history, I am going to die between 90 and 100 of heart disease and it seems like it's up to young me how physically comfortable those later years are. My grandmother has bad angina and struggles to walk further than just around her flat (although she lives alone in retirement housing and does all her own shopping, cooking and cleaning at age 90). My great-aunt, on the other hand, walked at least a mile every day until age 87 when she cut down to half a mile.

I'm starting from a low bar here (my diet is OK, good on scratch cooking but bad on crappy snacking, and I don't own a car but don't do much exercise either even to get from A to B as everything is so close) so... If you only had fifteen minutes a day to work on your long-term health (for the total activity, including prep and cleanup), what would you spend those fifteen minutes doing? Batch-cooking/prepping healthy snacks? Doing star jumps? Drinking water? I work from home so am pretty flexible, but I've decided to start with strictly fifteen minutes as I think that's some time I really can spare every day without getting sucked into the vicious excuse cycle.

If you've got half an hour every other day you could try slow running- http://doctormama.blogspot.co.uk/2006/05/listen-up-maggots.html

Worked for me, although I only found that site after I had been doing it for a couple of years.  It was lovely to have the "slow" bit validated.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2016, 01:50:18 PM by former player »

robartsd

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I'm starting from a low bar here (my diet is OK, good on scratch cooking but bad on crappy snacking, and I don't own a car but don't do much exercise either even to get from A to B as everything is so close) so... If you only had fifteen minutes a day to work on your long-term health (for the total activity, including prep and cleanup), what would you spend those fifteen minutes doing? Batch-cooking/prepping healthy snacks? Doing star jumps? Drinking water? I work from home so am pretty flexible, but I've decided to start with strictly fifteen minutes as I think that's some time I really can spare every day without getting sucked into the vicious excuse cycle.
Due to the regular, if limited, exercise you get because you don't travel by car, I'd probably address the snacks as the first 15 minute habit to add to your life. Carry water with you always and you're likely to drink plenty without taking extra time in your day. As you become efficient at healthy snacking and form a solid habit, you'll probably be able to add a 15 minute exercise habit later (perhaps making one of your regular trips from A to B longer with an alternate route).

Axecleaver

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Great thread! I sent my daughter a list of life advice at her HS graduation party last summer. It's posted in my journal if you want to see all of it: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/cleaving-to-fi/msg982458/#msg982458

Some of my favorite one-liners:
Love what you do and you’ll never work a day in your life.
Never stop learning. Learn new things every day, every minute, until the moment you die.
You miss all the shots you don’t take.
Be kind and treat everyone respectfully.
It's never the right time to start a family.
A good relationship is built on the quality of the time you spend apart.
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Career
Always be looking for a better job. It never hurts to have a conversation.
Maintain your professional contacts, speak to everyone you know at least once or twice a year. Make a list and write down when you last talked to them.
Relationships change. One of your employees today could be your boss tomorrow.
First, verify the facts. Then, make a decision.
Argue your interest, not your position.

Spork

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 It's important to realize where tap water testing occurs. Does it occur at the faucet of every single house connected to it? Recently where I live a school found out their water supply was contaminated when they tested water from several drinking fountains. The tap water source was not the problem. It was their distribution system inside the school.


Ah... drinking fountains.  If you've ever taken one of those apart and seen the filter that was installed 30 years ago and never changed ... you'd stop drinking from them.  I would not be surprised if water from them was contaminated.  But I bet if they went around the corner into the bathroom and tested the tap where people wash their hands: it would be fine.

Travis

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 It's important to realize where tap water testing occurs. Does it occur at the faucet of every single house connected to it? Recently where I live a school found out their water supply was contaminated when they tested water from several drinking fountains. The tap water source was not the problem. It was their distribution system inside the school.


Ah... drinking fountains.  If you've ever taken one of those apart and seen the filter that was installed 30 years ago and never changed ... you'd stop drinking from them.  I would not be surprised if water from them was contaminated.  But I bet if they went around the corner into the bathroom and tested the tap where people wash their hands: it would be fine.

My coworkers give me funny looks when they see me fill up my water bottle from the bathroom tap.

onlykelsey

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 It's important to realize where tap water testing occurs. Does it occur at the faucet of every single house connected to it? Recently where I live a school found out their water supply was contaminated when they tested water from several drinking fountains. The tap water source was not the problem. It was their distribution system inside the school.


Ah... drinking fountains.  If you've ever taken one of those apart and seen the filter that was installed 30 years ago and never changed ... you'd stop drinking from them.  I would not be surprised if water from them was contaminated.  But I bet if they went around the corner into the bathroom and tested the tap where people wash their hands: it would be fine.

That was my experience living in Copenhagen, which is generally an exceedingly well run city.  I lived in a 1960s-built building that apparently had so much nickel in its pipes that my showering was giving me dermatitis/eczema EVERYWHERE (due to my nickel allergy).

PAstash

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Stop buying fucking bottled water.

Yes and no. I buy maybe one case per year. It's not for everyday use, it's a convenience item to take hiking or on vacation or offer to guests.

No.

Buy a water bottle.  Fill the bottle from your tap.  Use this as a convenience item to take hiking or on vacation or offer to guests.  You haven't listed a single valid reason to purchase bottled water.

Only on this forum would someone get crap over spending $5 per year on a case of bottled water. I have a reusable water bottle. Sometimes I want to take a larger quantity of water than 20 ounces when I'm hiking or on vacation. I also like to offer guests something they can take with them (and not have to return my $10 reusable water bottle).

i know right! don't want them to die from dehydration on the trip home.

GuitarStv

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Stop buying fucking bottled water.

Yes and no. I buy maybe one case per year. It's not for everyday use, it's a convenience item to take hiking or on vacation or offer to guests.

No.

Buy a water bottle.  Fill the bottle from your tap.  Use this as a convenience item to take hiking or on vacation or offer to guests.  You haven't listed a single valid reason to purchase bottled water.

Only on this forum would someone get crap over spending $5 per year on a case of bottled water. I have a reusable water bottle. Sometimes I want to take a larger quantity of water than 20 ounces when I'm hiking or on vacation. I also like to offer guests something they can take with them (and not have to return my $10 reusable water bottle).

i know right! don't want them to die from dehydration on the trip home.

You're not getting crap because of the expense of a case of bottled water.  You're getting crap because it's needless expense that pollutes the planet without any cause at all.

BTH7117

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Professional:
 - If you have a curbside mailbox, do not put your flag up when you have outgoing mail.  The mailman is coming to your box regardless.  All the flag does is alert potential thieves that something is in there.
 - Do not mail cash or gift cards.

Non-professional:
 - Be good to your pets.  You're literally their entire life.  Plus, it's remarkable how much a long walk with my dog improves my mood.
 - It amazes me how much that showing up to work on time, doing your job adequately, and having a good attitude impresses people.  Do it.  Don't complain.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2016, 07:56:49 AM by BTH7117 »

FrogStash

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This is a fascinating thread.

I've been trying to think more about my health lately, but it's a bit overwhelming. Based on my family history, I am going to die between 90 and 100 of heart disease and it seems like it's up to young me how physically comfortable those later years are. My grandmother has bad angina and struggles to walk further than just around her flat (although she lives alone in retirement housing and does all her own shopping, cooking and cleaning at age 90). My great-aunt, on the other hand, walked at least a mile every day until age 87 when she cut down to half a mile.

I'm starting from a low bar here (my diet is OK, good on scratch cooking but bad on crappy snacking, and I don't own a car but don't do much exercise either even to get from A to B as everything is so close) so... If you only had fifteen minutes a day to work on your long-term health (for the total activity, including prep and cleanup), what would you spend those fifteen minutes doing? Batch-cooking/prepping healthy snacks? Doing star jumps? Drinking water? I work from home so am pretty flexible, but I've decided to start with strictly fifteen minutes as I think that's some time I really can spare every day without getting sucked into the vicious excuse cycle.

With the given options, I suggest you alternate days between star jumps and prepping healthy snacks.  I also suggest giving in to the "exercise cycle" it is less vicious than you may think.  Also, anyone that can do 15 minutes of star jumps gets lots of respect from me.

I've had great luck with online exercise routines and 4 to 8 week plans from fitness blender.  Google it for more info.  I don't benefit in any way from their success.  I just like to share good stuff I find.

meerkat

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Non-professional:
-Put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting others. In other words, self care is important. You'll be a better spouse/parent/employee/etc. if you're not on the edge of burning out.
-Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. This one has been big for me with being a new parent but it applies elsewhere too - in my case since little babies change so much in the first year of life I wanted to make it a priority that the various grandparents are able to see him as much as possible, but once I was back at work having four consecutive weekends taken up by visits wasn't sustainable for me so I had to say no. Physically and mentally I could have done it, but I would have had no recharge time for myself. (Everyone means to be helpful when they come over which is nice, but it's a little different than being able to walk around my own home in my underwear or just have some quiet time 100% on my own.)

Professional:
-Read legal documents before you sign them. Take as much time as you need and don't let someone else make you feel awkward for taking the time to read something over. If you don't understand something, ask about it before you sign.

Kitsune

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- in my case since little babies change so much in the first year of life I wanted to make it a priority that the various grandparents are able to see him as much as possible, but once I was back at work having four consecutive weekends taken up by visits wasn't sustainable for me so I had to say no. Physically and mentally I could have done it, but I would have had no recharge time for myself. (Everyone means to be helpful when they come over which is nice, but it's a little different than being able to walk around my own home in my underwear or just have some quiet time 100% on my own.)

Advice from another parent that might work for you: I totally fell into the same trap, and what I found really helpful was to lay out needs.

Like, my mother didn't actually understand that if I kept my daughter home from daycare so she could see her for 2 hours on a friday while I worked from home, that mean that I had 2 hours of work and 6 hours of unexpected childcare, which meant at least 4-5 hours of work to catch up on on the weekend.

Saying "what you're asking for requires X, Y, and Z from me. Can you help with those, so that I can do the fun thing you're asking" usually goes over pretty well, and means that while I might carry a SLIGHT additional burden, it's not something that grinds me down. But before I started asking? They honestly just didn't see it. Not through maliciousness, but just from... ignorance, I guess.

In your case: they want to come over, you want them to come over, they mean to be helpful, and it just doesn't work so they don't come over as often. Can you say that you'd love to have them over, but you need X amount of time alone in the house to do things, so they're welcome if they bring dinner/take the kid to a park for an hour to two/go to the zoo/have grandparent time OUTSIDE THE HOUSE/whatever? Basically, something that allows you the self-care time you need?

TOTALLY not implying that this is something you need to do, but it's something I did that improved things significantly for my life, so... :)


 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!