In August, I got a barely-above minimum wage part-time job (starts after my full-time job each day) with the intent of stepping way outside my comfort zone. The idea is that I have to try new things, like all people, to find out if there is something of interest that I just haven’t been exposed to, and if not that, anything I can learn about something I’m not too keen on. So I got a PT job at a gym [gym: noun. A place, in general, which has me scared shitless to step foot in to as a comfortably sedentary person]. I am still working my way through the extreme discomfort, mostly mental at this point – it’ll be two months this week – and try to not regret making the decision to do this (because that’s just fear talking me out of doing something..again..). So I collect, wash, re-fold, and re-distribute the towels.
You’d think it’s no big deal. But it’s a huge deal to me and I am so proud every night when I come home that I made the effort through another day. I’m meeting and talking to new people (scary!), learning about my personal boundaries/limits and how to stick up for myself through a shaky voice (no, we cannot discuss our drug habits, or why you think there is too much culture (non-white people) in this country and why I need to defend my position of more diversity = better, etc..), getting exercise (instead of coming home from a cubicle job and sitting around until bedtime, I’m constantly standing/walking for 5 hours a shift). I’m growing muscles in places, physical and mental, that I didn’t know I had. I’m learning about health, about people, about bodies, about what’s acceptable in the workplace, etc. I am SO HAPPY that I introduced something new to my routine, something that makes me feel very nervous, which means there are just a whole bunch of unknown unknowns and fears that I need to overcome. Plus I get paid and a free gym membership (another hurdle I haven’t explored yet). :)