The Physical Therapy/Gentle Movement Accountability & Resources Thread

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

I'm not sure I'm getting great results from the PT? My iliotibial band still hurts and I still pee sometimes when I sneeze. Maybe it's less?

Maybe check in with your professional, if you haven't in a while? They should let you know if your healing times are expected to be long, or maybe take a different approach with the therapy if results are not as anticipated.

Exactly this. Have you communicated to them your lack of progress and your frustration? Do they seem like they have a good handle on how things are progressing? A good plan of attack if they aren't? Or is it just more of the same and watchful waiting?

If PT is going nowhere you have to do something about it. Either kick your PT in the ass to do something or find a new PT who will.

Thanks for the encouragement! I actually went back today. The therapist says that I still have a lot of tightness in my pelvic floor muscles and gave me new exercises toward that goal. I think I have 2 sessions left.

I'm not currently in therapy for my ITBS. Kaiser usually just gives you 1 consultation and sends you home with exercises, and that was like 9 months ago. When I have finished the pelvic floor PT, I will re-turn my attention to the ITBS. A lot of the exercises are really similar, interestingly enough. I will either press for a course of sessions from Kaiser, or possibly pay out of pocket to go back to the place that does the pelvic floor- Kaiser contracts with them for PT stuff but everything else is in-house.

But the ITBS is a twenty-year-old injury, so my expectations for resolution are fairly modest! If something has been hurting for my entire adult life, is it a realistic expectation that any amount of PT would make it totally go away?

[Metalcat]

I'm not sure I'm getting great results from the PT? My iliotibial band still hurts and I still pee sometimes when I sneeze. Maybe it's less?

Maybe check in with your professional, if you haven't in a while? They should let you know if your healing times are expected to be long, or maybe take a different approach with the therapy if results are not as anticipated.

Exactly this. Have you communicated to them your lack of progress and your frustration? Do they seem like they have a good handle on how things are progressing? A good plan of attack if they aren't? Or is it just more of the same and watchful waiting?

If PT is going nowhere you have to do something about it. Either kick your PT in the ass to do something or find a new PT who will.

Thanks for the encouragement! I actually went back today. The therapist says that I still have a lot of tightness in my pelvic floor muscles and gave me new exercises toward that goal. I think I have 2 sessions left.

I'm not currently in therapy for my ITBS. Kaiser usually just gives you 1 consultation and sends you home with exercises, and that was like 9 months ago. When I have finished the pelvic floor PT, I will re-turn my attention to the ITBS. A lot of the exercises are really similar, interestingly enough. I will either press for a course of sessions from Kaiser, or possibly pay out of pocket to go back to the place that does the pelvic floor- Kaiser contracts with them for PT stuff but everything else is in-house.

But the ITBS is a twenty-year-old injury, so my expectations for resolution are fairly modest! If something has been hurting for my entire adult life, is it a realistic expectation that any amount of PT would make it totally go away?

If you have persistent IT band issues, I would just pay out of pocket and get proper care for it.

[mspym]

Checking in - I did stretches and weights yesterday and all my (standing variant) physio exercises at the airport this morning while waiting for my friend to get through customs. I got used to doing them in public while waiting for buses so I’m comfortable popping out some sets in random spots.

[Frugal Lizard]

@mspym - great idea.  And no one should be able to tell I flexing individual pelvic floor muscles.  Apart from the deep concentration on my face.

[oneday]

Everyone is knocking it out of the park! I love to see the activity that happens between check ins.

I seem to be over my little mental hissy fit about doing PT. Slowly getting back in a routine. Today I was slightly stronger and clearly need to start using the next firmest resistance band. Yay strength! Flexibility and range of motion are coming along much more slowly.

[Dollar Slice]

Everyone is knocking it out of the park! I love to see the activity that happens between check ins.

Still keeping up my streak.

I'm thinking about temporarily substituting double walks for my usual one walk plus pedaling since my back is getting sore again. Walking seems to be better for my back (but pedaling is indoors/doesn't require me to get dressed/be presentable, so it's a lower barrier to exercise...).

[FrugalShrew]

Today I was slightly stronger and clearly need to start using the next firmest resistance band. Yay strength! Flexibility and range of motion are coming along much more slowly.

Awesome job on the strength improvement, @oneday! You will get there eventually with the flexibility and range of motion, too.

[oneday]

I'm not currently in therapy for my ITBS. Kaiser usually just gives you 1 consultation and sends you home with exercises, and that was like 9 months ago. When I have finished the pelvic floor PT, I will re-turn my attention to the ITBS. A lot of the exercises are really similar, interestingly enough. I will either press for a course of sessions from Kaiser, or possibly pay out of pocket to go back to the place that does the pelvic floor- Kaiser contracts with them for PT stuff but everything else is in-house.

But the ITBS is a twenty-year-old injury, so my expectations for resolution are fairly modest! If something has been hurting for my entire adult life, is it a realistic expectation that any amount of PT would make it totally go away?

My experience with Kaiser is that it was not too difficult to press for, and get, more PT. I have been through several courses for different issues, and the therapists tell me that as long as you visit (IRL or video) once every 6 weeks, your referral stays good. So once you get past the gatekeeping, it's pretty low effort to remain connected to those resources. Maybe explaining that this is an old injury that is starting to seriously affect your quality of life* would be enough to get through the gatekeeping?

Your last question would be something I'd direct at a therapist, paging @philli14 (in case there's a generic answer)

*or you are concerned that it will become more limiting in the future...or whatever is true

Today I was slightly stronger and clearly need to start using the next firmest resistance band. Yay strength! Flexibility and range of motion are coming along much more slowly.

Awesome job on the strength improvement, @oneday! You will get there eventually with the flexibility and range of motion, too.

Thanks for the props! I have found, in recent years, that doing the PT and building strength feel good! Intrinsic motivation, yay

What have you been up to @FrugalShrew ?


I see you checking in @dandarc ! Maybe you got past "maintain" and into "progress" this week. I have also heard that it's hard to build anything on just 2x weekly.


@Frugal Lizard Wonderful to hear about your improvements...and getting to a new stage in treatment (symmetry).


@Metalcat from your journal, your last few days have been more intense than your post here really gets into. Sending hugs and vibes for endurance until it calms down again (which is still not on easy mode).


@Dicey did you do the PT and how did it go?


@G-dog wow 5 days a week is amazing! 4 days a week is also over the threshold of "maintain/progress", so still going great guns.


@mspym stealth PT (or not-so-stealth), I love it!


@Dollar Slice what is your streak up to now? If pedaling is not good for your back, cutting back seems like a good call. I do so love a low-barrier activity, though.


Yesterday I had to work in the office, then had an evening activity. Both things are new, so I'm not going to be too hard on myself for not doing any PT. I'm paying for it now by how tight my body feels, so...consequences, I guess.

I've started giving myself foil stars for PT activities. Hopefully it will be a bit more motivation.

[Metalcat]

@Metalcat from your journal, your last few days have been more intense than your post here really gets into. Sending hugs and vibes for endurance until it calms down again (which is still not on easy mode).

Facts. But I figure anyone who wants to know the gory details of my current adventure will go check out my journal.

I am slowly recovering from my setback and was able to do a bit of my gentle PT today without feeling like I was making the whole situation worse. So that is a good sign.

[mspym]

Friday I did my PT while waiting for a tram. I overwalked that day so yesterday was taking it easy and just doing some gentle stretches.

UPDATE: Pre and post run PT exercises done

[Dollar Slice]

@Dollar Slice what is your streak up to now? If pedaling is not good for your back, cutting back seems like a good call. I do so love a low-barrier activity, though.

14 days, I think. I skipped my shoulder exercise one day, but I'm counting it since I did everything else and wanted to give it a rest since nothing I do seems to be helping. I've walked every day and I think pedaled every day but one. Distances vary depending on how I feel. I've had some extremely low energy days, those are the ones where I just walk to the store and back, and just pedal as long as I feel like playing a game on my phone (~5 miles).

My back only ended up feeling scary for that one day or day and a half, so I guess it was a false alarm. I'm going to keep a close eye on it though and maybe get in some extra walks if I can. Today I took a short walk to the farmer's market (half mile round trip) and I'm planning to go out tonight at a place that is a short walk from the subway, which isn't major exercise but perfect for keeping loose (four total walks to/from subway stops of about a quarter or third of a mile).

[deborah]

Today I went up in the weights I'm using for my exercises (mostly from the absolute minimum to the next one, so they're still very small)!

[MaybeBabyMustache]

Joining, but I can't get in to see a PT until the end of February. I've called around, & the labor shortage is real! I have an MRI in a week and a half, and hoping that will at least point me in the right direction until I can see the PT.

[Serendip]

Just finished some stretching/yoga (incorporating one lacrosse & one yamuna ball)

Such a nice thing to do after work (I have a physical job so sometimes it's easy to convince myself to not be physical afterwards but I appreciate the rest even more afterwards when I persevere)

Haven't missed a day yet this year, even if it's just a few minutes of breathwork or gentle stretching. Trying to keep it up and really solidify the habit.

[Dicey]

Struggling. The new regime is definitely what's causing the discomfort, which probably means it's working. I've been doing roughly every other day, hoping to ramp up to daily next week. I won't call it pain, because I've only taken a single Aleve this week, but damn, I feel like a creaky old lady.

[Dollar Slice]

I ended up breaking my streak yesterday. I went out with friends for a four-hour marathon string quartet concert in the afternoon and was really exhausted. Then badly tweaked the shoulder that is so hyper sensitive to being moved the wrong way.

There's a very good chance I did some of my PT yesterday morning and just forgot to check it off the list, I do that all the time.(I just realized that I did it this morning and didn't check it off!) But I don't remember so I'm not counting it. I did my walking and pedaling, at least. I'm really focusing hard on not having a major shoulder pain problem or back spasm this week because of my doctor's appointments, but this shoulder is impossible.

[Frugal Lizard]

Day 3 of dialed down, way down physio on recommendations from PT. I have the best physiotherapist.  She called me back Friday during her lunch break to review my situation.  I am to call her Monday and she will fit me in if I can't get pain back down.

I am coping better today after a good night's sleep.

[FrugalShrew]

Thanks for the props! I have found, in recent years, that doing the PT and building strength feel good! Intrinsic motivation, yay

What have you been up to @FrugalShrew ?

Not as much as I would like, but I am continuing to live by the mantra that something is better than nothing. January has been a bit of a nightmare (haha, that refrain is getting old, isn't it?), but I am trying to just tread water with PT. It's been hit or miss, but I usually manage to do at least a few minutes of something. I got in 15 pretty good minutes this morning, so I'm happy with that.

[G-dog]

Did all my PT this morning - including the floor exercises. I hate the floor exercises since I don’t have a good space in which to do them.  Did the ball exercises too. Twice within 7 days.  Thankfully I can see that I am still better than I was when I started PT.  Gym workouts are helping to motivate me to do the PT. Especially on the days I can’t use the gym.  I have a really good workout streak going, which is also motivating  (brains are weird).

[dandarc]

Did just the two times last week, then yoga on Sunday, which has enough overlap with the prescribed PT workout that I count it as such. Nothing since. I have been quite sick this week with a cough worse than when I had covid over the summer, but still need to make space for at least one more PT this week somehow.

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

@G-dog - lack of suitable floor space is a big obstacle for me as well! I'm always bumped into something!

[G-dog]

@G-dog - lack of suitable floor space is a big obstacle for me as well! I'm always bumped into something!

Yes - some exercises are with legs extended, some with knees bent (sometimes twisting from side to side), some laying on me side, some extending my arms above my head or to the side.  I could probably estimate the space needed by making a “snow angel”. (Dust bunny angel?).

[Frugal Lizard]

@G-dog - lack of suitable floor space is a big obstacle for me as well! I'm always bumped into something!

Yes - some exercises are with legs extended, some with knees bent (sometimes twisting from side to side), some laying on me side, some extending my arms above my head or to the side.  I could probably estimate the space needed by making a “snow angel”. (Dust bunny angel?).

teeheehee

[Frugal Lizard]

I have attempted physio exercises every day this past week, and I am noticing improvements.

[deborah]

My gym is impressed with my progress (I asked them if I should be going up as quickly as I am).

[Metalcat]

I am able to do my PT exercises diligently now twice a day and take longer walks with my crutches. By longer I mean I slowly limp up and down the hall a few times once a day. I have to put as much weight on the broken bone as possible, so I have to walk even if I pay for it.

Those are just the dinky PT exercises they gave me the day after surgery when I could barely move. The real PT starts on Thursday and I have a feeling I'm about to get my ass friggin' handed to me.

It's critical though because if I'm progressing well enough in 6 weeks, I get to sign up for surgery on the other leg. So the next several weeks are absolutely crucial.

The problem is that it's very easy to push too hard and get major week-long setbacks, and the tricky part is that it's impossible to tell which pain is the "this feels horrible but I need to push through it to make progress" pain vs the "this feels horrible and if I push through it I will backslide for a week" pain.

[oneday]

Been very sporadic in doing PT. However, I've noticed a few little changes, like some things hurt a bit less to do and others I'm able to perform more correctly.

[Prairie Gal]

I started physio today for my left knee. It's now about six hours later, and Ohemgee! They hurt like crazy. I can hardly wait to see how they are in the morning.

[Dollar Slice]

I started physio today for my left knee. It's now about six hours later, and Ohemgee! They hurt like crazy. I can hardly wait to see how they are in the morning.

Good luck! It's always hard starting out with a new exercise. It may help to ice them.

I've been taking some time off trying to do daily exercises while dealing with my mystery illness, but still doing my daily walks and trying to get some pedaling in. The PT didn't seem to be helping and some of it maybe was hurting, so I'm waiting for expertise and some more testing.

[Frugal Lizard]

I am back to doing all the exercises.  Pain flare up is in the past.

We took a mini break which involved a hotel with a giant tub and thermal spa pools.

Even the drive with overheated car seats was therapeutic.

The sun was glorious, and we sought out waterfalls.  I was able to walk muddy trails and up and down some stone "steps." Pushed up to my limits but not over. So good for me.

[FrugalShrew]

I am back to having PT appointments, and really hopeful I can finally get into a better groove. (If I say it enough times, it will come true, right?) I am already functioning at a much higher level than when I initially started PT, but I'm not where I would like to be (pain-free). 

[Metalcat]

I am back to having PT appointments, and really hopeful I can finally get into a better groove. (If I say it enough times, it will come true, right?) I am already functioning at a much higher level than when I initially started PT, but I'm not where I would like to be (pain-free).

What's stopping you?

[FrugalShrew]

I am back to having PT appointments, and really hopeful I can finally get into a better groove. (If I say it enough times, it will come true, right?) I am already functioning at a much higher level than when I initially started PT, but I'm not where I would like to be (pain-free).

What's stopping you?

Well, I guess the short answer is that I'm just struggling to find a good equilibrium within fluctuating energy limitations of chronic illness, and the aftermath of the traumatic death of my partner semi-recently. On the good days, I can make it through the workday and manage to take care of myself, too (sleep/exercise/food). But it doesn't take much to tip the balance, and then I enter a downward spiral. Trying to repair myself mentally and physically while also working full-time is maybe more than I can handle. And yet, my job is what gives me good insurance to pursue healthcare. In an ideal world, I would be able to go part-time and maintain my insurance and have more room to pursue healing. I haven't been able to figure out how to do that. I just keep making incremental progress, and hoping that soon I'll get to a point where things are stabilized enough that they snowball upwards instead of downwards.

[Prairie Gal]

I am back to having PT appointments, and really hopeful I can finally get into a better groove. (If I say it enough times, it will come true, right?) I am already functioning at a much higher level than when I initially started PT, but I'm not where I would like to be (pain-free).

What's stopping you?

Well, I guess the short answer is that I'm just struggling to find a good equilibrium within fluctuating energy limitations of chronic illness, and the aftermath of the traumatic death of my partner semi-recently. On the good days, I can make it through the workday and manage to take care of myself, too (sleep/exercise/food). But it doesn't take much to tip the balance, and then I enter a downward spiral. Trying to repair myself mentally and physically while also working full-time is maybe more than I can handle. And yet, my job is what gives me good insurance to pursue healthcare. In an ideal world, I would be able to go part-time and maintain my insurance and have more room to pursue healing. I haven't been able to figure out how to do that. I just keep making incremental progress, and hoping that soon I'll get to a point where things are stabilized enough that they snowball upwards instead of downwards.

Good for you for going back to your appointments and trying to get back into the groove. The early days of grief are really, really hard. Even when you think you are fine, you might not be. I thought I was fine, and then I ran a red light because I didn't even see it.

I did my gentle PT exercises today. And by gentle, I mean gentle. The hardest ones are the ones where I have to flex my knee. I moved the seat back on my exercise bike so that it didn't have to flex it so much. At least I did them.

Knees both hurt this morning, but not as much as I thought they were going to.

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

I think I only have 2 more PT appointments and I just haven't seen results. Maybe that means sneeze-peeing is just something I have to live with, but I will talk to the therapist tomorrow and see what she says.

It takes me about a half-hour now to do my PT and it's getting tedious. I don't enjoy working out at home by completing a list (as opposed to Jazzercise or yoga videos). But yesterday I had this brainstorm that I could take a walk in the park next to the rec center where my middle kid had basketball practice, and I finished my standing exercises there! It was a nice change of routine.

[Metalcat]

I am back to having PT appointments, and really hopeful I can finally get into a better groove. (If I say it enough times, it will come true, right?) I am already functioning at a much higher level than when I initially started PT, but I'm not where I would like to be (pain-free).

What's stopping you?

Well, I guess the short answer is that I'm just struggling to find a good equilibrium within fluctuating energy limitations of chronic illness, and the aftermath of the traumatic death of my partner semi-recently. On the good days, I can make it through the workday and manage to take care of myself, too (sleep/exercise/food). But it doesn't take much to tip the balance, and then I enter a downward spiral. Trying to repair myself mentally and physically while also working full-time is maybe more than I can handle. And yet, my job is what gives me good insurance to pursue healthcare. In an ideal world, I would be able to go part-time and maintain my insurance and have more room to pursue healing. I haven't been able to figure out how to do that. I just keep making incremental progress, and hoping that soon I'll get to a point where things are stabilized enough that they snowball upwards instead of downwards.

So it sounds like work is a huge barrier to optimal self care.

I completely understand that. I was there in 2019, work was just too much of a barrier to take proper care of myself. It was literally impossible. My PT kept saying I was always 1 step forward and 2-3 steps back.

In the end my work caused so much damage to my spine I had no choice but to leave.

It sounds like you may have to focus your efforts on some kind of solution to remove that barrier, if at all possible. Sometimes there just aren't enough resources for self-care and that's when you get into major trouble, as you know.

In some ways, I'm kind of grateful to my body for just forcing me to stop. It was hard to figure out how to manage it, but having no choice meant I couldn't just choose to keep getting worse anymore.

[FrugalShrew]

Thanks, @Prairie Gal and @Metalcat. This conversation is really stirring up a lot of feelings (unsurprisingly, I guess). As an overachiever, it is really frustrating to be hitting walls that I can't just, you know, climb right over!

Prairie Gal, I really appreciate your kind words. Especially since my grief is not really "early grief" in a socially acceptable way anymore, which means the limited support from the early days has dried up (although it was pretty lacking to begin with)--but it's complicated grief, so my life is still pretty shattered. I have made so much progress, and yet it's only a drop in the bucket in terms of how far there is still to go. Your story about running a red light was actually eerie, because I was having a difficult day yesterday with it being Valentine's Day, and ran a red light myself for the first time. I am really grateful no one got hurt, but it was scary.

Metalcat, thank you for sharing what you did. I've heard you talk about how your health issues forced you to stop working, but I didn't realize that working affected your health issues. As much as I don't wish health problems on anyone, it's nice not to be the only one facing these sorts of dilemmas.

As I've thought more about it, the other piece of my current difficulties (in answer to your question "what's stopping you?") is that as I started to feel slightly better, I way overdid it with social commitments--which were not that many compared with a healthy person, but that can no longer be my baseline. I had already realized it was a problem, and am trying to do a better job with that going forward. But yeah, if being more mindful of social commitments isn't enough (and depending on how much the universe decides to keep throwing at me), work may no longer be workable. I'd actually been planning to raise it with my rheumatologist at my next appointment, that I was having trouble making it through the workday, and see where that conversation goes.

[Metalcat]

Thanks, @Prairie Gal and @Metalcat. This conversation is really stirring up a lot of feelings (unsurprisingly, I guess). As an overachiever, it is really frustrating to be hitting walls that I can't just, you know, climb right over!

Prairie Gal, I really appreciate your kind words. Especially since my grief is not really "early grief" in a socially acceptable way anymore, which means the limited support from the early days has dried up (although it was pretty lacking to begin with)--but it's complicated grief, so my life is still pretty shattered. I have made so much progress, and yet it's only a drop in the bucket in terms of how far there is still to go. Your story about running a red light was actually eerie, because I was having a difficult day yesterday with it being Valentine's Day, and ran a red light myself for the first time. I am really grateful no one got hurt, but it was scary.

Metalcat, thank you for sharing what you did. I've heard you talk about how your health issues forced you to stop working, but I didn't realize that working affected your health issues. As much as I don't wish health problems on anyone, it's nice not to be the only one facing these sorts of dilemmas.

As I've thought more about it, the other piece of my current difficulties (in answer to your question "what's stopping you?") is that as I started to feel slightly better, I way overdid it with social commitments--which were not that many compared with a healthy person, but that can no longer be my baseline. I had already realized it was a problem, and am trying to do a better job with that going forward. But yeah, if being more mindful of social commitments isn't enough (and depending on how much the universe decides to keep throwing at me), work may no longer be workable. I'd actually been planning to raise it with my rheumatologist at my next appointment, that I was having trouble making it through the workday, and see where that conversation goes.

Yes, I have a genetic condition that makes me susceptible to injury, but my work 100% caused the injuries that forced me to give up my career.

It wasn't like I got sick and had to retire, the work was ripping my body to shreds.

Now, that said, I was born with a whole second, totally unrelated condition of hip dysplasia, that resulted in my losing my ability to walk after I retired, but that's because I took up walking for hours a day when I retired.

So work destroyed my spine and retirement destroyed my hips. Which is why I'm now lying here useless with a broken femur.

I hear you on support falling off. I've been laid up with this broken, rotated leg for over 5 weeks and that's about as long as people can grasp someone else going through a crisis.

No matter how many times I have told people that my recovery will be a YEAR, it hasn't stopped people from finding it odd that I'm still completely incapacitated.

A neighbour just saw me yesterday and said "oh wow, that is taking a long time to heal" and in my head I was like "yeah...I may have mentioned at least a dozen times that it will take A YEAR and that that's just for one set of surgeries."

People really can't grasp other people going through a crisis for more than a month or maybe a few months.

I can't tell you how many employers I've been extremely harsh to when their staff member lost a close loved one and they are critical that they're not just over it 6 weeks later.

The intense, acute phase of loss lasts, coincidentally, A YEAR! And that's just the "feels like dying inside" phase. The healing phase takes a few more years.

But people have pretty short compassion attention spans when it comes to others.

[Dollar Slice]

But people have pretty short compassion attention spans when it comes to others.

My favorite is my friend who is a doctor (!) who can't wrap his head around my permanent chronic pain issue that simply won't get better, like it can't get better and isn't going to ever, and every time I mention around him that I need to sit down because of X he'll be like "hasn't that gotten better yet?"

[Metalcat]

But people have pretty short compassion attention spans when it comes to others.

My favorite is my friend who is a doctor (!) who can't wrap his head around my permanent chronic pain issue that simply won't get better, like it can't get better and isn't going to ever, and every time I mention around him that I need to sit down because of X he'll be like "hasn't that gotten better yet?"

Yep. Most of my friends are medical professionals and none of them can wrap their minds around the fact that I have a permanent, 24/7 migraine. I've had it for 4 straight years as of this month.

No matter how many times I explain it, I still get comments like "oh, you've got another migraine?"

And I'm like "Nope, not another one. Same one that I've had since early 2019 that I haven't had even a fraction of a second of a break from. Same one migraine that torpedoed my entire career. Same one, still here, just assume that if I'm not dead, it's still going."

But nope, I can say that a million times and they'll still never assume that I have a migraine the next time they see me.

Nor can they ever wrap their minds around that the vast majority of the PT and massage I do is for managing said migraine. Again, I explain it to everyone, repeatedly, that it's from a serious neck/spine injury from my work and neck/spine injuries often have to be managed with posture PT. But no. They just can't possibly understand that. They always ask "So what's all the PT for again?"

Facepalm.

[Prairie Gal]

I hurt so much yesterday that I didn't do my PT exercises. I suppose that every other day is better than none. I did do them today.

I got a prescription for an obesity drug, so I am hoping that losing some weight will help my knees. I got it from Costco, and I am almost embarrassed to say this, but I had to use a cane this morning to hobble my way in there and pick it up. I also had my bad knee wrapped in a tensor bandage. The good news is that the vitamin aisle was right there so I picked up some things while I was there for a good price. I have to pay out of pocket for this prescription, so it better damn well work.

Tomorrow's adventure is to go to the lab to get blood work done. I have to fast, so I will be going early so I can have a coffee when I am done.

[Metalcat]

I hurt so much yesterday that I didn't do my PT exercises. I suppose that every other day is better than none. I did do them today.

I got a prescription for an obesity drug, so I am hoping that losing some weight will help my knees. I got it from Costco, and I am almost embarrassed to say this, but I had to use a cane this morning to hobble my way in there and pick it up. I also had my bad knee wrapped in a tensor bandage. The good news is that the vitamin aisle was right there so I picked up some things while I was there for a good price. I have to pay out of pocket for this prescription, so it better damn well work.

Tomorrow's adventure is to go to the lab to get blood work done. I have to fast, so I will be going early so I can have a coffee when I am done.

There's nothing embarrassing about using walking aides when you need them. Joints can be assholes. Sure, yours may be less reactive if you lose a ton of weight, but plenty of people with extra weight have joints that work perfectly fine.

You need a cane because your joints need support, period.

Don't be one of these people who drive me fucking batty who don't use the proper walking supports out of some misguided sense of pride or insecurity.

Also walking aides aren't about having greater comfort, they're about lessening damage. So if you have any hope of weight loss helping your joints, you don't want to full on mangle them in the meantime by not using the supports that they need.

Limping is also HORRIBLE for your stabilizer muscles. If you are even remotely limping, you need walking aides. That shit will fuck you up and make your spine into an asshole as well.

Also, make sure your cane is properly adjusted to your body. If it's even an inch off, it won't provide the right support.

As someone with a wall of walking aides that I show off to houseguests when they visit, I am telling you to embrace them as the wonderful things that they are.

My canes and walking crutches are the reason I only ended up in a wheelchair the month before surgery after waiting over a year for it. Had I neglected my need for walking aides and "toughed it out" limping just because I could, I would have ended up in a wheelchair much sooner.

So embrace the cane, otherwise you might end up in one of those Costco scooter carts even if you do lose the weight.

[Frugal Lizard]

Been able to slowly build back up physio exercises. 
Am almost able to do all the reps on the relaxation / connection ones. Have started doing all of the strengthening and endurance, but less reps, shorter holds, less sets.  Feels so good to be making progress again.

Pain is still there. It goes away periodically - with the heating pad, physio after it is done - pain actually increases during the exercises - left side activates when I do the exercise on the right side. It is so freaking weird.

[FrugalShrew]

Yes, I have a genetic condition that makes me susceptible to injury, but my work 100% caused the injuries that forced me to give up my career.

It wasn't like I got sick and had to retire, the work was ripping my body to shreds.

Now, that said, I was born with a whole second, totally unrelated condition of hip dysplasia, that resulted in my losing my ability to walk after I retired, but that's because I took up walking for hours a day when I retired.

So work destroyed my spine and retirement destroyed my hips. Which is why I'm now lying here useless with a broken femur.

Oh man, that's really rough. Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire. I would find that so frustrating, especially since walking is generally considered to be so great for a person's health. Walking for hours a day in retirement just sounds like the quintessential healthy lifestyle.

It is amazing all the things that can wrong with the human body, though, and conventional wisdom is not much help if a person has needs outside the mainstream.

It sounds like you didn't realize the work or the walking were detrimental?

How do you feel about the way all that has played out?

I hear you on support falling off. I've been laid up with this broken, rotated leg for over 5 weeks and that's about as long as people can grasp someone else going through a crisis.

No matter how many times I have told people that my recovery will be a YEAR, it hasn't stopped people from finding it odd that I'm still completely incapacitated.

A neighbour just saw me yesterday and said "oh wow, that is taking a long time to heal" and in my head I was like "yeah...I may have mentioned at least a dozen times that it will take A YEAR and that that's just for one set of surgeries."

I wonder where the inability to understand an extended crisis comes from, especially in a case where you have literally told someone the facts repeatedly. At some point, it almost feels like a problem of not listening and believing what they are being told.

But I have seen this repeatedly now, with myself but also family and friends, where people think you should just be able to go to the doctor and be fixed quickly. And if you're not, then you must be doing something wrong--ignoring the doctor, etc.

Conditions that are not well understood or that we don't have a cure for--it's like it just does not compute.

People really can't grasp other people going through a crisis for more than a month or maybe a few months.

I can't tell you how many employers I've been extremely harsh to when their staff member lost a close loved one and they are critical that they're not just over it 6 weeks later.

The intense, acute phase of loss lasts, coincidentally, A YEAR! And that's just the "feels like dying inside" phase. The healing phase takes a few more years.

But people have pretty short compassion attention spans when it comes to others.

I will admit that when I was an outsider to grief, I didn't really understand it either. A lot of that seems to come from cultural training--which just seems to want everybody to be okay very quickly.

I got pretty annoyed in the early days of grief when I would get judgment for my house being messy or not having weekend plans or bringing a boring lunch. It's like, getting out of bed is literally a herculean effort.

Although I have encountered sources in the grief literature that talk about recovery taking more than a year in some cases, I really like the way you put that timeline!

A lot of people's short compassion attention spans seems like failure to comprehend, although I guess some of it could be compassion fatigue. When people don't have great tools for sitting with difficult feelings or knowing how to help, it makes sense that they run out of steam pretty quickly.
 

[Metalcat]

Yes, I have a genetic condition that makes me susceptible to injury, but my work 100% caused the injuries that forced me to give up my career.

It wasn't like I got sick and had to retire, the work was ripping my body to shreds.

Now, that said, I was born with a whole second, totally unrelated condition of hip dysplasia, that resulted in my losing my ability to walk after I retired, but that's because I took up walking for hours a day when I retired.

So work destroyed my spine and retirement destroyed my hips. Which is why I'm now lying here useless with a broken femur.

Oh man, that's really rough. Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire. I would find that so frustrating, especially since walking is generally considered to be so great for a person's health. Walking for hours a day in retirement just sounds like the quintessential healthy lifestyle.

It is amazing all the things that can wrong with the human body, though, and conventional wisdom is not much help if a person has needs outside the mainstream.

It sounds like you didn't realize the work or the walking were detrimental?

How do you feel about the way all that has played out?

How do I feel about how it all played out?

Well I'm sitting here with a broken and rotated femur, I haven't been able to shower by myself for a month and a half and probably won't be able to for a long time. And I have no clue if/when I'll ever be able to walk properly ever again, and I'm waiting on doing this again to the other leg.

So yeah, I'm feeling pretty irritated about it all right now to be honest.

That's a today response though, other days I'm back to my normal, obnoxiously optimistic self.

And no, I had no idea just how vulnerable my body was to injury, I still don't actually. It's very hard to tell what will injure me and what won't. I've spent my whole life doing physical things and often being fine and then randomly destroying soft tissues out of seemingly nowhere.

So for example, I am generally fine doing certain types of home renos, but I once lost the ability to raise my arm for 3 months and permanently damaged my rotator cuff by playing Wii tennis the first day we got it.

It's kind of like Russian roulette with body parts.

I hear you on support falling off. I've been laid up with this broken, rotated leg for over 5 weeks and that's about as long as people can grasp someone else going through a crisis.

No matter how many times I have told people that my recovery will be a YEAR, it hasn't stopped people from finding it odd that I'm still completely incapacitated.

A neighbour just saw me yesterday and said "oh wow, that is taking a long time to heal" and in my head I was like "yeah...I may have mentioned at least a dozen times that it will take A YEAR and that that's just for one set of surgeries."

I wonder where the inability to understand an extended crisis comes from, especially in a case where you have literally told someone the facts repeatedly. At some point, it almost feels like a problem of not listening and believing what they are being told.

But I have seen this repeatedly now, with myself but also family and friends, where people think you should just be able to go to the doctor and be fixed quickly. And if you're not, then you must be doing something wrong--ignoring the doctor, etc.

Conditions that are not well understood or that we don't have a cure for--it's like it just does not compute.

It's actually very simple. Recognizing your ongoing illness is both uncomfortable and takes effort. People naturally avoid being uncomfortable and putting in effort unless it benefits them in some way.

Simply put, they want you to be better so if you aren't better, it's more comfortable to find a way to blame you rather than accept and internalize a very uncomfortable truth that isn't punching them in the face every time they see you.

Having gone from an invisible disability to a highly visible one, I can tell you that it's a night and day difference. Not that one is better than the other, people with invisible disabilities underestimate the privilege of being able to "pass" as able-bodied, they tend to only focus on how that's a disadvantage.

Suffice to say, I have a lot of thoughts having experienced both for extended periods of time.

People really can't grasp other people going through a crisis for more than a month or maybe a few months.

I can't tell you how many employers I've been extremely harsh to when their staff member lost a close loved one and they are critical that they're not just over it 6 weeks later.

The intense, acute phase of loss lasts, coincidentally, A YEAR! And that's just the "feels like dying inside" phase. The healing phase takes a few more years.

But people have pretty short compassion attention spans when it comes to others.

I will admit that when I was an outsider to grief, I didn't really understand it either. A lot of that seems to come from cultural training--which just seems to want everybody to be okay very quickly.

I got pretty annoyed in the early days of grief when I would get judgment for my house being messy or not having weekend plans or bringing a boring lunch. It's like, getting out of bed is literally a herculean effort.

Although I have encountered sources in the grief literature that talk about recovery taking more than a year in some cases, I really like the way you put that timeline!

A lot of people's short compassion attention spans seems like failure to comprehend, although I guess some of it could be compassion fatigue. When people don't have great tools for sitting with difficult feelings or knowing how to help, it makes sense that they run out of steam pretty quickly.

Again it comes back to the discomfort and effort. We live in a horridly toxic positivity society where all bad feelings are to be avoided at all costs.

Also, you have to remember that people just don't think about you that much. So when you draw their attention to your problem after they've forgotten to even think about it for ages, it feels, emotionally like an imposition on them.

"Oh, fuck, this again? I hadn't thought about that in ages, why does she need to prattle on about this crap again? Didn't I already do the requisite 2-6 weeks of thinking about her problem? ...yep, yep I did."

But seriously, that's essentially what it's like. You are imposing your uncomfortable "problems" on them over and over and over again, and why can't you just get on with getting over it already?

Obviously no one consciously thinks that, but that's how it manifests for them in terms of feelings that they then have to rationalize. So if the feeling is impatience with you and they don't have a rational explanation for it, they have to come up with one to make sense of the feeling. That's where the belief that you *must* be somehow neglecting your own care comes from.

It's not even that they genuinely believe that there must be some kind of solution. But they have to attach some kind of rationalization to the frustration they feel towards you, so some kind of victim blaming must make sense.

Remember, people are NOT rational creatures, we are rationalizing creatures.

You will never understand an irrational behaviour by trying to figure out the rational reason behind it. The truth is always much simpler and much more silly.

 

[Frugal Lizard]

I finally got to meet with my PT.

She completely changed up my home program again. All new stuff to learn how to do, apparently I am ready for it.

I have had a really rough five weeks. Very few moments without pain. The stuff that used to work to reduce the pain doesn't. It is a new type of pain. And my pain threshold is lower and lower.

This new pain is NOTHING like what I have gotten through before. But I am out of capacity.

I am not sure if I am just in a slump because I am still aching and it has been a whole year since this thing happened. Or maybe this is what happens during trauma therapy to process. Or maybe this is the last big pothole before I get to the top of recovery peak.

I don't know. Doctor has resent the referral to the specialist pain clinic. The specialist accepted the first referral September 22 and I heard nothing about an actual appointment. I have just been doing all the stuff they are going to suggest - physiotherapy, therapy, pain management workbook, physiatrist doc, At least the doctor's appointments are covered by OHIP.

[oneday]

@Frugal Lizard sorry to hear you are experiencing the pain in a new and more awful way. I hope the changes made by your PT provide improvement quickly.


Not sure if I mentioned in this thread, but the PT declined to schedule another appointment after the last one, saying there wasn't much more he could do, and the personal training I've signed up for would be good for my injury. I was skeptical and fearful of not having that support, but so far things have been turning out as the PT predicted. So a lot of my problem is inflammation, but the root cause is lack of muscle, and probably some poor form during the injury. The training is helping get at the root cause, which I very much appreciate. The increase in strength is helping expand my range of motion, which in turn is motivating to do the PT-assigned stretches, which should also help with the range of motion. At this point, IDK if I still have inflammation, but the range of motion is the biggest symptom, which I would like to eliminate/return to a normal range.

Once again, a scary change in my life leads down the exact path I need to follow.

[Metalcat]

@Frugal Lizard sorry to hear you are experiencing the pain in a new and more awful way. I hope the changes made by your PT provide improvement quickly.


Not sure if I mentioned in this thread, but the PT declined to schedule another appointment after the last one, saying there wasn't much more he could do, and the personal training I've signed up for would be good for my injury. I was skeptical and fearful of not having that support, but so far things have been turning out as the PT predicted. So a lot of my problem is inflammation, but the root cause is lack of muscle, and probably some poor form during the injury. The training is helping get at the root cause, which I very much appreciate. The increase in strength is helping expand my range of motion, which in turn is motivating to do the PT-assigned stretches, which should also help with the range of motion. At this point, IDK if I still have inflammation, but the range of motion is the biggest symptom, which I would like to eliminate/return to a normal range.

Once again, a scary change in my life leads down the exact path I need to follow.

This is so weird to me.

I've never had a PT who didn't assign strengthening exercises, similar to how a trainer would.

The more I read this thread, the more I'm starting to think that US physical therapy *is* actually somehow different from Canadian physiotherapy.

[Frugal Lizard]

A week into the new program,  I am now doing all the exercises. Still at the first level of reps but doing the holds.

Overall pain is so much better.  Back to moments without pain.

I must take care to respect the baseline.

[oneday]

@Frugal Lizard sorry to hear you are experiencing the pain in a new and more awful way. I hope the changes made by your PT provide improvement quickly.


Not sure if I mentioned in this thread, but the PT declined to schedule another appointment after the last one, saying there wasn't much more he could do, and the personal training I've signed up for would be good for my injury. I was skeptical and fearful of not having that support, but so far things have been turning out as the PT predicted. So a lot of my problem is inflammation, but the root cause is lack of muscle, and probably some poor form during the injury. The training is helping get at the root cause, which I very much appreciate. The increase in strength is helping expand my range of motion, which in turn is motivating to do the PT-assigned stretches, which should also help with the range of motion. At this point, IDK if I still have inflammation, but the range of motion is the biggest symptom, which I would like to eliminate/return to a normal range.

Once again, a scary change in my life leads down the exact path I need to follow.

This is so weird to me.

I've never had a PT who didn't assign strengthening exercises, similar to how a trainer would.

The more I read this thread, the more I'm starting to think that US physical therapy *is* actually somehow different from Canadian physiotherapy.

I do have PT 2 strengthening exercises, one of which the trainer included in that program. The other was something that even the database of exercises available to the PT did not include, he said he made it up or something...probaby got it from another source rather than the insurance-provided database.

In contrast, I have 6 PT stretches.

Prior rounds of PT for other issues have included a higher ratio of strengthening exercises.

I would be really curious to experience Canandian PT, or see what movements were prescribed for the same issues.