Yeah I had sympathy to @EscapeVelocity2020 position.. I certainly don't want to come across as some awful misogynist but my DW is in a similar position.. i.e Money is just not her thing*.
I have a "book of secrets (BOS)" where all the money strategy is written down (but no user names or passwords).
We then also have a password vault that provides access to each of our accounts. DW then has to remember just one password. We also have a close friend (younger than us) who is a PhD economist and does all her family finance and is also FIRED.
The plan is if I croak, DW takes the BOS and the password to said friend and it will be a 5 minute job to see what is drawn from where and why.
*When I say "Not her thing".. I mean its REALLY not her thing! She has no idea of our NW and only a faint idea of what institutions its invested with. If you were to ask her the difference between a Roth vs traditional IRA she wouldn't have the first clue even though I have tried to explain several times. This is not a complaint on my part, although I would dearly love her to be involved she just isn't interested and I have just have to accept thats the way it is.
IMHO there is a big difference though between having a spouse who is not interested in investments and deciding to protect assets FROM THEM by putting them into a trust. Which is what Escape was suggesting he thought he might need to do. My spouse is not into investment strategy or any kind of long term planning. I do all of that. And it would no doubt be difficult if I died before him and he had to deal with those sorts of things. But that doesn't make him incapable. It doesn't mean I need to shield assets from him. He might make a few mistakes along the way, but I trust that he'll find his way and reach out to professionals if he needs help. If he were to decide that he wants to put it all into a managed account so he doesn't have to do anything but have an annual review then he can pay for that. I'm not going to make that choice for him.
I have a similar 'Book of Secrets' (a spreadsheet of secrets) that I have walked through with DW. Many times. Each time, her eyes glaze over even though I'm only a quarter of the way done... I suppose, at some point, I should make a narrative that is explicit and ensure that someone will be able to take over the reins. We have a few quirks like foreign currency exposure, foreign earned income tax exclusion carry-over, credits from paying international taxes and getting stock in lieu of dividends, and investment loss carryover, which I guess would be understood by the right accountant looking at prior year tax returns. That was the relationship that I need to establish here in the not too distant future.
The idea of an ICE binder isn't a bad one, except there are a lot of moving parts coming up in 2021 which makes this complicated. DS will turn 18, DD turns 16 and we'll eventually buy another car... College will start so the 529 will come in to play... I guess I just worry that I spend a bunch of time making this binder and it is all out dated in 2 years. Kinda' like the will (and living wills) we wrote and revise every few years. It's depressing enough the first time... I never thought having money and being able to retire early would be so depressing, but folks are talking about how short life is and how many people died right after retiring (or during their OMY)... too much talk about longevity (and lack thereof) instead of how great it is to have options and amazing experiences... so I also tend to tune some of the ER stuff out. I really don't care to do any side hustles, unless they are engaging and fulfilling. I feel like I get a lot of that with my current job - getting to see billion dollar projects come together and being on the 'fun side' of the velvet rope.
It was an interesting perspective when you explicitly said 'protect assets from them' Bean, but it is more nuanced than that. I want the assets to always be there for my spouse and, optimistically, there to be a reasonable amount left for the next generation of EV's to come... I fully trust my spouse with the assets, I just think it is not her interest and the wrong accountant and financial advisor (even if a fiduciary) could steer things in a very frustrating direction, since DW would not want to provide input other than to be very conservative and use vehicles she fully trusts like bank accounts and stable value funds. DW would not feel comfortable with a +/- $100k change (yes, even the positive change would stress her out, since that is a year of work changing on paper in a day, so how is that possible).
It's not that I don't share these things with her, but I think it is abstract and she trusts the process for now, but when it is her, I fear she will see it more as gambling and want to take the chips off the table... I really don't know, but it will stress her out, she just likes to know she has $X to spend each week (with $X being a comfortable amount with some typically left over for those budget breaking times like back to school, Christmas, etc.)...
I've probably said too much again, but this is therapeutic for me. She is a genius in other areas though, just as uninterested as she is in finance, I am uninterested in the things she gets incredible accolades for - teaching(!), orchids, healthy and creative meals, DIY around the house, homemaking (which we share 50/50, I don't mind laundry, washing dishes, home maintenance - but she takes things to a higher level than I do), etc.... I do my best to support, but she is tireless when it comes to her passions and pursuits and gets appreciation for how great she does at these and many other things.
It'll be interesting to see how we do in retirement together. We have talked about our dreams a bunch on our walks together, but I bet putting things in to practice will be a lot different than just talking... But I hope to live a long time so that we can enjoy figuring that out. It would be great to keep putting the serious death stuff off indefinitely, but in this year of Covid, I have to be realistic and think more pragmatically. And hence my initial post and these rambling thoughts of me processing what I should do sooner rather than leave until it's too late and find myself with a mess that I was too lazy to put right when I had the time.
Topic: Race from $2M to $4M...and Beyond! (Read 1446863 times)