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General Discussion => Throw Down the Gauntlet => Topic started by: Tasse on October 21, 2019, 09:07:56 PM

Title: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on October 21, 2019, 09:07:56 PM
I have the app RescueTime installed on my laptop, desktop, and phone. I want to do a weekly (probably Sunday) audit of my internet usage, with a goal and strategy for the coming week. It's okay if my goal is to stay the course, but I don't expect that to happen for a while. Eventually I want to look back at how I spent my time and not feel ashamed!

That said, bring on the shame.

Last week (10/13-10/19) I logged 72 screen hours. That's 43% of the whole week, and 64% of reasonable waking hours! Granted, apparently I left the desktop open to Spotify all night once, and some double counting is possible (like right now, since my phone is open to the calculator while I type this post).

Major consideration:
Python programming is a good and productive use of my time, to be clear. And not all screen time has to be productive! But I do want it to be intentionally chosen.

Goal: Whittle down the MMM forum time - let's say to under 5 hours. This is my favorite way to procrastinate.

Strategy: The forum, the news, and facebook are all blocked on my laptop (including in incognito mode!) as of Sunday, forcing me to do such browsing only at home on the desktop.

Next week I'll check in on what kind of difference that made. Feel free to join me with your own logs, facepunch/pointedly remind me that I should be mindful how I use my limited time alive, or just leave me to fill up the thread by myself. I hope to hold this goal more prominently in my mind in the next few months.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on October 22, 2019, 11:16:33 AM
This gauntlet is right where I'm at these days. I need to cut down on screen time.

I've tried the apps that restrict use, where you can block out various websites or limit time spent on them. I might try that again, but for now I've downloaded RescueTime and will take an audit of where I'm at first. Not crazy about setting up restrictions like that. I'd rather try and focus on the things I want to be doing instead IRL and without a screen.

I just finished reading an excellent book on this - Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I highly recommend it. He's a computer science prof and has a lot of insight into how addictive apps and websites are designed - there is an attention economy worth $billions that is very difficult to defend against without setting up intentions on how to productively use it. He suggests doing a 30 day detox, eliminating all unnecessary web and app use, and then bringing back in what you miss at the end of the 30 days, in a thoughtful, intentional, and controlled way. Since most of these websites and apps (social media especially) are addictive, and are designed to be addictive, it makes it difficult/impossible to honestly assess what's necessary and what's not without going through this detox period.

So I am in! I spend approximately 2-3 hours on weekends online wasting time, sucked into internet rabbit holes, and maybe 1 hour a day during the week. But that is my self assessment without the data to back it up so I may even be delusional on that.

Thanks for starting the gauntlet!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: RWD on October 22, 2019, 11:39:57 AM
I am too afraid to actually log this... But I did calculate that I have spent an average of 6 hours 48 minutes per week on the MMM forums since I joined five years ago.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Boofinator on October 22, 2019, 12:10:30 PM
I need to get in on this. I spend way too much time on the internet, and in particular on this site. According to the forum stats page, I've averaged an hour and 2 minutes perusing the forum every day since I first logged on just over a year ago.

The big problem with this behavior is that it is taking away from the actual work I should be accomplishing. The internet is my procrastination drug, and frankly I need to detox.

(Since I can't install an app on my work computer, I'm not sure I have a way to reasonably track this time, other than to avoid the website, cold turkey style.)
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: ketchup on October 22, 2019, 03:56:05 PM
Quote from: RWD on October 22, 2019, 11:39:57 AM
I am too afraid to actually log this... But I did calculate that I have spent an average of 6 hours 48 minutes per week on the MMM forums since I joined five years ago.
That's... almost exactly what mine works out to be.

My actual full screen time would probably be way too high.  My phone says I spent a whopping seven hours in the Firefox app, and it can be safely assumed that about 70% of that is just farting around.  I also spend 8 hours a day in front of a computer at work, and often watch an hour or so of streaming TV at night.  Weekends are luckily lighter on screen time but still probably too much.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on October 22, 2019, 07:56:09 PM
Quote from: Mmm_Donuts on October 22, 2019, 11:16:33 AM
I just finished reading an excellent book on this - Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I highly recommend it. He's a computer science prof and has a lot of insight into how addictive apps and websites are designed - there is an attention economy worth $billions that is very difficult to defend against without setting up intentions on how to productively use it. He suggests doing a 30 day detox, eliminating all unnecessary web and app use, and then bringing back in what you miss at the end of the 30 days, in a thoughtful, intentional, and controlled way. Since most of these websites and apps (social media especially) are addictive, and are designed to be addictive, it makes it difficult/impossible to honestly assess what's necessary and what's not without going through this detox period.

I have read this book more than once, and I quit screen time through the month of September! I started the thread as my check on the reintroduction period; I find cold-turkey to be relatively easy but moderation to be difficult. So my goal here is to find a middle ground I'm happy with. I missed the forum in September, but that doesn't mean I should have unrestricted access to it.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on October 23, 2019, 05:08:51 AM
Hey that's great! I am finding the cold turkey 30 day period really hard (obviously, since I'm here!) Any tips on how to do it?

For me the issue is that it's hard to determine what's necessary and what's not, and from there it's a slippery slope. I guess I could categorize anything I do at home on my phone / laptop as unnecessary and internet / app use at work necessary, but sometimes I do have to check work email at home, and then I think - well I should check on my library book due dates or my banking, as those are necessary. But are they? And then I go back to usual habits and just try to minimize them. So, no cold turkey yet.

Maybe I should read the book again too!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: lizzzi on October 23, 2019, 05:23:09 AM
I just very mindfully try to do real-world things and stay off the Internet. It's impossible to go cold turkey, and I don't really want to anyway. For instance, my guitar lessons are on line, and of course so is Vanguard and my bank account. And emails...and the newspaper...and shopping...and Word for my writing projects...and I've re-activated my blog. One thing that keeps me off-line is my dog--when he sees me at the computer, he thinks I am not doing anything, and so must be entertained by playing with dog toys with him or taking him outside. So I recommend a pet for helping to keep you in the real world.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on October 23, 2019, 10:35:04 PM
Quote from: Mmm_Donuts on October 23, 2019, 05:08:51 AM
Hey that's great! I am finding the cold turkey 30 day period really hard (obviously, since I'm here!) Any tips on how to do it?

For me the issue is that it's hard to determine what's necessary and what's not, and from there it's a slippery slope. I guess I could categorize anything I do at home on my phone / laptop as unnecessary and internet / app use at work necessary, but sometimes I do have to check work email at home, and then I think - well I should check on my library book due dates or my banking, as those are necessary. But are they? And then I go back to usual habits and just try to minimize them. So, no cold turkey yet.

Maybe I should read the book again too!

I mean, when I say "easy," I do have pretty aggressive blocking in place. It helps that I generally leave my laptop at work and use the desktop at home. I blocked social media everywhere, and news and budget stuff on my laptop, but allowed them on my desktop. I set up the desktop not to let me in until noon, so I couldn't use it before work and had weekend mornings free. I blocked the internet browser on my phone. (I also took a majority of apps off my phone. It's capable of: calling, texting, clock, calculator, calendar, maps, music/podcasts, and certain bank apps. And RescueTime. Nothing else.)

I tried to not use something by default and only allow it if it was time-sensitive, relationship-impacting, or work-related. Thus, I allowed email, texting, and Skype. It never occurred to me to block the library website. I do very little online shopping. Offline computer use (like Word) was allowed.

Anyway, keeping track of data is my attempt to be mindful now that I'm back at the internet part-time.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on October 26, 2019, 08:56:19 AM
@Tass Thanks for the details! This is super helpful. Can I ask, what program you used to block your computer till noon and block social media apps? Did you use the paid version of Freedom (which is I think what Newport recommends in the book?) or something else?

I'm now reading Deep Work, Cal Newport's earlier book. If you haven't read it it's really good reading as well! I almost wish I had read it first - it provides a lot of background on the WHY behind digital minimalism. Really fleshing it out. I.e. in Digital Minimalism he talks about quality leisure time, but Deep Work is about how to focus and get the most out of your work life. And why social media and email and other tech are so distracting and provide so little overall value. He describes different ways to get into a deeper state of flow - the Monastic style where you hide yourself away for long periods of time on one extreme down to the Journalistic style where you take short dips into deep work whenever you have time. Worth the read!

If I don't report back to this thread for 30 days, you will know why :) Good luck with your own mission to minimize your screen time!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on October 27, 2019, 03:46:46 PM
I block social media on my laptop with StayFocusd. On my phone I'm using AppBlock, because it won't let me uninstall the built-in internet browser - but I have uninstalled or disabled all social media apps. On the desktop, it's just parental controls. Technically it's my boyfriend's desktop, so only my account is disabled before noon.

I actually read Deep Work first, and then waited impatiently when I heard he was coming out with Digital Minimalism. I really like the way he thinks, but struggle to put it into practice!

Last week (10/20-10/26) I logged 64 screen hours.

Major consideration:
Video games   15 hours   I left the video game open and running while I took my car to the shop yesterday, so this is inflated by several hours - but not baseless.
Various texting apps   8.5 hours
Phone browser   7 hours   I had some trouble with AppBlock this week.
MMM forum   3.5 hoursSuccess!
Facebook   2.5 hours
News   2.5 hours
Guilty pleasure advice column   2.5 hoursThis is most of what I was doing on my phone, too.

Goal: Get off the phone. This week's total phone time was 22 hours. This will mean cutting that phone browser back out and calming down on the texting!

Strategy: Reenable AppBlock. Try leaving the phone in Do Not Disturb mode by default at work, and check texts on my own time rather than reacting as they arrive. Look into whether Do Not Disturb can be activated based on location or wi-fi connection.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on October 30, 2019, 01:37:59 PM
Ok, I'm in!
I lasted about a month and a half with my detox (which was glorious- I've never slept better in my life)... and then my computer crashed and I've been using my husband's laptop, which doesn't have controls. And I've been telling myself, "I'll just look around my forums for 15 minutes..." and it always turns into such a time suck.

I was thinking to check in here when the desire to scroll hits in order to redirect myself to the task at hand. So for today, the toddler is napping and while I'd love to be reading Case Studies and discussions on the Taxes forum- if I do that, it would mean I don't get my hour of side hustle done (the money of which goes to building up our Emergency Fund) and I don't exercise. And those two things are important to me. More important than Case Studies.

I guess the detox was helpful for seeing that it's about what spending so much time online replaces, rather than being online itself. I love what I do online. It's all interesting... it just sucks the life out of other more important goals.

Is it ok to not necessarily log my online time, but just to check in whenever I want to be online when there's more important things to do? I think the check-in will also be to remind myself that I can read Case Studies and Tax forum discussions on Sunday for a few hours in the evening. And I can do so every Sunday for the rest of my life. I think time scarcity plays into the pull the internet has and I want to combat that belief.  So maybe I can funnel it all into the slot where it belongs by checking in here. We shall see. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on October 30, 2019, 01:54:44 PM
Use the thread however you like, @Luz.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on October 30, 2019, 03:59:45 PM
Every good gauntlet thread needs an experienced overachiever to egg on the rest of us...
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on October 30, 2019, 08:11:57 PM
Scrolling/surfing sounds nice tonight, but instead I'm going to: make up a menu for the week, finish a book that's due at the library Friday, do the dishes, and research a few resource recommendations for a family member.

I'm channeling all my scrolling desire toward Sunday evening, when I can scroll to my heart's content. Until then, there are important things to attend to.

Your stats are looking good, @Tass!

Onward and Upward!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: talltexan on October 31, 2019, 06:37:07 AM
Quote from: Mmm_Donuts on October 22, 2019, 11:16:33 AM
This gauntlet is right where I'm at these days. I need to cut down on screen time.

I've tried the apps that restrict use, where you can block out various websites or limit time spent on them. I might try that again, but for now I've downloaded RescueTime and will take an audit of where I'm at first. Not crazy about setting up restrictions like that. I'd rather try and focus on the things I want to be doing instead IRL and without a screen.

I just finished reading an excellent book on this - Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I highly recommend it. He's a computer science prof and has a lot of insight into how addictive apps and websites are designed - there is an attention economy worth $billions that is very difficult to defend against without setting up intentions on how to productively use it. He suggests doing a 30 day detox, eliminating all unnecessary web and app use, and then bringing back in what you miss at the end of the 30 days, in a thoughtful, intentional, and controlled way. Since most of these websites and apps (social media especially) are addictive, and are designed to be addictive, it makes it difficult/impossible to honestly assess what's necessary and what's not without going through this detox period.

So I am in! I spend approximately 2-3 hours on weekends online wasting time, sucked into internet rabbit holes, and maybe 1 hour a day during the week. But that is my self assessment without the data to back it up so I may even be delusional on that.

Thanks for starting the gauntlet!

I first became aware of Cal Newport when I was in graduate school, stumbling towards the finish line despite my addiction to useless information.

In between then and now, he seems to have written at least two books. To my zero.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Boofinator on October 31, 2019, 07:07:38 AM
Quote from: spartana on October 30, 2019, 04:17:23 PM
I think it's hard to pull the cord on screen time. The only way I've been even moderately successful is getting rid of access to it except in limited doses.

I've found this to be the case for many of my worst vices. If I simply get rid of the opportunity to access them quickly and easily, the desire is barely there and the urge vanishes after a moderate amount of time.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on October 31, 2019, 07:26:25 AM
Right now I'd love to pause my day in order to do some surfing to gather information on an idea I have. It feels pressing and I'm sure I could talk myself into it being the exception to my rule. But it's not.

Instead, I'm going to bundle up the toddler to roam around outside for a bit before we start our day (which includes some last-minute pumpkin carving later this afternoon).

And I will have plenty of time Sunday evening to gather that pressing information.

Happy Halloween, everyone!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: talltexan on October 31, 2019, 09:28:19 AM
Hopefully you have enough extra time to bake the seeds out of that pumpkin. My family did that, and they are oh-so-good.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on October 31, 2019, 11:06:46 AM
Quote from: Boofinator on October 31, 2019, 07:07:38 AM
Quote from: spartana on October 30, 2019, 04:17:23 PM
I think it's hard to pull the cord on screen time. The only way I've been even moderately successful is getting rid of access to it except in limited doses.

I've found this to be the case for many of my worst vices. If I simply get rid of the opportunity to access them quickly and easily, the desire is barely there and the urge vanishes after a moderate amount of time.

I have also found this - in a similar way to how I find it much easier to resist buying junk food than to resist it once it is in my house. It's better to remove the temptation.

The problem - which will probably be visible in my stats on Monday - is that if there's a chink in the blocking armor, I'm ravenously interested in exploiting it. I've been having trouble getting my blocker to work how I want across devices this week, and, well, just look how often I'm posting here. I haven't actually built up any "resist temptation" mental muscles. Or maybe I just haven't gotten enough into the low-exposure routine for the desire to die off.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on October 31, 2019, 12:53:08 PM
Toddler is napping.
Time for my side hustle.
I have the urge to check my hometown's newspaper online to see the obituaries, courts, weddings and births (of course, just for 15 minutes). BUT... I will be sure to enjoy that on Sunday evening.
For now, it's time to build up the emergency fund and get loosened up with my exercise routine.
(Now that I'm in my mid-30's, exercise is all about keeping those joints from locking up).
Later tonight: pumpkin carving and pumpkin seed baking. (thanks, @talltexan!)

Let the screen-lite holidays begin!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on October 31, 2019, 01:55:22 PM
Finished my side hustle and now it's time to exercise. I think the transition from one thing to another is the most challenging, and where I tell myself that I'll just take a 15 minute break. Like what I want to do now. That's a good realization.

But, once I get started with exercise, it'll be fantastic. It's one of the small pockets of my day where I have time with my own thoughts.

I don't mean to be taking over the thread. It's just that if an urge is there, I'll be here. So far it's been really helpful. I think my quality of life will increase tremendously if I'm able to direct my urges to surf towards their proper place (read: not interfering with other things in my life).  It's kind've like having my cake and eating it too. That's my goal

Ok, time to get my body moving
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on October 31, 2019, 02:29:45 PM
Luz, I often use the online journaling site 750words for exactly the purpose you discuss. I get my thoughts out - sometimes just recording the urge to check a site - and then I move on without getting distracted by anything else. 750words is now a paid site (I was grandfathered in with lifelong free access, hooray!), but I bet there are other similar options, if you're interested.

I don't mean to imply that you can't post here! I think your strategy is good. But if you're self-conscious about it or want a less tempting outlet, you could look into it. Then you have a record to look back on when you want to record progress, also.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on October 31, 2019, 03:07:47 PM
@Tass- thanks for the info. Is there a community feature to 750words? I'm finding that doing this with others makes a difference! And having it be a challenge thread makes it that much more exciting.

I'll look into it for sure and will continue to post here in the meantime. It helps the embarrassment factor that I'm anonymous. Even then though, I don't feel ashamed posting.... I feel kind've badass. So many people struggle with device compulsivity these days.... and I'm facing it head-on.

So I did cardio and stretching. Had a thought after to just skip strength and take a "15 minute break". Continued with strength instead, knowing that I'm committed to posting here with each and every urge and would have to own up to the fact that I skipped strength and surfed instead.

This two day stretch of not clicking around the internet whenever the urge strikes has been SO PRODUCTIVE.

Let's do this.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 01, 2019, 10:15:41 AM
The toddler is playing in her crib and it's time to pay a few bills before I hit the shower.  My first thought was to take the opportunity for a  "15 minute break" to research ideas, but I'm sticking to the task at hand.

I was thinking yesterday about my goal and strategy. I've actually come a long way. I used my phone a lot while the toddler was a breastfeeding baby. It was so easy to scroll because I was just sitting there. By the time she turned 6 months, I became convinced that I didn't want to be on my phone or computer while she was awake. But I was still online up to 6 hours a day during her solo playtime, naps, and after she went to bed. It wasn't always 6 hours, but sometimes it was.

Since reading Digital Minimalism, I've gotten it down to 4 hours a day. I slept SO well during my detox, that now I stick with turning off the computer an hour before bed. It made that much of a difference. And I can reliably use at least 1-2 hours of the toddler's play & nap times for productive things. I think I average about 2 hours a day of surfing (in the evening or here and there during kid-free times).

My goal is to do 2 hours per week of surfing. And to do it without controls. Controls have been helpful, but they aren't totally reliable and I feel like I'm back to where I started when they falter. I chose 2 hours/week because that gives sufficient room to the other things in my life. More than 2 hours and I'll be eating into time for things that are more important.

My strategy is to check in here every time I have an urge to surf outside of Sunday evening. I figure it can give me a little space between the urge and the behavior, so it's an actual choice. I think also stating what I'm giving up to engage in surfing will make it more real.

Surfing is always about gathering ideas or to see what the internet has to say about an idea that I'm chewing on. Chasing ideas or gathering new ones always seems pressing because I feel like I need to act on my inspiration before it disappears. But I think I can experiment and see what happens to my inspiration when I have a weekly outlet for surfing. I had ideas and inspiration before the internet, so there's that.

Today is day #3 of checking in with urges and redirecting my focus to the task at hand.
On to bill pay and jumping in the shower...
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: RWD on November 01, 2019, 02:25:26 PM
(https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/screen_time_2x.png) (https://xkcd.com/2223/)
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on November 01, 2019, 08:39:55 PM
You beat me to posting the comic - but only because I actually stayed off the forum at work today!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 02, 2019, 07:44:02 AM
This morning I had the thought to "quickly check" some details online about an idea I'm developing. But that was my cue, so here I am. Instead of surfing, I'm taking the toddler for a walk so she doesn't wake the downstairs neighbors with her romping around at 6:30am on a Saturday morning.

There will be time to check the details Sunday evening! Good point about focusing on non-screen time. The agenda for today is a kid's concert at the orchestra this morning, a hike this afternoon, and later on - date night.  I want to get in some thrifting tomorrow, too. There's no time for going down the rabbit hole today! It's been really nice to invest in my life off-line. And I'm guessing that it will feel great to surf Sunday evening.

Happy weekend!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 02, 2019, 01:58:11 PM
Toddler is napping. I'm about 3/4 of the way through my side hustle. I feel sleepy. The thought popped into my head to take "a few minutes" to check my hometown's news again (what's with that?) and also to see how much cello lessons cost, because the concert this morning was fantastic.

I'll add those things to the Sunday evening agenda. For now: finish my side hustle for the day and get in my exercise, because I've got a full off-line afternoon and evening.

I've already noticed a huge difference these last four days. It'll be interesting to see what life is like with surfing just 2 hours per week.

Little by little. One impulse at a time!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 03, 2019, 08:24:45 AM
Day #5!

This evening I'm going to an event, so I won't be taking my 2 hours to surf like I planned. So I guess instead of saying that Sunday evenings are my surf times, it might be better to just say two hours in the evening every week, whatever day that might be.

I'm excited that I'm choosing the event over surfing tonight. That goes to show that the things that I want to look up are not that pressing in the moment after all. They can wait a week... or even longer.

But I did have the thought this morning, that since I'm not surfing this evening I can surf this afternoon here and there. But I'm keeping it to the evening because I have other things to get done during the day. So maybe tomorrow will be my surf day.

I was also thinking about my goals this year. The things that I don't want surfing to crowd out. I want to remind myself what I'm working toward in addition to my regular responsibilities when I feel compelled to surf. Those things are: build a community in my new-ish city, add 1,000 new words to my Spanish vocabulary, and make non-surfing entertainment (books, newspapers, magazines, TV shows, podcasts, etc) my automatic go-to when I need "a 15 minute break".

Now, back to the task at hand.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on November 03, 2019, 09:56:23 AM
I am not proud of last week. I had no luck with setting up Do Not Disturb automatically.

Last week (10/20-10/26) I logged 63 screen hours, 16 of which were on my phone..

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   9 hours
Guilty pleasure advice column   8 hours   Now blocked
MMM forum   6 hoursCrept back up...
Video games   5 hours   
Facebook   4 hours
News   4 hours
Phone browser   2.5 hours   Better, but I want this >1 hour.
Youtube   1 hour

Goal: No advice column... It's not doing anything for me.

Strategy: I got into the advice column because it was something to occupy my time that WASN'T blocked. It's blocked now, but hypothetically digging up new, as-yet-unblocked distractions could continue indefinitely. So strategy also needs to including getting comfortable with not having an on-demand internet distraction.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 04, 2019, 12:30:30 PM
Toddler is sleeping.
Today it's clear that more than having a desire to surf, I just don't feel like exercising or working- and surfing is the easiest way to avoid them. I just want to put my feet up.
But tonight is surf night! So I'll put my feet up then.
For now: side hustle time and then a shortened version of exercise, because we've got an errand to do.
If I get my stuff done now, I can enjoy surfing tonight without any to-do's hanging over my head.
It will feel amazing.

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 04, 2019, 01:28:48 PM
Ugh, I am dragging. I'm tired.
I got my side hustle done. It would be nice to surf instead of exercise.
But surfing is not going to make me feel rested.
What I really need is to just go to bed early tonight.
So win-win: get my shit done, and also relax this evening/get extra sleep tonight.

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on November 04, 2019, 07:18:40 PM
Quote from: Luz on November 04, 2019, 01:28:48 PM
But surfing is not going to make me feel rested.

Honestly, mixed feelings on this. I have had days where I was mentally worn out that zoning out on the internet for 30 minutes was a bit refreshing. But there are definitely times that it's more draining than anything.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 05, 2019, 09:25:24 AM
One week into the challenge!

Last night was my surf evening. I surfed for 3.5 hours instead of the planned 2 hours.
3.5 hours/week is about a 10 hour improvement from before the challenge, so overall I'm pleased. I got all my regular responsibilities done for the week (which was a nice change from feeling constantly behind, which goes to show how distracted I've been). I also engaged in WAY more off-line activities than usual. It was nice to be out and about instead of staying home most evenings and weekends. 

It's interesting to read back over my check-ins and see what patterns emerged. The main thing I noticed was what I tell myself when I want to surf. The intention is always that it's "just a 15 minute break". But once I'm on, those 15 minutes keep extending. That's what happened last night. The two hours were up and I thought, "ok, just 30 minutes more". But those 30 minutes turned into 1.5 hours.

The thing is, I don't really need a break during the day. I feel like I have pretty good balance of work and play throughout the day and week. I think the real issue is that I want to play before I work- and that never ends up being satisfying. First things first (work before play) is a principle that improves the quality of my life. So hopefully check-ins will help support that.  Overall, surfing is more of an avoidance than true relaxation (it's like a way to turn off rather than fill up) ... unless it's in its proper place.

It's also way easier to stay away from surfing (by redirecting each impulse) rather than pull myself away once I'm doing it. I'll continue using check-ins this week to redirect the impulse to surf. And maybe try a strategy at my next surf session, to help re-enter the real world when it's time.

The next thing: hop in the shower and get the day going.
Tonight: read my library book and work on getting a greater variety of foods into my meal planning.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 05, 2019, 11:45:58 AM
Toddler is napping and I have an idea I want to pursue.
I'm doing my side hustle and exercise instead, and will add the idea to the agenda for when it's the appropriate time.
I'm eating my desert when I sit down to do my daily side hustle session now. I'm trying to associate work with chocolate and peanut butter. And exercise with time to think.


Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 06, 2019, 12:25:16 PM
Like clockwork, I'm feeling the pull to surf now that the toddler is napping.

The pull doesn't seem as strong as in the beginning, though. I'm finding that I feel less behind on my to-do's when I'm not distracted by surfing... and therefore have less of a need to surf to avoid the to-do's that are piling up. I know that getting my side hustle and exercise done is not really that big of deal- and that both are important for living the life I want to have.

It's also right after lunch, and having a full belly probably doesn't help my motivation. Maybe I need to look into how other people re-energize in light of the afternoon slump.

I know that when it comes to compulsive behaviors, every time I choose not to engage, the cycle weakens. And when I engage, the well-worn ruts get deeper.  It never worked to intend not to surf. In the moment, I could always find some compelling reason to do it. Maybe for this reason, it's been so helpful to address the behavior on a moment-by-moment basis. To give a pause between the desire and the behavior. And also to think critically about the ways I justify it. After 1 week, I'm able to identify my justification of "just 15 minutes". It's like, "oh, I'm telling myself that again". And that's so exciting.

Also, Sunday evening is just a few days away. I can have my cake and eat it too. How cool is that?
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 06, 2019, 06:12:15 PM
I feel like frittering away the evening online now that the toddler is in bed.

Instead I'm going to:
-do a quick tidy of the house, so I don't wake up to a mess
-exercise (I had extra paperwork to do during nap time)
-run a few errands
-chat with my husband
-read a few chapters of a library book that's due Friday

The frittering will feel great Sunday evening. Now, not so much.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: GuitarStv on November 06, 2019, 06:56:45 PM
How has nobody mentioned porn time yet in a thread about internet usage?
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 07, 2019, 09:40:34 AM
I went to check a message on Facebook from a friend about our Sunday afternoon plans.
Saw something on my feed that looked interesting. I try to hide everything from my feed, but when I follow a new page or friend someone new, I need to manually go in and make the change... which I haven't done for a few weeks.
I was just about to click it to check it out, but caught myself since that would technically be surfing and not using the internet solely for task-based things apart from Sunday evenings.
So here's my check in.
I'm continuing on with my off-screen life until Sunday evening when I can click that link. I will probably have lost interest by that time.

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 07, 2019, 12:06:08 PM
An idea just came to me that I really want to pursue (and almost automatically just started clicking around). I want to hold on to the inspiration and detail it out before it's gone (via seeing what the internet has to say about it).
I don't think it's going anywhere though. It's really not that urgent. I jotted down a few notes and will sure to add it to my Sunday evening surf agenda.
The task at hand: finish up my side hustle. Then do my exercise. Today is arm day
Sunday is just around the corner and in the meantime, I'm kicking butt IRL.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 08, 2019, 12:07:11 PM
Afternoon slump time. Apparently, I consistently feel sluggish after lunch. And surfing the net is the perfect non-effortful activity to pair with that state. The only thing is that my afternoon is kind've shot when I respond by surfing. Because then I get behind on my side hustle and have to catch up in the evening with that and exercise (if they happen at all). And in order to catch up with those, I ignore other important things.  Or I think, "well I blew it and surfed today, so I might as well continue on and indulge myself." Probably the best thing to combat the sluggishness is exercise. I have to motivate myself to start, but once I'm going, I'm good.

I feel like a broken record on this thread, but here's the thing: it's been TEN consecutive days of not surfing whenever the impulse strikes. And it's made all the difference: on my productivity, my social life, my ability to be present, etc. This is probably the first time in 5-6 years that I feel like I'm in control of the internet and not that it's controlling me. And I think I underestimated the effect it had on my day-to-day life.

Posting at every urge may be cumbersome (for everyone- sorry guys) but the whole point is to string together those days of abstinence. I'm also hoping that eventually the urges will be every few days and then once a week and so on.

Side hustle time and then right into squats. Sunday is just around the corner...
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on November 10, 2019, 02:40:45 PM
Quote from: GuitarStv on November 06, 2019, 06:56:45 PM
How has nobody mentioned porn time yet in a thread about internet usage?

Feel free to own up. :P

This week I missed some data because RescueTime updated, so this is not a complete picture. I'll share my partial report anyway:

Last week (11/3-11/9) I logged 60 screen hours, 14 of which were on my phone..

Major consideration:
Video games   15 hours   
Various texting apps   7 hours   Blocked text notifications while at work
Python programming   5 hours   
News   2.5 hours
MMM forum   2 hours
Facebook   2 hours
YNAB   1 hour   
Youtube   1 hour
Guilty pleasure advice column   ~1 hour?   This was not recorded, but I know I snuck a bit in there.

It's hard to draw conclusions from incomplete data.

Goal: No screens after 8:30 P.M. (9:30 on weekends.) I struggle so much to step away from the screen for bedtime.

Strategy: I am setting an 8:30 alarm. Boyfriend is in on this with me.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 11, 2019, 09:39:35 AM
Saturday, I had no urges to surf. I had a few thoughts, like "I could surf right now" but I didn't feel compelled to do so- just kind've "meh" about it. Not needing to talk myself out of it. So that's exciting.

Sunday was my surf day. I spent 4 hours surfing... about 15 minutes on Facebook and the rest on MMM, even though the goal is a total of 2 hours. On a positive note, I spent that long online because I was interested and engaged and inspired, not because I wanted to put off doing something. I got all my shit done before sitting down to surf and there was nothing hanging over my head.
On the downside, I'd prefer not to spend that much time online. I think 2 hours is a great balance. I can show up for all my real life stuff and have a few hours every week to be inspired or just dink around online. I can have both things.
But if I spend more time online, something in my real life has to give.
It's probably helpful to reinforce the fact that I can surf every Sunday for the rest of my life. Otherwise I tend to think that my internet time is scarce and I get kind've clingy.

So my goal is to surf for 2 hours this week. I'm going to check in with each urge on this board as my strategy... including when my designated surf time is up but I want to keep going. We'll see if that's helpful. I think I'll see it as a success that I check in, whether my time extends beyond 2 hours or not. As long as I'm breaking that automaticity.

Also, I'd like to spend time analyzing things when an urge hits. But I think check-ins would be more helpful if I just state where I'm at and reinforce where I want to be. Keep it short and sweet. And then save the reflection for once a week- maybe after my 2 hours surfing is up, I can summarize my thoughts on how things went the prior week. That might help me more easily step away when it's time.  And will likely keep the moment-to-moment check ins from being something that takes a chunk of time.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 12, 2019, 11:27:00 AM
I'd love to have a pint of ice cream, scroll around on celebrity sites, then take a nap.
Instead, I'm going to do my side hustle and exercise.
Maybe tonight I'll walk to the drugstore to get a People magazine then go to bed early.
Sunday I don't exercise or do my side hustle during the toddler's nap time. I usually do errands. Maybe I should do something more indulgent like take a nap or meet up with a friend or read a magazine. All the things I want to do during the week when it's time to work and sweat.
It's been 13 days of staying off the internet when it's not time to surf. Yeehaw!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 14, 2019, 12:49:15 PM
Day 15.
Wanting to surf my hometown's newspaper because I'm feeling nostalgic.
I'm also in the first trimester of pregnancy and am trying to be easy on myself by taking a nap after my side hustle (then exercising in the evening).
I'm tempted to just surf instead of nap, so I'm checking in here.
Surfing can wait till Sunday.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 15, 2019, 12:15:22 PM
I recently rejoined a few facebook forums after a break and am feeling a bit distracted when I log in to facebook to do task-based things.  I hid them from my feed, so that should help. But I think it'll be good to see how things go the next week or so in order to figure out how to use facebook for both surfing and tasks.
For now: on to my side hustle and either exercise or (non-surfing) rest.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on November 17, 2019, 03:44:57 PM
I found myself uninterested in catching up on most forum threads this week, which was a new development. I was making fun progress on a video game, though, so maybe that's why.

Last week (11/10-11/16) I logged 55 screen hours, 13 of which were on my phone..

Major consideration:
Video games   17 hours   
Various texting apps   5.5 hours   
MS Word   5 hours   
News   4 hours
YNAB   2 hours   
Facebook   1 hour
Youtube   1 hour
MMM forum   1 hour   

Thoughts:
Goal: No screens after 8:30 P.M.; 9:30 on weekends. It's the same as last week, but I don't trust it to be a good habit yet.

Strategy: I am setting a 9:30 alarm for weekends!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 17, 2019, 09:02:40 PM
@Tass - I wonder what being uninterested means in this process? I felt it a bit too this week and took it as a sign of progress... but I also felt a bit restless about it. Like, there was a huge dip in the pull to surf- but also to do anything else. So I've had to sit with myself much more than usual where before there was always something filling the time. Could be less dependence on surfing. Could be pregnancy hormones. Or maybe a bit of both. I think I'll ride it out, continue to refrain from surfing when it's not the time to do so, and trust that some sort of inspiration will fill the void in time.

I surfed for 2 hours this evening, catching up on a blog before coming here to check in for the week. I got sidetracked for 15 minutes reading new replies to threads I'm following on MMM. But now I'm here and I'm signing off. I'll check in this week with urges and also after my 2 hours of surfing time on the weekend.

It's been 2.5 weeks into the challenge and this is the most forward movement I've seen in years. I'm excited to see where this leads!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 18, 2019, 10:14:24 AM
Went to write a Facebook message to a friend and got distracted with scrolling friend suggestions. Facebook has been the most distracting lately because it's both task and surf-based. I remember Newport suggesting in Digital Minimalism to make devices as single-use as possible. I'll have to detail that out better with Facebook. And remind myself that I can scroll to my heart's content on Facebook during my weekend evening. During the week, it's a tool for contacting people and making arrangements for my in-person groups.
On with the day.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on November 18, 2019, 07:38:54 PM
I think "void time" is great in and of itself! I don't think we need to fill every moment with productivity, and a bit of boredom can actually be very restful for our brains. If you get urges to do other things, great, but if you just sit with yourself, I don't see a problem with it.

Heard someone today say that whenever she wants to check twitter, she gets up to rub her dog's tummy instead. I can't do that at work, but thought it was a charming redirection.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: raincoast on November 18, 2019, 09:06:57 PM
I just joined the forums and found this thread. This is a great challenge - something I definitely need to try.

For me, the big problem is all the little interruptions during the day - both work email and those "micro breaks" where I interrupt what I'm doing to scroll Facebook/Instagram or read the news. The work email is harder to control, because many more senior people at my office give me a hard time if I don't answer an email quickly. But I need to try to restrict all the other web surfing and phone messaging to lunchtime.

First thing in the morning and before bedtime are problem times for me too. It doesn't add up to that much time (most of my screen time is productive work tasks or creative writing) but I think it's making me less focused.

I've tried in the last few weeks to do this as my own private "detox" but it hasn't worked too well. Maybe I need the forum to keep me accountable?
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 19, 2019, 12:38:33 PM
Welcome, @raincoast!

I think I need to flesh out my line in the sand a bit more with Facebook.

I use it to buy things second hand, stay up on in-person events for different groups in my city, and to arrange to meet up with friends. Those are all task-based items. I'm finding that on my way to doing those things, I feel compelled to scroll through the photos of the friend I'm contacting, to see what she's been up to. Or I get distracted with friend suggestions when I see someone appear that I haven't seen in 15 years. Things like that.

I think the main thing is to keep my feed as empty as possible (I just figured out how to hide friend suggestions, so that's a plus). Maybe ask around about how people manage their notifications, when it's a mix of task- and surfing-based items. And to define what's surfing, so I can redirect those urges here.

So surfing Facebook is basically anything that's not Facebook Messenger, my Events page + the pages of the in-person groups I'm part of, and the Marketplace + Yard Sale groups for when I'm looking for specific items.
When I want to look on people's profiles, go to my on-line group forums, click on something that pops up on my feed, check out a notification that's not task-based, etc, I will check in here instead. And remind myself that I can do all those things on my designated surf evening.

Wish me luck!


Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: raincoast on November 21, 2019, 11:54:49 AM
Quote from: Luz on November 19, 2019, 12:38:33 PM

So surfing Facebook is basically anything that's not Facebook Messenger, my Events page + the pages of the in-person groups I'm part of, and the Marketplace + Yard Sale groups for when I'm looking for specific items.


I think that's a useful line for me too, since Facebook (and the internet in general) is also a tool that can be used productively if you have a purpose in mind. The problem is that, even when I go online with a purpose in mind, I often get sucked down rabbit holes.

I've gotten better this week by not automatically scrolling Facebook/Instagram when I wake up. I find I tend to reach for my phone when I have a moment of downtime or boredom - waiting for elevators, etc. Yesterday I had one of those workdays where nothing is particularly bad but you still feel bored/disengaged, and I found myself frequently looking for anything other than my work to distract me.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 21, 2019, 08:05:16 PM
Today I received a notification by email of an old friend's Facebook post related to a health crisis in her family. I checked her profile to get an update. It turned out that all was well. I didn't send her a message or connect in any other way.... though I did scroll through her photos to see what she's been up to.

This brings up a few things:
-Facebook photos tell little of what people are up to. That justification has got to go.

-Facebook is a great tool for connecting with others, but looking at friend's posts or even commenting on them doesn't make me feel connected. It's important for me to connect with people IRL. On that note, it probably would have been better to send my friend a message, letting her know I was thinking of her. Or better yet, to call her.

-I'm still not sure how to handle notifications so I don't get random ones. I'm going to put it on my "Projects" list to research how to turn off as much as I can.

-I think I could have waited until this weekend to check her profile for an update. If it was a true emergency that involved me (it was not) I could have been reached by phone. Even though it felt like a compelling reason to step off my task-based path, checking her status and scrolling her photos was surfing. There is a time and place for that.

-I don't catch myself surfing Facebook as easily as other surfing, because the uses still feel intertwined. But I suppose checking in here, even after the fact, may help make it less automatic. I think I'll have what I need as long as I can become aware that I'm about to surf.

On a positive note, I hung out with a friend last night. I wasn't feeling particularly motivated to go out- and in the past, I would've just hunkered down at home, likely online. But other than having to make an effort to get my butt out of the house, I had SO MUCH FUN. It's been so worth it to choose effortful leisure.




Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 22, 2019, 09:14:22 PM
I did my weekly surfing this evening. I was right in the middle of writing a post at the two-hour mark, and spent 30 minutes longer finishing it up.
Strategy for my goal of 2 hours surfing next week: the usual check-ins with urges and a check-in at the 2 hour mark of my surfing day, maybe this time looking at wrapping up a little earlier, so I'm not mid-post like today.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on November 23, 2019, 04:37:58 PM
Quote from: raincoast on November 18, 2019, 09:06:57 PM
For me, the big problem is all the little interruptions during the day - both work email and those "micro breaks" where I interrupt what I'm doing to scroll Facebook/Instagram or read the news. The work email is harder to control, because many more senior people at my office give me a hard time if I don't answer an email quickly. But I need to try to restrict all the other web surfing and phone messaging to lunchtime.

I think we've mentioned Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism in this thread, but if it hasn't come up yet, you may also like his Deep Work. The most impactful idea for me was this one:

Quote
The use of a distracting service does not, by itself, reduce your brain’s ability to focus. It’s instead the constant switching from low-stimuli/high-value activities to high-stimuli/low-value activities, at the slightest hint of boredom or cognitive challenge, that teaches your mind to never tolerate an absence of novelty.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on November 25, 2019, 10:49:06 AM
Last week (11/17-11/23) I logged 54 screen hours, 15 of which were on my phone.

Major consideration:
Video games   10 hours   
News   6 hours
MMM forum   3.5 hours   
Python programming   3 hours   
YNAB   2.5 hours   
Youtube   2.5 hours
Various texting apps   5 hours   
Facebook   1.5 hours

I seem to have hit a bit of a plateau!

I'm not going to track this week, because I'm on vacation. I do expect my overall time to go down, though my mobile time might go up.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 26, 2019, 10:54:25 AM
A few days ago I had a seemingly pressing decision to make and convinced myself that it was the exception to the non-task based internet use rule. It really wasn't.  I spent about 45 minutes googling different articles on the subject. But in the end, it didn't help me answer my question. I was kind've back to where I started. And even if google had helped, it could have waited until my designated surf time.

For me, idea development and decision-making isn't something to rush, no matter how hard I try. It's usually a non-linear process that requires a lot of letting things simmer. Googling, in that light, rarely brings me insight. In fact, I can't think of one time it did with these kinds of things.

So I'm here to reinforce that I can google whatever I want during my surf time. Outside of that and it's too easy to get sucked in to the point that it affects the rest of my life. And I don't have to control the desire to surf outside its designated time. Just check in here when I feel compelled (ideally before acting).

It's nearly the 1-month mark of this challenge for me. I haven't quite reached my goal of 2 hours surf time per week. But I'm really excited about how things have gone. I surfed up to 4 hours per day before the challenge. The last 4 weeks, it's been 4 hours of surfing max per week.

Bring on month 2!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 01, 2019, 10:08:23 AM
The toddler is out and about with her dad. I have the house to myself and am listening to music after doing a few hours of my side hustle. I'd love to google details about the artist, but that can wait until next surf session.
My last session was Friday and I kept it to my goal of 2 hours, for the first time. I think it's partly because I have no motivation or interest in anything from these darn first trimester pregnancy hormones, not even the internet.
Next right action: enjoy my empty house and just sit here and listen to the album.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Just Joe on December 02, 2019, 11:56:11 AM
Gave up on social media ages ago. Have spent ALOT of time here on self-improvement/learning with good value.

Spend too much time at work during quiet times reading MMM. Need to manage that way, way better. Not impacting my job which goes through quiet and busy periods but I could devote more time to learning other useful skills for my career. I do some, need to do more.

One goofy coping mechanism is opening that new rabbit hole link in another tab and then ignoring it for days and weeks or not reading those tabs at all.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 04, 2019, 07:55:08 PM
Most of my scrolling has been on the MMM forum and my favorite blog since I started the challenge. I have used very little of my designated time for my Facebook groups, which used to be my main thing. I was thinking of them today and how nice it will be to catch up. I left most of them when I did my detox.

The thought crossed my mind that there's really nothing keeping me from scrolling through them tonight and I could come up with a good excuse for doing so. But there's something that has worked so well by checking in here. I don't know how it's worked exactly, but I think it has allowed me to be honest with myself in the moment and to think critically about the justifications I believe for spending my time in a way I ultimately don't want to spend it.

I'm at the point today that while surfing my Facebook groups sounds nice, I'm ok with holding off until my next surf session. I want to surf tonight less than I want the things that the 2 hour/week surfing lifestyle allows.

@Just Joe, are you taking on the challenge? If so, what's your goal?
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Boofinator on December 05, 2019, 04:22:23 PM
Came across this interesting article that feels apropos.

https://thebaffler.com/salvos/r-i-p-kill-your-tv-zaitchik (https://thebaffler.com/salvos/r-i-p-kill-your-tv-zaitchik)

I feel the most productive times in my life were when I dropped cold-turkey pretty much all forms of "entertainment" and focused instead on productivity (perhaps this isn't the best word for "shit I know I should be doing"). That certainly isn't surprising, but what is counterintuitive is that I think I'm actually happier when I give up these distractions as well.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Just Joe on December 05, 2019, 04:27:32 PM
Quote from: Luz on December 04, 2019, 07:55:08 PM
@Just Joe, are you taking on the challenge? If so, what's your goal?

Yes, goal is to either read much, much faster or read less while at work. 50%+ reduction. There are certainly other things I could be doing to improve my skillset that is specifically engineering related... ;)

Sometimes I challenge myself to go a week or more without visiting websites/forums with good results.

After a long period of reading these forums I realized everyone has messy people around them to varying degrees - I had less to share. My social circle isn't really any messier than the forum average. Made some of my stories feel flat - which is a good thing I suppose. ;)

At times these forums have functioned like group counseling sessions. Thank you. Now focusing a bit more on learning rather than commiserating. Making fewer comments also makes the forum visits faster too.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 07, 2019, 09:52:52 AM
Took my surf session last night. It was 3.5 hours. It's hard to get off once I'm on. I'm pleased that I've mostly been staying away from surfing outside my designated time, but I'd like to get in the mode of checking in after 2 hours, even if I extend the time further. I think that's a good first step towards tackling stepping away when it's time. So that's my goal for the week. That plus continue to check in with urges.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on December 09, 2019, 01:17:12 PM
Slightly late check-in. It's pretty clear that my self-control got lax after vacation. 

Last week (11/17-11/23) I logged 68 screen hours, 19.5 of which were on my phone.

Major consideration:
Video games17 hours   
Various texting apps   4 hours   My notification blocker has stopped working??
Youtube   4 hours   Watched an annual charity livestream
MMM forum   3.5 hours   
Facebook   2.5 hours
News   2 hours
YNAB   2 hours   

Goal: Productive procrastination. I have had no success expecting focus out of every minute of my workday, but when I want to dawdle on my actual job, I would like to put that energy toward some career development, mostly online courses/certificates. I have a few of these lined up already.

Strategy: I uninstalled a video game from my laptop.

Since we're getting toward the end of the year, I have a lot of work to do and hopefully the total procrastination also decreases.

Goal #2: Keep up the sleep schedule. This requires regular effort but it's worth it. 8:30 screen bedtime on weeknights helps.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 12, 2019, 08:37:09 AM
I went to message a friend on Facebook about weekend plans and saw something she posted to her feed that I really wanted to comment on. That was my cue to check in here. I also realized that my designated surf time is just a day away. So I can comment then. And I'll also check in after 2 hours of surf time, in an effort to keep it from going over.

Next right thing: hop in the shower and start my day!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 12, 2019, 10:08:12 AM
So earlier I wanted to comment on a friend's post on Facebook.... and now I want to google the topic and read articles on it. It can wait until tomorrow.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 14, 2019, 08:43:55 AM
2 Check-ins:
-I took an hour of my surf time yesterday afternoon, anticipating that I wouldn't have a chance to surf this weekend. But I'd rather keep surfing to the evening and leave the day open for other things. Even if I don't have a chance to surf this weekend, I can always fit it in Monday night.

-I was looking at a few items on FB Marketplace a few days ago and saw a link to an interesting article, which I clicked. I prefer to save all clicking around like that to my designated surf times.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 15, 2019, 09:36:09 AM
I took my surf time yesterday and did 4 hours (actually 5 because I took an hour surf time during the afternoon when it looked like my weekend evenings would be too full to surf). 4 hours on Facebook groups and 1 hour on MMM. I didn't check in after 2 hours (my current strategy for prying myself away- doesn't seem to be working well).

This week, I'm going to try to do 3 hours with a check-in and see how that goes. Maybe a little extra time will be helpful, though it also could backfire. Anyone have any ideas for pulling myself away after my time is up? That's where I'm currently stuck.

I'll likely have a number of notifications this week from my groups, since I commented on different posts for the first time in a long while. My goal is to stay out of the FB forum pages despite the notifications until my next surf time. That might mean I check in here more often. I wish there was a way to hide notifications from certain pages so I only see them during my surf time. If the groups create more urges to surf when not appropriate, I may need to re-evaluate their use.

I also have one forum (non-Facebook) that's for my career. My time on there could technically be considered task-based, since I'm researching with the purpose of developing my career- but I could spend an entire day looking through posts, so I'm keeping it to my surf time. I actually could probably talk myself into all forum visits (MMM, Facebook, etc) being task-based- since my membership in the groups is about learning new information and having people's feedback on different ideas. But it's about the amount of time I get sucked in. So since my detox, I've hung onto 3 Facebook groups, 2 internet forums, and 1 blog - but only during surf time. And I also keep google searches on non-pressing issues to the surf time too, since that's the other area of internet time suck for me.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on December 15, 2019, 10:45:04 AM
Quote from: Luz on December 15, 2019, 09:36:09 AM
I took my surf time yesterday and did 4 hours (actually 5 because I took an hour surf time during the afternoon when it looked like my weekend evenings would be too full to surf). 4 hours on Facebook groups and 1 hour on MMM. I didn't check in after 2 hours (my current strategy for prying myself away- doesn't seem to be working well).

This week, I'm going to try to do 3 hours with a check-in and see how that goes. Maybe a little extra time will be helpful, though it also could backfire. Anyone have any ideas for pulling myself away after my time is up? That's where I'm currently stuck.

I can't imagine spending 4 hours at a time on facebook mostly because I've strictly limited the content I see there. First of all, I always view chronologically instead of "Top stories" so the algorithm can't feed me new stuff forever. (Admittedly, and probably to force you to use the algorithm, the chronological news feed doesn't go back forever, and if you're only checking once a week you might miss stuff.) I also unfollowed people/pages pretty aggressively and set my busiest groups not to show up in my news feed (so I only see Buy Nothing when I specifically go to that page). Finally, I installed the extension FB Purity, which gives you more precise control over what shows up in your news feed, including allowing you to permanently set the chronological ("Most Recent") view. Right now I'm blocking sponsored posts, game/app posts, trending posts, anytime a friend likes something/joins a group/gets a new friend/is interested in an event/gets tagged in a photo by someone else - and I've also told it to block "meme images," which it isn't actually great at but it's kind of amusing to see what it catches.

Anyway. I run out of stuff to do on facebook quickly, so I don't spend much time there. In related news, I finished a huge video game this week, so I've decided to take a break from those for a while. We'll see how my screen time changes!

Last week (12/8-12/14) I logged 58 screen hours, 14.5 of which were on my phone.

Major consideration:
Video games12 hours   
Advice column   6 hours   Guilty pleasure - yikes!
Various texting apps   6 hours   Notification blocker still not working
MMM forum   4 hours   
Youtube   4 hours   
Facebook   2 hours
Phone browser   1.5 hours
Career development   1.5 hours
News   0.5 hours

I would not call this a very successful week, goal-wise. It's hard to want to stick to a routine when I know I'm about to ruin it over vacation anyway. I only work two days this week before flying to see my family, so I probably won't be back with detailed tracking until January. Happy new year everyone!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 20, 2019, 11:08:11 PM
Did my three hours today. Here I am checking in, so that's progress. Thanks for the Facebook tips, @Tass. I love my Facebook forums and will likely spend much of my surf time on them, but limiting content will be a huge help for not getting sucked in between surfs.
I'm hoping that three hours is the charm and I can stick to it. We'll see how next week goes.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on December 21, 2019, 08:45:26 AM
Hi team:

I'd like to join this challenge!  I've been working on this forever, with progress in fits and starts.  Sometimes I've wasted enormous amounts of time online, to the detriment of work, friends, etc.  Other times its been pretty limited and in check.  Honestly, I think this is just a soft addiction that almost everyone has and we are all going to need to work collectively as a society to manage.  It's not like heroin where the answer is cold turkey immediately.  There are great things about tech but also seriously negative ramifications that we need to collectively work through. 

I've started off a week ago by setting myself a challenge of going cold turkey on my top two time wasters (another forum, where the content isn't as useful as this one) and one political blog.  I decided to attack specific websites because saying "OK no more internet today" flatly just didn't work, so I am trying to do this as a habit roll-up.  I'm not going to go from 2-3 hours a day to being a zen internet mastermind cold turkey, it's going to be a process with fits and starts.  So I am attacking the worst offenders first (the snarky forum is the WORST because people aren't nice and the threads stick in my head so I have a constant temptation to check back every so often, and the political blog I chose has commenters with a nastier tone than some others).

I've done pretty good with only a scan of the political blog all week and zero time on the snarky forum.  I'm going to continue that and add another political blog this week, which will take out my top three enemies.  I've noticed that I develop "substitutes" so its a bit of whack-a-mole, but if the total time wasted goes down it's a win, and if the substitutes are frugal blogs instead of pure waste blogs that's still a win. 

Like others on this thread, I sometimes also convince myself I need to do extensive "research" online.  Like the time in college I spent two days researching a laptop.  Or last year when I researched a TV for seven hours but then the store didn't have that model and I bought a comparable substitute without research.  Just last week I "researched" the life story of a particular band.  LOL.  Just yesterday I got caught up in a pointless debate on an other thread here -- I know that is fun for other people, but with a more than full time job and three kids that time ALWAYS comes from somewhere for me and it's just not worth it. 

I sometimes use internet to simply avoid doing other things.  I am a pretty hard worker and so this almost always happens during my free time and crowds out time with family or other fun things.  So to a certain extent I think I need to embrace "the nothing alternative."  I don't need to beat myself up about not networking more or doing a side hustle on saturday morning.  I am not actually trying to increase total work time but to carve out time for joyful fun and deep reflection.  So If I don't feel like being productive on a weekend morning, I should just enjoy my coffee and take my time to think through my day rather than go down various rabbit holes. 

It's a bit ironic to all share strategies to spend less time on the internet on the internet but I find the group connection helpful.  I'm going to plan to check here every Sunday (when I can see the rescue time weekly report for the last week) and avoid posting the rest of the week. 

See you tomorrow and good luck everyone!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 25, 2019, 09:13:08 AM
Yes to everything you said, blinx7! Great to have you in the challenge!

I am actually 9 years in recovery for a full-blown addiction in another area. There are SO MANY similarities to that and my internet use (although the consequences are much less severe at this point). It wasn't until I applied the strategy I used to come back from my initial addiction that I saw progress with my internet use. I spent 6 years trying everything else to manage it better. And it's just been since this challenge that I've been able to move forward. So exciting!

This has been a helpful article for me: https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/how-addiction-hijacks-the-brain.
It states: "In nature, rewards usually come only with time and effort. Addictive drugs and behaviors provide a shortcut, flooding the brain with dopamine and other neurotransmitters. Our brains do not have an easy way to withstand the onslaught."
I think accepting that digital devices are a bit more than my brain can handle has been such a helpful step, even though how we engage with our devices as a society, like you stated, is still so normalized.

I've learned with addiction that the only way for me to get out of the cycle is to abstain from the behavior. The dopamine cycle loses it's power that way. And the only way to abstain from the behavior has been to address every single urge in the moment, within a community so it's not just me in my head, and with the purpose of uncovering how I'm justifying the behavior to myself. Otherwise, my original intentions are totally laid to waste by justifications for why engaging in the behavior (in this case: surfing when it's not the appropriate time) is an exception just this once.

Cold turkey is easier for sure, but there are plenty of behavioral addictions where the person in recovery has to interact with the trigger (ie: problem gamblers still have to spend money to survive, binge eaters still have to eat). In those cases, it's clearly defining the line in the sand that you won't cross that makes a difference. But you still have to take the tiger out of its cage a few times a day, as they say.

Not everyone may identify with the addiction explanation, but I certainly was beating my head against the wall until I understood the brain science of addiction. Understanding more of the nuances has helped me figure out a better strategy for tackling this issue.

Depending on what's going on in my life, I'll have more urges to surf when it's not time. But I've seen steady progression. I can see that my urges to surf are coming every 5 days or so, where at the start of the challenge, it was a few times a day.

We celebrate the holidays on Christmas Eve, so today the morning is kind've stretching out before me. I thought a bit about surfing, so I'm checking in here. Instead, I'm going to do my daily writing exercise to help me get centered, then turn on some music and get some cleaning done. Then hop in the shower.

Not sure who said it, but I really like this quote: "Nothing will make you feel better except doing the work".
And also this one: "You can never get enough of what you don't need".

Happy Holidays!!





 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on December 26, 2019, 06:13:37 AM

Hi Luz, thanks for writing and great job going to journal yesterday.  I've been working on journaling too recently.  I started out with a morning worksheet that was useful for framing the day, and I've been adding a free-form evening reflection.  Sometimes it's helped sort out psychologically why I am feeling a certain way or doing things that aren't moving me forward in my life. 

Internet usage is a very tricky habit because there are probably some things we just want to eliminate entirely, other things that are useful in moderation, and even some things that can be positive in certain circumstances and not others.  For example, I like certain parts of this site because there are a lot of smart people focused on self-improvement and self-actualization but then there are plenty of ways to waste time here as well.  It's like if there was a combined casino/grocery store or something.  I'm thinking of this effort over the coming year as "rewiring my brain" and so am grateful for the link -- I'm trying defeat my bad habits with a multi-pronged approach:  self-study, tracking, discipline and reflection.   

I was using Freedom as an internet blocker until recently but I found it too easy to defeat (and sometimes I set goals that were too rigid and boxed myself in more than I wanted) and so I am discontinuing that and trying out RescueTime Pro as my guide for 2020.  RescueTime has blocking features (which I haven't been able to set up well yet) but my goal is that with tracking and discpline I'll just teach myself over time and be less reliant on them.

I'm going strong on my initial goal to avoid the top three sites that were causing me problems.  Rescue Time tells me that for the week of 12/15 - 12/21 I logged 33h 43 m, of which 11h 53 min were "very distracting" and 7hr 45 min were "distracting."  I think that might be an undercount that didn't track my work computer, but I very rarely waste time at work so it's probably OK.  I'm off this week so numbers may be higher but not too bad so far. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 28, 2019, 12:52:30 PM
I'm changing up a few things in my daily rhythm and am checking in here about when surfing will now take place and where triggers for surfing when it's not time might pop up.

I'm almost to my 2nd trimester of pregnancy and just turned a corner in feeling much better physically and mentally. So I'm back to exercising mid-day when the toddler naps, instead of napping myself. I find that when I have something that requires motivation to get started (like exercise), I'm much more compelled to "take my 15 minute break" first. So I'll likely be checking in more often during exercise time for awhile. I'm doing my side hustle in the evening in anticipation of having a newborn and toddler whose daytime naps don't overlap for awhile. I'll be lucky to squeeze in exercise during the day with 2 kids. Otherwise all my productive things are going to the evening hours.

During the evening, the plan is to do 1 hour of side hustle before anything else. Then 1 hour of surfing 3 days a week and the other days doing projects/going out/studying Spanish. The plan is to turn off the computer 1 hour before bed to take time to read or write. My problem area has been logging off once my time is up, so I'll be working on identifying barriers and coming up with strategies to make that easier for me. It might help to just commit to always checking in, even if its after the fact and I went over (last night I surfed for an hour and 15 minutes). I also realize that surfing 3 x 1 hour will give me more opportunities for going over my time limit. It might also help to lay out the book or magazine I'm reading beforehand, so I realize I get to continue to relax for awhile yet. L Maybe I can try to get into the habit of wrapping things up starting at the 45 minute mark and also remind myself that my time for surfing is not scarce, even if it feels like it. I can pick up where I left off at the next session.

I'm happy with how things went the last few months. I could easily have talked myself into surfing whenever the hell I wanted to, since I felt so constantly miserable and would have "deserved" the break. But I decided that there will be no exceptions. Because they always just lead me back to where I started. It feels good to know I dealt with a challenge without reverting back to old behavior.

I had Freedom on my computer for a time and it was somewhat helpful. But I decided to go without after going home to visit my family for three weeks last summer and spending most evenings after the toddler was in bed on my parent's computer, which was control-free. I justified it by saying that I deserved the break. It was a stressful summer since my husband was really sick for most of it. In the end though, I regret not going out with friends, playing pickup soccer, doing puzzles with my parents or reading instead. Those would have been better de-stressors (although a good, three-hour surf every week would have been great as well). And I would have stayed present for the trip. I'm planning another trip in March and am determined to surf my 3 hours a week and then totally live it up with family and friends. I'm so thankful this challenge came about and hopefully I'll get a do-over!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 28, 2019, 08:53:38 PM
Checking in after my hour (and 5 minutes) of surfing tonight. It's time to log off and read my book. I'm doing an hour of surfing each Fri, Sat, and Sun evening now that my schedule has changed. I'll check in after my surf time tomorrow, too.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on December 29, 2019, 07:44:00 PM
Checking in after my hour of surfing tonight.
I actually like doing my three surfing hours over three days instead of in one evening. It's the same number of hours, but it feels like the time stretches out way more. This week at least, I didn't have to tear myself away. I felt like I had plenty of time to surf what I wanted to surf.
I hope this trend continues and 3 hours over 3 days (Fri, Sat, Sun for now) is the ticket for me.
I joined the 50 books in 2020 challenge on MMM. I think it'll be a good companion challenge to owning up to my internet use.
Next action tonight is my side hustle, then a book.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Spud on December 30, 2019, 05:46:46 AM
Following this thread with interest although I don't feel that I should post as I have general issues with procrastination beyond the internet.

Cal Newport recently had a great blog post with a very concise but heavy hitting blog post. I'm thinking of implementing this in my own life and seeing how it goes.

https://www.calnewport.com/blog/2019/12/06/the-advice-i-gave-my-students/ (https://www.calnewport.com/blog/2019/12/06/the-advice-i-gave-my-students/)
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: cpa cat on December 30, 2019, 07:08:18 AM
Hey! I also read Deep Work a couple of weeks ago!

Even before that, I had committed to reducing wasted time on the internet, but I haven't been successful.

Goal 1: Quit Facebook.

I have a lot of excuses for why I haven't quit Facebook. I'm a fan of a variety of Cat celebrities, the Dodo, two Accounting Forums that have really great discussions, and Heather Cox Richardson, a history professor, who does a daily update of political news. And finally, my business page is tied to my Facebook account, and if I disable my account, my business Facebook will also die.

So I unfollowed all of my friends first. That did cut down on my Facebook time, but I filled it with cute videos of animals instead.
So I unfollowed most of the cats and the Dodo. Helpful, but every time Facebook is uninteresting, I go to MMM, Bogleheads, or Ask a Manager.
Heather Cox Richardson will deliver her newsletter by email, so that's a silly excuse.
And it turns out that only about 25% of the content on the Accounting Forums is actually good. Still, it's like a bear trap around my ankle.
I can make my employees authorized users on my business Facebook and block Facebook from my various computers. But I haven't.


Goal 2: Block MMM, Bogleheads, Ask a Manager at work

I probably spend 2 hours of my work day on the internet. Every time I pause between tasks, I want a mental break. Queue the internet. Reducing Facebook has only lead to my other forums taking over. I had actually gotten to where I had stopped posting (since posting is a huge time sink - oh the irony) for awhile, but as soon as Facebook reduced, posting returned.

If I could actually stop wasting time on the internet at work, I could literally end my work day 2 hours earlier. Why is it so hard?


Goal 3: Internet wastage is only for the morning while eating breakfast and weekends, if I feel so inclined.

Ok, so, I normally would have finished eating breakfast 15 minutes ago... and instead I'm posting on the internet. I feel like there's a problem in my Goal#3.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: talltexan on December 30, 2019, 08:50:33 AM
Quote from: Luz on November 21, 2019, 08:05:16 PM
Today I received a notification by email of an old friend's Facebook post related to a health crisis in her family. I checked her profile to get an update. It turned out that all was well. I didn't send her a message or connect in any other way.... though I did scroll through her photos to see what she's been up to.

This brings up a few things:
-Facebook photos tell little of what people are up to. That justification has got to go.

-Facebook is a great tool for connecting with others, but looking at friend's posts or even commenting on them doesn't make me feel connected. It's important for me to connect with people IRL. On that note, it probably would have been better to send my friend a message, letting her know I was thinking of her. Or better yet, to call her.

-I'm still not sure how to handle notifications so I don't get random ones. I'm going to put it on my "Projects" list to research how to turn off as much as I can.

-I think I could have waited until this weekend to check her profile for an update. If it was a true emergency that involved me (it was not) I could have been reached by phone. Even though it felt like a compelling reason to step off my task-based path, checking her status and scrolling her photos was surfing. There is a time and place for that.

-I don't catch myself surfing Facebook as easily as other surfing, because the uses still feel intertwined. But I suppose checking in here, even after the fact, may help make it less automatic. I think I'll have what I need as long as I can become aware that I'm about to surf.

On a positive note, I hung out with a friend last night. I wasn't feeling particularly motivated to go out- and in the past, I would've just hunkered down at home, likely online. But other than having to make an effort to get my butt out of the house, I had SO MUCH FUN. It's been so worth it to choose effortful leisure.

I'm glad you brought this up. I had unfollowed a friend because of her caustic posts about the President (I try to keep my social media more in the middle of both extremes there), and I missed her move into hospice and then pass away. I regret that I wasn't in a position to send her a supportive message while she lived.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 01, 2020, 01:28:40 PM
In celebration of a new decade, I'm taking on a few throw-down-the-gauntlet challenges on the MMM forum! I'm pumped!
But today I was unsure if they will be the exception to my surfing 3 hours a week rule. Can I check in on just my challenges whenever I have an update? Or will I need to post during my designated surf time only, in keeping with this challenge? I decided it's the latter. I'm inspired and will likely have gauntlet-related thoughts that I want to post during the week. But that could be a slippery slope. I can take notes on paper if an idea comes to mind and it's not surf-time. Then post them when it is.
For this challenge, I post whenever I want to surf (and it's not time) or if I'm surfing and it's time to log off. I'd like to interact with everyone's posts more, but I suppose that's something I can do during surf-time.
If it's not time to surf, I'm here just to check in.


Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 01, 2020, 07:43:58 PM
So I gave the challenges more thought, and decided to try something out...
2 evenings a week I set aside for projects and 1 evening a week is for studying Spanish. There are 3 MMM challenges that relate to the focus for those evenings. I decided then, that on those nights (Mon/Tues for projects and Wed for Spanish) I'm going to interact with the challenge threads (but only those 3). If I find myself off-task and distracted, I'll check in here and re-evaluate.
But I'm hoping the threads will help jump-start my goals in those areas.
I'm also going for the 50 books challenge (it'll likely be more like 30, but I'm giving it a shot) and I'd like to keep track of my health habits through one of the health/fitness threads... but those aren't really project-related, so I'll save my posting on those for surf time.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Spud on January 02, 2020, 05:07:55 AM
Quote from: Cpa Cat on December 30, 2019, 07:08:18 AM
Goal 1: Quit Facebook.

I quit Facebook completely in April 2012 and have never gone back. I permanently deleted my account. I didn’t just deactivate it, which in my opinion is a total cop out.

If you’re serious about quitting Facebook, the first thing to do is get all of the Facebook related apps off your phone. I don’t care what people say, when it’s on your phone, it basically on your person 24/7 and it’s so much harder for your addicted brain (more dopamine anyone?) to battle with the ever-present temptation of checking your feed or your likes etc. If it’s on your phone, you WILL relapse sooner or later.

The same thinking applies to iPads and Android tablets. They are no different from phones. In my experience, although people don’t carry tablets with them everywhere they go (that’s what phones are for) many people keep a tablet next to their bed or the couch. Instead of sleeping or watching a film on television with 100% of their attention, they end up playing games or mindlessly browsing the internet with the film on the television serving as little more than background noise and further distraction. This kind of fragmented attention multi-taking is what rapidly turns you into a zombie/vegetable/addict.

I believe that anything beneficial and meaningful about Facebook (and the internet in general) can be done on a desktop PC in your home (or a laptop functioning a desktop PC) in no more than 30 minutes a week.

Restrict yourself to 30 minutes Facebook use per week for two weeks. If you’re successful in doing this, reduce the time to 20 minutes per week for the following two weeks.

You can split the time however you like across the days of the week, just make sure you don’t exceed the maximum weekly browsing time. Ever. Set a timer/alarm to go off (make it loud and annoying) at the end of this allotted browsing time to jolt you out of your potentially mind numbing stupor. Keep a pen and pad next to your desktop PC, and before you even power it up to go on Facebook, write down on the pad, in as much detail as you can, exactly what it is you intend to do in your 5 or 10 minute mini session and allocate amounts of time to each separate activity. Be as detailed and specific as you can. Why?

This is often enough to put the brakes on and make you realise the futility the random, undefined browsing you were about to engage in. You read it back to yourself and realise that you weren’t going to do anything important and that you were merely scratching a dopamine driven itch, because you’re an addict. If you can’t describe, in writing, anything meaningful that you’re going to do online, then you simply don’t browse. At all.

Keep reducing the Facebook time by 10 minutes per week every two weeks until you don’t use Facebook.

All of this is designed to make your Facebook access location dependent, on a single “access terminal” inside your home. If you’re not at home, then you can’t use it, and if you are, there are boundaries and barriers in place to reduce ease of access and slow down your thought process so you actually become MINDFUL about using it. It’s the polar opposite of how most people currently use Facebook on their phones and tablets.

Once you’ve successfully whittled it down over the weeks to the point where you’re using Facebook on your desktop PC for no more than 10 minutes a week for two weeks, you’re probably ready to try the next step - dropping to ZERO minutes a week for two weeks. Once you’ve successfully done that, you need to login to Facebook for one final time, delete your account and then logout. Provided you don’t login again within 14 days of deletion (that’s what it was when I did it in 2012) then your account is permanently deleted and your addiction is cured. Hopefully.

Two things.

Firstly, if you can’t bring yourself to remove all traces of Facebook from your phone and/or tablet, then don’t bother going any further because your inner addict is lying to you. Deleting it from your phone/tablet is a massive first step and it’s MASSIVE for a reason. It is probably 95% of the act of cutting the chord. If you can do this and NOT reinstall the apps, you’re probably going to be successful overall.

Secondly, don’t think you’ll successfully customize this method by reducing the desktop PC browsing time by 30 seconds per week every 4 weeks or some nonsense. That’s not going to cut it. Again, it’s simply your addicted brain bargaining with you. It’s like saying you promise to take crystal meth every other day instead of daily. It’s not going to be successful.

You can extrapolate this approach to any other social media platform or to internet in general.

Remember the first step in any of this is to remove social media from your phone.

Good luck.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Spud on January 03, 2020, 04:00:57 AM
I’ve had a nagging realisation that since late 2018, I’ve been wasting more and more time watching YouTube via the app on my phone.

Despite having no presence on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, and having deleted Reddit after a brief period, I allowed YouTube to fill the void. It’s probably the best and worst thing about the internet. Again, just like my post above, everything good about YouTube can be done from a desktop PC in 30 minutes a week (possibly longer if you’re using it to watch a film).

Everything bad about YouTube happens on my phone. I won’t detail it but I can end up watching videos about things that are random “interesting” and linked vaguely with my hobbies and interests but ultimately, I can’t remember anything about them 3 days later. This is just an ongoing cycle of massive time wasting. My theory is that most people (and me!) consume massive amounts of random information online, about all manner of things but rarely remember it and rarely apply it. It’s just addiction to consumption of information that probably already supports what you they and believe. It’s just a massive exercise in ongoing confirmation bias.

Anyway. As of the evening of 1 January 2020, I made my smartphone into a dumbphone as per Cal Newport’s advice - https://www.calnewport.com/blog/2019/12/06/the-advice-i-gave-my-students/

I uninstalled the apps for YouTube and Gmail, along with the web browsers Opera and Google Chrome.

I still have WhatsApp but only because my friends use it instead of SMS text messaging. Nobody I know uses it to share funny cat videos or anything pointless like that thank god.

Now my phone can only do texts, WhatsApp, calls and Google Maps if I occasionally need it for navigation occasionally in the car (but I rarely do).

My aim is for this to be a permanent and lasting change. I won’t be posting frequent updates, but I might write a few sentences every month or two.

All my web browsing will now be done at work or on my laptop at home, where to be honest, I feel like I’m in control of things and don’t need to be on this thread. It was YouTube and browsing on my phone that was making me as bad as anyone else. My aim is to spend the time I’ve freed up actually DOING my hobbies, rather than consuming limitless random information about them.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on January 03, 2020, 08:36:51 PM
Here's where I am at, based on historical usage on RescueTime (with rounding): 

In November, I spent 6 hours of every day on my phone or home computer.  In December, I knocked that down to 5.25 hours.  This doesn't pick up my work computer, but I also spent a small amount, maybe 5-10 hours, in November on wasteful sites on my work computer too.  I've since stopped that and just use my work computer productively.   

This does include all time total, including doing work stuff on my phone or home computer or useful time like Waze, streaming lectures from Youtube while I clean or writing in my new online journal about my habits and goals.  However, given that I have a desk job, productive or not, that's an enormous amount of total screen time.  Throw in TV (I've watched more now that the weather is colder) and it's an embarrassingly large part of my waking life.  If you ballpark 35 hours of screen work (excluding breaks and meetings) a week and 2 hours of TV a day, ballpark 13 hours a day total for a bad month like November.  Maybe that can be round down to 12 hours if you have multiple screens (doing budget with TV on in background).  Compare that to 7-8 hours of sleep and 4-5 hours of awake time without screens?  Ooopmh. 

It's useful to capture it as much as possible though, because it can be tricky to precisely sort out the "good" time and the "bad" time and some of what I am trying to do is just limit screen time total, and hopefully in that process the bad time falls first.  That's what happened so far, and I think the 45 minutes a day I saved in the last month came from some of the worst internet time.  I've stayed away from the big three sites I was trying to avoid now for almost a month.  Once or twice I've hit my goal of less than an hour on "infotainment" but usually it's closer to the two hour mark. 

My goal for January is knock that down another 45 minutes a day to a total of 4.5 hours a day.  That is still plenty of time to do my journal, budgeting, track my habits / food / steps, listen to youtube lectures while cleaning, etc. and also will give me a plenty comfortable budget of time to check in here or do other fun surfing. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 03, 2020, 08:46:33 PM
Checking in after surfing my designated time today (in order to log off). I did 1 hour 10 minutes. And now it's time to read.
It's a few years late, but I'm finally starting the book "Hillbilly Elegy". I'm already hooked and am loving the feeling of losing myself in books again. It's been awhile.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on January 03, 2020, 09:09:56 PM
Quote from: Luz on January 03, 2020, 08:46:33 PM
Checking in after surfing my designated time today (in order to log off). I did 1 hour 10 minutes. And now it's time to read.
It's a few years late, but I'm finally starting the book "Hillbilly Elegy". I'm already hooked and am loving the feeling of losing myself in books again. It's been awhile.

That was a great book.  Congratulations and enjoy, Luz!  i'm inspired to go download a new library book now too.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 04, 2020, 06:51:51 PM
It's time to log off from my designated surf time. I did 1 hour and 6 minutes, if we're being precise!
I don't feel ready to log off tonight because I have some things I want to look at still, but I'm reminding myself that I have an hour of surfing tomorrow yet. That makes it easier.
Time to chat with my husband, do a little exercise, and read my book before calling it a night.
Logging off.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 05, 2020, 08:59:45 PM
I took the final hour of my designated surf time for the week tonight. 1 hour and 6 minutes. I love having my surf time spread out over a few days rather than doing it in 1 chunk. I think I prioritize my time better and feel more able to let go when it's time to log off.

Next up: get some reading in.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: FIRE_guy on January 06, 2020, 01:22:41 AM
Ugh. averaged 6h30mins per day between laptop and mobile devices last week.

Did I forget to mention that I'm off this week on "holidays"?!?!


Super dissapointing. I used to be really good about my screen time (after first getting into Cal Newport's writing). After reading Deep Work I successfully completed a 365day streak of <60mins/day on my phone. Feels like that's gone down the drain at this point; hours upon hours of mindless surfing are my life now.

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: cpa cat on January 07, 2020, 05:47:58 AM
I've done pretty well.

I'm happy with where I landed on my Facebook usage. It's not completely banned, but since I've hidden most things from my newsfeed, the only stuff I see are posts on an accounting group and Heather Cox Richardson (who posts one update per day summarizing the previous day's political news). I also chose not to hide my mom or husband, but they're not super active. Overall, Facebook isn't the temptation it once was because the content that my newsfeed can load is limited. I don't post on Facebook very often and haven't in a long time. I check it once or twice a day for a couple of minutes and it's done.

Since I control my workplace (self-employed), I blocked certain websites from being accessed at work. My employees will get a surprise if they try to access MMM!! My controls are easy to get around if someone really wanted to, but that's ok - simply seeing the message the site is blocked by the administration reminds me about my goals.

My husband borrowed my home laptop and I didn't know where it was for a week, so that limited my ability to post on the internet, restricting me to my phone (which I don't like to type on). That actually worked well for me and I think I will try to stop posting on any forums. So if this is my last update forever, then it means I was successful. For me, actually posting on forums is way more of a time suck than browsing.

This week, I am also going to try recommit to some of the other ideas in Deep Work. I may have done well with online stuff, but my work is filled with constant interruptions - phone, meetings, employees and email. With tax season here, it's a million times worse. I need to be more regimented with my time so that I block off Do Not Disturb time and force the other stuff into times where they belong.

Goodbye, forever. Maybe.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: fredbear on January 07, 2020, 12:48:51 PM
I have found you a source of good sense, good humor, acuity, and professional savvy.  If this is goodbye, it is with regrets here. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: talltexan on January 07, 2020, 12:49:31 PM
I'm substituting in a printed book (Toni Morrison's Paradise) in place of the phone for the last-thing-before-sleep routine.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 07, 2020, 03:10:13 PM
This morning I was looking for an old photo on Facebook that I need for a project, when I got distracted by a comment a friend had posted on the photo. I haven't talked to him in 6 years and the last time I saw him, he wasn't doing well. I hovered over his name, and by the looks of his updated profile picture, he seems like he's in a really good place now. So I went to his photos to confirm. I'm thrilled that he appears to be doing well. But afterward I realized that I veered off my task-based internet usage. So I'm checking in here.

I probably get distracted from task-based things to click on surf things every week and a half or so now. I hope that if I keep checking in, I will be able to catch it when it happens sooner. I'm trying to make a clear separation in my mind between tasks and surfing. Hopefully my check ins will result in being able to better redirect the distractions to their designated surf time. I'm glad for the mini-update on my friend's life. But next time it can wait until Friday.

It's good to realize that my internet-use issues are: 1) urges to surf when it's not time (to avoid doing something else or to research an interesting idea), 2) logging off when my surf time is up, and 3) getting distracted by interesting links when doing something task-based on the net.

I also am getting in the habit of reaching for a book or magazine when I have unexpected pockets of downtime. I realized this week that I used to do that to fill my time before I started surfing so often. It's been a really satisfying new hobby. I'm hoping to expand to podcasts, print newspaper, videos (I have yet to see a number of oscar-winning ones), listening through albums of music, and puzzles. I also think origami and embroidery sound really relaxing. I like team sports, hiking, thrifting, cooking and singing, though I haven't done many of those just for fun in years. Someday I'd like to practice an instrument (the cello?). Listing all these make me realize how hobby-poor the last 6 years have been (when I let the internet take over my time).

Hobbies sound like a lot of work to get up and running compared to zoning out to the internet. But maybe this year will be a good time to invest in effortful leisure, like Newport talks about in Digital Minimalism. I think I can commit to reviving the following three hobbies this year (in addition to reading): hiking, Oscar movies, and embroidery.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: talltexan on January 09, 2020, 02:31:02 PM
I also should add: perhaps I ought to have picked up more of a page turner. Ms. Morrison is rather, ahem, layered.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on January 09, 2020, 07:53:58 PM
Quote from: talltexan on January 09, 2020, 02:31:02 PM
I also should add: perhaps I ought to have picked up more of a page turner. Ms. Morrison is rather, ahem, layered.

Maybe best to start with something you're really looking forward to getting back to, yes.


A midweek update to mention two principles I'm trying to enact.

The first is related to Cal Newport's advice someone posted about upthread, about limiting the things your phone is able/allowed to do. I added three things to his list to come up with the following allowed activities on my phone:
When I tried to apply this concept to my laptop, I discovered that the ONLY useful thing I do on it every day is email. (I am a scientist, so a lot of my productivity is in the lab doing experiments.) Adding in more occasional requirements, I came to this list of allowed work computer activities:
My home computer is allowed for full budgeting, news, and social media.

The second principle is "out of sight, out of mind." On vacation, I often left my laptop in the basement and didn't even think about getting online all day.

I'm working on streamlining my screen use with both these principles in mind. I cleaned up my desktop and reorganized the apps on my phone (including deleting several), so I have to look in different places for things - this will help me interrupt old habits before they start. I took Chrome off of my toolbar and close it whenever I'm done with it, so it's not there to tempt me. I've also just moved into a secondary workspace down the hall, and I'm hoping to spend more time physically away from my computer.

But I added a few direct shortcuts to my desktop - my gmail inbox and my YNAB budget. (Might even wean myself off the latter at work.) Once I'm on the internet, I often feel like I'm forgetting to do one last thing - and then I check every website I ever use to see if that's what I'm forgetting. Typing in the URL bar triggers this, especially since Google autofills suggestions. So I'm hoping that direct shortcuts to the only websites I have reason to check will circumvent that spiral. Open the page I want, do what I came for, close it when I'm done.

Between all these efforts, I'm hoping to pretty drastically slash my screentime. (New Year's optimism!) For today, at least, I've logged about half as much screentime as the first three days of this week. I feel like I've made good slow progress since starting this thread, but it's time for me to stop being satisfied with baby steps.

My mantra for when I feel restless about these restrictions is "This is not an entertainment device!"
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 10, 2020, 07:26:16 PM
Tonight was my surf night. I did 1 hour and 20 minutes. I loitered past my hour in part because I forgot that I have an hour tomorrow and the next night, too. My goal tomorrow is to remind myself at the 1 hour mark that any unfinished surfing business can spill over into Sunday night.
Time for my side hustle and then some reading.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: raincoast on January 10, 2020, 11:30:55 PM
One of my New Year's resolutions is "no social media before noon". I still allow myself to check direct messages, and other Internet usage. So far I've made it 9/10 days.

At first it was hard to wait until lunchtime, but I seem to be breaking the cycle of checking social media whenever I have a moment of downtime, like when I'm waiting for elevators. Weirdly, even though I still allow myself to look at news sites in the morning (one of my other Internet time-wasters), I feel less urge to do so.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 11, 2020, 10:38:55 AM
I was thinking of a future decision and had the urge to check what the internet had to say about the pros and cons of the different options involved. It feels so pressing and I want an answer now, but I actually likely have 4 years. So it's not urgent in the least. And I surf tonight anyway (but will probably forget to look up my burning question).

I'm enjoying the gauntlet challenges on the MMM forum, but staying up on the different threads seems to take up much of my surf time. And they feel more like tasks than surfing at this point, since they are linked to specific goals. But I know they'll also take up a lot of time from other areas if I allow a free-for-all. So maybe I'll take one of my surf hours to do the updates (though a few challenges-which I defined previously- relate to projects I do on other days of the week, so I update then). Next week I'll try one night for Facebook (and scroll through all updates before I comment on any one to decide which I want to prioritize), one for updating my challenges, and the last for miscellaneous (mostly google, mmm threads, a blog, and a newspaper).

Next right things: clean, exercise, then do paperwork and details.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 11, 2020, 08:00:55 PM
Took my surf time tonight and did 1.5 hours. Went a ways over yesterday too. It's likely because I surfed first thing both evenings rather than getting my side hustle done before hand. I'm procrastinating.
So on to my side hustle tonight. Tomorrow's surf time will be after the side hustle is done. We'll see how that affects my willingness to log off.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on January 12, 2020, 09:34:23 AM
This week is a bit odd - I had 3 pretty bad days and then 3 excellent ones. So I hope to do even better than this next time.

Last week (1/5-1/11) I logged 48.5 screen hours, 15 of which were on my phone. That's my lowest ever, though vacation was even less.

Major consideration:
MMM forum   6 hours   Yikes
Various texting apps   6 hours   
Advice column   3.5 hours   More yikes
Youtube   2.5 hours   
News   2 hours
Facebook   1.5 hours
YNAB   1 hour

Goal: Stick to the principles I laid out on Wednesday, especially making my work laptop single-use. Try for under 40 screen hours.

Strategy: I guess I sort of said this above. But this will probably require me to use my phone less as well.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 12, 2020, 09:50:54 PM
I did my side hustle before surfing tonight!!!
... but I still surfed past my target time of 1 hour. I did 1 hour and 45 minutes.
I had somewhere around 4.5 hours surf time this week.
Next week, I'll focus on doing my side hustle beforehand and see how things shake out. If I go way over 3 hours again, I'll look at different strategies to try.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 13, 2020, 01:49:43 PM
I thought about it today, and I think my strategy for logging off after my surf time this week will be to update my gauntlet challenges outside of surf time. I had two weeks of 3 hour surf times that felt sufficient. But since I've taken surf-time to post on the challenges, my surf time hasn't felt relaxed.

I have 3 challenges related to projects I do on Monday-Wednesday evenings, so I post to those forums then. I have 2 more challenges related to sleep and reading that I think help supplement my internet-use challenge, since right after I use the internet for surfing or projects, I try to read, then get my butt in bed. So like I do for this thread, I won't have set parameters when I can post for those ones.  I'll try for whenever I have an update that will help forward movement in those areas. And check in here for how it goes.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 16, 2020, 12:19:32 PM
The toddler is sleeping and it's time to catch up on a few hours of my side hustle. Instead, I would love to look up random things on google and and even started clicking on a few links. But tomorrow is my surf night, so I can google whatever I want then.
Next right action: side hustle (and it's fairly rote today, so not much effort is required). Work first, play later.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 16, 2020, 09:10:41 PM
I took my surfing hour tonight instead of tomorrow because I'm going out with a friend. 1 hour and 9 minutes.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on January 18, 2020, 05:49:17 AM
I've done a pretty great job this week.

I'm still cold turkey on the three websites that caused the most problems.  40 days on the worst one, then 30 days streak on the other two.  Even better, I've done it without blocking software but just by setting incremental goals, which is the way to make it a sustainable habit.

Like I predicted, there was a bit of a whack-a-mole process.  I think I started surfing MMM and bogleheads more when I stopped those other sites.  I do like MMM, so the deal I made with myself this week is that I'd stop for the week and then get a day where I can get my fill.  This is working well because before I was actually getting a bit bored with the site and just surfing to distract myself, but when I save it up there's great content here to check and also I can really take stock of the week in posts like this.  I don't want to go cold turkey on everything, so this approach worked this week and I want to keep it up again.

I've been logging work time too so now I have a full capture of screentime.  Work is like 99% productive so that's good but it does make me think about how much time I spend in front of screens period.

Per rescue time I've spent 5h and 49 minutes on distracting sites this week.  I'm sure I'll log a few hours today and bump that up past the ultimate goal of 7hours, but that's OK.  Last week I was at 16h and 30 minutes and historically I had some weeks above 20h, so this is a great improvement.  Rescue time is tricky because you need to trust the classifications and so there's always category errors, but it's a useful ballpark.  Mostly, I feel like things are under control.

The tough part this week was I have a trigger to surf on the internet when I get home from work as a "reward."  I am so exhausted when I am done work and this has been my bad habit for a while, so sometimes this week I was literally "white knuckling" it to not do it.  I need replacement habits, such as making tea and cleaning the house with podcasts, to help.  My hope is over time I actually rewire my brain away from these triggers and so it gets easier.

I also spent some time reading stupid news articles, and "researching" properties, solely to get my screentime fix.  I'd love to just be zen for a bit and have a tech diet, and then use designated time to just do things that add the most value, but that's going to be a process.

My goal next week is just to keep things up.  MMM and Bogleheads for today only, but then a break until next Sunday.  Continue with the ban for the initial three sites.  I'm trying to work on pointless pick-ups too, so I deleted Personal Capital from my phone and won't check net worth until next Saturday, on my computer.  I'm going to work on replacement habits too, so that I don't get home from work and just stare forlornly at my phone and wish it was Saturday and I could surf freely.  I want to get home from work and enjoy a more wholesome ritual, like making herbal tea and listening to a podcast while picking up. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on January 18, 2020, 09:51:35 AM
Quote from: blinx7 on January 18, 2020, 05:49:17 AM
I want to get home from work and enjoy a more wholesome ritual, like making herbal tea and listening to a podcast while picking up.

Congrats on your progress blinx! I would suggest maybe not to replace your "rest" surfing with a chore, and instead acknowledge that your brain needs some downtime. The tea and podcast part sounds great. :)
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 18, 2020, 08:58:47 PM
1 hour and 12 minutes of my designated surf time today. I've got a good book waiting for me, so it's time to log off.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on January 19, 2020, 10:13:22 AM
I made my goal of 40 hours or less! Last week (1/12-1/18) I logged 40 screen hours, 15 of which were on my phone.

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   7.5 hours   
MMM forum   5 hours   
Email   3.5 hours   
News   2 hours
Facebook   1.5 hours
YNAB   1.5 hours   
Advice column   1 hour   
Career development   1 hour
Recipes   1 hour
Youtube   0.5 hours   

I'm fairly pleased with most of this. Due to the nature of my work, I expect my total hours to go up next week, especially with some career development hours. That's not a problem.

Goal: I would like to HALVE both my top two categories, so aiming for under 4 hours on texting apps and under 2.5 hours on MMM.

Strategy: I guess I better get off! Cutting down MMM just means less time on "all unread" looking for new interesting threads. I'm not actually sure how my texting got so big; per day, my usage ranged from 13 minutes to two hours. I'll just keep an eye on it and see if I can spot any patterns.

ETA: Just realized my phone was set to stay on for 5 minutes of inactivity, which may have been boosting my numbers (both from fake usage and from being more likely to catch my attention that way). I just turned it back to 30 seconds. Maybe that will help.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 19, 2020, 08:59:32 PM
1 hour, 10 minutes for my third hour of surfing this week. It was so much easier logging off this week than last. I'm guessing it's because I got my fill of just dinking around and didn't need to cram in task-based updates into surf time as well. We'll see how the next few weeks play out.
On to reading!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 21, 2020, 01:37:53 PM
Week 12 of the challenge, so it's time to look over the numbers from start to present.

Random urges to surf when not time: 26
-12 of which were in the first week (and 5 urges the next)
-2 of which were urges I acted on
-3 weeks had no urges at all
-I think urges have decreased to every 1-1.5 weeks. Though there was a 2 week span the first weeks of 2020. Progress!

Getting distracted by interesting links when doing something task-based:
-7 distractions, I think I caught myself 2 times or so and the rest were 10  minutes of clicking on links before realizing I had to report myself.

Total hours exceeding desired 3 hour surf time log off:
-7 (8 of the 12 weeks have been 3.5 hours (the .5 is taking 10 minutes per evening to wrap things up at the 1 hour mark, which I'm ok with)

I'll keep checking in with urges.
Distractions are challenging, but I will continue to check in with them, even after the fact if necessary. And continue to work on setting up my digital life in the least-distracting way.
I'm shooting for 1 hour of surf time + no more than a 10 minute wrap-up x 3 evenings a week. I now update my challenges outside of surf time. It works best to completely separate tasks and surfing (both in staying focused with tasks, but also with keeping surf-time unproductive).

I'm interested to see how this year shakes out.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 22, 2020, 12:58:04 PM
I was on the way to updating one of my MMM challenges, but it's not one of the 3 that I update as the inspiration strikes. It's one I update weekly on the nights I do my projects. The update can wait until Monday.

Having accountability has helped so much in seeing forward movement in different goals. And updating my challenges outside of surf time has really helped with logging off when my time's up. But I want to stick to certain parameters about when I'll make updates, so it's not taking over time meant for other things.

For now: paperwork then exercise.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 24, 2020, 08:58:04 PM
1 hour, 10 minute Friday night surf session. Time to read.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on January 24, 2020, 09:45:04 PM
I clocked 10 hours of distracting time over 7 days last week.  I'm at 10 right now over 6 days this week.  Still way down from previous weeks -- basically in half.  Some of the distracting time was actually useful things, too, it's just the Rescue Time classification system is a bit odd and I haven't dug into it too much yet.

I'm still good on the three blogs I was trying to avoid.  I ignored MMM and personal capital all week, but I cracked Friday night.  Technically a day early but I surfed all Saturday morning last week and this week I've got plans to exercise with a friend.  Instead of a marathon session, I'm going to try some time tonight and then some time Saturday and then it's back to the goals so I'll be logging off starting Sunday until next weekend.

I was "white knuckling" it a bit yesterday, but things are going OK on the whole.  Life is still as busy as ever, even with less surfing.  I think that's just the way it rolls with three little kids.  I finished up a TV show I was watching regularly on Netflix, so I need to make sure that time is channeled to good use.  My big goal for next week is going to be to keep things up, but channel the reduced TV time well. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on January 24, 2020, 09:47:40 PM
Quote from: Tass on January 19, 2020, 10:13:22 AM
I made my goal of 40 hours or less! Last week (1/12-1/18) I logged 40 screen hours, 15 of which were on my phone.

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   7.5 hours   
MMM forum   5 hours   
Email   3.5 hours   
News   2 hours
Facebook   1.5 hours
YNAB   1.5 hours   
Advice column   1 hour   
Career development   1 hour
Recipes   1 hour
Youtube   0.5 hours   

I'm fairly pleased with most of this. Due to the nature of my work, I expect my total hours to go up next week, especially with some career development hours. That's not a problem.

Goal: I would like to HALVE both my top two categories, so aiming for under 4 hours on texting apps and under 2.5 hours on MMM.

Strategy: I guess I better get off! Cutting down MMM just means less time on "all unread" looking for new interesting threads. I'm not actually sure how my texting got so big; per day, my usage ranged from 13 minutes to two hours. I'll just keep an eye on it and see if I can spot any patterns.

ETA: Just realized my phone was set to stay on for 5 minutes of inactivity, which may have been boosting my numbers (both from fake usage and from being more likely to catch my attention that way). I just turned it back to 30 seconds. Maybe that will help.

Great work, Tass.  I really like how you broke down the time so well, it helps put things in perspective.  I'm sure it will be helpful for tracking week to week.  I'm going to dig into rescue time a bit more and see if I can pull out some useful data like this. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on January 24, 2020, 09:50:07 PM
Quote from: Luz on January 21, 2020, 01:37:53 PM
Week 12 of the challenge, so it's time to look over the numbers from start to present.

Random urges to surf when not time: 26

Getting distracted by interesting links when doing something task-based:
-7 distractions

How do you track this?  Do you just mark it in notepad each time? 

These numbers are good, I think probably what I have in a day.  What did things look like in Week 1?
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 25, 2020, 09:06:12 PM
@blinx7, I check in to this thread with every urge, distraction, and late log off. I just scrolled through and tallied it up by week.
I had very convincing urges to randomly surf a few times a day the first week. Then it went down to every day for the next week. It's been once a weekish since then. But I've noticed that getting distracted by links when I'm doing task-based things has taken the place of urges as my main challenge. It's harder to pause before acting in those cases. That and logging off after my time is up.

With that in mind 1 hour, 10 minutes for Saturday night surf time (and another 15 min for this reply on my way to logging off). On to reading.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on January 26, 2020, 09:08:54 PM
I had the impression that this week didn't go well, but the numbers were better than I thought. I didn't meet my ambitious goals, but I did move in the right direction.

Last week (1/19-1/25) I logged 39 screen hours, 12 of which were on my phone.

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   6.5 hours   
MMM forum   3.5 hours   
Email   3.5 hours   
News   2 hours
Facebook   1.5 hours
Career development   1 hour
Goodreads   1 hour?? no clue how that happened
Recipes   1 hour

Goal: I want to get that texting time a little lower.

Strategy: This is probably straightforward, as I have a lot of lab work to do this week. I'm approaching a level that I'm pleased with! Let's keep it up.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 27, 2020, 12:53:42 PM
I visited a friend last night during my surf time (I'm trying to get out around friends more evenings a week) and tonight have a book I want to chip away at for this week's reading challenge (it's kind've dragging on and I need to make some progress). But that means I won't surf again until Friday night, because surfing before then will eat into other things I need to do, even though I technically have time leftover.

Also, the toddler is 10x the usual work this week because she's teething and miserable. Toddlers are irrational anyway, but teething really takes it to a new level. Surfing and multiple bowls of chocolate ice cream are a tempting way to deal with how exhausting this phase is, but I know they won't make me feel better in the long run. Those teeth will poke through sooner than later, and I'll be glad to have stayed the course meanwhile. No exceptions, especially for the times when I think I deserve them most.

Next right thing: finish my journaling meditation, exercise, and hop in the shower (being un-showered is such a trigger for just throwing the day away, for some reason)

@Tass and @blinx7  Work it! I'm impressed.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 28, 2020, 10:43:10 AM
I decided how to structure my MMM challenge updates. I already do 3 challenge updates during the evenings I do related projects and study Spanish. For the others, if I have updates, I will check in while the toddler is napping or during her solo playtime, but only after I've gotten the responsibilities that I usually do during those times done. I'll track updates on paper for when there isn't time to fit them in. And I'll check in here when I want to log updates and it's not the appropriate time to do so. I'll keep updates for this challenge flexible, because it's what helps me redirect urge to surf in the moment. 

So to review, check-ins are for:
-urges to surf when it's not time (outside of my 3 evening hours weekly)
-urges to update challenges when it's not time (outside my project evenings and before completing other responsibilities)
-distractions when I'm using the internet for task-based items
-logging off from surfing when my time is up
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on January 29, 2020, 08:22:27 PM
My evening schedule changed a bit so now I'm surfing Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights.
Tonight: 1 hour, 20 minutes.
Time to read.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on February 01, 2020, 08:46:59 AM
Things have been pretty great this week.  Still cold turkey on the sites I decided to cut out of my life.  Way less time on news and distractions.  Rescue Time is showing 4 hours and 5 minutes, and most of that was my designated MMM break on Friday night / Saturday morning.  I also averaged an hour of TV a night Monday through Thursday and was able to work on bedtime habits as a result.  I think this is great because I knew I couldn't just say "no internet" and poof because that's never worked, so instead I've been thinking of this as a process of rewiring my habits and it's been generally working. 

I'm trying to apply a bit of Marie Condo logic to my time on the internet.  Is this really bringing me joy?  I am OK blocking out some break time for things that bring me joy, but to cut mercilessly things being done to distract myself or that engage me but I dislike, like political arguments.  There was a thread I posted on last week on this site for example, that didn't start political but sort of spiraled that way.  I checked this week and was going to respond to someone's post that I thought was pretty rude, but then I stopped and thought "is this worth it?  does it bring me joy?  does it help the world?"  The stupid thing is I really don't care passionately one way or another, I think I just like debating and proving points.  But I can do that in a constructive manner in my job and make money and help my clients.  Wasting that mental energy in my personal time, when I should be recovering, is insane.  So I'm just trying to disengage from things that aren't really adding value and it's mostly working.  I'm proud of myself or recognizing this in advance and not "taking the bait."  (Upon reflection, I am guessing a lot of people in those threads are actually very normal, nice people, with the same problems as me, and they frame their arguments to be purposefully provocative in order to get other people to take the bait -- and I probably did that too.)

I did have a bit of an issue last night, where I designated Friday as my "free internet time" but then watched TV with my wife, so I stayed up later to surf more.  I watched some really interesting Youtube documentaries on North Korea, but then stayed up until almost 1am.  Worst, I've been doing so good at my wake-up goals that I was awake at 6:30 anyways and couldn't really fall back asleep, so I laid in bed until 8am and just dragged myself up. 
So I think I need to remember that a break time is great but the break needs to bring me joy.  A break that fits into my life is break, but a break that disrupts it is just a binge. 

I'm thinking of this process like cleaning up my diet.  We can't avoid food, and we can't survive just on broccoli.  But we need to make sure we are nourishing our bodies properly and that treats have their place in our diet but just their place and not the base.  Screentime is the same way.  Some things just need to be eliminated (like the online versions of Cheez Whiz).  But other things need to be moderated, or enjoyed at certain time, or stopped for a brief period to achieve a goal and then brought back when they can be handled well.  Also, like diet we are going to have occasional lapses.  But as long as those lapses are just an hour or two more than we should, and just once every couple weeks, etc., that's gonna be just fine.  But if they start to pile up we will just need to course correct.

I read that it takes an average of 66 days for something to go from a tracked goal to just a habit.  For something as ingrained as needlessly scrolling blog / reddit comments (which I did for over a decade), I think I'm going to need a bit more than that.  So I'm still tracking as goals staying away from those stupid political sites and am going to do so for at least another few months.  I need to make sure I knock that out for six months until I can just say "wow that's all out of my life now."

This week I exercised twice, went on a networking dinner, and was more engaged with kids before bedtime.  I also ate my meal prepped lunches from Sunday all week, and I spent time texting friends in order to line up plans. Superbowl this week, followed by two brunches the next two weeks, and a happy hour in a few weeks.  Some regular exercise plans with friends as well.  I was active before, but now with extra mental space I can redirect internet time to planning these things and do even more.  Also, I used to feel deprived or stressed with too many activities, because I "needed" my 2-3 hours of internet or TV time.  I've whittled this down to an hour of relaxing TV and minimal internet "surfing" except for designated breaks, so I can have a full day work and fun activities and not feel stressed for time.

Need to still be watchful and not declare victory early because in the past I've made progress then relapsed during stressful periods.  But two months in and things are going great.  Onward and upward. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on February 01, 2020, 09:06:55 AM
Quote from: Luz on January 25, 2020, 09:06:12 PM
@blinx7, I check in to this thread with every urge, distraction, and late log off. I just scrolled through and tallied it up by week.
I had very convincing urges to randomly surf a few times a day the first week. Then it went down to every day for the next week. It's been once a weekish since then. But I've noticed that getting distracted by links when I'm doing task-based things has taken the place of urges as my main challenge. It's harder to pause before acting in those cases. That and logging off after my time is up.

With that in mind 1 hour, 10 minutes for Saturday night surf time (and another 15 min for this reply on my way to logging off). On to reading.

Thanks.  I think checking in here when I wanted to play on the internet would be dangerous for me! 

Links are dangerous.  I remember reading something about how even the presence of links reduces reading comprehension.  Maybe one solution would be to download something like Pocket and save the article you opened in a link for later and see whether you actually care once the instant temptation is gone?  But anyways you are doing great so doesn't seem like you need to worry that much. 

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on February 01, 2020, 09:45:49 AM
Quote from: blinx7 on February 01, 2020, 08:46:59 AM
I'm trying to apply a bit of Marie Condo logic to my time on the internet.  Is this really bringing me joy?  I am OK blocking out some break time for things that bring me joy, but to cut mercilessly things being done to distract myself or that engage me but I dislike, like political arguments.  There was a thread I posted on last week on this site for example, that didn't start political but sort of spiraled that way.  I checked this week and was going to respond to someone's post that I thought was pretty rude, but then I stopped and thought "is this worth it?  does it bring me joy?  does it help the world?"

I like this and I like your diet analogy.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on February 02, 2020, 03:25:35 PM
Last week (1/26-2/1 I logged 49 screen hours, 17 of which were on my phone.

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   7.5 hours   
MMM forum   3.5 hours   
Word + Excel   4 hours   
Email   3 hours   
Audio   2.5 hours   (Spotify, podcasts, etc)
News   1.5 hours
Facebook   1.5 hours
Career development   1.5 hours
YNAB   1.5 hours   
Phone browser   1.5 hours   
Skype   1 hour
Recipes   1 hour

Texting and MMM are still the two things killing me.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 03, 2020, 11:31:18 AM
I had an epic fail in one of my other MMM challenges today and REALLY (like thinking of all sorts of reasons why it would be the exception) want to check into the thread to do a little analysis and troubleshooting. But Saturday is my update day for that particular thread. By respecting my internet boundaries, my off-screen life is so much fuller and I still get to enjoy my time online (just not whenever the mood strikes). Best of both worlds.

I'm just going to write about it offline if I have time (after completing all my other responsibilities for the day that are important to me), then copy and paste to the thread Saturday. If I don't have time today, I'll do it when I next have downtime or just on Saturday, whichever comes first.

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 04, 2020, 08:16:41 PM
1 hour, 11 minutes surf time tonight.
On to reading.
I've read a book a week since the first of the year! I probably read 12 books all of last year. I'm so pleased!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 05, 2020, 09:05:19 PM
2 hours for tonight's surf session. I didn't surf Sunday because of a super bowl party, so technically I'm within my 3 hours + change bounds for the week... but the intention was to just do 1 hour tonight, so it feels a bit like a justification (I got sucked into a particularly juicy discussion on one of my FB forums and by the time I looked at the clock, I was 1 hr 20 minutes in- since I had gone over, I thought I might work it for what it's worth).
Anyway, next right thing: brush teeth and read a bit before lights out.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on February 07, 2020, 04:05:06 PM
Success this week:

Continue cold turkey from the three sites I quit two months ago.
4hr 59 minutes "distracting time" this week so far.  Little higher than this time last week but last week I ended up spending a few hours on Saturday, and so if I don't do that tomorrow this week will probably be the lowest yet.
Watched less than one hour of TV most nights. 

Struggles:

I did check MMM and personal capital a few times.  MMM was really just a quick check, and I looked and thought "I can live without this and wait until the weekend."  So that's good. 
I did spend a lot of time this week "researching" productivity apps and strategies.  This is part of my brain tricking myself.  When I started this journey quitting the political blogs two months ago, I found my self seized with the urge to start "researching" personal finance again.  I stopped that, and then now it's "researching" productivity.  Nothing wrong with that, but it should be channeled to the appropriate time slots (after dinner, but less than an hour before bed) and preferably high quality materials (a highly regarded book) plus active reflection, not random blog posts.  (Note that some of these blogs are classified as "productive" in Rescue Time, so my distracting totals are a bit skewed and I probably wasted more time than might be evident).

Goals for next week:

Same as before, except I've noticed now how much I literally pick up my phone.  To check e-mails.  To open the budgeting app.  A lot of times, honestly, I'm opening just to distract myself.  Or just because it feels nice, because it's my habit.  Last week it averaged 69 times per day!  Given that my screen time has gone down a lot, that's really high.  Some of this is to listen to music, or text my friends, or respond to a work e-mail or do my budget, so it can't go to zero because it's a useful tool, but just picking it up randomly every 15 minutes at work is a bad, distracting habit.  Now that long surf sessions have dwindled, I'm going to work to average under 35 pickups a day from now on.  I'm also just working on turning my phone off and putting it in its charger earlier in the night or for long stretches over the weekend. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on February 07, 2020, 04:10:43 PM
Quote from: Luz on February 03, 2020, 11:31:18 AM
I had an epic fail in one of my other MMM challenges today and REALLY (like thinking of all sorts of reasons why it would be the exception) want to check into the thread to do a little analysis and troubleshooting. But Saturday is my update day for that particular thread. By respecting my internet boundaries, my off-screen life is so much fuller and I still get to enjoy my time online (just not whenever the mood strikes). Best of both worlds.

I'm just going to write about it offline if I have time (after completing all my other responsibilities for the day that are important to me), then copy and paste to the thread Saturday. If I don't have time today, I'll do it when I next have downtime or just on Saturday, whichever comes first.

Great job!  I think using the offline journal for daily reflection, and then checking in here only occasionally for social interaction, is a great idea. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 07, 2020, 08:16:44 PM
I have 3 hours of kid-free time prior to bedtime. 1 hour when the toddler is playing in her room alone and 2 hours when she naps. Ideally, I shower in the morning then exercise and do household paperwork in the afternoon (check off to-do list items, make grocery list, budget, manage library borrowing, deal with emails...). Today instead of showering, I spent time researching apartments since we're moving soon. It's task-based, so that's fine. But even for task-based items, I'd like to keep them corralled into certain times of the day. Otherwise they take over time that should go to other things. So I'll check in here if I'm tempted to use the internet even for tasks before I shower, exercise, or get my paperwork done.

Check ins now include:
-urges to use the internet for task-based items before shower, exercise, or household paperwork
-urges to update challenges outside my project evenings and before shower, exercise, or household paperwork
-urges to surf when it's not time (outside of my 3 evening hours weekly)
-distractions when I'm using the internet for task-based items (I downloaded Pocket and am brainstorming how to train myself to divert distractions in its direction, thanks @blinx7)
-logging off from surfing when my time is up
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on February 08, 2020, 10:13:24 AM
Quote from: blinx7 on February 07, 2020, 04:05:06 PM
I did spend a lot of time this week "researching" productivity apps and strategies.  This is part of my brain tricking myself.  When I started this journey quitting the political blogs two months ago, I found my self seized with the urge to start "researching" personal finance again.  I stopped that, and then now it's "researching" productivity.  Nothing wrong with that, but it should be channeled to the appropriate time slots (after dinner, but less than an hour before bed) and preferably high quality materials (a highly regarded book) plus active reflection, not random blog posts.  (Note that some of these blogs are classified as "productive" in Rescue Time, so my distracting totals are a bit skewed and I probably wasted more time than might be evident).

Could you scratch the research itch with nonfiction books?
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 08, 2020, 02:44:38 PM
The benefits of this challenge have been a bit subtle and have taken awhile to build (and as someone mentioned earlier, I don't magically have gobs of extra time). But I'm really seeing the benefits in my relationships lately.

The first year of my daughter's life was pretty exhausting. So when we got her to bed in the evening, my husband and I would just kind've zone out to the internet to decompress (sitting next to each other on the couch!). But now we're taking ~30 minutes right after the toddler goes down to catch up before he does homework and I do my side hustle then various projects or surfing. It's made all the difference.

We also moved to a new city for grad school. Then I had my daughter right after graduating. So I hadn't put a lot of effort into getting to know people the three years we've been here. And it's been so lonely. But part of reducing my reliance on the internet has been about making an effort to get out there and build friendships, and it's slowly but surely paying off. I now have three or so social engagements every week on top of in-person meetings with my facebook groups twice a week. I doubt I would be as engaged during the week with people in real life if I was spending as much time on the internet as before this challenge. It's also taken a ton of initiative on my part, where before I approached it quite passively.

On a separate note, until this point, my purpose in this challenge has been to separate out surfing from task-based use of the internet. But I know some of you look at both productive and non-productive use as a whole. I think I'm ready for that next step. So this week I'd like to portion out my task-based use a bit better and establish a few parameters.

@blinx7  I'm right there with you on the whole research issue. The time slot solution has been the only thing that's been helpful so far since I can get lost researching a subject only to find myself back at the original question hours upon hours later (though reading nonfiction in the evening has been a great outlet, like @Tass mentioned, even if hasn't been about following my nose on the particular questions that pop into my mind). I'm interested to see what tricks you find helpful!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 09, 2020, 08:43:12 PM
1 hour, 12 minutes surf time. I want to keep scrolling, but I still have an hour each on Tuesday and Wednesday where I can pick up where I left off.
Time to read!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on February 11, 2020, 07:59:37 AM
Checking in just briefly for the moment. 

I had a screen time binge last night.  The ultimate source was a stressful morning meeting. 

I am learning how much of this is psychological.  When I am stressed, I seek an escape, and for me the escape is getting lost in the sea of the internet.   

I think when I am really stressed like that, I need to journal.  If I have thoughts just rattling around in my head, then it doesn't work to say "just drink some tea."  That's not how I roll.  Me and the teacup can be up to 2am with the same thoughts racing.  So I need a way to get the thoughts out of my brain and put them in a box so I can clear my head and return to them later.

One bright side is that I did stay away from the political blogs.  I looked at this site for a bit, and some financial news, and then watched a Youtube video about the Fifth Amendment.  I learned not to talk to the cops if I am arrested.  Good to know, but pointless.

It's ok, this is a journey and one thing I pride myself on is that I make mistakes and backslide a lot but I am determined.  So today is a new day and I am going to saddle up and keep on keeping on. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on February 11, 2020, 08:32:49 AM
Slightly late update. Last week (2/2-2/8 I logged 48.5 screen hours, 15 of which were on my phone.

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   5 hours   
News   4.5 hours   Unusual political week!
MMM forum   4.5 hours   
Email   4.5 hours   
Facebook   3.5 hoursTends to go up when I'm reading lots of news
Tax prep   2 hours   
Phone browser   1.5 hours   
Word + Excel   1.5 hours   
Twitter   1.5 hoursHow?? I don't HAVE twitter!
YNAB   1 hour   
Advice column   1 hour   

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 11, 2020, 12:56:49 PM
I got my paperwork done early and have the urge to update challenges. But the time to do that is after I've also done my exercise. So on to exercise. Hopefully the toddler will still be sleeping when I've finished. If not, there will be later opportunities.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 11, 2020, 08:22:41 PM
1 hour, 18 minutes surf time today.Tomorrow I'd like to begin wrapping up at the 1 hour mark (with 10 minutes margin time). Today I began wrapping up at 1 hour, 10 minutes (I'm working the system).

I'm super into my current book: "Working Stiff: Two Years, 262 Bodies, and the Making of a Medical Examiner". Time to read it.

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 12, 2020, 08:47:37 PM
1 hour, 43 minutes. I did start wrapping up at the 1 hour mark and not the 1 hour, 10 minute mark like yesterday. But I was in the middle of a MMM post... and spent some time thinking about it and the thread's subject. If going over becomes a theme next week, I'll address it then. If not, I guess it was just time I needed to wrap my head around that particular subject.

On to brushing teeth and reading my (oh so good) book.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 13, 2020, 06:51:06 AM
This morning I was going to look up some details from the book I'm reading while the toddler is otherwise occupied. But that will have to wait for the appropriate time (after getting my exercise, shower, and paperwork done).
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 13, 2020, 11:55:21 AM
I'm thoroughly inspired by the book I'm reading and was on my way to clicking a link related to the subject, but now's not the time. I have 2 hours of side hustle to do instead. I'll look at the link and dig into the other book-related research at the next appropriate time.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on February 15, 2020, 07:21:00 AM

Total clock in was more than last week but less than the week before.   This week (6 days so far):  8h 39 min distracting over 6 days.  (Last week was 7.5 hours for all seven days).  Rescue time still says "trending downwards" even though it's already higher than last week plus I have a day left, so I guess it uses a rolling average for that feature.  I did cut down phone pickups from an average of 69 a day to an average of 49. 

I had two lapses, Monday night when I was stressed, and then Friday night when I was allowed to surf, but then I ended up wasting time when I wasn't really having fun... more like mindless surfing because I "could" rather than something really enjoyable.  So that's another lesson, that just because I give myself the window does't mean I need to take it... it's just an option.

My goal for this week is to focus on the psychology.  The time I waste on the internet (as opposed to time that is genuinely useful) usually comes from something -- being stressed out and trying to escape or just release my tension through distraction, just initial resistance to starting an activity (putting kids to bed, going to bed) or plain old dopamine habit (hey let's see what crazy thing is on drudge report today).  Perhaps if I identify the motivation behind the seemingly counterproductive behavior, it will help me realize that it's not something I want in my life and it will be easier to resist. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on February 15, 2020, 09:16:45 AM
Quote from: Luz on February 08, 2020, 02:44:38 PM
The benefits of this challenge have been a bit subtle and have taken awhile to build (and as someone mentioned earlier, I don't magically have gobs of extra time). But I'm really seeing the benefits in my relationships lately.

The first year of my daughter's life was pretty exhausting. So when we got her to bed in the evening, my husband and I would just kind've zone out to the internet to decompress (sitting next to each other on the couch!). But now we're taking ~30 minutes right after the toddler goes down to catch up before he does homework and I do my side hustle then various projects or surfing. It's made all the difference.

We also moved to a new city for grad school. Then I had my daughter right after graduating. So I hadn't put a lot of effort into getting to know people the three years we've been here. And it's been so lonely. But part of reducing my reliance on the internet has been about making an effort to get out there and build friendships, and it's slowly but surely paying off. I now have three or so social engagements every week on top of in-person meetings with my facebook groups twice a week. I doubt I would be as engaged during the week with people in real life if I was spending as much time on the internet as before this challenge. It's also taken a ton of initiative on my part, where before I approached it quite passively.

On a separate note, until this point, my purpose in this challenge has been to separate out surfing from task-based use of the internet. But I know some of you look at both productive and non-productive use as a whole. I think I'm ready for that next step. So this week I'd like to portion out my task-based use a bit better and establish a few parameters.

@blinx7  I'm right there with you on the whole research issue. The time slot solution has been the only thing that's been helpful so far since I can get lost researching a subject only to find myself back at the original question hours upon hours later (though reading nonfiction in the evening has been a great outlet, like @Tass mentioned, even if hasn't been about following my nose on the particular questions that pop into my mind). I'm interested to see what tricks you find helpful!

This is great!  I've started to see that I am doing more social engagements now, because I resisted playing on the internet and instead used the time to set up plans for the future. Then when I go out there's no internet then either.  So it's been win-win. 

Great job making sure to maintain a social life with little kids.  I think a lot of people just give up and that's not good for the long run.  What facebook groups are in you in?

The trick I am trying to use for internet research is I keep notes in my "Google Keep" app on my phone and if I have an urge to research something, I write it down there.  (I keep a separate to-do-list, but I don't keep random internet urges on there, because the Google Keep list is really more like brainstorming potentially useful things.)

Then later, at the appropriate time (work done, kids in bed, not too late) I can crack open the Google Keep and if I really am inspired to research something, I can do it.  And if in hindsight I realize I don't care and it was just an excuse to play on the internet, I just delete it. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 15, 2020, 08:09:26 PM
1 hour, 19 minutes of surf-time. Over my 10 minute wrap-up mark, but better than the last few times. Tuesday I'll try to focus on the fact that I can surf another hour Wednesday. And also on getting to read right after.

On to a project, then reading.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 16, 2020, 07:47:18 PM
I really want to surf tonight, but it's not time. I surfed Friday instead of studying Spanish because my vocab list was in the sleeping toddler's room. And today I could talk myself into surfing again because I have 2 more surf days this week (and I'm tired and unmotivated). But I need to get my vocab going early in the week so I have enough reviewing time that it stays in my head before the next weekly vocab list is due.

I'm also starting to get more tired with the pregnancy. The other day I skipped my side hustle because I didn't feel like doing it, and did projects instead. It'd be easy to start talking myself into doing the easy things first and then blowing off the things that require more effort, as they stack up later in the week or day. But I don't want to lose ground on my gauntlet challenges. So I'll focus on keeping my structure in place no matter how I feel and reinforce the fact that once I get going on a task, I'm good. It's usually just hard the first 2 minutes as I fire things up.

So on to my Spanish vocab.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 18, 2020, 12:55:20 PM
I did my vocab the other night after checking in and can confirm that it required little effort after I got started. I'd like to reinforce the fact that getting over the motivation/procrastination hump only takes a minute or two.  And it was such a great feeling to get first-things done first.

I want to research a career decision I've been mulling over the past week. I don't know if it's a personality thing, but I'll often have an idea for something I'd like to pursue, then I work my way backwards spelling things out in the most minute detail. After I've done my analysis, I can see more clearly if the original idea is something I truly want to accomplish, given the effort involved (strangely, I make my final decisions based more on gut-feeling, though hopefully my gut is more well-informed after this process). For that reason, once an idea strikes, it's hard for me to just let it be until I've broken it down, step-by-step. And I usually put everything else in my life aside until the detailing is complete. But I'm trying to change that here and channel the analysis into a time where it doesn't affect other areas of my life.

Next right thing: paperwork and exercise. I'm surfing tonight and can look up a few details then. There's also tomorrow if I get my stuff done before the toddler wakes from her nap. Overall, I will likely just need to change how I do my analyses. Maybe instead of marathon sessions, I'll just have to chip away at the details bit by bit so it doesn't negatively affect the rest of my life. Most of my ideas are long-term ones anyway and time is on my side.

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 18, 2020, 08:33:03 PM
1 hour, 20 minutes for my surf time tonight. I usually just scroll. But lately I've been posting comments (in my different forums) which takes longer to wrap up. Maybe if I'm going to comment, I'll type out a few thoughts on a sticky to post during the next session if needed. That way my surf time is more focused on scrolling and I feel less time pressure. We'll see how that works tomorrow.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 19, 2020, 08:33:37 PM
1 hour, 15 minutes surf time tonight.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 22, 2020, 12:24:38 PM
I updated a few challenges after finishing my paperwork... but I still have yet to exercise, and I prefer to save updates until that's done.

I feel a bit tired from going to bed late last night and also feel the need to get focused and organized. Lately my mind has been full of ideas and random details that I haven't had time to process. If I were to take time to process things, it feels like some other important area of my life would get backed up. It's probably best to just chip away at extra stuff like this as time allows. First things first always pays off and I'll just have to trust that I'll find extra time to empty my brain that's not at the expense of everything else.

So on to exercise.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on February 22, 2020, 04:28:00 PM
I've had a very weird two weeks and I don't think I'm going to bother reporting my usage for them. I did want to own up that I relaxed several restrictions while I was traveling with a friend, and since then I've seen big backsliding, especially in my phone usage. It's been long enough that the reasons I chose to set this challenge are fading in vibrancy, and I'm tempted to just relax into an easier routine.

Here are several things I have lately avoided recommitting to:

Life has felt very full lately (ETA: in a stressful way!). That makes it more tempting stuffing the cracks with mindless internet; oddly, a precondition of mental space makes it much easier to prioritize more mental space.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 24, 2020, 12:32:11 PM
I'm doing my side hustle and started looking up unrelated information online. That can wait until another time (though I can jot down what it is I'd like to look into).
For now: finish my work.

Also, I surfed yesterday and Friday, 1 hour 8 minutes each.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 27, 2020, 01:36:14 PM
1 hour, 18 minutes surf time on Monday.
I just accidentally erased the text of my post, but I'll summarize it anyway. I sat down to do a few details in preparation for my trip this weekend (and to do my check in on this thread). And decided to check on what's happening with air travel and the coronavirus. But that took forever and I ended up seeing that someone had posted about the virus on MMM. And since I went to that thread, I thought "why not just click around? So that was my cue to check in here.

I'll be gone 3 weeks and will try to keep my showering, work, exercise, paperwork and internet usage habits plodding along as normal. The temptation, when I'm in a new space or doing a routine outside of my normal one, is to just blow off my good habits and do whatever. Especially during the 1-2 days before and after I travel (which will be 3 flights taking all day). I've already laxed on work and exercise now that my trip is nearing. So my challenge is to stay the course as best I can and be flexible about it without shrugging it off completely. I think checking in here as usual will help.

Also, during my last trip home, I spent so much time on the internet, because there were no computer controls. That's when I realized my internet use was becoming a problem. This trip, I'd like to take my 3 hours per week of surfing, and then enjoy my family's company. I don't get to see them as often as I'd like.

Next right thing: check on the coronavirus thread for final input (but otherwise save it for surf sessions), call my OB about air travel plans, cook up the rest of the food in the fridge, make a packing/detail list, and finish my book so I can get it back to the library. Also, do my work, writing meditation, post my spanish vocab, and chat with my husband this evening.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on February 28, 2020, 12:53:11 PM
I stayed the course yesterday, which feels awesome. But today when I sat down to do my writing meditation then exercise, I got distracted. I sent an acquaintance a quick Facebook message beforehand, which is fine because it was about reaching out and connecting. But then I started clicking around the internet on links according to the subject of our conversation. And there went the time.

So I'm coming back to the next right thing: finish my writing meditation and sneak in some stretching this evening (even for 5 minutes).
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 01, 2020, 10:55:41 PM
Took my surf time tonight and did 1 hr, 40 minutes. I scrolled through the sites I wanted to see, so I may try to read for downtime the rest of the week and see how that goes (with the idea to reduce my surf nights to 2 days a week when I'm back in my normal routine).

I'm on vacation and am trying to be consistent with my regular habits. The biggest barrier is all or nothing thinking. Due to the different rhythm on vacation, I don't get to everything everyday (work, exercise, paperwork, projects etc). But I'm certainly able to regularly do a few productive things, as long as I don't put pressure on myself to get it all done. In the past, my catalyst for doing nothing when falling short of the everything was zoning out on the internet. It really helps not to have that option.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on March 02, 2020, 04:41:44 PM
I'm having a hard time getting back into the swing of things. I wanted to avoid posting my numbers again, but the title here is to "own up," not just "show off when you're doing well." I'm ready for whatever facepunches I've earned.

Last week (2/23-2/29) I logged 54 screen hours, 17.5 of which were on my phone.

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   8 hours   
MMM forum   7.5 hours   
News   5 hours
Facebook   2.5 hours
Tumblr   2 hoursSupposedly I quit this service!
Twitter   1.5 hoursI don't even HAVE a twitter
YNAB   1.5 hours
Advice column   1.5 hours   
Youtube   1 hour   
Phone browser   1 hour   

Goal: I need to limit the time I spend surfing at work. I am not very motivated to do this, but it must be done.

Strategy: Emphasize working from my lab-desk away from my computer. Pick up a new podcast to keep me interested in labwork.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Boofinator on March 03, 2020, 07:09:39 AM
Quote from: Tass on March 02, 2020, 04:41:44 PM
Goal: I need to limit the time I spend surfing at work. I am not very motivated to do this, but it must be done.

This is the hardest part for me. Damn the invention of the internet!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on March 03, 2020, 08:11:46 AM
I get stuck in a spiral. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do; I turn to the internet for a break from that anxious feeling; I get distracted and accomplish nothing; I am more overwhelmed.

Also social media is intentionally addictive, etc.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 04, 2020, 03:02:58 PM
Quote from: Tass on March 03, 2020, 08:11:46 AM
I get stuck in a spiral. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do; I turn to the internet for a break from that anxious feeling; I get distracted and accomplish nothing; I am more overwhelmed.

Also social media is intentionally addictive, etc.

I know that spiral too well. Anything besides the internet that helps with that anxious feeling? I think you've likely mentioned it before, but what does an ideal week of internet use look like for you?

A few things have come up on my vacation. First, I didn't bring my laptop because it crashed and I'm just using my parent's desktop for work, projects, and my surf nights. A few times I've looked up a piece of information on my phone while other family members have used the desktop. I prefer to keep my phone to just text/talk/camera and music/podcasts. I will try to write down my search item on paper and use the desktop for it when it's free. To keep that separation. I find phone use to be so much more distracting because it's mobile.

I also get way more texts here (mostly from extended family members). I don't like texting because my attention is split from the task at hand when I'm getting back to people all the time. So I think I'll use the suggestion from "Digital Minimalism" and hold texting hours. I'll let people know that I check my texts midday during nap time. If something requires my attention during off-hours, they can call me. I'll try to check my phone only during that slot of time and report back here how it goes.

Thirdly, the home page on my parent's desktop is Business Insider, which often has juicy headlines. I definitely am pulled to linger after I've logged off my sites, because the headlines grab my attention. So far I haven't clicked on any (though it's fine to do so during my surf time). I'll continue to check in here if I am compelled to.

Finally, I'm considering reducing my weekly surf hours. Instead of looking to cut back, I'm thinking about what I'd like to add. I have 2 nights a week where I do projects, 2 nights where I'm interacting with people, and 3 when I surf. I'd like to try adding in a night where I watch Oscar-winning movies or listen to podcasts while doing something creative. My surfing the last four months has been almost entirely on MMM or my Facebook group forums (crowd-sourcing sites related to topics I'm interested in is what I identified in my digital declutter as having the most value). If I'm just scrolling through, it takes about 1-2 hours to catch up. If I comment, it takes a bit longer. I think I could satisfy my scrolling with 2 nights and add in a hobby night. So I'll try 2 nights projects, 2 nights social, 2 nights surfing and 1 night hobbies. Ideally it would be 1 night surfing, 1 night hobbies, and 1 night reading since my MMM reading challenge requires a bit more time than the 30-45 minutes I do before bed. But having 2 surf nights helps me with logging off, since I can remind myself that I can pick up from where I left off the day before.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 04, 2020, 03:21:11 PM
Quote from: LWYRUP on February 15, 2020, 09:16:45 AM
Quote from: Luz on February 08, 2020, 02:44:38 PM
The benefits of this challenge have been a bit subtle and have taken awhile to build (and as someone mentioned earlier, I don't magically have gobs of extra time). But I'm really seeing the benefits in my relationships lately.

The first year of my daughter's life was pretty exhausting. So when we got her to bed in the evening, my husband and I would just kind've zone out to the internet to decompress (sitting next to each other on the couch!). But now we're taking ~30 minutes right after the toddler goes down to catch up before he does homework and I do my side hustle then various projects or surfing. It's made all the difference.

We also moved to a new city for grad school. Then I had my daughter right after graduating. So I hadn't put a lot of effort into getting to know people the three years we've been here. And it's been so lonely. But part of reducing my reliance on the internet has been about making an effort to get out there and build friendships, and it's slowly but surely paying off. I now have three or so social engagements every week on top of in-person meetings with my facebook groups twice a week. I doubt I would be as engaged during the week with people in real life if I was spending as much time on the internet as before this challenge. It's also taken a ton of initiative on my part, where before I approached it quite passively.

On a separate note, until this point, my purpose in this challenge has been to separate out surfing from task-based use of the internet. But I know some of you look at both productive and non-productive use as a whole. I think I'm ready for that next step. So this week I'd like to portion out my task-based use a bit better and establish a few parameters.

@blinx7  I'm right there with you on the whole research issue. The time slot solution has been the only thing that's been helpful so far since I can get lost researching a subject only to find myself back at the original question hours upon hours later (though reading nonfiction in the evening has been a great outlet, like @Tass mentioned, even if hasn't been about following my nose on the particular questions that pop into my mind). I'm interested to see what tricks you find helpful!

This is great!  I've started to see that I am doing more social engagements now, because I resisted playing on the internet and instead used the time to set up plans for the future. Then when I go out there's no internet then either.  So it's been win-win. 

Great job making sure to maintain a social life with little kids.  I think a lot of people just give up and that's not good for the long run.  What facebook groups are in you in?

The trick I am trying to use for internet research is I keep notes in my "Google Keep" app on my phone and if I have an urge to research something, I write it down there.  (I keep a separate to-do-list, but I don't keep random internet urges on there, because the Google Keep list is really more like brainstorming potentially useful things.)

Then later, at the appropriate time (work done, kids in bed, not too late) I can crack open the Google Keep and if I really am inspired to research something, I can do it.  And if in hindsight I realize I don't care and it was just an excuse to play on the internet, I just delete it.

Ooh, I really like the idea of having a brainstorming list (including the deleted items). I'll have to try that.
My in-person Facebook groups are a support group and a parent group. Aside from my support group and a few friends I see in the evenings, my social life mainly revolves around raising kids (other parents and family groups) . It's better than nothing, but I'm hoping to add in more of my own interests as they get older (I have my eye on a book club and a sports league).
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on March 04, 2020, 03:41:13 PM
Quote from: Luz on March 04, 2020, 03:02:58 PM
Quote from: Tass on March 03, 2020, 08:11:46 AM
I get stuck in a spiral. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do; I turn to the internet for a break from that anxious feeling; I get distracted and accomplish nothing; I am more overwhelmed.

Also social media is intentionally addictive, etc.

I know that spiral too well. Anything besides the internet that helps with that anxious feeling? I think you've likely mentioned it before, but what does an ideal week of internet use look like for you?

I mean, not being on the internet at all definitely decreases that anxious feeling. But once I slip, I have to wean myself all the way off again. It's just another one of those "put your overall health ahead of your immediate wants" challenges.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 05, 2020, 03:29:00 PM
Today the toddler is napping and I should be exercising, but I started with paperwork and got sucked in. I have a few big paperwork projects to complete that I would much rather do in a huge marathon weekend. But now that I have kids, my preferred marathon-mode doesn't work. So I have to accept chipping away at projects in 30-60 minute chunks, rather than just sitting down with it until it's done. Because otherwise I wouldn't fit in exercise or all my other important things. It annoys me that I can't just turn off the rest of my life and focus on what I want to. But in the end, I know I'm happier when I attend to all the various areas of my life rather than focus on one thing at the expense of everything else.
So on to exercise and slowly chipping away at all my projects as time allows.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 06, 2020, 12:16:59 AM
Took my surf time tonight... 2.5 hours! I reduced my surf time from 3 days to 2 because I want to fit other things into my evenings. But I think I kind've blew off the 1 hour mark as a result tonight. Maybe 3 surf days is still my sweet spot. I'll think it through this week and see if I can come up with a strategy for surfing less days that still respects my time limit.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 06, 2020, 11:07:24 PM
I'm toying with the idea of having no surf sessions at all during the week.

95% of my surf time is spent on Facebook forums and MMM. I've lately felt that although both are invaluable resources for crowdsourcing specific questions and holding myself accountable via the gauntlet challenges, they've not been a valuable use of time in terms of just aimlessly scrolling through. I don't want to let them go completely, but I'm questioning whether or not scrolling is a necessary part of my life. It makes me wonder if I can use those sites for more task-based purposes (update challenges, ask specific questions) and use a few of my surf evenings for books and other media (magazines, newspapers, music, podcasts, creative projects). I think those pursuits will be more relaxing and fulfilling than surfing. Though they require a bit more effort to get started.

We're also adding a new baby to the family in a few months, should all go well, and I will have a lot less free time during the day. I hope to coordinate naps/playtime enough (after the newborn period) so I get to my shower and have time to exercise. Otherwise, I'll have to move anything else that needs my attention to the evening. I don't think I'll have time to surf 3 nights a week if I want to stay on top of my other things.

The new approach would look something like this:
-downtime during the day: respond to texts/make arrangements with people & groups on Facebook after I've showered/exercised & toddler is still napping
-downtime during the evening: catch up with my partner/do my side hustle/read, then take 1 night each for Spanish, projects, hobbies, social outing, more reading, paperwork, and task-based internet time (update MMM challenges-write it down on paper throughout the week, post questions/research specific topics on Facebook/MMM/career forums, process through my Google Keep/Pocket lists, and read my blog).

Not scrolling would mean that I potentially miss out on interesting topics in MMM and my Facebook forums. My forums also provide a bit of community for me since they are groups of like-minded people and it's through scrolling that I catch up with all that's happening. But I may be able to replace the interest part with other media and the community part with reaching out to people in real life and joining other groups if needed. Also, the Facebook and MMM communities are really large, so it's not really a personal enough experience to keep it on just for the sense of community. I'll also see about looking at Facebook friend's profiles. I haven't done it in months, but I hide everything from my feed, so scrolling through people's profiles every so often is the only way I get updates on what they've been up to. I'll have to revisit that.

Check ins now include:
-urges to surf or scroll aimlessly
-distractions when I'm using the internet for task-based items during the day (Spanish vocab list and recipes, looking up directions/specific info)
[funnel distractions to Pocket and research/ideas to Google Keep]
-urges to check texts and make Facebook arrangements before I've both showered and exercised and after the toddler wakes up.
-urges to use the internet for challenge updates, forum posts and research on specific topics, processing through my Keep and Pocket lists, and reading my blog outside my 1 evening a week
-logging off from internet use when my time is up (my aim is to be logged off at the 1 hour 15 min mark)

I'm going to experiment with it for a few weeks to see what barriers come up.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on March 07, 2020, 05:39:47 PM
Quit for a while and see if you even miss it after a few days! Don't let fear of missing out blind you to the possibilities of getting that time back!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on March 08, 2020, 12:58:09 PM
Dangit. Lost my post. Trying again.

ETA: I decided I don't care enough to track down all the numbers a second time. I had a very similar week to last week, but I feel I'm starting to get my feet under me again mentally. This week, I want to celebrate and build on my little successes. I've logged out of social media on my work laptop. I've also checked out Digital Minimalism for a reread to remind me why I think this matters.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 08, 2020, 03:16:10 PM
Toddler is napping and it's kind've a plan B vacation day. Tempting to just blow everything off.  Also on my mind lately is relocating after my partner's done with school in a few years. Something that I could lose myself for days in researching. I really want to look up different locations right now. But I'm going to exercise instead and funnel that to my Google Keep brainstorming list, to revisit when it's my task-based internet night. I've also put a few articles into my Pocket collection from the headline-rich homepage on my parent's computer. Both resources are a great way to direct those things into their appropriate place. Thanks, @LWYRUP. So much easier for me to tell myself that I can revisit them later, than to try to avoid them altogether.

I think I'll put FOMO on my Google Keep list too. I'm interested to read about how to better navigate it.
On to squats!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 09, 2020, 12:30:01 AM
Took my task-based internet night tonight. 1 hour 15 minutes.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 10, 2020, 10:17:31 PM
I have double the amount of side hustle to get done tonight. Was toying with just blowing it off and dinking around on the internet. Or even doing off-line things. Anything but doing the work. I sat down to get started, and it took about 2 minutes for tug towards avoidance to dissipate. Really helpful to remember that once I've started, I'm good. And it's going to feel great to get it done.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 11, 2020, 03:31:35 PM
Lacking motivation again. I'd rather scroll through random links than exercise. That's my cue to check in here. All I have to do is make it past that 2 minute hump and I can ride inertia the rest of the way.
Next right thing: start warming up (and enjoy having a bit of time to think)
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Staunch Aim on March 11, 2020, 09:31:45 PM
@Luz - You're killing it!  Nice work

This thread nudged me to finally take action to limit my internet usage.  I used leechblock and also locked down my browser extensions so I can't just deactivate it (easily).  We'll see how this goes.





Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 11, 2020, 11:08:27 PM
Welcome, @Staunch Aim!
Since starting the challenge, I've had periods without many urges at all.
This week, I've had so many urges. Ugh. I'm wanting to surf/check some random detail at least once a day. But I suppose it doesn't matter how many urges there are, just what I do with them. So here I am once again checking in. I have a flight home through Seattle next week and am wanting to see all the updates for air travel and the Coronavirus, (and could easily justify it as the exception) but it can wait until my internet night.

On a side note, I read an interesting article about discipline and inspiration. The author talked about living her life based on following inspiration as it strikes, life balance be damned. It made me think about how much I'd love to just drop everything when I'm inspired, in order to follow an idea to its end point (usually with the help of the internet). And how I've done that often in the past, with negative results. I'm so much more satisfied with my life when I stick to the task at hand (exercise, sleep, showering, working, doing the dishes, connecting with my partner and friends, being present for my kid, etc) and direct my inspiration to a specific slot. It takes a lot of discipline to wait until it's the appropriate time, but the other areas of my life have really benefited. And I don't think my inspiration has suffered much. It might peter out a bit before I'm able to attend to it. But I think the worthwhile ideas persist despite the limitations. The article was a good reminder why I'm attempting to live a more principled life rather than follow whatever whim I have in the moment.

On that note: time to side hustle, then read!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 13, 2020, 09:37:16 PM
I'm on my 2nd week of visiting family and have had a number of urges to blow off my responsibilities and good habits. I think partly from my tendency towards all or nothing thinking ("if I can't get in a full exercise session (which has been challenging with all the people and activities), I might as well not do it at all"). Likely also because I'm an introvert and hanging out with people for much of the day requires me to recharge more often than usual (and when I think "recharge" I still gravitate towards zoning out rather than effortful but more satisfying things -like reading or renting a good movie).
I think tonight I will alternate (20 minutes each) reading magazines with doing some side hustle, getting in a little exercise, reading, doing some house paperwork, and jotting down a few ideas.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 14, 2020, 03:02:25 PM
Yay! Success last night.
But I once again have absolutely no motivation to do self care/anything productive today. Just want to zone out. I'll likely be checking in here a lot the next week until I'm on my normal rhythm again. It'd be so easy to justify internet use as the exception right now (I mean, everything's the exception on vacation, right?). But though I'm fine with flexibility, I'm not doing exceptions.

Next right thing: 30 minutes side hustle
Later: shortened exercise session since I'll be pulling sleds full of kids up hills this afternoon, read to the toddler/review my Spanish words, and change out of my PJs/brush my teeth!
Tonight: 2 hours of side hustle to catch up for the week then read
Goal for next week: get my basics done first and then laze away the day after (not the other way around like much of this week, which has put me in catch-up mode)
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on March 15, 2020, 04:03:00 PM
Changes in routine are always an easy time to falter on good habits. I'm going to try to make social distancing an opportunity to recommit to internet restrictions instead. It's not like I NEED second by second updates on the pandemic. I just reread Digital Minimalism, which was a good reminder that the blocks I've set up are not arbitrary rules but strategies toward an overall attitude I want to cultivate.

That said, this week was not my best. I logged 61 screen hours, 20.5 of which were on my phone.

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   10.5 hours   
MMM forum   9 hours   
News   7 hours
Email   5.5 hours
Phone browser   3 hours   
Facebook   2 hours
Slack   2 hours(counts as social media)
Twitter   1.5 hours
YNAB   1 hour
Advice column   1 hour   

Goal: Hmm. I have generally left items under 1 hour a week off this list. I'd like to shorten the list by keeping many of the the items under 45 minutes/week (over 45 gets rounded up to 1 hour).

With working from home, I don't expect my total screen time to decrease, but I'd still like to be working toward good habits.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 15, 2020, 11:03:23 PM
Good idea to reread Digital Minimalism! It seems like a post-detox/challenge reread would bring quite a bit of perspective to the original message. Maybe I'll have to do that 6 months in.

Today during nap time I looked at cities and towns around the US instead of doing my exercise. I've been in my hometown visiting family for 2 weeks and it's been great in many ways but also interpersonally and emotionally challenging. I lived in my tiny hometown off and on (with stints in college and Mexico) throughout my twenties. Moving away from home and starting from 0 when I turned 30 was one of the most psychologically stressful things I've done.
I've always thought that my husband and I would end up back in my hometown after we were better established in our fields. But we've been in our new city nearly 4 years, and on this trip home, I realized that the homesickness I felt was nostalgia for my childhood more so than pining away for the specific location and community (I don't recognize many of the people now). I also love my family dearly (they all live in my hometown), but having a bit of physical distance has actually been pretty great for my relationships. I can stay in touch but am not too involved, if you know what I mean. And distance gives my husband and I a lot of freedom from other's opinions on the life/family we're building.
So that relates to the internet because I've wanted to just check out for much of the trip. There's been little downtime, little structure, lots of interesting relationship dynamics, and a growing sense that I'm moving on to a different phase in my life (which is exciting and super daunting all at the same time). Aside from today, however, I've stayed the course (off the internet) despite everything. Which is a big deal for me. My tendency is to numb out/check out when my mind or emotions are at capacity, but little by little I'm learning to just address things head on and process everything through rather than try to shut off.

Next right thing: do my exercise then read
Next right thing in terms of the home search: It's a huge life change, but not urgent in the least (we have 3-5 years more in our current city). I made a list of my priorities and my husband is working on his. During my internet or project evenings over the upcoming months, we'll research locations and finalize a list of the top 10 potential places for us to consider. Whenever I have the urge to do the research and it's not the appropriate time, I'll check in here and redirect.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on March 16, 2020, 08:42:26 PM
I stayed off all day, as I was supposed to, and have spent several hours catching up in the evening. I think I need to cull what I catch up on.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 17, 2020, 04:14:37 AM
Yeah, it's 2am and I've spent the last 6 hours looking at all things Coronavirus.
Time for bed.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 17, 2020, 11:46:37 PM
I spent last night/off and on today reading about the coronavirus instead of doing my work, exercise, reading etc. I wanted to formulate a plan going into the next few months (job loss? lock down? falling ill?) and needed more background information.
My goal is to now try to the best of my ability to do my daily responsibilities, with my normal internet approach in play. I will check one curated content source for updates during nap time, as I do my text and Facebook messages. I'll try to check in here when I want to veer away from those limits.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 22, 2020, 08:16:28 AM
Today I started my side hustle with checking my email.... and got distracted with news updates. Updates will have to wait until the toddler naps and I've done my exercise. It's hard to keep updates to 1x/daily because both my husband and I may very well lose our jobs in the next few weeks and it also took us nearly 8 hours to find our essentials at stores last week. But we're formulating a number of plan B's and updating ourselves everyday on the crisis in order to follow the guidelines. Otherwise, it's important to keep moving forward as much as possible.
Next right things: do my side hustle, read to the toddler, take a shower, make some bread and soup, exercise, call my family, and take inventory of the items we still need.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on March 22, 2020, 12:01:50 PM
Working from home means my work laptop vs home desktop system isn't flying. Instead, I'm using my laptop full time, but distractions (including the news) are blocked except between the hours of 5 and 8 PM. This forces me to prioritize. I also block phone notifications from 9-11am and 12-5pm on workdays. It seems to be making a difference so far - still high total usage, but less distracting usage. Sunday is my free day, though. :)

This week (3/15-3/21) I logged 57.5 screen hours, 17 of which were on my phone.

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   10 hours   Similar to last week
MS Office   8 hours   
Email   6 hours   Similar to last week
News   4.5 hoursSimilar to last week
MMM forum   2.5 hours   Huge decrease!
Facebook   2.5 hoursSimilar to last week
Slack   1.5 hoursOnly blocked partway through the week - should decrease
Youtube   1.5 hoursDecided not to block this one for now, but will keep a close eye on it
Cal Newport's blog   1 hour   

Goal: Rather than focus on decreasing these numbers, I'd like to increase my time spent on non-work goals (though not at the expense of work ones). Self-isolation seems like a great opportunity to teach myself some new things, and I don't want to squander it. So my goal is to report next week on what new project I've worked on.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 22, 2020, 02:03:02 PM
I did my news updates while the toddler napped. But ended up spending the entire time on updates and didn't get to my exercise. My ultimate goal is to keep updates to nap time. But I'd also like to exercise. So I will try to exercise first tomorrow.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 26, 2020, 10:09:45 PM
The last two weeks have been hit or miss as far as the internet is concerned. It's not been a free-for-all, but still much looser than I'd like. I think I'm ready to get back to my normal check-ins (and move forward with my other MMM challenges as well) now that I feel a bit more oriented to what's unfolding with the pandemic.

So... as mentioned previously, I will check in on texts, facebook messages, and pandemic updates while the toddler naps and after I've exercised. Once she's awake, my time is up. I'll have to wait until the next day's nap to read more.
After she's in bed, my evenings will be: Spanish study, projects, hobby, reading, social (I'm bringing back my facebook groups for the time being since I'm not seeing friends in person), paperwork, and internet (process pocket and google keep, update MMM challenges, and research topics/post questions to my forums).

Anything outside these parameters will be cause for a check-in.
Next right thing: finalize my tax forms and brush my teeth
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on March 27, 2020, 12:32:03 PM
I almost convinced myself to check facebook and the news before my exercise. But then remembered the drill: check in here with urges and redirect. So on to first things first.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on March 29, 2020, 11:27:02 AM
Quote from: Tass on March 22, 2020, 12:01:50 PM
Goal: Rather than focus on decreasing these numbers, I'd like to increase my time spent on non-work goals (though not at the expense of work ones). Self-isolation seems like a great opportunity to teach myself some new things, and I don't want to squander it. So my goal is to report next week on what new project I've worked on.

Ah, crap. Mostly this week I just accumulated new project ideas, without actually making progress on much. I planted some seeds in pots and I continued to cook from scratch all week. Next week I'm going to set myself the same goal and try to have more to show for it.

This week (3/15-3/21) I logged 49.5 screen hours, 13 of which were on my phone. (Both big decreases!)

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   9.5 hours   Similar to last week
Email + Zoom   5 hours   
Tumblr + fan wiki   5 hoursBig increase, but likely to be a one-time thing
News   3.5 hoursSlight decrease
Facebook   2 hoursSlight decrease
Food   2 hours
MMM forum   1.5 hours   Decrease!
YNAB   1.5 hours   
Youtube   1.5 hoursSimilar to last week

I think my strategy is working overall! I'm seeing fewer things make the cut, and my only big increase this week mostly took place within allowed hours.

As an aside, I use an extension to clean up Youtube's interface, removing recommended videos from the sidebar. This makes it much easier to watch what I came for and leave, instead of getting sucked in. https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/df-tube-distraction-free/mjdepdfccjgcndkmemponafgioodelna?hl=en (https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/df-tube-distraction-free/mjdepdfccjgcndkmemponafgioodelna?hl=en)
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 01, 2020, 02:11:23 PM
The last two weeks have not been great internet-wise. I'll post later with a full update. For now: on to exercise!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 01, 2020, 06:22:00 PM
Since that 6 hour Coronavirus surf session 2 weeks ago, I've mostly kept my news updates and research to nap time (though it did spill over 2 or 3 days because my husband is home to watch the toddler) and a few evenings here and there (maybe 3?). But I'm still online more than I'd like to be, especially now that the new normal is becoming routine.

The last two weeks have been hectic (traveling home from out-of-state, dealing with job instability, preparing for the baby ahead of time, finishing up a tax project with my side hustle, and watching things unfold nationally/globally) and I've felt a need to digest everything (I read the news, research specific things that come up, and look over the discussion on MMM).

But we've figured out our multiple plan B's, we're ready for the baby, my side hustle is done for the next few months, and the US seems to have better insight/more of a strategy than a few weeks ago. I think it's time to get back to a more normal rhythm.

So nap time will be (in this order):
Exercise
One household detail
Check text and facebook messages
Look over news updates (but not research anything or look at MMM discussion)

(Once the toddler is up, it's time to put my computer away. If I want to keep going, I'll check in here).

My evenings are for:
-Spanish
-Projects
-Hobbies (magazines, newspaper, music, podcasts, something creative)
-Household papers
-Reading
-Non-surfing internet (update MMM challenges, go through pocket/google keep, read my blogs, and ask specific questions to my forums + read MMM updates on Coronavirus after I've done the previous)
-Surfing internet (Facebook groups in place of going out with friends due to distancing).

I haven't read in 2 weeks and will start that up again, which helps with turning off the internet an hour before bed (sad that the library doesn't do delivery but I do have an old textbook that I've been meaning to read).

Instead of being social in the afternoons or surfing while my partner watches the toddler (which is so tempting), we're:
-Cooking from scratch to slash our grocery budget (yogurt, bread, hummus, peanut butter) - the toddler is loving this
-Reading extra or breaking out the art supplies
-Going for extra walks
-Spreading out our chores over the whole week so they feel super easy

During unexpected pockets of downtime I will: read or do hobbies/projects/paperwork

I'll probably be checking in quite a bit here over the next few weeks with a lot of justifications for why internet use is the exception. Glad to have a few months of reasonable success under my belt to know that they will decrease with time.




Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: cpa cat on April 02, 2020, 08:31:23 AM
Well, I'm back to update.

COVID news totally set me back on my good internet habits.

Not only am I checking various news sites for COVID pandemic updates, I went all-in on checking Facebook every day. I check in on every business site I know for legislation updates (I am bombarded with questions from clients any time the President mentions something business or tax related in a press conference). I check local Facebook groups for information on where to find basic household supplies. There's also a private Facebook group for my gym where the instructors will be doing live classes, so checking that for updates and scheduling.

I'm totally derailed.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on April 02, 2020, 07:02:04 PM
My strategy has been restricting most internet surfing to 3 hours a day in the evening. I recommend something like that. For the most part, you know what you need to know; no day's news is so urgent you need to know it immediately.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: GuitarStv on April 03, 2020, 12:04:23 PM
Quote from: Tass on April 02, 2020, 07:02:04 PM
My strategy has been restricting most internet surfing to 3 hours a day in the evening. I recommend something like that. For the most part, you know what you need to know; no day's news is so urgent you need to know it immediately.

Eh . . .

The news that our libraries were going to close until who knows when was received by my wife three hours before they were shutting their doors.  Thanks to that and some quick panic borrowing we still have new books to read three weeks in.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on April 03, 2020, 07:22:02 PM
I can't tell if that's arguing my restrictions are unnecessary or too lenient. Or is it just a non sequitur?
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 03, 2020, 10:12:44 PM
I think I'm back in action despite everything that's going on. I had unexpected downtime yesterday and did projects instead of surfed. This evening I studied Spanish even though I really wanted to blow it off and surf instead. It took all of 2 minutes to get into it and I have a lovely sense of satisfaction for having done it. I think I just needed new parameters for the new situation (especially one filled with so much uncertainty).

@GuitarStv, I'm so jealous that your family was able to load up on books! I would take books over TP any day. If I were to give myself unlimited time to stay up on everything that's happening, however, I would probably just while away every free moment on the internet and the books would remain untouched. For that reason, I'm ok with missing out on opportunities/being a day late to hear breaking news (and sheesh, I barely scroll down my daily news feed before a notification pops up that there's a new update). For me, once a day will have to do.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: GuitarStv on April 04, 2020, 11:54:19 AM
Quote from: Tass on April 03, 2020, 07:22:02 PM
I can't tell if that's arguing my restrictions are unnecessary or too lenient. Or is it just a non sequitur?

Just an argument that monitoring local news during a time of crisis can be prudent and beneficial.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on April 05, 2020, 12:16:29 PM
Quote from: GuitarStv on April 04, 2020, 11:54:19 AM
Quote from: Tass on April 03, 2020, 07:22:02 PM
I can't tell if that's arguing my restrictions are unnecessary or too lenient. Or is it just a non sequitur?

Just an argument that monitoring local news during a time of crisis can be prudent and beneficial.

Ah, now I follow - my bad. Following the news closely probably offers some benefit, but for me it doesn't justify the daily cost to my time or mental health. A daily check-in would have qualified as following closely just a short time ago! Still, nice work stocking up on books. I have 3 more from my library before I'll have to either switch to kindle or work through my owned bookshelves.


This week (3/29-4/4) I logged 62 screen hours, 14 of which were on my phone. This is a big increase in desktop time, but I think that's due to learning and reading I did on my computer.

I took on a bunch of "new project" type stuff. I started reviewing college statistics and took an hourlong overview course on vegetable gardening. In the kitchen, I made bread x2, ricotta (partial failure), cookies, and peanut butter from scratch. I read a series of comic books and discussed it with a friend, and also spent more time digitally hanging out with friends overall. I finally scrubbed the whole bathroom as I've been meaning to do ever since this stay-at-home moment began. It's good to feel like I tried and learned new stuff this week instead of wasting away on a screen.

Major consideration:
Digital reading   8 hours   
Various texting apps   7.5 hours   2 hour decrease!
Youtube + online class   7.5 hoursMost youtube is educational content
Social distance contact   6 hours   Includes work, volunteer, and social time
MMM forum   3.5 hours   2 hour increase
Email   3 hours   
Excel   2 hours
News   2 hoursSignificant decrease
YNAB   1.5 hours
Food   1.5 hours
Facebook   1.5 hoursSlight decrease

I think this shows a shift toward valuable digital activities. I want to keep an eye on my forum time, but I'm not too worried yet. I would be happy with another week similar to this one.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 07, 2020, 09:43:48 PM
Logging after after my surf time. 1 hour 13 minutes.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 08, 2020, 01:33:26 PM
The toddler is taking a long nap and I've checked the news, my messages, etc. I'd REALLY like to look at Facebook or MMM threads, so I'm checking in here. Instead, I'm going to do a bit of paperwork. Or just do nothing. Tonight, I'm doing more paperwork and chip away at a project.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 08, 2020, 08:43:17 PM
I've felt uninspired with chipping away at my project and REALLY want to scroll my facebook groups. Instead, I'm going to work on my budget, make a grocery list, go through my email inbox, cross off a "to do" item, and update my calendar.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 09, 2020, 01:48:28 PM
I got my exercise in today, then reviewed messages and the news. The toddler is up, but her dad's on duty and I have 2 hours to do my own thing. There were a number of details that came up in the news that my present self would like to research further (and also see if people on MMM threads are saying anything about). But, my future self would like to keep that research to once a week and today is not the day. It'll have to wait until Sunday evening. My intention this morning for those two hours was to deep clean the kitchen and chip away at a project I'm trying to finish by the end of the month. So that's what I'm going to do!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 10, 2020, 07:43:30 PM
Cleaning the kitchen yesterday was just what I needed to process through some thoughts and ideas and get my inspiration back for my project. Cool how that worked out. I doubt surfing would've done the same. There's something about doing physical work with loud music playing.

Today was plan B. I took my internet hour during nap time and am hanging out with my husband tonight for our anniversary. Sunday I'll do my Spanish. Technically, moving Spanish to Sunday gives me more time to study, which is good because I have some catching up to do. But it also felt like a bit of a loophole to take my internet time early. I guess I'll just have to watch that the shuffling around doesn't lead to going off the rails. I'll check in here like usual.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 12, 2020, 10:48:58 AM
Yesterday's positive: I spent the evening reading and hanging out with my partner. I exercised and did a household detail during nap time.

Yesterday's negative: I got sucked in to the news during the last half of nap time and ended up looking at articles and stats for 1.5 hours after the toddler was up while she was with her dad. I also posted to MMM's coronavirus discussion.

My goal today is to keep news updates and analyses to nap time. But I think I'll allow myself to look at the coronavirus discussion on MMM as long as I put it away when the toddler is up (even if I'm not the one watching her).

This evening is for studying Spanish.

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on April 12, 2020, 11:22:17 AM
This week (3/29-4/4) I logged 63 screen hours, 16 of which were on my phone - pretty similar to last week.

This week I finished all of Crash Course statistics; I succeeded at ricotta and tried my hand at dumbed-down puff pastry; I got halfway through a 500-page book; and I continued keeping in touch with friends and family.

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   8.5 hours   1 hour increase
Youtube + online class   7.5 hoursMost youtube is educational content
Email   5.5 hours   
MS Office   4.5 hours
Social distance contact   4 hours   Includes work, volunteer, and social time
Facebook   3 hoursDoubled!
MMM forum   2.5 hours   Slight decrease
News   2 hoursSame as before
Video game   2 hours
YNAB   1.5 hours
Tumblr   1 hours
Coding   1 hour   

This week I noticed myself craving something frivolous to fill my time, something I pursued just for enjoyment. It was a tough week (an elderly relative passed away - not from COVID, but we still can't hold a funeral), so I relaxed my expectations. I'll have to monitor whether that kind of bland relaxation remains a healthy break or starts trying to consume more of my time.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 13, 2020, 01:38:49 PM
I'm checking in here after naps because it's hard to pull myself away from news. Check-ins have been the ticket for me with surfing, so I'm applying them to the news.
Today's nap is now over and I'm putting away the news until tomorrow! Like with surfing, it's nice to know that any interesting articles or forum discussion can rollover to the next appropriate time.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 16, 2020, 05:11:59 PM
Almost talked myself into spending an extra hour digesting the news today. The toddler has dropped down from a 2 hour to 1.5 hour nap now that she's close to 2 years. So I don't have much time to read the news after exercise, a household detail, and checking my messages.

My partner is also on duty in the afternoon after nap so I technically have the time to spare at least a few days a week after doing my productive afternoon stuff. But I remembered saying that unexpected downtime will be for reading and projects. So that's what I'll do.

I don't have my side hustle anymore for the foreseeable future, so what I could do is keep my morning and afternoon the same and shuffle around my evening so I can spend a little longer (rather than 15 minutes a day) on the news.

Between catching up with my partner and reading before bed I'll try the following for an hour in the evenings and see how it goes:

-Spanish
-Social (Facebook Groups)
-Paperwork
-Hobbies (listened to a podcast last week, which I haven't done in forever)
-Projects
-News
-Non Surfing Internet (challenge updates, blogs, keep/pocket, forum research- I've been asking questions to my groups whenever they come up, but it's important to keep my checking of responses to certain times-)




Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on April 19, 2020, 06:53:57 PM
I was lax on myself this week, which is fine, but I think it's time to get back in the swing of things. In particular, I want to replace my screen relaxation with podcasts, possibly paired with other tasks like cleaning.

This week (4/12-4/18) I logged 62 screen hours, 17 of which were on my phone - pretty similar to last week.

This week I made gumbo and cornbread (new recipe), got in touch with a few people for the first time in a while, aaaaand... Not much else of note, frankly. Started rewatching a beloved TV show to introduce a roommate.

Major consideration:
Video game   10 hours   
Various texting apps   8.5 hours   same as last week
Python practice   4.5 hours   
News   4 hours   Doubled, somehow
Phone browser   3.5 hoursSome of this is jackbox games (which is allowed), but not all
MMM forum   2.5 hours   Same as last week
Zoom   2.5 hours   
Youtube   2 hours   
Email   2 hours   Big decrease
MS Office   2 hours
Facebook   1 hoursBig decrease

I've re-enabled my phone internet blocker, but set weekends to be allowed; I had unblocked it to play jackbox games, but then kept using it. I'm also uninstalling the video game. I can still relax, but I'm going to do it with podcasts instead. Everyone is putting out coronavirus bonus episodes and I have LESS down time to listen, so I'm falling behind!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 19, 2020, 09:46:53 PM
Positive: this week I finally caught up on my Spanish challenge.
Could use some work: I've fallen behind on my reading and sleeping challenges over the past month. And my internet usage could use a little tightening up.

I feel good about the different slots that I've allocated for internet use with this new normal (nap time after exercise + a few evenings a week after connecting with my partner and before reading). But it's still hard for me to shut it down until the next session because there's just too much to research and analyze.

Today, for example, I read the news during nap time before exercising (I still had lunch to finish, so I thought, "why not switch up the nap time order?"). I ended up just blowing off exercise in order to look at news for 2 hours (though I did exercise later in the afternoon). My evenings are somewhat similar. On my surf days, I've been blowing off reading in order to surf longer (around 2 hours) and have also been going to bed late.

I think three things will help me contain surfing/news to its appropriate time and make the other habits (especially reading and early bedtime) more doable:

1) Exercise right after the toddler goes down for a nap. And follow that with a household detail and text/facebook messages check. Having a sense of accomplishment works wonders for being able to more easily log off. Otherwise I just think: "I blew it, so I might as well drag it out further". Doing an activity with the toddler right when she wakes up (she loves when I draw animals with her, so that's what we'll do) may also help with that aimless feeling. 

2) Connect with my husband in the evening right after the toddler goes to bed. Otherwise, I do my surfing first thing and it's too easy to let it drag on. Similar to nap time, if I feel like I've accomplished something towards building the things I want for my life before surfing, it's easier to pull myself away in order to do other effortful things as well (read!).

3) Check in here for nap and evening log-offs to reinforce my long-term, rather than momentary desires. That's a daily check-in and 3 weekly ones. Outside of my challenge threads, I will also save MMM for my weekly news analysis session. I think that's part of the nap time problem: I read news updates and then head over to MMM. I'd like the latter to be more of a weekly, than a daily thing. So again, I'll check-in here in order to log off when my times are up, if I have the urge to surf and it's not time, or if I get distracted by surfing when I'm doing something task-based online.

Time to log off and get reading!


Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 20, 2020, 09:21:15 PM
Today I had an appointment during nap time, so I did my news update earlier this evening. Then moved on to paperwork. Time to get reading. I'm determined to make reading and going to bed early habit again. Did both last night and it felt great!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 21, 2020, 10:19:59 PM
Started toilet training the toddler today. It's right up there with teething as one of my least favorite aspects of raising a kid. She didn't have one accident... which was unfortunate, because she just held in her business and refused to go the entire day. Turns out she has great bladder control, which will likely prove challenging in terms of training. So I had to change tactics and come up with a plan. During nap time and since she's gone to bed, I did some troubleshooting research. I also caught up on news tonight along with some MMM threads (it was my night to do so, but I did 2 hours instead of 1). I'm un-showered, didn't exercise, didn't connect with my partner, and didn't read. But I'm logging in here, so that's a plus. Tomorrow is a new day (and I think I might have some training strategies for the camel I'm dealing with). Whatever goes down tomorrow, I will try to get in a shower and exercise. In the evening: connect with my partner, do projects, read, and go to bed early.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on April 22, 2020, 01:29:42 PM
Logging off my news update.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on April 28, 2020, 09:58:29 AM
Ok, I've been hesitant to post here because I've been doing a bad job, but I'm coming back.

In late February / March, I spent a ton of time online reading about coronavirus.  It was unhealthy for me and stressed me out but I couldn't stop.  I think I learned that my bad habits flare during stressful times.  Then I spent a lot of time obsessing over my portfolio, because I was mad that I was early on the coronavirus stuff (I was prepping in February during market peaks once it was clear it spread to Italy) but didn't touch my investments.  I had trained myself that I can't predict the markets and it turns out at that in least one case I could.  But I didn't compound mistakes and pull out late, and I actually rebalanced into equities (and put a little more in) on the way down, so that was good.  I also have stayed free of the three sites I wanted to avoid -- I think I literally just looked at one of them once -- during the bad stretch.  Most of my time wasting was on reddit, which before this I would rarely use.  I since kicked the reddit habit, but then have been wasting more time on bogleheads and here. 

In April things have been better, and I've been able to find a better balance.  Things aren't still optimal, but it's a balancing act because I can also be very hard on myself, so I am trying to make sure I challenge myself in positive ways. 

My goal this week is to stop looking at / posting on bogleheads.  It's a useful site for specific financial information, but the reality is I have everything is managed on auto-pilot anyways, and any adjustments would be very small gains and I have a sense of what I'd want to do anyways.  I don't actually need advice and I just go there for personal finance dork entertainment.  Also, I remember now from the last few weeks how time consuming it is to learn about the intricacies of the market and why I decided previously to just stick with buy-and-hold three fund investing.  Let's assume just "in arguendo" that I could actually be or become knowledgeable enough to eek out a tiny risk-adjusted return above the S&P... how much time would that take and would that time be better spent on something else anyways?

My second goal, which I am struggling with, is not to go cold turkey on this site (I do need some outlet, and just saying "LWYRUP from now on just be perfectly efficient at everything" doesn't work sustainably) and I like that people focus on all sorts of self-improvement things on here and are also a bit countercultural) but to limit it to a certain period of time each day / week.  I have a bad habit right now of just stopping to check for new posts every, say, 20-30 minutes. It's just a few minutes of distraction but it adds up and it's just frustrating to want to stop a habit but to keep slipping up.

What are some techniques you all use to avoid that clicky / phone pickup urge?  My pomodoro timer app has been pretty effective so I'll use that this afternoon.  What I am NOT going to do is spend a lot of time "researching" about productivity.  One of my most kafkaesque bad habits that I'm training myself out of. 

If all goes well I'll check back here tonight but not before. :)
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on April 28, 2020, 07:55:22 PM
@LWYRUP I definitely relate to bad habits cropping up during stress, and to too much COVID news being unhelpful. I definitely have the same issue with MMM; right now I am only allowed access to ALL restricted sites between 5-8pm each day, plus all day on Sunday. That includes news, facebook, and this forum. It forces me to prioritize (I don't waste my time checking stuff I don't care about), but it gives me a chance to relax and catch up once a week if necessary. Personally I absolutely depend on blockers like StayFocusd, and I use the nuclear mode.

Last week (4/19-4/25) I logged 65 screen hours, 14 of which were on my phone - pretty similar to last week.

I made yogurt from scratch for the first time, caught up on some podcasts as intended, and did a LOT of refresher work on Python.

Major consideration:
Python practice   17.5 hours   Over 3x increase!
Phone browser   6.5 hoursAlmost doubled - having some trouble with this
Various texting apps   6.5 hours   Decreased 2 hours!
Wikipedia   3 hours   Fell into a rabbit hole reading about whales...
Video game   2.5 hours   Big decrease, now uninstalled
MMM forum   2.5 hours   Same as last week
Email   2.5 hours   Similar to last week
Facebook   2 hours1 hour increase
News   2 hours   Plus a significant amount of the phone browsing
Youtube   1.5 hours   
Tumblr   1.5 hours   
Zoom   1.5 hours   
YNAB   1.5 hours   

So, I have to turn off my phone browser blocking in order to access an online fitness class I've been enjoying, which is throwing me off on that front. I'm definitely cheating by accessing things on mobile. Maybe I'll at least log out of facebook on my phone. But otherwise, this isn't too bad.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on April 28, 2020, 08:03:36 PM
Quote from: Tass on April 28, 2020, 07:55:22 PM
Wikipedia   3 hours   Fell into a rabbit hole reading about whales...

LOL.  Story of my life.  If only I could find a job that paid me to just accumulate totally useless but interesting knowledge....
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on April 28, 2020, 08:17:36 PM
I started out watching some new scientific footage of baby whales nursing, and then I got emotional about their family bonds. Three hours later...
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on April 28, 2020, 08:20:11 PM
Whales seem like they'd be pretty tight knit, since it takes so long for them to get big and the ocean is so big it would be lonely to be out there all alone. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on April 30, 2020, 06:04:37 PM
Okay, so I've done waaaaay better today.  Yesterday I stayed off bogleheads and reddit too but I was on MMM and I was on a few threads but I just kept on clicking.  It's a very time consuming way to use the site.  You can read and convey way more info by just ignoring it for a few days and then go on for an hour or so and catch up, rather than clicking every time there's a new post.  I did it during work hours and it killed my concentration because I was purposefully interrupting myself so tasks took longer.  But I get sort of obsessed about things (sometimes work, sometimes chores, sometimes internet) and when I get in that mode I can't really stop it...

How I broke the urge is that I didn't start new threads and the old ones sort of petered out and today when I woke up the interest had abated and I was in a mood to just focus and not open the door on new threads.    Today I sort of did a couple of clicks here or there for a minute or so but 95-99% just focused on my work.  I'd really like to get to the point where I just don't have the urge to click on anything except during my designated internet time, but that's going to be a while.  I also pretty much avoided all other sites except every so often I go on news sites and just look at headlines (without reading articles -- headlines are usually sufficient for day to day knowledge). 

Now I can do what I want for the next few hours, but I promised my wife I'd clean the kitchen and I want to be off screens and in bed by 11.  But it feels good to have handled my business and now have some time to relax without guilt. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on April 30, 2020, 06:08:44 PM
@Tass, I used to use blockers a lot but had trouble finding one that would sustainably work on an android phone.  Do you know of anything?

I need something that's pretty nuclear, because otherwise I'll turn it off or download a new browser or switch off wi-fi and use LTE or whatever.  I've found thing that work like that on my laptop but not my phone.  I used to have a way to shut things off from my router but since switching internet providers that's been more troublesome. 

My ideal IS to just kick the habit.  I know I kicked those three worst sites last fall and then reddit last month and so I know I can get there, and it's more sustainable if you can just train yourself not to do it, but it's way harder.  But I'm open to using blockers to help along the way where I can. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on April 30, 2020, 08:24:05 PM
I use AppBlocker on my android phone; it has a lock function where you can make it impossible to disable for a certain time or unless your charger is plugged in. It won't stop you from downloading a new browser I guess, but it can stop you from using the browser(s) you have. It also has pretty nice features around blocking at certain times, certain GPS locations, and optionally blocking notifications.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 01, 2020, 09:09:20 PM
Logging off from my surf night. I can pick up where I left off during tomorrow's surf night.
Own Up To Your Internet Usage updates to come! For now: read.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on May 02, 2020, 08:33:22 AM
5/2 Weekly Goal

My goals this week are dead simple. 


I'm not even setting official screen or pickup limits (I can track this in rescue time, but I use computers to work and so when work is busy screentime can go up, and the "distracting vs. nondistracting" breakdown always sort of throws me off) other than use in moderation. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 02, 2020, 09:13:33 PM
Logging off my surf session. On to teeth brushing and reading!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 03, 2020, 10:03:48 AM
Ok, I finally have time for an update from the past week:

Well, toilet training threw me for a loop. It was last weekend that we started and early this past week that we stopped (we are revisiting it in 6 months).  We did four days of training and for three of them, I spent the entirety of nap time and the evening online (part troubleshooting training/part zoning out) and was on Facebook and MMM sporadically throughout the day while the toddler was awake. My internet use was a definite decision rather than a slip-up. Like, "Fuck it, I'm doing this". I didn't even attempt to justify it.

I don't know why I was so triggered.  I'm well aware that you can't make kids eat, sleep, pee or poop. Maybe it's that I feel we have workable parameters around eating and sleeping that don't put our lives at the complete mercy of a toddler. But I was at a total loss with the peeing/pooping. The conclusion I came to was that the toddler likely just needs more time to understand what exactly it is we're shooting for. And while monitoring her all day for accidents in order to rush her to the potty was it's own special kind of hell, we also tried out a different, more doable method that we'll use when the time comes.

I think what was going on psychologically is that I tend to default to "all or nothing" thinking and the method of training we started with didn't allow for time to do anything but monitor for pee/poop accidents. My partner and I tag teamed, but when he was on duty, instead of thinking: "great, I think I'll take a shower" I thought "I haven't done any of my usual things, (shower, exercise, paperwork, etc) so why even bother?" That kind of thinking is so self-defeating. Doing what I can with the time I have is a much better way.

I also tend to get laser focused on a problem until I can figure it out. But according to Meyer's Briggs, I'm an intuitive, which I suppose means that the way I actually solve problems is not through analysis, but by putting things on the back burner for a bit to let them percolate. That's where the zoning out comes in, I think. When I hit a wall with my research, but still haven’t arrived on a solution, I check out for awhile. I'm finding that switching gears to something physical or creative helps me arrive at my solution much better than zoning out online.

A few things seem to work really well for me:

-Keeping the time my daughter is awake and in my care tech-free. It makes a huge difference in the quality of both our lives. And it's an easy line in the sand. I'm also waiting to do screens with her until she's school age, mostly because it's easier for me to just not have the option because I know I'd abuse it.

-Using the productivity tip of "eating the frog". “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it First Thing in the Morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the BIGGEST one first.” — Mark Twain. My frogs are the things I do to live well. Self care, connecting with my partner, doing meaningful projects (and eventually work) being social, taking care of all the mundane daily responsibilities. I find that if I don't attend to those things first, they are unlikely to happen. And it takes literally a minute to get over the hump of not feeling like doing them and into action (I actually like doing them once I get started and the feeling of satisfaction is amazing). Once those things are done, there's still time to do my surfing or other forms of relaxing that take no effort. But if I do the non-effortful things first, they crowd out the important things. First things first.

-Having 3 surf sessions per week has been the arrangement so far that has contributed most to my ability to stay away from the internet outside the appropriate times, log off at a reasonable hour, and avoid distractions. I think it's because I can tell myself that I can pick up where I left off the next day. Also when the 3 days are up, I just have 4 days until it's surf time again. So I tell myself that too. I whittled down my surf days the past few months in order to do other things with my evenings, but I think I'll reinstate those 3 days again and see how it goes. Rather than having a time amount, (ie: 1 hour) I'll do surfing after I connect with my partner and will turn it off 1 hour before bed (8pm).

-Using unexpected downtime for projects, paperwork or a hobby (including reading).
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on May 03, 2020, 08:56:19 PM
Didn't I just post here? Where did this week go??

Last week (4/19-4/25) I logged 60.5 screen hours, 16 of which were on my phone - a slight decrease.

I made more yogurt, practiced more python, and hung out with my roommates a lot.

Major consideration:
Python practice   11 hours   
Phone browser   7 hoursAbout the same, still a problem
Various texting apps   5.5 hours   Decreased 1 hour
MS Office   5.5 hours   
MMM forum   3.5 hours   1 hour increase - honestly have no memory of this
Email   2.5 hours   Similar to last week
Science reading   2.5 hours   
Tumblr   2 hoursThis is mindless distraction
Youtube   1.5 hoursLargely music listening
Facebook   1.5 hoursSlight decrease
Zoom   1 hours   
YNAB   1 hours   
Podcast app   1 hour   

I'm actually happy with my productivity this week, but I think my exercise slipped a little bit. More exercise is my goal for the upcoming week. I need to cut my phone browsing, though.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 03, 2020, 09:20:03 PM
Logging off final surfing night of the week. Wanting to linger, but I can pick it back up Friday.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on May 03, 2020, 10:17:15 PM
Quote from: Luz on May 03, 2020, 10:03:48 AM
  I also tend to get laser focused on a problem until I can figure it out. But according to Meyer's Briggs, I'm an intuitive, which I suppose means that the way I actually solve problems is not through analysis, but by putting things on the back burner for a bit to let them percolate. That's where the zoning out comes in, I think. When I hit a wall with my research, but still haven’t arrived on a solution, I check out for awhile. I'm finding that switching gears to something physical or creative helps me arrive at my solution much better than zoning out online. 

This spoke to me, as an INTJ (as I am guessing like half the people on the MMM boards are).  I do better decisionmaking by gathering information, taking a pause, and then coming back with a clear mind, but I have a tendency to obsess. 

Parenting toddlers is hard.  We're dealing with kids 6, 4 and 11 months on 24/7 coronavirus lockdown.  Screentime and stress management is a challenge for everyone in our family right now. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 04, 2020, 01:45:56 PM
Did my news update after exercise and other details. I read something that piqued my interest and was about to go into research mode and also post my questions on an MMM thread. But now is not the appropriate time. Instead, I remembered that I have Google Keep (thanks, @LWYRUP ) so I jotted down my thoughts there and am continuing on with my day. I can do more research at tomorrow's nap and post to MMM this weekend.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 05, 2020, 08:46:15 PM
I had a kick-ass day of first things first. Got so much done. Then this evening I started with the easier thing. Only now with check-in (15 minutes until I shut off the computer for the night) am I getting to the harder thing (studying Spanish). Next time: harder thing first, then the easier. That way I will do them both. On to studying Spanish (better 15 minutes than none at all, right?).
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 06, 2020, 05:51:42 PM
I really want to do the easy thing first, but am sticking with swallowing the frog (studying Spanish). Everything else follows, including balanced internet use.

@LWYRUP: INFJ's must share some of those obsessive tendencies (and other weaknesses) with INTJ's. Maybe because of the IN?

I like this description of introverted intuition:
"Introverted iNtuition is a personality function that constantly gathers information, and sees everything from many different perspectives. As the dominant player in a personality, it has the effect of constantly bombarding the psyche with new information to consider. Introverted iNtuition is sort of like a framework for understanding that exists in the mind. As something is perceived, it is melded into the existing intuitive framework. If an entirely new piece of information is perceived by the Introverted iNtuitive, that person must redefine their entire framework of reference. So, Introverted iNtuitives are constantly taking in information about the world that needs to be processed in a relatively lengthy manner in order to be understood. That presents quite a challenge to the INFJ. It's not unusual for an INFJ to feel overwhelmed with all of the things that he or she needs to consider in order to fully understand an idea or situation."

-from personalitypage.com (which may not be the most rigorous source, but they have some interesting things to say)

I've read that while introverted intuition is the great strength with these personality types, things become unhealthy when it overtakes the other functions. For me, it's a constant balancing act to give the introverted intuition its due while reining it in enough so it can (ironically) function optimally (for example, taking those breaks you mentioned).

Also: it's hard to find the time to give IN its due with young kids running around the house (not to mention 3!)

Anyway, back to swallowing that frog....
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on May 09, 2020, 08:22:37 AM

Weekly Update

Good news:

Still off three original sites plus reddit.  (I did waste time on bogleheads.)
Minimal actual news reading.
Kept browers off my phone all week except cracked during an "optional" (read: mandatory) work zoom happy hour (sigh) but only then.
Used "FocusTime" on work laptop when I was having trouble concentrating and it worked.

Bad news:

Had some distractions on bogleheads and this forum, including during work hours.  It's hard when you "get in" to a thread and want to check it.  Total internet time is now probably back down to "normal person or below" levels but still higher than I'd like given my responsibilities and goals.

I've also been thinking more than I need to about my finances recently, and not in the "here's a cool way to save money" way but in a "watched pot never boils" sort of way.  Need to reflect on that and redirect my attention in more productive ways.

This week:

Going to keep browser of my phone.  I really liked watching how at the beginning the week I had urges to pick up my phone and surf and then even by the end of the week that mental circuitry is already starting to fade.  I think coupling this with allowing myself to surf as long as I just take the baby step of cracking open my laptop is helpful -- it's enough of a deterrent to stop a fair amount of impulses but with an outlet that prevents me from just giving into the impulse.  I'm a believer in long term habit building, so I'm fine just keeping this as a simple goal again and again.  It take take 2 months of effort to build a habit and then probably 6 months before it's so solidified that the risk of relapse is low enough that you can ignore it (except in stressful times, when the old triggers rush back... see coronavirus).  So this, like ignoring certain sites known to distract me, can just become part of my long term screen time plan.

This week I'm going to expand this and ban surfing on my work computer.  I'm going to do this by starting an 8 hour Stay Focused session when I start work. 

Outside of that I'm going to continue to not set hard limits and will just continue to work on reasonableness and moderation, particularly targeting (i) minimizing bogleheads time, (ii) keeping screens off during kid dinner / bedtime hours, (iii) winding down earlier to promote earlier wake-up and (iv) a preference towards producing (writing in journal, focusing on a goal (researching gardening) rather than undirected surfing.  But that's going to be a more qualitative assessment and I'm not going to obsess about the numbers if I hit my main goals. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 10, 2020, 05:11:13 PM
I really don't want to do my first things today (clean the bathroom and tidy up). Tonight is a surf night though, and I'm sure it will feel awesome to surf with everything else done for the day.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 11, 2020, 06:02:48 PM
A few changes:
-I started back up with my side hustle today and my husband is returning to work on Friday.
-I'm using nap time to exercise, work, and check text/facebook messages, in that order
(since my in-person Facebook groups won't be meeting up for awhile, I just check Facebook messenger on my phone, so the notifications on the Facebook homepage won't tempt me)
-I'm considering moving news updates to my surf days, since they've been displaced by work. I think 3 days/week should be enough to keep me fairly in the loop.
-I'm wondering if I should change up the content of my surfing. Right now it's MMM, Facebook groups, and a blog or two. Those were the sites that made the cut after reading Digital Minimalism.  Having 3 days of surfing seems to help me better log off, but I wonder if I should change up the focus a bit without adding too much in. It just seems that by the middle of my surf days, there's not a lot of new content to look at. I'll sit with the idea for a bit before making any changes.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on May 11, 2020, 06:23:15 PM
I'm back to work this week, so I can't wait to see how my stats turn out. I have to own up to last week first, though.

Last week (5/3-5/9) I logged 68 screen hours, 20 of which were on my phone - a pretty significant increase.

I cooked a three-course meal. I assume I did other stuff before that, but none is coming to mind.

Major consideration:
Python practice   11 hours   
Various texting apps   7 hours   Increased 1.5 hours
Zoom   7 hours   Some work, some social
Phone browser   6.5 hoursAbout the same, still a problem
MMM forum   4 hours   Another slight increase
Tumblr   4 hoursDoubled!
Email   4 hours   
Facebook   3 hoursDoubled!
News   2 hours
Food   2 hours
MS Office   1.5 hours   

My goal last week was exercise, and I did some, but I don't think I improved much. Since I bike to work, that will also inherently be improved this week. I cheated on all my blockers, though. Re-implementing those now.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on May 16, 2020, 07:08:18 AM
Weekly Check-In

Rescue Time is only set up to do weeks starting Sunday or Monday, which is annoying because I'd like to log on Saturday mornings.  I'll either need to change my habit or adjust (maybe amend the entry tomorrow)?  It would be great to do a formal summary like @Tass for better tracking. 

I'm down 13.5 hours from last weekend and I'm not going to log 13.5 hours so safe to say I'm down a pretty substantial amount -- potentially a full "workday" of screen time.  My "productivity score" is about average.  Split, I can see working hours are almost all productive and outside of work hours are mostly unproductive.  No surprise there, but one of my top life goals is to kill it at work while working and then purposefully step back and log off during downtime to create mental separation.  The worst state to be is procrastinating during work hours and then having work projects spill into nights and weekends, awful.  So that's all great.  Not tracked as well is less time on TV this week.  The screen time includes no reddit time and virtually no news time (other than a surf for headlines every now and then, which ideally would become limited even further, to one or two sites and only every couple days -- but the time is like 5-10 mins a day right now so that's pretty damn good).   

My biggest issue is the 6 hours 51 minutes on "Google Chrome for Android" (aka. cheating on my "no browsing on cellphone" rule).  So that will remain my big goal for the coming week, along with hitting my sleep goals. 

I am looking into refinancing my mortgage, and so that is going to take up some nights and weekend screentime, including some legitimate use of bogleheads threads to gather intel.  So if I can keep next week's screen time at about what it is this week but knock that phone browsing time (ideally to zero but let's say in half), I'll declare that a win. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 16, 2020, 09:03:40 PM
Took surf session #2 of 3 tonight. Reminding myself that I have tomorrow evening to continue scrolling. It's way easier to log off when I remember that.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on May 17, 2020, 08:49:24 AM
Weekly Check-In

Ok.  I'm trying out doing this on a Sunday with more precise data.  Last week (5/10-5/16), I logged 64 hours and 47 minutes of screen time, a decrease of 8.7 hours from the week before.  My personal productivity pulse was 52, down 4% from the week before.  Not tracked, but I also watched a little less TV. 

Major considerations:

Gmail -- 13.5 hours (Mostly work)
Phone browsing -- 10 hours (Should be zero)
MMM forum --  6.75 hours (Higher than normal, some useful journal entries and good conversations, some time wasting)
Video calls -- 4 hours (This seems low, actually)
Word / Adobe -- 3 hours

Also not tracked was an enormous amount of work calls not done through video.  Rescue time counts the "dialer" time (one full hour) but not the conversations themselves if you are just talking and the screen is sleeping. 

I actually only logged 3 hours working in Word / Adobe this week, which highlights something I've always found ridiculous -- my job involves 90% communicating about work product and 10% producing work product. 

There is just by nature a LOT of coordination in my job (I structure, negotiate and close complex commercial real estate transactions, and usually my particular role on the team is "making sure all of the things (big, small, interesting, boring, etc.) are happening" which by necessity reduces time available to actually make things happen, but it's a bit much.  I have to constantly protect even scraps of free time for quiet work.  But if I am not constantly on the ball, my coworkers will keep missing stuff and then deadlines will be blown and confusion and chaos will reign.  I am like part-time quarterback (this is how we need to restructure things to save on taxes) and part-time secretary (did you send the lender the TPS reports they need to go to committee?).

Anyways, onward and upward for next week.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on May 17, 2020, 11:30:14 AM
Quote from: LWYRUP on May 16, 2020, 07:08:18 AM
My biggest issue is the 6 hours 51 minutes on "Google Chrome for Android" (aka. cheating on my "no browsing on cellphone" rule).  So that will remain my big goal for the coming week, along with hitting my sleep goals. 

Consider uninstalling or disabling Google Chrome on your phone! My phone has an un-disable-able Samsung Browser, so I still have internet access when I need it, but the disruption to your rhythm from using a different app will help you keep the commitment. (Just don't let yourself build up a new habit on the new app!)


Last week was a weird one. I got so involved in a screen activity that I neglected work, cooking, cleaning - except the activity was productive. I've really been enjoying learning to program in Python. As useful as it is, though, it seems I will need to set some limits on it.

Last week (5/10-5/16) I logged 72 screen hours, 13 of which were on my phone. This is an increase in overall time, but a significant decrease in phone time.

Major consideration:
Python practice   25 hours   
Zoom/Skype   8 hours   Some work, some social
Various texting apps   7.5 hours   Similar to last week
MMM forum   3.5 hours   Similar to last week
Facebook   2.5 hoursSimilar to last week
Email   2.5 hours   Decreased
Online social games   2.5 hours   Overlaps with some Skype, above
Phone browser   1.5 hoursHuge decrease!
News   1.5 hours
Tumblr   1 hourHuge decrease!
Excel   1 hours   

My exercise kinda went down the drain this week with the change in my routine, and my sleep went downhill as a result. I need to re-focus on those things.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on May 24, 2020, 07:18:12 AM

I can keep it simple.  My numbers this week were pretty much the same as the week before.  I took a day off work, so probably less productive time and more goof off time on average.  I think I was stressed at various points and so that contributed. 

Anyways, not going to dwell on it.  That's my checklist, will push for an improvement next week.  Onward and upward.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on May 24, 2020, 01:19:09 PM
Last week (5/17-5/23) I logged 75 screen hours, 14.5 of which were on my phone. That's a small increase, but pretty similar to last week.

Qualitatively, though, I feel like this week evaporated without much input from me, either productive or joyful. Maybe it's just the days blending together in lockdown.

Major consideration:
Python practice   18 hours   
Various texting apps   7 hours   Similar to last week
Zoom/Skype/Discord   7 hours   Some work, some social
MMM forum   3.5 hours   Similar to last week
Excel   3.5 hours   
Email   3 hours   
Phone browser   3 hoursDoubled!
Reading scientific papers   2.5 hours   
YNAB   2.5 hours   
Facebook   2 hoursSlight decrease
News   2 hours
Tumblr   1.5 hourSlight increase
Slack   1 hour   
Youtube   1 hour   

Overall this looks pretty similar to last week, but I think I can still stand to spend much less time online total. The computer is still my default way to occupy myself, productively or no. I'd like to be more in a position where I open the computer for specific tasks and then put it away again.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 26, 2020, 06:05:24 PM
The principle of "eat the frog" (tackle the hardest things first) has really worked for me the last two weeks. I'm surprised to find that I need much less motivation throughout my day when I get right to the hard tasks in comparison to starting with the easiest thing (my normal MO). When I "eat the frog", much of the day feels like I'm coasting. I really like the feeling. I think the fact that I've accomplished something really helps.  It's like "I was already productive today, why not just continue on?". I know the opposite is absolutely true for me: "I've not done the tasks I was hoping to do. Why not just blow off the day and do nothing?"

I also think transitions, which "eating the frog" has helped with, have always been weak spots for me. For example, I usually would put my daughter down for a nap and then kind've mosey around, telling myself I'll just take 10 minutes to relax before getting to my next task. As part of "eat the frog," I now get right to cardio after depositing her in bed. It is so helpful.

So I've set up my week and each task around the principle. I get my most unpleasant tasks done at the beginning of the week and let the inertia carry me through the rest of the week. I also try to take care of the least pleasant thing within each task first. For example, when I exercise, I now do strength before stretching, and start with the strength moves I don't like.

I like "eat the frog" in terms of regulating my internet use, because it helps move the focus from limiting the internet to making sure the internet doesn't crowd out the frogs that I need to eat if I'm going to accomplish the things important to me. I'm also getting a lot out of using unexpected downtime for projects, paperwork, and reading rather than surfing the internet. My important things include spending quality time with my daughter and husband, saving for a house down payment via my side hustle, doing my self care habits (shower, exercise, sleep...) studying Spanish (really want to become fluent), reading, projects, keeping the house running (chores, tidying, cooking and managing all the details) and eventually getting back to socializing. Once my kids are a bit older, I'll go back to school and work and don't want the internet to get in the way of the goals I have in that area either.

So anyway, I think the hardest time of the day is in the afternoon prior to dinner when my husband watches our daughter. That's the time I have for studying Spanish, doing a quick tidy so the evening bedtime routine isn't too overwhelming, and tackling a step on my to-do list. It's also the time I'm a bit tired from all the activity of the day.

It's also still difficult to log off on my surf days. I'm pleased to be surfing 3 days a week again (after the disruption of my habits with the Coronavirus) and not feeling particularly pulled toward the internet in the days between. It feels like the right amount for me to not feel like it's scarce. But on surf nights, I'm not as disciplined about reading, getting to sleep on time, or connecting with my partner. So this week I'll focus on that.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on May 26, 2020, 06:08:01 PM
Great progress!   I appreciate the thoughtful contribution.  I'd make the response longer, but I am logging off now.  ;)
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 29, 2020, 10:06:40 PM
Logging off after 2 hours of surf time. 1.5 hours is ideal for leaving time to connect with my partner, read, and get to bed on time. I didn't do any of those tonight since I got home late from grocery shopping and went straight to surfing. Goal tomorrow is 1.5 hours after time with partner and an hour before I go to bed.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on May 31, 2020, 03:28:40 PM

Last week (5/10-5/16), I logged 47h and 4 min of screen time, a decrease of 20.6 hours from the week before.  My personal productivity pulse was 53%, up 4% from the week before. 

I had a four day work week and also spent part of last weekend taking the kids to my parents house and this weekend camping, so a fair amount of my non-work time was spoken for with other activities.  That is an internet tip I should remember, that if you just start filling your time with fun things it will crowd out some internet time. 

Anyways I'm in a nice zen rhythm so I am going to log off to not disrupt my flow. 

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on May 31, 2020, 10:05:45 PM
That's awesome LWYRUP!

Last week (5/24-5/30) I logged 69 screen hours, 14.5 of which were on my phone. That's similar to last week, but you'll see below that my usage shifted dramatically. The last few days of news have been particularly upsetting, and it disrupted my internet use rhythms. Time to recommit in the coming week.

Major consideration:
Facebook   8.5 hoursMore than quadrupled
Various texting apps   7 hours   Similar to last week
Python practice   6.5 hours   
News   5.5 hoursMore than doubled
Tumblr   4 hourMore than doubled
Email   4 hours   
Zoom/Skype/Discord   5 hours   Some work, some social
MMM forum   2.5 hours   1 hour decrease
Podcast   1.5 hours   Generally considered productive
Adobe   1.5 hours   
Slack   1.5 hours   Likely to see a big increase here in the future - considered social
Phone browser   1.5 hoursHalved. At least there's this!
Twitter   1 hoursI DON'T HAVE TWITTER! I just check up on one guy!
Youtube   1 hour   Same as last week
Food   1 hour   
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on May 31, 2020, 10:15:51 PM
Logging off after my 3rd and final surf night of the week. I surfed 2 hours each night. I'm aiming for 1.5 hours to fit in time for reading. The news has been particularly difficult to pull away from these past few days.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on June 07, 2020, 10:16:57 PM
This weekend my surf hours were: 1.5/1.5/2. An improvement, but my evenings got a late start, so it still didn't leave much time for reading/getting to bed early. I'll focus on those two things during surf time next weekend. In the meantime: Spanish, paperwork, and projects.

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on June 08, 2020, 11:57:09 AM

Last week I messed up and had a really bad week.  I was upset at everything in the news (George Floyd's murder, the protests, the riots, the President's response, suffering of my friends, etc.) and fell back into old habits and got obsessed with reading about it.  I even ended up taking a part day off on Monday because I couldn't concentrate.  I also stayed up too late and was tired during the week, then slept in.

The damage was 86.5 hours and 29% productivity.  15 hours on local city forum I'm not supposed to visit.  8.5 hours here.  5 hours reddit.  Mysterious "chrome internet" time (more of the same).  5 or so hours news.

Stepping back, I was processing all this terrible news and that's an important thing.  But I need to learn to process bad news in a more healthy way.  I recognize a pattern now where I can get into a grove and everything is firing on all cylinders, and then there's stress and I get knocked off.

One great thing about me is that I mess up a lot but I recognize it and always pick myself up and dust myself off and move on.  So doing that here.

Yesterday was a much better day (relatively, still about 5 hours of wasted time) and today after a slower start in the morning I've been solidly productive and zen since about 10am.  So with a short lunch and working a bit past 5 I'll knock out a solid, totally non-distracted day today. 

I can literally feel my cortisol levels dropping and feel myself detaching from the news cycle.  It's a great feeling.  I'm proud of myself for recognizing how this is not healthy for me and disengaging.  There will be stressful events again, and so I need to prepare in advance to work through them in a healthy manner.

It's extra hard when your job involves sitting on the internet by yourself.  And then so you want to do a good job, so you sit there for hours, working at half-productivity.  One thing I did learn is that there are sometimes that I need to just get up from my screen, even if during work hours, and go for a long walk or a jog, etc. because that's the only way I can clear my head and I'm too far gone to say "OK, now we'll just read boring documents and not look at any news."  Luckily, I've banked goodwill in my job from long hours and stress before and then literally in terms of leave (like, I have the vacation days, if I feel guilty I can literally burn vacation time) so there's no reason not to do this if it would actually help me and my organization in the long run.

May check in here more frequently as I wind down and get back on track, to make sure that's what I'm doing. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on June 09, 2020, 06:21:48 AM

6/9/20

9h55 min yesterday.  The vast majority of that was during work hours.  2.5 hours of that unproductive (news, forums), the rest work or e-mail.  That's better and today I am not going to waste any time in the morning before work so pretty sure I can knock that down further today.

I went to play tennis with a friend after work, which was a lot of fun and good for me.  It also is a great screen time technique -- fill your time with fun stuff, and then the time for internet constricts. 

I also learned a trick for this forum.  You can go to notifications, turn them off but then click a bunch of threads for notifications and then bookmark the notifications page.  Then you can just visit that bookmark and you see just the threads you are following.  That saves time because you don't need to hunt for them but also keeps the other threads out of sight out of mind.

I used that trick today and it's great so far.  I hope to use that to join a bunch of "gauntlet" threads and not worry about checking into them and then getting distracted (e.g., by political threads). 

Onward and upward!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on June 10, 2020, 06:06:05 AM
6/10/22

Yesterday's numbers:

10h13 min screen time.
58 productivity pulse. 
62 phone unlocks.

Vast majority of this is work (some things, like listening to music or using windows explorer is marked as neutral, so that brings down the productivity score even if I am not actually messing around), with some after dinner surf time.   

This is OK given how much work I did.  Given that I work on screens 8 hours plus every workday, it's going to be pretty difficult to get below 50-60 hours screentime in a normal week, so my goal is really just not to blow too far past 60 hours and to feel like my use is productive. 

The trick I learned to streamline the MMM site (https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/forum-information-faqs/is-there-a-way-to-flag-or-sticky-certain-threads/) by turning notifications off, then flagging threads for notifications, then bookmarking the notifications page is working well.  Through this workaround, I can basically set a home page for the MMM site that's only the threads I want to see.  This saves time if I want to check into gauntlet challenges without distracting myself with other things.

Biggest issue was sort of randomly clicking then remembering I shouldn't, or picking up my phone pointlessly.  I think these are ingrained habits I just need to keep whittling down, but they will be helpful because if I am in stress mode it may make me just that much less likely to pick up a screen to deal with it because the habit is less ingrained.

Anyways, goal for today is just keep it up but focus on recognizing impulses to randomly click or open my phone and instead of just clicking for a minute and then stopping try to just head off the impulse.  One of my methods for doing this will be to allow myself to just take a short non-screen break for that minute and then refocus. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on June 10, 2020, 08:40:08 PM
Your experience of last week is relatable. Notice I didn't even post a retrospective. I'm back on the wagon this week (mostly).
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on June 11, 2020, 10:10:26 AM

It's hard.  These are important issues and extraordinary times.  But it's important for us as individuals to balance staying informed (ideally with high quality sources) and working through our feelings and not derailing our life or losing control of the things we can control.

I'm embarrassed by that figure but figured I should own up to it.   

Yesterday I wasted a bunch of time, but at least it was solid work most of the day and then when the day was almost over I shifted onto the internet.  I did read some interesting things.  But too much.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on June 13, 2020, 10:24:41 PM
Logging off from surf night #2 of 3 for the week. Did 1 hour 45 minutes both nights and don't want to log off tonight even though I have another session waiting for me tomorrow evening. Time to brush my teeth, read, and get to bed!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on June 15, 2020, 11:13:10 AM
6/15/20

Last week's numbers:

65h 40m, 20.9h less than the week before
42 productivity pulse, up 42% from week before

I took a day off on Friday and went hiking with my daughter, and then was out enjoying nature on Saturday so that helped.  It feels great to reset from screens in nature.  As I get older, I think "spending time outdoors being physically active" is moving up in my priority list.  It's funny because I paid more for a house closer in to our big city but now I work in the suburbs and most of the time on the weekends I drive OUT (to nature, farms, etc.) rather than IN ( to museums, restaurants).  I still like where I live because of the long-term flexibility to take a new job without a horrendous commute, but something to consider for the future. 

Towards the end of the week my non-productive time started shifting away from news and back towards random fun stuff.  I spent time reading about places near our vacation, I spent time reading about people who lived in the wilderness (just random, not going to do that).  That's still better than the news, which drags me down and depresses me.  I want low amounts of high quality information, and most news is opposite that, but the headlines are literally like "do you want a spurt of adrenaline / dopamine"?  Click here!

We finished up a TV show (that I started ignoring and just playing on the internet when it was on).  I'd really like to start having some totally screen free nights but need to get my wife on board, the problem is we are usually both so wiped after marathon three-kid bedtime.  Maybe we can do a schedule, like start strong Monday Tuesday.  Today I've got tennis again so hopefully that becomes a habit that displaces internet after work. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on June 15, 2020, 11:15:51 AM
Quote from: Tinker on June 14, 2020, 12:53:41 AM
i work in IT and am generally happy with the extremely high amount of time i spend on the internet.

However.

Can anybody recommend an electric collar to give me a small shock whenever i put a "9" into the address bar?

What's wrong with the number 9?  When I searched I got a couple hits for movie reviews. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on June 16, 2020, 10:27:22 PM
I did 1 hour, 45 minutes all 3 surf sessions this week. Yesterday I was intending to study Spanish, but got done with my side hustle early and decided to take the 15 extra minutes to catch up on the news rather than jump right into Spanish. I didn't end up getting to Spanish. But I turned off the news in time to get a decent amount of sleep, so that was positive.

It would have been fine to take time to read the news AFTER studying Spanish, in line with the "eat the frog" productivity hack that's been working so well the past few weeks (it makes me feel like I'm coasting downhill all day). I studied Spanish this evening and updated other MMM challenges (but I definitely had more urges to blow off my responsibilities or rearrange them in my schedule in order to procrastinate).  So my challenge is to keep with what's been working- hardest thing first.

I remember in 2014 with the Michael Brown shooting (and oh my god, Kajieme Powell) spending hours and hours reading the news and articles about the criminal justice system. It's good to be aware, but there's definitely a point for me (and it doesn't take much) at which getting caught up in the news leads to disillusionment and inaction. So it's a fine balance. Stay in the loop, but also in a place psychologically where I'm actually of use.

Fun fact: a few years ago my (non-white, permanent resident) husband was handcuffed by law enforcement (border patrol) after they mistook him for someone else. Thankfully they figured it out eventually and my husband didn't "resist arrest". It was still shitty though (their attitude was: "pick up your stuff that we've scattered around and get out of here" once they realized they had the wrong guy). For all I researched about the criminal justice system a few years prior, I was caught off guard and didn't know how to react. So maybe this time around with George Floyd, it's a bit too close to home and I have more of a psychological barrier to getting too sucked in.


Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on June 19, 2020, 11:07:24 AM

Small victory -- it's been over 24 hours now since I've last clicked on any distracting sort of website (news, blogs, etc.).  I opened LinkedIn once but I closed it like two seconds later.

Feels good.  Going to see how long I can keep it up.  :)
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on June 20, 2020, 03:40:57 PM
I surfed for 3 hours during last night's session (#1 of 3 this week). Ideal time is 1.5 hours.  Next time I will remind myself that I have 2 more days to veg while surfing.

I've felt overwhelmed this week and I think it's pregnancy hormones. I'm due in 2 weeks and I recently read that cortisol levels rise nearer to birth in preparation for labor/caring for the highly needy newborn. Aside from hormones, I think I'm also realizing that we're starting over again and things will be intense for awhile. We've come so far since my daughter was born in terms of life balance and I'm not looking forward to feeling like I'm drowning again (hopefully it doesn't last as long this time).

So I mention all this pregnancy and newborn stuff because I surfed SO MUCH after my daughter was born (while breastfeeding, right when she went to bed, checking my phone during the day...) and my internet habits have improved a great deal since then. I want to hold onto the gains I've made. I'll be sure to monitor my internet use extra carefully and regularly check in here over the next few months.

Tonight's goal: 1.5 hours (with a reminder that I have yet another session Sunday)
This week's goal: pick up my library holds so I have new reading material (easier to go from relaxing while surfing straight to relaxing while reading).

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on June 23, 2020, 01:55:29 PM
I did 3/2/3.5 hours of surfing over the weekend.
I have not been reading at night and therefore have no screen-free activity to transition to that hour before bed. I plan to pick up my library holds before next weekend's surf sessions. It might also help to resume checking in here at logoff time.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on June 23, 2020, 09:12:29 PM
I almost talked myself into blowing off my good evening habits for the next two weeks prior to the baby's due date (which include connecting with my partner, doing my side hustle, studying Spanish/doing projects/completing paperwork before taking my surf sessions, going to bed at least 7.5 hours before I have to be awake in the morning...). I'm sure I could justify it, but I'd rather keep my momentum. No exceptions has been a helpful rule to avoid talking myself into all sorts of reasons why just this once it's fine to surf.

Once the baby's here, and if we avoid the witching hour those first few months, my evenings will be short and sweet: connect with my partner, take an hour of downtime: 3 days surfing/1 day paperwork/3 days media (reading, podcasts, magazines, etc) then brush my teeth, feed the baby, and head to bed early.

The only problem with this plan (other than the assumption that I will have cooperation from the newborn) is that it doesn't include a leisure activity after computer use. I stopped reading regularly after libraries closed down in March because I was too cheap to buy books. Libraries are open again and I'm still trying to get back in the habit. I've found it really challenging to log off my internet time when my next activity is a task (brush teeth and go to bed) rather than something fun (like reading- but it has to be for entertainment and not information). So maybe I could do 6 days surfing for 30 minutes then brush my teeth and finish the evening with off-screen media for 30 minutes before feeding the baby.

If I don't get the baby's cooperation and I'm caring for him late into the evening those first few months, I will take my hour recharge time in the afternoon when my husband watches both kids (3 days surf, 3 days media, 1 day paperwork). I'll keep my plan for unexpected downtime the same as it has been. And I'll try to connect with my husband at least in passing in the evening and also brush my teeth before crashing into bed.

When the baby starts sleeping longer stretches, I'll slowly make my way back to my usual evening, but will have a pumping session before bed for a year when otherwise I would read. I think it's time to get into podcasts or audiobooks. It might look something like this: connect with partner, side hustle, surf x3/Spanish/paperwork/projects/read, brush teeth, pump (with podcast/audiobook).

I guess the main approach I want to take with this upcoming life change is to stay flexible and go with the flow while staying committed to my habits, whatever form they may take. For nearly the first year of my daughter's life, I just surfed in the evening after putting her down. I'd like something different this time around!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on June 25, 2020, 08:46:40 PM
Tonight is my night for studying Spanish but I really don't want to. I'd much rather dink around on the computer and could probably talk myself into it. But instead, I'm going to finish my side hustle then write out my vocab list and head to bed. I forgot that tomorrow is my surf night until this check in. I think I can hang on until then!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on June 28, 2020, 10:57:21 PM
Things are going well in terms of staying off the internet when it's not time and showing up for eating my frogs instead. But I am not logging off when I'd like after my weekend surf sessions. This weekend I did 3/2.5/3.5 hours. I think it just feels good to turn off my mind for a bit in light of the upcoming life change. I also have not gotten back into the habit of reading since the pandemic hit. Maybe easier than trying to log off at 1.5 hours is just to commit to reading for at least a short time before bed.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on June 29, 2020, 03:23:42 PM
I'm bad at transitions and am definitely in one with the new baby coming at any time. When circumstances change, it's easy for me to blow off my regular stuff. Today I worked on a project and crowdsourced a few related questions to one of my facebook groups. Then I got distracted on my FB feed and spent the time I should have been doing my side hustle scrolling. So just checking in to affirm that doing my first things first despite this transition is the way to go.

Next right things: prepare some food, give toddler a bath, catch up with my husband, study Spanish and do my side hustle.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on June 29, 2020, 05:52:28 PM
I thought about it a bit and realized that my scrolling today and logging off late during the past few weeks of surf sessions is related to all-or-nothing thinking. I usually have more than usual on my plate during transitions and that's true right now. I'm trying to wrap up a project for my side hustle despite a few roadblocks, deal with all the details of adding a baby to the family, and cover for my husband on the childcare front as he's had crazy OT hours on top of taking 2 intensive summer courses.

So I think the trigger to getting lax with my scrolling/logging off has been my inability to stay on top of everything extra despite a sincere effort to do so. It's like, "if I can't do it all, I'm going to put everything on the chopping block." Which, like I mentioned before, is silly. Better to keep trucking along, doing what I can do (sticking with my regular responsibilities and dealing with the extras as time allows) and letting that be good enough.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on June 29, 2020, 05:56:31 PM
I'm going to take a break from the normally serious tone of this thread to say...  yay for babies!!!  :):):)

I'm excited!  Our littlest is in a "daddy" phase.  Those are the best!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on June 29, 2020, 07:59:38 PM
Quote from: LWYRUP on June 29, 2020, 05:56:31 PM
I'm going to take a break from the normally serious tone of this thread to say...  yay for babies!!!  :):):)

I'm excited!  Our littlest is in a "daddy" phase.  Those are the best!

Haha, thanks! My husband is definitely the most popular one around here.

I'll try not to make my posts all about babies and toddlers this next year, but I think the topic is fairly relevant to the thread since the internet is THE most enticing break from the rigors of raising little ones! These early/middle adult years with schooling/career/family pursuits are intense!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: talltexan on July 03, 2020, 06:23:12 AM
With family visiting I just started leaving my phone out in the glovebox. It's amazing how just a little distance to the phone changes your behavior so drastically.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on July 06, 2020, 01:53:06 PM
This past weekend I did 2/2.5/2.5 hours of surf time. Last week I also scrolled my facebook groups on 3 separate occasions outside of the designated times. 2 were distractions after looking up a specific piece of information. 1 was just scrolling for scrolling's sake.

I'm still in a transition with these final days before baby (last night was a full moon, but nothing) and I also have not reinstated my reading habit since the pandemic hit. I've had success with eating my frog despite the distractions and trouble logging off, so I'm still getting my stuff done. I'm just not using my downtime the way I'd like. I really enjoy surfing when it's in its rightful place (when there are limits). But last week and weekend it didn't feel enjoyable and it reminded me of the phrase: "you can never get enough of what you don't really need".

I'm thinking to spend a bit of money on non-digital media. Like buy books instead of borrowing them and purchase subscriptions to print news, magazines, and radio/podcast/music apps. I guess I'd like to have my non-screen leisure time be as rich as possible. And right now it's kind've meh- I get most stuff from the library, but I'm not very consistent about managing my account. I'm wondering if just purchasing my media will make it more constant. My husband and I are also shifting gears a bit financially to find a better balance between YOLO and FI. We're still trying to reach certain goals, but also focusing just as much on what a good life might look like in the meantime. And I'm thinking that looks like subscriptions for me!

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on July 06, 2020, 09:32:38 PM
I've been away from the forum for a few weeks. My phone usage has worsened over that time, but my computer usage has improved.

Last week (6/28-7/4) I logged 58 screen hours, 26.5 of which were on my phone. That's a 10 hour decrease overall, but a near-doubling of the phone time. This is explained by a death in my family this week, but I can't let it become a new normal.

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   11 hours   +4 hours
Phone browser   4.5 hours+3 hours
Skype/Zoom/Discord   4 hour-1 hour; mostly social
MS Office   4 hours
Email   3.5 hours   
Facebook   3 hours-5.5 hours
News   3 hours-2.5 hours
Podcast app   3 hoursconsidered semi-productive
Tumblr   3 hours-1 hour
YNAB   2 hours
Reading science papers   1.5 hours
MMM forum   1.5 hours   -1 hour
Twitter   1 hourSame as before
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: ageless-human on July 07, 2020, 06:05:24 AM
I turned off my phone for Friday & Saturday. Crazy how I turned it on Sunday and I barely missed anything in regard to emails, messages, and calls.

I'm thinking I should just remove my personal email from my phone as checking it has become a fairly frequent activity. I currently have all my apps in a single folder on my phone and left on the 2nd page, so I can't see anything. I just use Spotlight to get to the app I want, but not sure if that has actually deterred my browsing much. What strategies have the rest of you implemented?
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on July 07, 2020, 11:03:46 AM
Worked on projects this morning while my toddler played. I was really tempted to go to scroll facebook and would have justified it with looking up information or sending a message through Messenger. But I remembered to check in here. I'm determined to get back to scrolling only during designated times (including logging off an hour before bed during my surf days). It helps to check in here with each urge to weaken the compelled feeling.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on July 19, 2020, 11:42:20 AM
Last week (7/12-7/18) I logged 76.5 screen hours, 23 of which were on my phone. Not great overall! But I had a deadline Thursday and my usage distinctly dropped after that. Aiming to make this week better.

Major consideration:
MS Office   11 hours+7 hours
Various texting apps   10 hours   -1 hours
Python   6.5 hours   +6.5 hours
Email   4.5 hours   +1 hour
Phone browser   4 hours
MMM forum   4 hours   +2.5 hours
Tumblr   2.5 hours
Video game   2 hours+2 hours
Skype/Zoom/Discord   3.5 hours
Apartment hunting   3 hours
Sheet music   1.5 hours
Slack   1.5 hours
Facebook   2 hours-1 hours
News   2 hours-1 hours
Podcast app   1 hours
YNAB   1 hours
Twitter   1 hour
Food   1 hours

That was more positive usage than I expected, but it's definitely a pattern that I use more negative/unnecessary sites when I am on the computer more in general.

Next week I want to limit my phone browser and my forum usage. I better get off now!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on July 20, 2020, 10:31:44 AM
The new baby is a week old and we're getting into a rhythm. He has reflux so he takes his naps (4 of them) in a carrier, during which time my hands are free. My husband has paternity leave and is on toddler duty during the day. In the evening he takes the baby for an hour so I can do a little self care.

My screen goals for the next 5 weeks are:
-no scrolling on my phone during breastfeeding or self care time
-use the first 3 naps for: spending time with my daughter, tidying up/restocking supplies, to do list details, household paperwork, side hustle, food prep, chores, and keeping in touch with friends.
-use the last nap for scrolling facebook, mmm, etc.
-for unexpected downtime, do screen-free media (news, magazines, books, music, podcasts, etc)

I'm excited to have a bit of an internet use do-over this time around!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on July 20, 2020, 10:50:45 PM
Quote from: Luz on July 20, 2020, 10:31:44 AM
The new baby is a week old and we're getting into a rhythm.

Ah, I was wondering why the thread was so quiet! Congratulations!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on July 23, 2020, 07:36:49 PM
I really want to scroll Facebook while the baby's feeding and even picked up my phone to do so... but remembered I could also check in here. I've wanted to scroll numerous times these past 2 weeks, but haven't! I'd like to keep the momentum because it feels really good to enjoy my scroll time rather than use it for zoning out.

It's been a long day and I get a few hours to myself tonight. I'm going to relax with a magazine and can scroll again nap time tomorrow.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on July 26, 2020, 12:30:22 PM
Last week (7/19-7/25) I logged 76.5 screen hours, 20 of which were on my phone. That's very nearly the same as last week, which is disappointing.

Major consideration:
Skype/Zoom/Discord   13.5 hours+10 hours! Ugh, the meetings this week...
Various texting apps   9 hours   -1 hours
MMM forum   4.5 hours   +0.5 hours
Video game   4 hours+2 hours
Email   4 hours   -0.5 hour
News   3.5 hours+1.5 hours
MS Office   3 hours
Online book reading   2.5 hours   
Slack   2 hours+0.5 hours
Phone browser   2 hours-2 hours
Facebook   2 hours= hours
YNAB   2 hours+1 hours
Youtube   2 hours
Python   1 hours   

I did cut down on the phone browser, but not the forum usage, so I'll focus on the latter for this week. I'd also like to see my overall usage down in the low 60s.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: ageless-human on July 27, 2020, 04:38:04 PM
Wow, last week was bad. I got my screen time notification on Sunday and it was at an average of 4.5 hours. That's a 50% increase over the previous week and much higher than my goal of 2 hours.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on July 27, 2020, 04:55:09 PM
My days are kind've a twilight zone of feeding baby and trying to get him to sleep. Now I remember why I got so hooked on scrolling when my daughter was a newborn- despite the intensity of this age, there's a lot of time where the baby is on you and you can't do anything else... anything but scroll on your phone, that is.

Once this baby eats less and sleeps more, I really want to pick up where I left off with the habits I've established this year. The best way to do that is to keep my scrolling to 1 nap.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on July 28, 2020, 06:42:57 AM
Quote from: ageless-human on July 07, 2020, 06:05:24 AM
What strategies have the rest of you implemented?

Turning alerts off.  Monitoring time with rescue time. 

I used to spend more effort trying to block things but if you want to get around the blocks there is always a way.  Working on the underlying impulse has been more effective on the long run and is in my view more sustainable.  But literal blocks or bans can be helpful if your impulses are really strong at first.  Sometimes I hand my wife my phone and say "don't give me this back until after dinner."
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on August 02, 2020, 06:30:39 AM
Had a bit of a free-for-all the past few days. Babe has some medical issues that required a few procedures and follow-up therapies. Thankfully, outcomes look excellent, but he' requires much more care beyond the regular newborn stuff. I (or my partner) hold him for all naps and I've been scrolling during that time and at feedings too 

Now that I have a better idea of what to expect these next few months, I've written up a little daily plan for meeting his needs and taking better care of myself. It includes scrolling time during the first nap. I'm going to keep coming back to that!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on August 02, 2020, 11:38:23 AM
Quote from: LWYRUP on July 28, 2020, 06:42:57 AM
Quote from: ageless-human on July 07, 2020, 06:05:24 AM
What strategies have the rest of you implemented?

Turning alerts off.  Monitoring time with rescue time. 

I used to spend more effort trying to block things but if you want to get around the blocks there is always a way.  Working on the underlying impulse has been more effective on the long run and is in my view more sustainable.  But literal blocks or bans can be helpful if your impulses are really strong at first.  Sometimes I hand my wife my phone and say "don't give me this back until after dinner."

You can always get around blocks, but for me it's about interrupting the automatic habit. The further out of my way I have to go to get around the block, the more effective it will be in reminding me of my goals. It can be as simple as turning off fingerprint unlock or rearranging the apps on my phone, or keeping chrome closed by default on my computer with desktop shortcuts to the few sites I actually need. (The URL bar in a blank new tab is a trigger for my bad habits.) I use some extensions that simplify websites (ex. remove "suggested videos" from YouTube) and I aim to keep my phone at a charging dock instead of constantly by my side. Basically, I try to reduce the opportunities for temptation.

Last week (7/26-8/1) I logged 67 screen hours, 20.5 of which were on my phone. That's a decrease overall, but the same amount of phone time.

Major consideration:
Various texting apps   10.5 hours   +1.5 hours
News   5 hours+1.5 hours
Skype/Zoom/Discord   4.5 hours
Games   4.5 hours   Some social, some worthless mobile games
Python   4.5 hours   +3.5 hours
Email   4 hours   = hours
PDF reader   3 hours   
MMM forum   2.5 hours   -2 hours
MS Office   2.5 hours-0.5
Youtube   2 hours
Facebook   2 hours= hours
Advice column   1.5 hoursoof
Slack   1.5 hours
YNAB   1.5 hours
Phone browser   1 hours-1 hours

This week I cut down on the phone browser and the forum usage, so that's a success. I wanted to see my total usage in the low 60s, which I didn't quite manage. The stuff I most want to change is already fixed for next week - I spent an hour on a mobile game as a way to connect with my kid sister, but decided it didn't serve that goal well and already uninstalled it. Overall, I'm not too upset with the distribution of this time, but I'd like to decrease it by 10-20% across the board. Let's see how low I can go!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on August 05, 2020, 09:33:38 AM
Quote from: Tass on August 02, 2020, 11:38:23 AM
Quote from: LWYRUP on July 28, 2020, 06:42:57 AM
Quote from: ageless-human on July 07, 2020, 06:05:24 AM
What strategies have the rest of you implemented?

Turning alerts off.  Monitoring time with rescue time. 

I used to spend more effort trying to block things but if you want to get around the blocks there is always a way.  Working on the underlying impulse has been more effective on the long run and is in my view more sustainable.  But literal blocks or bans can be helpful if your impulses are really strong at first.  Sometimes I hand my wife my phone and say "don't give me this back until after dinner."

You can always get around blocks, but for me it's about interrupting the automatic habit. The further out of my way I have to go to get around the block, the more effective it will be in reminding me of my goals. It can be as simple as turning off fingerprint unlock or rearranging the apps on my phone, or keeping chrome closed by default on my computer with desktop shortcuts to the few sites I actually need. [/b].

I've done some of that too, like hiding mail from the front of my home screen, physically putting away the phone, etc.   I do find these environmental triggers helpful.  The issue I had was I tried to physically block some sites, but then I would find a way around it and then the habit came back.  When I had a lot of success in the fall / spring, before the virus hit, I did it more by "habit stacking."  So just focus on eliminating one site, and then another, and then cutting off at a certain time, etc. until you take greater and greater challenges.  Unfortunately, the "OK, today I won't look at the internet" type declarations just rarely work. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on August 05, 2020, 09:38:34 AM
Ok, so I did a pretty good job decompressing on vacation and then it came roaring back over the last few days.  I did start today off well by getting up early to exercise, so I'm hoping to build on that.  I'm going to start small not by tracking time but with a few goals / habits:

Goal 1:  Don't click on two sites (one a city forum, the other a political blog) that I have historically wasted a bunch of time on.
Goal 2:  Shut internet off at 10pm. 

Routine creation:  Before you pick up phone, log on internet, or do a non-work task on work computer, orally announce what you intend to do and how long you expect to spend. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on August 07, 2020, 07:52:55 AM
Going to post slightly more frequently until I get back on track.

So I deleted rescue time from my work computer out of paranoia that my company would see it and be like "egads, you waste a lot of time on the interwebs and what's all this about retiring early."  Anyways so it only tracks my phone and home computer now.

After a struggle on Wednesday, on Thursday I did avoid the two sites completely (OK, one I spent like a minute on and then ran away, but I'm being reasonable here).  I also dropped time from 7.5 hours to 6.75 hours.  Egads, that's still a lot.  The biggest culprit was just a long stretch from 7pm until a little after 11 where I surfed around while watching TV. 

Today's goal is dead simple.  Less time than yesterday! 

I think what would be cool is if we pool our resources and create a little guide that we could stick as a first post.  I'm happy to contribute to that if others think it would be interesting. 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on August 08, 2020, 07:02:40 AM
Quote from: LWYRUP on August 07, 2020, 07:52:55 AM
After a struggle on Wednesday, on Thursday I did avoid the two sites completely (OK, one I spent like a minute on and then ran away, but I'm being reasonable here).  I also dropped time from 7.5 hours to 6.75 hours.  Egads, that's still a lot.  The biggest culprit was just a long stretch from 7pm until a little after 11 where I surfed around while watching TV. 

Today's goal is dead simple.  Less time than yesterday! 

Way better yesterday!  The app tells me 6.5 hours, but 2-3 hours of that was me trying to get Fitbit to update (including lots of time where I was away from the phone doing other things but the screen was awake as the install was loading, then crashing, then loading again).  So probably 4 hours max of real personal screen time, I'd guess 1 hour of which was useful and 3 hours was not really necessary.  Stayed off both the bad sites.

So for this weekend I'm going to keep my goal really easy (it's the weekend) and stay under the 6.5 today and then make sure Sunday is lower than Saturday.  And stay off the two bad sites.  Then I'll check back and build from there.

A few things that have really helped.  First, I downloaded an app called Quitzilla (and paid to remove ads as my reward for an accomplishment at work).  It's fun because it sets a timer for bad habits so you can see how long you can get a streak for.  It's been 2 days, 15 hours, 20 minutes and 6 seconds since I went on the distracting city forum!  I have a widget in the top of my screen that I can look at.  It turns it into a bit of a game. 

Second, I'm doing it by habit stacking and starting small.  The first day it was really hard to not click on two two banned sites, then yesterday it was easier.  I know from history that in a week or so (it took me a month the first time, but this time should be easier), I'll basically forget all about them.  Then I can stack more habits on that.  (The ultimate holy grail for me is if I can regularly limit non-productive internet screentime to under one hour a day.) 

The habit stacking approach is more sustainable, and satisfying, to me than just trying to ban the sites via brute force, though the downside is then in times of stress (like this coronavirus situation) I know my tendency to revert to bad habits will flare up.  Once I get the habits dialed down generally, I'll need to work on that.

Third, I'm trying to create a replacement habit.  So after dinner two days in a row I took my daughter for a walk.  It was fun.  Two days ago she saw a friend and held a puppy!  Yesterday we saw a fire truck and ambulance (not fun for someone else but interesting to a 6 year old). 

Ok, onward and upward.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: LWYRUP on August 12, 2020, 08:58:14 AM
Ok, so weird experience.

I did a pretty good job over the weekend.  Not amazing, but good.  Then on Monday afternoon I got an irresistible impulse to mess around on the internet.  I think this was triggered by two things.  First, the project I had at work was deadly boring, and I was having trouble focusing, and working on deadly boring things takes me to my bad place (where I start to catastrophize, I think in part based on literal PTSD from how much I hated my first job out of school).  Second, I saw (cuz I cheated) about the looting in Chicago and then I wanted to read more and then I started to read other things then lo and behold after some half-assed work and a dinner break it was 12:30 and I was watching youtube videos about maps, remote islands, skiing down K2.  All much cooler than politics but still.

I got a terrible night sleep even though I was technically in bed for 8 hours (that's what a screen binge will do) but then I woke up with like no urge to look at anything the next day.  Previously if I had a bad day I'd have like a string of them (particularly when the coronarvirus was fresh and I was catastrophizing) , but it was more like there was tension built up and I released it and then I didn't care.  Which is good b/c I don't do all or nothing thinking anymore so I'm back on the saddle and things are going well.  But I also need to figure out how to work myself down when I'm just in mood and how to cut myself off when I know I started a binge. 

My best answer right now is to go for a walk.  Trying to get back to work at a time like that is like torture, but a walk physically removes me from the issue and gives me a chance to reset and let the moment pass.  It's amazing how different I will feel sometimes after a reset. 

EDIT:  Small victory.  We took a break on Monday from the "family fun no screens after dinner" ritual since it was a billion degrees outside, and then on Tuesday my daughter was like "daddy it's family fun time" and then we went on a walk and played Go Fish.  So first of all she actually helped me and second of all it's been a success for everyone (way better than watching Barbie). 
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on August 14, 2020, 09:53:00 PM
I survived newborn boot camp!

It was a bit of a doozy that first month since the baby had a few health issues that required care above and beyond the usual feed/change/sleep routine. But he's doing much better now and is turning out to be a great little sleeper and overall just a really easygoing kid. I'm so pleased to have him around.

I'm not pleased with my internet use this past month though. I held the baby constantly until about a week ago when we transitioned him to the bassinet. There wasn't much more to do during that time than scroll on my phone while he snoozed or ate. I could have found something like audiobooks or podcasts to listen to, but I didn't. I was on Facebook and MMM, my go-tos. It was also a pretty stressful month and I am starting to feel the pandemic-related isolation. I'm very introverted and had plenty to keep me busy while preparing for the baby. Now that he's here, I just want to get out with him and the toddler and connect with people. I think my scrolling was ultimately a way for me to try deal with my stress and loneliness. It helped relieve stress and made me feel more connected in the short term. But I know my internet habits are not healthy ways of dealing with either and actually exacerbate those states in the long term. Better to find non-internet de-stressors and to ramp up my socially distant connections with others.

My husband is going back to work pretty soon and I did a practice run this week to see what my day with 2 kids will look like and to troubleshoot any issues that come up. I think the three of us should be fine, mostly because the newborn is a really easy baby. He's also started consistently settling for the night at a respectable hour, so it looks like I have my evenings back. I will be starting up my side hustle and Spanish studies next week. Having a normal rhythm to my day again will be helpful in regulating my internet use. I think it will also be good to uninstall the browser from my phone. That makes it way easier, especially since I use the phone's clock and flashlight while I feed the baby. I'm tempted to scroll around while I'm just sitting there.

So, to revisit my internet boundaries:

Keep the laptop and phone off while the kids are awake (including while I'm feeding the baby) -and uninstall that browser-
Use naps and toddler's independent playtime to shower, exercise, and tidy the house.
Use time when my husband has both kids to tackle my to-do list, paperwork, and Spanish
Use unexpected downtime (when I've completed my responsibilities) for non-screen media (books, magazines, newspapers, podcasts, music...) and projects
Use my evenings for hanging out with my husband, doing my side hustle and then an hour of the following:
-Projects x 2 days
-Surfing x 3 days
-Non-screen media x 2 days
Swallow the frog: do the least enjoyable thing first, so I feel like I'm coasting through my day

I'm sure I'll want to scroll a lot at first as I move away from doing it so much. I'll try to check in here to reinforce healthier internet habits. @LWYRUP and @Tass , I like your approaches with the replacement habit and interrupting the automatic habit. I think both of those will be helpful this week.






Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on August 14, 2020, 10:00:10 PM
Quote from: LWYRUP on August 07, 2020, 07:52:55 AM
I think what would be cool is if we pool our resources and create a little guide that we could stick as a first post.  I'm happy to contribute to that if others think it would be interesting.

I love that idea. RescueTime is my main recommendation, along with AppBlock and I'm trying out YourHour for the phone.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on August 16, 2020, 10:13:40 AM
I'd really love to scroll right now.
I'm tired. Babe has a therapy I have to wake him for at a certain time at night and it falls between his 2 night feedings. The toddler wakes for the day an hour after his last feed. I'm not getting much sleep.

I think I'm feeling a bit anxious too. I have to take babe in to be seen for another health issue. It's hard to know, when making medical decisions on his behalf, what is the best choice. And I suppose I don't like to sit with that uncertainty.

But despite the tiredness and anxiety and the resulting pull towards using the internet to just check out for a time, I actually like having clear boundaries around its use again. I think they'll actually be good for ddressing how I feel.

So instead of zoning out, I'll take steps to resolve the tiredness (take a nap/go to bed early) and anxiety (call the pediatric hotline for the on-call provider to get her opinion before taking him to urgent care).

I already feel better!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on August 17, 2020, 01:34:13 PM
Update from my August 16 post:

After checking in here, I called 2 providers for their opinion and made a decision I felt good about. I then took a shower, did my exercises, took a nap and tidied the house. That night I thoroughly enjoyed my designated scrolling time.

Showing up for the next right thing and tackling the harder stuff first makes such a difference. It was great to address the issue rather than zone out to the internet. I enjoy the internet so much more when I don't use it as a means to avoid something else.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on August 21, 2020, 10:52:39 AM
I'm going to try something different. Instead of taking my surf time in the evening, I will read, do non-screen media, and projects. During the time I'm kid-free (nap, solo playtime, and when my husband has them) I will surf after I've done my other responsibilities (shower/tidy, exercise, and 1 step on to-do list/house papers + 3 words Spanish vocab). So essentially, I'll switch my unexpected downtime to surfing.

I have about 30 minutes a day when I'm nursing and the toddler is otherwise occupied. I'm trying to establish a replacement habit of reading blogs (MMM, Bilingual Monkeys, A Mother Far From Home, and Cup of Jo) and listening to podcasts instead of scrolling on my phone. I'll just need to remember to grab headphones before I sit down. What blogs or podcasts do you all like?

Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on August 27, 2020, 08:45:16 PM
Surfing during unexpected downtime (after my responsibilities are done, but the next thing hasn't yet begun) has been great! It keeps me productive with my tasks because I know that if I finish them early, I get to surf. And I feel like I'm getting away with something when I spend my downtime surfing rather than doing something productive. I figure that as long as my day is full of things that get me closer to living my best life, filling in the space with something non-productive is just fine. I probably get in 30 minutes to 1 hour of surfing total each day with this method. I hope I've discovered something that will consistently work for me!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on August 31, 2020, 01:34:22 PM
Still excited about surfing during downtime. I've had an issue with going to bed at a decent hour though. I pump before I go to bed and scroll on my phone meanwhile. But it's really hard to not get sucked in. Then I go to bed late. And a good night's sleep is really important for my quality of life. So I'm going to get a Spotify subscription and start listening to music and also podcasts during that time (starting with: Stuff You Should Know, The Moth Podcast and Radio Ambulante). It will no longer be empty space to fill with scrolling.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on September 07, 2020, 11:37:07 PM
So I've totally been scrolling while pumping despite my podcast intentions. I listened to The Moth one time and it felt too... productive. On top of that, I've been staying up until 10 or 11pm, which is unwise with a toddler and newborn. I'm thinking to fire up a blocking app again that shuts things down at 8:50pm, so I get my butt in bed.


 I wonder if unsanctioned scrolling time will pop up during the day if I do that though. It's clearly a psychological issue. I don't feel exhausted, or like it's unsustainable at all, but I AM going,going all day long. Maybe the scrolling is about unwinding and not wanting to give up the scarce time I have with my own thoughts
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on September 12, 2020, 09:31:54 PM
I'm still not going to bed at a decent hour.

My days are very full right now and it's working really well to use unexpected downtime for surfing, after I've swallowed all my frogs. I'm very happy with my daytime productivity. I'm motivated to get my stuff done. I'm surfing 30 minutes to an hour everyday. 30 minutes at the end of the kid's afternoon nap (after I've exercised) and 5 minute chunks here and there, if I complete my other tasks early.

But I only have 30 minutes or so in the evening for "me" time after I do my side hustle, hang out with my husband, and pump. And I think that's why I'm working on projects (and sometimes surfing) late into the night. I don't think 30 minutes is enough for me to decompress.

So I decided that until I drop the pumping session in a month or so and have at least an hour in the evening all to myself, I'm going to not go outside every morning with the kids and instead work on projects then. My toddler has tolerated my doing so, as long as I'm sitting on the floor with her while she plays. The baby usually cooperates and sleeps. Once I get my hour back in the evening, we'll go outside consistently again.

Tonight I forgot that I have a drive-by baby shower for a friend tomorrow. I used my 30 minutes to order a gift and map my route to the host's house. I'm tempted to stay up late and work on the project I had planned for this evening. But, I'll save it for what would have been our time outside.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on September 27, 2020, 02:35:37 PM
Things have been trucking along pretty well with my latest strategy this past month. I am still going to bed late but otherwise everything is getting done and I have a little time leftover to relax during the day.

Except last week things went to pot because I overextended myself. I had 5 appointments on top of the usual responsibilities and it was way too much. I wasn't able to get my core stuff done (exercise, work, some days even shower, etc) because there just wasn't enough time. I easily revert to an all-or-nothing mindset, so instead of saying that I'll just do 15 minutes of work instead of the full hour or do one set of exercises instead of 5 (do the best I can with what I've got), I ended up surfing with the little time I had leftover from the things that demanded my attention and ignored the other stuff.

The positive is that I discovered my balance with scheduling my calendar (2 extra outings per week max). I also have developed a good structure and somewhat of a habit around following it, so I feel it's pretty doable to get back on track. I'd like to better address the all-or-nothing thinking though. It's fine if I don't get in 100% of my exercise session or whatever everyday. The important thing for me is consistency and just showing up for each area of my life in whatever way life at the time allows. It feels really good when I do so.

I'd like to continue to address going to bed late as well. I probably am trying to fit in too much with the 6 kid-free hours I have per day. I use my 3 daytime hours to shower, exercise, study Spanish vocab, and tackle an item on my to-do list. I'm trying to cram in an hour of my side hustle, 30-40 minutes of preparing for bed and pumping, an hour catching up with my husband, 30 minutes doing household management tasks, and an hour to read or do projects. I think I need to reduce the time spent in some of those areas, since I see now that I'm an hour+ over what's available to me. But I'll keep the hour for reading or projects, because I need that downtime for myself to be able to sustain everything else.

Pumping last thing also kind've sucks because if I have a task as the last thing for the day, I'll procrastinate doing it. But I have to pump right before bed to make sure the stretch without feeds isn't too long. And though I wanted to drop it once my supply regulated, I'm now thinking to hang on to it for the whole year of breastfeeding. Even though it's a PITA, a 15 minute per day investment is totally worth keeping my supply strong.

I'll try to reduce my kid-free tasks down to 6 hours and will come up with strategies for not procrastinating the pump session. Maybe I can reward myself somehow after it's done. I'll also focus on showing up for each task during the day (work, exercise, etc) even if I can't complete the full time allotted.

The end of this month will mark a year into this challenge. It's not been perfect (and the pandemic and having a newborn were really big challenges for me) but I think I've come a long way and have a lot to work with moving forward.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: talltexan on October 09, 2020, 11:04:39 AM
Since this thread started, my phone screen time reports have gone from 3-ish hours daily to over 7.

The good news is that I'm in good touch with everyone. Will see if this weekend's report shows some backward movement.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on October 13, 2020, 12:20:49 PM
I've been thinking of year #2 of this challenge and what I want to focus on. What comes to mind is the phrase: "don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good".

Most of the time I'm online when my wise mind self would rather be doing something else, it's because I was unable to complete what I had intended for the morning or day or whatever. If I can't do things 100%, I convince myself that I shouldn't even bother. And not bothering for me usually looks like surfing since it requires 0 effort.

Why not instead pick up where I left off and give it a solid performance? I was reading the other day that perfection is more of a concept than reality. Life is messy. Success is gradual. I think I'll get much farther if I make this shift in my thinking, because I will steadily chip away at the things I want rather than start and stop whenever life requires plan B.

So this year my focus will be on finding ways to shift that mindset.
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Luz on November 07, 2020, 09:12:57 PM
Surfing after I completed my other responsibilities worked really well and was such a good balance for a time.

But then my daily kid-free time shortened by a few hours since the baby started taking less naps and my husband had to reduce the amount of time he's on duty with the kids due to a more demanding school/work schedule. I had just enough time to get my things done, but no time left over to surf or read or relax. This resulted in blowing off my responsibilities to surf anyway.

I finally acknowledged that I was trying to do too much. And decided to give up my side hustle at the end of the year. It'll take longer to reach our financial goals, but we have a lot on our plates right now. Quality of life is more important. So hopefully having time to relax again will help. I'm already feeling better.

But in the end, I'm planning to try out a 12 step program for internet addiction. My first meeting is tomorrow. I happen to also be celebrating 10 years of recovery this Friday in another 12 step program (!!!) and thought that a great way to mark that milestone would be to use the same method to address my compulsive behavior around internet use.

The past year in this MMM challenge has helped in so many ways and I have a much better understanding of what I'm dealing with. But I still find it so hard to regulate my internet use. I do fine for a time, then go right back to where I was. Time to bring out the big guns!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: talltexan on November 10, 2020, 06:29:09 AM
Congratulations on the milestone!
Title: Re: Own up to your internet usage
Post by: Tasse on December 02, 2020, 09:53:23 PM
Kinda hoping Luz's absence here means their 12 step program is helping!

I just completed a big deadline/milestone and hoping to recommit. I always find I slip in my habits during stressful times.