Things have been pretty great this week. Still cold turkey on the sites I decided to cut out of my life. Way less time on news and distractions. Rescue Time is showing 4 hours and 5 minutes, and most of that was my designated MMM break on Friday night / Saturday morning. I also averaged an hour of TV a night Monday through Thursday and was able to work on bedtime habits as a result. I think this is great because I knew I couldn't just say "no internet" and poof because that's never worked, so instead I've been thinking of this as a process of rewiring my habits and it's been generally working.
I'm trying to apply a bit of Marie Condo logic to my time on the internet. Is this really bringing me joy? I am OK blocking out some break time for things that bring me joy, but to cut mercilessly things being done to distract myself or that engage me but I dislike, like political arguments. There was a thread I posted on last week on this site for example, that didn't start political but sort of spiraled that way. I checked this week and was going to respond to someone's post that I thought was pretty rude, but then I stopped and thought "is this worth it? does it bring me joy? does it help the world?" The stupid thing is I really don't care passionately one way or another, I think I just like debating and proving points. But I can do that in a constructive manner in my job and make money and help my clients. Wasting that mental energy in my personal time, when I should be recovering, is insane. So I'm just trying to disengage from things that aren't really adding value and it's mostly working. I'm proud of myself or recognizing this in advance and not "taking the bait." (Upon reflection, I am guessing a lot of people in those threads are actually very normal, nice people, with the same problems as me, and they frame their arguments to be purposefully provocative in order to get other people to take the bait -- and I probably did that too.)
I did have a bit of an issue last night, where I designated Friday as my "free internet time" but then watched TV with my wife, so I stayed up later to surf more. I watched some really interesting Youtube documentaries on North Korea, but then stayed up until almost 1am. Worst, I've been doing so good at my wake-up goals that I was awake at 6:30 anyways and couldn't really fall back asleep, so I laid in bed until 8am and just dragged myself up.
So I think I need to remember that a break time is great but the break needs to bring me joy. A break that fits into my life is break, but a break that disrupts it is just a binge.
I'm thinking of this process like cleaning up my diet. We can't avoid food, and we can't survive just on broccoli. But we need to make sure we are nourishing our bodies properly and that treats have their place in our diet but just their place and not the base. Screentime is the same way. Some things just need to be eliminated (like the online versions of Cheez Whiz). But other things need to be moderated, or enjoyed at certain time, or stopped for a brief period to achieve a goal and then brought back when they can be handled well. Also, like diet we are going to have occasional lapses. But as long as those lapses are just an hour or two more than we should, and just once every couple weeks, etc., that's gonna be just fine. But if they start to pile up we will just need to course correct.
I read that it takes an average of 66 days for something to go from a tracked goal to just a habit. For something as ingrained as needlessly scrolling blog / reddit comments (which I did for over a decade), I think I'm going to need a bit more than that. So I'm still tracking as goals staying away from those stupid political sites and am going to do so for at least another few months. I need to make sure I knock that out for six months until I can just say "wow that's all out of my life now."
This week I exercised twice, went on a networking dinner, and was more engaged with kids before bedtime. I also ate my meal prepped lunches from Sunday all week, and I spent time texting friends in order to line up plans. Superbowl this week, followed by two brunches the next two weeks, and a happy hour in a few weeks. Some regular exercise plans with friends as well. I was active before, but now with extra mental space I can redirect internet time to planning these things and do even more. Also, I used to feel deprived or stressed with too many activities, because I "needed" my 2-3 hours of internet or TV time. I've whittled this down to an hour of relaxing TV and minimal internet "surfing" except for designated breaks, so I can have a full day work and fun activities and not feel stressed for time.
Need to still be watchful and not declare victory early because in the past I've made progress then relapsed during stressful periods. But two months in and things are going great. Onward and upward.
