Author Topic: 30 Days of Self-Compassion  (Read 6620 times)

G-dog

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #100 on: May 23, 2018, 11:02:47 AM »
Is Greek yogurt with live culture helpful? Or any probiotics? I wonder if they could help with the nausea (assuming some of it is from your gut flora getting decimated by the antibiotics).

I hope you feel better soon @jane x

jane x

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #101 on: May 23, 2018, 11:07:59 AM »
Is Greek yogurt with live culture helpful? Or any probiotics? I wonder if they could help with the nausea (assuming some of it is from your gut flora getting decimated by the antibiotics).

I hope you feel better soon @jane x

I have a strong dairy allergy, so I can't do yogurt.  I've tried probiotics in the past and I didn't notice any difference.  I'm thinking of trying some sauerkraut to see if it helps with the gut flora, but I don't think it will help much with the nausea. 

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #102 on: May 23, 2018, 11:28:02 AM »
How've you been doing?

Better. My raging anxiety-depression thing from the weekend has largely subsided. The people who were particularly stressing me out have stopped (one calmed down, the other is away for the rest of the week). Although there may be some bad stuff with them coming next week (and I may have to politely interact with someone I very strongly dislike for very good reasons).

I was very worn out after the rough weekend, so I decided to cancel plans last night and tonight and put all my spoons in one basket so I'll have enough energy - tomorrow night I'm going out to dinner/drinks and a concert with some good (and very emotionally supportive) friends and we're going to have, I predict, a most excellent fun time. It will be good for me.

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #103 on: May 23, 2018, 01:29:34 PM »
Nausea: ginger anything (I like it whole/fresh in meals, but also as tea, etc)
Dairy-free probiotics: sauerkraut or capsules like you mentioned, plus coconut yogurt etc
Cow-free yogurts (if allergy is cow dairy vs all dairy): coconut, camel, goat, sheep, etc

G-dog

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #104 on: May 23, 2018, 01:49:31 PM »
Yes, lacto-fermented foods have the little beasties too. Kombucha?

I forgot about ginger - there is even some data on that.  Ginger tea?

jane x

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #105 on: May 24, 2018, 11:45:32 AM »
Yesterday after taking my morning pill I began to feel nausea and looked at my mug of coffee and realized it started when I began drinking it.  I'd only had a small bit of it but I stopped immediately and rooted around and found the last packet of peppermint tea and had that with a bit of honey and the nausea went away.  I haven't had any more nausea since then and am now thinking it might be the coffee (which I haven't had any of either.)  But just to play it safe I bought lots of mint tea and some Altoids and I've been drinking a couple of big mugs of the tea throughout the day.  I also stocked up on bland food. 

But I'm happy to report that so far so good.  Today is day 3 of the meds and I will be overjoyed if I can do the whole treatment without feeling sick. 

Thanks everyone!!!

koshtra

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #106 on: May 24, 2018, 11:48:19 AM »
Oh, hurray!!!

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #107 on: May 24, 2018, 11:48:29 AM »
Excellent, jane x!! Have been thinking about you lots. Glad to hear things have taken a turn for the better and that you may have identified a culprit.

madgeylou

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #108 on: May 24, 2018, 11:52:17 AM »
Awesome that you realized coffee may be making it worse, Jane X!

It took me years to stop ordering coffee, because it always made me feel terrible even though I loved the taste. Nowadays I just have a latte a couple times a month as a treat -- espresso doesn't seem to hurt my tummy.

As for me, I've been sleeping poorly again. It's my neck, hurting and waking me up and making it hard to get comfortable. Last night after tossing and turning from 2-4 am, I tried a new trick with my pillows that seemed to help. Sometimes it's really hard to admit that a habit is not working and needs to be switched up!

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #109 on: May 24, 2018, 11:53:00 AM »
My Self-Compassion Today

I work pretty hard. Really hard. On lots of things. (I also rest a lot, relax a lot, play a lot.) But my child's newest therapy schedule has been a real curve for me. I'd essentially asked myself to add that additional hard thing, without having identified ways to compensate. I was also trying to do it environmentally and frugally -bah, too much!

Last night I was really feeling pressed to the edge of Too Much, so today I allowed myself to ::gasp:: go home for its relatively short time. All I wanted to do was be home in a morning, alone, and scrub my house. So much to ask? No.

It's wonderful :)

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #110 on: May 24, 2018, 12:03:02 PM »
Coffee can DEFINITELY be tough on your stomach. When I was on the meds that made me nauseous I was pretty much living on Altoids and saltine crackers. I'm not big on herbal remedies (raised by a scientist, I need double-blind controlled studies on everything ;-) ) but the mints worked like magic.

Madgeylou, I use a foam pillow that I find very comfy 99% of the time, and then the other 1% of the time it makes my head ache, and I toss and turn until I figure out that I need to swap out for my "guest pillow" which is very soft. I wonder sometimes how humans evolved to be so bad at something as basic as sleeping. If we can't sleep without a specific sort of pillow arrangement, how did we ever survive in caves? :-)

Today I'm taking care of myself by overriding the frugality in a big way and signing up for COBRA health insurance, even though it probably means I'll be $2000 out of pocket for almost zero actual benefit. Because what if I get hit by a bus tomorrow? It's just money. And this means I can start physical therapy which I was supposed to do in April (but didn't because I had no insurance).

madgeylou

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #111 on: May 24, 2018, 12:06:17 PM »
Madgeylou, I use a foam pillow that I find very comfy 99% of the time, and then the other 1% of the time it makes my head ache, and I toss and turn until I figure out that I need to swap out for my "guest pillow" which is very soft. I wonder sometimes how humans evolved to be so bad at something as basic as sleeping. If we can't sleep without a specific sort of pillow arrangement, how did we ever survive in caves? :-)

hahaha exactly my thoughts at 3:30 am this morning :D

Today I'm taking care of myself by overriding the frugality in a big way and signing up for COBRA health insurance, even though it probably means I'll be $2000 out of pocket for almost zero actual benefit. Because what if I get hit by a bus tomorrow? It's just money. And this means I can start physical therapy which I was supposed to do in April (but didn't because I had no insurance).

Taking care of health is, I think, more important than frugality. After all if you are in bed writhing with pain, it's hard to enjoy money! I hope the PT helps!

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #112 on: May 24, 2018, 12:14:23 PM »
Today I'm taking care of myself by overriding the frugality in a big way and signing up for COBRA health insurance, even though it probably means I'll be $2000 out of pocket for almost zero actual benefit. Because what if I get hit by a bus tomorrow? It's just money. And this means I can start physical therapy which I was supposed to do in April (but didn't because I had no insurance).

Taking care of health is, I think, more important than frugality. After all if you are in bed writhing with pain, it's hard to enjoy money! I hope the PT helps!

I'm kind of mad about the whole thing, because they make you pay for the insurance retroactively. So I could have started the PT in April like I was supposed to and had it all reimbursed with the retroactive coverage. I just sent a check to pay for April and May insurance, which I never used. Blah. But I needed to sign up before the end of the month or lose access altogether.

koshtra

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #113 on: May 24, 2018, 01:13:42 PM »
Today I'm taking care of myself by overriding the frugality in a big way and signing up for COBRA health insurance, even though it probably means I'll be $2000 out of pocket for almost zero actual benefit. Because what if I get hit by a bus tomorrow? It's just money. And this means I can start physical therapy which I was supposed to do in April (but didn't because I had no insurance).

Taking care of health is, I think, more important than frugality. After all if you are in bed writhing with pain, it's hard to enjoy money! I hope the PT helps!

I'm kind of mad about the whole thing, because they make you pay for the insurance retroactively. So I could have started the PT in April like I was supposed to and had it all reimbursed with the retroactive coverage. I just sent a check to pay for April and May insurance, which I never used. Blah. But I needed to sign up before the end of the month or lose access altogether.

Crazy-making, isn't it? COBRA is a kinda sorta good thing, but it manages to feel like getting totally screwed over. Like the ACA, often.

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #114 on: May 24, 2018, 01:27:20 PM »
Crazy-making, isn't it? COBRA is a kinda sorta good thing, but it manages to feel like getting totally screwed over. Like the ACA, often.

Yeah. I mean, it's good that we have access to insurance, but it's handled so badly. And the whole concept of COBRA is frankly bizarre, but I guess it's part and parcel of the ways we have to twist our healthcare economy around to avoid single payer... "we want you to have insurance, but not enough to actually provide it, so we're making your ex-employer do it!"

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #115 on: May 25, 2018, 10:21:59 PM »
I thought some folks here might appreciate this article from the NYT on self-compassion:

https://nyti.ms/2wYBmJX


Serendip

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #116 on: May 26, 2018, 03:46:24 PM »
I thought some folks here might appreciate this article from the NYT on self-compassion:

https://nyti.ms/2wYBmJX

Thanks for sharing @Dollar Slice -- I love meditation, it truly taps my brain-loops in just the right places to catch those ruminating thoughts :)

Today I went for a hike with 4 others and one friend said "why don't we try all walking together in silence for the first 20 minutes just to connect with ourselves and nature before chatting"--it was an interesting way to start the walk and pay attention to what state of mind I was bringing to the experience (had slept in, so was almost late for the meeting).

Still have another week before I am scheduled back to work, practicing self-compassion by not booking extra shifts even though I feel some internal pressure to do so. Will try to sit and enjoy this spaciousness and not count the dollars that I am not making.

GeeVee

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #117 on: May 29, 2018, 05:05:29 AM »
bonjours,

Long term lurker here and this is my first post ever. Miss Jane touched a nerve here with her cystic acne, stress and rosacea. I have been there ! During warm summers, I had to take 3 months of antibiotics to keep it under control. However, very silly, after fainting with an anaphylactic shock, I eventually figured out that I am sensitive to high histamine levels. We all need histamine to function, but when I eat foods which are high in histamine (like tomatoes, red food in general, shellfish/shrimps, aged cheese, wine, liquorice, spices, pickled things, in short, everything tasty), my rosacea gets triggered and goes into full blown over drive. if I push it further, I get very interesting and very large hives all over.

When I did a short elimination diet, the itching on my face stopped (bliss!) , the acne went away and my skin went quiet. My stomach also stopped acting up. If I sin too much and eat unhealthy (for me), I pay the price with a big flare-up. Stress makes it worse. This is just my experience, but I spoke to people who had the same problem and also managed to reduce the problem by eliminating food products from their diet. I am going back to lurking now..

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #118 on: May 31, 2018, 09:52:31 PM »
Although there may be some bad stuff with them coming next week (and I may have to politely interact with someone I very strongly dislike for very good reasons).

Good news/bad news: I got sick and had to miss this particular event which I'd been stressing about a lot. I didn't actually know which day it would be, so it wasn't like I was secretly trying to miss it, I just got lucky. On the down side, of course, I'm sick ;-) Let myself miss two days of work and really rest, even though I won't get paid for them. I can afford it if I have to.

I've been feeling less depressed mostly, although I had a bad moment yesterday when I realized I'd dropped the ball on something for a friend. I started thinking about how self absorbed I've been lately and I felt terrible. Then of course my friend had to reassure me three times that it's NBD which made me feel like I'm making him do emotional labor on top of me dropping the ball. But other than that I'm feeling mostly OK. I think being sick was good for my mental health since I ended up having five days in a row off work (three day weekend plus two sick days).

jane x

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #119 on: July 13, 2018, 01:51:59 PM »
I hope everyone has been doing well.  I haven't been around for a while due to some computer-related pain issues, but I'd like to come back to this thread.  It was a place full of wonderful people and genuine support and caring, and I really miss it.

Yesterday I was kinda beating myself up over a minor mistake and then I thought about this thread and it changed my perspective immediately.  I was pretty amazed at how it changed my thinking, which led to acceptance, and then to a very clear solution for fixing the situation.  Magic!


joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #120 on: July 13, 2018, 02:31:02 PM »
Magic, indeed!

I wanted to post here some days ago, but thought I was maybe not supposed to because our 30 days might be up. LOL, as if I would get in trouble for that!

koshtra

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #121 on: July 13, 2018, 02:50:31 PM »
Could I see your MMM license, ma'am? Are you aware that you were going forty days in a thirty day zone?

G-dog

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #122 on: July 13, 2018, 03:06:16 PM »
Could I see your MMM license, ma'am? Are you aware that you were going forty days in a thirty day zone?

Hahaha!

She may have started then, but for some of us we have to restart frequently ;)

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #123 on: July 13, 2018, 03:06:55 PM »
LOL, koshtra! Nicely played :)

jane x

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #124 on: July 13, 2018, 03:30:14 PM »
Maybe we should rename the thread to avoid tickets and fines!  :)

A Life of Self-Compassion?

Probably better, but not as catchy and enticing as 30 Days.  Why is that?  Because we crave a quick fix?  30 Days to a New You!  Yes, please.  :)

I went back to therapy recently to process some stuff and it's been made clear to me, again, how much I need the practice of self-compassion.  I think we all do, but for those of us who had to adapt to hostile environments in order to survive, how crucial it is. 

I have a few things that I'm working on, but it occurs to me that before I begin the "working on" part, I might want to just work on acceptance and compassion first.  One of those things is my tendency to go off into fantasy or day dreaming and mentally check out of my life and my body.  It's such an ingrained habit that half of the time I don't even notice I'm doing it.  I've been practicing noticing it and gently bringing myself back into my body and treating myself the way I would a child who is  scared or nervous, making it a positive and soothing moment.  Sometimes, if I notice that it's just out of pure habit, I will gentle but matter-of-fact, so that I can learn that it's just the natural place to be (the present moment), rather than making it a big deal.   

p.s.  - I'm almost done with my acne antibiotics and my skin looks great!  I think next week is my last week and I've been able to avoid the dreaded nausea. 

jooni - what did you want to post about?

G-dog

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #125 on: July 13, 2018, 03:45:27 PM »
Quote
p.s.  - I'm almost done with my acne antibiotics and my skin looks great!  I think next week is my last week and I've been able to avoid the dreaded nausea. 

That's so great! IIRC that has been a challenge for you. Why do you think you have avoided the nausea? Is ginger helping?

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #126 on: July 13, 2018, 03:54:52 PM »
I wanted to post here some days ago, but thought I was maybe not supposed to because our 30 days might be up.

I thought the same thing :-)

jane x

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #127 on: July 13, 2018, 03:55:14 PM »
Quote
p.s.  - I'm almost done with my acne antibiotics and my skin looks great!  I think next week is my last week and I've been able to avoid the dreaded nausea. 

That's so great! IIRC that has been a challenge for you. Why do you think you have avoided the nausea? Is ginger helping?

I think it was the coffee.  I had been doing an elimination diet of sorts and was paying more attention to how foods made me feel.   I noticed the first couple of days that coffee made me feel nausea right away so I stopped it.  Eventually I was able to have it as long as it was a few hours before or after the meds.  I also relied quite heavily on the Altoid mints.  I was going to try ginger after the Altoids but never needed it.  Recently I was watching some Good Witch on Netflix and she was recommending ginger candy for nausea and it reminded me of this thread. 

I noticed that the meds did make me very sensitive to fruit, which I've noticed in the past.  I had fruit a couple of week ago and it went right through me and I also had some stomach cramps after eating it.  Maybe I should try the ginger candy just to change things up and to help me not feel deprived in having to give up fruit.  Do you know of a brand that makes it or a store I could try?  I've never seen it.

jane x

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #128 on: July 13, 2018, 03:57:22 PM »
I wanted to post here some days ago, but thought I was maybe not supposed to because our 30 days might be up.

I thought the same thing :-)

You guys are so conscientious.  I say we post whenever we feel like it! :)

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #129 on: July 13, 2018, 04:02:45 PM »
Fab about the skin changes that help you feel happier, jane x! Totally understand that :)

I have no idea what I wanted to post about the other day. But today I can say: The other day I went into a new space, with new people, who were doing new-to-me things. I was considered newly competent enough to be there. I felt so intimidated. I was near tears. I wanted to bolt. Instead, I told the other people I felt intimitated (naming it to good people always helps me), and to myself practiced breathing and telling myself kind messages -using my childhood nickname. ďItís okay. You can be here. You donít have to do a lot, you donít have to do more than you feel able. You really wanted to be part of this. I know you feel intimidated and scared. Hang in there. All you need to do is stay and breathe, anything else you manage is gravy, baby.Ē

I had one of the best times of my life.

I love Gin Gins ginger candies. I donít love the ďchewyĒ ones. I adore the softer ones -maybe theyíre the ones called crystallized ginger candy?- and their nonbrand equivalent in any store.

G-dog

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #130 on: July 13, 2018, 04:13:48 PM »
Iíve seen crystallized ginger in stores - actual ginger root preserved with sugar.  You were doing keto/paleo/low carb IIRC - Iím not sure youíd want this much sugar. I think there is also ginger tea.  You can likely make this with fresh ginger root and hot water. It would be a great iced tea.

Trader Joeís likely has something.

jane x

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #131 on: July 13, 2018, 05:07:05 PM »
I was doing low-carb but took a hiatus to take care of the skin issue.  Didn't want to over stress.  But I'm still keeping an eye on sugar consumption.  I'll look for these candies that you guys have mentioned and I might make some iced tea as well.  I can get ginger root easily.  Thanks, guys!

jooni - yay for you!  How awesome that you were able to, a) show up even though you were scared, b) sit with your discomfort, c) share your fear with others, d) practice self-soothing, e) practice loving-kindness with your self, f) leave yourself open enough to have fun once your fears subsided, and so much more.  Wow.  You're amazing.

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #132 on: July 17, 2018, 12:00:56 AM »
I've been doing absolutely terribly at self-compassion and taking care of myself in general. I never did get back into PT and every day I keep telling myself I'll make the appointment first thing tomorrow. I also want to make an appointment with a neurologist for my chronic migraines (I've had them for years and never saw a specialist) and maybe a therapist for the anxiety/low self-esteem issues I've been struggling with. I lost my job recently (they wanted to transfer me to an office 3000 miles away) and it's really been an emotional blow to me, I think because of the awful way the company/my colleagues handled it. I'm trying to take some time for myself and have a long staycation instead of immediately starting in with deciding what to do with the rest of my life.

I've gotten into this bizarre vicious cycle where if I think about my anxiety problems it makes me anxious (instant physical symptoms, tightness of chest etc) and if I think about being sad/hurt (like remembering that I cried yesterday) I immediately get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. As though I'm sad that I'm sad and anxious about anxiety, instead of being affected by major life events. No idea how to calm myself down...

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #133 on: July 17, 2018, 12:11:51 AM »
Hurting for you, DS :(

One trick my self-compassion teacher taught me was to hold an ice cube! A big sensory input like that can indeed quell a big emotional peak.

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #134 on: July 17, 2018, 12:13:54 AM »
jooni - yay for you!  How awesome that you were able to, a) show up even though you were scared, b) sit with your discomfort, c) share your fear with others, d) practice self-soothing, e) practice loving-kindness with your self, f) leave yourself open enough to have fun once your fears subsided, and so much more.  Wow.  You're amazing.

jane x, thank you very much for celebrating this with me :)    I had been thinking about your kind words off and on since you posted, but couldn't remember where the thread was and was too floaty to go looking.

I try to practice a LOT of bravery...so I need to practice a LOT of self-compassion!

G-dog

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #135 on: July 17, 2018, 06:49:00 AM »
I've been doing absolutely terribly at self-compassion and taking care of myself in general. I never did get back into PT and every day I keep telling myself I'll make the appointment first thing tomorrow. I also want to make an appointment with a neurologist for my chronic migraines (I've had them for years and never saw a specialist) and maybe a therapist for the anxiety/low self-esteem issues I've been struggling with. I lost my job recently (they wanted to transfer me to an office 3000 miles away) and it's really been an emotional blow to me, I think because of the awful way the company/my colleagues handled it. I'm trying to take some time for myself and have a long staycation instead of immediately starting in with deciding what to do with the rest of my life.

I've gotten into this bizarre vicious cycle where if I think about my anxiety problems it makes me anxious (instant physical symptoms, tightness of chest etc) and if I think about being sad/hurt (like remembering that I cried yesterday) I immediately get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. As though I'm sad that I'm sad and anxious about anxiety, instead of being affected by major life events. No idea how to calm myself down...

This is all still very raw and new. Being some9ne who always tries to control my emotions and feelings, I often end up reacting (erupting) apparently in response to a much smaller issue, but itís the pent up emotions about the real thing that are coming out (I think, iím Not an expert).  Sometimes itís just overall accumulated general stress for me.  I canít avoid or suppress my feelings forever, as hard as I try.

But, breathing exercises do help me. And just accepting that iím Just going to have to feel some unpleasant feelings to release some of the stress. I think what you are experiencing is completely normal. And I think you are doing great.  You donít have to jump immediately into doing any specific thing. But it gets tricky to also not let things languish too long.

How can we help you make those appointments? I do think they are important for your short term and long term health.

jane x

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #136 on: July 17, 2018, 03:47:12 PM »
Hugs, Dollar Slice.  I'm so sorry that you're hurting.  I think therapy would be a good way to work through some of the anxiety, loss and low self-esteem that are coming up as a result of what you're going through.  It's totally understandable that these things would come up.  I think processing it would help a great deal.

Serendip

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #137 on: July 18, 2018, 10:14:13 PM »
Oh,  self-compassion crew! I hope you are all finding sweet, summery ways to take care of your dear selves.

I had a strong re-occurence of back pain that scared me the other day (after experiencing a reduction in this particular pain after 6 years of chronic issues).

Since I'd recently been reading pain science literature (a point of interest for professional and personal reasons), I took it upon myself to try a gentle tactic they mentioned.
I visualized a healthy , calm brain then after an "all-fired-up-with-pain-sensation" brain..then I visualized gently massaging my brain so that it could relax and become a closer version to the healthy, pain-free brain.
It came in waves and it wasn't easy--but after about 20-25 minutes my pain was mostly eliminated.
It surprised me that it actually was effective but there you have it. Will have to try it again if the pain reappears.

Serendip

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #138 on: July 18, 2018, 10:15:29 PM »
@Dollar Slice  I hope you have found a few ways to work with these issues that work for you/feel comforting!

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #139 on: July 18, 2018, 10:57:04 PM »
@Dollar Slice  I hope you have found a few ways to work with these issues that work for you/feel comforting!

Thanks. I feel like I've accomplished exactly nothing this week. Current plan is to go out of town for a couple-few days (running home to Mom and Dad 'cause I'm always welcome there, at least). Next week I have fun things planned every evening and no plans for the daytime. Hoping to start doing some healthy, productive things like making those appointments and cleaning the apartment and going to the gym and cooking healthy food and stuff. I think I don't know where to start, so I keep going back to bed instead.

I keep putting things off thinking next week will be better... and it's bound to be actually better one of these weeks, right? Probably?

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #140 on: July 18, 2018, 10:59:19 PM »
Probably! Because you've just experienced one of life's shittiest things. Unless you take up heavy drinking or meth to cope, then yes, things are very likely to get better as the weeks pass :)

But, +1 to recommendations for therapy. I don't know how people manage without it. I don't!

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #141 on: July 18, 2018, 11:12:13 PM »
The really dumb thing is that I think my phone-related social anxiety is a big part of the appointments problem... (but I also haven't looked up doctors and found one to call so I can't just foist it on someone else)

Probably! Because you've just experienced one of life's shittiest things. Unless you take up heavy drinking or meth to cope, then yes, things are very likely to get better as the weeks pass :)

It's funny, in one of the many hours of lazing around I've done this week, I suddenly had the thought that if someone gave me some fun party drugs to try I'd probably take it. Which is really weird, since I've never had any interest in that kind of thing. But I guess there is something way down in the human psyche that thinks drugs are a good way to cope? Luckily, I haven't been offered fun party drugs in about 20 years so it's unlikely to come up ;-)

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #142 on: July 18, 2018, 11:18:44 PM »
Dear Forum Members,

Please not on offering the party drugs on Dollar Slice in the next four weeks.

Thank you,
Therapy Hog

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #143 on: July 18, 2018, 11:48:06 PM »
I think you should be worrying more about my musician friends who might want to cheer me up... ;-)  At least my asthma will keep me safe from the stoners.

Thank you,
Therapy Hog

Is the Therapy Hog some sort of mascot? Or like an emotional support dog? I'm picturing a little pink pig that you cuddle while you're in therapy...

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #144 on: July 18, 2018, 11:57:51 PM »
Maybe I am YOUR fuzzy pink pig mascot! You can cuddle me while you make the call for your first appt...

That or sit under a tree next to some water. This week, I managed to make my second and third of three recent, rare phone calls this way!

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #145 on: July 19, 2018, 06:46:41 AM »
@Dollar Slice - I hate using the phone too, though I wouldnít say itís a phobia, or an anxiety issue. Just pure hatred. I go online and try to find a way to schedule an appointment online / via email. Itís not always an option though.  I procrastinate so long when anything involves a simple damn phone call.

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #146 on: July 19, 2018, 07:48:14 AM »
^ Yep. My first of three this week (!!) took me six months to work up to.

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #147 on: July 19, 2018, 11:24:30 AM »
Oh,  self-compassion crew! I hope you are all finding sweet, summery ways to take care of your dear selves.

I had a strong re-occurence of back pain that scared me the other day (after experiencing a reduction in this particular pain after 6 years of chronic issues).

Since I'd recently been reading pain science literature (a point of interest for professional and personal reasons), I took it upon myself to try a gentle tactic they mentioned.
I visualized a healthy , calm brain then after an "all-fired-up-with-pain-sensation" brain..then I visualized gently massaging my brain so that it could relax and become a closer version to the healthy, pain-free brain.
It came in waves and it wasn't easy--but after about 20-25 minutes my pain was mostly eliminated.
It surprised me that it actually was effective but there you have it. Will have to try it again if the pain reappears.

Yay science! Pain science is really exciting these days.

I had all kinds of back trouble in my 30s and 40s. I'd have to miss work for days, sometimes. Flat on my back, having to crawl to get to the bathroom... all that. Gone now, and I'm lifting weights and lugging my massage table to outcalls all the time, at age 60. If you look at the incidence of back pain by age it actually declines from a peak in the mid-30s, keeps declining through the 40s and 50s and 60s, and sees only a modest upturn after that. Totally not the curve most people imagine.

Dollar Slice

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Re: 30 Days of Self-Compassion
« Reply #148 on: July 23, 2018, 05:00:00 PM »
Haven't managed to complete any phone calls yet, but did make some progress! Found a therapist and some migraine specialists that look promising and take my insurance. And I talked to (OK, online chatted with) my insurance company to make sure I have coverage/don't need referrals/etc. I feel so incredibly weird and out of place making an appointment with a therapist :-/  I can't figure out why I would have such a negative attitude about it, I can remember one particular comment from childhood that sort of soured me on it but you would think an entire adulthood of people talking positively about therapy (including the family member who made that negative childhood comment) would overcome that.

Mondays seem to be bad days for me lately. In bed all day with a migraine, feeling a bit better now but my back is killing me from being in bed all day so I don't want to go out to the thing I was planning (because they have very uncomfortable chairs there). Maybe I will get dressed and find some errands to run just to get me out of the house and feeling like I got something done.