Author Topic: Increasing social connections/social capital  (Read 63710 times)

woopwoop

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #300 on: May 06, 2018, 10:51:10 AM »
Yay to everyone making some springtime plans to get out there!

Went to a birthday party for a friend, started talking with her neighbor who is both introverted and awesome but she doesn't get out much either. We talked for an hour and at the end of the night said that we would see each other in a year and pick back up ;)

Did a zumba autism charity dance thing with friends.

Made chocolate truffles and gave them to our neighbor who has been so generous with giving us her daughter's hand me downs. I feel like I can't do enough for them, she seriously has saved me hundreds of dollars in clothes and shoes and things.

My next goal is starting a Sunday picnic thing with nearby families, so that we can hopefully have a nice community hangout that isn't church-based.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #301 on: May 06, 2018, 12:52:33 PM »
I know a way to get in touch with people. Walk around with a basket full of green edible plants. I have made two trips and at both trips I had some women asking me what I had in my basket and telling me that they were very interested in the subject of edible plants.
I am currently doing a course. I got along very well with the woman sitting beside my. She is a former cook and very essy to talk to. She luves a couple of hours driving from me. But she invited me for a trip further north in the summer, in the vicinity of our cabin. I hope it fits with our summer holiday, but I'm not sure.

HappierAtHome

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #302 on: May 06, 2018, 07:47:25 PM »
I'm doing well at this, but have pushed it too far in the opposite direction and am feeling physically exhausted from all my socialising. From now on will try to make plans that are at better times of the day for me, and less demanding generally.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #303 on: May 06, 2018, 10:14:20 PM »
I'm doing well at this, but have pushed it too far in the opposite direction and am feeling physically exhausted from all my socialising.

I guess if it were easy we wouldn't need a thread for it :-)

I went out tonight with a few friends and totally ran out of steam before the end of the night due to some painful medical issues sapping my energy. Oof. I don't think anyone noticed, but I snuck out without saying goodbye to most of them.

sui generis

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #304 on: May 06, 2018, 10:27:24 PM »
We have a baby shower invite for next month.  Pros:  they are friends we want to invest in and maintain (even though they are having a kid and we will rarely see them for the next 18 years), we can practice chatting with people we don't know, and get a little social infusion.  Cons:  We don't like children or baby shower games and the consumerist angle of showers is a downer.  Pretty torn on this one.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #305 on: May 07, 2018, 12:15:20 AM »
Then finally I seem to make a solid local friendship. It's a very interesting fellow PhD who is hilarious in many ways. I should get him into less spendy habits (he's likes designer stuff, but also if it's from a thrift shop!) but we regularly go for some Vietnamese food together which is great fun. He's in social sciences and makes me learn a lot about the extremely rich top 0.5% of Vietnam, while I teach him about the issues STEM PhD students run into.

Please don't overdo it. He is an adult who can decide for himself what he spends his money on.

Astatine

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #306 on: May 07, 2018, 05:10:58 AM »
I had a pretty full-on weekend. DH and I had lunch with an school friend of mine, her husband and their small child on Saturday. It was nice to see them but a bit draining. My friend means well but sometimes lacks a bit of real-time empathy and talked about difficult stuff without acknowledging how difficult it was for me. I'll probably leave it for a few months (or more) before I arrange another get-together. My emotional resilience is low these days.

Then that evening we went to our neighbour's 60th birthday party. We only knew his partner at the party but it was fun enough. I had a few ok-but-awkward conversations with some people I had nothing in common with and then eventually a younger person showed up and DH and I had some good chats with them. I was sooooo tired afterwards though.

Then on Sunday we went to a small child's birthday party and caught up with some people we know. It was fun (in between the kids getting upset at each other) and nice to see people.

This weekend we have a couple of events - a Tupperware party and a Eurovision party. Plus I've arranged to have lunch with a work friend this week. 

Yay to everyone making some springtime plans to get out there!

Or autumn/winter plans ;) /aussie

Tris Prior

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #307 on: May 07, 2018, 08:13:34 AM »
I went to the Chicago MMM meetup last week and it was fun! I was amazed that there were some people there who are lurkers on the forum. That takes nerve!

This weekend I volunteered at my garden org's plant sale, both days. I had fun and talked about gardening with total strangers, but most of them have their gardens at other sites (our garden org maintains I think six different gardens around the city). So I'm not sure I'll ever see these folks again, unless we end up at the same events. It still was fun, though. I think I do better socializing when there's also a task to do, rather than just sitting around at some event trying to think of something to talk about.

Hirondelle

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #308 on: May 07, 2018, 09:49:50 AM »
Then finally I seem to make a solid local friendship. It's a very interesting fellow PhD who is hilarious in many ways. I should get him into less spendy habits (he's likes designer stuff, but also if it's from a thrift shop!) but we regularly go for some Vietnamese food together which is great fun. He's in social sciences and makes me learn a lot about the extremely rich top 0.5% of Vietnam, while I teach him about the issues STEM PhD students run into.

Please don't overdo it. He is an adult who can decide for himself what he spends his money on.

Oops, bad communication from my side! I meant to say less spendy habits while hanging out with me as we always go out for food/drinks, but the designer bag example kinda ruined that context. I'm planning to invite him over to my place next time as I have some fancy Vietnamese coffee that'd be sad not to share with someone who loves it as much as I do.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #309 on: May 08, 2018, 06:58:51 AM »
Today I am staying at home because I felt groggy this morning and had no voice and hadn't slept.
I just went out to check whether some mushrooms (morells) had started to grow behind my house. They tend to grow in wood chips.
My neighbour that I only know a little bit was outside, gardening. She is a pensioner. Her garden is full of wood chips. So I went to chat with her and told her that her garden might be full of this quite exclusive mushroom. I showed her one that I had found growing in the gravel road. And the poisinous double that is growing a few meters further in the road.
Then we chatted a bit more about why I was home, whether we liked the house. And our hobbies. She wants to learn to recognize bird sounds. While I am learning about edible weeds.
She told me I was free to roam her garden for this edible mushroom. :-) That wasn't even my intention to tell her.

Tris Prior

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #310 on: May 08, 2018, 09:02:17 AM »
More garden chatting! An artist I know from doing craft fairs together has a plot in my community garden, just a few plots away from mine. Had a nice conversation yesterday about growing things and preventing bunnies from eating our lettuce.


Bateaux

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #311 on: May 08, 2018, 11:35:47 AM »
I seem to be going backwards on the social connections/ friends making.  I'm becoming ever more introverted but really want to be gregarious.

Serendip

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #312 on: May 10, 2018, 10:45:12 AM »
Reached out to a friend I see infrequently, and going for dinner at her place tonight.

Bee21

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #313 on: May 12, 2018, 06:40:48 PM »
Well, I hosted an impromptu dinner party which went well. 'Bub, I invited m and co for dinner, do you mind?' Hmmm. My husband has a tendency to invite people over.

 I was a social butterfly the last couple of weeks with all the travelling we did, so I really need some peace and quiet now.  I had some great conversations with people I will never see again, but no regrets, it was very entertaining. Made new friends via the boat club we are more and more involved, one of the couples even lives in the same suburb. We played cards against humanity with people we just met, which is apparently a risky move but it went well.

Heard the most shocking divorce stories ever. OMG. It is amazing what people share a after a couple of drinks.

Serendip

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #314 on: May 13, 2018, 08:39:50 AM »
-Had a delightful dinner with the friend I mention a post ago, then reached out to another to make plans for a hike/swim this week.

-Met some new-ish neighbors and had a lovely interaction with them

Astatine

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #315 on: May 15, 2018, 01:51:39 AM »
omg I just made an instant new friend! Randomly we were taking down a Pokemon gym* at the same time at a shopping centre. And we just hit it off straight away and chatted excitedly for more than half an hour. And when it was time for me to go, she suggested adding each other on FB so now we can contact each other to meet up and play Pokemon Go together. :D I *never* make friends quickly so this was pretty amazing.

In other news, this past weekend was pretty social, which was fun but so tiring. On Saturday I went to a Tupperware party and talked to people. Then Sunday was a Eurovision party at a friend's house followed by going out to dinner with some other friends. Yay!

I've also organised a girl's night out (I HATE that phrase but I can't think of a better one - ladies night out is even worse IMO) at a restaurant which does cocktails. That will be in a couple of weeks. Yay me!



*Pokemon Go is a phone game that is mapped on to the real world, so you have to go out and about to play the game.

KBecks

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #316 on: May 15, 2018, 06:33:59 AM »
I went to lunch with a friend from my old toddler playgroup yesterday  morning.  We haven't seen each other much since our kids were small, but now they are in middle school!  It was supposed to be a small group but some of the other women bailed out and so it was a nice one on one, more comfortable anyway.

I need to make more plans!

june28

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #317 on: May 15, 2018, 12:59:07 PM »
It isn't much, but I had planned a weekend away to avoid going to my neighborhood block party. That's pretty typical of the lengths I will go to to avoid social interaction with lots of people at once. Anyway, you all inspired me to postpone it. Even though I'm nauseous thinking about it, I will be hanging around strangers neighbors on Saturday.

Serendip

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #318 on: May 15, 2018, 05:01:07 PM »
It isn't much, but I had planned a weekend away to avoid going to my neighborhood block party. That's pretty typical of the lengths I will go to to avoid social interaction with lots of people at once. Anyway, you all inspired me to postpone it. Even though I'm nauseous thinking about it, I will be hanging around strangers neighbors on Saturday.

Good job @june28! Just think, you might make a lovely connection or two-- and since it's your own block party, you can disappear back into your house for occasional breathers (which is what I would be tempted to do!)

sui generis

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #319 on: May 15, 2018, 05:11:44 PM »
I am super excited to see my old college roommate for dinner on Thursday.  We haven't seen each other since last year when we celebrated our birthdays together at another fancy dinner.  He's bringing a friend who I've met before and like, so I guess that makes this feel like an actual effort that belongs in this thread.  Although I don't see old college roommate often, and of course it is important to tend to old relationships as well as new, it doesn't feel like I have to try very hard with this one (which is also nice!).

gimmickless

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #320 on: May 16, 2018, 06:23:23 AM »
Went to my first town hall meeting last night.  Couple presentations on small business ownership and met a retired legislator, which was fruitful.  The Q&A session was dominated by two old complainers, which was not so fruitful.

90% of successful networking is showing up. Gotta keep remembering that.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #321 on: May 16, 2018, 10:15:13 AM »
Been feeling very low lately... haven't done anything social (except a visit for Mother's Day) in about 10 days. I wrote and deleted a bunch of messages inviting people to do stuff, because I just didn't feel like putting myself out there :-/  But I did manage to send one invitation finally, and they were so excited about it (replied with "yes yes yes!!!!!!"). So that made me feel good. But it isn't for a couple of weeks, so I should really push myself to get out and see some people.

Trifle

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #322 on: May 19, 2018, 06:03:49 AM »
I've been very inward-focused and haven't done a thing socially in the last 10 days or so, but yesterday I did make a date with some co-workers to go out after work next week.  I genuinely like these coworkers, so I'm really looking forward to it.  Not sure if we will just go to a bar, or maybe I will suggest this game cafe I discovered.  It's really fun.

Carrie

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #323 on: May 19, 2018, 07:16:50 AM »
Our neighborhood pool opened this weekend and on our first visit I saw & visited with three people/families I know. Should have lots of opportunities throughout summer to see friends there.
I had coffee with new friend/ neighbor last week at her house.
Next weekend we'll have family in town.
I've made phone calls & lots of interaction that normally I'd have anxiety about (but didn't!), regarding some renovations we're starting.

HappierAtHome

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #324 on: May 25, 2018, 03:25:10 AM »
Just popped across the road and lent something to a neighbour :D nice to reinforce those friendly local connections!

Linea_Norway

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #325 on: May 25, 2018, 03:55:11 AM »
I have been doing a course a couple of evenings, of learning to recognize edible weeds. Of Wednesday we went picking plants. I made some nice contact with some of the women on that course. And yesterday we made food, where I also had good contact with some of them.

But I did freak out a bit yesterday. We were making the food in 2 kitchens, with 17 people or so moving around. I was working hard on my tasks. Many others just hang around, standing in the way in the already full room. Some speaking with a very loud voice, which makes others talk back with their loudest voice. It was extremely stressful. I even asked a person to please use an "inside voice", a term from Norwegian kindergartens.

I was stupid enough to leave from there without exchanging information. But I have all the email addresses, I'm just not sure who is who. But I think I will go through all the addresses, and try to find a face on the internet, fitting to the name. If I recognize a face, I will invite the person as a facebook friend.
One of them that I had most contact with is not on facebook. Maybe I'll send her an email to stay in touch.

I will see the teacher again in the weekend on a mushroom trip we are both going to. She wanted to join me later on a mushroom control event, which will be in the autumn. There you need to be 2.

Yesterday we were also visited by another lady who is good at mushrooms and greens. We talked a bit and I will probably see her again at later events. I had seen her before, but never talked to her. Stupid me: this woman has the kind of face with mouth ends pointing downwards, not showing happiness. And somehow this turned me off to talk to her. When we talked yesterday, she was nice, so I should learn not to judge people on their face.

Raenia

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #326 on: May 25, 2018, 07:58:18 AM »
I haven't read through the whole thread, but I love this idea.  I am a very introverted homebody, and easily fall out of touch with people, so I want to encourage myself to keep up with people, especially my local friends.  To start off:

 - Went to a game night yesterday that a friend was hosting and got to hang out for a few hours playing a new game.  It is usually hard for us to go to these, as they run so late on a weeknight, but this week they were able to start earlier and so we were able to go.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #327 on: May 25, 2018, 08:35:41 AM »
Been struggling a lot lately (can't shake depression since a friend passed away a few weeks back) but had a great and very social night out last night. I hadn't been able to get myself to invite the people I wanted to invite to an event, but then one of them heard about it independently and invited me :-) That gave me the confidence to invite another mutual friend. We all went together and it was lovely. And they were so sweet to me, both of them have had losses of people they were close to in the last year, so they totally get how I'm feeling right now.

Bonus: one of them started talking about astrology and asked what my birthday is... It's next weekend (and I hadn't made any plans). So she decided we should go out and celebrate, which makes me really happy because I would have felt sad if I didn't make plans, but I'm really not up to badgering people into celebrating my birthday...

sui generis

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #328 on: May 25, 2018, 09:01:42 AM »
Sorry to hear of your loss @Dollar Slice.  That sounds *really* rough.  But glad you have found people to celebrate your birthday with!  It's really nice to celebrate birthdays, especially when you don't have to feel like you have to force people to celebrate with you!  I was just complaining on my journal about my mom and stepdad coming up to visit for my birthday (which is ALSO next weekend!) and how I had to do so much work for my own birthday!  But actually, it was nice that they wanted to come and celebrate with me, otherwise it probably would have been just me and my BF trying to find something to do together. 

So I'm grateful that family is coming to visit, although there's definitely some mixed feelings, as there can be with family sometimes!

This weekend, I'm going to Santa Fe, NM with some good friends, and a few soon-to-be friends?  Ugh, trying to be optimistic about meeting new people.  our friends rented a big house, so hopefully I like these other people enough to be in pretty close contact for 72 hours!

Dollar Slice

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #329 on: May 25, 2018, 09:59:41 AM »
Sorry to hear of your loss @Dollar Slice.  That sounds *really* rough.  But glad you have found people to celebrate your birthday with!  It's really nice to celebrate birthdays, especially when you don't have to feel like you have to force people to celebrate with you!  I was just complaining on my journal about my mom and stepdad coming up to visit for my birthday (which is ALSO next weekend!) and how I had to do so much work for my own birthday!  But actually, it was nice that they wanted to come and celebrate with me, otherwise it probably would have been just me and my BF trying to find

I am a big birthday-celebration fan in general, but usually I'll either do something with my parents or I'll find a fun concert to go to with friends or something. But my parents have been super busy with a bunch of emergencies and nothing's been planned and I didn't feel like bugging them about it (my mom, for example, is currently 1000 miles away taking care of her sister who just had surgery).

What day is your birthday, maybe we're birthday twins? ;-)  One of my close friends has a birthday on June 4 (mine is the 2nd) so we dream of celebrating together, but we live on different continents so it hasn't happened yet...

sui generis

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #330 on: May 25, 2018, 10:40:06 AM »
Sorry to hear of your loss @Dollar Slice.  That sounds *really* rough.  But glad you have found people to celebrate your birthday with!  It's really nice to celebrate birthdays, especially when you don't have to feel like you have to force people to celebrate with you!  I was just complaining on my journal about my mom and stepdad coming up to visit for my birthday (which is ALSO next weekend!) and how I had to do so much work for my own birthday!  But actually, it was nice that they wanted to come and celebrate with me, otherwise it probably would have been just me and my BF trying to find

I am a big birthday-celebration fan in general, but usually I'll either do something with my parents or I'll find a fun concert to go to with friends or something. But my parents have been super busy with a bunch of emergencies and nothing's been planned and I didn't feel like bugging them about it (my mom, for example, is currently 1000 miles away taking care of her sister who just had surgery).

What day is your birthday, maybe we're birthday twins? ;-)  One of my close friends has a birthday on June 4 (mine is the 2nd) so we dream of celebrating together, but we live on different continents so it hasn't happened yet...
Mine is the 3rd, so I guess we have the beginnings of a straight!  @diapasoun was saying her birthday is around then too.  She might be one of our birthday twins, or complete our straight!

diapasoun

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #331 on: May 25, 2018, 01:17:37 PM »
Sorry to hear of your loss @Dollar Slice.  That sounds *really* rough.  But glad you have found people to celebrate your birthday with!  It's really nice to celebrate birthdays, especially when you don't have to feel like you have to force people to celebrate with you!  I was just complaining on my journal about my mom and stepdad coming up to visit for my birthday (which is ALSO next weekend!) and how I had to do so much work for my own birthday!  But actually, it was nice that they wanted to come and celebrate with me, otherwise it probably would have been just me and my BF trying to find

I am a big birthday-celebration fan in general, but usually I'll either do something with my parents or I'll find a fun concert to go to with friends or something. But my parents have been super busy with a bunch of emergencies and nothing's been planned and I didn't feel like bugging them about it (my mom, for example, is currently 1000 miles away taking care of her sister who just had surgery).

What day is your birthday, maybe we're birthday twins? ;-)  One of my close friends has a birthday on June 4 (mine is the 2nd) so we dream of celebrating together, but we live on different continents so it hasn't happened yet...
Mine is the 3rd, so I guess we have the beginnings of a straight!  @diapasoun was saying her birthday is around then too.  She might be one of our birthday twins, or complete our straight!

Oh dang. I'm a Maybaby still, though very close to you all (and celebrating on the 2nd, so let's party in spirit?).

Linea_Norway

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #332 on: May 27, 2018, 01:25:38 AM »
Today I am going on a mushroom walk with a retired professor in the field and another 20 people with some mushroom knowledge. I know some of them from earlier trips, so it is a nice meetup. Not too far from home, 40 min driving or so.

A friend invited DH and me for a trip on their RIB, a rubber boat type made for speeding. It is to celebrate her Bf's birthday. I hope DH can for this time forget about his aversion for noisy speed boats and just join the trip. We were also to visit an island where there is something to see and where we have all been before.

Hirondelle

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #333 on: May 27, 2018, 05:51:01 AM »
I went to a party of my sports club last night and it turned out really really well. I was relatively early so it was just the board there at that point, which was good as I could get to know everyone very well. I hadn't been to any non-training activities of them yet due to not knowing any people and being too shy to just go to one of the drinks by myself. Today I knew someone from my training hour would come (though she arrived 2h later) which gave me the courage to just show up anyway.

Got to know some cool people from both my club and another befriended club and had a very fun night in general. And as it was the clubs birthday party they had free drinks and as I was early and many people showed up waaaay later they kept giving me coins. My first 3 beers were on them so that was a Mustachian win too!

HappierAtHome

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #334 on: May 27, 2018, 05:57:55 AM »
Had a chat with both sets of immediate neighbours this evening.

Earlier today somebody knocked on the door and gave me a bottle of wine to say thank you for a Buy Nothing item! She lives a few blocks away so there's a fair chance we'll run into each other again :-)

Raenia

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #335 on: May 27, 2018, 06:33:45 AM »
My partner ran into our upstairs neighbors while taking out the trash yesterday, and chatted a little while.  They invited us to dinner one day next week.  I'll make a dessert to bring to say thank you.  Hopefully we'll all hit it off and we'll invite them back in exchange.

pachnik

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #336 on: May 27, 2018, 07:04:21 AM »
I joined a meet-up group for women my age.  I had been looking for a book club but couldn't find one in my area.  I'll keep checking meet up but I also don't want something that is far away.

Not sure if I mentioned here, I am going to a Tuesday night yoga class at my local community centre.  Not really a social activity but I really enjoy it so will keep going.  You can whisper a bit before the class starts and then chat a little while exiting. 

Serendip

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #337 on: May 27, 2018, 06:53:34 PM »
-Went on a hike with folks who want to connect with people in ways that don't involve drinking (our town has quite a party culture)
 While I do drink, I am definitely up for supporting this type of event and a friend was one of the organizers..

-Was cold-water swimming and a woman approached me to chat about it. Turns out we both are interested in cold-water therapy and she might start a local group so we can gather more people around this

Astatine

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #338 on: May 27, 2018, 07:03:07 PM »
I went to a birthday morning tea yesterday for a couple of people I know. It was fun, even though i was a bit nervous going (I knew I was going to be asked about some difficult personal stuff and managed to pass on my news quickly and then request a subject change, which worked ok).

Then had weekly dinner with our friends last night which was nice and I felt very supported.

This morning I had a Messenger chat with an old friend, briefly shared my difficult news, and then chatted about other stuff.

And I've been keeping in touch on Messenger with my new BFF who I met through Pokemon Go. Hopefully will catch up with her again this week.


better late

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #339 on: May 27, 2018, 09:04:18 PM »
We invited a bunch of people over for a get together this weekend. So many RSVPd no with holiday travel plans and graduations conflicting with our date...I was really getting queasy about it. And then the day of the event we had a couple cancel so it was getting to be a very small group. I was super anxious. And then people arrived and it was fun and lots of laughs. While ideally it would have been a bigger group, we still had fun.  I wish I could say it makes it easier to host the next one...

Bee21

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #340 on: May 27, 2018, 09:24:25 PM »
Had a very social weekend. Yesterday we had people around all they (was good, but too long. I can't behave well that long. Like 10am-5pm). The men had a working bee, the kids played, women chatted and provided food. Hmmmm.

also, we visited some schoolyard friends for drinks on Sat, who also invited an other family with the same medical issues as we are dealing with. This is a 1 in 10000 genetic thing, so it is great to know people living so close, but it just made me so sad.  In comparison to them, it looks like we dodged the bullet, my child has only a few mild symptoms which is mostly an inconvenience, not a major drama (yet), but I was horrified to hear the problems they are dealing with. I shouldn't complain at all. I initially wanted to join the support group for families with the same condition, but it looks like I am not ready.

Carrie

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #341 on: May 27, 2018, 10:20:17 PM »
I'm feeling overwhelmed.
This week I've met a friend at the pool 3x, which was fun and relaxing.  We had kid-grade graduation - way too much crowd and polite interaction with strangers/acquaintances. Skipped the class party, kid didn't want to go. (Whew!)
Then had sisters & fam over (from OOT) on Sat & Sun. Looking forward to just my own little family tomorrow.
This week I'm planning to meet up with a friend or two at neighborhood pool, and start some home reno projects.
As soon as the home projects are done I'll start up with biweekly  (or some regular interval) dinner gatherings.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #342 on: May 28, 2018, 06:26:31 AM »
Today I am going on a mushroom walk with a retired professor in the field and another 20 people with some mushroom knowledge. I know some of them from earlier trips, so it is a nice meetup. Not too far from home, 40 min driving or so.

The trip was niced. I had good contact with some of the people I knew from earlier and met some new ones. We found some mushrooms, despite it being crispy dry here.

A friend invited DH and me for a trip on their RIB, a rubber boat type made for speeding. It is to celebrate her Bf's birthday. I hope DH can for this time forget about his aversion for noisy speed boats and just join the trip. We were also to visit an island where there is something to see and where we have all been before.

I had misunderstood. My friend's BF did not have a birthday. It was only a boat trip.
DH really hates RIBs and other speedsboats. He figured that he would really not be nice company on such a trip. I was thinking of excuses how to tell my friend. But I thought that if I make something up, we will probably receive a new invitation for a boat trip some time later. So I decided to be honest and blame DH. I told her he dislikes fast boats, thank you for the invitation, but no thanks, we rather meet you again on some other occasion. I got a reply back with OK. So I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship. I also understand DH, who said he would have hated the whole trip and would have been annoyed at everything about it. So would I have been, as I also hate such boats.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #343 on: May 31, 2018, 01:21:16 AM »
Yesterday we had the yearly membership meeting from the private road organization that I am leading this year. I had been dreading it big time. I had expected people to react in a bit of a hostile way.
But all in all, the discussions were polite. Our suggestions were accepted, with small positive modifications. A very difficult road case was discussed well, but ended with a very good solution that everyone agreed on.

I didn't want to lead the whole group. Not that I'm afraid for people, but I have a low voice and people often have difficulty hearing me. So I wrote the notes, while someone else lead the meeting.

I wasn't really a social event to make friends, but was a social experience nevertheless and something I had been dreading bigtime. A guy who I know came to me with some questions about hiking elsewhere in the country. As I had walked one of these routes, I could give him advice.

Raenia

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #344 on: May 31, 2018, 06:04:58 AM »
My partner ran into our upstairs neighbors while taking out the trash yesterday, and chatted a little while.  They invited us to dinner one day next week.  I'll make a dessert to bring to say thank you.  Hopefully we'll all hit it off and we'll invite them back in exchange.

We did go to this, though it turned out to be a cook-out of mostly college age folks.  We didn't stay long since it was a weeknight (it is summer break for them, but not for us working stiffs!) but it was nice to chat with them a bit.  Exhausting, though!  I'm not that far out of college myself, but they just seem so young now.

woopwoop

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #345 on: May 31, 2018, 12:32:15 PM »
Invited a couple over for dinner next week that I met through a hiking group. Their toddler is about the same age as ours, hoping we hit it off! Finding couple friends is like the hardest thing I've ever done, like dating but with 4-way intersectional issues. I don't know how polyamorous people pull it off, lol.

Serendip

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #346 on: May 31, 2018, 01:58:35 PM »
Invited a couple over for dinner next week that I met through a hiking group. Their toddler is about the same age as ours, hoping we hit it off! Finding couple friends is like the hardest thing I've ever done, like dating but with 4-way intersectional issues. I don't know how polyamorous people pull it off, lol.

Oh, this is both funny and a great question :)

We've had a few social events this week and this morning, I was so exhausted from an all-day event yesterday that I slept until almost 9am (we usually get up between 6:30 & 7:30) I bowed out of another event today so that I could have some solo time at home..tidying and podcasts as a rejuvenation recipe.


woopwoop

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #347 on: June 01, 2018, 12:46:42 PM »
I just made a Father's Day craft party for next week and invited 16 other mom friends to come make Sharpie mug presents. Now I feel sick. What if nobody comes? What if everybody comes?  AHHHHHHHHH

expatartist

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #348 on: June 02, 2018, 03:56:57 AM »
Have been trying to meet with a friend-of-a-friend for months. We've been virtually introduced as she's looking for ideas on how to utilize a former temple space she's inherited / leased for art or 'wellness' or cultural projects. Finally we're meeting tomorrow afternoon and I hope we can get to know one another and collaborate someday on this or another project.

First thing tomorrow AM a corporate HR colleague has offered to take me on an exploratory walk of our neighborhood. She's returned to this part of town reluctantly to take care of her mum, and I'm still learning what's where. So hopefully this can benefit both of us. I'm always slightly terrified of yet fascinated by those in our corporate divisions. They've often been with the foundation for decades, know everything about everyone, and are mostly very old-school Hong Kong: family here for generations, there's an entire level of etiquette and understanding in three+ continents, cultures and languages I can only grasp the surface of. But I try as best as possible to adapt my mid-American manners and so far that's worked ok, especially when keeping wine out of it.

Since I'm here for the long haul and not just flitting through like most foreigners in HK, I'm keen to meet more people from the Territory. Their insights and wisdom mean a lot.

KBecks

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Re: Increasing social connections/social capital
« Reply #349 on: June 02, 2018, 05:37:56 AM »
I just made a Father's Day craft party for next week and invited 16 other mom friends to come make Sharpie mug presents. Now I feel sick. What if nobody comes? What if everybody comes?  AHHHHHHHHH

That is really cool!  Have fun with it.  :)