Author Topic: Healthy Choices in 2018  (Read 91171 times)

Slow&Steady

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #950 on: June 21, 2018, 07:12:48 AM »
Ah, the friendly stranger...awesome!  I try very hard to say hi to everybody.  We live near a retirement home and often the residents are out walking.  My dad lived like that and I know how lonely it can be...I always try to strike up a conversation.  I think I need to keep a promise to myself, one that I made when my dad passed two years  ago (oh dear, almost to the day).  I need to volunteer at the full care home.  Dad was there at the end and I saw so many lonely dear folks, with no visiting family....I will do this.  They are sad places indeed..

Tried some cream in my coffee the other day.  The next day I coughed all through yoga..my lungs were all mucousy.  I keep thinking itís in my head...but I donít know now....dairy free is working for me, I just worry about food restriction  as I already have food allergies (wheat, gluten, peanuts, walnuts, minor egg and corn).  I still have yet to use any asthma meds...thatís at least two months! Hubby says I seem so much better, why eat the stuff....I should listen to him!

Went kayaking the last few days....it is the most peaceful thing!

Food restriction folks unite!! 

I am only dairy, soy, and egg free (and it looks like soon to be coconut) for the nursing baby but I feel so much better I have thought about if I should/would/can continue when she is done nursing.  It makes eating anywhere but at home pretty miserable but my health and baby's health have improved pretty dramatically.

Serendip

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #951 on: June 22, 2018, 07:40:00 PM »
I have a week home by myself so am reducing allergens to see how I feel.

No major symptoms but my energy is currently quite low, I feel a deep fatigue and in the past I have found that eating a simple diet helped with that. ..so starting tomorrow I shall limit wheat, dairy and refined sugars. And of course processed food/alcohol.
All members of my family have sensitivities so I suppose it is silly to think that I am scot-free of them even though they don't show up as apparently.

Plus, my healthy choices have been indulgent as of late so am feeling the desire to start summer off afresh.

furrychickens

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #952 on: June 23, 2018, 05:13:55 AM »
Iíve been writing about this in my journal, but Iíve realized that the culture here of relentless optimization has really set me up with a lot of mental hate loop triggers. Iíve cut way back on things I track financially (mainly homesteading related things) and how much I share in my journal. Trying to be much more relaxed about money, to the point that until my mental health gets better our progress towards FI will likely be much slower, but hey, ďif you havenít got your health, you havenít got anything.Ē (Props to anyone who knows where that phrase comes from ;) ).

As a result of that, I started my third journal for the year.

Barely scratched the surface so far of my CBT therapy program but the realization above should provide some major benefits as it bakes in.

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #953 on: June 23, 2018, 08:33:36 AM »
LOVE all of that, furrychickens!!

(FWIW, I spend a LOT on staying happy, cheating, skirting through life, heh heh. I'm acutely aware of how much better my savings rate could be, but man, that happiness is pretty darned valuable to me and this level of "free spending" and nonoptimizing has created the most happiness I've experienced.)

furrychickens

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #954 on: June 23, 2018, 08:54:52 AM »
LOVE all of that, furrychickens!!

(FWIW, I spend a LOT on staying happy, cheating, skirting through life, heh heh. I'm acutely aware of how much better my savings rate could be, but man, that happiness is pretty darned valuable to me and this level of "free spending" and nonoptimizing has created the most happiness I've experienced.)

Cool :)

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #955 on: June 24, 2018, 11:08:28 PM »
furry, you crossed my mind several times today -like mini meditations.

It kept occurring to me how hard you work. Yeah, you've optimized. You optimized your finances, your kids' schooling, your food sources, your hobbies, your food processing, your diet, your transportation, your yard... all while also tending lovingly to your marriage. Dude, YOU HAVE DONE SO MUCH. Man. I prioritize several of those things, too. I used to prioritize all of them (though never got to the point of mini-ranching) but did find I had to call it quits. When one new variable arose in my life, I had to make some tough decisions about what to let go of. Sometimes I'm a bit nostalgic for those, but 99.9% of the time I'm just relieved and happy. Sometimes we're really doing more than we can. It *seems* like we can, because we're doing it...but the internal depletion is a helpful message.

I'm so glad you're doing the self-care of reprioritizing and of honouring your need for a touch more privacy sometimes. You've done more than can really be expected! You can be proud of that. And you really deserve to have some more room for YOU. You're a pretty awesome person. I hope you really, really, really know that.

furrychickens

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #956 on: June 25, 2018, 06:31:03 AM »
furry, you crossed my mind several times today -like mini meditations.

It kept occurring to me how hard you work. Yeah, you've optimized. You optimized your finances, your kids' schooling, your food sources, your hobbies, your food processing, your diet, your transportation, your yard... all while also tending lovingly to your marriage. Dude, YOU HAVE DONE SO MUCH. Man. I prioritize several of those things, too. I used to prioritize all of them (though never got to the point of mini-ranching) but did find I had to call it quits. When one new variable arose in my life, I had to make some tough decisions about what to let go of. Sometimes I'm a bit nostalgic for those, but 99.9% of the time I'm just relieved and happy. Sometimes we're really doing more than we can. It *seems* like we can, because we're doing it...but the internal depletion is a helpful message.

I'm so glad you're doing the self-care of reprioritizing and of honouring your need for a touch more privacy sometimes. You've done more than can really be expected! You can be proud of that. And you really deserve to have some more room for YOU. You're a pretty awesome person. I hope you really, really, really know that.

Aww, thanks :)

In a lot of ways what I guess Iím doing now is de-optimizing or perhaps rather optimizing with a mind towards a new prime directive. Iím letting go of a few things and itís scary but also liberating. I was in the grocery store by myself yesterday and was able to really keep the optimization part of my brain shut up completely.

Itís also helping a lot that the kids are old enough we can leave them home for periods of time. My wife and I took an hour long walk yesterday by ourselves. It was awesome.

Iím also letting go (at least for the forseeable future) of what used to be a dream of mine of moving to the country. I like having all sorts of things in walking distance, though weíre by no means in the most walkable of areas, especially with shopping. There are walkable options but they suck and so I drive unless itís a quick thing.

But the kids are so damn happy, especially this time of year, because they have SO MANY FRIENDS within a block or two radius. There are a lot of kids in their rough age range they get along with, and a core group of 5-6 they play with just about every day and night when the weather is nice. They just made a new friend last night.

Sun Hat

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #957 on: June 25, 2018, 06:56:22 AM »
I'm giving up on my dream of living in the country for similar reasons. I really like being walking and biking distance to my mom and grandmother's homes, and an easy bus ride downtown if I want to attend cultural events (which I don't, but I like to keep the option open). I still fantasize about acres of land and a lake to swim in, but I sure do like the convenience of municipal water and sewer services!

I hope that coming up with a prime directive and de-optimizing lower priority areas helps with your depression. The need for perfection is a tough one to overcome.

chaskavitch

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #958 on: June 25, 2018, 07:18:21 AM »
It's interesting to hear you both talk about giving up on your dream of moving to a more rural location.  That's one of my husband's near-future dreams as well, but we do live in an extremely walkable/bikeable location, and only 2 miles from my office.  Our kid is only 2, so having friends in the area isn't a concern yet, but I'm worried it will be.  We're not even thinking of moving for at least 2 years (I'd like to stay in our house that's 3 miles from the hospital until after we have another kid), but I do kind of wonder if we'll end up in the same boat and stay where we are.

furrychickens

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #959 on: June 25, 2018, 07:27:40 AM »
Rural areas can have some great community too, my homesteading club has built a nice social network of many members within half a mile radius of each other, but even close rural friends arenít usually within walking distance, or at least not fun walking distance when youíre walking on the side of a 55mph two land highway. And definitely nothing else is in walking distance. The areas we were looking at would probably be 20 minutes minimum one way just for groceries.

Another thing Iím coming to terms with is my physical health. My back and neck issues are improving, but theyíve been chronic for a long time, and Iím only getting older. Our urban homestead feels just right currently. Not sure Iíd want to tackle a property much bigger than this unless my health is significantly better as well.

My wife said she also likes feeling like a ďtrend setterĒ with our very different urban yard. If my mental health gets better, probably not this year, but maybe next year i was thinking of doing some gardening workshops or something to encourage more of this. Thereís a non profit that promotes victory gardening here as well, but their main thing seems to be building single 4x8 garden beds for folks, and not necessarily teaching how to garden.

Dunno. Iíll be very careful not to get in the trap of doing too much again. Especially since homeschooling is probably going to be significantly more demanding on my time for the next 7-8 years until they all finish high school.

plainjane

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #960 on: June 25, 2018, 07:37:30 AM »
Ok, I'm joining in this challenge at the midpoint. I'm struggling with a variety of things, and it feels like when I make a healthy choice in one direction, everything else falls apart. I know that the pop science literature talks about keystone habits, but I haven't found mine yet. Instead, I get a good grove going with food and weight, and then I add in cycling to work (yay physical activity, saving money) and then my weight goes up because I am helpless in the face of free granola bars and chips at work.

I have discovered I have two types of work stress. The stress where I have a ton to do, it is at the limit of my experience, and I fear disappointing everyone. Then I can't eat, and I lose weight.

Then there is the stress where I haven't got enough work, where the work is boring and my problem is getting motivated to do what I have to do. I end up behind because I don't have any motivation to do the things because they are so dull. And I eat to get the quick hit of energy to keep going with the boring thing. So I gain weight and I get frustrated with myself because I know I'm capable of more at work and I'm losing hardfought ground on my weight.

Which is where I am now.

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #961 on: June 25, 2018, 07:46:19 AM »
One of the changes I made was moving from liberal, rural village life (a thing I used to adore) to the city/suburbs.

MAN, I LOVE IT. The liberal rural village thing seemed like a beautiful match for me -and it was in several ways. I moved to the small city for cheap cheap housing that matched my child's great longing and my needs (sustainable housing costs, quiet, safety). I've been very surprised at how much better it is for me. I can walk to many things we need (bank, groceries, etc), but even the ones I drive to are so much easier for me now. When I was rural, I would plan my contact and routes so that my driving was -you guessed it- optimized. Aiming to reduce the fuel, energy, and time involved. This meant that when we needed to be at Place C, I added on several other tasks, "rested" out in the world, etc. That's been completely eliminated! It's made a big difference. I feel infinitely better now.

It was hard for me to let go of rural village life, and I still "miss" my second-to-last one on one level, but this life is so much easier and so much better for me (as well as for my child).

I wonder how much of healthy choices is simply about deoptimizing in some areas. I mean, yes, sometimes it is about repairing our food intake or increasing sleep, but deoptimizing seems like a biggie too.

SquashingDebt

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #962 on: June 25, 2018, 07:38:12 PM »
I've been thinking a lot about deoptimizing (though the word is new to me!) recently too.  I like the idea of picking what is most important as a priority/goal and then realizing that compromises can be made in other areas. 

For me, the biggest piece has been realizing that healthy eating is my biggest priority, and that means that I can be slightly less than ideal in both my food spending and in my goal of eating locally and seasonally.  Theoretically I could do all three, but then would sacrifice my mental health in the form of rest and downtime.  And, I know from the last 2 years that I can't realistically keep it up during my busy/stressful time at work anyhow.

furrychickens

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #963 on: June 26, 2018, 06:16:00 AM »
I've been thinking a lot about deoptimizing (though the word is new to me!) recently too.  I like the idea of picking what is most important as a priority/goal and then realizing that compromises can be made in other areas. 

For me, the biggest piece has been realizing that healthy eating is my biggest priority, and that means that I can be slightly less than ideal in both my food spending and in my goal of eating locally and seasonally.  Theoretically I could do all three, but then would sacrifice my mental health in the form of rest and downtime.  And, I know from the last 2 years that I can't realistically keep it up during my busy/stressful time at work anyhow.

Your second paragraph really echoes how I feel.

plainjane

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #964 on: June 27, 2018, 08:11:35 AM »
For me, the biggest piece has been realizing that healthy eating is my biggest priority, and that means that I can be slightly less than ideal in both my food spending and in my goal of eating locally and seasonally.  Theoretically I could do all three, but then would sacrifice my mental health in the form of rest and downtime.  And, I know from the last 2 years that I can't realistically keep it up during my busy/stressful time at work anyhow.

I used to tell my clients that if everything was important then nothing was important. Which is what I'm reading here - you've decided on what is actually important have decided to make tradeoffs on the secondary things.

Which is easier to say and know than to feel and do.

Serendip

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #965 on: June 27, 2018, 10:32:44 AM »

I used to tell my clients that if everything was important then nothing was important. Which is what I'm reading here - you've decided on what is actually important have decided to make tradeoffs on the secondary things.

Which is easier to say and know than to feel and do.

Really, really love this @plainjane

Read a great article this morning about time and paying attention which I'll just leave here in case anyone is interested. Simplifying indeed.
https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-to-lengthen-your-life/

Mongoose

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #966 on: June 28, 2018, 06:27:03 PM »
One of the changes I made was moving from liberal, rural village life (a thing I used to adore) to the city/suburbs.

MAN, I LOVE IT. The liberal rural village thing seemed like a beautiful match for me -and it was in several ways. I moved to the small city for cheap cheap housing that matched my child's great longing and my needs (sustainable housing costs, quiet, safety). I've been very surprised at how much better it is for me. I can walk to many things we need (bank, groceries, etc), but even the ones I drive to are so much easier for me now. When I was rural, I would plan my contact and routes so that my driving was -you guessed it- optimized. Aiming to reduce the fuel, energy, and time involved. This meant that when we needed to be at Place C, I added on several other tasks, "rested" out in the world, etc.
This! This is exactly why I want to move to place where jobs are...it will cost more because housing there is way more expensive than our small town and we can't (yet) afford it, but I am so tired of trying to cram in everything on every trip to town.  It's 45 miles one way so extra trips are not an option right now. 4 grocery stores because none of them carry everything we want/need. Kid activities, work. Every trip to town is a logistical juggling act. How much exact time will this stop take? How to keep groceries cold? What are the store hours? Which stores are near each other and our route? Did I remember the cooler? I broke down yesterday and bought dry ice so I could get frozen groceries before the last second before we were heading home. That made things a bit better.

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #967 on: June 28, 2018, 06:50:04 PM »
Every trip to town is a logistical juggling act. How much exact time will this stop take? How to keep groceries cold? What are the store hours? Which stores are near each other and our route? Did I remember the cooler?

Yep!!!

Mongoose

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #968 on: June 30, 2018, 10:34:50 AM »
I made a half batch of our favorite weekend lunch and it was enough to fill us. No need to eat twice as much when half is satisfying.

Serendip

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #969 on: July 01, 2018, 12:11:21 PM »
Have been limiting my morning access to the phone & computer. It is great for creating more spaciousness in my day and limiting distractions.

Also, am still swimming daily in the local lakes, rain or shine.

Slow&Steady

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #970 on: July 02, 2018, 07:44:17 AM »
Every trip to town is a logistical juggling act. How much exact time will this stop take? How to keep groceries cold? What are the store hours? Which stores are near each other and our route? Did I remember the cooler?

Yep!!!

This has been on repeat in my mind for a few months now.  We live in the country and love our house and community but it is kind of taxing to do anything/everything.  Plus there is always house/farm work that needs to be done, making you feel guilty about sitting on the deck to enjoy your country setting.  My husband and kids are pretty ingrained in the community and I am not (due to my work commute) so living there is more taxing for me than anybody else.  However, to move closer would probably cost us $100k more for a similar house and I struggle with spending that kind of money. 

madgeylou

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #971 on: July 02, 2018, 08:34:58 AM »
Iím 3 days into a month-long stay in San Miguel de Allende for a month and so far my healthy choices have been

- books instead of TV/movies
- at least 5 miles of walking each day
- beautiful salad from the local organic market for dinner each night
- morning routine: make a carafe of tea and take it up on the roof deck, drink while writing
- evening routine: talk to a friend, curl up in bed with a paper book

Tris Prior

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #972 on: July 02, 2018, 09:23:01 AM »
I went to a bake sale yesterday that was fundraising for immigrant rights, ate 1 thing (a small but decadent chocolate chip cookie/oreo/brownie bar), and realized that it was FAR too sweet for my liking, and also made me feel like crap. I was astonished, in a good way, because it looks like cutting way back on sugar is finally starting to change my preferences. I used to have such a huge sweet tooth and it seems like that's finally going away - I literally did not want any more. We bought a few things to support the cause, and they're all still sitting in our fridge where in the past they'd have been devoured already. I went home and ate salad and felt so much better.

Serendip

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #973 on: July 04, 2018, 04:37:23 PM »
Hi everyone,

  Doing some afternoon cooking (lentil soup with cardomom, chard and coconut)..yum.

Reflecting today that I can be hard on myself for not seemingly 'accomplishing' enough in a day and that saps my energy. So I was practicing naming the tiny actions which are moving me forward in the directions I would like to go (ie..went for a walk, cooking whole foods, sent a challenging email). Feels positive to reframe my day in this way.

plainjane

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #974 on: July 05, 2018, 06:54:50 AM »
When I got home yesterday from riding my bike back from work my ankle was sore, and then today I transited into work and my knees are unhappy. I had already been careful about not riding twice in a row.

It's so frustrating when even the smallest things I enjoy doing aren't sustainable.

Frugal Lizard

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #975 on: July 05, 2018, 07:57:56 AM »
My healthy choice was going back to bed yesterday and the day before.  A little tummy bug has hit our neighbourhood.  Seems at first to be mild food poisoning but food poisoning is a single onset and this is tracking through the families in the 'hood a few days after the first one.  So much work to do, so much need to be horizontal.

Bendigirl

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #976 on: July 05, 2018, 05:02:21 PM »
Well, almost four months of dairy free...I feel so darn good.  Still no asthma meds...although after walking through an open house where smokers lived it was close.  Like heck you never smoked in the house!

Still doing all things healthy...today was treadmill, abs, yoga class, walk with friend, kayak around the lake, gardening and great food.

Serendip

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #977 on: July 07, 2018, 02:15:46 PM »
Well, almost four months of dairy free...I feel so darn good.  Still no asthma meds...although after walking through an open house where smokers lived it was close.  Like heck you never smoked in the house!


This is fantastic @Bendigirl !

Serendip

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #978 on: July 07, 2018, 02:19:28 PM »
We are having a rainy summer, but I am still hiking, swimming and pretending that's it's all good weather.
Seems to be working.

Yesterday had a perfect, mustachian day off (hike, free massage from someone who owed me, lake swim and then a friend came over and cooked me dinner and another brought flowers) All free and quite wonderful.

Definitely have been having a bit too much alcohol with the socializing so might tone that down and I am sure my overall energy and sleep could improve.

La Bibliotecaria Feroz

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #979 on: July 07, 2018, 02:24:09 PM »
We are having a rainy summer, but I am still hiking, swimming and pretending that's it's all good weather.
Seems to be working.

Yesterday had a perfect, mustachian day off (hike, free massage from someone who owed me, lake swim and then a friend came over and cooked me dinner and another brought flowers) All free and quite wonderful.

Definitely have been having a bit too much alcohol with the socializing so might tone that down and I am sure my overall energy and sleep could improve.

Yay for not letting the rain get you down!

I had a Very Unpleasant Experience at the gym on Tuesday but I was able to let it go as a one-off fluke. I've been going there for years and this was the first time I've had trouble. I not only went back, I continued to have faith in my own gym manners (which the Angry Man did not like) and used them with other gymgoers instead of just being silent and not getting the equipment I needed. Most people want to share and are nice about it!

When I got home yesterday from riding my bike back from work my ankle was sore, and then today I transited into work and my knees are unhappy. I had already been careful about not riding twice in a row.

It's so frustrating when even the smallest things I enjoy doing aren't sustainable.

I'm sorry you're having trouble finding the right balance :-(. I hope you are able to find an activity level that feels good to you and doesn't cause pain!

bucketsofrain

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #980 on: July 08, 2018, 06:38:59 AM »
Some updates!

  • On day two of no drinking for the rest of the month, and I feel good!
  • I realized I wasn't eating in a way that made me feel good, so I've been making sure I have healthy food around AND a plan for what to use it in. Realized that if I have veggies in my breakfast, it starts me off in a good place and I'm more likely to have veggies with the rest of my meals.
  • Padding out my budget this month (a la the YNAB philosophy) instead of sending the money to my efund or IRA, because having more on hand makes me a lot less stressed. A bad savings rate for one month will make me feel a lot better in future months.
  • Made two doctor appointments for this week to address stuff that's been worrying me.
  • Asked for help when I needed it and feel a lot lighter.

furrychickens

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #981 on: July 08, 2018, 07:04:22 AM »
New dose of SSRI is really starting to kick in. The beginning stages of moods that would have spiraled to something far worse end up just fizzling out like a dud firecracker.

Thanking Past Self for the decision drop my other garden. Iím overwhelmed and behind as it is, I canít even imagine how Iíd be feeling if I had that in the mix.

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #982 on: July 08, 2018, 08:17:22 AM »
Hoorah hoorah re: SSRI fizzles, furrychickens!! Thank goodness, hey??

buckets, thatís some really good stuff!

I began research into Pilates (or similar) classes. Inspired by the desire to be moving easily in my 80s. Time is going so fast now, so thatís kinda soon!

Slow&Steady

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #983 on: July 09, 2018, 08:02:20 AM »
I have been dairy and soy free since April, egg free since May, and coconut free since June due to sensitivities in the nursing baby.  It has made me feel great, my skin looks amazing, and weight was just melting away.  I had to go on a work trip to the middle of nowhere and was not able to stay as strict on the diet, then on the 4th we decided to try soy free eggs and see if eggs are really an issue or if it was just the soy.  Turns out egg really are an issues, bummer.  On top of that I have been a little more lax in the diet (a lunch here and there but I didn't interrogate the chef about) since I have returned home from my trip and I think they might have caused some issues with babies belly/sinuses/skin. 

I am recommitting to a diet that doesn't cause issues for baby and seems to be great for my health also!

I have also been stressing out about getting some schoolwork completed towards my Master's degree.  I need to work on a plan for that this week and commit to it because the stress of not doing it is really wearing on my.

I would really like to get to a gym but right now I can't find the time to get the school work done so there is no way that I will be able to find the time to get to the gym.  Maybe once the class is done I can spend some energy getting the kids (and mostly myself) to accept that me spending time at the gym is beneficial for all of us.

furrychickens

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #984 on: July 09, 2018, 10:46:07 AM »
I have been dairy and soy free since April, egg free since May, and coconut free since June due to sensitivities in the nursing baby.  It has made me feel great, my skin looks amazing, and weight was just melting away.  I had to go on a work trip to the middle of nowhere and was not able to stay as strict on the diet, then on the 4th we decided to try soy free eggs and see if eggs are really an issue or if it was just the soy.  Turns out egg really are an issues, bummer.  On top of that I have been a little more lax in the diet (a lunch here and there but I didn't interrogate the chef about) since I have returned home from my trip and I think they might have caused some issues with babies belly/sinuses/skin. 

I am recommitting to a diet that doesn't cause issues for baby and seems to be great for my health also!

I have also been stressing out about getting some schoolwork completed towards my Master's degree.  I need to work on a plan for that this week and commit to it because the stress of not doing it is really wearing on my.

I would really like to get to a gym but right now I can't find the time to get the school work done so there is no way that I will be able to find the time to get to the gym.  Maybe once the class is done I can spend some energy getting the kids (and mostly myself) to accept that me spending time at the gym is beneficial for all of us.

Theyíre usually expensive if you can even find them, but duck eggs may be an alternative. Some folks that canít eat chicken eggs can eat duck eggs.

Slow&Steady

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #985 on: July 09, 2018, 11:54:13 AM »
I have been dairy and soy free since April, egg free since May, and coconut free since June due to sensitivities in the nursing baby.  It has made me feel great, my skin looks amazing, and weight was just melting away.  I had to go on a work trip to the middle of nowhere and was not able to stay as strict on the diet, then on the 4th we decided to try soy free eggs and see if eggs are really an issue or if it was just the soy.  Turns out egg really are an issues, bummer.  On top of that I have been a little more lax in the diet (a lunch here and there but I didn't interrogate the chef about) since I have returned home from my trip and I think they might have caused some issues with babies belly/sinuses/skin. 

I am recommitting to a diet that doesn't cause issues for baby and seems to be great for my health also!

I have also been stressing out about getting some schoolwork completed towards my Master's degree.  I need to work on a plan for that this week and commit to it because the stress of not doing it is really wearing on my.

I would really like to get to a gym but right now I can't find the time to get the school work done so there is no way that I will be able to find the time to get to the gym.  Maybe once the class is done I can spend some energy getting the kids (and mostly myself) to accept that me spending time at the gym is beneficial for all of us.

Theyíre usually expensive if you can even find them, but duck eggs may be an alternative. Some folks that canít eat chicken eggs can eat duck eggs.

If I get brave enough to try again, maybe I will start with duck eggs.  I live in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest, lots of farmers around, so I might actually have luck finding them.  If I try again anytime soon.

plainjane

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #986 on: July 09, 2018, 05:13:07 PM »
I had my bike adjusted in the hope that it will help with the knee pain. Will probably not be able to tell until the weekend.

furrychickens

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #987 on: July 10, 2018, 05:13:56 AM »
I had my bike adjusted in the hope that it will help with the knee pain. Will probably not be able to tell until the weekend.

I hope it helps!

Slow&Steady

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #988 on: July 10, 2018, 07:05:31 AM »
I stayed up an extra hour later than normal to get some schoolwork done.  This seems like an unhealthy habit as I am a person that needs sleep to function, it is a good thing this is short term.

DH found a doctor that carries the vaccine brands that do not have any ingredients (soy/dairy/eggs) that I am concerned about for baby so she will finally get partially vaccinated.  She will miss the pneumococcal because I cannot find one that doesn't have soy in it, she goes to daycare so we will just have to be very careful if we notice any respiratory infections. 

Day 3 of eating only foods that will not cause baby belly trouble is in the books.  I ate baked fish at the work cafeteria on Friday for lunch and after seeing her be uncomfortable all weekend I think it must have had some butter or something on it. 
« Last Edit: July 10, 2018, 08:14:45 AM by Slow&Steady »

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #989 on: July 10, 2018, 08:12:12 AM »
Switched to "small batch cooking". I find this easier thus more motivating, and we're enjoying the eating part more :)

Two days ago was a chili that took us through 36 hours; today will be fish we caught ourselves.

Mongoose

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #990 on: July 15, 2018, 08:57:09 AM »
I took a short introductory basket weaving class last night. It was fun! Plus, the piece we were doing was super easy and not frustrating. I'm signing up for a 6 week class starting in September after enjoying this so much.

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #991 on: July 16, 2018, 06:41:11 PM »
My gym finally had a reasonably positive white board sign! I like to think this is because I complained.

I would like to say that I am very pleased with my meal plan today, which includes delicious previously cooked food as well as some yummy seasonal things I grabbed at the grocery store this morning and is still right around where MPF* says I should be.

(*Tracking is a healthy choice for me but I understand it is triggering and/or ineffective for many people.)

When I am trying to do something hard at the gym, I picture my abs and tighten my core and something about the mental picture makes me feel strong and solid and helps me to do the thing. (Single leg Romanian deadlifts, for instance.)

Serendip

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #992 on: July 23, 2018, 03:09:34 PM »
Have really been getting into the summer spirit..hiking, swimming, eating berries.

Normally, I am not a summer-lover as the heat is a bit much for my constitution but I've been waking up between 5:30/6:30 and getting out and doing things really early.  It is so fantastic.
Then, I can be back in a cool place just as the midday heat becomes overwhelming.

Also, evening swims as well : once the sun dips behind the mountains and the parks/beach empties out, it can be the perfect time.

galliver

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #993 on: July 25, 2018, 12:24:38 AM »
I came here today to share an...issue I'm having and solicit feedback, but I'm really glad I read through the last month's posts 'cause a lot of them spoke to me...maybe not directly addressing what I'm dealing with but felt relevant in a more general way, especially..

@Serendip's definition of sonder gave me sonder! I was sitting on a bench waiting for a bus. Sudden awareness of all the people driving and walking by, making dinner in houses, staying late at the library, etc. All the life going on. It was excellent and I should ponder it more often.
@furrychickens,  really appreciated your line "In a lot of ways what I guess Iím doing now is de-optimizing or perhaps rather optimizing with a mind towards a new prime directive." And also the term "hate loop trigger". The way I apply these to myself is likely different than how you think of them, but the words felt like puzzle pieces falling into place.

In spite of the therapeutic effects of reading the discussion, I'm going to share and solicit advice anyway. Here it is: I'm in a major Funk. I'm in a life transition right now...I have two big Tasks to tie up loose ends in grad school, plus Task 3, the job search. I've been dragging my feet on everything, starting with Task 1. It's not intentional, by any means; it has felt like my brain has just refused to work, or I was dragging an anvil behind me every step...I feel like I'm trying as hard as I can to put the time in, to focus, and I'm getting like 10% done of what I could/should be able to. I know I'm exhausted by this process...I've been in grad school 8 years and they have not been smooth ones (from a purely professional perspective, on a personal level everyone has been great). My project didn't go well, and my advisor didn't understand it as well as I initially thought, which took me years to understand and surmount. She continued to support me, so I persisted and eventually (I feel) squeezed water from stone...but in the process, I feel like I lost a lot...I lost my excitement/passion, I lost ground on technical skills, I lost...time. I objectively know that people have dealt with much bigger life setbacks, and much more difficult circumstances for grad school than I did, and still came through (and possibly less off-kilter than I am). But that doesn't stop a fun cocktail of depression, anxiety, shame, and anger from welling up every time I think about work,  and those feelings choke me up. Then I feel bad for feeling bad, making it exponentially worse. I'm also afraid of this happening in interviews.

I am moving forward, though slowly, and realistically believe I can finish Task 1 this week, pending feedback on my advisor's schedule. I am then taking off for a week (with advisor's blessing, I'm going backpacking--time in nature has generally been really good for me in this sense, and I'm sure I haven't had enough lately). The plan is to come back re-energized to tackle Tasks 2&3 concurrently...

Still, I'd love to hear from others who have been, or are going, through emotional low points like this, particularly on a very situational basis (I'm a much happier person on weekends if no one asks me about my professional progress/plans). How do you manage the feelings while you do what needs done? What steps do you take to regain your confidence and your drive?

Because I know these things will come up: I am sleeping mostly enough and eating produce and was exercising but it was wearing me out so I backed off on that one. Also, I have been seeing a therapist. She validates my feelings but sees them as a response to the situation, not indicative of an underlying disorder (like "you're not fundamentally broken, you're just out of whack for now," not exact words...and I am ok with that outlook).

Maybe this was better placed in its own thread, but I love the community on this thread (<3) and feel like this is mental health related...I'm just trying to figure out what the healthy choices *are* in this situation...

Thanks in advance, all.

Oh, and I might regret this in the morning, so if you could...tag don't quote?

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #994 on: July 25, 2018, 12:43:03 AM »
That sounds really, really tough, g :(

There are several times in my professional life where I lost all oomph, all ability to feel zeal, confidence, passion.

One major project simply didn't "take", and a whole bunch of weird events happened around that. (Publisher forgetting to credit me for a column that should have been a big boon, etc.) I couldn't make sense of how much bad luck one project could have! Several years' work "down the drain", essentially, not to mention a big chunk of my savings. In another case, everything was taken from me/us. We were doing the best quality work, but the funding was awarded to a slack agency for awful reasons. In another... I can't even write about that. I mean, this stuff was my Life's Work Stuff. It mattered to me. It was almost the soul of me -certainly how I expressed myself, how I experienced any sense of competency, contribution, etc.

In each situation, I felt so defeated. Depressed, bewildered, disoriented, despondent, embarrassed, ashamed (despite having no reason to be). I had no bearings, and no sense of how I might possibly get up, dust myself off, and carry on right away...or ever return to the field.

I don't know how people do dust themselves off and keep going (though I think the book Option B could be very helpful for people in such situations). I didn't manage to. I waited. I did other stuff while I waited for my feelings to process and resolve. In each case, that took about a year, I think. So, I guess that was my system: Do something else while everything internal processes.

I'll be interested to hear if others manage to reenergize themselves earlier in the process than that.

I guess I wanted to say you're not alone in this kind of thing, and if it takes time to recover before you're really up for stuff, you're not alone in that either!

I'm so glad you know how to take good care of yourself through a trying time, and that you're doing it!

galliver

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #995 on: July 25, 2018, 01:02:01 AM »
That sounds really, really tough, g :(

Thanks, jooni, for the sympathy and for sharing your experiences. Sometimes just not feeling alone is a great salve on the wound.

I have to admit I'm afraid that it will take me a long time to process, and the effect that will have on my job prospects (as well as life, finances, etc). But I'm at least as afraid of starting off on the wrong foot. Seeking feedback on this as well (from anybody).

SquashingDebt

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #996 on: July 25, 2018, 07:32:44 AM »
@galliver

The end of grad school is HARD.  I graduated in 2015 after 6 years in grad school.  My PhD went pretty smoothly, all said, and the last 6 months of finishing and job searching was still the hardest in my life, I think.  The exhaustion is real, and the emotional ups and downs of job searching can be rough.  I can't think of a single grad school friend who didn't go through the same experience, so know that you're not alone.

That all being said - it does get better!  Like your therapist suggested for you, the vast majority of my emotions were situational and cleared up dramatically once I had a job and finished all my grad school obligations and moved forward with my life.

Grad school is weird because it's so all-encompassing.  I feel like I spent all my time working or feeling guilty that I wasn't working.  It's been so delightful out here in the real world now that I can work hard at work and then come home and live the rest of my life without guilty/anxious thoughts of grad school work that needs to be done.

Here are some things that helped me get through it:

1.  I was really realistic in my career searching.  I had discovered that academia was NOT for me (I hate writing papers, for example) so only looked for industry jobs.  I had to be patient/persistent, but I found one that was a great fit and have been overall very happy with it since.

2. Relied on my support network - fellow graduate students, especially, but also friends and family.

3. Thought about it as a discrete "thing" to get through and knew that it would get better once I finished with all my grad school stuff and got a job.

4.  Was kind to myself - gave myself a little slack in other areas and on a day to day basis about how much work got done.  Just kept slogging through and eventually got to the finish line!


As for the steps to take to regain your confidence and your drive - I found that happened really naturally once I was in a new situation with a fresh start and realistic and exciting challenges. 

Good luck!

Slow&Steady

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #997 on: July 25, 2018, 09:40:17 AM »
@galliver

I am currently taking grad school classes but not on a PhD or thesis required type of level, more of an online work at my own pace level and I am struggling hard just to submit the required work to finish this 1 class.  I started this 3 years ago and am only half way through it.  I have lost all desire to finish it but keep going because my new company wants me to, which makes sense because I started the program to help grow my career/get a new job.  I started the new job in Jan, had baby #2 in March, and had to enroll in my next class before June or get kicked out of the program.  So I am trying to navigate a new job, new baby, and finishing off a grad class that I don't even really want to take.  The requirement to complete this class is to submit 16 different assignments, mostly research papers/presentations/case study stuff before Aug 7th.  I have submitted 6 of those assignments and I just can't convince myself that getting these done are more important than spending time with the new baby, but I had a minor breakthrough this week!  It all started by making a to do list with very very small, easy to accomplish tasks and then checking those off (I love checking off to do lists), so my list looked something like this:
-Read what the assignment is
-Have a "topic" picked by the next day
-Spend 1 hours downloading all the peer-reviewed articles from the school (on-line) library you can find.  Do not try to read them.
-Spend 1 hour reading abstract to narrow articles down
-"Sit on" how to layout the assignment for 1 day.

By breaking the 1st TASK down to very small sections like this and getting all the wins of marking these things off my to do list, it gave me the push/confidence I need to try to finish off this class.  Maybe spending the time to break these bigger tasks into very small task and give yourself the mental win (and therefore confidence) of progress will help you process.  Just like jooni I tend to ignore and work on something else, but when that doesn't allow me to move on (because the task still needs to be completed) this is the way I build myself up while completing something that I would generally knock myself down while doing it ( "S&S you are better than this, why did you explain this clearer?" or "S&S why did you push this off for so long, you are horrible at time management!", etc).

As for "But I'm at least as afraid of starting off on the wrong foot." do you mean in your professional life?

A great countermeasure to this is research.  Have you started looking at job openings for the career you would prefer?  Make a list of the requirements in the ads that you can find but leave off all the hiring information (the company/school, the title of the position, who it reports to, etc) only list what the qualifications and maybe the responsibilities, leave that list on your computer until this weekend or next week. When you come back to it write down little notes on how you could spin your skills to met those qualifications/responsibilities.  Once you do this (maybe a few times) then use your list of skills that you wrote down to create a top-notch resume, specifically highlighting how you fulfill the most common requirements, your cover letter is to highlight more job specific stuff. 

If you are talking more about after you get hired and you are aware that you and your advisor had a miscommunication (advisor did not understand your project) you can and should spend genuine time trying to figure out how you could have communicated that better.  Not sure if your career path will be in academia or not ( I know nothing about working in academia) but in industry those that learn how to effectively communicate almost never start off on the wrong foot.  Communications is as much about listening and reading the other person(s) as it is about talking.  Spend sometime with your advisor and let them know that you want to learn where this miscommunication came from and how you can better convey your message in the future.  Ask questions about what they thought your project was going to be and really listen (this is extremely hard for people to do).  Then take that information and sit with it for a while, ask yourself what it is that you said (verbally/written/non-verbally) or implied that would have led them to think whatever they did about your project.  Then think about how you presented and how you could have presented it differently, you might go so far as to bring up your project that you are close to but they don't really understand what you do (a sibling, parent, aunt/uncle, high school friend, etc) and try to explain it to them in a way they might understand it.  I feel that communication is almost always a skill that people can improve at and should hold a much higher level of importance in school (I am not in a communication field by the way). 
« Last Edit: July 25, 2018, 09:42:08 AM by Slow&Steady »

Slow&Steady

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #998 on: July 25, 2018, 09:45:25 AM »
You should also proof-read something before hitting submit, unlike I did above. 

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: Healthy Choices in 2018
« Reply #999 on: July 25, 2018, 09:50:37 AM »
Just like jooni I tend to ignore and work on something else, but when that doesn't allow me to move on (because the task still needs to be completed) this is the way I build myself up while...

This just helped me realize why I always do [relatively short term or part-time] project work, and independently. Except with parenting, there's an end within a week or a year or so, at which point I'm guaranteed to be able to "do something else". I worked in one tiny field, within the same blob of humans, for over 20 years...so the endurance, commitment, and longevity was there. But by doing project work within that, I always knew there was time for a good break at the end. That's the part I need to keep going. That's a critical "healthy choice" for me.

It's cool reading about people's strategies for surviving grad school.