Author Topic: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!  (Read 307889 times)

sjlp

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1400 on: November 10, 2022, 06:53:37 AM »
In since 2005.
Nice! Thanks for sharing.

I am checking in to note that I am more than 18 months in, and still very happy. Have now been through many holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, work travel, concerts, dinners out, vacations.... Everything is better this way. Moreover, I just get so much done -- working, cooking, exercising, spending quality time with friends and family. I feel like I have found this amazing life hack! One of the biggest surprises continues to be how little other people care, even in my rather boozy circle of friends and acquaintances.

Though I did have a sip of alcohol on two occasions, with different results. While staying at a small B&B in another country, the owner took all the guests out for the day and at the end hosted us in the garden. He passed out shots of some homemade alcohol. I just drank it for politeness/camaraderie. It was gross, I felt gross afterwards, and nothing was triggered. However, I have never liked hard alcohol that much so I'm not too surprised.

In contrast, I went on a wine tour where they drove us to a pretty lookout point on a vineyard for a tasting. I had been on several other wine tours/events previously, and simple didn't drink anything and enjoyed the company/scenery. Before I could decline, the guide poured a taster. I took a sip and there was definitely a split second of 'Oh wouldn't it be nice to just drink this all afternoon and sit and watch the sunset.' Then I was like, 'Nah, I have better things to do with my life' and didn't have any more. This was interesting and informative, that the pathway still existed.

I think if this happened again, I would remind myself the guide and my group don't really care what I do, and just not have any. Maybe it would have been better to let the tour know in advance or to bring my own NA drink. And, perhaps I should try a little harder to suggest events that are not alcohol-centered, particularly if they remind me of my past self. Though I'm not totally sure about the last point, as I have taken pride in being able to very comfortably go to beer gardens, wineries, cocktail hour etc. when my social circle wants to do that.

sonofsven

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1401 on: November 10, 2022, 11:14:56 AM »
In since 2005.
Nice! Thanks for sharing.

I am checking in to note that I am more than 18 months in, and still very happy. Have now been through many holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, work travel, concerts, dinners out, vacations.... Everything is better this way. Moreover, I just get so much done -- working, cooking, exercising, spending quality time with friends and family. I feel like I have found this amazing life hack! One of the biggest surprises continues to be how little other people care, even in my rather boozy circle of friends and acquaintances.

Though I did have a sip of alcohol on two occasions, with different results. While staying at a small B&B in another country, the owner took all the guests out for the day and at the end hosted us in the garden. He passed out shots of some homemade alcohol. I just drank it for politeness/camaraderie. It was gross, I felt gross afterwards, and nothing was triggered. However, I have never liked hard alcohol that much so I'm not too surprised.

In contrast, I went on a wine tour where they drove us to a pretty lookout point on a vineyard for a tasting. I had been on several other wine tours/events previously, and simple didn't drink anything and enjoyed the company/scenery. Before I could decline, the guide poured a taster. I took a sip and there was definitely a split second of 'Oh wouldn't it be nice to just drink this all afternoon and sit and watch the sunset.' Then I was like, 'Nah, I have better things to do with my life' and didn't have any more. This was interesting and informative, that the pathway still existed.

I think if this happened again, I would remind myself the guide and my group don't really care what I do, and just not have any. Maybe it would have been better to let the tour know in advance or to bring my own NA drink. And, perhaps I should try a little harder to suggest events that are not alcohol-centered, particularly if they remind me of my past self. Though I'm not totally sure about the last point, as I have taken pride in being able to very comfortably go to beer gardens, wineries, cocktail hour etc. when my social circle wants to do that.

I just say a quick and pleasant "no thanks" and that's it, no further discussion needed. I struggled a bit in my first years going to bars and other events where I was in close contact with drinking, but honestly it was more just being annoyed watching people getting drunk than feeling an urge to drink myself. Maybe the realization that I used to be annoying too when I was getting tipsy? I quit in 2010 so it's not an issue anymore, but I don't spend much time with people that drink heavily, and my partner is a very light drinker.
I was just at a bar two weeks ago for a birthday; I ordered tea. Nobody cares.

OurTown

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1402 on: November 24, 2022, 05:18:35 AM »
Hi everyone.  Sober since 2016.  Good luck to everyone on their journey!

I'm with Malcat on AA ambivalence.  When I tried a few meetings, it felt like a cult. If I wanted a cult I would join up with Scientology. If others had a better experience with AA that's great for them, but don't feel like AA is the only game in town.  To me, AA is the Dave Ramsey of addiction recovery:  heavy on the religion, light on the science.

I had to experience a real rock-bottom crash before I finally wised up and quit.  For those folks seeking help and guidance, there is an REBT based addiction recovery program out on the internet called smartrecovery.org.  It was still in chat-room format when I did it (ha!), now it is zoom meetings. I became a big fan of REBT / CBT / Stoicism after I got my sh!t together.   


Frugal Lizard

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1403 on: November 24, 2022, 06:19:56 AM »
The upside of me not drinking is my spouse is rarely consuming. And he is loosing weight. If I could leave off a little belly fat would be a bonus. Our household booze spending used to be around 100Can$ a month. It is still around 25$ a month as we do still bring wine when invited for a meal.

wenchsenior

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1404 on: November 24, 2022, 11:59:27 AM »
Hi everyone.  Sober since 2016.  Good luck to everyone on their journey!

I'm with Malcat on AA ambivalence.  When I tried a few meetings, it felt like a cult. If I wanted a cult I would join up with Scientology. If others had a better experience with AA that's great for them, but don't feel like AA is the only game in town.  To me, AA is the Dave Ramsey of addiction recovery:  heavy on the religion, light on the science.

I had to experience a real rock-bottom crash before I finally wised up and quit.  For those folks seeking help and guidance, there is an REBT based addiction recovery program out on the internet called smartrecovery.org.  It was still in chat-room format when I did it (ha!), now it is zoom meetings. I became a big fan of REBT / CBT / Stoicism after I got my sh!t together.

Yes, using CBT was incredibly helpful for me when I quit my long-term daily drinking habit.

I never got remotely close to a rock-bottom, but the AA thing I think is likely a mixed bag (based on seeing people I know go through it). It is indeed very light on actual science (and seems to have some outright incorrect ideas about addiction that get promulgated), but on the other hand it provides a social outlet and feedback and support, and I appreciate that it pushes a concept of doing for others. The attempt to eradicate ego is a mixed bag, I think, depending on situation and person.

Tyson

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1405 on: November 24, 2022, 12:06:46 PM »
Hi everyone.  Sober since 2016.  Good luck to everyone on their journey!

I'm with Malcat on AA ambivalence.  When I tried a few meetings, it felt like a cult. If I wanted a cult I would join up with Scientology. If others had a better experience with AA that's great for them, but don't feel like AA is the only game in town.  To me, AA is the Dave Ramsey of addiction recovery:  heavy on the religion, light on the science.

I had to experience a real rock-bottom crash before I finally wised up and quit.  For those folks seeking help and guidance, there is an REBT based addiction recovery program out on the internet called smartrecovery.org.  It was still in chat-room format when I did it (ha!), now it is zoom meetings. I became a big fan of REBT / CBT / Stoicism after I got my sh!t together.

Yes, using CBT was incredibly helpful for me when I quit my long-term daily drinking habit.

I never got remotely close to a rock-bottom, but the AA thing I think is likely a mixed bag (based on seeing people I know go through it). It is indeed very light on actual science (and seems to have some outright incorrect ideas about addiction that get promulgated), but on the other hand it provides a social outlet and feedback and support, and I appreciate that it pushes a concept of doing for others. The attempt to eradicate ego is a mixed bag, I think, depending on situation and person.

A more current, science based version of AA is called Lifering.  It's the group I go to.

wenchsenior

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1406 on: November 25, 2022, 07:36:29 AM »
Hi everyone.  Sober since 2016.  Good luck to everyone on their journey!

I'm with Malcat on AA ambivalence.  When I tried a few meetings, it felt like a cult. If I wanted a cult I would join up with Scientology. If others had a better experience with AA that's great for them, but don't feel like AA is the only game in town.  To me, AA is the Dave Ramsey of addiction recovery:  heavy on the religion, light on the science.

I had to experience a real rock-bottom crash before I finally wised up and quit.  For those folks seeking help and guidance, there is an REBT based addiction recovery program out on the internet called smartrecovery.org.  It was still in chat-room format when I did it (ha!), now it is zoom meetings. I became a big fan of REBT / CBT / Stoicism after I got my sh!t together.

Yes, using CBT was incredibly helpful for me when I quit my long-term daily drinking habit.

I never got remotely close to a rock-bottom, but the AA thing I think is likely a mixed bag (based on seeing people I know go through it). It is indeed very light on actual science (and seems to have some outright incorrect ideas about addiction that get promulgated), but on the other hand it provides a social outlet and feedback and support, and I appreciate that it pushes a concept of doing for others. The attempt to eradicate ego is a mixed bag, I think, depending on situation and person.

A more current, science based version of AA is called Lifering.  It's the group I go to.

I think you might be the person who mentioned that several years ago on this thread. I'd never heard of it prior to that, and I've kept a mental note ever since and rec'd it to several people I know.

ETA: I was thinking last night, as I was content and settling in for a pleasant evening at home with tea after a really enjoyable Thanksgiving meal and catch-up with friends, how I never could have imagined a social occasion or a holiday without booze 5 years ago, and I also wouldn't have even had the opportunity for the pleasant evening b/c I would have been asleep long since.

Additionally, I just love Thanksgiving. The modern holiday is a nice distillation of the best parts of holidays. Companionship, mindfulness, thankfulness, contributing to a meal (even if I don't love cooking and don't eat that much), and none of the stupid commercialism.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2022, 07:41:19 AM by wenchsenior »

BikeFanatic

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1407 on: November 25, 2022, 08:00:00 AM »
I had a nice thanksgiving with friends, I made mock tails and several of us enjoyed that.
It involved diet soda, so some people would not touch it. I really enjoyed the party, alcohol probably would have added nothing to the experience.
I do tend to think of the non drinkers as the boring crowd, but we are just boring appearing to others who can not fathom an evening out without drinking, and actually may be missing out on some great life experiences. After the party I was able to drive home safely, watch some football, hang with my dogs, and enjoy the entire day instead of passing out when I got home.
I hope by next summer I can have a great time going out dancing at a nightclub without alcohol,
If I can navigate that without feeling that I am  missing out, then I will have navigated every possible situation without alcohol and learn To enjoy it.
I am grateful for the extra energy and living that I get to do because I am not addicted to alcohol anymore.

2Birds1Stone

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1408 on: November 25, 2022, 09:15:53 AM »
Today marks two months being AF.

wenchsenior

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1409 on: November 25, 2022, 10:10:12 AM »
Today marks two months being AF.

Nice going. It's a great experiment to go AF during the holiday season, and kind of test your own assumptions about associating drinking with holidays/special occasions/social events.

Metalcat

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1410 on: November 25, 2022, 10:27:46 AM »
I had a nice thanksgiving with friends, I made mock tails and several of us enjoyed that.
It involved diet soda, so some people would not touch it. I really enjoyed the party, alcohol probably would have added nothing to the experience.
I do tend to think of the non drinkers as the boring crowd, but we are just boring appearing to others who can not fathom an evening out without drinking, and actually may be missing out on some great life experiences. After the party I was able to drive home safely, watch some football, hang with my dogs, and enjoy the entire day instead of passing out when I got home.
I hope by next summer I can have a great time going out dancing at a nightclub without alcohol,
If I can navigate that without feeling that I am  missing out, then I will have navigated every possible situation without alcohol and learn To enjoy it.
I am grateful for the extra energy and living that I get to do because I am not addicted to alcohol anymore.

Huh, I never considered that I would be thought of as "boring" for not drinking.

I knew my not drinking would likely make some people uncomfortable, and therefore damage their sense of fun drinking, but it literally never occured to me that *I* would be perceived as boring.

My complete disinterest in cannabis on the other hand?? That can get people thinking that I'm an insufferable, upright square.

GuitarStv

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1411 on: November 25, 2022, 01:19:42 PM »
I had a nice thanksgiving with friends, I made mock tails and several of us enjoyed that.
It involved diet soda, so some people would not touch it. I really enjoyed the party, alcohol probably would have added nothing to the experience.
I do tend to think of the non drinkers as the boring crowd, but we are just boring appearing to others who can not fathom an evening out without drinking, and actually may be missing out on some great life experiences. After the party I was able to drive home safely, watch some football, hang with my dogs, and enjoy the entire day instead of passing out when I got home.
I hope by next summer I can have a great time going out dancing at a nightclub without alcohol,
If I can navigate that without feeling that I am  missing out, then I will have navigated every possible situation without alcohol and learn To enjoy it.
I am grateful for the extra energy and living that I get to do because I am not addicted to alcohol anymore.

Huh, I never considered that I would be thought of as "boring" for not drinking.

I knew my not drinking would likely make some people uncomfortable, and therefore damage their sense of fun drinking, but it literally never occured to me that *I* would be perceived as boring.

My complete disinterest in cannabis on the other hand?? That can get people thinking that I'm an insufferable, upright square.

I could easily give up booze with no real effort or loss.

Not pot though.  That stuff is fantastic - no hangover (kinda an anti-hangover actually - I feel more rested and better the next day), no depression, I write good stuff (music and prose) pretty consistently while high, and enjoy music even more than usual.

But while everyone I know drinks on a regular basis, there only one or two people in my life who use cannabis.  I'm always afraid to mention it because it still seems to carry stigma - that's why your comment about being seen as a square made me giggle a little.

Metalcat

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1412 on: November 25, 2022, 02:17:46 PM »
I had a nice thanksgiving with friends, I made mock tails and several of us enjoyed that.
It involved diet soda, so some people would not touch it. I really enjoyed the party, alcohol probably would have added nothing to the experience.
I do tend to think of the non drinkers as the boring crowd, but we are just boring appearing to others who can not fathom an evening out without drinking, and actually may be missing out on some great life experiences. After the party I was able to drive home safely, watch some football, hang with my dogs, and enjoy the entire day instead of passing out when I got home.
I hope by next summer I can have a great time going out dancing at a nightclub without alcohol,
If I can navigate that without feeling that I am  missing out, then I will have navigated every possible situation without alcohol and learn To enjoy it.
I am grateful for the extra energy and living that I get to do because I am not addicted to alcohol anymore.

Huh, I never considered that I would be thought of as "boring" for not drinking.

I knew my not drinking would likely make some people uncomfortable, and therefore damage their sense of fun drinking, but it literally never occured to me that *I* would be perceived as boring.

My complete disinterest in cannabis on the other hand?? That can get people thinking that I'm an insufferable, upright square.

I could easily give up booze with no real effort or loss.

Not pot though.  That stuff is fantastic - no hangover (kinda an anti-hangover actually - I feel more rested and better the next day), no depression, I write good stuff (music and prose) pretty consistently while high, and enjoy music even more than usual.

But while everyone I know drinks on a regular basis, there only one or two people in my life who use cannabis.  I'm always afraid to mention it because it still seems to carry stigma - that's why your comment about being seen as a square made me giggle a little.

Really? It always seems like everyone here in Ottawa smokes pot.

I've spent my whole life trying to avoid the shit because I deeply dislike it for myself and really don't like being around stoned people if they're the talky kind. The ones who go off and quietly cook all evening are AWESOME though.

But I've literally never been able to realistically avoid rampant pot use in my social world.

I even held a staff retreat a few years back (before legalization) and my entire staff were on edibles except for the one pregnant woman. I was like "wtf? We're technically working! You're all health professionals and we're paying you!"

fredbear

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1413 on: November 25, 2022, 04:04:47 PM »
Not pot though.  That stuff is fantastic - no hangover (kinda an anti-hangover actually - I feel more rested and better the next day), no depression, I write good stuff (music and prose) pretty consistently while high, and enjoy music even more than usual.

...

Better man than I am, Gunga Din.  My stoned music was satiric, though that had not been the intention.  My writing was intricate;  without quality, with pretense.  Mailer commented that pot had given a generation the impression that they were geniuses; so for me. The last time I smoked, it was a wonderful evening in the canyon of the Arkansas, seeing who could dart into the blaze of 200,000 candle-power, lean the closest to approaching train engines and extract the most indignant whistle without getting pulped, the thunder as the engineer shoved the throttle to fifth notch and up-throbbed the diesels to charge the dynamos as he swept out of the chicanes, the hot rush of air thrust off the blunt A units, the stink of lube pumped by the greasers in the canyon, the clicking, the flange-squalling.  And it resulted in 2 subsequent months of bronchitis.  2 months, painful hacking and coughing, no running, no biking.  Really fun, but not fun enough to counter 2 lung-bound months of misery.   

GuitarStv

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1414 on: November 25, 2022, 04:47:24 PM »
I figure the approach with pot (and most drugs really - recreational and medicinal) is to determine the minimum amount needed to get the result you want.  I don't smoke anything (cannabis tinctures are much easier to precisely dose and don't damage your lungs).  5-7 mcg of THC with about the same CBD seems about right . . . and there's no loss of control, spinning head, or stupid behaviour involved.  It's just much easier to focus on a task for three or four hours - be it writing, learning a guitar part, listening to music, whatever.  I've never, ever felt sick during or afterwards.

jambongris

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Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1415 on: December 01, 2022, 11:55:49 AM »
I had a nice thanksgiving with friends, I made mock tails and several of us enjoyed that.
It involved diet soda, so some people would not touch it. I really enjoyed the party, alcohol probably would have added nothing to the experience.
I do tend to think of the non drinkers as the boring crowd, but we are just boring appearing to others who can not fathom an evening out without drinking, and actually may be missing out on some great life experiences. After the party I was able to drive home safely, watch some football, hang with my dogs, and enjoy the entire day instead of passing out when I got home.
I hope by next summer I can have a great time going out dancing at a nightclub without alcohol,
If I can navigate that without feeling that I am  missing out, then I will have navigated every possible situation without alcohol and learn To enjoy it.
I am grateful for the extra energy and living that I get to do because I am not addicted to alcohol anymore.

Huh, I never considered that I would be thought of as "boring" for not drinking.

I knew my not drinking would likely make some people uncomfortable, and therefore damage their sense of fun drinking, but it literally never occured to me that *I* would be perceived as boring.

My complete disinterest in cannabis on the other hand?? That can get people thinking that I'm an insufferable, upright square.

I could easily give up booze with no real effort or loss.

Not pot though.  That stuff is fantastic - no hangover (kinda an anti-hangover actually - I feel more rested and better the next day), no depression, I write good stuff (music and prose) pretty consistently while high, and enjoy music even more than usual.

But while everyone I know drinks on a regular basis, there only one or two people in my life who use cannabis.  I'm always afraid to mention it because it still seems to carry stigma - that's why your comment about being seen as a square made me giggle a little.

Really? It always seems like everyone here in Ottawa smokes pot.

I've spent my whole life trying to avoid the shit because I deeply dislike it for myself and really don't like being around stoned people if they're the talky kind. The ones who go off and quietly cook all evening are AWESOME though.

But I've literally never been able to realistically avoid rampant pot use in my social world.

I even held a staff retreat a few years back (before legalization) and my entire staff were on edibles except for the one pregnant woman. I was like "wtf? We're technically working! You're all health professionals and we're paying you!"
I gave up pot sometime during my post-secondary studies when I realized that I was only smoking it for stupid reasons (peer pressure, social norms, inertia, media, etc.). It had been a long time since I actually enjoyed the feeling of being high (if I ever did).

I still see and smell it everywhere in Ottawa and I know a lot of people who smoke and/or otherwise consume it. I wouldn’t describe it as rampant but I also haven’t associated it with any sort of stigma in a long time.

BikeFanatic

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1416 on: December 02, 2022, 06:47:22 AM »
@LightStache I definitely felt increased energy from not drinking. I felt it at 3 weeks 3 months and maybe another burst at 6 or 9 months. That feeling is real. Probably the number one reason I stay off booze is the increased energy I feel.

SnipTheDog

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1417 on: December 04, 2022, 04:31:10 PM »
In since 2005.
Nice! Thanks for sharing.

I am checking in to note that I am more than 18 months in, and still very happy. Have now been through many holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, work travel, concerts, dinners out, vacations.... Everything is better this way. Moreover, I just get so much done -- working, cooking, exercising, spending quality time with friends and family. I feel like I have found this amazing life hack! One of the biggest surprises continues to be how little other people care, even in my rather boozy circle of friends and acquaintances.

Though I did have a sip of alcohol on two occasions, with different results. While staying at a small B&B in another country, the owner took all the guests out for the day and at the end hosted us in the garden. He passed out shots of some homemade alcohol. I just drank it for politeness/camaraderie. It was gross, I felt gross afterwards, and nothing was triggered. However, I have never liked hard alcohol that much so I'm not too surprised.

In contrast, I went on a wine tour where they drove us to a pretty lookout point on a vineyard for a tasting. I had been on several other wine tours/events previously, and simple didn't drink anything and enjoyed the company/scenery. Before I could decline, the guide poured a taster. I took a sip and there was definitely a split second of 'Oh wouldn't it be nice to just drink this all afternoon and sit and watch the sunset.' Then I was like, 'Nah, I have better things to do with my life' and didn't have any more. This was interesting and informative, that the pathway still existed.

I think if this happened again, I would remind myself the guide and my group don't really care what I do, and just not have any. Maybe it would have been better to let the tour know in advance or to bring my own NA drink. And, perhaps I should try a little harder to suggest events that are not alcohol-centered, particularly if they remind me of my past self. Though I'm not totally sure about the last point, as I have taken pride in being able to very comfortably go to beer gardens, wineries, cocktail hour etc. when my social circle wants to do that.

I don't think I was ever an alcoholic, just didn't feel the need to imbibe anymore.   Plus I have lots more time and money to do other things which I enjoy more.

Metalcat

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1418 on: December 31, 2022, 09:09:50 PM »
Happy new year everyone!

I just realized I'm about an hour away from 3 years alcohol free.

I think I already posted earlier about how after year two, I don't even think of myself as "sober" anyone, as in, someone who quit drinking. I just feel like someone who doesn't drink.

My neurologist has me logging a lot of shit in an app every morning, and as I fill in every single morning how my body feels, how I've slept, and how my mood is, I am basically triggered every single morning to appreciate that I don't drink.

The most, MOST precious part of all of this is that I wake up virtually every morning feeling totally at ease. Unless I have a tangible, immediate reason to feel anxious or self critical, I just don't anymore, and when I drank, even very moderately, that was the default way to wake up. I would wake up, feel like I had been hit by a truck, and then feel anxious and awful.

I just thought that's how virtually everyone feels first thing in the morning.

Year 3 has been very pleasant on that front despite throwing some legit stressful shit at me, and many of you know I'm heading into very, very difficult times in a few days. And I am beyond grateful that alcohol is no longer something I turn to in times of stress, because I know it makes them worse.

So I am damn happy to be going into 2023 and year 4 of not drinking so that alcohol can't detract from the emotional and physical strength I'm going to need.

And high fives to everyone considering a Dry January tomorrow. Come on in, the water is sparkling and comes with a lime!

2Birds1Stone

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1419 on: January 01, 2023, 04:19:29 AM »
Congrats on three years, and thank you for your contributions on this topic, Malkynn!

Tomorrow will be my 100th day without imbibing, after nearly two decades of very regular consumption. It feels like one of the best decisions of 2022.

Thanks to everyone who opened up about their own goals, struggles, and experiences with going AF.

« Last Edit: January 01, 2023, 04:32:58 AM by 2Birds1Stone »

Metalcat

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1420 on: January 01, 2023, 05:10:08 AM »
Congrats on three years, and thank you for your contributions on this topic, Malkynn!

Tomorrow will be my 100th day without imbibing, after nearly two decades of very regular consumption. It feels like one of the best decisions of 2022.

Thanks to everyone who opened up about their own goals, struggles, and experiences with going AF.

Ooh, 100 is awesome. I pretty vividly remember 100 because it was very early in the pandemic and I was so grateful to not be drinking my way through it.

I wasn't a super heavy drinker, but I definitely drank way too much when I was on vacations. The "fuck it" feeling of the pandemic combined with me just having lost my whole career at the same time could have easily driven me into a whole lot of "fuck it" drinking.

I read about so many people who graduated from regular drinking to serious problem drinking during the pandemic and I just kept thinking that I could have easily been one of them.

Congrats on 100. It's one of the big ones, and what a wicked awesome gift to give yourself in 2023. You're starting the year off knowing that if you can do 100, you can do the entirety of 2023 if you want to.

Dee

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1421 on: January 02, 2023, 09:50:13 PM »
I made it through the holidays without a drink! That was a milestone for me. In 2021, I had quit drinking *except* for the last two weeks of the year, so I did have an alcohol-induced holiday season. I had been planning the same, more or less, for 2022, and had allowed myself to drink during a summer vacation. Thoughts on this thread led me to decide to do a full 2 years alcohol-free before revisiting the question of whether I wanted to drink again. So in August, I decided to commit to that. And thereby had an AF holiday period. I had some cravings but was overall so much better off in abstaining. Cheers to all of you AF posters!

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1422 on: January 03, 2023, 06:17:43 AM »
I made it through the holidays without a drink! That was a milestone for me. In 2021, I had quit drinking *except* for the last two weeks of the year, so I did have an alcohol-induced holiday season. I had been planning the same, more or less, for 2022, and had allowed myself to drink during a summer vacation. Thoughts on this thread led me to decide to do a full 2 years alcohol-free before revisiting the question of whether I wanted to drink again. So in August, I decided to commit to that. And thereby had an AF holiday period. I had some cravings but was overall so much better off in abstaining. Cheers to all of you AF posters!

This is awesome!!!

Also what a great goal. My goal was to get to a point where if I ever chose to drink, it wouldn't be in response to a craving.

I've solidly learned to differentiate between legitimately wanting something because it has a tangible benefit for me and a craving something.

I learned this with caffeine first. I quit coffee shortly after quitting alcohol. It was the pandemic and I was retired. I had no reason to force myself to have artificial energy. If I was tired, I just rested.

Quitting coffee was mind blowing, and in the short term, way more intense than quitting alcohol; but I drank a lot more coffee than I did alcohol, so that makes sense.

But coffee cravings disappeared pretty quickly. After a few months I had none. However, I'm very aware when I actively, consciously want some caffeine. I might feel lethargic and want a boost because I'm in the mood to be more alert or I have something to do.

It's not exciting at all, it doesn't feel very satisfying, it's like taking an acid reducer if I have reflux, or eating a crappy protein bar because I'm hungry and it's what's available. I proactively want it, it does the job reasonably well, but there's zero excitement, because it's just not objectively that great.

Cravings make consumption exciting and very, very satisfying.

Looking back, it now feels weird and uncomfortable to remember how excited I would get about my daytime coffee and evening wine. Like, who gets that jazzed over beverages that both cause heartburn and fuck with my sleep??

I'm back to having caffeine every morning because my MD wanted to put me on narcotic stimulants for narcolepsy-ish symptoms and I was like "uh, no, I'll try some tea first, thanks ya frickin' pusher" and the tea has been sufficient. I need an addiction to narcotic stimulants like I need a bullet in the head. Fuuuck.

But I don't "love" the tea the way I LOVED the morning coffee, or the way I LOOOOOOVED the evening wine. That was downright fetishistic, and that's the kind of blissed-out response that cravings create when the brain gets it's fix.

It's one of the great ironies of life that finding something extremely satisfying is a strong indicator that you may have a pathological relationship with it.

Now that I can so clearly identify cravings, I'm very, very careful which ones I reinforce by giving in to them. If it's something u I really healthy, like getting out in nature, then I lean in whole heartedly into the craving and satisfaction. But if the craving is for something that can cause harm??? I now give it a serious side eye.

It's that old overdone wolf parable. You strengthen the wolf you feed. You strengthen whatever cravings you give in to.

Dee

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1423 on: January 03, 2023, 09:34:30 AM »
Oh, I like that as an approach, Malcat, that if you ever choose to drink, it's not in response to a craving. I'm planning on doing my 2 years alcohol free and only then thinking about a new goal. But that's one to keep in mind for when the time comes. Or maybe I'll then decide to just stay alcohol free because it's simpler and I just don't have to give it any thought. To be determined...in like, a year and a half.

sonofsven

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1424 on: January 03, 2023, 09:47:46 AM »
I made it through the holidays without a drink! That was a milestone for me. In 2021, I had quit drinking *except* for the last two weeks of the year, so I did have an alcohol-induced holiday season. I had been planning the same, more or less, for 2022, and had allowed myself to drink during a summer vacation. Thoughts on this thread led me to decide to do a full 2 years alcohol-free before revisiting the question of whether I wanted to drink again. So in August, I decided to commit to that. And thereby had an AF holiday period. I had some cravings but was overall so much better off in abstaining. Cheers to all of you AF posters!
Good job getting through the holidays.
I remember when I quit I set goals as well, the first was to not drink for a set amount of time. But when that tine passed, and I did have a drink (after a particular incident related to the impending explosion of my marriage), within a week I was drinking similar amounts to before I quit, which was not at all the reset I was looking for.
So I quit again (quitting is easy! ;-) but this time with no goal except one: I wasn't going to drink that day.
And the next day I had the same goal.
I would get asked by friends and family what my goals were, how long was I going to abstain, would I really quit "FOREVER"?
I never really answered the question directly,  I just said "I don't know, but for right now, I'm not drinking".
I knew in my heart that I should never drink again but instead of confronting that scary (to me, at that time) proposition I just put it off to a proverbial "someday".
Now, nearly thirteen years sober, I really don't think about alcohol at all. It truly does not interest me.
The positive changes in my life from this decision are just taken for granted, a sure sign that it was the right decision.
But people have different experiences with alcohol. My partner, who I have been with for the entire time, can take it or leave it.
She'll have half a glass of wine and just leave it, so I wouldn't say she has a negative relationship with alcohol.
But I sure did, and that revelation was what pushed me to quit entirely. I was never going to have that kind of relationship with alcohol.

mspym

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1425 on: January 03, 2023, 12:02:10 PM »
@Dee well done on getting through the holidays - it’s not an easy time given how much alcohol is pushed at this time of the year.

I had some quiet time on my trip and used it to reread Kristi Coulter’s fantastic memoir Nothing Good Can Come From This which I last read in my first year of not drinking. I enjoyed it at the time but really appreciated it now that I have enough distance from the discomfort of identification with the author.

Metalcat

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1426 on: January 03, 2023, 12:26:24 PM »
@Dee well done on getting through the holidays - it’s not an easy time given how much alcohol is pushed at this time of the year.

I had some quiet time on my trip and used it to reread Kristi Coulter’s fantastic memoir Nothing Good Can Come From This which I last read in my first year of not drinking. I enjoyed it at the time but really appreciated it now that I have enough distance from the discomfort of identification with the author.

Oh, I loved reading her stuff. I related so much to her time, attitude, history etc at the time. It felt like looking into the future had I kept on the same path longer.

familyandfarming

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1427 on: January 03, 2023, 03:07:26 PM »
I know “I’m late to this party”, but here’s my 2 cents. My 8 years older than me brother died of alcoholism at the age of 46. Gruesome stuff. (He was an attorney and could argue until the cows came home about how he didn’t have a problem.) Though only an occasional drinker, I quit drinking the day of his funeral.

Fast forward to 6 months ago. I went to a doctor to talk about my weight. Long story short, I was diagnosed with mild ADHD, at the age of 64. Medication stopped my random eating patterns. I’m now at goal weight and have a quiet mind.

I now wonder how much my brother’s alcoholism had to do with perhaps a case of ADHD?

Good luck to everyone who is working through any of this.

chasingsnow

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1428 on: January 04, 2023, 10:37:54 PM »
Posting to follow and joining in on the discussion. Embarking on a booze free 2023

rosarugosa

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1429 on: January 05, 2023, 05:01:16 AM »
I have quietly followed this thread almost since the beginning. In September, I had reason to change my relationship with alcohol, and the recommendations for Annie Grace's Alcohol Experiment website and book were invaluable.  I committed to 30 days alcohol free, and I actually went 50 days before deciding to have a glass of chardonnay with a nice seafood dinner in a restaurant. I've gone from someone who had several drinks a week to someone who has a couple of drinks a month or less, and never more than one at a time.  It's a definite attitude shift, but I think I'm enjoying my alcohol-free Proxies and Sorrel even more than wine.  I've learned that the feeling of "I need a drink" really translates to "I need to do something nice to soothe myself," and a cup of tea or other AF beverage works just fine.
The only downside is $$, which I mention because this is after all the MMM Forum.  The better mocktails are quite a bit more expensive than the fairly inexpensive wines that I favored.  I still consider it a worthwhile expenditure.

Metalcat

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1430 on: January 05, 2023, 05:54:15 AM »
I have quietly followed this thread almost since the beginning. In September, I had reason to change my relationship with alcohol, and the recommendations for Annie Grace's Alcohol Experiment website and book were invaluable.  I committed to 30 days alcohol free, and I actually went 50 days before deciding to have a glass of chardonnay with a nice seafood dinner in a restaurant. I've gone from someone who had several drinks a week to someone who has a couple of drinks a month or less, and never more than one at a time.  It's a definite attitude shift, but I think I'm enjoying my alcohol-free Proxies and Sorrel even more than wine.  I've learned that the feeling of "I need a drink" really translates to "I need to do something nice to soothe myself," and a cup of tea or other AF beverage works just fine.
The only downside is $$, which I mention because this is after all the MMM Forum.  The better mocktails are quite a bit more expensive than the fairly inexpensive wines that I favored.  I still consider it a worthwhile expenditure.

I have myself permission to spend whatever I wanted on sobriety for the first two years. Only in year 3 did DH and I start talking about scaling back on the expensive AF drinks.

The health benefits are totally worth the cost of a few years of really expensive juice.

For me, I look back on those 2 years of free-for-all spending on AF drinks as some of the best money I ever spent, because doing the full 2 years and not feeling deprived was key to fully developing a happy AF habit.

If that results in me never spending on alcohol for the rest of my life, then the scales are solidly tipped in my financial favour.

The second half of year 3 got to the point where I no longer need the high quality mocktail to feel satisfied anymore. I still get annoyed at expensive restaurants that have nothing to offer me but children's drinks and water. But otherwise, if I'm out at a casual place and my only option is soda water, I'm chill about it now. That took awhile.

We now buy the cheapest NA beers, we don't go through nearly as many, and we generally only have something as fancy as proxies at the cafe where we first discovered it, so it's more about having a high end date with a fancy beverage rather than the fancy beverage, if that makes sense.

I have zero regrets about spending whatever I needed to to make sobriety not feel like deprivation.

If someone can guarantee you superior health, sleep, mood, easier weight management, and better memory of all of life's special events by buying a few thousand dollars of tasty juice, that's a great deal.

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1431 on: January 05, 2023, 09:41:44 AM »
In the long run I have saved a ton of money being AF. I usually order a AF beer. Plus the other health benefits have been phenomenal as well as the significant weight loss.

mspym

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1432 on: January 05, 2023, 11:23:35 AM »
@rosarugosa congratulations on working out what the I need a drink feeling was really saying to you. That’s huge. Mine was generally “I don’t want to be here* and need a reward for putting up with it/numb out the feeling of being trapped”. Like Malcat I let myself order whatever drink or snack that I wanted for the first couple of years and now it’s all tapered off quite naturally.
 
*where this could be a noisy party or a stressful job or an impending awkward conversation that needed to happen. Life got a lot easier once I started taking care of the underlying issues.

rosarugosa

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1433 on: January 05, 2023, 12:32:10 PM »
Yes, I figure this will be a good investment in my wellbeing in the long run.  When I quit smoking, I told myself I could chew Nicorette for 38 years if I needed to, whatever it took to stay off the butts, because that was how long I had been a smoker.  Fortunately, I only needed to use it for 6 years, and now I feel like I was under an evil spell for all those smoking years, and I have no desire to ever smoke a cigarette again. 
I'm having fun with the mocktails for now though.  It's also funny to see how my social media newsfeed ads have switched over to all things zero alcohol instead of ads for wine.  Mocktails seem to be quite the booming industry.

Metalcat

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1434 on: January 05, 2023, 02:03:35 PM »
Yes, I figure this will be a good investment in my wellbeing in the long run.  When I quit smoking, I told myself I could chew Nicorette for 38 years if I needed to, whatever it took to stay off the butts, because that was how long I had been a smoker.  Fortunately, I only needed to use it for 6 years, and now I feel like I was under an evil spell for all those smoking years, and I have no desire to ever smoke a cigarette again. 
I'm having fun with the mocktails for now though.  It's also funny to see how my social media newsfeed ads have switched over to all things zero alcohol instead of ads for wine.  Mocktails seem to be quite the booming industry.

Oh yeah, mocktails are everywhere.

I was recently at one of my favourite little pub-ish restaurants, which has been there for decades, so it's not a new business, it has a very established clientele, and they have seven, SEVEN types of AF beers and ciders.


Frugal Lizard

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1435 on: January 05, 2023, 02:20:39 PM »
Our Christmas sucked royally. (Eldest gave us covid on Christmas Eve or Day)

I had three glasses of wine over the whole holiday season - and not even full glasses.  Just partial glasses for some toasts with really good wine that DH had been saving for the holiday.  I probably would have had a smaller sip if the bottle was being shared with more people. (if we had gone to a party but nope, we stayed home by ourselves for everything after the 24th.)


MustachioedPistachio

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1436 on: January 07, 2023, 03:56:14 PM »
I missed it by a few weeks now: over two years AF in mid-December.

There were many opportunities for festive libations, and yet it was easy to simply pass. I had some pushy folks (the guys, and most ironically, my MD friend), but after a few declinations, they moved on to enjoying their own brew.

Alcohol now smells like the chemical toxin it is. Even catching a whiff of some of my formerly favorite liquors left a lingering, odiferous sensation in my nostrils. Like weak isopropyl alcohol...yick.

LeftA

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1437 on: January 07, 2023, 05:10:37 PM »
@MustachioedPistachio , congratulations on the 2 years! I agree about how bad alcohol smells…

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1438 on: January 11, 2023, 02:14:29 AM »
I know “I’m late to this party”, but here’s my 2 cents. My 8 years older than me brother died of alcoholism at the age of 46. Gruesome stuff. (He was an attorney and could argue until the cows came home about how he didn’t have a problem.) Though only an occasional drinker, I quit drinking the day of his funeral.

Fast forward to 6 months ago. I went to a doctor to talk about my weight. Long story short, I was diagnosed with mild ADHD, at the age of 64. Medication stopped my random eating patterns. I’m now at goal weight and have a quiet mind.

I now wonder how much my brother’s alcoholism had to do with perhaps a case of ADHD?

Good luck to everyone who is working through any of this.

I'm so sorry about your brother.  That is truly tragic.  I was diagnosed recently with ADHD at age 50 and am now medicated and going through treatment.  It's highly hereditary - in my case several very close family members were all diagnosed (or are highly suspected to have had it) at the same time but it's too late for several of them.  Substance abuse disorders, eating disorders and other addictions are all very much associated with untreated ADHD and tragically, until recently, there was very little knowledge of girls/women (in particular) with ADHD and ADHD in general. 

LightStache

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1439 on: January 11, 2023, 09:15:36 AM »
Just wrapped up three months AF with a glass of wine at a fancy bar with my parents. I really enjoyed the taste and the experience -- it wouldn't have been the same with a mocktail. But the alcohol itself didn't make me feel good.

I had the wine early afternoon, then I went on a five mile weighted hike from 4p-6p. I was tired at 9p and went to bed, but I was anxious and restless until about midnight. My Garmin watch recorded an unusually high level of stress peaking at 1030p. It's impossible to tell if that was due to the late hike or alcohol, but I suspect the latter to have contributed. So I'll be keeping my drinking very light for awhile longer ... maybe forever.

Blissful Biker

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1440 on: January 12, 2023, 12:07:21 PM »
Just wrapped up three months AF with a glass of wine at a fancy bar with my parents. I really enjoyed the taste and the experience -- it wouldn't have been the same with a mocktail. But the alcohol itself didn't make me feel good.

I had the wine early afternoon, then I went on a five mile weighted hike from 4p-6p. I was tired at 9p and went to bed, but I was anxious and restless until about midnight. My Garmin watch recorded an unusually high level of stress peaking at 1030p. It's impossible to tell if that was due to the late hike or alcohol, but I suspect the latter to have contributed. So I'll be keeping my drinking very light for awhile longer ... maybe forever.

I'm approaching 2 years AF and one of the contributing factors was my Oura ring data on evenings that I drank, even a little bit.  I knew intuitively that I didn't sleep as well but I couldn't ignore it after seeing it so clearly and consistently in the data.  I love sleep!  Far more I loved that glass of wine.  Going AF has been a really positive change for me.

mspym

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1441 on: January 12, 2023, 12:43:29 PM »
This popped up on my feed recently about the drinking culture in cycling. Man, the cancer linkage is still mind blowing.
https://www.bicycling.com/health-nutrition/a42259477/cycling-drinking-alcohol-effects/

2Birds1Stone

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1442 on: January 13, 2023, 05:16:05 AM »
Thanks for sharing @mspym, that was a long but good read.

NotJen

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1443 on: January 13, 2023, 07:35:11 AM »
This popped up on my feed recently about the drinking culture in cycling. Man, the cancer linkage is still mind blowing.
https://www.bicycling.com/health-nutrition/a42259477/cycling-drinking-alcohol-effects/

Great read, thanks!



So here I am.  I only started regularly drinking alcohol at 30, and it probably peaked when I was 40, when my retirement and the pandemic coincided.  I started reducing my drinking last year after reading several articles like the one above about how no amount of alcohol is good for you.  I almost completely stopped drinking at home, and only drank socially.  Unfortunately, I haven't really noticed any benefit to this reduction, other than saving money - was hoping it would be reflected in my weight, but no such luck.

I am currently 10 days AF, not really on purpose (I don't have a desire to drink when I'm sad).  I would try to continue this streak, but I'm moving in a few weeks and can envision 2-4 situations where I may want to have a drink before I leave town, and I want to allow those to occur if I feel up for it.

My goal is a dry February (or whenever in Jan my last social drink is), and will go from there.

Metalcat

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1444 on: January 21, 2023, 08:20:38 PM »
It's hitting a tipping point folks!

Quitting or reducing alcohol is the new big thing. So for anyone joining this thread, you've picked a great time to cut back.

Note that this article is from the east coast of Canada, a region famous for its drinking culture. So it's a big deal that they're seeing a huge uptick in NA beer demand.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/prince-edward-island/drinking-guidelines-brewery-reactions-1.6721372

LeftA

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1445 on: January 21, 2023, 09:14:00 PM »
@Metalcat , for probably the first time in my life I’m avant-garde!!

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1446 on: January 22, 2023, 11:42:28 AM »
I was thinking of this thread while reading some reactions to the new two drinks per week guidelines in Canada. A lot of people are very upset about them and are comparing it to prohibition, when it's really an acknowledgement that any potential health benefits are overblown, and even small amounts of alcohol have detrimental effects. Nobody is forcing people to cut down their drinking, but this increases the awareness of alcohol as a harmful drug. The more alcohol free options that exist, the more people can keep up the fun parts of alcohol (socializing, enjoying the taste of a beverage) without the hangover and increased risk of disease.

Metalcat

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1447 on: January 22, 2023, 11:57:53 AM »
I was thinking of this thread while reading some reactions to the new two drinks per week guidelines in Canada. A lot of people are very upset about them and are comparing it to prohibition, when it's really an acknowledgement that any potential health benefits are overblown, and even small amounts of alcohol have detrimental effects. Nobody is forcing people to cut down their drinking, but this increases the awareness of alcohol as a harmful drug. The more alcohol free options that exist, the more people can keep up the fun parts of alcohol (socializing, enjoying the taste of a beverage) without the hangover and increased risk of disease.

I know, I laugh at people getting bent out of shape about the guidelines. Guidelines don't dictate anyone's behaviour. The guidelines for flossing are daily, for exercise is 150 minutes per week, and for vegetables is 5-10 servings a day, and people happily go about their lives ignoring those guidelines, so why would anyone think alcohol guidelines are any different?

GuitarStv

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1448 on: January 22, 2023, 02:58:05 PM »
Well, I've given up alcohol entirely since the new guidelines came out.  So there are a few of us out there . . .

Metalcat

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Re: Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!
« Reply #1449 on: January 22, 2023, 03:26:17 PM »
Well, I've given up alcohol entirely since the new guidelines came out.  So there are a few of us out there . . .

That's not my point at all.

People choosing to follow the new guidelines is not the same as the new guidelines being imposed on people. People are still free to ignore them as much as they want to. So comparing them to prohibition is ridiculous.