Give Up the Hooch: Booze Free for as long as you please!

[mm1970]

I too have felt the urge in the last week.  Thus far in Feb, I've had 2 drinks total.  (Canned sparkling wine that I split with my spouse).  I have a few bottles of wine in the closet and 8 more coming.  I have a tendency to acquire wine from my wine clubs in Jan and Feb and March and then save them up until our Sunday potluck moves from breakfast to dinner.

January wasn't as great - I went to a few parties and had a few drinks.  Then I drank a bottle the last week my husband was traveling. It took a full 7 days to get through it though!

What helps me - as @wenchsenior  said is that when I feel the urge, if I stop and ask myself why, it goes away.  Usually it's no real reason.  I've found so far this year that I am relaxing by doing a lot more reading and playing board games with my kids.  My husband will be traveling a lot in March, I'll have to develop a good tea habit.

Anyway, I had no goals for Feb, really.  Basically my loose goals for the year are
1. Don't go to the winery to have a glass (it's free for members) - not hard, cuz I'm busy.
2.  Don't buy wine at the store (fail for Feb with the 2 cans).  That's the hardest part for me - when I want a glass of wine, I only want ONE.  I don't want to open a bottle.
3.  Don't open an existing bottle unless you are sharing with 2 other people.

I see it with some friends and acquaintances that it becomes a crutch.  People sometimes drink a LOT and it is habit forming!

[wenchsenior]

I am so SO thankful I stopped all but very occasional drinking last year (after being a near daily drinker for decades).  It has done wonders for my baseline anxiety level.  One of my sisters has a personality very similar to mine and reacts to stress similarly. She is still a regular drinker, and her anxiety has been absolutely through the roof this past 2 weeks. Whereas I have been pretty damn chill, all things considered. But I can see in her exactly how I would have been reacting had I still been in my previous regular drinking mode.

A little over a year ago, I would have used this crisis as a reason to 'loosen up' on my 2 drinks/day rule, and things could have gone south in a hurry, depending on how long this crisis lasts.

Just feeling really thankful right now.  Good decision, me!

[lexde]

I am so SO thankful I stopped all but very occasional drinking last year (after being a near daily drinker for decades).  It has done wonders for my baseline anxiety level.  One of my sisters has a personality very similar to mine and reacts to stress similarly. She is still a regular drinker, and her anxiety has been absolutely through the roof this past 2 weeks. Whereas I have been pretty damn chill, all things considered. But I can see in her exactly how I would have been reacting had I still been in my previous regular drinking mode.

A little over a year ago, I would have used this crisis as a reason to 'loosen up' on my 2 drinks/day rule, and things could have gone south in a hurry, depending on how long this crisis lasts.

Just feeling really thankful right now.  Good decision, me!

Nicely done!

[BikeFanatic]

I have to agree that the drinking really doesnt help the anxiety and it also makes it worse IMO. Great job everyone.

[Metalcat]

Same, super happy to be not drinking through this whole thing. I can really see now how that would not help the situation.

[mm1970]

I am so SO thankful I stopped all but very occasional drinking last year (after being a near daily drinker for decades).  It has done wonders for my baseline anxiety level.  One of my sisters has a personality very similar to mine and reacts to stress similarly. She is still a regular drinker, and her anxiety has been absolutely through the roof this past 2 weeks. Whereas I have been pretty damn chill, all things considered. But I can see in her exactly how I would have been reacting had I still been in my previous regular drinking mode.

A little over a year ago, I would have used this crisis as a reason to 'loosen up' on my 2 drinks/day rule, and things could have gone south in a hurry, depending on how long this crisis lasts.

Just feeling really thankful right now.  Good decision, me!

Yay for you!

I admit, day 1 of the social distancing was my son's 14th birthday. I opened a bottle of wine.  At that point we knew "no school for 3 weeks".  Now it looks like not till fall.  I drank the whole bottle over the space of 6 days.

But now I'm aiming to keep to no wine for quite awhile.  If I'm going to be WFH full time and trying to homeschool part time, then I need my wits.  And since there's nobody to share the wine with as long as everyone has to be at home... Maybe I'll come out the other side of this thing a few pounds lighter.  (Not because of the alcohol, I don't drink much.  More because I'm snacking less because I don't want to run out of food!)

[Frugal Lizard]

I too am feeling so much better without booze.  I even went on holiday for 8 days without a sip of alcohol.

[fredbear]

Same, super happy to be not drinking through this whole thing. I can really see now how that would not help the situation.

That was one of my motivators too, back when.  I was unemployed, and thought, "It's dumb to pour a chemical depressant onto a depressing situation."  So I didn't. 

[mspym]

Same, super happy to be not drinking through this whole thing. I can really see now how that would not help the situation.

That was one of my thoughts yesterday - just such a relief that it's not a thing I do anymore. Ofpym bought a 6-pack of beer and that will last him 4-6 weeks and I have a cupboard full of herbal teas, all of which I enjoy, to choose from.

[Metalcat]

Same, super happy to be not drinking through this whole thing. I can really see now how that would not help the situation.

That was one of my motivators too, back when.  I was unemployed, and thought, "It's dumb to pour a chemical depressant onto a depressing situation."  So I didn't.

I feel like the stress of the current situation, combined with the boredom and loneliness of isolation will push a lot of habitual stress drinkers into full alcoholism.

I'm also not surprised that booze stores are being considered "essential" where I live, as they're probably very essential for keeping people at home.

[mspym]

Same, super happy to be not drinking through this whole thing. I can really see now how that would not help the situation.

That was one of my motivators too, back when.  I was unemployed, and thought, "It's dumb to pour a chemical depressant onto a depressing situation."  So I didn't.

I feel like the stress of the current situation, combined with the boredom and loneliness of isolation will push a lot of habitual stress drinkers into full alcoholism.

I'm also not surprised that booze stores are being considered "essential" where I live, as they're probably very essential for keeping people at home.

Also, if you are a heavy drinker, accidental detox is no laughing matter.

[BikeFanatic]

I agree I was wondering earlier in the situation if they were going to keep liquor stores open just so people do not withdraw ( or revolt), The hospitals do not need a rush of people with seizures and other alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

I don't think a stressful time like now is a good time to quit either, just my 2 cents. Better when all supports are available like in person AA for example. The moderate to heavy drinking crowd who quit before may be able to pull it off though. If anyone is thinking of quitting I do recommend Annie grace book This Naked Mind.  Also has a web site the alcohol experiment 30 days sober challenge. It has been discussed earlier in this thread.  I have two episodes of 7 months sobriety after reading the book.

[wenchsenior]

I agree I was wondering earlier in the situation if they were going to keep liquor stores open just so people do not withdraw ( or revolt), The hospitals do not need a rush of people with seizures and other alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

I don't think a stressful time like now is a good time to quit either, just my 2 cents. Better when all supports are available like in person AA for example. The moderate to heavy drinking crowd who quit before may be able to pull it off though. If anyone is thinking of quitting I do recommend Annie grace book This Naked Mind.  Also has a web site the alcohol experiment 30 days sober challenge. It has been discussed earlier in this thread.  I have two episodes of 7 months sobriety after reading the book.

I think this might be a good time to try to quit for one specific subset of people: the highly socially triggered drinkers.  ETA: Obs not if one is physically dependent, though.

[BikeFanatic]

I mean it might be a good time to consider quitting Going out to dinner all the time too!

I have very few cravings but sitting at a bar with the taps right in front of me  is tempting. I have also been tempted at the RV show where they served beer. Hell they serve beer almost every where so why not just stay in and eat at home?

Even folks who do not think they are problem drinkers could learn a few things by taking a moth or more off. I saw a video an english sounding guy made he said he wasnt a heavy drinker but he skipped his usual 4-5 beers a session and now feels great after 2 weeks and said he may even have experienced some withdrawal ( headache).

[MonkeyJenga]

Same, super happy to be not drinking through this whole thing. I can really see now how that would not help the situation.

That was one of my motivators too, back when.  I was unemployed, and thought, "It's dumb to pour a chemical depressant onto a depressing situation."  So I didn't.

I feel like the stress of the current situation, combined with the boredom and loneliness of isolation will push a lot of habitual stress drinkers into full alcoholism.

I've had around 4 drinks in the last year, and even I was tempted the other night. That was more because it was a tasty sugary drink, though.

[Metalcat]

I agree I was wondering earlier in the situation if they were going to keep liquor stores open just so people do not withdraw ( or revolt), The hospitals do not need a rush of people with seizures and other alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

I don't think a stressful time like now is a good time to quit either, just my 2 cents. Better when all supports are available like in person AA for example. The moderate to heavy drinking crowd who quit before may be able to pull it off though. If anyone is thinking of quitting I do recommend Annie grace book This Naked Mind.  Also has a web site the alcohol experiment 30 days sober challenge. It has been discussed earlier in this thread.  I have two episodes of 7 months sobriety after reading the book.

I think it depends on the person.
I'm taking this time to try quitting coffee on top of being alcohol free, but that said, I'm not overly stressed at the moment. In fact, quite the opposite. This is the first time in a decade that I'm actually mentally free of my work.

[fredbear]

[

I feel like the stress of the current situation, combined with the boredom and loneliness of isolation will push a lot of habitual stress drinkers into full alcoholism.
...

"We  had  to  drink because  times  were  hard  or  times  were  good.  We  had  to  drink because at home we were smothered with love or got none at all. We had to drink because at work we were great successes or dismal failures. We had to drink because our nation had won a war or lost a peace. And so it went, ad infinitum."  From the Big Book, Fourth Step.  You could fill pages, even from the conversation of only a single voluble drinker, with neatly parallel contradictory explanations for their drinking.  The only one that hadn't a countervailing positive was the most fundamental: "I drank to kill myself under the most degrading circumstances I could create." 

I lost a brother-in-law, in his case by smoking, for whom quitting was contingent.  "Once I get established in the new department..."  "Once this paper gets through peer review..." "When the book is printed...."  "Once I get tenure..."  Each condition, met, engendered a new condition, until cancer closed out the sequence. 

The mind echoes with cittavrittis, and it's easy to harness them to create excuses for staying you.  So the drinker can discover that there is never a perfect or even a good time to quit, and never do it. 

[Accrual]

Guys -

Glad I found this thread. Currently 33 days off the sauce. Lots of inspiration in this thread. Will be checking in periodically.

[BikeFanatic]

Way to go Accru! How did it go, just stopped  or planned it?

[mm1970]

Same, super happy to be not drinking through this whole thing. I can really see now how that would not help the situation.

That was one of my motivators too, back when.  I was unemployed, and thought, "It's dumb to pour a chemical depressant onto a depressing situation."  So I didn't.

I feel like the stress of the current situation, combined with the boredom and loneliness of isolation will push a lot of habitual stress drinkers into full alcoholism.

I'm also not surprised that booze stores are being considered "essential" where I live, as they're probably very essential for keeping people at home.

I have a couple of friends who fear they are becoming alcoholic right now.

[mm1970]

I agree I was wondering earlier in the situation if they were going to keep liquor stores open just so people do not withdraw ( or revolt), The hospitals do not need a rush of people with seizures and other alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

I don't think a stressful time like now is a good time to quit either, just my 2 cents. Better when all supports are available like in person AA for example. The moderate to heavy drinking crowd who quit before may be able to pull it off though. If anyone is thinking of quitting I do recommend Annie grace book This Naked Mind.  Also has a web site the alcohol experiment 30 days sober challenge. It has been discussed earlier in this thread.  I have two episodes of 7 months sobriety after reading the book.

I think it depends on the person.
I'm taking this time to try quitting coffee on top of being alcohol free, but that said, I'm not overly stressed at the moment. In fact, quite the opposite. This is the first time in a decade that I'm actually mentally free of my work.

I gave up coffee about 1.5 months ago.  I cannot remember exactly when my last cup was.  Maybe I've had one or two?

I have on and off digestive issues, and giving up wheat 2.5 years ago really helped.  But it didn't fix everything.  I started suspecting coffee was occasionally giving me fits and...boy I really do feel a TON better.  I still drink tea.

[BikeFanatic]

I wonder if it was the caffiene or the coffee itself. I went to decaf after having indigestion bad for a while and seemed to have helped.

[Metalcat]

Same, super happy to be not drinking through this whole thing. I can really see now how that would not help the situation.

That was one of my motivators too, back when.  I was unemployed, and thought, "It's dumb to pour a chemical depressant onto a depressing situation."  So I didn't.

I feel like the stress of the current situation, combined with the boredom and loneliness of isolation will push a lot of habitual stress drinkers into full alcoholism.

I'm also not surprised that booze stores are being considered "essential" where I live, as they're probably very essential for keeping people at home.

I have a couple of friends who fear they are becoming alcoholic right now.

I'm really not surprised.
I've read a bunch about alcoholism/addiction as I have to for one of my upcoming volunteer roles, and it seems like once alcohol starts being used as a coping mechanism for stress, that's really the starting point for problems.

Pair that with social isolation and boredom, and it's a dangerous combo for anyone who is already accustom to alcohol being a source of comfort.

[Tyson]

I agree I was wondering earlier in the situation if they were going to keep liquor stores open just so people do not withdraw ( or revolt), The hospitals do not need a rush of people with seizures and other alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

I don't think a stressful time like now is a good time to quit either, just my 2 cents. Better when all supports are available like in person AA for example. The moderate to heavy drinking crowd who quit before may be able to pull it off though. If anyone is thinking of quitting I do recommend Annie grace book This Naked Mind.  Also has a web site the alcohol experiment 30 days sober challenge. It has been discussed earlier in this thread.  I have two episodes of 7 months sobriety after reading the book.

I think it depends on the person.
I'm taking this time to try quitting coffee on top of being alcohol free, but that said, I'm not overly stressed at the moment. In fact, quite the opposite. This is the first time in a decade that I'm actually mentally free of my work.

I gave up coffee about 1.5 months ago.  I cannot remember exactly when my last cup was.  Maybe I've had one or two?

I have on and off digestive issues, and giving up wheat 2.5 years ago really helped.  But it didn't fix everything.  I started suspecting coffee was occasionally giving me fits and...boy I really do feel a TON better.  I still drink tea.

You sound like me.  All those things were problematic for me, and I feel a lot better after having eliminated them.  I sleep better too.

[Accrual]

Way to go Accru! How did it go, just stopped  or planned it?

Hi BikeFanatic,

I have known I needed to cut down for a few years. I was not a daily drinker, but when I did indulge, I binged. Decided to try and quit after a pretty nasty binge (just over a month ago). The social distancing has definitely worked in my favor in terms of trying to quit, as I always drank in groups, not by myself.

The real test is going to be once social distancing ceases. My hope is to leverage groups such as this, as well as r/stopdrinking on Reddit, to continue on the Path.

[onemorebike]

Now is a hard time for those that have stopped drinking to keep NOT drinking. Just stopping in to say hello, and be a sounding board for anyone who is still trying to keep with this goal but the stress of pandemic is making it difficult.

Be well, friends!

onemorebike

[BikeFanatic]

Hey Accrual,
Good luck with your motivation and hope you can hold steady stay the course. I feel so much better I just dont think I can go back unless there was so kind of stress that I could not handle otherwise. Comradery helps alot, I will check out Reddit forum on sober living, or whatever they call it.

[Metalcat]

Now is a hard time for those that have stopped drinking to keep NOT drinking. Just stopping in to say hello, and be a sounding board for anyone who is still trying to keep with this goal but the stress of pandemic is making it difficult.

Be well, friends!

onemorebike

Quite the opposite for me, I quit Jan 1st and every day I'm thrilled not to be someone who drinks in response to stress anymore. It's great.

[mspym]

@Accrual r/stopdrinking are an amazing bunch of people who helped me get OK with the idea of giving up and then going through with it. I don't hang out on reddit anymore but that was one of the Internet's Good Places.

Given your drinking patterns, you might want to game out how you would do this once isolation is over. I know you have got this.

[mm1970]

I wonder if it was the caffiene or the coffee itself. I went to decaf after having indigestion bad for a while and seemed to have helped.

I suspect the coffee itself.  Coffee is well known for its effects on digestion (in fact, I used to use it purposely on long run days to "clear things out" so to speak, before my run).

I drink tea with caffeine.

[Joe Schmo]

But really though...if we live through this can I just drink one bottle of Pendleton...pleeeeeaaaaase.

[Ozstache]

But really though...if we live through this can I just drink one bottle of Pendleton...pleeeeeaaaaase.

The more you really need a drink at the end of this, the more you don't ...

[paulkots]

Now is a hard time for those that have stopped drinking to keep NOT drinking. Just stopping in to say hello, and be a sounding board for anyone who is still trying to keep with this goal but the stress of pandemic is making it difficult.

Be well, friends!

onemorebike

Quite the opposite for me, I quit Jan 1st and every day I'm thrilled not to be someone who drinks in response to stress anymore. It's great.

x2. Had only one drink(wine) about a month ago since January 1st. In times like these, I am actually happy I don't drink. Easier on the wallet, better for the health and better sleep. The bet I made on January 1st was until April 1st but I now extended that to May 1st and will probably extend it another month every time.

I have wanted to get a drink a few times but its always a social thing, would not want to be at home self-medicating stress/worry of the current events. I found that riding a bike, working in the garage and around the house is a better stress reliever.

[Metalcat]

Now is a hard time for those that have stopped drinking to keep NOT drinking. Just stopping in to say hello, and be a sounding board for anyone who is still trying to keep with this goal but the stress of pandemic is making it difficult.

Be well, friends!

onemorebike

Quite the opposite for me, I quit Jan 1st and every day I'm thrilled not to be someone who drinks in response to stress anymore. It's great.

x2. Had only one drink(wine) about a month ago since January 1st. In times like these, I am actually happy I don't drink. Easier on the wallet, better for the health and better sleep. The bet I made on January 1st was until April 1st but I now extended that to May 1st and will probably extend it another month every time.

I have wanted to get a drink a few times but its always a social thing, would not want to be at home self-medicating stress/worry of the current events. I found that riding a bike, working in the garage and around the house is a better stress reliever.

I've had a few moments of really wanting wine at home, socially it's easy for me not to drink, I was always a relaxation/meditative wine drinker. It's happened especially since giving up coffee, I think it's like a crossed-wires craving thing.
Anyhoo, whenever that happens, I do 20 flights of stairs, it takes very little time, and the endorphin boost is great.

[Accrual]

@Accrual r/stopdrinking are an amazing bunch of people who helped me get OK with the idea of giving up and then going through with it. I don't hang out on reddit anymore but that was one of the Internet's Good Places.

Given your drinking patterns, you might want to game out how you would do this once isolation is over. I know you have got this.

Hi mspym,

I agree - I need to have a game plan for once the isolation is over. I know all my friends are going to want to celebrate the end of isolation by drinking.

One idea is to lie and tell them I am on medication and cannot consume due to the side effects. This isn't the best idea because it allows for follow up questions (what are you sick with, what medication, etc.) and I will have to keep digging myself deeper into the lie.

Perhaps lying can carry me over to when I have more sober days under my belt and I have the courage of my convictions to tell them the truth - I like being sober more so than drunk.

[mspym]

@Accrual I didn't use the medication line because too many options for follow up. I found it easiest to start with "I'm taking a break for a bit" and then transition into "it worked out really well for me so I decided to continue, <insert subject change about their life or mutual interests>".

So for your situation, you could actually use the current situation to your advantage "took a break while we were in lockdown and wanted to continue it because of (the weightloss/ sleep/ random health benefit), how did you guys cope with all being in the house?"

Something that makes it not a Big Thing attracts less attention when you don't want to discuss it. I think you could come up with a couple of variations that you could roll between as needed until things are less raw. Maybe some up with some gettogether plans that could have alcohol but don't have to revolve around it?

And I am so pleased that you are enjoying being sober! That is great news. INTERNET HIGH FIVES

[Metalcat]

@Accrual r/stopdrinking are an amazing bunch of people who helped me get OK with the idea of giving up and then going through with it. I don't hang out on reddit anymore but that was one of the Internet's Good Places.

Given your drinking patterns, you might want to game out how you would do this once isolation is over. I know you have got this.

Hi mspym,

I agree - I need to have a game plan for once the isolation is over. I know all my friends are going to want to celebrate the end of isolation by drinking.

One idea is to lie and tell them I am on medication and cannot consume due to the side effects. This isn't the best idea because it allows for follow up questions (what are you sick with, what medication, etc.) and I will have to keep digging myself deeper into the lie.

Perhaps lying can carry me over to when I have more sober days under my belt and I have the courage of my convictions to tell them the truth - I like being sober more so than drunk.

I'm on a drug trial, so that's an easy out for me.

However, DH is staying sober in solidarity and very few people give him any hassle as a result.

So if you really don't feel comfortable and want some cover, you can stretch the truth and say that you are staying sober in solidarity with a loved one who is trying to quit. No one needs to know that your loved one is actually you.

It also shuts down questions because it makes a lot of sense that you wouldn't go into details about someone else's very private business.

[wenchsenior]

@Accrual r/stopdrinking are an amazing bunch of people who helped me get OK with the idea of giving up and then going through with it. I don't hang out on reddit anymore but that was one of the Internet's Good Places.

Given your drinking patterns, you might want to game out how you would do this once isolation is over. I know you have got this.

Hi mspym,

I agree - I need to have a game plan for once the isolation is over. I know all my friends are going to want to celebrate the end of isolation by drinking.

One idea is to lie and tell them I am on medication and cannot consume due to the side effects. This isn't the best idea because it allows for follow up questions (what are you sick with, what medication, etc.) and I will have to keep digging myself deeper into the lie.

Perhaps lying can carry me over to when I have more sober days under my belt and I have the courage of my convictions to tell them the truth - I like being sober more so than drunk.

How about simply saying, I took a break as part of a program of trying to get healthier, and found I just feel a lot better without?

I just stick to "I'm trying to make healthier lifestyle decisions, and this is part of that." Though I acknowledge, this line wouldn't work so well if I was e.g., 200 lbs and eating french fries as I said it. 

But it's actually true.  I've never had anyone push back on it.

[Metalcat]

@Accrual r/stopdrinking are an amazing bunch of people who helped me get OK with the idea of giving up and then going through with it. I don't hang out on reddit anymore but that was one of the Internet's Good Places.

Given your drinking patterns, you might want to game out how you would do this once isolation is over. I know you have got this.

Hi mspym,

I agree - I need to have a game plan for once the isolation is over. I know all my friends are going to want to celebrate the end of isolation by drinking.

One idea is to lie and tell them I am on medication and cannot consume due to the side effects. This isn't the best idea because it allows for follow up questions (what are you sick with, what medication, etc.) and I will have to keep digging myself deeper into the lie.

Perhaps lying can carry me over to when I have more sober days under my belt and I have the courage of my convictions to tell them the truth - I like being sober more so than drunk.

How about simply saying, I took a break as part of a program of trying to get healthier, and found I just feel a lot better without?

I just stick to "I'm trying to make healthier lifestyle decisions, and this is part of that." Though I acknowledge, this line wouldn't work so well if I was e.g., 200 lbs and eating french fries as I said it. 

But it's actually true.  I've never had anyone push back on it.

It really depends on the person's social situation and their role within it, especially if they are surrounded by a lot of drinkers, who can react pretty oddly when confronted with one of their peers quitting for "health reasons".
Some people in some social environments will have no issues just politely telling people they're doing it for their health, others will face invasive questioning, pressure, or even bullying. I can totally understand people wanting some kind of shield from that.

[fredbear]

...
Perhaps lying can carry me over to when I have more sober days under my belt and I have the courage of my convictions to tell them the truth - I like being sober more so than drunk.

You get an idea of what "friendship" means to some people, early on in sobriety: exoneration by association.  I remember being startled to discover some thought it the better part of "friendship" to undercut my resolve and return me to my old ways.  A friend who had a serious problem with alcohol made a full year clean and sober; her husband thought they should celebrate with a bottle of her previous favorite champagne.  In the one case my friend did not want to think about his own drinking; in her husband's case he preferred no examination, not by her but especially not by him, of his orgiastic drug binges at a local music festival. 

You have a different suite of friends with different life stages; young couples with toddlers are an obvious instance.  There is much to be shared with other young couples in the same stage, and less of interest with your bachelor and bachelorette friends, who can't muster much fascination with the latest, richly detailed adventures in toilet training.  As your sobriety extends you will have less to share with your drinking buddies - and what you do have to share will not be welcome to some of them.  On balance it's a strong positive - some old friendships will strengthen and deepen, and some new friends will show up on a stronger foundation. 

[wenchsenior]

@Accrual r/stopdrinking are an amazing bunch of people who helped me get OK with the idea of giving up and then going through with it. I don't hang out on reddit anymore but that was one of the Internet's Good Places.

Given your drinking patterns, you might want to game out how you would do this once isolation is over. I know you have got this.

Hi mspym,

I agree - I need to have a game plan for once the isolation is over. I know all my friends are going to want to celebrate the end of isolation by drinking.

One idea is to lie and tell them I am on medication and cannot consume due to the side effects. This isn't the best idea because it allows for follow up questions (what are you sick with, what medication, etc.) and I will have to keep digging myself deeper into the lie.

Perhaps lying can carry me over to when I have more sober days under my belt and I have the courage of my convictions to tell them the truth - I like being sober more so than drunk.

How about simply saying, I took a break as part of a program of trying to get healthier, and found I just feel a lot better without?

I just stick to "I'm trying to make healthier lifestyle decisions, and this is part of that." Though I acknowledge, this line wouldn't work so well if I was e.g., 200 lbs and eating french fries as I said it. 

But it's actually true.  I've never had anyone push back on it.

It really depends on the person's social situation and their role within it, especially if they are surrounded by a lot of drinkers, who can react pretty oddly when confronted with one of their peers quitting for "health reasons".
Some people in some social environments will have no issues just politely telling people they're doing it for their health, others will face invasive questioning, pressure, or even bullying. I can totally understand people wanting some kind of shield from that.

Ugh. That's depressing.

[Metalcat]

@Accrual r/stopdrinking are an amazing bunch of people who helped me get OK with the idea of giving up and then going through with it. I don't hang out on reddit anymore but that was one of the Internet's Good Places.

Given your drinking patterns, you might want to game out how you would do this once isolation is over. I know you have got this.

Hi mspym,

I agree - I need to have a game plan for once the isolation is over. I know all my friends are going to want to celebrate the end of isolation by drinking.

One idea is to lie and tell them I am on medication and cannot consume due to the side effects. This isn't the best idea because it allows for follow up questions (what are you sick with, what medication, etc.) and I will have to keep digging myself deeper into the lie.

Perhaps lying can carry me over to when I have more sober days under my belt and I have the courage of my convictions to tell them the truth - I like being sober more so than drunk.

How about simply saying, I took a break as part of a program of trying to get healthier, and found I just feel a lot better without?

I just stick to "I'm trying to make healthier lifestyle decisions, and this is part of that." Though I acknowledge, this line wouldn't work so well if I was e.g., 200 lbs and eating french fries as I said it. 

But it's actually true.  I've never had anyone push back on it.

It really depends on the person's social situation and their role within it, especially if they are surrounded by a lot of drinkers, who can react pretty oddly when confronted with one of their peers quitting for "health reasons".
Some people in some social environments will have no issues just politely telling people they're doing it for their health, others will face invasive questioning, pressure, or even bullying. I can totally understand people wanting some kind of shield from that.

Ugh. That's depressing.

It's really not surprising, just look at how many dozens of threads there are where people ask for advice on how to explain or justify their frugality or early retirement. Vegetarians/vegans experience similar crap, hell, even people who exercise a lot or bike to work can get a fair amount of backlash. My DH even gets a ton of push back against the fact that he gets up really early in the morning.

It's a very common and very normal part of our culture, it's just a million times rougher for someone in the early stages of sobriety, because part of their brain is absolutely desperate to give in to the pressure.

[Accrual]

Wow. You guys are great. Thank you so much for the advice.

@mspym - I think using the Coronavirus & self quarantine as an explanation is a great idea (when the time comes). I will continue to mull over how exactly I can word the explanation. I have also been wrestling with admitting alcohol severely negatively impacts my mental health. I have been in some pretty dark places while hungover. Perhaps they will understand more if I "pull back the curtains".

@wenchsenior - as @Malkynn notes, people, especially younger people, react negatively towards the "I am getting healthier" explanation. Why? They are confronted with the fact that something they enjoy doing (drinking alcohol) has NO health benefits whatsoever. It forces them to examine why they continue to drink. Most folks do not want to do that. They find it uncomfortable. As sort of a defensive mechanism, they can become hostile and bullying. I know this because I have experienced it (I am young). I am 29 and my friends socialize by brewery hopping, wine tasting, etc. The whole social scene is predicated on alcohol - this is why it has been so difficult for me to stop the past few years; I go weeks without drinking, meet up with friends I haven't seen in awhile, and get BOMBED.

Day 37 for me today. Be well, guys.

[Metalcat]

Wow. You guys are great. Thank you so much for the advice.

@mspym - I think using the Coronavirus & self quarantine as an explanation is a great idea (when the time comes). I will continue to mull over how exactly I can word the explanation. I have also been wrestling with admitting alcohol severely negatively impacts my mental health. I have been in some pretty dark places while hungover. Perhaps they will understand more if I "pull back the curtains".

@wenchsenior - as @Malkynn notes, people, especially younger people, react negatively towards the "I am getting healthier" explanation. Why? They are confronted with the fact that something they enjoy doing (drinking alcohol) has NO health benefits whatsoever. It forces them to examine why they continue to drink. Most folks do not want to do that. They find it uncomfortable. As sort of a defensive mechanism, they can become hostile and bullying. I know this because I have experienced it (I am young). I am 29 and my friends socialize by brewery hopping, wine tasting, etc. The whole social scene is predicated on alcohol - this is why it has been so difficult for me to stop the past few years; I go weeks without drinking, meet up with friends I haven't seen in awhile, and get BOMBED.

Day 37 for me today. Be well, guys.

lol, trust me, middle aged parents can be just as viciously protective of their drinking habits as young people.

[fredbear]

.... I know this because I have experienced it (I am young). I am 29 and my friends socialize by brewery hopping, wine tasting, etc. The whole social scene is predicated on alcohol - this is why it has been so difficult for me to stop the past few years; I go weeks without drinking, meet up with friends I haven't seen in awhile, and get BOMBED.

Day 37 for me today. Be well, guys.

The time will come when you can go anywhere and everywhere with anyone, and no matter what they drink and do, you will be confirmed and solid in your sobriety.  And the better ones will respect that.  But at the beginning you have a lot of habits to unmake.  The AA answer is a simple one.  For as long as it's still a temptation, just don't subject yourself to it.  Don't go.  There's no positive, and a lot of danger, in putting yourself in harm's way.  It's even worth practicing in advance: "No, sorry, I've got something going on tonight, can't make it."

One of the most ruinous tricks I used to play on myself was to say, "Well, shit.  It's been X days or X months and it's been easy enough.  I've got this licked.  I can go out and drink, and be right back in control tomorrow.  I'm obviously stronger than the alcohol or the tobacco."  (Tobacco was WAY harder for me than alcohol.)   This was almost comically untrue.  It took me years to reach Step 1. 

[BikeFanatic]

I agree the first 3 months or so you practice unwinding
The old habits, go to a ballpark or a bar or whatever party and you dont drink. Then you realize that not too bad, still quite enjoyable. From my experience with two bouts of 7 months sobriety, I only found 3 months a bit of a challenge then after that. Most experiences with out alcohol were just as enjoyable.

[Metalcat]

I threw myself into high pressure drinking situations my first week, like a form of inoculation. But I'm the kind of person who would rather face the challenge immediately than have to think about the challenge.

I've also personally found that the longer I go without drinking, the less confident I feel about ever drinking again. At the beginning of this, I wasn't certain I would totally give up drinking, but the more I don't drink, the more I don't trust my brain to respond in a healthy way if I do. Granted, I'm a former neuroscientist who has studied addiction, so the neurochemical processes are a little more intuitive for me.

I think it really comes down to the individual, their needs, and their challenges. My approach has worked for me, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it for someone else.

[BikeFanatic]

That is next level behavior and some of us need more time to adjust. I would be doomed to fail if I did it your way M.

I had so many epiphanies, like wasn’t sure if I could reset and go back to alcohol? And then this chocolate addiction came out of nowhere! I feel, after study, that of course I developed an addiction or addicted brain.
But I had to learn that, I didn’t start with the premise that I was an addict.

I agree everyone has to find there own path. Some people can not drink non alcoholic beer for example, where I enjoy it very much. My wife gets triggered by the grocer aisle with alcohol, doesn’t bother me. Still can not sit under the beer taps at a bar, but can sit a few stools away and not look.

[Metalcat]

That is next level behavior and some of us need more time to adjust. I would be doomed to fail if I did it your way M.

Yeah...I definitely march to the beat of my own drum. I learned a very long time ago not generalize my own experiences.

There are a lot of basic universalities when it comes to the biochemistry of addictive substances, but how that manifests as a day to day reality for each person will really depend on so many highly variable factors, that it's tricky. That's why there are so few programs with high success rates.

It's hard to figure out what you really need when your own brain is actively lying to you.

[BikeFanatic]

hard to figure out what you really need when your own brain is actively lying to you.

This x1000