Author Topic: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!  (Read 1851463 times)

1967mama

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1700 on: May 19, 2015, 12:02:25 PM »
We got a reminder phone call today that TOMORROW the truck is coming to pick up our clothing, bedding, toys, books, dvds, small appliances and small electronics for the thrift store. Such a good kick in the pants to get me going on decluttering! I have each of the kids in their bedrooms with a garbage bag and will do mine after my morning cup of tea.

firelight

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1701 on: May 20, 2015, 10:44:11 AM »
Decluttering has crawled to a stop due to work and other commitments. But I'm trying to throw away one thing a day. With that strategy, I've cleared up our magazine rack completely. 20 items thrown that would be cluttering my home otherwise.

theadvicist

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1702 on: May 22, 2015, 02:51:32 AM »
Got rid of two eyeliners. I was still using them, but they are the pencil kind and when sharpened the wood was leaving splinters. Not a good idea near eyes, I didn't think! Will not replace them for the time being - I have another one which I will use up.

Finished making a dress for a wedding this weekend, I'm quite pleased with it. I'm mostly pleased that it means I can move onto other projects - I've got three dresses finished except for hemming but I didn't have room to do it before this one was finished. Love getting stuff out of the sewing drawer and into the wardrobe.

I've been doing the 'hang the hangers back to front' thing and realised I had a lot of stuff I wasn't wearing, so out it has gone to make room!

Squirrel away

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1703 on: May 22, 2015, 04:00:42 AM »
Got rid of two eyeliners. I was still using them, but they are the pencil kind and when sharpened the wood was leaving splinters. Not a good idea near eyes, I didn't think! Will not replace them for the time being - I have another one which I will use up.



I have exactly the same problem with mine, it's really annoying. Terrible design!

horsepoor

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1704 on: May 22, 2015, 09:04:48 AM »
I have four days off, so I'm laying out a couple challenges for myself:

  • Actually get the latest box o' crap delivered to the thrift store
  • Go through and organize file cabinets
  • Get rid of two remaining fish and decommission the aquarium
  • Hang the curtains in the basement and clean up the hardware/crap that is hanging around there
  • List at least 5 items on eBay
  • Re-work a broken horse jump that's in the back yard using stuff I have on hand, and take it out to the stable

Anatidae V

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1705 on: May 23, 2015, 08:13:27 AM »
I picked a smaller movable box for filing papers that we have to keep, and am scanning&shredding paper as I move each folder across. Great way to keep track of where I'm up to, and the smaller box should mean we don't have the option of overfilling it too much! I love my doxie scanner and giant shredder.

firelight

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1706 on: May 23, 2015, 08:33:33 PM »
This weekend I'm attacking my T-shirt collection. I have two big boxes of t-shirts, mostly ones I used to wear and ones I've gotten free at work events and meetups. 80% of them should be discards with almost all the remaining ones can be used inside home or for puttering around. But the boxes intimidate me and I'm determined to conquer them this weekend. Wish me luck!

SisterX

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1707 on: May 23, 2015, 11:54:55 PM »
Holy crap, we're moving in the next week.
I took one rather large load of give-away items to Value Village a couple of weeks ago, but of course we've got more.  Some items will go to the homeless shelter.
Have discovered that our blankets are, apparently, breeding in the closets.  It's the only explanation for why we have so frickin' many.  Packed up a bunch, am already regretting one that got packed (it was found under some other items, completely forgotten about for how many years now?) and considering opening that tote to pull it back out and add to the donate pile.  It's a nice down blanket, I'm sure someone at the homeless shelter would love it. 
Will be giving away our electric blanket to a friend, since we won't need that in the place we're moving to. 
Went through the bathroom and got rid of a whole bunch of shit, did the same in our fridge.  I found condiments that had expired in 2009!!!  Realized that they were left here by an old roommate and we just never bothered to clean them out.  *Facepalm*
Have also gone through magazines, pulled out the two recipes I still thought looked good and added them to my own recipe book.  Dumped the magazines.
Still need to go through my music, but that shouldn't take too long, since I'm going to be keeping pretty much all of it.  :)
Can't wait to start taking furniture to the transfer station.  There's actually a "free" section, so almost all of what we have will be unloaded there.  People will pick through it and whatever's not taken will eventually go to the dump.

I feel truly awful about the amount of garbage we've been creating lately.  Usually we only have to take the garbage out once every 2 weeks or so, lately it's been more like 1 1/2-2 bags per week.  And that's with us donating/freecycling as much as possible!  Blech.  Even more incentive not to be this stupidly wasteful in the future, although I'm realizing that a lot of the stuff we're getting rid of were gifts from people.  Cute set of cards from a friend which I liked, but never remembered to use.  Things like that.  Or, they were things we bought for a single use but had to buy in a large pack because there was no other option.  It's irritating.  Glad I'm moving to a place with more choices, actually, so that I can get single use items in single use quantities.

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1708 on: May 24, 2015, 11:35:09 AM »
Nice work SisterX! I'm reading an academic book on food waste that gets into the  infrastructure of proivision, specifically this issue where consumers aren't able to choose quantities, so a lot of  food gets wasted or is perceived to have spoiled before it can get used.  I think it translates to other shopping areas (giant packs of monochrome socks come to mind).
« Last Edit: May 24, 2015, 06:43:57 PM by Nancy »

PMG

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1709 on: May 24, 2015, 02:01:02 PM »
My mother, who lives several states away, is spending the next couple months working at a summer camp 40 minutes from me.  In order to help her pack lighter I told her I would supply her with toiletries. I've been an experiencing a glut of toiletries.  I cant seem to use them up as fast as I am gifted them. I don't want to throw them away, they are nice and organic and lovely... but  I'm bored and ridiculously excited to give what I've been using to Mom  and start into something new that's been sitting in my cupboard, gathering dust and taking up space!

wintersun

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1710 on: May 24, 2015, 02:36:36 PM »
I am reading the Konmari book right now.  She says that de-cluttering all at once means taking about 6 months which sounds reasonable to me.  I go in and out of feeling overwhelmed by stuff and right now I feel overwhelmed.  It is not so much the stuff but the doing things to the stuff that enervates me. It is the scanning, repairing, sewing… I think I am going to reduce the fabric extensively and be ruthless with the paper and perhaps toss a bunch of unrepaired stuff (lamps, tables, etc.)  The wear and tear on my wellbeing is getting too much.  And face it, once that stuff is repaired where is it supposed to go?  Into my almost cleared out house?  I don't think so!

Watch this space.

Cookie78

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1711 on: May 25, 2015, 10:53:42 AM »
My efforts last night to declutter were a failure. Round 2 might be harder than I expected, or maybe I just wasn't in a decluttering headspace. I found 3 baby blankets I made about 15 years ago for future babies. Never had kids, and I don't need more blankets, but they are nice and unused and hard to just donate randomly. My brothers are likely done having children. I could wait for some friends to have kids and give to them, but that might be awhile. Or I could just suck it up and donate them, along with half a dozen other small blankets I have taking up space in the closet.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1712 on: May 25, 2015, 01:52:46 PM »
Depending on the fiber, could you donate them to a maternity hospital? Or children's hospital?  Some do take blankets to send home with the baby/small child.

My efforts last night to declutter were a failure. Round 2 might be harder than I expected, or maybe I just wasn't in a decluttering headspace. I found 3 baby blankets I made about 15 years ago for future babies. Never had kids, and I don't need more blankets, but they are nice and unused and hard to just donate randomly. My brothers are likely done having children. I could wait for some friends to have kids and give to them, but that might be awhile. Or I could just suck it up and donate them, along with half a dozen other small blankets I have taking up space in the closet.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1713 on: May 25, 2015, 01:58:21 PM »
I had to put some knitting away a while ago because the pattern had disappeared.  I found it last night while I was decluttering an area.  Not only is the area decluttered, but I can get this project restarted.  And my past self was nice to my present self, I could see exactly where I had stopped (marked on the pattern) so I can start without any difficulties.  Win.

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1714 on: May 25, 2015, 02:48:43 PM »
wintersun, I hear ya! The way I see it: if I did without the unrepaired item for a dog's age, then I don't need it. It's lived its life with me. Now it can move on or be recycled into something else by someone else. Good luck!
« Last Edit: May 26, 2015, 04:46:26 AM by Nancy »

Sibley

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1715 on: May 25, 2015, 04:35:15 PM »
Visited my parents over the weekend. My sister and I dragged mom upstairs into the attic. The goal was to clean it out some.

We know what's in the attic! We know what mom won't get rid of. We also know what either my sister or I actually want.

There's various (large) items that could go away immediately, except for the fact that they're just too big for us to get them out of the house. This is annoying, but at least we know they can just go. Two large metal kitchen cabinets, 2 full size metal filing cabinets, a formal sideboard from the dining room, 2 houses (and 25 years) ago, two miscellaneous chairs.

Then there's all the stuff that mom won't get rid of. 3 sets of good dishes, at least 2 sets of crystal. Various items of furniture that have been in the attic for 20 years, some of which have been ruined by it. 15ish boxes of books that should be cut down to at most 5. A very heavy box of old dress-up clothes and halloween costumes. A large box of puzzles that no one is going to do again.

Tossed out some ancient window screens that we doubt even went to that house, and some other random crap that was in the attic.

On the bright side, we did go through a ton of old papers. They still had tax returns going back to the 1970s! In the end there was a box of paper to be shredded (literally, a box of paper), plus a bunch that was just tossed. All in all, about 300 pounds of paper cleaned out. I somehow avoided papercuts too.

Basically, my sister and I had a chance to evaluate the future pain of clearing out the house, and to rough out a plan for our parent's future care. Now to continue laying the groundwork so we're ready when the SHTF. And it will - dad is early stages of dementia, so it's just a matter of time.

tariskat

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1716 on: May 25, 2015, 08:49:24 PM »
Sibley, what a bummer :|  It's great that you have a road map now, though -- it will be that much easier in the future.

I spent some time on the corner in my office of stuff I was deliberately ignoring going through for a month or four, that was left over from the last time I had gone through a bunch of childhood stuff boxes.  Tossed some, will recycle some, and actually had a less left than I thought I did.  I use the UFMH method on stuff like that and only commit to 20 minutes, and almost got it all done! woo.

ZiziPB

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1717 on: May 26, 2015, 07:27:53 AM »
I brought another large bag of clothes, shoes and bed linens to Goodwill along with a lamp and a magazine holder.  It was around noon on Sunday.  The guy accepting the donations told me they got so much stuff that they were running out of room and were planning to stop accepting donations in the afternoon!

I guess we are not the only ones cleaning and tidying up!

I'm a red panda

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1718 on: May 26, 2015, 07:49:03 AM »
2 bags of clothes going to the consignment store today. 

I'm not sure if they will take them, as they are super picky and this isn't high brands, but if not, they just go to Goodwill and I stop trying to consign things at all.

theadvicist

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1719 on: May 26, 2015, 08:05:52 AM »
2 bags of clothes going to the consignment store today. 

I'm not sure if they will take them, as they are super picky and this isn't high brands, but if not, they just go to Goodwill and I stop trying to consign things at all.

I find consignments stores so strangely picky. Mine says "designer only", but I took some Versace jeans (from old spendy days) and she said, "Jeans don't really sell, I'm going to pass on these", and some Boden tops, which she was really pleased with and took straight away. Mail order is not designer to me... but what do I know. I had about Ł50 waiting for collection last I checked, so she obviously knows what sells and what doesn't, I guess. Good luck with your trip!

Villanelle

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1720 on: May 26, 2015, 08:56:16 AM »
Three plastic grocery bags stuff full of outgoing shirts today.  Probably 20 items.  I think I'm mostly done with shirt purging.

I'm hanging on to slightly more than I otherwise might, because my life is changing so much.  For example, I've worn one pair of shorts one time in the last 3 years, which suggests all the shorts, or certainly all but one or two, can go. However, I'm moving to a totally different climate and a somewhat different lifestyle.  So I'm having on to some stuff because I'm just not sure.  But overall, I'm pleased with my progress!

firelight

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1721 on: May 26, 2015, 02:43:00 PM »
Selling a few pairs of shoes as a lot through craigslist. Such a pain. Had someone who was interested a few weeks ago who then flaked out after a few emails. Then she emailed again last week asking about it and haggled from $50 to $30. I was so tempted to ignore her since she flaked out last time but well maybe she'll show up this time. At least she's picking it up from my place and I'm not wasting time meeting her somewhere. Next time, think I'll just stick to ebay/goodwill, I feel like there are some many flakes and ridiculous hagglers on craigslist.
+1 I've stopped selling on Craigslist except for furniture/really large items I can't take to Goodwill without help due to the LARGE number of flakes and the ridiculous bargains they ask for... I get it you want a good deal but asking it for next to nothing when its practically new is a shame.

Lian

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1722 on: May 26, 2015, 02:54:12 PM »
I brought another large bag of clothes, shoes and bed linens to Goodwill along with a lamp and a magazine holder.  It was around noon on Sunday.  The guy accepting the donations told me they got so much stuff that they were running out of room and were planning to stop accepting donations in the afternoon!

I guess we are not the only ones cleaning and tidying up!

I brought 2 carloads of stuff to Goodwill this weekend - 1 load on Saturday, the other on Sunday. There were so many people donating on Saturday, I had to park on the street to wait for a place in line!  It was nuts! I wonder if Memorial Day weekend is just a convenient time for spring cleaning and decluttering. The donation area had mountains of stuff. I added to the piles and bins and left wondering just how big is the second-hand/used goods retail sector.

AlwaysBeenASaver

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1723 on: May 26, 2015, 03:06:54 PM »
I brought another large bag of clothes, shoes and bed linens to Goodwill along with a lamp and a magazine holder.  It was around noon on Sunday.  The guy accepting the donations told me they got so much stuff that they were running out of room and were planning to stop accepting donations in the afternoon!

I guess we are not the only ones cleaning and tidying up!

I brought 2 carloads of stuff to Goodwill this weekend - 1 load on Saturday, the other on Sunday. There were so many people donating on Saturday, I had to park on the street to wait for a place in line!  It was nuts! I wonder if Memorial Day weekend is just a convenient time for spring cleaning and decluttering. The donation area had mountains of stuff. I added to the piles and bins and left wondering just how big is the second-hand/used goods retail sector.
I went to our local Goodwill this past Saturday too, and the employee taking the donations said he had expected it to be a slow weekend but instead they were swamped with donations. I live in a small town but there were 3 others donating at the same time as me.

Gumbo1978

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1724 on: May 27, 2015, 09:33:26 AM »
We have a facebook page for our section of the city (charlotte, NC) which acts kind of like facebook.  I like it better b/c the posts are tied to a facebook account and you have to meet in a public area (within a 5 mile radius).  We've started taking pictures of clutter and then selling it that way.  Made $600 in the past 2 weeks cleaning out our garage/attic.  Have really enjoyed decluttering.  Gives a similar rush to purchasing.

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1725 on: May 27, 2015, 09:42:51 AM »
Took 2 bags to the consignment shop tomorrow.  I don't know if they accepted anything. But I signed for them to just donate it if they don't, so either way, it is out of my house.  I rarely itemize this type of deduction anyway, so doesn't matter to me if they get the write off instead of me.

But if they do accept stuff, and I get some money- I know where all my bags are going in the future!

Mikhial

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1726 on: May 27, 2015, 09:53:19 AM »
I went through the kitchen yesterday. I ended up with a small pile to toss. I'm not sure if that means I'm in a decent spot with how much stuff is in the kitchen, or if I'm too attached with what we have.

Part of the problem is I know my boyfriend won't be completely down with pairing down too much. He saw the pile I set aside and half-jokingly said we can't throw anything out. For each thing he didn't want to throw out, I asked him when the last time he used that item and when the next time he was going to use it. He put up a fight, but when I asked him what he wanted to keep only a couple of items made it back. To be fair, what he put back aren't mine to throw away.

JLee

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1727 on: May 27, 2015, 11:00:20 AM »
60+ books/DVDs/random things are getting donated. $295 writeoff plus I now no longer need a DVD rack, and I also have a shelf or two free that didn't used to be. :D

CommonCents

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1728 on: May 27, 2015, 11:42:55 AM »
I went through the kitchen yesterday. I ended up with a small pile to toss. I'm not sure if that means I'm in a decent spot with how much stuff is in the kitchen, or if I'm too attached with what we have.

Part of the problem is I know my boyfriend won't be completely down with pairing down too much. He saw the pile I set aside and half-jokingly said we can't throw anything out. For each thing he didn't want to throw out, I asked him when the last time he used that item and when the next time he was going to use it. He put up a fight, but when I asked him what he wanted to keep only a couple of items made it back. To be fair, what he put back aren't mine to throw away.

Partners are tricky waters to navigate.  I generally leave his stuff alone, hoping I'm setting a good example, and then after a while when I suggest he clear out his things, he's more willing.  But he's got a complete blind spot for books - and this coming from someone who is reluctant in her own right to get rid of many.  As far as he's concerned, one should never release books back into the wild.

CommonCents

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1729 on: May 27, 2015, 01:34:22 PM »
I went through the kitchen yesterday. I ended up with a small pile to toss. I'm not sure if that means I'm in a decent spot with how much stuff is in the kitchen, or if I'm too attached with what we have.

Part of the problem is I know my boyfriend won't be completely down with pairing down too much. He saw the pile I set aside and half-jokingly said we can't throw anything out. For each thing he didn't want to throw out, I asked him when the last time he used that item and when the next time he was going to use it. He put up a fight, but when I asked him what he wanted to keep only a couple of items made it back. To be fair, what he put back aren't mine to throw away.

Partners are tricky waters to navigate.  I generally leave his stuff alone, hoping I'm setting a good example, and then after a while when I suggest he clear out his things, he's more willing.  But he's got a complete blind spot for books - and this coming from someone who is reluctant in her own right to get rid of many.  As far as he's concerned, one should never release books back into the wild.
Hahaha!  I need to have your sense of humor about my husband's book "hoarding" tendencies. 

I'm also struggling with getting our possessions down because most items aren't mine or ours.  I moved here in a car.  He moved an entire 3,000 sq ft house.  While I'm thankful for all of the things we didn't have to buy, I'm also resentful because our 1,000 sq ft house and garage are bursting at the seams.  I still have a bit more whittling to do with my clothing, but my husband has at least 4 times the amount of clothing that I have. 

Any tips for getting your partner to give up his things?

It's a tough one.  As they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

There are a variety of successful strategies, which vary based on personality:
Asking.  Spouse complies with a simple request.  We are all jealous.
Logic.  You explain to the spouse (see below for an example) of why decluttering makes sense.
Modeling.  Spouse sees the joy of decluttering and free space.  Spouse has their "own idea" to also declutter.  You never contradict spouse on this point.
Emotional.  Spouse is happy to make you happy once you explain how very important it is.  Tears may be involved.
Bargaining.  You agree to get rid of your ugly broken item if he agrees to get rid of his ugly broken item.
Bribes.  You offer favors (chores?  NSFW favors?  Get out of visiting a mother-in-law card?  Remote control privileges?) in exchange for going through and culling items.
Sneak.  Desperate, much like you might with children, you hide away unused items and gradually they "disappear" or are "lost" after a time passes with no one noticing.
Threats.  You inform your spouse it's you or the [ugly broken item].
Professional.  You call in professional help.  Optional: Blast issue on a reality tv show.

As you can tell, the list devolves as you go down it.  Let's call it the "CommonCents Hierarchy of Decluttering Your Partner"

Logic:
Pick one area (e.g. clothes).
Ask him how much he thinks would be an acceptable amount of clothes (or space to take up).  If he won't say, ask if he would agree it is reasonable that you share the closet space for example, 50/50.
Then tell him how much he has.  e.g. Did you know you have 104 t-shirts? 
Ask him whether you can set aside time on a weekend to go through them together to decide what is too old, worn, stained etc.  (Don't phrase it as "culling".)
During this time, make piles of keep, get rid, maybe.  (When going through the maybe pile for final disposition, accept he'll keep some for unreasonable sentimental reasons.)
Key to success: Asking questions, getting agreement

4alpacas

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1730 on: May 27, 2015, 01:39:23 PM »
I went through the kitchen yesterday. I ended up with a small pile to toss. I'm not sure if that means I'm in a decent spot with how much stuff is in the kitchen, or if I'm too attached with what we have.

Part of the problem is I know my boyfriend won't be completely down with pairing down too much. He saw the pile I set aside and half-jokingly said we can't throw anything out. For each thing he didn't want to throw out, I asked him when the last time he used that item and when the next time he was going to use it. He put up a fight, but when I asked him what he wanted to keep only a couple of items made it back. To be fair, what he put back aren't mine to throw away.

Partners are tricky waters to navigate.  I generally leave his stuff alone, hoping I'm setting a good example, and then after a while when I suggest he clear out his things, he's more willing.  But he's got a complete blind spot for books - and this coming from someone who is reluctant in her own right to get rid of many.  As far as he's concerned, one should never release books back into the wild.
Hahaha!  I need to have your sense of humor about my husband's book "hoarding" tendencies. 

I'm also struggling with getting our possessions down because most items aren't mine or ours.  I moved here in a car.  He moved an entire 3,000 sq ft house.  While I'm thankful for all of the things we didn't have to buy, I'm also resentful because our 1,000 sq ft house and garage are bursting at the seams.  I still have a bit more whittling to do with my clothing, but my husband has at least 4 times the amount of clothing that I have. 

Any tips for getting your partner to give up his things?

It's a tough one.  As they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

There are a variety of successful strategies, which vary based on personality:
Asking.  Spouse complies with a simple request.  We are all jealous.
Logic.  You explain to the spouse (see below for an example) of why decluttering makes sense.
Modeling.  Spouse sees the joy of decluttering and free space.  Spouse has their "own idea" to also declutter.  You never contradict spouse on this point.
Emotional.  Spouse is happy to make you happy once you explain how very important it is.  Tears may be involved.
Bargaining.  You agree to get rid of your ugly broken item if he agrees to get rid of his ugly broken item.
Bribes.  You offer favors (chores?  NSFW favors?  Get out of visiting a mother-in-law card?  Remote control privileges?) in exchange for going through and culling items.
Sneak.  Desperate, much like you might with children, you hide away unused items and gradually they "disappear" or are "lost" after a time passes with no one noticing.
Threats.  You inform your spouse it's you or the [ugly broken item].
Professional.  You call in professional help.  Optional: Blast issue on a reality tv show.

As you can tell, the list devolves as you go down it.  Let's call it the "CommonCents Hierarchy of Decluttering Your Partner"

Logic:
Pick one area (e.g. clothes).
Ask him how much he thinks would be an acceptable amount of clothes (or space to take up).  If he won't say, ask if he would agree it is reasonable that you share the closet space for example, 50/50.
Then tell him how much he has.  e.g. Did you know you have 104 t-shirts? 
Ask him whether you can set aside time on a weekend to go through them together to decide what is too old, worn, stained etc.  (Don't phrase it as "culling".)
During this time, make piles of keep, get rid, maybe.  (When going through the maybe pile for final disposition, accept he'll keep some for unreasonable sentimental reasons.)
Key to success: Asking questions, getting agreement
Thanks!  I'm going to try clothing this weekend.  I have a few things to get rid of too, so I hope it will be a productive day.  Currently our guest bedroom is full of my husband's clothes.  To be honest, my clothes are in the guest bedroom closet....because my husband has the closet in our bedroom. 
x2
Plus two large dressers in a small guest bedroom. 

CommonCents

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1731 on: May 27, 2015, 02:00:38 PM »
I went through the kitchen yesterday. I ended up with a small pile to toss. I'm not sure if that means I'm in a decent spot with how much stuff is in the kitchen, or if I'm too attached with what we have.

Part of the problem is I know my boyfriend won't be completely down with pairing down too much. He saw the pile I set aside and half-jokingly said we can't throw anything out. For each thing he didn't want to throw out, I asked him when the last time he used that item and when the next time he was going to use it. He put up a fight, but when I asked him what he wanted to keep only a couple of items made it back. To be fair, what he put back aren't mine to throw away.

Partners are tricky waters to navigate.  I generally leave his stuff alone, hoping I'm setting a good example, and then after a while when I suggest he clear out his things, he's more willing.  But he's got a complete blind spot for books - and this coming from someone who is reluctant in her own right to get rid of many.  As far as he's concerned, one should never release books back into the wild.
Hahaha!  I need to have your sense of humor about my husband's book "hoarding" tendencies. 

I'm also struggling with getting our possessions down because most items aren't mine or ours.  I moved here in a car.  He moved an entire 3,000 sq ft house.  While I'm thankful for all of the things we didn't have to buy, I'm also resentful because our 1,000 sq ft house and garage are bursting at the seams.  I still have a bit more whittling to do with my clothing, but my husband has at least 4 times the amount of clothing that I have. 

Any tips for getting your partner to give up his things?

It's a tough one.  As they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

There are a variety of successful strategies, which vary based on personality:
Asking.  Spouse complies with a simple request.  We are all jealous.
Logic.  You explain to the spouse (see below for an example) of why decluttering makes sense.
Modeling.  Spouse sees the joy of decluttering and free space.  Spouse has their "own idea" to also declutter.  You never contradict spouse on this point.
Emotional.  Spouse is happy to make you happy once you explain how very important it is.  Tears may be involved.
Bargaining.  You agree to get rid of your ugly broken item if he agrees to get rid of his ugly broken item.
Bribes.  You offer favors (chores?  NSFW favors?  Get out of visiting a mother-in-law card?  Remote control privileges?) in exchange for going through and culling items.
Sneak.  Desperate, much like you might with children, you hide away unused items and gradually they "disappear" or are "lost" after a time passes with no one noticing.
Threats.  You inform your spouse it's you or the [ugly broken item].
Professional.  You call in professional help.  Optional: Blast issue on a reality tv show.

As you can tell, the list devolves as you go down it.  Let's call it the "CommonCents Hierarchy of Decluttering Your Partner"

Logic:
Pick one area (e.g. clothes).
Ask him how much he thinks would be an acceptable amount of clothes (or space to take up).  If he won't say, ask if he would agree it is reasonable that you share the closet space for example, 50/50.
Then tell him how much he has.  e.g. Did you know you have 104 t-shirts? 
Ask him whether you can set aside time on a weekend to go through them together to decide what is too old, worn, stained etc.  (Don't phrase it as "culling".)
During this time, make piles of keep, get rid, maybe.  (When going through the maybe pile for final disposition, accept he'll keep some for unreasonable sentimental reasons.)
Key to success: Asking questions, getting agreement
Thanks!  I'm going to try clothing this weekend.  I have a few things to get rid of too, so I hope it will be a productive day.  Currently our guest bedroom is full of my husband's clothes.  To be honest, my clothes are in the guest bedroom closet....because my husband has the closet in our bedroom. 
x2
Plus two large dressers in a small guest bedroom.

Oh, I almost forgot!  It worked really well when I did this with a friend (who wanted to declutter, but had a tough time doing it), and I asked her how many of X item she thought reasonable to keep.  For example, how many jackets are reasonable.  We then went through them and I pointed out she had told me that 15 were reasonable (I can't remember the exact number but it was around here or higher!), and yet there were 18 on the keep pile and another 10 on the maybe pile - so maybe she could keep this in mind while going through the maybe pile...  That actually let her keep on 2 of the maybes, which we both considered success.  The key in this is that the other person is setting the limits, not you.  Psychologically, they are more keen to stick to them because they've set them.  (And less apt to get mad at you for being controlling!)

I'm a red panda

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1732 on: May 27, 2015, 02:02:53 PM »
I'm pretty sure my husband sometimes just gets rid of things for me.  And then either pretends he doesn't know where it went, or begs forgiveness if I notice something is gone (sometimes years later...)

4alpacas

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1733 on: May 27, 2015, 04:03:26 PM »
I'm pretty sure my husband sometimes just gets rid of things for me.  And then either pretends he doesn't know where it went, or begs forgiveness if I notice something is gone (sometimes years later...)
Haha!  I'm not comfortable with getting rid of my husband's things, but it is tempting. 

CommonCents, I think the number thing will work out.  Logic rules his thinking process, so I think we can be rational about the process.  I hope. 

If the closet (+guest bedroom) clean-up goes well, the garage will be next.  My husband thinks everything will fit if we buy more organizational tools (i.e. pegboard, storage boxes, etc.).

FunkyStickman

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1734 on: May 28, 2015, 06:01:32 AM »
Have been extremely busy, but we culled another garbage bag of clothes from the kids. Also a few pairs of pants from me. Slowly getting there... I haven't even tackled my closet yet. That needs to happen.

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1735 on: May 28, 2015, 06:42:09 AM »
I took some books I'm never going to open again back to my department. They're books I had for coursework, so I figured I can leave them in the grad student office and perhaps a future grad student can use them for a class or project. Better that than dumping quality editions off at the thrift store... plus, I purge 10-15 books, easy! (Books continue to be the single most clutter-y thing in our home, which... well, there are worse things).

(I also resisted the urge to buy a new book for an upcoming trip, and thus adding to the clutter. I'm taking a hard copy of one I already own that I haven't read, and DLed a new library book to my Kindle.)

I'm also taking a pair of boots that refuse to get gone out of town with me to give to my sister in law (or her equally slim mom)! Get them out of the apartment!

theadvicist

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1736 on: May 28, 2015, 07:59:25 AM »

Any tips for getting your partner to give up his things?

Great stuff from CommonCents. The other thing I'd add that I've had success with is to ask which ones he wants to keep, rather than which he wants to get rid of. This is an easier proposition, and can also help them see they don't actually value much of it. 

For us, it went like this:

  • Having watched me (silently) declutter for about 5 months DH suddenly says, "I think I'll get rid of some t-shirts"
  • He lays them all out on the bed.
  • I offer a prompt: 'Why don't you pick out the ones you love and put them back in the drawer to start'
  • He picks out maybe 4 (out of 20), puts them away
  • He looks at the pile and realises, hey, I obviously don't like these much...
  • He puts a few more away, and gives me the rest to get rid of.


In my opinion the success, as many others have mentioned, was down to modelling. I tried nagging - not lots, but occassional mentions of 'Why don't you get rid of some t-shirts, and then you're drawer might close' for a few years, it acheived nothing.

In January I resolved to shut up and get my own house in order. He was amazed at how much I got rid of... Worried I wouldn't have anything to wear, and when I said, "But I wasn't wearing any of it anyway" just conversationally, a lightbulb seemed to go off.

We've now had lots of conversations about how we've realised that we didn't have anywhere to put anything because all of our 'storage' spaces (dressers, shelves etc) were neatly storing... things we didn't use.

He's now pretty much totally on board with decluttering, and has since done other areas, though I still wouldn't touch anything of his without checking with him, and I try not to preach.

Whereas before I'd say, "Why don't you get rid of this sock, it's full of holes" (in a judgemental and exasperated tone), now we are on a similar page, I keep all holey socks when I do laundry and say (factually, and without intonation, just as a simple question), "These socks are holey. Is it alright with you if I get rid of them?" and so far, touchwood, he has agreed every time.

The more you both get rid of, the more you realise your life becomes better, not worse, and the easier it is to let go of other stuff. Good luck.

I'm a red panda

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1737 on: May 28, 2015, 08:11:04 AM »
Well, of 28 items I dropped off, the consignment store took 8.
I was surprised they didn't take any of the Lands End polos. They were in great condition.  They also didn't take either of the two Banana Republic shirts, which were in season and good condition.

But my old tennis shoes got priced at $20 (they are Nikes, but that is crazy).

If things sell, I'm hoping I will take home between $5 and $15... 


margarita

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1738 on: May 28, 2015, 09:29:08 AM »
Well, of 28 items I dropped off, the consignment store took 8.
I was surprised they didn't take any of the Lands End polos. They were in great condition.  They also didn't take either of the two Banana Republic shirts, which were in season and good condition.

But my old tennis shoes got priced at $20 (they are Nikes, but that is crazy).

If things sell, I'm hoping I will take home between $5 and $15...

Recently I took clothes to a consignment shop - the owner told me button down shirts (ladies) are not a good seller.  She took my two almost new banana republic button down shirts but warned me they probably will not sell.  Sure enough at the end they did not sell (but I did pick up a cheque for $92.50 for the other items!). 

firelight

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1739 on: May 28, 2015, 10:03:42 AM »
Great progress, everyone! I'm still following the throw/donate one thing a day (since life is super busy and I don't want to stop the decluttering) and have cleaned up our magazine rack, our disposable containers and some extra furniture. Win! I'm now done with the low hanging ones and now have to make time to start looking deeper.

Does anyone feel that the house is still full of stuff even after getting rid of things? How do you keep yourself motivated?

Sibley

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1740 on: May 28, 2015, 10:09:52 AM »
Regarding helping others declutter...

Ask them which they would prefer. That they go through and do it.

Or that they force their surviving loved ones to have to go through a whole bunch of stuff that doesn't matter in order to get to the things that do matter, while under incredible emotional stress.

Because either way, the stuff is gonna go.

4alpacas

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1741 on: May 28, 2015, 10:24:37 AM »

Any tips for getting your partner to give up his things?

Great stuff from CommonCents. The other thing I'd add that I've had success with is to ask which ones he wants to keep, rather than which he wants to get rid of. This is an easier proposition, and can also help them see they don't actually value much of it. 

For us, it went like this:

  • Having watched me (silently) declutter for about 5 months DH suddenly says, "I think I'll get rid of some t-shirts"
  • He lays them all out on the bed.
  • I offer a prompt: 'Why don't you pick out the ones you love and put them back in the drawer to start'
  • He picks out maybe 4 (out of 20), puts them away
  • He looks at the pile and realises, hey, I obviously don't like these much...
  • He puts a few more away, and gives me the rest to get rid of.


In my opinion the success, as many others have mentioned, was down to modelling. I tried nagging - not lots, but occassional mentions of 'Why don't you get rid of some t-shirts, and then you're drawer might close' for a few years, it acheived nothing.

In January I resolved to shut up and get my own house in order. He was amazed at how much I got rid of... Worried I wouldn't have anything to wear, and when I said, "But I wasn't wearing any of it anyway" just conversationally, a lightbulb seemed to go off.

We've now had lots of conversations about how we've realised that we didn't have anywhere to put anything because all of our 'storage' spaces (dressers, shelves etc) were neatly storing... things we didn't use.

He's now pretty much totally on board with decluttering, and has since done other areas, though I still wouldn't touch anything of his without checking with him, and I try not to preach.

Whereas before I'd say, "Why don't you get rid of this sock, it's full of holes" (in a judgemental and exasperated tone), now we are on a similar page, I keep all holey socks when I do laundry and say (factually, and without intonation, just as a simple question), "These socks are holey. Is it alright with you if I get rid of them?" and so far, touchwood, he has agreed every time.

The more you both get rid of, the more you realise your life becomes better, not worse, and the easier it is to let go of other stuff. Good luck.
Thank you for all of the advice!  I've just started reading Marie Kondo's book (http://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-Organizing-ebook/dp/B00KK0PICK/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1432830113).  After reading the first chapter, I realize that I'm going about this process in the completely wrong way.  My husband agreed to read 1 chapter of the book, and we will both sort through our clothes on Saturday.  I'm already planning a trip to Goodwill!  I'm very excited! 


I'm a red panda

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1742 on: May 28, 2015, 10:41:26 AM »
Well, of 28 items I dropped off, the consignment store took 8.
I was surprised they didn't take any of the Lands End polos. They were in great condition.  They also didn't take either of the two Banana Republic shirts, which were in season and good condition.

But my old tennis shoes got priced at $20 (they are Nikes, but that is crazy).

If things sell, I'm hoping I will take home between $5 and $15...

Recently I took clothes to a consignment shop - the owner told me button down shirts (ladies) are not a good seller.  She took my two almost new banana republic button down shirts but warned me they probably will not sell.  Sure enough at the end they did not sell (but I did pick up a cheque for $92.50 for the other items!).

They weren't button down though. They were summer tank tops with crocheted lace necklines.

No biggie. I told them to just donate whatever they weren't selling. The important thing is it is out of the house.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2015, 10:45:22 AM by iowajes »

LiveLean

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1743 on: May 28, 2015, 11:22:17 AM »
Can't believe I found an actual VCR still in our house this morning in an armoire (that itself needs to go).

Tossed the VCR on the pile of crap I had going to electronics recycling.

AlwaysBeenASaver

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1744 on: May 28, 2015, 11:31:29 AM »
Can't believe I found an actual VCR still in our house this morning in an armoire (that itself needs to go).

Tossed the VCR on the pile of crap I had going to electronics recycling.
We have one too, it's been on the floor of our closet for several years! SO doesn't want to get rid of it until we make a list of our VHS tapes so we can, some day, replace the ones we like with DVDs. I hope we get time to do this soon!

horsepoor

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1745 on: May 28, 2015, 12:33:26 PM »
I have four days off, so I'm laying out a couple challenges for myself:

  • Actually get the latest box o' crap delivered to the thrift store
  • Go through and organize file cabinets
  • Get rid of two remaining fish and decommission the aquarium
  • Hang the curtains in the basement and clean up the hardware/crap that is hanging around there
  • List at least 5 items on eBay
  • Re-work a broken horse jump that's in the back yard using stuff I have on hand, and take it out to the stable

Dang, I haven't gotten to any of these.  The weather has been great, so I've been gardening and riding instead.  I was ready to load the boxes into the car and take them to the  Goodwill, but I realized that I am missing my gold necklace, so now I need to go through the boxes with a fine toothed comb to make sure I don't accidentally donate actual diamonds.  OTOH, I had an unexpected day at home today due to a last minute change of plans at work, so I've been decluttering outdoors.  So far I have the truck loaded up with old broken windows I had planned to make into cold frames, some materials that were too weathered to use for anything, a broken screen door and some nasty old Adirondack chairs that aren't worth scraping and re-painting.  I've also got an old A/C unit, 6 patio chairs and two plant pots out at the curb with "free" signs on them, and burned up a pile of yard waste that has been visual clutter in my line of sight from the kitchen window since last fall.

starbuck

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1746 on: May 28, 2015, 01:53:29 PM »
We have one too, it's been on the floor of our closet for several years! SO doesn't want to get rid of it until we make a list of our VHS tapes so we can, some day, replace the ones we like with DVDs. I hope we get time to do this soon!

What about taking a picture (or several if necessary) of the VHS tapes? Then you'd have a record of what you used to own. You could still figure out what you want to replace, but don't have to keep the pile of stuff around to do it. Win, win?

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1747 on: May 28, 2015, 02:47:51 PM »
Tomorrow I start tackling cocktail and evening gowns.  This one will be hard for me.  I do wear these things, anywhere from 2-5 times a year, and I'm likely to start wearing them a bit more often.  Also, my size varies so I have a range of sizes (normal size and up and down one). 

I love these.  They are so beautiful.  And I do wear them.  And I hate wearing the same dress to more than every couple of years to these events.  Not entirely rational, but that's where I'm coming from as I tackle this.

This one will be a real struggle.  I probably have 25 or more.  Uggh.  I'm trying to decide what is reasonable.   This will be my first big challenge I think. 

1967mama

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1748 on: May 28, 2015, 03:09:39 PM »
Ugh! I have a bunch of fancy party dresses too!

Practical Magic

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Re: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter!
« Reply #1749 on: May 28, 2015, 05:05:27 PM »
Just wanted to give a general Thank You, fellow MMM declutterers! Reading what you're all up to is keeping me going when I hit a slump. eBay sales have slowed but I'm still shipping a few items a week. I gave up on some and just donated them. It looks like my rental house sale is going through, so I'll soon be free of that big burden (though there are still others, one less is a good thing!). And I just lowered the price on my collectible car for sale on CL.  I agree about the lowballers and scammers.  Geez, because I have a vintage Mercedes for sale, I'm now being targeted not only by foreign scammers, but by local massage practitioners!! Happy ending anyone? Sure, just buy my car, lady. That will give me the happy ending I'm looking for. ~They disappear quickly when they find out I'm a straight female. Lol
« Last Edit: May 28, 2015, 05:08:11 PM by Practical Magic »

 

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