As far as calories in vs out and going hard vs not and weight loss - it really is going to depend a LOT on individual genetics, and age, and sex. Two people can do identical workouts and eating and will not respond the same way. Plus, individual response changes with age.
A lot of people train hard and don't lose weight, and it can be for any number of reasons (eating more, sleeping less, more stress, genetics). In fact, if you do some research and talk to trainers - a question that comes up a LOT is "how can I gain muscle and lose fat at the same time?"
The answer that they mostly all give (because: look at what the professionals do) is that: you can't. In order to get muscle gain, you need to GAIN. Pretty much all professionals who compete first go through a GAINING phase (eat more, gain weight, gain muscle), and then go through a CUTTING phase (cut out calories and carbs and drop fat).
Likewise, one of my (former) trainers pointed out that it's super hard to train for more than one thing at once. If you are training for a half marathon and trying to get faster, you aren't likely going to be able to maintain your crossfit regimen.
The question is, what are you training for? I can drop weight fairly well (5 lbs anyway, but no more than that) when I am training for uphill half marathons. Regular half marathons, not so much. If I want to drop weight, I have to focus on dropping weight. If I want to train, I have to focus on training. The two do not coincide for me, because otherwise I need fuel.