Continued: Getting rid of stuff / Clearing out clutter! PART 2

[Fresh Bread]

There's just so much stuff in the world that really only the very best stuff is going to get bought secondhand. It's just so cheap to buy new, the average person isn't going to even bother checking the secondhand market. The obviously creates a vicious cycle of more cheap tat being bought and not being able to be passed on. 

With my stuff, if it's "as new" then I'll try and sell it or take it to a charity shop. Everything else, I'll try listing on freebie groups just to see but if there is no interest after a while then I have permission to dump it or recycle it. I list every random thing because you just never know. e.g. I've got some flip top kombucha bottles ready to list (for free) because people are often looking for those.

What is important is limiting the stuff that comes in and buying the best quality. Then you have far fewer decisions and chores to do when something needs to leave.

Obviously that doesn't work when you inherit a bunch of someone else's stuff but I find it much easier to be ruthless with other people's stuff. If it's even the slightest bit dirty, scratched up, musty etc then it's in the rubbish, I'm not cleaning it, and if I'm going through someone else's stuff, chances are it's a borderline hoarding situation and there isn't the space to store stuff that needs mending etc.

[happy]

What is important is limiting the stuff that comes in and buying the best quality.

100% agree. Limiting the stuff that comes in is critical. Buying good quality is helpful but doesn't always work out. That mixing bowl was expensive and was a  good quality brand...it was about 35 years old and crazed maybe 20 years ago. Probably I should have tossed it 19 years ago! The top was mostly cotton and not cheap, but I didn't realise the elastane component was going to be so integral to its retaining shape.

[Zamboni]

Dog walk with Ofpym at lunchtime with the side-benefit of 3 books put into a street library and good containers and food we will not eat before we leave (peanut butter, mirin, herbal teas, miso) put into the local food pantry.

Ah, I should take the one book that keeps going in and out of the donate pile to the street library! Good idea!

Right now I'm doing the "giant photo purge" but I need to do a food pantry run as well. For the photo purge I'm trying to get 5 boxes of hard copies down to one. This is causing a lot of decision fatigue, so I've needed many breaks. Digitizing it all just makes no sense, I need to cull dramatically first.

Photos and books are definitely the hardest things for me to throw away. Making it worse, literally every time I see my Mom she verbally reinforces her psychopathy about books and photos as being precious items that must be preserved. It amps my own anxiety about it back up.

[mspym]

@Zamboni I used to be a book hoarder but over time became more pragmatic about it. RSI in my hands, wrists and shoulders sure helped me not want to hold up a book’s weight unless it was worth it. Some books I am content if I have them on ebook or at the library, a special few I want a physical copy. For some where I thought “maybe that’s worth something”, I looked them up and eh I could get a replacement for <$5 which made it easier to let them go.

Weird thing that helped me - adding books to a library that has had static content for a while and seeing the books I donated get taken quickly. Made me think someone *did* want my books.

Re photos, they are the hardest. Start with the duplicates and out of focus ones that should never made it home from the developer. I am going through years of digital photos at the moment and it is tedious.

[happy]

I'm another reformed book hoarder. My mother taught me that one never ever got rid of books. And I bought into the fantasy of being a bookish nerd. But with the passing of time I realised I almost never re-read books, and had a room full. I have house dust mite allergy and the books collected dust. Since dusting them was very unpleasant  I put it off and  they collected more dust. As my kids grew I culled some of my books to make room for their books and despite mother's voice, nothing terrible happened. So I culled some more. I spend more time on the internet reading that reading books, so I've gradually whittled it down to less than bookshelf.

[RetiredAt63]

Re books, most of my fiction is really old stuff that is no longer in libraries - if I want to reread it I have to own it.  This also means that when I look at them on amazon.ca, they are surprisingly expensive, because no one else kept them either.*  But as I look at my books, I am starting to ask myself which ones I will read again?  Which ones can go?  Every book has been read at least twice over the years.

Totally different rules apply to non-fiction.  Reference materials stay forever**, other stuff still has to pass the will I ever read this again test.


*Several years ago, when my basement flooded and some books got very wet, the insurance was paying replacement cost.  A few books that I had bought cheap secondhand were now still second hand, but super expensive.  That was very weird.

** Unless I know I will never need them again - all the dog training books can go the next time one of my groups has a book sale. 

[Zamboni]

^Yeah, that is exactly some of my Mom's psychopathy about books. "You didn't give XYZ book away, right? Because now it is out of print." This gets mentioned about various books she has foisted on me over the years because it was the only way she could bear to part with any.

Okay, true, books go out of print. But in our world of mass production, if I want to re-buy a specific out of print book, I have always been able to find a copy to buy. I did this with a few of my favorite books from childhood that we had gotten from the children's library. I didn't mind paying what seemed like "a lot" of money because I really wanted to read those few specific books to my children. Hilariously, with 2 notable exceptions, the books my Mom hoarded "for" me all these years were not actually the ones I wanted. She has exactly one other book that I may want some day.

So I'm not holding onto anything making an assumption that my children want it unless they specifically say "I want that." When I've asked, they haven't wanted anything I've asked about. They both have little piles of precious stuff from their childhoods which I absolutely would have tossed if it was up to me because I wouldn't have realized it had meaning for them. So, it really is true that each person has to do their own decluttering, and that it is against the rules to declutter by giving hand-me-downs to family unless you are CERTAIN that the person really wants it and isn't just accepting it to be polite.

My Mom downsized her home and she has mailed me many boxes of her hoard without even bothering to ask me about it first. This is totally not cool behavior. I used to let it become part of my clutter out of a sense of weird guilt. I started to dread seeing a new unexpected box on my porch. Towards the end of her doing this I just started taking her junk straight out to the trash or donation center depending upon what it was. She has stopped mailing unannounced packages of clutter, most likely because her financial situation combines with the higher prices for shipping to make it very impractical at this point.

Perhaps she also has had to find and use most of the $20 bills she had scattered between pages of books all through her home. She thinks she has been very clever in hiding her money in books, by the way. Can't make this stuff up.

[happy]

Yikes! @Zamboni , mailing you boxes of clutter is No Fair! My mother hidl her jewellery in the pockets of obscure pieces of clothing, one item per piece of clothing, carefully wrapped up in a tissue. Going through all the crumpled issues in every pocket of both hers and my father's clothing after they had died was tedious. No-one in the family particularly wanted her jewellery but we somehow felt obligated to check nevertheless.

[former player]

For ebook copies of out of print and out of copyright books Faded Page is amazing -

https://www.fadedpage.com/

[Raenia]

If you have out of print books that you're decluttering, I highly recommend donating them to Open Library (part of the Internet Archive). I always check to see if they have something yet, before donating books elsewhere. You'll have to pay shipping, but in exchange you'll be contributing to maintaining a record of out of print books that might otherwise be lost - plus if you ever do want to re-read it, it'll be available.

[RetiredAt63]

This turned into an excellent discussion!

Raenia, that is a great idea. 

Former Player, thanks for the link.

Zamboni, that is not nice behaviour on your Mom's part.  (You do realize that from a Canadian, not nice is a really negative statement, eh?).  When I was doing my major downsizing for my move, I told DD that I would give her first offer on anything I thought she might want, and she was totally free to say "no".  My feelings would not be hurt, I just needed to get my household contents down to a reasonable amount for the apartment. I would take pictures, and send them to her, she would circle what she wanted and send them back to me - some pictures had everything circled, some had nothing circled.  It worked beautifully, she got what she wanted but nothing extra.  I knew I wasn't giving away something she wanted, and everything left the house either to her or as donations.   


Taking about stuff, I have already told DD that all my crafting stuff should be either sold or donated to my Guild.   This has come up on Ravelry, someone had the great idea of making a spreadsheet of their equipment, approximate resale value, and all the bits and pieces that go with each big piece of equipment.  That is a great idea, my Artisat came with everything but the handle for the warping beam - I'm sure it got junked as the house was being cleaned out.  Apparently that handle is the most common item to be missing for second hand looms from estates, because the person doing the selling has no idea it goes with the loom.  And yes, the handle is taken off the loom while weaving, it would be really in the way.

[YellowCat]

I just loaded the car trunk full (!) of toys to take to the local thrift store in the morning :) I swear they’re just multiplying in the corners of the e house when we’re not looking…

[fuzzy math]

I went to a neighbor's garage sale and ended up taking a few things from a free pile. Got a 4 ft wobbly christmas tree that will go on my porch. Took 2 thin crummy hot mitts that I regretted almost instantly. Took them to the goodwill along with some old steak knives, a couple clothing items and a (formerly free to us) single cup coffee maker. Trying to deal with my mistakes in a more timely fashion now. If only I can prevent future impulses to bring garbage into the home.

[oneday]

I went to a neighbor's garage sale and ended up taking a few things from a free pile. Got a 4 ft wobbly christmas tree that will go on my porch. Took 2 thin crummy hot mitts that I regretted almost instantly. Took them to the goodwill along with some old steak knives, a couple clothing items and a (formerly free to us) single cup coffee maker. Trying to deal with my mistakes in a more timely fashion now. If only I can prevent future impulses to bring garbage into the home.

IME, you are doing exactly what you need to do in order to "prevent future impulses". Although in my case, I still get the impulses, but it is easier not to give in to them, when thinking about all the work it will take to get rid of them later.

[slackmax]

Microdecluttering. 

Selected 5 of my flea market vinyl records that haven't sold for years, and donated them, along with some non-selling CDs. 

[mspym]

More micro decluttering- we used up the brown rice so I cleaned the good ant-proof container it was in and we took it to the community pantry along with another large storage container, a packet of garam masala we will not get to in three weeks and a sample of bodywash (I use goat-soap).

[Poundwise]

I have complained here in the past about having nowhere to sell or give away old computer technical manuals from w*rk days.   

Well, it seems there is suddenly a market for 'retro' and 'vintage' computers, computer parts, and even manuals! All things come to he who waits?

I just sold a box of floppy disks from 1980's or 1990's Windows 3.0 Graphical Environment for $20 to a local person. He wanted me to throw in some old technical manuals, which I happily did.

I don't know when this 'market' popped up. I have been scouring the internet for years trying to sell this stuff, and suddenly I find these vintage groups out there who are looking for this stuff to buy! And they've been around for years, apparently.   

That is INDEED a score!  Kind of the moment that every hoarder (like me) dreams of.

[Poundwise]

I was looking for something else and ended up cleaning out our bathroom cabinets.  Threw out about half of the cruft, and found a lot of old shampoos, etc. which I posted on Craigslist. Somebody is coming to pick them up tomorrow!

[Josiecat22222]

Gave away 3 of DS's shirts via BNG

Gave away a set of unneeded floor mats for our Jeep on BNG

threw away a leaking dressing/condiment container for packing in my lunch box.  Tried to rehab it, put it in a baggie, etc but it was time to admit defeat.

finished a book so it is going to little free library

reached out to a lady on BNG who recently requested a weighted blanket but it was gifted elsewhere.....I have one that is not being used and it's time to move it on

gave away two textbooks to DS's teammate for school next year

It feels like more has been leaving, but I can't name it all. 

[midweststache]

Prepping for a trip to see family in a few days, so we're in the weird "eat everything perishable in the house" mode. It's a fun time to see what weirdo things we can come up with, but a pain to make everyone something different AND navigate the "I want that too!" complaint from the boys. (I'm waiting for tonight's battle - we only have ONE serving of leftover pasta for someone to eat! The horror!)

We're also taking a bag of hand-me-downs to the cousins as part of this trip, so we'll finally get that bag out of the hall closet.

Made the kiddos go through all their various art papers while we were in clean up mode. The Bluey episode "The Dump" is helpful when the kids are horrified that I'm throwing away a paper they drew on for two seconds and then disregarded for a week because the moment I take it away they're like "NO THAT'S MY LIFE'S WORK! MY MAGNUM OPUS! WOULD YOU THROW AWAY BEETHOVEN'S 9TH?" (Or the 6 y/o version of that.) So we've got a pile of kids are headed for the recycling bin to become paper for other kids' future art! (Thanks Bluey!)

[mspym]

SMALL
- Halved the contents of our spice drawer after realising I have limited remaining meals available to use things up here and I am opting for the easiest options to lower my stress.
- Used the last of the flour to make a no-knead bread dough, which made a great loaf for last night's dinner and the remainder of the dough is hanging out in the fridge for future baking.
- I'm going to make macaroons to use up sugar and coconut - realised I had donated the unopened vanilla essence yesterday! - and I'll flavour them with mixed spice instead.
BIG
- Two bookshelves are out on the street for people to grab.
- This weekend we're both moving E to his mum's AND packing up a whole lot of stuff for the boys future flats, which will really empty the place out. [This also gives us a room to start putting things in until the movers arrive]

[Fresh Bread]

Well done @mspym

I said upthread that I had emptied an NFP storage unit into my house. I booked a bulky rubbish collection for just over a week's time to give myself a push to sort through it. Recently I sold my vehicle so now I have floorspace in the garage. I went through three boxes of random stuff and made a pile of recycling and pile of bits to squeeze into the NFP premises. I also listed a bunch of stuff for free, hopefully someone wants it. There's actually not much rubbish once you take out the e-waste and the paper.

[former player]

I'm putting together a box of donations for the bric a brac stall at the Church Fete in a week's time.  It's the first fete since the pandemic so there's quite a lot of bits and pieces to go.  The rooms that only have exactly what I want in them are so much nicer to live in.

[slackmax]

My sister and I are helping our mom move into assisted living. One of the many chores involved is decluttering her current apartment.

I moved some of her nice furniture into my already cluttered living room. I find it interesting that my living room does not look more cluttered to me. Still just plain cluttered. 

Hope to sell some of it, not all of it. 

[LeftA]

I’m back from an extended vacation, and thus have not posted for a little while. However, while I was away one of my siblings came to my house and finally purged much of the boxes of stuff they had been storing in my house! It was approximately 20 medium sized boxes!!! I had been hounding said sibling for years, so I’m thrilled that it is gone! There is still a bit more, but they promised to look through it in the future.

Now back to purging my own stuff…I am back with a renewed sense of purpose to continue the serious purging I had started.

[EchoStache]

Almost done purging the basement.  Listed almost everything on FB marketplace for the last couple months that was left in my basement.  Completely loaded up the trunk and back seat of my car today and made a trip to Goodwill, and took a few items out to the curb with a free sign.

Now just some general straightening and organizing left to do but no longer have much, if any, extra "stuff" in the house.

The house and garage are all lean mean fighting machines.  Everything I have now passes the test of "if I didn't currently have this item, would I go out and buy it now", and the answer to that question is yes for basically everything we own.  I have found that is a great question to use when deciding what to keep and what to purge.

[mspym]

Today we move E to his mum’s so while things are a little chaotic by the end of the day the house will be significantly emptier.

Writing this out made me remember the two cast iron pans he is claiming so that’s even better.

[LeftA]

Wow, @EchoStache , that’s amazing? How long did it take you to get to this point?

Yesterday, I did a massive, impromptu purge of all my shirts and dresses in my closet. Also, got rid of a couple of blazers. I got rid of at least 30 pieces of clothing. It feels good to have some space between my clothes now!

[Loretta]

I successfully dropped off 2 trash bags full of clothes and housewares to my favorite charity thrift shop. 

I continue using up toiletries with my bathroom plumbing project complete. 

[EchoStache]

Wow, @EchoStache , that’s amazing? How long did it take you to get to this point?

Yesterday, I did a massive, impromptu purge of all my shirts and dresses in my closet. Also, got rid of a couple of blazers. I got rid of at least 30 pieces of clothing. It feels good to have some space between my clothes now!

Sadly, it was a *tremendous* amount of work that took place over several months preceding a move, then another year after the move.  Before moving, we spent a day every weekend for months purging, selling on FB, and taking car loads to Goodwill.

This GREATLY reduced the amount of stuff we had to move.  We were very intentional in decorating our new home after the move.  Despite all the purging, we were still left with a surprisingly significant amount of stuff in the basement.  I've been selling on FB for a couple months after taking a break, and hauled away a full carload this weekend which basically got rid of what was left.

I imagine there is probably some fine tuning left but we are very close to having no extra, unwanted, unused stuff.

[LeftA]

@EchoStache , I’m not surprised at how much work it was! At least you had a lot less to move. This is a big motivator for me. I don’t plan on moving any time soon, but I also don’t want to be stuck here at any point, because of stuff! I’ve been working on purging for several months and don’t think I’ll be where you are for many more months to go. Congratulations for getting there!!

[Fresh Bread]

I listed a bunch of stuff from the NFP storage for free and it's flying away, yay! I'll have my garage back soon. Just some folding chairs to clean and sell and a few other bits.

There was so much stuff that was dumped in a storage unit instead of dealing with it or moving it on swiftly to someone else who could use it. Some stuff could have been sold for $ if it hadn't been left to get grubby or if instructions had been recorded. I'm not going to go though every single item asking previous volunteers what it is and does it work.

[fuzzy math]

Offered a few men's workout shirts to DS. Picked out a few women's workout shirts I don't like (tech fabric makes me feel like my skin can't breathe), a sweatshirt I've had for prob 10 years, a recently found kids sz 8 t shirt (youngest kid wears a kids 16) and they're all in a donate bag. Mentioned to DH that one of his shirts is looking pretty rough and he took it off on the spot and put it in the trash. Small steps!

[LaineyAZ]

An idea that may work for others:  our local senior center has a "Free Table."  Anyone can leave new or gently used items.
I'm donating some new toothbrushes and floss (freebies from my dentist), some never-used water bottles, a decorative birdhouse, a new small backpack, dry erase markers, decorative ribbons, a holiday-themed tray, night light, etc.  I think they'll be popular and snatched up right away.

Am also donating a wooden hope chest to the thrift store.  It's not being used and is just taking up floor space in an already small room.

[Loretta]

I just listed 2 fairly bulky items on Marketplace. 

[SunnyDays]

Out the door - some glass jars, cat toys, a stationery box and a couple of pictures.  Every bit counts, right?

[mspym]

Today we are taking the 2x4 bookshelf, some sewing gear and the last of our plants to my friend’s house. Hopefully we are also dropping off beds at the council recycling. Even more things ready to go to the community pantry. I’ve booked council clean-up for the Monday after we fly out for the two-dog’s worth couch and anything else that we can’t shed any other way.

[RetiredAt63]

After 4 moves I keep thinking I've thrown out everything that needs throwing out.  Nope.

I just threw out my old ironing board.  I had to really force it to open, and I stopped part way, because if it was that hard to open I figured I would never get it closed again.  I guess all the jostling in the various moving vans didn't do it any good.  I've replaced it with a flat ironing pad for use on the kitchen peninsula.  It is more than adequate for the small amount of ironing I do.

[happy]

After 4 moves I keep thinking I've thrown out everything that needs throwing out.  Nope.

I can believe it! After 2 major clean outs in May and June, the following week I found several more items that needed to be thrown out.

[RetiredAt63]

After 4 moves I keep thinking I've thrown out everything that needs throwing out.  Nope.

I can believe it! After 2 major clean outs in May and June, the following week I found several more items that needed to be thrown out.

I can believe it, you have a house and outbuildings - when I moved out of the last house, I got rid of so much stuff, and that was after having done lots of decluttering.

It's like peeling an onion, but the layers never end.

I've also been buying storage things (ouch, but needed) and ditching the non-functional storage items the new things are replacing.  I've bought 2 metal shelving units and 4 wood bookcases since I moved here (I left 2 bookcases behind when I moved here, because they were low and basically unusable), and my organization is finally good.  I no longer wince when I open my bedroom closet door.  I can find all my craft things easily.  My moving boxes are all finally unpacked.

[mspym]

We keep finding more and more things to declutter and I am sure that when everything turns up on the other side there will be a bunch of things we’ll look at and wonder why we brought them.

[RetiredAt63]

We keep finding more and more things to declutter and I am sure that when everything turns up on the other side there will be a bunch of things we’ll look at and wonder why we brought them.

You can count on it!  Every time I've moved I've unpacked things and wondered why I moved them.

Even if something was useful at the old place, it may not work for the new place.  And sometimes you won't know that until after the move.

[happy]

Haha yes, these last 2 cleanups I decluttered a lot of things that I had moved twice. Actually 4 times because I had put them into a storage unit to declutter my property for sale, then moved them out again. They sat mostly unused in the next house, and I moved them again to my current location /facepalm. And they were still in the shed unmoved/unused since I moved here 5 years ago. Obviously I'm a slow learner.

[RetiredAt63]

Haha yes, these last 2 cleanups I decluttered a lot of things that I had moved twice. Actually 4 times because I had put them into a storage unit to declutter my property for sale, then moved them out again. They sat mostly unused in the next house, and I moved them again to my current location /facepalm. And they were still in the shed unmoved/unused since I moved here 5 years ago. Obviously I'm a slow learner.

We should forgive ourselves, because sometimes we just don't know what we will need until after the move.  I got rid of all my gardening gear, for example, when I sold the house  And then I ended up with a 12'x48' allotment garden and had to buy replacement equipment during the lock-down - that was interesting.  So this last move I brought it all with me, and am still waiting for an allotment garden.  The only place I am using any of it is at DD's.  Most of it is sitting in my locker.  I'm still hoping for that allotment garden!    ;-)

[mspym]

In terms of 'continually finding new things to discard', I just looked in E's shower and there's a bunch of discarded shampoo, conditioner and bodywash that will never be used. This is over and above the shampoo/conditioner/soaps in the other two bathrooms. I haven't even looked in the bathroom cabinets yet.

[RetiredAt63]

Back when I had the house in the country and the little apartment in the city, I had duplicates of a lot of things.  Part of the decluttering journey was to use up all the consumables, and choose from each set of duplicates which I preferred and donate the other.

It's a good thing laundry detergent doesn't go bad, I haven't bought any in over 2 years and won't be for another year or so.    ;-)

[Raenia]

Finally got rid of a stack of books we'd been wanting to sell - it had become clear that we were never going to get around to listing them on ebay, so we found a bookstore that takes trade ins and got an offer. Hideously undervalued, of course, but better than the nothing that we were going to get at the rate we were going! The ones the store didn't want went straight in the donation box.

[Prairie Gal]

I don't have a ton of clutter any more since downsizing and moving last year, but I recently gave away an old TV. That was a tough one because it was old technology and people want the new smart TV's now. Anyway, a lady was looking for one to hook up to a DVD player, so it was perfect for that.

[slackmax]

I don't have a ton of clutter any more since downsizing and moving last year, but I recently gave away an old TV. That was a tough one because it was old technology and people want the new smart TV's now. Anyway, a lady was looking for one to hook up to a DVD player, so it was perfect for that.

 

Hey, old tube tv's are somewhat in demand now, due to some retro computer technology craze going on. I see them selling for $25 each.  Who knew ?  Everyone was giving them away 2 years ago, and you were lucky to fins someone to take them, lol.   

[slackmax]

A bit of a win in my months-long juggernaut of decluttering (and actually removing everything from) my mom's apt, since she is moving to assisted living.

The price to remove a big piece of furniture is $150.  I sold this particular piece for $100. Massive win !  I get a one hundred dollar bill snug in my wallet, and I cheat the junk man out of his $150. I love it. $250 net benefit. 

I still have 2 more big pieces that have to go, but my deadline is coming up, and my nerves are shot,  so I'm gonna give the junker $300 to take them away.   It has to end sometime.