Author Topic: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?  (Read 2281 times)

soccerluvof4

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What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« on: December 21, 2017, 01:54:11 PM »
I went to workout today with my son who is home from college and when I was done I went down to watch him play some hoops. My son is 6'9 and a hell of an athlete who is on scholarship for another sport. While all my kids are athletic hes my oldest and watching him play is like a bit or part of me though hes much better than I was. But while i was sitting there it made me think how I regret not taking better care of my body from all the basketball I played and really miss afternoon pickup games. I am looking at 2 knee transplants for sure in 2018 that I have put off for to long and I cant anymore with the pain. So anyhow on the way to the car I told him it was fun watching him play even though I like watching him play soccer even more but I said you know the two things I miss the most looking back are those afternoon pickup games and selling our Cabin. While thats true and kinda bummed me out it made me think of other things I regret so here are some and what are yours if you wish to share.

I miss being able to run or play any form of sport. I am pretty limited to walking, eliptical, weight lifting etc.. miss the commodore and the sport of it.

I miss/Regret selling my cabin we had for 18 years and built to be our own for all our likes but I know it was the right thing to do and made being Fire'd that much quicker. We went from using it half the weekends of the year to only the fourth of July weekends. And though I could rent a place I never do so that solidifies my feelings.

I Regret selling my first house: Yes it wasnt ideal but it was in the best school system in the state, I had two acres and all the money i put into other houses bouncing around trying to be like the jones I could of probably remodeled that house 10x's over and still come out ahead. Not to mention the house was plenty big enough to live when we were at full size family of 6.

I Regret thinking that I was always going to just pay for things as they came up and didnt learn to invest sooner. While were fine we could be 10x's more fine with a little bit of planning early.

I Regret not doing more family vacations outside of sport and or going to the Cabin. Family is everything to me and though the memories are great I feel we dropped the ball putting so much travel into sports. You really dont see that much when your traveling around the country for that though it did payoff and my kids dont really have any insecurities or prejudices thanks to sports.

I regret never going to college. Not from a success point as I found another way but always felt like there was a shortcoming with me not going.

I regret (not sure if that describes it) not really having a family life growing up. Grew up poor in a family full of violence and in a very very bad neighborhood and at 53 my closest family is my older brother in Alaska who I havent seen in over 30 years.

Though my child hood sucked I miss my stepfather. He was my savior in all the bad times. The one thing my mom did right was marry my step dad.

While I have regrets I am way more fortunate and appreciate what I do have and in someways maybe those regrets pushed or motivated me in different ways to be the person I am good or bad...  who knows. 

What would you like to share if anything?



" In life you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate"

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2017, 02:19:50 PM »
I have plenty of financial regrets. The emotional ones. . . eh, I figure they led me to where I am now. And, had I not had a few failed relationships, I don't think I would have learned the tools necessary to have a great marriage with my husband. I learned a lot from those earlier "mistakes", and I'm pretty confident they prepared me well (although painfully) for marriage with kids. Which, I find to be not for the faint of heart.

Also, your cabin regrets make reinforce how happy I am that we are planning to keep our vacation house. It's near family, so close enough that it gets a lot of use, but also a great place with tons of memories.

Financial regrets:
-Should have sold our Seattle house before we missed the 2 of 5 year window for taxes. This was preventable, but we completely shifted our thinking on where we would settle down until the kids were out of school, so . . . in the end we sucked it up & made do. But, it was an incredibly expensive change in plans. Six figures.
-Wish I would have not treated shopping as a hobby in my 20s & 30s. Just a waste of time & money, neither of which I can ever get back.

Other than that, I've made plenty of smaller mistakes along the way & could have been just generally more frugal, but the two above would have had the biggest long term impact.

I'm about to embark on a pretty significant life change in 2018 (giving up my high paying job & spending more time with the kids). I know if I don't do this, I'll have major regrets. So, hoping to prevent that future regret.

soccerluvof4

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2017, 02:25:06 PM »
I have plenty of financial regrets. The emotional ones. . . eh, I figure they led me to where I am now. And, had I not had a few failed relationships, I don't think I would have learned the tools necessary to have a great marriage with my husband. I learned a lot from those earlier "mistakes", and I'm pretty confident they prepared me well (although painfully) for marriage with kids. Which, I find to be not for the faint of heart.

Also, your cabin regrets make reinforce how happy I am that we are planning to keep our vacation house. It's near family, so close enough that it gets a lot of use, but also a great place with tons of memories.

Financial regrets:
-Should have sold our Seattle house before we missed the 2 of 5 year window for taxes. This was preventable, but we completely shifted our thinking on where we would settle down until the kids were out of school, so . . . in the end we sucked it up & made do. But, it was an incredibly expensive change in plans. Six figures.
-Wish I would have not treated shopping as a hobby in my 20s & 30s. Just a waste of time & money, neither of which I can ever get back.

Other than that, I've made plenty of smaller mistakes along the way & could have been just generally more frugal, but the two above would have had the biggest long term impact.

I'm about to embark on a pretty significant life change in 2018 (giving up my high paying job & spending more time with the kids). I know if I don't do this, I'll have major regrets. So, hoping to prevent that future regret.




Your last comment is EXACTLY why I fire'd when I did.  Thanks for sharing
" In life you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate"

lotus

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #3 on: December 25, 2017, 01:16:09 PM »
I regret not getting out of an abusive marriage early.
For a long time after i divorced , was filled with shame and anger with myself for not picking up and leaving earlier. Had to learn to forgive myself and find peace

soccerluvof4

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2017, 03:03:07 AM »
I regret not getting out of an abusive marriage early.
For a long time after i divorced , was filled with shame and anger with myself for not picking up and leaving earlier. Had to learn to forgive myself and find peace


Well I am glad that you found the strength to do so! No one should be ever put through something like that. May your future be a bright one!
" In life you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate"

lotus

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #5 on: December 26, 2017, 10:22:54 AM »
Thank you Soccerluvof4..

CatamaranSailor

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2017, 11:48:05 AM »
Personally, I've learned to look at all the things I regret as learning experiences and also remind myself that the sum of all of my decisions (including the bad ones) has made me who I am. That being said I will admit I REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE SOLD MY 1968 CAMARO!

soccerluvof4

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #7 on: December 26, 2017, 11:52:35 AM »
Personally, I've learned to look at all the things I regret as learning experiences and also remind myself that the sum of all of my decisions (including the bad ones) has made me who I am. That being said I will admit I REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE SOLD MY 1968 CAMARO!


ewww! making me thinking of my 70 chevelle now! thats when cars rocked!
" In life you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate"

JAYSLOL

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #8 on: December 26, 2017, 12:54:39 PM »
Personally, I've learned to look at all the things I regret as learning experiences and also remind myself that the sum of all of my decisions (including the bad ones) has made me who I am. That being said I will admit I REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE SOLD MY 1968 CAMARO!


ewww! making me thinking of my 70 chevelle now! thats when cars rocked!

My Mom always says she regrets selling her 66 Mustang (for some shitty Fiat in the late 1970s). 

As far as my regrets, I don't really dwell on that kind of thing and I don't have any major regrets, although I would have appreciated finding MMM sooner and getting my financial life in order sooner. 

soccerluvof4

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2017, 03:18:59 AM »
Everybody says they don't dwell on there regrets and or wouldn't be the person they are today if they didn't make mistakes, changes etc.. and I get that and live that myself which I though i covered in my opening paragraphs but everybody regrets something whether its effected you or not. Be it selling a car or how you talked to someone etc.. That was the purpose simply of the thread which is why I gave a broad list of things I regret.  So I get that.....
" In life you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate"

Malkynn

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2017, 08:06:59 AM »
Everybody says they don't dwell on there regrets and or wouldn't be the person they are today if they didn't make mistakes, changes etc.. and I get that and live that myself which I though i covered in my opening paragraphs but everybody regrets something whether its effected you or not. Be it selling a car or how you talked to someone etc.. That was the purpose simply of the thread which is why I gave a broad list of things I regret.  So I get that.....

Níah.
I have shit Iíve done that makes me cringe or laugh at myself. 
Iíve made decisions that I now know were stupid or costly, some of which Iím still paying for.
Iíve hurt some people in ways that give me pause.
Iíve worn some outfits that make for embarrassing photos.
Iíve said some things that get quoted back to me and make me feel self conscious.
Etc, etc.

I really donít have any regrets.
I used to, but Iíve learned not to.
Iíve learned that the more you can look back on and say ďI wouldnít do that againĒ the more you have learned in life.

The saddest people in the world are people who arenít somehow embarrassed by their past selves because it means theyíve stagnated in their growth and development. Knowing better now means Iím in a privileged position of wisdom that I wasnít in before when I used that terrible judgement to do that stupid thing. So yes, I may judge my past behaviours harshly, but I donít really bother with regretting them because theyíre done.

A teacher of mine always says ďif you quote me, date me, because the more you learn, the more you will find yourself to have been wrongĒ. Mistakes and wrong paths are actually an intrinsic and necessary part of progress.

To get all 7 Habits about it, the past is outside of my circle of influence. The best I can do with my past is to utilize that experience to better guide my future.
Expect mistakes, expect failures, and build successes from them.


sisto

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #11 on: December 27, 2017, 10:54:46 AM »
Oooh this thread really hits you in the feels. What a great time of year to reflect and make plans for the coming year. I definitely have my regrets and one is wishing I would have spent more time with my kids. They really do grow up in the blink of an eye. I've made financial mistakes too and could have retired even earlier, but always thought that my plan of retiring at 55 was early. So my goal had always been to shoot for 55, but since finding MMM 2 years ago I've been able to pull that into 52. I'm 3.5 years away from FIRE and at the point where I should be able to coast into it very safely. I've decided to take more vacations, to step back and not let my job run my life. Being a single income family I've always felt a strong need for the security the MegaCorp provides me. I've realized since finding MMM that I'm worth so much more and I'm financially stable enough to just not give a f*ck anymore. I have a love/hate relationship with my job. Planning to start winding down and not working so much for sure next year.
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jooniFLORisploo

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #12 on: December 27, 2017, 11:08:01 AM »
I regret three of my decisions and many of my circumstances age 0-45.
However, I'm now wildly happy and am having the best life I've ever had, so I feel like it all balances out for me.
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big_slacker

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2017, 08:44:17 AM »
I regret not buying the condo I was renting back home in the mountains in the late 90's. It would be long since paid off.

I regret MOVING away from the mountains 3 different times, the last 7 years ago. It was always driven by lack of an environment where I could meet my potential, but now having tested my potential and knowing what I'm capable of I'd rather be back there in that small town with good people and jaw dropping beauty.

soccerluvof4

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #14 on: January 05, 2018, 02:59:37 AM »
I regret not buying the condo I was renting back home in the mountains in the late 90's. It would be long since paid off.

I regret MOVING away from the mountains 3 different times, the last 7 years ago. It was always driven by lack of an environment where I could meet my potential, but now having tested my potential and knowing what I'm capable of I'd rather be back there in that small town with good people and jaw dropping beauty.



My goal is to move to the mountains for the first time. My oldest goes to College in the Appalachians and I am hooked. That is where were headed and hopefully sooner than later
" In life you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate"

soccerluvof4

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #15 on: January 07, 2018, 02:35:09 AM »
I have a new one! moving to a warmer climate...
" In life you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate"

CoffeeR

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Re: What things might you emotionally or otherwise regret or miss?
« Reply #16 on: January 07, 2018, 08:16:32 AM »
I regret moving my investments massively into tech since I had completely missed the enormous run-up. I'll let you guess as to when that was...