Thanks everyone! I'm really happy with where we are at. To break down the pre-tax savings:
Me: 18.5k in 401k, 5.5k in IRA, 6.9k in HSA
Wife: 18.5k in 401k, 18.5k in 457b, 5.5k in IRA, ~4k in a self-directed retirement account through work (offered as alternative to pension plan)
I include any matches we get
I also diverted part of the investment gains into pre-tax savings since the growth in the retirement accounts isn't taxed
Gym membership is my wife's, to a climbing gym she uses 2-3 times per week. I'm fortunate to have a gym at work.
Also we live in Denver, so not exactly a LCOL area, but we make do with a small apartment