Author Topic: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D  (Read 2189 times)

Malkynn

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No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« on: December 09, 2017, 07:16:25 AM »
There are no kids in my family, at least none that come for Christmas. The youngest family member is nearly 30, so weíre all self sufficient adults who can buy whatever we really want for ourselves.
So FINALLY, Iíve been able to pursuade my family to forego gifts this year altogether!

The final straw is that my parents are going through a significant financial crunch, so I told my mom not to waste her money and time trying to buy us things that we donít really need. It snow balled from there into big philosophical discussion about the meaning of Christmas and I managed to get my entire family on board with abandoning gifts altogether.

I had already asked them not to gift wrap anything and that I wouldnít be gift wrapping anything this year as Iím moving more and more towards zero waste, so it didnít take much for them to move past gifts since there would be no unwrapping ritual anyway, just the awkward handing over of purchased goods to each other.

I am so happy.
I used to think that I loved the gift part of Christmas. I used to put enormous effort into finding the perfect gifts, but it turns out it was a sense of relief in finding great gifts, not actual joy.
This season feels so much less stressful and Iím looking forward to the holidays so much more now.

Itís crazy that I could have been so wrong about what I actually like about Christmas.


BikeFanatic

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2017, 04:41:10 PM »
Great fro you! I am doing NO gifts too except my mother who I get gift certificates for and we go out to dinner with them.
It is such a relief not to have to shop.

Malkynn

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2017, 04:55:23 PM »
Great fro you! I am doing NO gifts too except my mother who I get gift certificates for and we go out to dinner with them.
It is such a relief not to have to shop.

Yeah, my mom is totally still getting a gift, and always will.
The rules donít apply to her.

soccerluvof4

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2017, 03:45:53 AM »
yea we dont "allow" the MIL to buy anything for us or all the kids , but we all chip in and buy her one nice gift from the 5 families.
" In life you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate"

elaine amj

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2017, 10:11:20 AM »
That's awesome. DH decided on no Christmas gifts this year, not even for kids and despite agreeing in theory, I've been struggling a bit about it. Been hard as I keep thinking up of cool stuff to get and then have to remind myself I'm not getting anything.

I have to say, I'm still a little tempted. My DD would love love love a little thing of eos lip balm (it's $5 so it's usually always a flat no) and I was thinking it would be cool to get Spot It for my DS as a game for the family to play.

And yes, DH did bend the rules for my mother (who is also refusing to do this whole "no gift" thing and is shopping for gifts for all of us haha)
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Chesleygirl

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2017, 12:08:38 PM »
Why you shouldn't give Christmas gifts to adults:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/nation-now/2017/11/20/why-you-shouldnt-give-gifts-grown-adults/841516001/

ďWeíre making guesses about what other people need or want or like," said Waldfogel, author of Scroogenomics: Why You Shouldn't Buy Presents for the Holidays. "If I go out and spend $50 on you, I may buy something that's worth nothing to you."

LiveLean

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2017, 02:44:30 PM »
My side of the family has pared it down, to the point where my sisters and I this year decided no gifts for nieces and nephews this year. So nada on my side.

Wife's side is still a work in progress. Sigh.
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sparkytheop

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2017, 10:46:34 AM »
A few years ago, we pretty much stopped the family gift exchange for anyone other than the kids.  However, if we felt moved, we would still gift some hand made stuff (chex mix, dog treats, cookies, spice rubs, smoothie mixes, vanilla extract, potholders, whatever).  If we enjoyed the gift making process, and had time to do it, we still gifted that stuff.  If we did not gift anything at all, that was fine too.  It took so much stress out of looking for that "perfect" gift.

My parents still get some sort of gift (we usually gave them blown glass ornaments that we made at a local studio, with lots of help from actual glass blowing artists).  This year they are getting a quilt.

Yesterday, I helped my mom pick their gift for my son.  He's getting teas (Russian, Chinese, Thai, and Vietnamese teas), some kvas, and some "fancy" hot chocolate.  These will make him happy, and she kept it under $25 (the amount they spent on the other grandkids).

Some years, no gifts is the best!  Other years, I really like to share something I've made myself.  No expectations from family members makes either possible. ETA: well, it's possible even if they expect something, but it does make it easy and drama-free.

wordnerd

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2017, 10:49:15 AM »
Nice! I'm envious. I used to get close to that, but this year is terrible. 13 on DH's side, 5 on my side, 3 daycare teachers, 2 work gift exchanges, and, oh yeah, my kid (who also has a Christmas adjacent birthday). Sigh...

partgypsy

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2017, 11:05:54 AM »
Good for you! I still like getting gifts for friends and family. Still enjoy receiving gifts. Probably spend an eye watering amount around Christmas compared to most of you (for me, this is including the new tv and new to me xbox, around 800. Without the tv, 425). But every year, I have been paring it down, both with my kids and family members. And so far there has been no sense of deprivation, just more satisfaction and appreciation, and less angst. If I can't find something I feel is worth it for a family member, I either get something completely practical, or think, the next time I see them in person I will treat them for lunch. I am not going to buy something "just because". In the same, my daughter has a list that grows throughout the season. Now once I hit my limit ($100 per kid, yes I know that is a lot), I just don't buy any more. My Dad gave me $100. I could put it towards bills, but the things I have purchased for myself so far (a $10 sweater, a pair of $20 sneakers, wool socks) I am setting aside for Xmas and will tell him thank you, for what he has gotten me.

powskier

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2017, 12:45:58 AM »
I recently realized that instead of receiving Christmas gifts I'd like to have people come over to TAKE something of mine that I haven't used in a while.
They would receive a "gift", and I would receive the gift of having one less thing.

Malkynn

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #11 on: December 20, 2017, 04:51:33 AM »
I recently realized that instead of receiving Christmas gifts I'd like to have people come over to TAKE something of mine that I haven't used in a while.
They would receive a "gift", and I would receive the gift of having one less thing.

Iíve actually done this.
For her birthday, I gave my step mom an old Prada bag of mine that she has loved for years and that I donít ever use anymore.

I am shamelessly regifting things this year.
I just got an expensive pair of designer earrings yesterday from my boss that I donít like and canít wear (metal allergy), so Iím passing them on to my sister in law. This wonít be the first time sheís received a designer item courtesy of my boss, and she doesnít mind it being a regift and knows full well that my boss spends more on me than I would on her, so she loves the arrangement, and Iím happy that the gifts get used.

Iíve asked my boss multiple times to stop buying me gifts, but sheís a gift giver.

Lanthiriel

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #12 on: December 26, 2017, 04:55:41 PM »
The only person who got us anything way my mom, and she scaled it waaaaaay back from recent years (I think it probably cost her as much to ship the box as she spent on its contents :/). We did get a couple of giftcards/checks from grandparents, but I'll take that over gifts any day.

chris5977

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #13 on: January 02, 2018, 10:31:04 AM »
My family has a no gifts for adults policy that has made the holidays so much more enjoyable.
I am a crime fighting sailing bum.

meghan88

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #14 on: January 03, 2018, 10:44:56 AM »
Happy to report that we also had an almost gift-free Christmas.  One sibling broke ranks though, and sent us a page-a-day calendar and a package of Christmas socks.  :-/

justchristine

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #15 on: January 03, 2018, 02:39:56 PM »
Happy to report that we also had an almost gift-free Christmas.  One sibling broke ranks though, and sent us a page-a-day calendar and a package of Christmas socks.  :-/

After Christmas my SO and I were chatting about how much we don't care about gifts so we are going to stop giving each other gifts.  So that means I just need to get birthday and Christmas presents for my parents going forward...sweet!

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #16 on: January 03, 2018, 05:11:32 PM »
My family is so resistant to no gifts, itís foolish to stop them. So I merely said, no gifts for me, I have everything, use the money for yourself. My mother got me underwear that I picked out and was going to pay for but she insisted so I had something under the tree. I got 2 gift cards from the family but I gave them to other family to use.  Gifts are so hard and most people donít like what they get anyways, what is the point?  I think the only people who should get gifts are mothers, grandparents and kids. They are the only ones who truly appreciate anyone doing anything for them.

Malkynn

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #17 on: January 04, 2018, 07:55:20 AM »
My clinic is closed for 2 weeks over Christmas, so I donít have any income.
Normally by the end of the holidays I have a cash flow crunch, but this year I had a surplus and just threw it all on debt.

I am LOVING frugal Christmas!

beekayworld

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Re: No Christmas gifts this year!! :D
« Reply #18 on: January 29, 2018, 04:48:51 PM »
Christmas 2016 I took my three adult children and future daughter-in-law on a trip.  I paid for our airfare/hotel rooms/meals, etc.  It was perfect! We got to spend a lot of time together and it was something they wouldn't have gotten for themselves.

Holiday trips are going to be my usual gift from now on. They all get 1 to 3 weeks off work for Christmas and New Year's.

This last Christmas my oldest daughter was working in Australia, and my youngest went out to spend her 3-week vacation time in Australia and New Zealand with her. (I did send a small gift for each with the youngest daughter because I wouldn't be with them.) 

My future DIL dropped my son off on her way to her parents' house. I sent a basket of food with her to my new co-in-laws because it's way too soon to discuss dropping gift exchange with them :) . 

My son and I had a super low-key Christmas. He'll be married before the 2018 Christmas and be splitting time between the two homes. So having TIME with him alone was the best gift I could have!!! Especially since I didn't have either daughter. I cooked Waygu steaks as a very special meal, and we watched movies.