Getting paid to poop!

[aristotle]

No, the thread title is no joke.

Every day at my office job I always try to take relieve my self. I figure the 5-10 minutes or so I'm on the toilet I'm getting paid. If you do that lets see every other day or 4/5 of the week at your job you're basically being paid an hours salary to poop! Not only that but you'll save some expenses on some of the utility bills you would normally have to pay at your house such as water, toilet paper and less chance of you're toilet getting clogged(that's if you eat like a monster like myself!) Let say you spend 30 minutes a week at work on the toilet doing the dirty deed and you make a wage of $20/hr. That's 26 hours in a year on the toilet at work x $20= $520. You'll make $520 a year while pooping! If you have a higher hourly wage or poop more even more money! Then there's the money you save on toilet paper and water.

And don't be grossed out by public bathrooms. Chances are if you have a office job the company has a janitor cleaning the toilets regularly.

[kpd905]

Not surprisingly, there's an app for that: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.poopsalary&hl=en

[garion]

I thought this thread was going to be about stool donation: http://www.openbiome.org/stool-donation/. You can make up to $250/week!

[mom2_3Hs]

unless you're salaried.  Then the work takes as long as it takes you to get it done, so if you spend your time on the pot, that is five minutes you need to work later.

[chasesfish]

unless you're salaried.  Then the work takes as long as it takes you to get it done, so if you spend your time on the pot, that is five minutes you need to work later.

This is accurate

[merula]

unless you're salaried.  Then the work takes as long as it takes you to get it done, so if you spend your time on the pot, that is five minutes you need to work later.

This is accurate

Unless your salaried job requires "core" hours, or your boss/coworkers keep an eye on arrival and departure times and judge accordingly, so you're basically hourly with no overtime. Or if you're in a salaried role with a lot of downtime.

[WranglerBowman]

I get upset when my wife gets home from work and immedeately goes to the bathroom to poop.  I keep trying to tell her to poop at work so she; sticks it to the man, our plumbing lasts longer, less likelyhood of a clogged toilet, less water usage, less toilet paper used, etc etc etc...  Theres a fair amount of cost you can dump (literally) on your employer by taking a dump at work!

[Exflyboy]

I get upset when my wife gets home from work and immedeately goes to the bathroom to poop.  I keep trying to tell her to poop at work so she; sticks it to the man, our plumbing lasts longer, less likelyhood of a clogged toilet, less water usage, less toilet paper used, etc etc etc...  Theres a fair amount of cost you can dump (literally) on your employer by taking a dump at work!

Its even more costly if you have a septic system.. more pooping = more pumping at $300 a pop..:)

[trailrated]

Saves on tp too :)

[Random Internet Stranger]

OMG I WISH my husband would poo at work.

But nooooooooooo he says that work does not provide "a proper environment conducive to good pooing".

So he gets to come home, announces to me he is going to the bog, and I get to listen to the fan going, and cats screaming at the door because he closed it (thank god). Then he comes out of the bathroom, smiles and stretches and says "Now this is a place to poo!!"

I am married to a weirdo :( At least he sprays febreeze afterwards. That's something I guess....

[Jack]

I get upset when my wife gets home from work and immedeately goes to the bathroom to poop.  I keep trying to tell her to poop at work so she; sticks it to the man, our plumbing lasts longer, less likelyhood of a clogged toilet, less water usage, less toilet paper used, etc etc etc...  Theres a fair amount of cost you can dump (literally) on your employer by taking a dump at work!

Its even more costly if you have a septic system.. more pooping = more pumping at $300 a pop..:)

I think that if your septic system is working properly, it should never (or at least, only very rarely) need to be pumped.

My parents' house has had the septic pumped either zero or one times in the 22 years since it was built.

[forummm]

No, the thread title is no joke.

Every day at my office job I always try to take relieve my self. I figure the 5-10 minutes or so I'm on the toilet I'm getting paid. If you do that lets see every other day or 4/5 of the week at your job you're basically being paid an hours salary to poop! Not only that but you'll save some expenses on some of the utility bills you would normally have to pay at your house such as water, toilet paper and less chance of you're toilet getting clogged(that's if you eat like a monster like myself!) Let say you spend 30 minutes a week at work on the toilet doing the dirty deed and you make a wage of $20/hr. That's 26 hours in a year on the toilet at work x $20= $520. You'll make $520 a year while pooping! If you have a higher hourly wage or poop more even more money! Then there's the money you save on toilet paper and water.

And don't be grossed out by public bathrooms. Chances are if you have a office job the company has a janitor cleaning the toilets regularly.

You sound like a crappy employee.

[MandalayVA]

No, the thread title is no joke.

Every day at my office job I always try to take relieve my self. I figure the 5-10 minutes or so I'm on the toilet I'm getting paid. If you do that lets see every other day or 4/5 of the week at your job you're basically being paid an hours salary to poop! Not only that but you'll save some expenses on some of the utility bills you would normally have to pay at your house such as water, toilet paper and less chance of you're toilet getting clogged(that's if you eat like a monster like myself!) Let say you spend 30 minutes a week at work on the toilet doing the dirty deed and you make a wage of $20/hr. That's 26 hours in a year on the toilet at work x $20= $520. You'll make $520 a year while pooping! If you have a higher hourly wage or poop more even more money! Then there's the money you save on toilet paper and water.

And don't be grossed out by public bathrooms. Chances are if you have a office job the company has a janitor cleaning the toilets regularly.

You sound like a crappy employee.

[10dollarsatatime]

I thought this thread was going to be about stool donation: http://www.openbiome.org/stool-donation/. You can make up to $250/week!

Why is this not a thing where I live?  It's incredibly gross, but on the other hand, I could tell people I paid off my house years early with poop!

[dsmexpat]

I'm reasonably sure that's why we have rolls of sandpaper at my place of employment. You literally couldn't pay me to put my anus through that.

[mancityfan]

Sounds like a great way to make a shit load of money

[Johnez]

I thought this thread was going to be about stool donation: http://www.openbiome.org/stool-donation/. You can make up to $250/week!

Wow, now that is getting paid to poop!

This takes it to a new level:

Earn prizes

Win competitions like biggest single donation of the month, or most donations in a month for bonuses and prizes!

[Beardog]

aristotle, thank you for making me laugh out loud!

[aristotle]

aristotle, thank you for making me laugh out loud!

NP Beardog. Monday morning I expect you to be squatting in the stool next to me or in spirit atleast.

akward? Yes, much

[Zamboni]

I have a friend who takes this to extremes.  He simply won't poop at home unless it's an emergency.  He will hold it until he is in a public bathroom.  I think it's hilarious.  It makes me laugh that he waters his lawn but he doesn't want to flush his own toilet.  He also tries to shower only at work (yes, we have a shower work. Lap of luxury.)

[NoraLenderbee]

I thought this thread was going to be about stool donation: http://www.openbiome.org/stool-donation/. You can make up to $250/week!

That would be the easiest side gig ever.

I wish I lived in Medford Mass. It would be so much fun to turn my sh*t into gold.

[Kriegsspiel]

Too bad lentils are so cheap, they'd be a totally legit tax write-off.