controlling "other" expenses

[johnnylighthouse]

I thought you all might like to hear how I've been slowing down and forcing myself to think before making elective purchases.

I have a paper list of stuff I want.  When I want something that's not mission critical or routine or otherwise pre-approved I have to remember to add it to the list.   Many times I forget and it just goes away, but if I remember I drag out the list and add my new desire.  Then I spend a few minutes thinking wow there is no way I can buy all of this, I've got to prioritize.  Then I get bored and go do something fun instead of thinking hard or spending money.

Sometimes after much percolation and gnashing of teeth I decide that I actually do have priorities and act on them.  Sometimes things on the list become urgent and clarify my priorities.  Many times once I write something down I don't think about it until I go to add something else to the list. Sometimes i cross off these forgotten wants but mostly I let them stay to make sure I have to think hard next time I take a look.

[igthebold]

Thanks Johnny, I'm thinking through this same issue. The problem I foresee with myself is that, since the pre-spending activity is arbitrary, it's easy to bypass. Of course, that doesn't make it bad.. I just don't trust myself all that much. :)

I try to structure a lot of my life to avoid decision fatigue. Maybe for me that means I can only make purchase decisions in the morning when I'm fresher.

[arebelspy]

The other thing to do - that's better in the long run, IMO, than structuring your life to avoid it - is build up resistance.

Willpower is a muscle.  Make yours a strong one.

[igthebold]

The other thing to do - that's better in the long run, IMO, than structuring your life to avoid it - is build up resistance.

Willpower is a muscle.  Make yours a strong one.

I suspect the "right" thing to do is both. My biceps are muscles, too, but if I require too much of them they'll fail me. Thus: increase endurance AND don't overtax.

[gooki]

The other thing to do - that's better in the long run, IMO, than structuring your life to avoid it - is build up resistance.

Willpower is a muscle.  Make yours a strong one.

Well put.

[johnnylighthouse]

Willpower is a muscle, but at any time one also has a finite quantity.  I'm using and building mine elsewhere these days.  In the meantime a crutch that pushes me in a positive direction is useful.

[arebelspy]

Willpower is a muscle, but at any time one also has a finite quantity.  I'm using and building mine elsewhere these days.  In the meantime a crutch that pushes me in a positive direction is useful.

Oh absolutely.  You don't start out doing 100 push ups.  You start out doing 1.

Anything to help you while you build up endurance is great.

But the bottom line is you've gotta get to the point where you automatically consider every purchase.. and that's not in a taxing way, it's in a way such that basically everything is rejected, cause your filter is so high, and then those few things that you decide you actually want, you consider if you need them.

[igthebold]

But the bottom line is you've gotta get to the point where you automatically consider every purchase.. and that's not in a taxing way, it's in a way such that basically everything is rejected, cause your filter is so high, and then those few things that you decide you actually want, you consider if you need them.

I like that. Very helpful.

[darkelenchus]

I have a paper list of stuff I want.  When I want something that's not mission critical or routine or otherwise pre-approved I have to remember to add it to the list.   Many times I forget and it just goes away, but if I remember I drag out the list and add my new desire.  Then I spend a few minutes thinking wow there is no way I can buy all of this, I've got to prioritize.  Then I get bored and go do something fun instead of thinking hard or spending money.

This really is a great way to curb inordinate desire for for stuff, and thereby regain control of your life. I've done something similar for years.

[carolinakaren]

For me this category includes entertainment, and eating out at restaurants.... This is mostly how our group of friends interacts.  Otherwise I'm not tempted because I hate to shop or buy "things".  I'm trying to find a system to help prioritize these wants, so I'll try the suggestions from this thread.

[ShanghaiStashing]

I have a strong sense of buyers remorse which has helped me avoid buying virtually anything that I don't need. I went through a period where I bought a lot of useless shit when I was younger (I can't even remember half of the things that I purchased) and it didn't make me any happier, and most of the time the products were substantially less awesome than I had imagined they would be.

To me it was a bit like being hungover after drinking. You see a want that you think is epicly valuable in your life. You buy it. It costs you money against your goals. It is less awesome in practice over time. You experience buyers remorse (my equivalent to a scheisty hangover). You feel crappy.

I did the same with buying stuff that I did with hangovers. I just decided that I didn't want to feel that way anymore.