Sorry you are feeling sad.
Maybe you are having a deeper insight about 'the american dream of home ownership', that to some extent is also a marketing idea, one of consumption, that is not necessarily a key to happiness for all.
My view is that this site allows each of us to think independently and realize our spending is not the key to a happy life. A home is shelter and a set of financial choices about how we pay for shelter. IMHO the paid off value of a home should not be seen as either an investment or a dream to be realized. It is important to be comfortable, to manage costs, etc. However a traveling van, rented apartment, or tent might just be a better fit to some lifestyles and not everyone needs a paid off suburban home to enjoy life.
So, in summary, maybe it is good that you are being reflective and thinking deeply about your happiness at this moment. It may help you to plan a better future life plan.