Author Topic: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh  (Read 4918 times)

jennifers

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I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« on: September 10, 2017, 09:46:42 PM »
Looking for advice or facepunches. Also just looking to complain.

I moved from a super tiny 500sq ft new condo to a 100 year old house. I was super excited about this move but now that I'm here I hate it. I think I got spoiled by living in the nice condo. I've lived in old rental houses before and I was fine with it. I've been in the new house for 2 weeks.  I'm normally pretty quick to adjust to new places.
Some things I don't like:
Too much space. Too many rooms. Some of the bedrooms are creepy. I don't like going up and down the stairs because they're steep and I'm a klutz. 
Everything feels old and dirty. I washed the hardwood floors but they still feel gross. Plaster walls are super bumpy and cracked in some areas. Not even sure who to contact to fix walls like this.
Contractors never follow up. I've contacted people about refinishing hardwood floors and getting a deck rebuilt. I got some initial responses but they've never sent over an actual quote and it's been over a week. I'm used to the IT/computer science world where things get done quickly. I think my deck job is too small so no one wants to do it.
Basement is so gross and scary. I tried cleaning the basement a little but I'm worried disturbing the cobwebs down there will cause spiders to migrate upstairs.
I don't like leaving the house at night or getting home at night because it's scary.

Financially it would be insane to sell before living here 5 years.
I could rent out a room or two to save money, but the chance of nightmare room-mates seems pretty risky. I'm in my 30's so it doesn't seem right to have a room-mate I don't know well.
I can rent out the whole house in 2 years according to my mortgage if I want.


Any ideas on making myself more comfortable here or other options I have?  I have like 70,000$ in cash right now for remodeling etc.





mustachepungoeshere

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2017, 09:50:44 PM »
Looking for advice or facepunches. Also just looking to complain.

I moved from a super tiny 500sq ft new condo to a 100 year old house. I was super excited about this move but now that I'm here I hate it. I think I got spoiled by living in the nice condo. I've lived in old rental houses before and I was fine with it. I've been in the new house for 2 weeks.  I'm normally pretty quick to adjust to new places.
Some things I don't like:
Too much space. Too many rooms. Some of the bedrooms are creepy. I don't like going up and down the stairs because they're steep and I'm a klutz. 
Everything feels old and dirty. I washed the hardwood floors but they still feel gross. Plaster walls are super bumpy and cracked in some areas. Not even sure who to contact to fix walls like this.
Contractors never follow up. I've contacted people about refinishing hardwood floors and getting a deck rebuilt. I got some initial responses but they've never sent over an actual quote and it's been over a week. I'm used to the IT/computer science world where things get done quickly. I think my deck job is too small so no one wants to do it.
Basement is so gross and scary. I tried cleaning the basement a little but I'm worried disturbing the cobwebs down there will cause spiders to migrate upstairs.
I don't like leaving the house at night or getting home at night because it's scary.

Financially it would be insane to sell before living here 5 years.
I could rent out a room or two to save money, but the chance of nightmare room-mates seems pretty risky. I'm in my 30's so it doesn't seem right to have a room-mate I don't know well.
I can rent out the whole house in 2 years according to my mortgage if I want.


Any ideas on making myself more comfortable here or other options I have?  I have like 70,000$ in cash right now for remodeling etc.

Why did you buy the house?

I'm not being facetious - what drew you to the house in the first place? There must have been something you liked about it in order to buy it.

jennifers

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2017, 10:00:15 PM »
I bought it because it's in a good location, has a yard for my dogs, allows me to have 3+ dogs (2 permanent dogs and a foster dog), and I thought the house was 'cute'. It has a remodeled fancy kitchen and an updated bathroom plus new air conditioning, furnace, water heater.

Pigeon

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2017, 07:03:52 AM »
It's not that unusual for contractors to take some time to get back to you with a quote, especially if it's a small job.  They are going to try to fit you in when they can, they aren't going to prioritize you over a big job.  I just had a stamped concrete patio put in and it took almost four months between me contacting companies and getting the work done.  Call several places for each job and be prepared to wait.  This just doesn't work like IT.

I would try to relax and give it a little time.  It's a very different arrangement and it might take awhile to grow on you.  I think the idea of tackling one room at a time is good to make yourself a comfy spot in the house.  In about six months, if you aren't happy living alone there, you might think about advertising for roommates.

Dicey

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2017, 08:01:02 AM »
Buy in haste, repent at leisure?

Pigeon was more diplomatic than I might be. I think your whole post seems kind of off, particularly your attitude toward contractors. Their time is money. You expect them to drop everything and run to you, during the height of their season? That's a good way to attract a shyster, IMO.

Focus on the positive aspects of the house, then put on your big girl pants and deal with the rest bit by bit. You'll be fine.
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J Boogie

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2017, 08:11:22 AM »
If you have white trim, paint your walls matte/eggshell white and repaint your trim gloss white.

If you have dark stained oak trim, paint those walls a very light/warm gray.

If your floors feel dirty, but the finish isn't peeling/chipping, rent a hardwood floor washing machine.  Most rental places will have one and they will do wonders.  Again, this is just if your current finish isn't peeling or chipping off in places.  If the finish has deteriorated or it's become uneven, then refinishing is your best bet.

Get rid of any curtains and decor that has been left over from other residents.

Make sure your handrail on your steep stairs is good and solid, maybe add another.

I wish I had more rooms in my old house! Turn one into an office type room, one into a guest room, etc. 

Sounds like you might not be into DIY stuff.  If you can't get into DIY stuff, just sell it.  Seriously.  Houses over 100 years old will be a nightmare if you don't want to buy a bunch of tools and do things yourself.


GuitarStv

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2017, 08:27:01 AM »
Too much space. Too many rooms.

Shut the vents going into the rooms you don't like.  Shut the doors to the rooms that you don't like.  Don't open them again.


Some of the bedrooms are creepy.

Grow up?  :P


I don't like going up and down the stairs because they're steep and I'm a klutz.

Do the stairs have a solid railing?  Are the stairs slippery?  If you just answered yes and no .  .  . deal with it?  Worst case scenario, get a football helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, a backcatchers chest plate, and suit up every time you go up/down the stairs.


Everything feels old and dirty. I washed the hardwood floors but they still feel gross. Plaster walls are super bumpy and cracked in some areas. Not even sure who to contact to fix walls like this.

If the hardwood floors don't feel smooth, then it might be time to refinish them.  This involves sanding them down to the wood (best to rent a big drum sander for this) and then carefully applying a lacquer.  It's not hard to do, just time consuming . . . but everything will look like a million bucks afterwards.


Contractors never follow up. I've contacted people about refinishing hardwood floors and getting a deck rebuilt. I got some initial responses but they've never sent over an actual quote and it's been over a week. I'm used to the IT/computer science world where things get done quickly. I think my deck job is too small so no one wants to do it.

Do it yourself.  Particularly if your jobs are very small.  This is a great way to learn useful skills.  Owning a home means regular repairs and work on that home.


Basement is so gross and scary. I tried cleaning the basement a little but I'm worried disturbing the cobwebs down there will cause spiders to migrate upstairs.

Letting the spiders have an undisturbed place where they can breed will guarentee that armies of them eventually migrate upstairs.  Clean the damned basement!


I don't like leaving the house at night or getting home at night because it's scary.

Why is it scary?  A lot of the time this has to do with poor lighting.  Install some bright exterior lights on a timer or motion sensor so that you're surrounded with warm lights as you walk towards/away from your home at night.

v8rx7guy

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2017, 08:39:31 AM »
Temporary buyers remorse is extremely common with purchasing a house.  Give it some time!

AlanStache

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2017, 08:45:36 AM »
Chill.

Prioritize.  What you think has to be done NOW wont be done in 2 years but six other projects will be done.  Do what you can on your own.  Some stuff is hard to do yourself, most is not.

Are you unpacked?  Not being settled and not knowing where things are is not a good feeling.  Do you have furniture? 

Establish some routines.  Dont be afraid to move things that you unpacked if there location does not work.
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FIFoFum

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2017, 09:10:19 AM »
I have moved many times, and it always takes some time to figure out what works for you in a new place.

Adjusting to the creakiness and things that make the new place feel "creepy" also takes  time, but there is no reason that you can't use some lighting to help you. If your house is dark outside, put in motion sensor lights. It's cheap and easy (& can be nice when you're letting dogs out at night/in winter). There are lighting solutions ranging in "smartness" that can help you feel like your basement is less gross, your home is less "scary" at night, etc.

Give yourself time to figure out what your concerns and anxieties are really about. This is a big change in life. Is it responsibility and obligation from being a home owner? Learning how to do things for yourself in a home and being afraid of "breaking things"? Or just missing where you left?

Is it feeling like your home now has to look like pinterest or a magazine in order to not be "old and dirty"? Because that's an impossible standard to aspire to in general (hello photoshop & staged photoshoots).

If you dig a little bit into your feelings & acknowledge where they come from (instead of facepunching away), it can help you adjust to the new place you've chosen for home.
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jennifers

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2017, 09:31:39 PM »
Thanks for the replies everyone. I think I just needed some encouragement and suggestions. Feeling at least somewhat better now.

Car Jack

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2017, 12:16:02 PM »
You need to exercise the monsters from under the beds.  Any 8 year old boy will know how to do this.

GuitarStv

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2017, 12:40:57 PM »
You need to exercise the monsters from under the beds.  Any 8 year old boy will know how to do this.

Would one need to contact Richard Simmons as an exercist?  :P

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2017, 01:40:58 PM »
It sounds like a house with character, which I love.

Holding a party is a great way to feel more settled in a house - housewarmings have a purpose beyond what you know.

Fresh paint is the best for making somewhere seem clean and bright - maybe have a painting party?
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spartana

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2017, 02:17:10 PM »
You need to exercise the monsters from under the beds.  Any 8 year old boy will know how to do this.

Would one need to contact Richard Simmons as an exercist?  :P
That's who I'd fear was lurking under my bed ;-).

OP does your house feel creepy in that "OMG I bought the Amityville Horror house" kind of way or just the too big, dark areas, drafty, creaky kind of way? If is the latter I think that once you get to know the house, get it cleaned and maybe painted, light the dark areas and spend time in the creepier parts of the house you'll find most of your fears will go away. If not then maybe think about getting a roommate to help ease you into the transition. Once you are more comfortable there you can get rid of the roommate.
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srad

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #15 on: September 12, 2017, 03:58:11 PM »
Haha, did anybody else read this and think to themselves "Jen's not helping the stereotype for millennials"?   that was a classic Millennial rant! 

OP, give it time You made a big move from a 500sqft condo to a 100 year old home, lots will be different.  Old homes are great that's all i buy.  But they do come with work,  lots of it.  Suggestions already made below will make a big difference.  It is amazing what a can of paint can do.

Dee18

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #16 on: September 12, 2017, 07:16:16 PM »
I bought a house nine years ago that I loved in some ways ( perfect location, charming from the outside) but it was 85 years old and I began having serious allergy problems after I moved in.  I also realized I hated bumpy plaster, thin glass windows that let every sound in, a leaky attic that let animals in, etc.   I had the floors refinished and painted most rooms (see Maria Killam's blog before choosing paint colors), had ductwork replaced and many other things.  But there was always so much more it needed.  I kept thinking no one would want to buy it.  When I finally sold it this year I realized I should have sold it much earlier.  I would give your house a bit of time, and the idea of getting one room just right is excellent. But if you still don't like it next spring, sell it.  Don't pour money into a place you don't want to live in. 

intellectsucks

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2017, 12:13:20 PM »
I hate to recommend a reality show, but I’m going to anyway.  I recently watched “Home To Flip” on Amazon prime and the host bought an old, “English countryside” style home and completely renovated it.  A lot of the things he did might be out of your budget or just too much mental stress for you (he dug down a 30x30 basement so he could finish it and add some extra rooms), but there were a lot of really solid design and presentation choices that transformed the home from a very traditional, stuffy feeling home to something more light and modern.  Most of those were done with painting, lighting and new furnishings/accessories.  Those changes could be done very cheaply.

spartana

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2017, 12:35:42 PM »
I bought a house nine years ago that I loved in some ways ( perfect location, charming from the outside) but it was 85 years old and I began having serious allergy problems after I moved in.  I also realized I hated bumpy plaster, thin glass windows that let every sound in, a leaky attic that let animals in, etc.   I had the floors refinished and painted most rooms (see Maria Killam's blog before choosing paint colors), had ductwork replaced and many other things.  But there was always so much more it needed.  I kept thinking no one would want to buy it.  When I finally sold it this year I realized I should have sold it much earlier.  I would give your house a bit of time, and the idea of getting one room just right is excellent. But if you still don't like it next spring, sell it.  Don't pour money into a place you don't want to live in.
So agree with this. Give it some time and if it doesn't feel right sell. Sell it for enough to cover buying and selling expenses and you'll walk away in.the same position as you started. I also wouldn't put any big money Reno's into it until you know you want to stay there. Just clean, paint, lighting. While I was joking about you having bought the Amityville Horror House the truth is that some houses just feel creepy no matter what you do to them and if you find yourself still creeper out by the house after a few months or a year that feeling may never go away. Its illogical of course but it happens. As a single female who lives alone and looking for a new place (plan to rent for now though) I know a huge old creaky house would feel creepy to me too. Plus it would be way way way way way too much work for me.
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Lmoot

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #19 on: September 13, 2017, 01:30:56 PM »
1) paint bright colors/ white
2) leave window dressings open
3) leave a little lighting on in each area, even if you are not in it
4) work on curb appeal: trim back overgrowth, plenty of outdoor lighting, plants
5) get to know neighbors; it is comforting to know a friendly face is close by
6) do a smudge, bury quartz crystals in the yard, north south east west....or any other ritual that might be healing and meditative.
7) comforting scents in each room
8) modernize if the old factor equals creepy
9) take down walls to combine rooms; less rooms/ open concept might make the house feel less like a hidden chambers fearfest
10) turn one of the rooms (or combined big room) into something associated with positivity....maybe a craft room, gym, dance studio with mirrors lol whatever!
11) If upstairs is creepy, try installing some skylights for natural light.
12) Ask a friend to move in, at least until you are used to it. They can save money, and you'll make a little money, and hopefully some good memories. Have family stay a few nights and use
this as motivation to fix up one of the rooms as a guest room.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2017, 01:34:04 PM by Lmoot »

EricEng

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #20 on: September 14, 2017, 03:49:05 PM »
Replace the old lights with some bright leds that you can leave on without worrying about the cost until you get more comfortable.  Any new empty house can be creepy by yourself if dimly lit.  Replace your outdoor ones as well and hook them to a light sensor so they turn on auto at night.
http://www.homedepot.com/p/EcoSmart-60W-Equivalent-Soft-White-A19-Energy-Star-Dimmable-LED-Light-Bulb-4-Pack-A810SS-Q1D-01/206047134
http://www.bjs.com/sylvania-60w-equivalent-led-a19-lamp-light-bulb-8-pk---soft-white.product.3000000000000377049.item.3000000000000377050?rrec=true

jennifers

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #21 on: September 14, 2017, 07:45:14 PM »
I ordered some new lighting and am also working on painting. Excited to get rid of the bright yellow living room.

Blonde Lawyer

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #22 on: September 15, 2017, 08:14:43 AM »
Was the place staged when you toured it? If so, think about what decor made it look good in your mind and see if you can replicate it with your own stuff or thrifted stuff.  I recently looked at photos of our house when it was on the MLS.  Some of the rooms were staged and look so cool.  Totally different than what we did with the place.  Other rooms (the finished basement in particular) were not staged and look totally creepy.  The way we have it set up those rooms look awesome.  It takes a bit to make it "yours."  Even in my modern house, I was creeped out sleeping in the new bedroom the first few weeks.  You hear all kinds of new sounds.

Cranky

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #23 on: September 15, 2017, 12:56:21 PM »
Ask your friends and relatives who has done work for them - I find that that's a faster way to get someone reliable to do smaller jobs than anything else, and you can get a look at what sort of work they do.

But we're just coming off the summer remodeling season, so I lot of people have been busy, busy, busy.

Maybe hire an actual cleaning service to clean the basement?

But mostly, I agree that it's going to take some time. It's a big change.

AMandM

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #24 on: September 15, 2017, 10:09:25 PM »
If you want some company, but you worry about the long-term compatibility of a housemate/tenant, you could rent some of your extra rooms on Airbnb.

theoverlook

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #25 on: September 18, 2017, 11:53:55 AM »
Clean the heck out of your basement. Don't be afraid of migrating the spiders. They'll just clear out if you keep it clean. Get concrete floor paint and paint the floor - it's a million times easier to keep clean than bare concrete. Then paint the walls with a concrete paint or Drylock - it'll keep it dryer and less moist down there so the spiders are discouraged. Yeah it'll be a few days of painting but it'll make an enormous difference. I did all that getting my first house ready to sell and it made me wish I'd done it when I first moved in. The basement seemed so huge and clean and livable afterwards.

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #26 on: September 26, 2017, 10:09:23 AM »
Another thing to do yourself - clean the windows.  Old windows need regular cleaning because insects can get in between the windows and the storm windows. Clean windows make an incredible difference.

It is amazing what a good floor polish will hide. And you can do it yourself with a rental machine. But if the floors are really yellowed, then refinishing them with the new Bona finishes that don't yellow over time are a great idea.

I have always found the a stranger room mate is superior.  Find a stranger with similar values and you could make a new friend.  Room with a friend and you can end up losing a friend that isn't compatible as a roommate.

I think that it takes time to get used to the sounds, smells and sights of a new place.  Give yourself time to learn the mysteries of your new place through the seasons.  If the kitchen is already fancy - start using it to make some great meals for friends and family.  Have them come over for the night and make a fancy brunch.  Go outside at night to see the stars.  Learn about bats and other night creatures so they aren't scary anymore. 
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Blonde Lawyer

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #27 on: September 27, 2017, 10:05:16 AM »
It's always been so odd to me that we make such a huge purchases like a house after only seeing it for 20 minutes or so on a couple of occasions.  I wonder what a realtor would say if you wanted to camp in the house for a few nights before making a final decision.  You really don't know what you are getting into until you test drive it.  Shower in the shower, etc.  Hear the neighbors at different times.  We only saw our house mid business day.  Our realtor reminded us the street is a lot busier during commuting times and the yards noisier when the kids are home.  She was a good realtor trying to help us find the best fit.  There are lots that are just trying to close a sale.

Pigeon

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #28 on: September 27, 2017, 11:44:06 AM »
It's always been so odd to me that we make such a huge purchases like a house after only seeing it for 20 minutes or so on a couple of occasions.  I wonder what a realtor would say if you wanted to camp in the house for a few nights before making a final decision.  You really don't know what you are getting into until you test drive it.  Shower in the shower, etc.  Hear the neighbors at different times.  We only saw our house mid business day.  Our realtor reminded us the street is a lot busier during commuting times and the yards noisier when the kids are home.  She was a good realtor trying to help us find the best fit.  There are lots that are just trying to close a sale.
Most times, the current owners are living there though.  Not so sure I'd want random people camping out for a few days.

Dicey

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #29 on: September 27, 2017, 11:46:13 AM »
It's always been so odd to me that we make such a huge purchases like a house after only seeing it for 20 minutes or so on a couple of occasions.  I wonder what a realtor would say if you wanted to camp in the house for a few nights before making a final decision.  You really don't know what you are getting into until you test drive it.  Shower in the shower, etc.  Hear the neighbors at different times.  We only saw our house mid business day.  Our realtor reminded us the street is a lot busier during commuting times and the yards noisier when the kids are home.  She was a good realtor trying to help us find the best fit.  There are lots that are just trying to close a sale.
Story the first: There actually was an HGTV show with this premise. Sometimes they bought* after the sleepover, sometimes they didn't. It was post-crash and mostly in CA, if I recall correctly. Could have died because the market is so strong that no one needs to agree to this to sell a house any more.

*Yes, I know, it's reality TV. The ones who "purchased" were probably in escrow when the show was filmed.

Story the second: There's a house around the corner that's for sale for an insanely high price. We toured it because we're RE geeks and every house that sells for a high price in the neighborhood helps the comps for our overbuilt-for-the-area* house. Chatted with the agent, who seemed really sharp. Also noticed a prolific tomato plant out back. Asked (and received) permission to harvest, since the owner has moved away.

We were surprised when there was another Open House the following weekend. I popped in to say "hi" to the agent and check on the tomatoes. Mentioned my surprise at the need for another OH and he introduced me to the another agent whose client was considering making an offer. That agent had questions about the area. The first agent introduced me as a neighbor, which was a risky, but honest, move as the house abuts a busy street. I answered truthfully and tactfully. Yesterday, when I harvested more tomatoes, I noticed a "Pending" sign. I hope the new family will enjoy their lovely, but screamingly expensive home. It should close right after the tomato plant is spent.

*Not by us. We bought it on a short sale because it suits our family's current needs and DH can walk to work.
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Lmoot

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #30 on: September 27, 2017, 01:32:58 PM »
It's always been so odd to me that we make such a huge purchases like a house after only seeing it for 20 minutes or so on a couple of occasions.  I wonder what a realtor would say if you wanted to camp in the house for a few nights before making a final decision.  You really don't know what you are getting into until you test drive it.  Shower in the shower, etc.  Hear the neighbors at different times.  We only saw our house mid business day.  Our realtor reminded us the street is a lot busier during commuting times and the yards noisier when the kids are home.  She was a good realtor trying to help us find the best fit.  There are lots that are just trying to close a sale.

I was lucky and got to interact with my current neighbors before buying my house. That's also why they say you should drive by when it's raining, and around the busy times of day. A lot of people may known the area well enough that they are more focused on the house itself.

I am kind of glad I didn't put too much thought into buying my house, or I could have missed bc of indecision. Yes do your due diligence, but at the end of the day, the goal is to make wherever you are, your home, and chances are you will change it anyway from its original format, to meet your taste and needs, so no reason to put so much pressure on it being all that, straight out the box. Trust me, before I bought my house I wouldn't spend a few hours there for fun, let alone camping out, but I could see the potential in it and it's lived up to that potential and much more. Showers can be replaced, and so can neighbors.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2017, 01:36:37 PM by Lmoot »

Blonde Lawyer

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #31 on: September 27, 2017, 02:55:56 PM »
It's always been so odd to me that we make such a huge purchases like a house after only seeing it for 20 minutes or so on a couple of occasions.  I wonder what a realtor would say if you wanted to camp in the house for a few nights before making a final decision.  You really don't know what you are getting into until you test drive it.  Shower in the shower, etc.  Hear the neighbors at different times.  We only saw our house mid business day.  Our realtor reminded us the street is a lot busier during commuting times and the yards noisier when the kids are home.  She was a good realtor trying to help us find the best fit.  There are lots that are just trying to close a sale.
Most times, the current owners are living there though.  Not so sure I'd want random people camping out for a few days.

True! I forgot about that.  Both times we purchased a home, the prior owners had already moved out.  When we sold the first house, we had already moved out.  The lived in house for sale wasn't on my radar when I made that comment.

Evie

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #32 on: September 28, 2017, 04:06:14 PM »
Give it time.  Our house was disgusting when we bought it. Absolutely revolting. It took time and refinishing it was so disgusting I had my seasoned contractors gagging and I almost didn't want to move in. I think everyone has some moments of regret on every property they buy, but for most people this will pass. 

We've been in our place three years now, and things are much better.  My advice?

1) Recognize the shock of suddenly moving in takes some time to get used to.  Don't panic and do things right away.  Give yourself some time to settle in before you rush into projects.  The exception would be projects that make a lot of mess and need to be done before you move in, but this doesn't seem to be the case for you.

2) Almost all the things we thought we wanted to do when we first moved in (aside from refinishing floors, painting, cleaning and termite tenting/rodent proofing) we were glad we waited to do. We changed our minds on what was a priority, and we also rethought which rooms would be used for what and where we wanted things.  For example, I thought we would replace the bathroom vanity right away. Nope, just repainted it and have been living with it. It will probably get done on our next apartment rental turnover, and we put that money toward installing a dishwasher and washer dryer instead.  We also bought some new furniture that better fit the needs of our space after the first year of living there, but again this would have been totally different if we had rushed in straight away to purchase. 

3) Pick a room or two to live in and make those comfortable. Close the doors to the other rooms and leave them empty or store your boxes there. Do check every so often to make sure things aren't leaking or some problem hasn't arisen, but don't waste money furnishing or trying to heat these rooms. We bought a 3 bedroom one bath duplex with a back unit, and we only used and heated one of the rooms consistently the first year (except when a friend rented out the guest room for a few months).  We left the back unit empty and unrented for almost six months while we got settled and figured out what we wanted to do. We are finally at a point where between the baby on the way and the additional pets and home office we now need and use all three rooms.

4) We had similar small jobs to you.  Don't worry about getting people out right away to do the work. Just start getting estimates.  You will find some trades people you like and trust and if you are flexible you can arrange for them to come back and work on your projects when they are between jobs or during slow periods.  We often did this with plumbers on projects that could wait, and plan to do it with the painters and the AC/heating folks.  You will learn when the busy periods are and when things are slow. If you don't know, ask and call back during the slow periods.

5) Consider bundling jobs.  The deck work may also be able to be done by the flooring people to make a larger job.  We scrapped some of our projects due to their being so small we realized no one wanted to do them for less than $1000+ bucks. Fine, we'll do some of the smaller projects ourselves, skip some, and bundle the rest to a handy man. 

6) Make a list of things you want to do to the house.  Then sit on it. Write them down with budgets and revisit the list every so often.  You will find things change and you will be glad when unexpected repairs come up you didn't spend all your money on projects you later changed your mind on or decided weren't that important afterall.

7) Consider listing a room on Air B n B or a short term rental site.  You can try out having a roommate without having to commit. They will also send out a photographer and you can see what your place would go for.  Depending on your area you can also get foreign students.  You don't have to have a roommate forever, but it's a quick way to bring in some extra cash for home projects, etc. 

8) Get a pest control company to come look at the property. They can deal with the spiders, and give you a consult on any other issues of concern.

 

Tobias

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #33 on: October 01, 2017, 08:59:47 AM »
I am in my 30s and have one roommate, though I used to have three, on a month-to-month agreement.  Roommates can be annoying but then you get a good one who is never home and you want to keep them.  I have had about 12 roommates come through since I bought the house in 2010, and 3 of them were absolutely wonderful, 2 were terrible, and the rest were adequate.  I asked the 2 ba ones to move out, and they did without complaint. Most of the tenant's rights laws in my city don't apply if you are renting a room in someone's house, so if there ever were a legal conflict things would have been in my favor.  Thankfully there never was. 

Cleanliness is an issue, and chore charts never worked, so in hindsight I should have hired a housekeeper and split the cost with everyone.  Not very mustachian but I was the one who cared about the condition of the house, as the owner, and my biggest issue was being the maid for everyone else.

Charging more rent tends to attract higher caliber housemates.  It took us a few years to realize this.

It took us a while to find a good contractor.  The best ones have been through word-of-mouth. 

PizzaSteve

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #34 on: October 01, 2017, 09:43:31 AM »
Research Feng Shui and implement some of the ideas. They are based on some real perceptual concepts.  Our review suggested a chime on the front door, and it is suprisingly welcoming to hear a ticking chime when i arrive home.

I had a friend with monk skills perform a home blessing to exorcise or satisfy/pacify any jealous ghosts.  It seems to have worked...couldnt hurt.
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Aimza

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #35 on: October 11, 2017, 11:50:14 AM »
Get an exterminator if you hate the spiders in the basement. When I bought my 100 year old house last year, I had a ton of spider crickets in the basement. I'll take spiders over the spider crickets any day. However, I got an exterminator in twice in the past year and if I see one of those suckers a month now, that's a lot.

Sounds like a lot of your house is easy to fix and make exactly how you'll want it. It just takes time.

PS I bought my house for my dogs as well!

aasdfadsf

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #36 on: October 12, 2017, 01:22:53 PM »
It's not unusual for a house that you just moved into to seem scary at first. This has happened with me with every new place I've moved to, and I'm not someone who is easily disturbed. A new abode just feels freaky at first. It feels like someone else is living there. But you'll get used to it and it will feel like home before too long.

BAMxi

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #37 on: October 12, 2017, 02:27:31 PM »
Kind of going through this right now, though we are quickly on the upswing now. We closed on our house in June and it's a bit of a fixer. It was built in the 70s but had had no updates beyond maintenance items throughout the years. We immediately had a contractor come in and tear out a load bearing wall. We ripped up carpet, pulled off wallpaper, painted, put all new flooring down, all new appliances, etc. I thought having all that big stuff done would be enough but when we moved in, I keep seeing all the small things that still need done. I've struggled with a combination of a lack of time and overconfidence in my ability to know how to fix many things the right way quickly. I have learned a lot of good skills and bought a ton of tools, which I think are both great things though. I am definitely a perfectionist and am generally good at picking things up first try. That has not really carried over to most carpentry related efforts, but it helps me to remember that people have entire businesses because they get so good at doing this, and it often takes them 10 or 20 years to get to that point. So me just jumping right in and eventually getting stuff figured out is fine. Most recently, I built a side panel and countertop for our dishwasher, as the previous owners had a portable dishwasher on wheels just sitting at the end of the counter. I cursed a lot when my measurements were off and I ended up redoing it after I thought I was done. That being said, after it was all done, I am pretty impressed with the results and I love that I was able to do it myself. It definitely gave me the confidence to keep going with our kitchen update and made a huge difference. In fact, immediately after, my wife loved not having the dishwasher just sitting around unattached so much that she finished up putting down contact paper and getting all of our kitchen items put away. It often takes you doing one small thing at a time to add up to something big. Just stick with it and take small wins where you can. Those small wins will build you up for the bigger ones down the road.

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #38 on: October 18, 2017, 01:35:31 PM »
Holding a party is a great way to feel more settled in a house - housewarmings have a purpose beyond what you know.

Holy crap, you totally changed my perspective on a topic. I used to think housewarming parties were nothing more than a keeping up with the Jones, one up game people played to humble brag. Having purchased a house a few years ago and opting to skip the house warming party, this hits home. Establishing good memories and associations early on really is important but for some reason I never realized it.

BlueHouse

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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #39 on: October 18, 2017, 02:51:32 PM »
Post some pictures and we'll give you very detailed, practical advice. 

Congratulations on your new house.  To me, everything you've described sounds adorable and exciting.  I hope you find your juju there!
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Re: I don't like the house I bought ughhhhhhhhhhhh
« Reply #40 on: October 19, 2017, 11:20:04 PM »
OTOH, there's something to be said for getting to know a house before you start making it over. A lot of people do things right away and then wish they'd waited. The luxury of time can allow you the chance to figure out less expensive ways to source materials and/or do things more cost effectively.

This is good advice that I have rarely taken. I like to make reasonably priced, timely updates, enjoy them while I live there, then sell the place with "Newer Y" and "Updated Z". I think it's kinda sad when people live for years with things they don't like, then spend a bunch of money updating them right before selling. Fresh paint and flooring goes a long way. Enjoy it while you're living there. That's also a reason not to over buy, so you're not so strapped you can't afford to paint a bathroom or replace worn out carpet.

How's that for an all-over-the-place answer?"Give it time" is great advice.
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