I've worked in water conservation and am compiling my list of the best available stuff on the market (as in most efficient).
General tips:
Reducing water usage, and its associated financial and environmental costs, requires good stuff and good practices. Be conscious of your usage for a couple weeks to find your inefficiencies. Repair any leaks you may have. If you have an older toilet used frequently that is leaking, replace it. Now to my list.
Toilets:
Niagara Stealth. They have a new dual flush unit which is supposed to average out to 0.8 gallons per flush. I have two regular Stealths and they are very good toilets.
Sloan Flushmate 1.0 gallons per flush. Various manufacturers use Sloan Flushmate internals. These are excellent toilets, but do use more water than the Niagaras.
Showerheads:
I use Bricor models. The handheld and Ultramax (the lowest flow on the market). My wife doesn't care for the Ultramax, but has long hair and is fine with the handheld. Guests use it without comment.
Alternatively, Niagara makes adjustable flow showerheads. Shutoff valves are available and easy to install.
There are a whole lot of very good performing showerheads at 1.5 gpm. I do not suggest higher than this flowrate.
Faucets:
Most faucets work with universal aerators. For the bathroom, I have Bricor 0.375 gpm aerators. They work great, but are kind of loud. There are 0.35 gpm aerators made by other manufacturers, but I've not been satisfied with them. Most 0.5 gpm aerators I've usedwork fine.
I recommend the Niagara Trimax aerator for the kitchen. It can flow at 0.5/1.0/1.5 gallons per minute. If you don't want this, aim for a 1.5 to 1.8 gpm aerator.
Appliances:
Washing machines. Buy a CEE Tier 3 machine. Most stores are now labeling these.
http://www.cee1.org/content/cee-program-resourcesDishwashers. Buy a quality Energy Star dishwasher. They are used so infrequently and use so little water that we are getting to diminishing returns. Energy Star does rate their most efficient yearly:
https://www.energystar.gov/index.cfm?c=most_efficient.me_indexI hope this list helps. I know some people struggle with the replace just use more efficiently issue. I believe it is worth it to replace your showerheads and aerators now. If you have an older, good performing dishwasher, don't repair it when it breaks. If you have an ancient top loading washing machine and use hot or warm water, replace it immediately. If you live in a water-stressed place and use cold water, consider doing the right thing and getting something more efficient (ensure the old one is scrapped).
Check with your water utility to see if rebate programs are available for any of the above.