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Diane C, thanks for great response. Here are my thoughts on your comments:
1. Agree with not paying the mortgage off. I show the numbers that way though to calculate a 4.5 % withdrawal rate as if I did.
2. We currently have 2 cars that are fully paid for. They were newer models, bought used. Currently worth about $18k each.
3. I am sure my wife could earn more money, but she works at our church 20 hours per week and finds it very rewarding doing something that helps others, so we don't want to change that.
4. Yes, I think the family will be on board with reducing spending a bit as long as its not too extreme.
5. I think I will be happy with RE. I suspect that after several weeks off, I will get re-energized and look for a new challenge.
6. Love the idea of seeking work at a university. I would feel wrong about seeking low income based financial aid if I am capable of working and simply choose not to.
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I think that may be your biggest challenge - getting your family on-board. and frankly , right now you are carrying all of the load and obviously want out of high pressure, high stress type environment.
the assumptions that make no sense to me
a) kids are entitled to their luxury and somehow you need their buy in for any cuts in spending. if they want luxuries , they can work for it.
b) wife is entitled to her church hobby job.
now, you may _chose_ to offer and support it, but only if it does not go against your dreams, destroy your heath, and otherwise does not kill you. for anything else, wife needs to step up in the partnership, and kids will and can adjust easily.
from a first gen immigrant growing up in a family of 5 in 350 fq feet apartment and leaving on less then a dollar a day for a while...