Author Topic: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?  (Read 11938 times)

LifePhaseTwo

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #50 on: November 27, 2018, 09:55:24 AM »
I prefer to do any shopping in physical shops on Friday, as Saturday will be much more crowded.

I went to the grocery store on a Saturday by accident last week.  It was horrendous.  How did I ever put up with that?

It's much better at 10am on a weekday.  Just me and a bunch of gray-hairs, plus the occasional stay at home parent with young children in tow.

Agree. The other thing I wonder how I put up with is rush hour traffic - accidentally got stuck in it yesterday and was surprised at how low my tolerance has already gotten for sitting in traffic!

Much Fishing to Do

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #51 on: November 27, 2018, 11:55:55 AM »
I didn't quite realize how much my life had become a dichotomy of doing for work and doing for family, with 0.1% leftover for self-improvement/enjoyment time....the 0.1% which of course could be completely and enjoyably filled just with going out for dinner or taking a walk.  Now that I am slowly transitioning from FI to FIRE I realize all the things I had once thought of as my interests/hobbies/etc are all things from 20 years ago, before the job and family consumed it all.  I wouldn't at all say I'm afraid of being bored....I just don't know which interests to tackle first that I never considered doing for lack of time. 

Omy

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #52 on: November 27, 2018, 12:26:22 PM »

Less frugal? This happened to us, too!  We spent so much time frugally saving our hard earned money,  that now we've got some distinctly spendy pants traits.  But, at heart, we are mustachians through and through.  I might spend more, but I still shop for a bargain while doing it.

Agreed. Eating out is done in a mustachian way (assuming that's possible) - coupons or boxing up half our meals for leftovers, going to restaurants on "special" nights, etc. I still rarely shop for stuff...but when I do, I try to make sure I'm getting a deal. I'm much more likely to spend money on an experience than stuff (but use Groupon to save a few bucks). I'm more generous with my money now as well - more charitable giving and more hosting get togethers at our house.

JoJoP

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #53 on: November 27, 2018, 04:19:51 PM »
When I'm in traffic and someone is driving badly, I actually feel sorry for them.  Imagine spending all that frustrating time in a traffic jam.  The poor blokes deserve sympathy, not the bird. 

MasterStache

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #54 on: November 28, 2018, 05:03:51 AM »
Another unexpected result:  I now love Mondays.

When I was working, Fridays were great and Mondays were a challenge.  I looked forward to a relaxing weekend at home with the family.

But now that I'm retired, it's the weekends that are stressful.  So much family stuff to do!  Places to go.  Homework to check, birthday parties, swim lessons, scouts, it's just craziness.  Monday mornings are a welcome respite, a chance to finally lie on the couch and just relax without anyone shouting at me.  No obligations.  I have all day to get around to the things I want to do.  The house is clean and finally stays clean.  It's great.

Absolutely this. My kids just had a 5 day weekend and I was looking forward to Monday when they head back to school. I actually took off Sunday for a 5 mile hike not worried that I had a bunch of stuff to get done. I knew it would be easier to do it during the week when I was by myself.

FIREby35

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #55 on: November 28, 2018, 06:57:55 AM »
Another unexpected result:  I now love Mondays.

When I was working, Fridays were great and Mondays were a challenge.  I looked forward to a relaxing weekend at home with the family.

But now that I'm retired, it's the weekends that are stressful.  So much family stuff to do!  Places to go.  Homework to check, birthday parties, swim lessons, scouts, it's just craziness.  Monday mornings are a welcome respite, a chance to finally lie on the couch and just relax without anyone shouting at me.  No obligations.  I have all day to get around to the things I want to do.  The house is clean and finally stays clean.  It's great.

Absolutely this. My kids just had a 5 day weekend and I was looking forward to Monday when they head back to school. I actually took off Sunday for a 5 mile hike not worried that I had a bunch of stuff to get done. I knew it would be easier to do it during the week when I was by myself.

Now that I am FI, I work a lot less. Also, my wife is an accountant and works in our own business and works less than half-time. So, we have two adults working 40 (or less) and 15 hours a week. I also take the last Friday of every month off of work. 12 extra three-day weekends in a year means more opportunities to experience what you are talking about. More time on the weekends changes your head space. I often try to think how my peers (young families) feel with two people working 40+ hours a week, picking up kids, commuting 30 minutes each way, etcetera. I can't imagine they feel good.

Anyway, I am chiming in to concur. More free time to accomplish the everyday stuff without having to cram it into tiny windows of opportunity between work, school, kids is awesome. Much better than having a bigger house, newer car, brand name clothes and restaurant meals.

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #56 on: November 28, 2018, 11:35:16 AM »
But now that I'm retired, it's the weekends that are stressful.  So much family stuff to do!  Places to go.  Homework to check, birthday parties, swim lessons, scouts, it's just craziness.  Monday mornings are a welcome respite, a chance to finally lie on the couch and just relax without anyone shouting at me.  No obligations.  I have all day to get around to the things I want to do.  The house is clean and finally stays clean.  It's great.
+1. Exactly! And now my Sunday nights are relaxed, no more dreading Mondays.
I cannot wait to get rid of the sunday afternoon anxiety! I want to love Mondays too! Unfortunately, I am quite a few years away :(
Another thought, if weekends are so draining when you're retired, what does that say about how much rest and recovery time working stiffs are actually getting on the weekends?  A lot of working folks are doing the same amount of stuff on their weekends that are theoretically time to rest up for the work week ahead.

I've been thinking about this statement, and as a working stiff I'm very intrigued.  I'd be interested to hear from more RE people on if they feel weekends are as equally restful as they were when working, but now they have a new frame of reference of what 'restful' really means because now the weekdays are TRULY restful, and they now realize weekends never really were all along.

If that's the case, that's one more reason I'll be looking forward to FIREing.

sol

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #57 on: November 28, 2018, 12:52:58 PM »
I'd be interested to hear from more RE people on if they feel weekends are as equally restful as they were when working, but now they have a new frame of reference of what 'restful' really means because now the weekdays are TRULY restful, and they now realize weekends never really were all along.

It's hard to say for sure, but they certainly don't feel as restful as they used to compared to my week.  My weeks are super laid back now, though.

Part of the difference is that I now have a lot more time and energy to devote to my family voluntarily.  I like to cook, and now I get to make dinner for everyone every night and that is more work than it used to be when I could microwave mac and cheese with hot dogs in it or just order a pizza.  I still get to plan specific activities with the family on the weekends, but that part is pretty much the same as it was before except now a weekend activity doesn't mean my lawn doesn't mowed and the grocery shopping doesn't get done until next week.  Like my family activity time is maybe a little bit more time consuming than it used to be, but all of the random household maintenance stuff that used to get shoehorned in around the edges now gets scheduled at regular times that are more convenient.  Things like taking this kids for allergist or orthodontist visits, for example, no longer mean that my entire day is effectively shot.  I no longer do grocery shopping at 10pm.  My tires needed changing so I just went and changed them, instead of looking at my calendar to find a free day some time in the next month.

As a side effect, I get more sleep now.  I'm also a lot more tolerant of things like bad traffic and long lines, because I'm not constantly rushing through whatever I'm doing.  I can wait, I have time!  Are you a super impatient bad driver who insists on making illegal left turns in front of me?  Go right ahead, I'm sorry your life is so shitty today.  I'll wait until you're done.

Even in cases where I have deliberately introduced more work into my retired life, like cooking family dinners, I'm not bothered.  I do that voluntarily, because it's how I want to be spending my time.  Yes it would be less stressful to just take the kids to McDonalds, but that always felt like a parenting failure on days when it seemed necessary.

MasterStache

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #58 on: November 28, 2018, 04:45:41 PM »
As a side effect, I get more sleep now.  I'm also a lot more tolerant of things like bad traffic and long lines, because I'm not constantly rushing through whatever I'm doing.  I can wait, I have time!  Are you a super impatient bad driver who insists on making illegal left turns in front of me?  Go right ahead, I'm sorry your life is so shitty today.  I'll wait until you're done.

This is an excellent point as well. I mean I always got pretty good sleep. I found out long ago I function very poorly on anything less than 8 hours. But I have become much more patient now. I routinely let people in front of me at the grocery who might only have a few items, because hey it's the middle of a Tuesday and I'm in no rush. I've put over 200 miles on my E-bike this year transporting my daughter to gymnastics. With a full time job I would have been crunched for time and likely too worn out to bother with the bike.

I have a physical therapy appointment schedule for late morning tomorrow. Something that would have stressed me out trying to fit it in after a full 8 hour day and having to get a child off to some activity.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2018, 04:47:32 PM by MasterStache »

elaine amj

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #59 on: November 28, 2018, 10:13:52 PM »
I just resigned so FIRE is new to me. But we have both been home together on leave for quite some time now.

Honestly, I have been shocked at how busy we are! So many errands and little things to do. My current theory is work expands to fill in the available time. I do cook, but still haven't gotten to the point of more elaborate meals regularly. I still cook from scratch a lot but have defaulted lately to simpler meals.

Another surprising thing is how busy teens are. Half my day is taken up driving my DS16 to and from his co-op job, supervising his homework and teaching him organization skills (recently diagnosed with ADHD), and then whatever DD17 needs (lately that is a lot of college open houses and endless career discussions).

How on earth did we manage when we worked?!

One completely unsurprising thing is just how much I enjoy sleeping in :) I think I worled so hard to FIRE primarily because I hate getting up early lol.

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FIREby35

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #60 on: November 29, 2018, 07:00:50 AM »
I guess maybe I was RE all along, because it didn't really change anything for my family. We pretty much do the same fun stuff whenever we want to, I still do a little (20 hours/week) work because I enjoy it, etc. We still have the same craptacular 15 year old Kia that mostly just sits in the driveway. We still don't have a TV or a modern computer.

I guess I no longer pay much attention to paying $12 to do drop-in hockey or other minor things like that. But my wife still tracks all our spending because she's a nerd.

My track wasn't really normal, though, in that I was always (after grad school, anyway) self-employed. So I've never worked a 9-5 job in a cubicle. I'm sure things would be much different if that was the case.

It's funny in a way, because I spent a lot of mental energy on the FIRE quest over the years and now I've realized it was mostly wasted stress since it didn't really change my life much.

-W

That is true for me as well. For many (like me), I think the FIRE thing is really about our own lack of a sense of security that gets funneled into some people's (my) relationship with money. I really could have had the same attitude my entire life. I realized that before I got to a "magic number." As I came to better understand that reality, I was able to drop the "FIRE" goal and be happy with being debt free with massive savings, control of my earning, work conditions and time.
« Last Edit: November 29, 2018, 07:05:42 AM by FIREby35 »

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #61 on: November 29, 2018, 10:22:01 AM »
-snip-
One completely unsurprising thing is just how much I enjoy sleeping in :) I think I worled so hard to FIRE primarily because I hate getting up early lol.

I was just the opposite.  Once I went FIRE, I started getting up naturally with the sun or even earlier.  With nothing to dread, I look forward to the day and morning now.  I do find I enjoy an afternoon nap especially if it is cold or rainy out.

meteor

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #62 on: November 29, 2018, 06:00:59 PM »
I stopped responding to coupons.

waltworks

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #63 on: November 30, 2018, 03:09:34 PM »
That is true for me as well. For many (like me), I think the FIRE thing is really about our own lack of a sense of security that gets funneled into some people's (my) relationship with money. I really could have had the same attitude my entire life. I realized that before I got to a "magic number." As I came to better understand that reality, I was able to drop the "FIRE" goal and be happy with being debt free with massive savings, control of my earning, work conditions and time.

I could have stopped working completely, but I realized I *already* ride my mountain bike, rock climb, tutor kids who can't read for shit, go to musicals, play hockey, go on vacation whenever I want, etc as much as I want to. Since I like what I do, I just do it a bit less and don't stress too much about it.

My wife and I have discussed fostering or adopting more kids, which wasn't as much in play before FI, so I guess that's a meaningful change. But due to my MIL moving in with us, that plan has been pushed back a bit.

-W

kork

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #64 on: November 30, 2018, 04:49:00 PM »
I suffer both from anxiety (GAD) along with bouts of depression. Been that way since I was born.  The closer we get to FI, the less anxiety and depression affect my day to day behaviour.  Currently,  we have enough in savings to go 2 years with no income and then our investments can provide a decent passive income.  With my wife working and investment passive income, we can be fine for now until retirement.

That realization allows me to accept daily stress at work with an FU attitude and in turn, makes it much more bearable.  I enjoy my job much more when I donít need my job!


FRT15

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #65 on: November 30, 2018, 07:35:52 PM »
I am at an FI level but continue at megacorp since I am not sure how I would spend my time if I were to leave and also I hope to be married, children someday so it would feel hard to leave with that unknown. 

I have found that a promotion or raise isn't too motivating to me know so I tend to put in the least time and focus on things outside of work.  Im not sure if this is a common feeling or an indication I should make a work change.  I don't want to be this complacent but don't have the hunger to compete for promotions.  I'm 36.   Anyone else with similar experiences?

deepakbh899

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #66 on: November 30, 2018, 07:45:28 PM »
I am with you.
I am at an FI level but continue at megacorp since I am not sure how I would spend my time if I were to leave and also I hope to be married, children someday so it would feel hard to leave with that unknown. 

I have found that a promotion or raise isn't too motivating to me know so I tend to put in the least time and focus on things outside of work.  Im not sure if this is a common feeling or an indication I should make a work change.  I don't want to be this complacent but don't have the hunger to compete for promotions.  I'm 36.   Anyone else with similar experiences?

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RyanAtTanagra

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #67 on: November 30, 2018, 08:02:47 PM »
I am at an FI level but continue at megacorp since I am not sure how I would spend my time if I were to leave and also I hope to be married, children someday so it would feel hard to leave with that unknown. 

I have found that a promotion or raise isn't too motivating to me know so I tend to put in the least time and focus on things outside of work.  Im not sure if this is a common feeling or an indication I should make a work change.  I don't want to be this complacent but don't have the hunger to compete for promotions.  I'm 36.   Anyone else with similar experiences?

What you could do... and I say this because it's where I'm at... is find a smaller company that's small enough to not have any upward mobility, but has really good work/life balance and is pleasant/stress free.  If I had a desire to move up I'd have to find a new job to do so, but since I don't care, I like not having to either climb the ladder, or get weird looks for not trying to climb, because there is no ladder to climb.  Lots of benefits to a good small company if you don't care about moving up (which is usually the biggest drawback to them).

Linda_Norway

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #68 on: December 01, 2018, 07:39:36 AM »
I am at an FI level but continue at megacorp since I am not sure how I would spend my time if I were to leave and also I hope to be married, children someday so it would feel hard to leave with that unknown. 

I have found that a promotion or raise isn't too motivating to me know so I tend to put in the least time and focus on things outside of work.  Im not sure if this is a common feeling or an indication I should make a work change.  I don't want to be this complacent but don't have the hunger to compete for promotions.  I'm 36.   Anyone else with similar experiences?

It is very natural not to be motivated by raises. But if you don't get them for some years, you will end up with an income far under your market rate. If you are still in the accumulating phase, this might matter. If you are just cruising your way towards FIRE and want to work at a low stess level, then it might be worth it.

FIREby35

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #69 on: December 01, 2018, 08:52:21 AM »
That is true for me as well. For many (like me), I think the FIRE thing is really about our own lack of a sense of security that gets funneled into some people's (my) relationship with money. I really could have had the same attitude my entire life. I realized that before I got to a "magic number." As I came to better understand that reality, I was able to drop the "FIRE" goal and be happy with being debt free with massive savings, control of my earning, work conditions and time.

I could have stopped working completely, but I realized I *already* ride my mountain bike, rock climb, tutor kids who can't read for shit, go to musicals, play hockey, go on vacation whenever I want, etc as much as I want to. Since I like what I do, I just do it a bit less and don't stress too much about it.

My wife and I have discussed fostering or adopting more kids, which wasn't as much in play before FI, so I guess that's a meaningful change. But due to my MIL moving in with us, that plan has been pushed back a bit.

-W

It's why the idea of "RE" is attacked by the "outsiders." We "insiders" should also remember that quitting work is one path that is open to those who choose it. It seems to be most popular with people living in corporate or government jobs where due to the large, complex nature of their organization they can not really exert control over their work conditions.

A second path is creating a work situation that is completely on the terms of the person who is FI. Those terms can literally be anything and discovering the correct balance is a process that plays out over time. In entrepreneurial situations, small business situations or many other random possibilities, it is possible to find the power to create your own work conditions that can be flexible, dynamic, and constantly bent to the creative vision for an individual's use of their own time. If someone creates that kind of work situation there is no need for "RE."

It seems to me that people who "drop out" of the corporate/government types of situations sometimes struggle with their newfound freedom because they are not used to exercising their creative powers. If their frugality muscles are strong, their individual decision making/creative powers are, sometimes, atrophied - because they were not valued in their work situation. As has been noted here by other posters, sometimes those ideas/tendencies are actively discouraged/suppressed by co-workers and supervisors.

On the other hand, a person who flexed their frugality and creative powers simultaneously can end up in a "better" position - if only they can realize it! It took me longer than it should have to have that epiphany, let go of the RE idea and simply enjoy and be grateful for my good fortune.

FRT15

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #70 on: December 01, 2018, 06:49:35 PM »
I appreciate the thoughts.  The small company route is something I hadn't thought about but makes sense.  Really I think I need to create some goals (working and personal) which will give me something to work towards and perhaps things will become clear.   Taking action hasn't been my strength.

Monkey Uncle

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #71 on: December 02, 2018, 04:25:02 AM »
That is true for me as well. For many (like me), I think the FIRE thing is really about our own lack of a sense of security that gets funneled into some people's (my) relationship with money. I really could have had the same attitude my entire life. I realized that before I got to a "magic number." As I came to better understand that reality, I was able to drop the "FIRE" goal and be happy with being debt free with massive savings, control of my earning, work conditions and time.

I could have stopped working completely, but I realized I *already* ride my mountain bike, rock climb, tutor kids who can't read for shit, go to musicals, play hockey, go on vacation whenever I want, etc as much as I want to. Since I like what I do, I just do it a bit less and don't stress too much about it.

My wife and I have discussed fostering or adopting more kids, which wasn't as much in play before FI, so I guess that's a meaningful change. But due to my MIL moving in with us, that plan has been pushed back a bit.

-W

It's why the idea of "RE" is attacked by the "outsiders." We "insiders" should also remember that quitting work is one path that is open to those who choose it. It seems to be most popular with people living in corporate or government jobs where due to the large, complex nature of their organization they can not really exert control over their work conditions.

A second path is creating a work situation that is completely on the terms of the person who is FI. Those terms can literally be anything and discovering the correct balance is a process that plays out over time. In entrepreneurial situations, small business situations or many other random possibilities, it is possible to find the power to create your own work conditions that can be flexible, dynamic, and constantly bent to the creative vision for an individual's use of their own time. If someone creates that kind of work situation there is no need for "RE."


I think it has at least as much to do with the individual's temperament as it does the type of workplace.  My main motivation for FIREing was to be truly free to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without any obligations to bosses, colleagues, customers, etc.  In an entrepreneurial situation, a person is going to be compelled to put in a lot of hours to keep customers satisfied and keep the business going.  My general sense is that people in small company environments are putting in way more time than people who put in their 40 in the corporate or government cubicle.  And even if you are passionate about whatever it is the company does, you're still going to be spending the bulk of your time doing compulsory tasks that, in and of themselves, are not really things you would choose to do if your time was totally yours to control.  I had had enough of time pressure stress, so I knew this path was not for me.

But some folks don't do well with a lot of unstructured, solitary time on their hands, and I totally get that they would prefer the small company work situation over FIREing and then trying to figure out what they are going to do with themselves.  To each his own.

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It seems to me that people who "drop out" of the corporate/government types of situations sometimes struggle with their newfound freedom because they are not used to exercising their creative powers. If their frugality muscles are strong, their individual decision making/creative powers are, sometimes, atrophied - because they were not valued in their work situation. As has been noted here by other posters, sometimes those ideas/tendencies are actively discouraged/suppressed by co-workers and supervisors.

On the other hand, a person who flexed their frugality and creative powers simultaneously can end up in a "better" position - if only they can realize it! It took me longer than it should have to have that epiphany, let go of the RE idea and simply enjoy and be grateful for my good fortune.

As a former government employee, this was not my experience at all.  Although the big bosses didn't like it when I pointed out the emperor's nakedness, in other respects I had to exercise a high degree of creativity on a daily basis.  We were constantly bombarded with way too much to do, not enough resources to do it, and an almost daily stream of shifting priorities and emergencies.  We were expected to develop creative solutions to all of this with very little assistance and guidance from above.  In fact, this expectation of working miracles on a daily basis is one of the big things that burned me out and prompted me to FIRE.  I have not struggled at all with my newfound freedom - I've exulted in every minute of it, even during the occasional boring lull.

FIREby35

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #72 on: December 02, 2018, 07:40:51 AM »
You know @Monkey Uncle, I think you are right. Those generalizations about the character of the employment are too broad. Like you said, government work can be creative and some small business/entrepreneur types never exercise their power to create their ideal work conditions. I actually just gave a talk to a group of solo attorneys about how they can organize themselves to have more freedom. So I should have been able to see my mistake earlier!

Since we are talking about post-fire discoveries or, maybe, post FI discoveries. Maybe the idea could be modified to simply be that people who RE and find themselves with a lot of time on their hands do have to begin creating their new reality. I guess for me, the post FI discovery was about how much freedom there really is and that I do affirmatively choose to keep working - but only under certain conditions. That realization is what forced me to think creatively about exactly what conditions those are and what I want my life to be like. Pre-FI, I was just being frugal and earning money and that was good enough. I think the post-FI/RE struggles for many people revolve around this issue and those who have not had the freedom to create their own time schedule - in whatever their job - have to learn how in order to successfully navigate RE.

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #73 on: December 10, 2018, 07:05:23 AM »
For reference, I achieved FI and became semi-retired in March, 2017.  My unexpected results are listed below, in no particular order:

  • I basically stopped frequenting the MMM forums
  • I spent way less time monitoring and optimizing expenses and investments
  • I found that most people are not openly curious about my semi-retired lifestyle, despite the fact that I am 32 years old.  If they wonder, it seems that most people have inhibitions against asking about my finances.
  • It is surprisingly hard to meet other people, who have a similar lifestyle.

Dicey

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #74 on: December 10, 2018, 07:32:01 AM »
For reference, I achieved FI and became semi-retired in March, 2017.  My unexpected results are listed below, in no particular order:

  • I basically stopped frequenting the MMM forums
  • I spent way less time monitoring and optimizing expenses and investments
  • I found that most people are not openly curious about my semi-retired lifestyle, despite the fact that I am 32 years old.  If they wonder, it seems that most people have inhibitions against asking about my finances.
  • It is surprisingly hard to meet other people, who have a similar lifestyle.
1. I still hang around because I want to help others get to FIRE. I found the journey to FIRE to be damn lonesome,
    because places like this didn't exist until I was almost to my goals. Also because DH still works and his mom and her
    pal, Al Z. Heimer, live with us. It's great to be able to hang with like-minded people, any time of day or night.
2. Me too, which is so nice after all these years of optimizing every penny.
3. I have found the same to be true. People don't care that much. If you keep quiet about it, they tend not to ask, which is
    fine by me.
4. This is totally to be expected, especially because you are so young. Some suggestions are to volunteer for things that
    happen during the work day, because all the volunteers will have similar availability. It's a great way to get to know
    people casually so you can decide it you want to befriend them. I volunteer at the library and the theater. They
    have a hard time finding volunteers for the school shows on weekday mornings, so I'm part of a regular cadre who do
    those and it's always fun.

ETA: Sorry about the wonky spacing. I just tried to fix it, but in Preveiw, it looks fine.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2018, 05:15:34 AM by Dicey »

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #75 on: December 10, 2018, 09:12:40 AM »
Some suggestions are to volunteer for things that
    happen during the work day, because all the volunteers will have similar availability. It's a great way to get to know
    people casually so you can decide it you want to befriend them. I volunteer at the library and the theater. They
    have a hard time finding volunteers for the school shows on weekday mornings, so I'm part of a regular cadre who do
    those and it's always fun.

Thanks for the suggestions!

elaine amj

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #76 on: December 12, 2018, 10:02:53 AM »


I volunteer at the library and the theater. They
    have a hard time finding volunteers for the school shows on weekday mornings, so I'm part of a regular cadre who do
    those and it's always fun.


I like the idea of daytime volunteeting at the theatre. I love shows but not enough to pay for them so getting to watch for free would be well worth it for me.

Sent from my LG-K373 using Tapatalk


Candace

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #77 on: December 12, 2018, 10:09:31 AM »
I gained weight. That's my most unexpected result.

I expected to lose weight, because I'm no longer at the office where there was always a bowl of candy and often a bunch of muffins or cookies, especially at the holidays. But I gained weight instead, even though I don't keep that stuff at home.

I didn't think I would eat more at home, but apparently I am. I increased my structured exercising as well, but apparently not enough to offset the increased food intake. And I didn't think I moved around that much by going to work as a cubicle dweller, but apparently the amount of walking to and from the car and the ladies' room was enough to make a difference.

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #78 on: December 12, 2018, 10:15:12 PM »
I gained weight. That's my most unexpected result.

I expected to lose weight, because I'm no longer at the office where there was always a bowl of candy and often a bunch of muffins or cookies, especially at the holidays. But I gained weight instead, even though I don't keep that stuff at home.

I didn't think I would eat more at home, but apparently I am. I increased my structured exercising as well, but apparently not enough to offset the increased food intake. And I didn't think I moved around that much by going to work as a cubicle dweller, but apparently the amount of walking to and from the car and the ladies' room was enough to make a difference.

I too have already noticed a couple of extra pounds creep on since I FIREd 5 weeks ago. Iíve been snacking more during the day than I did at the office...Iíve treated this 5 weeks like a vacation, but now I need to put more effort into my eating habits and getting more active.

Linda_Norway

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #79 on: December 13, 2018, 12:58:52 AM »

I gained weight. That's my most unexpected result.

I expected to lose weight, because I'm no longer at the office where there was always a bowl of candy and often a bunch of muffins or cookies, especially at the holidays. But I gained weight instead, even though I don't keep that stuff at home.

I didn't think I would eat more at home, but apparently I am. I increased my structured exercising as well, but apparently not enough to offset the increased food intake. And I didn't think I moved around that much by going to work as a cubicle dweller, but apparently the amount of walking to and from the car and the ladies' room was enough to make a difference.


Could it be that you as a working person had a fair amount of stress in your life? Maybe that gave you a higher  metabolism than you have now.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2018, 01:48:45 PM by Linda_Norway »

mrmoonymartian

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #80 on: December 13, 2018, 01:40:04 AM »
I gained weight. That's my most unexpected result.

I expected to lose weight, because I'm no longer at the office where there was always a bowl of candy and often a bunch of muffins or cookies, especially at the holidays. But I gained weight instead, even though I don't keep that stuff at home.

I didn't think I would eat more at home, but apparently I am. I increased my structured exercising as well, but apparently not enough to offset the increased food intake. And I didn't think I moved around that much by going to work as a cubicle dweller, but apparently the amount of walking to and from the car and the ladies' room was enough to make a difference.
I'm a cubicle dweller and most days my head gets noticeably hotter than the rest of me because of concentrating as hard as I can for 8 hours straight. There is a reason the brain uses more energy than any other organ in the body.

dougules

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #81 on: December 17, 2018, 11:41:29 AM »
I gained weight. That's my most unexpected result.

I expected to lose weight, because I'm no longer at the office where there was always a bowl of candy and often a bunch of muffins or cookies, especially at the holidays. But I gained weight instead, even though I don't keep that stuff at home.

I didn't think I would eat more at home, but apparently I am. I increased my structured exercising as well, but apparently not enough to offset the increased food intake. And I didn't think I moved around that much by going to work as a cubicle dweller, but apparently the amount of walking to and from the car and the ladies' room was enough to make a difference.

I too have already noticed a couple of extra pounds creep on since I FIREd 5 weeks ago. Iíve been snacking more during the day than I did at the office...Iíve treated this 5 weeks like a vacation, but now I need to put more effort into my eating habits and getting more active.

Me and DH predict that we will gain a bunch of weight the first year we're out then be in great shape after decompression.  Does anybody that's been FIREd a while have any experience with that one way or the other?

deborah

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #82 on: December 17, 2018, 12:01:06 PM »
I didnít gain weight when I FIREd, or if I did, I lost it.

Jon_Snow

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #83 on: December 17, 2018, 12:24:04 PM »
"FI" didn't change much for me. But when I added the "RE" part....then shit got real.

FIRE surprises include not only the extent to which I could improve my fitness, but probably more importantly, the SUSTAINABILITY. There have been blips or regressions in the past 4 years - usually the second half of Summer, and predictably, the Holiday Season - but largely, the immense personal satisfaction of a body that feels and performs excellently is more than ample to provide the discipline to keep it up.

Another one which has caught me off guard (but also delighted) has been my growing desire to find and form my human tribe. Oh, how this forum has been an integral tool in this quest. This is a journey I am excited to keep exploring.

Also....absolutely stunned at how my "May as well give this a try once I have all this time" attitude towards vegetable gardening has morphed into "My relationship with my land and appreciation of Nature will NEVER be the same again".

I probably worked 5 years beyond the point I was "FI"...and my misery was everpresent. For some, and this includes me....RE IS THE THING.

Metta

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #84 on: December 17, 2018, 01:59:04 PM »
I gained weight. That's my most unexpected result.

I expected to lose weight, because I'm no longer at the office where there was always a bowl of candy and often a bunch of muffins or cookies, especially at the holidays. But I gained weight instead, even though I don't keep that stuff at home.

I didn't think I would eat more at home, but apparently I am. I increased my structured exercising as well, but apparently not enough to offset the increased food intake. And I didn't think I moved around that much by going to work as a cubicle dweller, but apparently the amount of walking to and from the car and the ladies' room was enough to make a difference.

I too have already noticed a couple of extra pounds creep on since I FIREd 5 weeks ago. Iíve been snacking more during the day than I did at the office...Iíve treated this 5 weeks like a vacation, but now I need to put more effort into my eating habits and getting more active.

Me and DH predict that we will gain a bunch of weight the first year we're out then be in great shape after decompression.  Does anybody that's been FIREd a while have any experience with that one way or the other?

This more or less was what happened to me but it took a long time for the decompression. I gained weight the first year I was FIRE and have been slowly (ever so slowly) losing it this year. My fitness is also getting better. There are a lot of reasons for that, the most important being that there are other things higher on my priority list than fitness and eating right.

wordnerd

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #85 on: December 17, 2018, 02:29:37 PM »
We definitely spend a little more now. We got a Costco membership and are trying out some of their prepared foods, which is kinda silly since neither us of work now and have oodles of time to meal prep.

I find myself smiling without meaning to. I don't remember when that last happened...College maybe?

People aren't *that* interested in our finances (though a surprising number remember us mentioning MMM close to a decade ago and ask if that's what happened). My parents, in particular, seemed to have warmed to our unexpectedly unconventional lifestyle really quickly.

I'm not lonely. I moved to a new place and don't really have close friends here, but I'm involved in some groups based on my interests and that sates my extroversion bug enough.

I'm becoming a better mom. Having a lot of time with my kids is letting me figure out how to be really good at this. I know some parents do better when they're working, and I thought I was probably one of those. Turns out, nope.

dougules

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #86 on: December 17, 2018, 04:04:12 PM »
"FI" didn't change much for me. But when I added the "RE" part....then shit got real.

FIRE surprises include not only the extent to which I could improve my fitness, but probably more importantly, the SUSTAINABILITY. There have been blips or regressions in the past 4 years - usually the second half of Summer, and predictably, the Holiday Season - but largely, the immense personal satisfaction of a body that feels and performs excellently is more than ample to provide the discipline to keep it up.

Another one which has caught me off guard (but also delighted) has been my growing desire to find and form my human tribe. Oh, how this forum has been an integral tool in this quest. This is a journey I am excited to keep exploring.

Also....absolutely stunned at how my "May as well give this a try once I have all this time" attitude towards vegetable gardening has morphed into "My relationship with my land and appreciation of Nature will NEVER be the same again".

I probably worked 5 years beyond the point I was "FI"...and my misery was everpresent. For some, and this includes me....RE IS THE THING.

I fully expect that I will want to find my tribe when I get there.  I think I really do want to now, but it's buried under living day to day.  My coworkers are good folks, but I just don't feel a real connection to them. 

I had a big garden a few years ago, but I overdid it. I didn't even plant one this year.  I may go back to it, though, when I have a lot more time.  I enjoyed it, but I have enormous respect for folks who eat mostly what they produce themselves.  It's so much work. 

I gained weight. That's my most unexpected result.

I expected to lose weight, because I'm no longer at the office where there was always a bowl of candy and often a bunch of muffins or cookies, especially at the holidays. But I gained weight instead, even though I don't keep that stuff at home.

I didn't think I would eat more at home, but apparently I am. I increased my structured exercising as well, but apparently not enough to offset the increased food intake. And I didn't think I moved around that much by going to work as a cubicle dweller, but apparently the amount of walking to and from the car and the ladies' room was enough to make a difference.

I too have already noticed a couple of extra pounds creep on since I FIREd 5 weeks ago. Iíve been snacking more during the day than I did at the office...Iíve treated this 5 weeks like a vacation, but now I need to put more effort into my eating habits and getting more active.

Me and DH predict that we will gain a bunch of weight the first year we're out then be in great shape after decompression.  Does anybody that's been FIREd a while have any experience with that one way or the other?

This more or less was what happened to me but it took a long time for the decompression. I gained weight the first year I was FIRE and have been slowly (ever so slowly) losing it this year. My fitness is also getting better. There are a lot of reasons for that, the most important being that there are other things higher on my priority list than fitness and eating right.

Yeah, I guess just because you don't have a job any more doesn't mean you're not still really busy.  I'm glad to hear thinks are improving.  Maybe you're not completely done decompressing yet. 

If I had more time, I would probably cook more.  I cook healthy food, but it takes a lot more time and work than throwing a frozen pizza in the oven. 

Monkey Uncle

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #87 on: December 17, 2018, 05:22:57 PM »
I gained weight. That's my most unexpected result.

I expected to lose weight, because I'm no longer at the office where there was always a bowl of candy and often a bunch of muffins or cookies, especially at the holidays. But I gained weight instead, even though I don't keep that stuff at home.

I didn't think I would eat more at home, but apparently I am. I increased my structured exercising as well, but apparently not enough to offset the increased food intake. And I didn't think I moved around that much by going to work as a cubicle dweller, but apparently the amount of walking to and from the car and the ladies' room was enough to make a difference.

I too have already noticed a couple of extra pounds creep on since I FIREd 5 weeks ago. Iíve been snacking more during the day than I did at the office...Iíve treated this 5 weeks like a vacation, but now I need to put more effort into my eating habits and getting more active.

Me and DH predict that we will gain a bunch of weight the first year we're out then be in great shape after decompression.  Does anybody that's been FIREd a while have any experience with that one way or the other?

As I noted earlier, I lost about 15 lbs in the first few months of FIRE, without really trying.  I'm coming up on my one year anniversary, and the weight hasn't come back yet.  Hopefully it's gone for good.

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #88 on: December 17, 2018, 05:56:42 PM »
I gained weight. That's my most unexpected result.

I expected to lose weight, because I'm no longer at the office where there was always a bowl of candy and often a bunch of muffins or cookies, especially at the holidays. But I gained weight instead, even though I don't keep that stuff at home.

I didn't think I would eat more at home, but apparently I am. I increased my structured exercising as well, but apparently not enough to offset the increased food intake. And I didn't think I moved around that much by going to work as a cubicle dweller, but apparently the amount of walking to and from the car and the ladies' room was enough to make a difference.

I too have already noticed a couple of extra pounds creep on since I FIREd 5 weeks ago. Iíve been snacking more during the day than I did at the office...Iíve treated this 5 weeks like a vacation, but now I need to put more effort into my eating habits and getting more active.

Me and DH predict that we will gain a bunch of weight the first year we're out then be in great shape after decompression.  Does anybody that's been FIREd a while have any experience with that one way or the other?

I'm down over 50 pounds.  Can finally put on a 38 inch pair of jeans.

jim555

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #89 on: December 17, 2018, 07:42:45 PM »
When you work you have stress eating, at least for me.  I have lost a lot of weight since the stress is gone.

dougules

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #90 on: December 18, 2018, 10:30:47 AM »
When you work you have stress eating, at least for me.  I have lost a lot of weight since the stress is gone.

Yes, definitely. 

Jon_Snow

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #91 on: December 18, 2018, 10:51:39 AM »
Also....absolutely stunned at how my "May as well give this a try once I have all this time" attitude towards vegetable gardening has morphed into "My relationship with my land and appreciation of Nature will NEVER be the same again".

I had a big garden a few years ago, but I overdid it. I didn't even plant one this year.  I may go back to it, though, when I have a lot more time.  I enjoyed it, but I have enormous respect for folks who eat mostly what they produce themselves.  It's so much work. 

My garden has become bigger and more demanding in each of my 4 years of FIRE - each season I couldn't help myself from building new raised beds. Last season it had reached a point where I felt it was too big, and needed a certain amount of attention that started to prevent from doing some of the OTHER things I love do in this new life I had worked so hard to craft. I have even toyed around with the idea of letting the whole thing lie fallow this year. But I think I can scale things back a bit to a point where I can find the balance between the demands of the garden and freedom to pursue some of my other hobbies and allow for some Summer travel too.

When you work you have stress eating, at least for me.  I have lost a lot of weight since the stress is gone.

Yes, definitely. 

This was the key for me. I was a classic stress eater. Despite the fact that my job was HIGHLY physical, this fact could not overcome the trainwreck that was my diet. I have mentioned somewhere else (my Journal perhaps) that the fellow on the "Supersize Me" documentary was an amateur compared to my own fast food exploits. Once I removed the cause of my stress (job) the change in my dietary habits changed virtually overnight. My physical activity now comes from my hobbies and my neighbourhood gym, not the meat grinder that was my job. My hardest days in the gym are an absolute joy compared to my hardest on that job.

60 pound weight loss overall for me, and I have largely been able to keep it off apart from perhaps a 10 pound fluctuation here or there.

sol

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #92 on: December 18, 2018, 12:10:32 PM »
60 pound weight loss overall for me, and I have largely been able to keep it off apart from perhaps a 10 pound fluctuation here or there.

I wasn't overweight while working, and my level of stress eating was pretty minimal.  I have gained about 5 pounds in retirement, not because of stress, and despite my increased activity level.  I now have more time to cook and I think delicious food is one of life's greatest pleasures, but it does come with the side effect of added calories.  Just by virtue of spending most of my day within 30 seconds of a fridge full of amazing things to eat, I think I eat more now than my newly increased activity level can offset.

In addition to eating more in retirement, I also sleep more, exercise more, read and write more, and spend more quality bedroom time with my spouse.  All things considered, I'm not complaining.

dougules

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #93 on: December 18, 2018, 01:14:32 PM »
60 pound weight loss overall for me, and I have largely been able to keep it off apart from perhaps a 10 pound fluctuation here or there.

I wasn't overweight while working, and my level of stress eating was pretty minimal.  I have gained about 5 pounds in retirement, not because of stress, and despite my increased activity level.  I now have more time to cook and I think delicious food is one of life's greatest pleasures, but it does come with the side effect of added calories.  Just by virtue of spending most of my day within 30 seconds of a fridge full of amazing things to eat, I think I eat more now than my newly increased activity level can offset.

In addition to eating more in retirement, I also sleep more, exercise more, read and write more, and spend more quality bedroom time with my spouse.  All things considered, I'm not complaining.

One of my secret weapons is that liking all kinds of food means that I like healthy food, too.  The problem is that healthy food takes so much more time and effort to cook than the terrible prepackaged stuff.  I only have so much time and energy to spend behind a cutting board.  I've been kind of burned out on my garden the past couple of years, but the actual truth is that I was burned out on cooking it.  2/3 of the garden work was actually in the kitchen.  Next year I'm going to give more produce away.  My garden may become a big agricultural operation once I'm FIRE. 

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #94 on: December 18, 2018, 01:47:53 PM »
60 pound weight loss overall for me, and I have largely been able to keep it off apart from perhaps a 10 pound fluctuation here or there.

I wasn't overweight while working, and my level of stress eating was pretty minimal.  I have gained about 5 pounds in retirement, not because of stress, and despite my increased activity level.  I now have more time to cook and I think delicious food is one of life's greatest pleasures, but it does come with the side effect of added calories.  Just by virtue of spending most of my day within 30 seconds of a fridge full of amazing things to eat, I think I eat more now than my newly increased activity level can offset.

In addition to eating more in retirement, I also sleep more, exercise more, read and write more, and spend more quality bedroom time with my spouse.  All things considered, I'm not complaining.

One of my secret weapons is that liking all kinds of food means that I like healthy food, too.  The problem is that healthy food takes so much more time and effort to cook than the terrible prepackaged stuff.  I only have so much time and energy to spend behind a cutting board.  I've been kind of burned out on my garden the past couple of years, but the actual truth is that I was burned out on cooking it.  2/3 of the garden work was actually in the kitchen.  Next year I'm going to give more produce away.  My garden may become a big agricultural operation once I'm FIRE.

The chopping and slicing gets to me too, so I got a hand powered drawstring pull vegetable chopper and now I find itís no big deal to whip up all sorts of veggie dishes that previously would have taken an hour of prep. You have to be okay with it not looking as pretty as deliberately sliced or grated veggies, but Iím fine with it. I showed it to one of my friends who also complained about the time behind the cutting board and she is so enamored with it that she bought one for everyone she knows.

GreenSheep

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #95 on: December 18, 2018, 03:12:51 PM »
60 pound weight loss overall for me, and I have largely been able to keep it off apart from perhaps a 10 pound fluctuation here or there.

I wasn't overweight while working, and my level of stress eating was pretty minimal.  I have gained about 5 pounds in retirement, not because of stress, and despite my increased activity level.  I now have more time to cook and I think delicious food is one of life's greatest pleasures, but it does come with the side effect of added calories.  Just by virtue of spending most of my day within 30 seconds of a fridge full of amazing things to eat, I think I eat more now than my newly increased activity level can offset.

In addition to eating more in retirement, I also sleep more, exercise more, read and write more, and spend more quality bedroom time with my spouse.  All things considered, I'm not complaining.

One of my secret weapons is that liking all kinds of food means that I like healthy food, too.  The problem is that healthy food takes so much more time and effort to cook than the terrible prepackaged stuff.  I only have so much time and energy to spend behind a cutting board.  I've been kind of burned out on my garden the past couple of years, but the actual truth is that I was burned out on cooking it.  2/3 of the garden work was actually in the kitchen.  Next year I'm going to give more produce away.  My garden may become a big agricultural operation once I'm FIRE.

The chopping and slicing gets to me too, so I got a hand powered drawstring pull vegetable chopper and now I find itís no big deal to whip up all sorts of veggie dishes that previously would have taken an hour of prep. You have to be okay with it not looking as pretty as deliberately sliced or grated veggies, but Iím fine with it. I showed it to one of my friends who also complained about the time behind the cutting board and she is so enamored with it that she bought one for everyone she knows.


Yes! Or a food processor works well for this, too.

Also, if you don't mind vegan recipes, these only have 8 ingredients each, but they are really big on flavor and taste like they were much more complicated: thevegan8.com

Linda_Norway

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #96 on: December 19, 2018, 01:26:24 AM »

One of my secret weapons is that liking all kinds of food means that I like healthy food, too.  The problem is that healthy food takes so much more time and effort to cook than the terrible prepackaged stuff.  I only have so much time and energy to spend behind a cutting board.  I've been kind of burned out on my garden the past couple of years, but the actual truth is that I was burned out on cooking it.  2/3 of the garden work was actually in the kitchen.  Next year I'm going to give more produce away.  My garden may become a big agricultural operation once I'm FIRE.

I have the same challenge when finding wild food. I pick a lot of edible mushrooms (and inedible ones for studying as well). I have also started picking some greens and seaweed. The work you have to do afterwards is immense. Mushrooms grow mostly in the few autumn months. You need to spend hours searching them and then hours cleaning and cutting for the drying machine. Greens need to be sorted, washed and frozen or pureed. I am still not sure what is best to do with seaweed, but it should be preserved some way or another.

My MIL used to complain a bit about her vegetable patch. She had a lot of lettuce in it. All the crops would be ripe and edible in the same week. It was much more than she could prepare for her family in that week.
On the other hand, I also know en person in my neighbourhood who lives mostly off her vegetable garden and doesn't need to buy vegetables in the shop. I get the impression she doesn't have a very busy life otherwise and can prioritize this hobby.

TomTX

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #97 on: December 24, 2018, 10:11:09 AM »
Linda: The easiest solution to "vegetables all ripe at once" is to spread out the planting. Don't sow all of your lettuce on the same day, spread it out over a few weeks. You can also use multiple varieties with different maturation rates.

I like to sow things like carrots and beets a bit too crowded, then eat the thinnings (after a quick rinse - rarely do they make it inside...) to get them to the right spacing.

happy

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #98 on: December 25, 2018, 07:19:06 PM »
Since deciding to morph my LSL into retirement, I've mentioned this to just a few people. I've spent 34 years in a highly specialised area of medicine and don't have anything much in the way of transferable medical skills that wouldn't lead to a malpractice suit. And as a wily downshifter I've pretty much optimised my job to my preferences.

My biggest surprise is that just about everyone has come up with an unworkable  suggestion of more medical practice I could do e.g. work in a small private hospital locally with very few patients (i.e. not many billable hours), whilst doubling my insurance/registration costs, needing to maintain the same amount of CPD but in the private sector I would have to pay for it out of pocket AND be on call 24/7. Umm, no, I'd lose money as well as sleep. OR several suggestions to just "do a bit of family medicine" on the side...( same problem with the costs sides, not to mention lack of skill set). And finally a left of field email from a friend of my brother suggesting I get involved in his medical charity work.

NO people, just NO! Did you not hear I'm 60 years old and retiring from the practice of medicine?

steveo

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Re: What is your most unexpected result from being FI?
« Reply #99 on: December 26, 2018, 02:22:27 PM »
NO people, just NO! Did you not hear I'm 60 years old and retiring from the practice of medicine?

My dad was a doctor. He was a pathologist. He was sacked at about 60 and just decided be couldn't be bothered to work again. He hasn't even contemplated working again. My mum has just this year retired (about a month ago & she was a nurse) but is already talking about going back to work or what she is going to do.

My FIL was financially independent and retired at 40 due to being a hedge fund manager and the fund went bust. He intends to keep working until the day he dies. He runs his own business now and does so much - more than me.

Some people just think you have to work and for some reason some people need too. It makes no sense to me.