Author Topic: We've "won" and now lost the motivation  (Read 10192 times)

Peachrater

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We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« on: July 24, 2019, 01:55:52 PM »
Hi All, 
I've been a follower of MMM for a number of years and my wife and I have retired almost 5 yrs ago (43 and 46 respectfully.  I feel slightly ridiculous for posting this because this should not be a problem but this forum is probably my only chance of finding an ear that may be able to relate.

Simply stated, my wife and I are healthy and have the time and feel we have resources (N.W. approx $2.8M) to do almost anything we want but because the options are so wide we flit about never committing to one idea and putting that at priority one.  Ideas have been largely around travel and experiences for two reasons 1) we enjoy traveling 2) I, primarily, cannot envision myself trading time for money.  I have no interest in starting a business for fun or finding a second career - that is for people that have to earn, in my mind.

All this freedom has lead to lack of follow-through.  One day we're going to rent the house and drive South America. The next I am planning trans-alp mountain bike routes.  The next, exotic rock climbing destinations around the world but everything takes so much planning and each idea impacts the next (seasons, obligations, etc) so little to nothing gets done. 

How do you latch on to a single idea and run with it anymore?  When we were working and focusing on getting to FI we were busy and we'd have 2-3 weeks a year and go on vacation or we'd have plans with friends and go.  FIRE friends are in short supply.

Whine over but would appreciate your thoughts/lambasting.


Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2019, 02:18:08 PM »
How is your mental health?  Does lack of motivation show in other areas?  Are you frequently "down"?  You have at least one symptom of clinical depression.  Trouble sleeping or concentrating?  If you need a doctor and/or medication, please get that taken care of.

But it is probably just lack of urgency.  Were you the type of person at work or school that put things off and became suddenly hyper productive as a deadline approached?  With presumably decades to do your traveling, you might need some kind of external stimulus to prompt action taking.  Maybe start a thread in the "throw down the guantlet" section: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/ and establish a Mustachian challenge to visit 6 countries in the next 12 months.  As your time runs short and other Mustachians start out pacing you, you might get motivated!

Good luck!

Philociraptor

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2019, 02:24:16 PM »
Interested to hear what folks will suggest, as I envision finding myself in a similar place a decade from now.

Mr. Green

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2019, 02:29:21 PM »
One day we're going to rent the house and drive South America. The next I am planning trans-alp mountain bike routes.  The next, exotic rock climbing destinations around the world but everything takes so much planning and each idea impacts the next (seasons, obligations, etc) so little to nothing gets done. 
Why start with something so complicated? My wife and I just returned from traveling the US for three months. We just got in the car and went, with minimal planning, and figured out where we wanted to go as we moved through certain areas. We weren't making a big commitment and how successful that trip was allowed us to learn more about what aspects of travel we liked and better gauge how much we'd enjoy things like more complex international travel. If you're having issues with follow through, get to first base first. You might find you don't even want to run to third.

terrifictim

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2019, 02:40:07 PM »
The good news is you're not alone in this. I forget which bloggers but there's been multiple posts about how they travel and after about a year they lose the enthusiasm for traveling and adjust to their new normal. So many people focus everything on getting to FIRE and never think about what to do when they get there.

Did you have a chance to think about life post-fire when you were still in the midst of working towards fire? Especially for a type A person - having something to run to is incredibly important for navigating the post-fire lifestyle.

General ideas:
*Health - are you able to exercise or eat in a way you couldn't pre-fire. Are you happy with your current fitness or is that something you can now put more time into?
*Volunteering - do you like libraries, parks, etc. Is there something in your community that you would want to support but were never able to.
*Passion project - is there something that you always have enjoyed but never got time to do so? Learning a craft, learning a musical instrument, teaching others

At least some of  your ideas sound like ones that will naturally follow from what you're doing at home. If you are consistently rock climbing at home - then maybe exotic rock climbing becomes more appealing. If bike riding, then same thing.

Does your calendar naturally lead to large chunks of open time - or are there enough obligations where shorter trips would be easier?

Lastly - what has your life been like these past 5 years? Is there anything you've particularly enjoyed that you would want to keep doing?

Parizade

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2019, 03:53:34 PM »
I agree with @Financial.Velociraptor that you should double check your health and lifestyle to make sure there's no underlying issues here.

Other than that it sounds to me like you just don't like planning vacations. Find a good adventure tour company and let them do the planning. All you have to do is keep your passport updated and show up with a suitcase.

I've heard good things about Overseas Adventure Travel, but Mountain IQ put together a list of 25 recommended adventure travel companies HERE

Or get comfortable with accomplishing nothing, beacause really that's okay too. You don't have to prove anything to anyone anymore.

chevy1956

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2019, 04:04:03 PM »
Or get comfortable with accomplishing nothing, beacause really that's okay too. You don't have to prove anything to anyone anymore.

This is my thought. Do what you want to do and be cool with that. You might want to do nothing,

Moustachienne

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2019, 09:40:17 PM »
Thanks for posting this question!  2 years into FIRE and I can relate to sometimes feeling overwhelmed with so many great choices that I end up doing...none. It's a strange "first world problem" problem but for me too, the struggle is real.

When I start to buzz too much, reminding myself of the pleasures of Slow is really helpful.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_movement_(culture)

We've always approached travel from a Slow perspective, e.g. fewer trips, longer stays in fewer places, but I forget how helpful Slow can be in daily life.

Just today I was stressing about all the books I want to read, how many I have on my nightstand, how many on hold at the library, how many friends have given me, only to feel so fatiqued that I don't want to read at all. You'd think it was a job and I was accountable to a boss!  :)  So, I'm going to clear all my decks, note prospective titles on a TBR list that might never be read, pause my library holds, return unread books to the library and friends, and focus on enjoying and finishing no more than 2 books at a time.  Taking a deep breath and getting back to Slow Reading - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_reading

With our FIRE freedom, it is all too possible to cram our days with activities and weigh ourselves down with thoughts of things we could or should be doing.  We got off the career/job treadmill.  Why do we recreate our own hamster wheel? 

Nothin' funnier than people.  :)




Peachrater

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2019, 11:03:17 PM »
Wow, thanks everyone for chiming in.  Way more interest in this topic than I expected. 
To address a few things - I think I'm mentally OK.  I get down sometimes but no more than when I was working or in grad school.  And I have always loved and thrived on the rush of the pressure of the last minute, hair on fire, holy crap brew the coffee and lets get this done NOW state of affairs.
To Mr. Green's q about Why such big plans?  IDK, I feel like I have the time and resources so I should make the most of my life.  We've done a lot and do a lot each year especially by normal 9-5er standards but I feel that any time doing something I do not find enjoyable is a waste of time (fixing hot tub, building deck, etc.)   Being fulfilled with what you have and who you are is a matter of perspective so this may be the true issue I need to work on.   I am going to look deeper into the Slow Movement idea that Moustachienne referenced and this seems to be what Chevy1956 said intuitively. 
Thanks again everyone.





HenryDavid

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2019, 12:54:43 AM »
Well, our motivation was fundamentally ecological, not financial. The financial benefit was a side-effect of siming to consume less for environmental reasons. Now we can do what we want, but we havenít lost focus because the struggle to live more lightly and use fewer resources is endless. Itís a challenging and fun game, but itís also real.

2sk22

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #10 on: July 25, 2019, 02:35:59 AM »
My primary motivation is not travel or luxury goods but learning new things. Financial independence gives you the freedom to study whatever you want. Theres no end of things you could learn - tons of free or inexpensive courses are available online nowadays.

jim555

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #11 on: July 25, 2019, 05:00:28 AM »
"lost the motivation", is that a bad thing?    Crawls back into hammock.

EndlessJourney

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2019, 05:12:03 AM »
All this freedom has lead to lack of follow-through.  One day we're going to rent the house and drive South America. The next I am planning trans-alp mountain bike routes.  The next, exotic rock climbing destinations around the world but everything takes so much planning and each idea impacts the next (seasons, obligations, etc) so little to nothing gets done. 

How do you latch on to a single idea and run with it anymore?  When we were working and focusing on getting to FI we were busy and we'd have 2-3 weeks a year and go on vacation or we'd have plans with friends and go.  FIRE friends are in short supply.

Sounds like you're trying to boil the ocean and feel a bit overwhelmed. And rightfully so.

Why plan such grandiose adventures when you can start the journey of a thousand steps with just one foot forward? Road trip down to Mexico and see if you like it. If it sticks, return and rent your place out and head back out. If not, then come back and try something else.

Do a rock climbing vacation in one exotic location. Don't buy a return ticket. If you feel like heading to another location, then go. If not, return home.

It will be easier to make a decision once you're actually out of the house and doing what you like, no matter how big or small. Things will fall into place naturally when you're not behind a computer clicking on travel web sites.

Rdy2Fire

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #13 on: July 25, 2019, 06:34:41 AM »
I can totally related!!!

This could even be why I am bothering (other thread) to consider this new position I was called about and have interviewed for.

Regardless of that I feel the same way like what should I do now. I decided to take a non "SLOW" trip starting in late September where I'll go away for about 10-12 weeks and hit a bunch of places. Meanwhile I took a short trip to see some friends and doing a few others in the next couple of weeks, I think others hit on it, don't try and boil the ocean pick something small and follow through do that a few times and get a feel for what you like where you want to go and then maybe plan something larger or don't and just wing it. Granted I am very new to not working and see more of a SLOW in my future but I guess I wanted to get out of the gate fast and do some stuff especially with the idea of maybe i'd go back to working.

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #14 on: July 25, 2019, 02:59:55 PM »
... And I have always loved and thrived on the rush of the pressure of the last minute, hair on fire, holy crap brew the coffee and lets get this done NOW state of affairs.
...

One of the great things for me about FIRE is the ability to be self reflective, on my own timetable and terms.  You are not me.  But if you were...you might find it useful to ruminate for an hour a day or so on this "thrill" you get from being under pressure.   Has it been a positive or negative in your life (maybe both?)  Do you have a healthy relationship with deadlines?  What can you learn about yourself and your own core values by remembering past successes/failures and deadline events?  What else gives you that rush (e.g. how can fulfill that need without a boss giving you deadlines?)  I think that could be a very useful meditation for you. 

Hope that perspective helps.

Parizade

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #15 on: July 25, 2019, 05:02:53 PM »
"lost the motivation", is that a bad thing?    Crawls back into hammock.

Exactly :-)

Basenji

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #16 on: July 25, 2019, 07:50:56 PM »
It's a side effect of FIRE, that "OMG what now?" feeling. You may want to check out "Designing Your Life." It's a book, here's a TED talk about it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SemHh0n19LA

Having too many choices ruins our mood. Narrow down your list, pick one, and try it out. Repeat.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2019, 08:31:08 PM by Basenji »

Step37

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #17 on: July 25, 2019, 09:44:03 PM »
This is interesting to me, because I worry I could fall into the same type of pattern. I agree with the advice to just pick something and do it. Donít let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

happy

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #18 on: July 26, 2019, 05:12:12 AM »
1. Know that there are more great things to do in life than you will ever have time for
2. Figure out what is your priority. This really seems to be the nub of your issue. Itís OK to spend some time trying out different ideas, but keep refining and going in circles until you can define it a bit more closely. I did this before I FIRED so I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Once you have decided go for it with the same focus you used at work.
3. If you are planning a trip you will need to stick with it through the durgy organisational details. Itís just stuff you need to do to get where you want to go. Iím about to embark on a 2 month trip to some places Iíve wanted to go for over 15 years....luckily my travel partner is better at planning big trips than me.

herbgeek

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #19 on: July 26, 2019, 06:31:12 AM »
I'm struggling with this as well, having just retired May 31.  I've always been exceptionally productive, and it is a hard adjustment to find a balance when I have all the time in the world.  I spent all of June procrastinating on a painting project, because I could always start tomorrow or next week or when the weather is better.  When I was time constrained, I just got things done whether I wanted to do them or not.

Also on the travel thing:  I feel I need to make the most of my early retirement.  That's all in my head, there is no retirement police lurking about.  I also get overwhelmed with so many choices, so for right now longer travel is out and I'm just doing weekends and overnights.  I'm really more of a homebody than I'd really like to admit.  I wouldn't mind seeing all the sights of Europe, if I could teleport back to my own bed at night.  :)

I suspect the answer is just playing around and finding the right (slower) rhythm than the one I was used to while working.

HonestBanker

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #20 on: July 26, 2019, 01:10:33 PM »
Mr. Money Mustache said it best himself.  Humans require difficult challenges to be truly happy.  It sounds to me like during your working years you had that challenge.  Whether it was challenges at work, achieving FI or making it all fit together with limited time.

How are you challenging yourself now?  Making plans isn't the least bit challenging.  I think the reason others pursue self-employment post-FI is to keep challenging themselves.  I think you've got to try and find a hobby that's challenging enough to fulfill your basic human desire to overcome difficult challenges.

Hikester

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #21 on: July 26, 2019, 08:29:36 PM »
Peachrater, I can relate a little bit to your situation. Here is one idea. Why not make a list with your SO and put numbers in order of importance next to each goal. So for example travel 1 classes 2 etc. Then pretend you only have 6 months left so which of the activities do you really want to do? Which excite you the most? Which require more youth and vitality to do? Do those first. I know your dilemma because I wanted to take some classes but ďtravel keeps getting in the way.Ē But not really as it is fun to travel. Like you said itís a very good problem to have.

mrmoonymartian

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #22 on: July 27, 2019, 10:33:34 PM »
Have you considered trying to invent something useful? Or to make works of art or music? Or volunteering to help others? You now have the resources to plant the trees to shade future generations. To create and fuel your soul. Can you make a meaningful difference beyond leaving behind a pile of empty champagne bottles and depreciated luxury products? Your unconscious is telling you that those other ideas you're not following through on are not really a worthwhile use of your limited time. So what is truly meaningful to you? Only you can answer that question.

NorCal

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #23 on: July 28, 2019, 07:15:39 AM »
One thing that's helped me with motivation in the past is to start with smaller goals.  Big grand ideas have a habit of remaining ideas.

Don't worry about renting the house and driving to South America.  Maybe instead you could commit to one road trip for a day or two each month.

elliha

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #24 on: July 28, 2019, 08:36:40 AM »
If you want to travel, you really need to do lots of planning? If you both can decide where to go and when, book a ticket and a place to live for the first couple of days and let the rest sort itself out. If you don't go into the absolute wilderness there will be something you can see or do and somewhere you can live. Then you don't have to be discouraged by a lot of planning and you still get to do a lot of fun stuff. Personally I often find the things I do a bit unexpectedly on most trips to be the things I enjoy the most.

Plina

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #25 on: July 28, 2019, 10:18:20 AM »
I have stoppad most of the planning for traveling. I book a flight there and back if I have to be home for work. A couple days before I am going I book a hotel room for the two first days.

I traveled for 6 months recently and I only booked the first part of the trip that I had due to visa requirements. Thereafter I booked for two nights and extended the stay with one or two nights at a time. I have realised that I hate planning for my vacations and stopped doing that. The only time I book beforehand if there is some big holiday. It allows me a flexibility to stay one more night if the snorkling gets cancelled due to bad weather or I can leave the place if I donít like it and travel on.

EricEng

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #26 on: August 01, 2019, 03:24:38 PM »
Aim smaller or be spontaneous.  Buy tickets to some place exotic for two weeks the night before (just browse for good last minute deal).  Figure out the details in flight or when you get there.

I did this on a trip to Japan and was my best vacation of my life.

spartana

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #27 on: August 01, 2019, 03:42:33 PM »
One thing that's helped me with motivation in the past is to start with smaller goals.  Big grand ideas have a habit of remaining ideas.

Don't worry about renting the house and driving to South America.  Maybe instead you could commit to one road trip for a day or two each month.
^This. Making BIG plans can be difficult and frustrating and I found that just "going" with minimal plans is best. Don't worry about anything just pack up the car, lock up the house, and go in any direction you feel like at that moment.

 I did this in May and I didn't even plan to go but it was a nice day and the traffic was flowing (coming put of LA metro area on a weekday this is miraculous in and of itself) and next thing you know I'm a couple of hundred miles from home without a change of clothes or even a toothbrush or underwear!   So just went to a store and bought some stuff and got a nice motel by the beach (and then camped as I have a van) and eventually (a month later) I came home. I do have a roommate so let him know I was gone and here I was. It was great and I plan to do that again next week. This time I'm bringing the toothbrush and undies though.

« Last Edit: August 01, 2019, 03:44:43 PM by spartana »

Ladychips

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #28 on: August 01, 2019, 03:52:32 PM »
Making BIG plans can be difficult and frustrating and I found that just "going" with minimal plans is best. Don't worry about anything just pack up the car, lock up the house, and go in any direction you feel like at that moment.

 I did this in May and I didn't even plan to go but it was a nice day and the traffic was flowing (coming put of LA metro area on a weekday this is miraculous in and of itself) and next thing you know I'm a couple of hundred miles from home without a change of clothes or even a toothbrush or underwear!   So just went to a store and bought some stuff and got a nice motel by the beach (and then camped as I have a van) and eventually (a month later) I came home. I do have a roommate so let him know I was gone and here I was. It was great and I plan to do that again next week. This time I'm bringing the toothbrush and undies though.

Love this.  Maybe you could decide to pack a little overnight bag and leave it in your vehicle all the time...

dougules

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #29 on: August 01, 2019, 03:54:52 PM »
Honestly it sounds like a problem with

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overchoice

You now have the ability to go anywhere and do anything (or close enough), and that is overwhelming.  I'm not to FIRE yet, but I think I have had this way in the back of my mind as a potential "problem."

spartana

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #30 on: August 01, 2019, 04:14:43 PM »
Making BIG plans can be difficult and frustrating and I found that just "going" with minimal plans is best. Don't worry about anything just pack up the car, lock up the house, and go in any direction you feel like at that moment.

 I did this in May and I didn't even plan to go but it was a nice day and the traffic was flowing (coming put of LA metro area on a weekday this is miraculous in and of itself) and next thing you know I'm a couple of hundred miles from home without a change of clothes or even a toothbrush or underwear!   So just went to a store and bought some stuff and got a nice motel by the beach (and then camped as I have a van) and eventually (a month later) I came home. I do have a roommate so let him know I was gone and here I was. It was great and I plan to do that again next week. This time I'm bringing the toothbrush and undies though.

Love this.  Maybe you could decide to pack a little overnight bag and leave it in your vehicle all the time...
I usually do but had cleaned out my van and didn't have anything on me at all. But I've done that before (including hopping on a plane or train or bus without planning to do so) and shopping for a few things in a new place is kind of fun and interesting. I did miss my bike though.

Also to second others, I agree that the OP is overwhelmed by too many choices and opportunities. Most of us FIREees have been through that and if you can slow down a bit and just do one thing that doesn't require lots of up front planning I think you'll find an easier way to handle the directionless and FOMO you seem to have.
« Last Edit: August 01, 2019, 04:21:48 PM by spartana »

Happy Little Chipmunk

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #31 on: August 04, 2019, 11:36:07 AM »
Posting to follow...

A lot of good ideas in here! This has been a problem for me (achievement-seeking procrastinator). Deadline stress can make me feel ALIVE and pushes me to do things, but it is also pretty dang unhealthy to run around with your hair on fire on a regular basis.

So mindfulness is my goal. When I start to feel rudderless and like I'm not following through on the things I say I value, I start up my Toggl.com timer and see where I spend my time for a few days or a week. Am I seeing friends? Doing volunteer work? Exercising? Learning stuff? Creating things? Curbing evening computer time?

If I'm not feeling great, I'm probably not doing enough of one or more of those things, so it's time for self-reflection.

Bateaux

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #32 on: August 04, 2019, 10:45:53 PM »
I've decided to OMY because I want more money.  I like money, have been collecting it a long time and want to keep a lot of it.  My goals have shifted from 1.5 million, to 2.0 million and currently 2.5 million.  With two of those goals now past already will it move on to 3.0 million?  Maybe, but I don't think it has to.  The 2.5 will probably be enough.  It's not FIRE burn out for me, it's building a nice bundle of wealth while it's very easy. 

Omy

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #33 on: August 05, 2019, 01:07:30 PM »
PTF. DH just quit his job, and I'm hoping to wrap things up with mine this month. I've been concerned about the same thing happening to us...lots of great tips here so far!

albireo13

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #34 on: August 06, 2019, 10:47:18 AM »
what does PTF mean??

RWD

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #35 on: August 06, 2019, 10:55:05 AM »

Omy

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #36 on: August 06, 2019, 01:01:51 PM »

Posting To Follow. It's better to use the notify system though.

Thank you for the link...that makes it much easier to quietly lurk! And to escape when you are DONE with a thread!

Padonak

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #37 on: August 06, 2019, 01:11:24 PM »
OP, can I have your problems please?

powskier

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #38 on: October 14, 2019, 09:20:21 PM »
Sounds like too many choices, too much research, too much internet.

Make a choice, book your first 3 days, then stop researching, step away from the internet. Go wherever it is, meet people, explore, talk to people, follow their suggestions, wing it.
It sounds like you might be more attached to the excitement of the idea rather than the actual experience. Go have some experiences, it doesn't matter if some of them are imperfect or even subpar, it's just life, go live it, you have the means and nothing else you have to do.

Linea_Norway

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #39 on: October 15, 2019, 06:05:48 AM »
DH and I will FIRE from the first of January 2020.

We have made a list of trips we would like to do some day. It is a mixture of smaller trips in our own country which we can just do after packing the car or a backpack and printing a map. And bigger trips that require a long period of organization. So far I have been putting a few of those shorter trips in my monthly calendar. There is probably an optimal or preferred month for each trip. So I am putting the ones that have an optimal time in that month. Then we can plan the coming year from there.

I also think it is a bit weird to have 2 major planning events at the same time. If you would for example do a thru hike which requires a lot of preparation and organization, then maybe you want to prepare for that the whole winter, if you start in the spring. I think it would be weird to start planning to such trips at the same time. But you can make a bucket list of things you ever want to do and plan them once at the time.

Tyler

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #40 on: October 15, 2019, 10:06:36 AM »
One day we're going to rent the house and drive South America. The next I am planning trans-alp mountain bike routes.  The next, exotic rock climbing destinations around the world but everything takes so much planning and each idea impacts the next (seasons, obligations, etc) so little to nothing gets done. 
To Mr. Green's q about Why such big plans?  IDK, I feel like I have the time and resources so I should make the most of my life. 

You know how people just introduced to MMM often really love the idea in theory but quickly give up because the end goal just seems way too unattainable?  It usually takes breaking the goal down into achievable small chunks for people to start to feel a little momentum and get excited about the future.  So instead of shooting for the moon and feeling like anything less isn't making the most of your life, what's the travel equivalent of the debt snowball to get you off of center and moving in the desired direction?  Do that, and you'll feel a lot better.

flyingaway

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #41 on: October 16, 2019, 11:03:57 AM »
All this freedom has lead to lack of follow-through.  One day we're going to rent the house and drive South America. The next I am planning trans-alp mountain bike routes.  The next, exotic rock climbing destinations around the world but everything takes so much planning and each idea impacts the next (seasons, obligations, etc) so little to nothing gets done. 

How do you latch on to a single idea and run with it anymore?  When we were working and focusing on getting to FI we were busy and we'd have 2-3 weeks a year and go on vacation or we'd have plans with friends and go.  FIRE friends are in short supply.

I am semi-retired and certainly have the problems that you are experiencing. In my opinion, if you need detailed planning for everything, you still care about spending very much and are not very confident in your finance.
 
If money is truly not a problem, you could, like others suggested, get on a plane at any time you feel like going. 

Car Jack

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #42 on: October 22, 2019, 12:21:13 PM »
I think you're overly focused on humungous, big things.

I'll make this simple.

I have a goal of getting up on the weekend and going to a diner to get breakfast.

Tell me why my goal isn't reasonable.  I have no interest in getting on an airplane to go anywhere.  You don't have to do huge, memorable, topic of the most interesting man in the world conversations kinds of things.  You really don't.

kei te pai

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #43 on: October 22, 2019, 01:57:39 PM »
Sometimes doing stuff for other people can be more satisfying than doing stuff for yourself.

Sandi_k

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Re: We've "won" and now lost the motivation
« Reply #44 on: October 22, 2019, 02:15:16 PM »
One idea I've heard is to have a "red X" month. One month a year where you choose to schedule nothing except your travel or fun plan.

Then the routine can trap you the other 11 months - Mother's Day, Father's Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas account for 4 of the 11. May, June, July and October are my favorite months at home. So that means we could travel in January, February, March, April, September, and October. So I look for places with reasonable weather during those times of year. Such as Australia in February. ;)

I like to plan 6 months out - gives us a good way to keep costs reasonable, and gives me time to explore our options.

Then I have a list for "someday." For example, some year I'd like to have Christmas in a tropical paradise. But I won't do it while we still have parents with mobility issues and limited budgets. I'd like to rent a catamaran in the Caribbean, and invite 6 other people along. They pay to get there, I pay for the rental and food. I'm doing that the year I FIRE with my paid out vacation leave.