Author Topic: Things are TOO Stable  (Read 4293 times)

pdxbator

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Things are TOO Stable
« on: April 18, 2018, 09:08:44 AM »
This post may sound totally complainy pants as there are lots of people who come no where near this and I'm super grateful for what I have. I know I'm very lucky in everything but right now things are just too damn stable in my life.

I'm mid 40s and husband around same age. He works as a teacher and I work just 2 days a week. We are FI at this point we could both quit our jobs but in general we like what we do for a few more years. I've been in my job 10 years and he in his for 22 years. No kids.

We have owned our house for 20 years, paid off. We have a good relationship. We have our normal routines. Have a dog.

My parents are mid 70s in another state and not in great health. His mom leaves nearby in late 70s and not in great health.

We are both sort of antsy for something different. Things are just too damn stable. Our investments are on autopilot. Essentially we are tired of the routine. Not of the routine with eachother, but the normal yearly routine. We have thought about moving abroad, but with 2 sets of parents not in great health this just doesn't seem doable.

I guess my question is if there are suggestions to break up the routine? Maybe I'm just feeling a mid life crisis coming on. The thing is I hate driving and we don't need a little red sports car.

LifeHappens

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2018, 09:39:20 AM »
It does sound like you need to do something to break out of your routine - in a way that does not compromise your marriage or finances :)

Are you deferring anything until "someday"? Some kind of trip, learning a new skill, starting a side hustle, redecorating your house, etc?

ZiziPB

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2018, 09:45:40 AM »
How about both you and DH taking a sabbatical of a few months and traveling?  Or at least you take a sabbatical while he is on summer vacation and go somewhere different for a couple of months?  Rent a house on a beach in Mexico or an apartment in Paris and enjoy!

Sun Hat

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2018, 09:45:46 AM »
I'd say that you need an adventure that takes time to prepare for.  If you're in good physical health, or have no barriers to getting into good physical health, how about picking a big physical challenge and then training to be able to do it? Things like skydiving or sight-seeing are over too fast, so they don't do much for changing your every day routine. I'm thinking more like training to climb every peak over 14000' within range of a long-weekend, or training to run the marathon des sables (a multi-day run in Morocco). Swim the English Channel, bike from Portland to Seattle, Denver, or Mexico City - it can be anything, so long as it's daunting and gives you a bit of a thrill to think of it.

If you're not physical challenge people, how about something else that's big and odd?
Build a giant mechanical spider https://www.lesmachines-nantes.fr/en/
Join a local acting troupe
Volunteer to do something that you're especially good at (if you tell me what you really excel at or love doing, I'd be happy to suggest who needs you do to that thing)


RookieStache

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2018, 12:10:11 PM »
Slightly off-topic but I find your situation interesting...

You and your husband are both in your mid 40's, you work part time and he is a teacher. Typically, I wouldn't expect two people in this situation to be FI. Your investments are on auto pilot, are you maxing out retirement accounts?

If you don't mind me asking, how did you pay off your house and become FI so quickly? I understand you don't have kids, which is a huge factor, but still seems early. Would you mind sharing your annual income and how you became FI so quickly?

Much Fishing to Do

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2018, 12:51:47 PM »
Sounds like you could easily take the Summer off and travel? (not just driving around) and if you are already FI but are planning on working a few more years then you can afford to pay for the adventure...Summer is closing in fast!

We spent a summer traveling around Europe with the family a few years ago.  I had to work a good bit but can do so from anywhere so that worked out fine, but I'm really looking forward to doing it again without the work someday...
« Last Edit: April 18, 2018, 12:54:29 PM by Strick »

Eric

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2018, 01:01:19 PM »
Get a dog or two.  Your local shelter likely has plenty of options to shake up your routine and bring joy to your stable existence.

Fishindude

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2018, 01:04:25 PM »
Get arrested for something stupid.   That should keep you busy for a while and break up the routine :)

spokey doke

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2018, 08:49:08 AM »
Travel - adventurously

Learn a language

Take up a new hobby in earnest

Get really good at cooking something you enjoy

House project

Start planning the impending retirement...what then?

Livingthedream55

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2018, 08:59:41 AM »
Check Out This Book:

I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It Paperback –

https://www.amazon.com/Could-Anything-Only-Knew-What/dp/0440505003/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Get it from the library, of course! Or buy used for .25 plus postage - you own it for $4.00.  : 0 )

It's a book I reread once a year or so - it's about figuring out your passions and finding ways to get to do them (she talks mainly via careers but you can use the exercises to figure out how to spend summers, etc.)




Libertea

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2018, 03:53:56 PM »
How about going to the state where your parents are and visiting them?

Gone Fishing

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #11 on: April 19, 2018, 06:41:13 PM »
Find a mentor program for teenagers? 

calimom

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2018, 08:07:36 PM »
Portland is so cool and on so many people's radar right now. What about investigating a house exchange for something in …England, France, California, Arizona, New York, Central America? For a month or two or whatever? Might mix things up a bit and no red convertible needed. And it's a good thing to think about different things! A change without disrupting your entire life might be just the ticket.

wanderin1

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #13 on: May 13, 2018, 01:14:04 AM »

I have two words for you: "Rickshaw Run."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLOQQ7ge_0Q

You're welcome!

marty998

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #14 on: May 13, 2018, 05:42:09 AM »
Find a mentor program for teenagers?

Have you ever met a teenager who listened to a teacher before? :P

deborah

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #15 on: May 13, 2018, 05:54:12 AM »
It is amazing what things are in your own backyard. Look up TripAdvisor for your area. How many of the things have you been to? I’m betting only a small percentage of what’s available, and there will be something you want to do that you haven’t done. Go for walks around your suburb or town. Look at the municipal parks and gardens. What amenities do they have? There are at least twenty near me that have picnic facilities.

Look up the municipal list of clubs and sporting associations. There’s bound to be something of interest. Or, what short courses does your community college run?
« Last Edit: May 13, 2018, 05:57:05 AM by deborah »

daverobev

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #16 on: May 13, 2018, 09:44:13 AM »
Buy a rental property!

Visit India!

Get a 'bucket list' book.

You only get to live once; spend your time wisely. If you're bored (inc. of your jobs), and can change, change. Sell everything, go on a voyage of self discovery.

2Birds1Stone

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #17 on: May 13, 2018, 04:15:09 PM »
I would recommend slower long term travel for say 3-6 months.

MarciaB

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Re: Things are TOO Stable
« Reply #18 on: May 15, 2018, 10:47:23 AM »
Check Out This Book:

I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It Paperback –

https://www.amazon.com/Could-Anything-Only-Knew-What/dp/0440505003/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Get it from the library, of course! Or buy used for .25 plus postage - you own it for $4.00.  : 0 )

It's a book I reread once a year or so - it's about figuring out your passions and finding ways to get to do them (she talks mainly via careers but you can use the exercises to figure out how to spend summers, etc.)

Yup. I love this book too, and reread it every 5 years or so. Super helpful for when I've achieved all the big goals and am a bit adrift ("between big goals") and need some encouragement to find the next big thing.