Author Topic: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated  (Read 7764 times)

Omy

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Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« on: November 12, 2018, 11:15:05 AM »
I've read every MMM article and have lurked at this forum for over a year. I've been mustachian since I was a toddler (I preferred money to candy at age 3 according to my dad.)

DH and I have a mortgage-free rental property that brings in $1850/mo, a mortgage-free principle residence, and another $2.5M in stocks, bonds, CDs and cash. We live on $50k a year easily in a HCOL area, but make over $300k. I'm 56, he's 51. I like my job (realtor), he is tired of his (engineering manager). His job pays more and has great benefits. I'm an independent contractor (no benefits.)

When I look at it objectively, I know we are FI. We've been FI for years. But pulling the trigger to RE causes me a lot of anxiety. Especially about health insurance premium costs and no clue where that mess is heading.

I came to you Post Fire experts to ask for advice on how to gain the confidence needed to pull the trigger. I know the math gives us next to zero chance of failure, but anxiety is winning over math.

ysette9

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2018, 12:37:31 PM »
I recommend reading Dr Doom’s The Quit Series on his blog LivingaFI.com. He does an amazing job of unpacking his of reluctance to pull the trigger on RE once reaching FI.

chasesfish

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2018, 12:42:37 PM »
I can...fully relate.   I don't have have the asset levels that you do, but I decided to extend my date from 6/30/2018 to March of 2019. 

I've posted some on my site linked below, but it's also good to poke around the 2018 and 2019 retirement threads that are in the general discussion.

My motivations were more the obscene financial impact of working the additional nine months.  It does take confidence to exit.

Would you keep your realtor's license and keep the residual flow of your clients buying/selling houses?  I've seen "retired" folks find a junior real estate agent and let them do all the work while taking part of the commission.

deborah

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2018, 01:41:19 PM »
It seems to me that maybe you donít want to pull the trigger, but your husband does. Are you comfortable enough with the math for you to stay working, and for him to retire?

Having only one retired does bring its own issues. The retired person can feel confined to their home location and not as free to do other things as they might like. The working person may feel resentful that the retired person doesnít do all the housework (even though that may not be in the plan)...

Metta

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2018, 01:43:41 PM »
You don't have to retire. My husband is a professor and at this point he doesn't want to leave his job. Not because of the money but because he loves what he does. Before I left my job he asked me to consider leaving to something (rather than just leaving). I spent about two years figuring out what I wanted to do after I left. This was time well-spent because once I left I had a goal to fall into (after six months of recovery from excessive work).

What I don't hear you saying is what you want your life to be like. You say that you've preferred money over other things your entire life. Do you still? Is there something you prefer now? If not, why not stay at  your job and continue to make money?

As to health insurance, that's pretty simple. Factor in an additional $12000 a year into your expenses.

terran

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #5 on: November 12, 2018, 02:16:25 PM »
You might find forum member @CCCA's calculator (introductory post here: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/rich-broke-or-dead-visualizing-probabilities-of-outcomes-in-early-retirement/) "fun" to play with to gain a little perspective. You're more likely to die next year than to ever run out money. Seems like that's a good reason to never do anything that isn't what you most want to be doing ever again.

AccidentalMiser

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2018, 03:01:27 PM »
Tell you what, I'll trade lives with you and retire tomorrow.  You can keep working as long as you want!!

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #7 on: November 12, 2018, 03:05:33 PM »

I recommend reading Dr Doomís The Quit Series on his blog LivingaFI.com. He does an amazing job of unpacking his of reluctance to pull the trigger on RE once reaching FI.

Thank you...reading now...looks great so far.


Would you keep your realtor's license and keep the residual flow of your clients buying/selling houses?  I've seen "retired" folks find a junior real estate agent and let them do all the work while taking part of the commission.

Probably. I've hit the sweet spot in my career where most of my business is from referrals, so it seems a shame to stop now. A good junior agent has approached me, and this makes sense as an exit strategy. The tricky part is that income will probably throw us out of the ACA subsidy range, so we'll need to do the math to see if it's worth it.


What I don't hear you saying is what you want your life to be like. You say that you've preferred money over other things your entire life. Do you still? Is there something you prefer now? If not, why not stay at  your job and continue to make money?


I have always equated money with security. I would rather have money in the bank than things. That being said, relationships are more important to me than money. I was a programmer before I became a realtor and made more as a programmer than I do as a realtor, but I much prefer the people aspects of my current job. You are absolutely correct that I am floundering when I try to imagine what my life will look like in retirement.

It seems to me that maybe you donít want to pull the trigger, but your husband does. Are you comfortable enough with the math for you to stay working, and for him to retire?

Having only one retired does bring its own issues. The retired person can feel confined to their home location and not as free to do other things as they might like. The working person may feel resentful that the retired person doesnít do all the housework (even though that may not be in the plan)...

I'm a bit concerned about the resentment factor, but I could quit if that were the case. If I keep working, I will need to partner up with another realtor to free up time to spend traveling with DH since I currently work a lot of weekends and evenings. My gut says it will be more fun to retire together, but we need to do some homework to figure out what retirement will look like. I don't think it's healthy to spend all our time together - I don't want to ruin a perfectly good marriage.

You might find forum member @CCCA's calculator (introductory post here: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/rich-broke-or-dead-visualizing-probabilities-of-outcomes-in-early-retirement/) "fun" to play with to gain a little perspective. You're more likely to die next year than to ever run out money. Seems like that's a good reason to never do anything that isn't what you most want to be doing ever again.

What an awesome calculator! When you look at it that way, it definitely puts things into perspective.

Tell you what, I'll trade lives with you and retire tomorrow.  You can keep working as long as you want!!

Ha! I guess I should stop my whining!
« Last Edit: November 12, 2018, 03:12:28 PM by Omy »

chasesfish

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2018, 03:31:38 PM »

I'm glad you've already looked at the potential exit strategy and I think that's exactly what you should do.  If you are self employed as a realtor (and put your spouse on as a "marketing consultant" to qualify as a two person group), you can probably get into an insurance pool that's better than the ACA.  A couple of our local chambers of commerce and many business associations sponsor insurance pools for 2-50 person employees.  The groups are usually healthier than the ACA group and you can get insurance for less.  Having the ability to part-time a business you've put all this sweat equity into is a great thing!

You could also consider taking your commission in the form of a note receivable from the other agent, have them pay you out the referral fees over a number of years.  You'd have to trust the other agent so that might be a deal breaker.

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2018, 08:29:51 PM »
I need to figure out what retirement will look like for me before I pull the trigger. As for DH, I'm suggesting he shoot for July 1, 2019 so we can start planning. It will never happen if we don't set a date. This way he can lock in his bonus and vest some more shares and 18 months of COBRA will put us at Jan 2021. Hopefully there will be some sort of reasonable health insurance options at that point.
Putting it out here (and on my calendar) will help to make it real.

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2018, 11:07:30 PM »
You are FI.  RE is VOLUNTARY.

You want to keep working?  Fuck what the community thinks.   But keep working strategically after you have FU money. DH is supervisor and less than elated to be at work?  Negotiate 8-12 weeks vacation. What they going to do for his asking, fire him?!?  Take a job with a drone startup or in the New Space movement as a regular engineer, salary be damned.  Make work fun again.  And fuck anyone who stands in the way. You like being a realtor?  Do it exactly the number of hours of a week you want to.  And fuck management if they want more out of you.   There will be an agency that takes you at the preferred level of commitment. 

Work for fucking forever if need be.  But do it on your own damn terms.  MMM and its adherents don't get to tell you how to live your own fucking life. What winds your spring?!?  Do THAT.  You are free to do so!

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #11 on: November 14, 2018, 05:53:01 AM »
Well THAT reply made me smile...I feel like I got a bit of a face punch!

I know my job is easily scalable. I just need to learn how to put better boundaries on it. Partnering with another realtor is a common approach to deal with that challenge. I could choose to work another 30 years if mind and body stay fit enough.

My biggest concern about DH leaving his job has always been health care. While both of us are fairly healthy now, my family has history with million dollar illnesses and the butchering of the ACA has made me nervous about dumping perfectly good company-subsidized health insurance. A silver plan without subsidies is $1700/mo on the exchange (much less if we manage MAGI which is easy if I quit). Every year there seems to be a 20+% increase in premiums which is not sustainable.

I know I'm not supposed to worry about things I can't control, but that is my biggest emotional obstacle to RE.

dougules

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #12 on: November 14, 2018, 03:56:31 PM »
The rent can more or less pay for your premium.  Then a $1M illness would take you down to $1.5M which would still be $60k/year to live on.  That's also ignoring the fact you're not really that far away from social security and medicaid age (I'm assuming you're in the US). 

But yeah, this is all about psychology not math.  One big question mark are the reasons you do and don't want to quit.  I guess you could probably even sit down and make two big columns and list all the reason in each

I WANT TO QUIT BECAUSE       |      I WANT TO KEEP WORKING BECAUSE


If you work nights and weekends, then him quitting would be good.  Is there really much difference between lunch on Wednesday and supper on Friday for folks who don't have a 9-5?

How does he feel about all this?  Is he hesitant, or is he completely ready to pull the trigger?



Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #13 on: November 14, 2018, 05:19:02 PM »
He's been ready for years. My "what ifs" have delayed us. He's been accommodating and thought that "stockpiling" more reserves would alleviate my anxiety. At this point my contingency plans have contingency plans. It's time for him to quit.

chasesfish

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #14 on: November 14, 2018, 06:35:16 PM »
Speaking of health care, one of the really informed bloggers just posted this:

https://ournextlife.com/2018/11/14/health-care-2019/

I don't agree with her politics, but she was formerly a political consultant on healthcare and a patient with a chronic disorder.

Premiums have finally stabilized for the ACA and we should be okay for three years

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #15 on: November 15, 2018, 05:57:42 AM »
That's a really good article on the subject. I intuitively felt the same thing on Nov 6 (that gridlock might protect the ACA for 2 years), but I hadn't thought about it being 3 years - which gets me that much closer to Medicare age. Comforting to see an expert articulate it that way.

Metta

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #16 on: November 15, 2018, 07:28:16 AM »
He's been ready for years. My "what ifs" have delayed us. He's been accommodating and thought that "stockpiling" more reserves would alleviate my anxiety. At this point my contingency plans have contingency plans. It's time for him to quit.

Iím glad youíve come to that realization. I desperately wanted to leave my job and it was my husband who wanted to stay with his. He persuaded me to leave, saying that he would follow me into retirement soon after. This hasnít occurred because he truly loves what he does. Iíd feared that he would resent me if I was no longer going to a job and he still had to, but that isnít what happened. Instead we are both so much happier. I hadnít realized how much stress my stressful job was putting on him. But of course he needed to deal with me with my emotions when I came home each night.

We are living in a time of full employment. If your husband leaves his job and it doesnít work out for you, he can call this a trial run and find another job, perhaps a less stressful one.

soccerluvof4

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #17 on: November 15, 2018, 07:31:05 AM »
I retired going on 4 years ago along with my wife. I was the bread winner and she actually ended up working for me after we had our kids and just wanted to get out of the house. I was done. After two years of retirement during the last election we too were worried about the cost of Healthcare and with 4 kids wanted to to have something more than ACA. She came up with the idea to go back to work with the idea she will find something that totally is all about the benefits and works around her schedule. She loves it and actually works for a company that does benefits for companies. I had to adjust from being the controller of my own life, 50 employees etc.. and l took over al the cooking , chasing kids etc.. And we had about the same maybe a tad more but also 4 kids. Do your real estate just enough to cover the cost of Health Care since you enjoy it and let him retire.  We were 50 and 46.

dougules

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #18 on: November 16, 2018, 12:27:06 PM »
This thread sounds like two intertwined but separate things, really.  Should you quit, and should your husband quit? 

It seems like your husband quitting is a foregone conclusion.

On the first one it sounds a bit more complicated.  I guess it really is a question of whether you want to keep working out of fear of jumping out into the abyss or because that's what makes you happy independent of the money.  That may or may not be something easy to answer. 

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #19 on: November 16, 2018, 01:40:22 PM »
I have a little bit of this, too. The discomfort is with being in a draw-down situation with assets rather than building net worth, it goes against all of our training. Seems like you've set yourself a goal of RE so you want to, but now you're questioning it. The question you have to ask yourself is, will the benefits/dream of retiring early actually outweigh the anxiety about future health care? Is this about the $, or, in one more year will you say "one more year?" As someone pointed out, you don't have to retire! You can just ramp back and go after less new clients!

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #20 on: November 16, 2018, 03:12:18 PM »
You all have such great insights...this forum is a mustachian form of therapy!

I have officially given my blessing to DH to leave his job July 1 (his preferred date) barring any unforeseen, catastrophic circumstance. I know that last part makes it sound like I could pull a fast one and change my mind, but I think I've made peace with him leaving when he's ready. This thread has helped me realize that my anxiety about pulling the trigger shouldn't be strangling him.

dougules

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #21 on: November 16, 2018, 03:48:59 PM »
You all have such great insights...this forum is a mustachian form of therapy!

I have officially given my blessing to DH to leave his job July 1 (his preferred date) barring any unforeseen, catastrophic circumstance. I know that last part makes it sound like I could pull a fast one and change my mind, but I think I've made peace with him leaving when he's ready. This thread has helped me realize that my anxiety about pulling the trigger shouldn't be strangling him.

Great to hear it worked out.

I'm curious if you're willing to divulge what your plans for yourself are. 

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #22 on: November 16, 2018, 07:45:53 PM »
Plan A is to work through 2019 and see how I feel at that time. I will partner with another agent (when DH retires) to free up time so I can ease into retirement. Plan B is to jump at the same time that DH does if there's a lull in my business. Plan B will allow me to make money off referrals for awhile.

soccerluvof4

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #23 on: November 17, 2018, 03:33:06 AM »
Plan A is to work through 2019 and see how I feel at that time. I will partner with another agent (when DH retires) to free up time so I can ease into retirement. Plan B is to jump at the same time that DH does if there's a lull in my business. Plan B will allow me to make money off referrals for awhile.



Sounds like a good plan!

RecoveringCarClown

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #24 on: November 26, 2018, 10:32:05 PM »
You all have such great insights...this forum is a mustachian form of therapy!

I have officially given my blessing to DH to leave his job July 1 (his preferred date) barring any unforeseen, catastrophic circumstance. I know that last part makes it sound like I could pull a fast one and change my mind, but I think I've made peace with him leaving when he's ready. This thread has helped me realize that my anxiety about pulling the trigger shouldn't be strangling him.

He has been ready for years. Why does he need your blessing?  He has sentenced himself to 7 more months of prison while combined you have oversaved by at least a cool mil?

Recently I have had several friends suddenly die in their 30ís and 40ís, please push him be free now and cherish the short time on this earth together.  There are less tomorrowís than most can ever imagine.

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #25 on: November 26, 2018, 11:35:02 PM »
Probably a semantic issue here. I finally realized it was unfair that my fears were effectively controlling his end date (and told him this a couple of weeks ago). I let him know that I was ok with him leaving whenever he was ready. He came up with the July 1 date to get additional bonus/vesting. Since then, he's moved it up to June 1 (so at least we are moving in the right direction). You are right...life is too short.

soccerluvof4

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #26 on: November 27, 2018, 03:22:11 AM »
Probably a semantic issue here. I finally realized it was unfair that my fears were effectively controlling his end date (and told him this a couple of weeks ago). I let him know that I was ok with him leaving whenever he was ready. He came up with the July 1 date to get additional bonus/vesting. Since then, he's moved it up to June 1 (so at least we are moving in the right direction). You are right...life is too short.


Awesome!

Dicey

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #27 on: December 26, 2018, 09:07:09 PM »
Posting to see how this works out. Six years post-FIRE here, DH loves his job and still works.

Cassie

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #28 on: December 26, 2018, 09:46:40 PM »
Yes definitely leave it up to your husband about the leave date. We lost 3 friends between the ages of 59-67.

TomTX

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #29 on: December 27, 2018, 10:29:53 AM »
Engineer friend of mine died last week, leaving a wife and baby behind. Not even 40 years old yet.

You and your husband have basically no chance of running out of money if you follow the basic MMM guidelines.  At this point, it's just how much of your life do you want to force your husband to keep working?

I find the "Rich Broke Dead" visualizer to be useful. I put in a rough approximation of your numbers. The red area (none) is "broke" and the grey area is "dead".

http://engaging-data.com/will-money-last-retire-early/?utm_source=mmm

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #30 on: December 27, 2018, 12:24:21 PM »
I love the Rich Broke Dead visualizer. I was directed to it recently and it was a good "smack in the head" showing me that we're fine and my concerns about future health care costs are irrelevant if we're dead. I'm completely on board with DH quitting when he's ready - and I will quit when I'm ready.

dividendman

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #31 on: December 27, 2018, 05:07:47 PM »
You can always try it and then go back to work if you feel like it.

I was originally in the 2018 cohort, decided to pull the date up to 2017, took a year off (instead of FIRE) and now am working again just because I had a good opportunity i wanted to try... didn't need the money.

When I get bored of it I can always quit again!

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #32 on: December 27, 2018, 06:44:56 PM »
I strongly suggest reading the simplest, easiest book in the world ďWho Moved My Cheese?Ē  It has one of the most powerful questions Iíve ever seen posed: what would you do if you werenít afraid?  Your fear is ho,ding you back from enjoying a life with your husband that is worth more than money. You have enough. You have more than enough by every measure. Hell, your rental income alone covers almost half your expenses. You only get one life. Thatís it! One. And no one on their death bed says, I wish I would have worked longer for that bonus.

Here is an exercise: imagine you have 15 million. Your health insurance is covered. Expenses covered. Now, you have nothing to be afraid of, what will you do with your life and your husband? Put your energy into that, not how to get more money, but what youíll do when you have enough.

Then, after you answer that, gently slap yourself and repeat this in the mirror: Holy shit, I have enough!

Now live that life and donít look back.

frugal_c

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #33 on: December 30, 2018, 11:00:16 AM »
I think MrThatsDifferent and others really nail it.  I am just speculating but I don't know OMY has much to do with money in your case.  Is it perhaps that you worry what you will do, sense of purpose you will have without the career?  Maybe you just need to gradually ease into it, don't quit but just start reducing your work (easier said than done in such a competitive field) and perhaps your SO can just quit outright.  Start spending more time/effort on exploring life, finding new hobbies, meeting new people.  Good luck!

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #34 on: December 30, 2018, 07:00:54 PM »
I agree. I love the suggestion to re-read "Who Moved My Cheese?". I saw a headline today that indicated 55 year old retirees live until 80, but 65 year old retirees live until 67 (or something like that). Ouch. Better get my priorities straight quickly.

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #35 on: February 04, 2019, 08:30:53 AM »
Quick update - plus I wanted to save a link that was helpful from the "Stop Worrying about the 4% rule" thread:

https://www.kitces.com/blog/consumption-gap-in-retirement-why-most-retirees-will-never-spend-down-their-portfolio/

I re-read "Who Moved My Cheese?" and have been digesting a lot of other info on this forum and others. At the moment, I'm still feeling good about DH leaving in June (and even sooner if he decides). He is intent on waiting for his April work incentive, but might skip the June incentive. I'm happily busy at work so I will work through at least June unless something changes.

Blindsquirrel

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #36 on: February 14, 2019, 06:07:32 PM »
   I feel your pain OMY. Have struggled with that though FI by any reasonable calculation. Have not gown the nuts to just quit as my wife and I have yet to get on the same page as this. She loves to shop. It really does not matter as she makes an above average salary as do I in a LCOL area. We owe nothing on anything.  My job has been pretty good since I quit in my head and my knucklehead boss chilled TF out. The elephant in the room is if my wife works 3 more years she gets dirt cheap HC and we will be she will be 55 and she has been detesting her boss but not her job lately. I am leaning toward doing the RE thing shortly and will work on her doing the same.

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #37 on: March 14, 2019, 07:44:36 AM »
So DH just received his bonus (largest to date - it was almost half his salary). He has a ton of stock options vesting in May (probably equivalent to 75-80% of his salary.) Then he plans to sail off into the figurative sunset.

I had been thinking that this extra plumping up of the stash would help me feel more secure about RE...and it really does. But there is also a part of me that thinks why on earth would we "sail" when we are both at a place in our careers where we are being handed money to do jobs we can just about do in our sleep? And while our stash is growing in leaps and bounds?

When is enough, enough?!

Linda_Norway

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #38 on: March 14, 2019, 07:55:35 AM »
So DH just received his bonus (largest to date - it was almost half his salary). He has a ton of stock options vesting in May (probably equivalent to 75-80% of his salary.) Then he plans to sail off into the figurative sunset.

I had been thinking that this extra plumping up of the stash would help me feel more secure about RE...and it really does. But there is also a part of me that thinks why on earth would we "sail" when we are both at a place in our careers where we are being handed money to do jobs we can just about do in our sleep? And while our stash is growing in leaps and bounds?

When is enough, enough?!

Why don't you both start working part time? Then you might have the best of 2 worlds, having more time for yourself and still not closing the hose completely.

Enough is yearly spending level (on average over the years) x 25. Or x less, if you can draw on a later pension.

BlueSky45

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #39 on: March 14, 2019, 08:54:21 AM »
But there is also a part of me that thinks why on earth would we "sail" when we are both at a place in our careers where we are being handed money to do jobs we can just about do in our sleep? And while our stash is growing in leaps and bounds?

When is enough, enough?!

What is enough is the ultimate question.  Until you know what you want your life to look like/what your goals are for the rest of your life, you will never have "enough".  If leaving 5 Million dollars to the charity of your choice at your death is important to you, then you may not have enough.  If you want to spend time with friends and family and volunteer or work part time, then you have enough.  I don't think you're struggling with the money, I think you're struggling with how you want to spend your time.

I think about my "enough" a fair amount and it's helpful to think about the time you have left on this earth.  If I spend the next 20 years chasing money, then I won't have enough time left to live the life I'm excited to live.  I chose to leave my career at my peak earning time, because I value freedom, peace, relationships, etc. more than having more money.  The great thing is that the choice is up to you, and the really difficult thing is that the choice is up to you :)

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #40 on: March 14, 2019, 10:52:00 AM »

I think about my "enough" a fair amount and it's helpful to think about the time you have left on this earth.  If I spend the next 20 years chasing money, then I won't have enough time left to live the life I'm excited to live.  I chose to leave my career at my peak earning time, because I value freedom, peace, relationships, etc. more than having more money.  The great thing is that the choice is up to you, and the really difficult thing is that the choice is up to you :)

Exactly! And if leaving turns out to be the "wrong" choice, it's much harder to turn the hose back on after a few years at our age. In my 30s, I didn't think twice about leaving the workforce with a stash of $800k. When I divorced (divide by 2) and the stock market tanked, I had $300k and wasn't a bit concerned about jumping into a new career in my 40s. But in my mid 50s it seems daunting to imagine jumping back into the workforce in my 60s should things not work out. Freakin' golden handcuffs!

dougules

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #41 on: March 14, 2019, 03:17:33 PM »
So DH just received his bonus (largest to date - it was almost half his salary). He has a ton of stock options vesting in May (probably equivalent to 75-80% of his salary.) Then he plans to sail off into the figurative sunset.

I had been thinking that this extra plumping up of the stash would help me feel more secure about RE...and it really does. But there is also a part of me that thinks why on earth would we "sail" when we are both at a place in our careers where we are being handed money to do jobs we can just about do in our sleep? And while our stash is growing in leaps and bounds?

When is enough, enough?!

I'm glad things are going well.

If you had more money would you do with it?

kei te pai

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #42 on: March 15, 2019, 01:59:26 AM »
If you had one more year to LIVE what would you do with it?

NorthernMonkey

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #43 on: March 15, 2019, 08:03:55 AM »
So DH just received his bonus (largest to date - it was almost half his salary). He has a ton of stock options vesting in May (probably equivalent to 75-80% of his salary.) Then he plans to sail off into the figurative sunset.

I had been thinking that this extra plumping up of the stash would help me feel more secure about RE...and it really does. But there is also a part of me that thinks why on earth would we "sail" when we are both at a place in our careers where we are being handed money to do jobs we can just about do in our sleep? And while our stash is growing in leaps and bounds?

When is enough, enough?!

Money is a tool that allows you to do something. Right now, you're using it as a tool to persuade you to not do what you want to do.

You've managed to get yourself into a place which youre just as trapped by money as someone with their credit cards maxed.

More money will not make this better, any more than a card with a higher limit will help the obsessive spender.

You're approach of getting more money will not work, since it won't fix the problem

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #44 on: March 15, 2019, 08:14:37 AM »
Great questions. More money just means more security and freedom at this point. I don't think our plans improve drastically with one more year of work and the amount that would add to the stash. And if we knew we only had a few years left, we already would have retired. So I guess that means we have enough.

DH said last night that getting all this money is depressing, and I asked why. He said logically it makes sense to work another year even though his heart's not in it. That also tells me it's time to quit.

I think you hit the nail on the head, NorthernMonkey.

dougules

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #45 on: March 15, 2019, 04:09:55 PM »
Great questions. More money just means more security and freedom at this point. I don't think our plans improve drastically with one more year of work and the amount that would add to the stash. And if we knew we only had a few years left, we already would have retired. So I guess that means we have enough.

DH said last night that getting all this money is depressing, and I asked why. He said logically it makes sense to work another year even though his heart's not in it. That also tells me it's time to quit.

I think you hit the nail on the head, NorthernMonkey.

You have a crazy amount of security and freedom.  You could bump up your spending to $100k/year and still be among the more conservative people here in terms of SWR.  If you want to take yacht trips around the Mediterranean or fund several orphanages in Africa then you can keep working a few more years.  If you can't think of anything you might want or need that would put your spending over $100k/year, then every dollar you earn now is just an extra dollar you'll never have a chance to spend.   Logically it doesn't make sense to hoard way more than you need once you've got more than enough. 

Omy

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #46 on: March 15, 2019, 04:29:02 PM »
We both came to that conclusion today in different ways. I realized it after bouncing things off of you smart people. DH ran our numbers through his various spreadsheets and said there was a pretty good chance we'd have at least what we have now after 30 years of retirement. He said he had almost talked himself into working another year yesterday, but his spreadsheets brought him back to reality.

frugalecon

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #47 on: March 15, 2019, 07:28:22 PM »
PTF, since I can easily imagine myself in this situation in just a few years.

NorthernMonkey

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #48 on: March 16, 2019, 01:41:07 AM »
Your also seem to be working on the assumption that if you retire tomorrow, you can never ever get another job if things change.

Why not agree to have a trial run retirement, with a review after 6 months. If your situation has changed, you can both agree to go back to work for 6 months (Pro tip, with 2.5m it won't have changed)

xbdb

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Re: Serious "one more year" syndrome - advice appreciated
« Reply #49 on: March 16, 2019, 01:05:12 PM »
Stop trading time for money. You WILL die one day. If you are in a situation where you've hit your number, trying to hang on for one more year for more money you don't really need is foolish. You WILL REGRET sacrificing a "good" year of life where you were healthy enough to really enjoy it (so you can travel etc.) once you are having health issues later on in life (IF you make it that far). Think about being in hospice and asking yourself if waiting another year was the right decision.