I would like to use this thread for writing off my own concern...
Yesterday, my DH was very depressed. He ended up doing nothing at all on a Sunday and was crying on the couch at some point. When in bed, he asked whether I new what the meaning of life was. I answered that life doesn't have a particular meaning, but that we just need to make the best of it. I try to be helpful to other people, what makes me feel good.
Our situation: Still working, but intending to FIRE in a year or so. But if finances don't work out, than OMY to 2020.
DH is in the situation that he has always been a very sporty person, but has gotten heart flimmer issues, related to hard training. He often get those flimmers when he works out and at times they last very long, more than a day. Then he feels terrible. It happened again on Thursday after cycling to work. Lots of flimmers with 220 in pulse while cycling and a pulse 10-15 beats per minute lower than usual during the night. He spent the whole Friday at the doctor and at the hospital. When you don't die from your heart issue, the hospital don't prioritize you and you have to wait for hours.
Eventually he talked to them, they measured stuff. He has a second operation scheduled in December or January, but doesn't have an exact date. It has already been postponed since September. He does have a private health insurance as well, where he can be scheduled for operation in 2 weeks. But he prefers to go to the public hospital, where they has more knowledge and can perhaps improvise more than the scheduled operation. But it is hard to communicate with the hospital and schedule an appointment with a heart specialist. And he really has the need to talk about his issue, instead of just getting another operation.
I understand that this is extremely frustrating for him. In addition, it is now autumn. The leaves are falling and the view from the house is mostly gone. DH wants to go out of the house. He suggested to visit a flea market in our village, which we did on Saturday. Afterwards we walk in the forest, but it was a pretty short walk, as DH didn't find it very inspiring.
DH is very active with sewing clothes and laying them out on instagram. But that didn't inspire him this weekend either.
I tried to comfort him yesterday. Saying that everyone is allowed to have a depressed day occasionally. But when we went to bed he started asking for the meaning of life... He was also not looking forward to his work the next day. He was complaining about annoying customers and his employees wanting more salary, especially the one that deserves it least.
In the meantime, I spent my 3-day weekend mostly walking in the forest, on Friday with a new friend, and in the afternoon studying at home for my hobby. DH also has free diving as a hobby. He could have done that this weekend with some other people, but didn't dare to with his recent heart issue. I really hope his mood will blow over and that it is mostly due to the weather being a bit depressing (grey). He often has these moods in late autumn and also in spring when the snow is melting and the roads are very dirty.
From what I read in this thread, I think I should suggest he should have his testosterone level checked as a first step.
I also think that maybe he should seek some help with it. I will see if this lasts for a longer period. Just one weekend is nothing to worry about.
I really hope he doesn't blame me for having hobbies and being able to keep myself busy and happy. But at the moment I am a bit more in touch with new and familiar people than he is. When I asked, he said his depression had nothing to do with me. Based on his depression now, I hope this won't become worse when we FIRE. DH is also downsizing to 80% from next month, like I did some months ago.