Author Topic: I don't want to retire  (Read 20536 times)

Skyhigh

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I don't want to retire
« on: January 13, 2019, 10:59:51 PM »

I endured a poor performing career that forced me into a FIRE mentality early on in my life in order to survive. As a result, my career goals are largely unfulfilled. I spent my 20's and 30's living a minimalist lifestyle and perfected the art of living outside the rat race in order to keep my career dreams alive. Eventually, I built a business and real estate portfolio that sustain us  quite well. As a result, I do not have to pursue my career anymore but it feels like a wasted life. I spent my under-employed youth burning my days skiing, traveling, camping, and hiking to my heart's content. I worked seasonal jobs at ski resorts, built a cabin in Alaska, and worked as a fishing guide in the summer. The entire time all I wanted to do was to stick my head into the noose of corporate America but could not make it happen for myself. Now that my industry has recovered there are opportunities however I am too old and have a family to consider. 

I am very thankful for the skills I have learned, and the resources FIRE has provided.  I have much to share, however, I wish I had a chance to have accomplished my career dreams. Retirement is an uncomfortable thought for me. It makes me sad. I am not interested in typical retirement activities. I wish I could get past it. I have no other choice. FIRE feels like unused potential.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2019, 11:08:22 PM by Skyhigh »

patrickza

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2019, 11:45:26 PM »
Sounds like a youth well spent to me.

jim555

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2019, 12:01:24 AM »
No one is making you retire.  Keep working if you don't like retirement.

reeshau

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2019, 02:44:00 AM »
You have experienced so much, but your expressed dream sounds so...traditional.  As if it has not evolved or matured along with your experience.  Is it the sense of experience you think you are missing?  As in, you want to actually see how you would decorate a cubicle?  Or is it contribution?  Because, if you were willing to explore the possibilities, there are a lot of ways to contribute beyond a typical rat race office job.  Volunteer.  Consult.  Teach.  You are where you are, and there are a lot more ways to be productive than to go through an Indeed job search.  Make use of them, since you have a lot less riding on this, financially, than others.  That is a distinct advantage.

FreshlyFIREd

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2019, 02:54:02 AM »
... my career goals are largely unfulfilled ... Eventually, I built a business and real estate portfolio that sustain us  quite well ... it feels like a wasted life ... The entire time all I wanted to do was to stick my head into the noose of corporate America but could not make it happen for myself ... however I am too old and have a family to consider. 

... I wish I had a chance to have accomplished my career dreams. Retirement is an uncomfortable thought for me. It makes me sad. I am not interested in typical retirement activities. I wish I could get past it. I have no other choice ...

I think counseling might be able to help you either: accept your current position with a more positive outlook - or - help you work with the conditions you find yourself in and re-align the possible career dreams that can be still realized.

Gray Matter

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2019, 04:31:42 AM »
... my career goals are largely unfulfilled ... Eventually, I built a business and real estate portfolio that sustain us  quite well ... it feels like a wasted life ... The entire time all I wanted to do was to stick my head into the noose of corporate America but could not make it happen for myself ... however I am too old and have a family to consider. 

... I wish I had a chance to have accomplished my career dreams. Retirement is an uncomfortable thought for me. It makes me sad. I am not interested in typical retirement activities. I wish I could get past it. I have no other choice ...

I think counseling might be able to help you either: accept your current position with a more positive outlook - or - help you work with the conditions you find yourself in and re-align the possible career dreams that can be still realized.

I agree with FreshelyFIREd and reeshau, in that what you're describing sound less like "unfulfilled dreams" and more like existential angst.  What is it that these career goals represent to you?  What do you think they would give you that you don't already have in your life?  Are these feelings just part of the relatively normal mid-life realizations that certain things are never going to happen in your life, coming to recognize your own (and life's) limitations, finding that (some of) the things you thought would be meaningful really aren't, and having to find new things/perspectives in order to be fulfilled in the second half of your life?  I believe this is a normal, developmental process.  Therapy or counseling is certainly not the only way to explore these things, but it can be very helpful.

soccerluvof4

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2019, 04:56:43 AM »
Perhaps its a simple as focusing on trying and doing the things your still capable of doing as you seem to have many skills, as opposed to focusing on the things you cant change in your life. Seems to me you lived a great life so far that many would love to have lived. No reason to retire with skills you have.

matchewed

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2019, 05:01:54 AM »
What does a traditional career have to do with traditional retirement?

If you are uninterested in typical retirement activities do not participate in them.

Seems simple enough.

As for regrets. Fuck 'em. They're not particularly useful feelings to guide your actions.

Metalcat

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2019, 05:11:15 AM »
I'm really not getting what your issue is...?

If you want to work, then work. There are countless opportunities to work in amazing ways, especially if you don't really need money.

Unless, are you saying you want some traditional high-pressure, long hours corporate job just so that you can prove that you can climb the corporate ladder?
If so...whyyyyyyyyyy?

If that's not it, then why not start consulting? Volunteer your professional level skills to a non profit? Just start networking and see what bubbles up.

If you have a valuable skill, then I guarantee there are people out there who will want to work with you.

Have fun with this. Your life sounds fun, why do you sound stressed. I seriously don't get it.

ROF Expat

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2019, 07:39:15 AM »
Do your "career dreams" of "sticking your head in the noose of corporate America" have any basis in reality or are you just pining for some vague achievements you feel you haven't reached?  Do you have friends or acquaintances  who spent thirty years in that corporate life who love it?  I'm sure there are some people like that, but there are probably many more who lived that life and didn't.  If you worked as a fishing guide, I would bet you guided a lot of well-paid corporate types with plenty of money, but only a week or two of vacation every year.  I would be willing to bet that many of them told you they dreamed of trading places with you, or at least a retirement in which they'd spend a lot more time fishing. 

If you don't want to retire, don't.  Life is short.  Find ways to do the things that make you happy, especially now that you've reached a stage where money isn't a significant issue. 

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2019, 08:07:34 AM »
I do have friends who were able to achieve their career goals who are now disappointed with their accomplishments. I don't have the heart of an adventurer, however, and was (am)uncomfortable the entire time. I envied those with corporate badges, parking spaces, structured retirement plans and the like. Somehow I instinctively knew that there was a better way and unwillingly followed that.

Not only do I miss a career that never really happened but am melancholy for what feels like a wasted life.  My mothers family were all self-reliant small business owners and existed in a world of their own choosing outside corporate America. My fathers family were all accomplished Navy officers. They had pictures of grand ships on their walls, told exciting stories, and knew the satisfaction of professional accomplishments and accolades. Theirs was a life of servitude and sacrifice.

I wanted a life that was similar to my fathers but found myself sliding down the path of FIRE. I don't share in the satisfaction that comes from the abillity to do nothing with my life. My fathers relatives however, all had broken relationsihps, few to no children, suffered from alchoholism and stress related ailments. I supppose the grass is always greener. I wish I had the chance to pursue my career dreams.

SnackDog

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #11 on: January 14, 2019, 08:12:08 AM »
I had a vaguely similar youth spent in college and graduate school, slacking off, partying and traveling the world for field work and conferences. It was my "retirement" years while I was in great shape.  I finally grew up and graduated and got a real job at age 30.   I've been working a bit over 20 years and we are well past FI so frugality belt is loosening, but work is fun so I'll keep it up.  I've gotten most of the travel and partying out of my system ages ago so retirement seems like sort of aimless volunteer or me-focused nonsense.

Metalcat

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2019, 08:57:08 AM »
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« Last Edit: November 06, 2022, 06:35:32 PM by Malcat »

LifeHappens

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2019, 09:00:30 AM »
I could be completely off base, but what I'm reading is you have been a pretty successful entrepreneur, but you feel like you've missed out on the external validation of a military career or the corporate workplace.

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #14 on: January 14, 2019, 09:32:40 AM »
I could be completely off base, but what I'm reading is you have been a pretty successful entrepreneur, but you feel like you've missed out on the external validation of a military career or the corporate workplace.

Yes, FIRE seems like the easy way out of contribution and accomplishment.

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #15 on: January 14, 2019, 09:40:19 AM »
I do have friends who were able to achieve their career goals who are now disappointed with their accomplishments. I don't have the heart of an adventurer, however, and was (am)uncomfortable the entire time. I envied those with corporate badges, parking spaces, structured retirement plans and the like. Somehow I instinctively knew that there was a better way and unwillingly followed that.

Not only do I miss a career that never really happened but am melancholy for what feels like a wasted life.  My mothers family were all self-reliant small business owners and existed in a world of their own choosing outside corporate America. My fathers family were all accomplished Navy officers. They had pictures of grand ships on their walls, told exciting stories, and knew the satisfaction of professional accomplishments and accolades. Theirs was a life of servitude and sacrifice.

I wanted a life that was similar to my fathers but found myself sliding down the path of FIRE. I don't share in the satisfaction that comes from the abillity to do nothing with my life. My fathers relatives however, all had broken relationsihps, few to no children, suffered from alchoholism and stress related ailments. I supppose the grass is always greener. I wish I had the chance to pursue my career dreams.

Dude, seriously...you need to find some resources to learn how to live a more fulfilled and grateful life.

If you can't be happy with what you have now, a corporate parking pass sure as hell won't make you happy. Literally nothing that you are saying that you are missing is the stuff that makes people happy.

If you want a corporate job, then go ahead and work in the corporate world, you can easily do this on a part time basis if you really want to. You may not be able to waltz into it, but Iif it's what you really want, then you can eeeaaaasily make this happen with a bit of leg work.

The hard truth is though: you will NEVER be happy until you can learn to be happy with what you have. As it stands, you may enter the corporate world and then suddenly become envious of corporate people with executive titles and expense accounts. Then if you were exec level, you might be envious of those ultra execs who fly around in private planes, and some of those ultra execs might envy people who have less demanding careers and more time with their families, and on and on...

There's always something or someone to envy, and I guarantee that your life is envied by many, so take some time to embrace how overwhelmingly fortunate you are.

If once you learn how incredibly lucky you are and you feel thoroughly grateful for everything you have, then at that point, start looking at what you may want to add to your life/career in order to add richness and satisfaction.

I agree, we all must become satisfied with what we have. My issue is that by accepting what we get feels like giving up. It feels like a failure. It seems like taking the easy road. Most of what I do now to support myself I could have done right out of high school. My potential is wasted. The lack of professional accomplishment is the opportunity cost of FIRE.

It feels like I never got started in life before taking the easy road.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2019, 09:42:55 AM by Skyhigh »

LifeHappens

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #16 on: January 14, 2019, 09:42:22 AM »
I could be completely off base, but what I'm reading is you have been a pretty successful entrepreneur, but you feel like you've missed out on the external validation of a military career or the corporate workplace.

Yes, FIRE seems like the easy way out of contribution and accomplishment.
There are many, many examples of people on this forum FIRE-ing so they can contribute and accomplish MORE.

BPA

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #17 on: January 14, 2019, 09:44:29 AM »
I could be completely off base, but what I'm reading is you have been a pretty successful entrepreneur, but you feel like you've missed out on the external validation of a military career or the corporate workplace.

Yes, FIRE seems like the easy way out of contribution and accomplishment.

If you feel this way (which is your right), why do you bother belonging to a community like this one? Wouldn't it be more productive to stick with corporate ambitions and find a different online community catering to that? I am not interested in fishing or motocross, so I don't belong to those forums (although if other people do, that's their prerogative).

Surely you aren't trying to convince the rest of us that we should think like you do. Because the vast majority of us who are FIREd actually do enjoy our lives and don't have your issues.

No one here is forcing you to FIRE. You are capable of exercising free will in this regard.

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #18 on: January 14, 2019, 09:45:59 AM »
I could be completely off base, but what I'm reading is you have been a pretty successful entrepreneur, but you feel like you've missed out on the external validation of a military career or the corporate workplace.

Yes, FIRE seems like the easy way out of contribution and accomplishment.
There are many, many examples of people on this forum FIRE-ing so they can contribute and accomplish MORE.

As an individual, I can buy a canoe and paddle the lake. As a member of an organization, I could command an ocean liner.  More is relative. I could take more time off. I could go back to filling my days skiing, however, it does not feel like more to me.

matchewed

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #19 on: January 14, 2019, 09:47:14 AM »
I could be completely off base, but what I'm reading is you have been a pretty successful entrepreneur, but you feel like you've missed out on the external validation of a military career or the corporate workplace.

Yes, FIRE seems like the easy way out of contribution and accomplishment.
There are many, many examples of people on this forum FIRE-ing so they can contribute and accomplish MORE.

As an individual, I can buy a canoe and paddle the lake. As a member of an organization, I could command an ocean liner.  More is relative. I could take more time off. I could go back to filling my days skiing, however, it does not feel like more to me.

Right but that's not what others are necessarily doing when they FIRE. It seems you are constraining yourself to one or few options rather than seeing FIRE as providing greater opportunity not lesser.

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #20 on: January 14, 2019, 09:48:10 AM »
I could be completely off base, but what I'm reading is you have been a pretty successful entrepreneur, but you feel like you've missed out on the external validation of a military career or the corporate workplace.

Yes, FIRE seems like the easy way out of contribution and accomplishment.

If you feel this way (which is your right), why do you bother belonging to a community like this one? Wouldn't it be more productive to stick with corporate ambitions and find a different online community catering to that? I am not interested in fishing or motocross, so I don't belong to those forums (although if other people do, that's their prerogative).

Surely you aren't trying to convince the rest of us that we should think like you do. Because the vast majority of us who are FIREd actually do enjoy our lives and don't have your issues.

No one here is forcing you to FIRE. You are capable of exercising free will in this regard.

I have a lot of experience with FIRE and believe that I have information to share with others as how to get here. Others here who have walked a career path may have some information to help me to find peace with this life.

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #21 on: January 14, 2019, 09:49:20 AM »
I could be completely off base, but what I'm reading is you have been a pretty successful entrepreneur, but you feel like you've missed out on the external validation of a military career or the corporate workplace.

Yes, FIRE seems like the easy way out of contribution and accomplishment.
There are many, many examples of people on this forum FIRE-ing so they can contribute and accomplish MORE.

As an individual, I can buy a canoe and paddle the lake. As a member of an organization, I could command an ocean liner.  More is relative. I could take more time off. I could go back to filling my days skiing, however, it does not feel like more to me.

Right but that's not what others are necessarily doing when they FIRE. It seems you are constraining yourself to one or few options rather than seeing FIRE as providing greater opportunity not lesser.

There is an opportunity cost to FIRE that should be examined.

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #22 on: January 14, 2019, 09:55:07 AM »
Sounds like you spent your life fulfilling yourself, a lifetime making yourself happy, a lifetime enriching yourself... instead of fulfilling/helping other people. 

Maybe this is why you feel so empty?

Exactly, to what end does it serve this existence to spend your days in idle self-indulgent pursuits?

Metalcat

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #23 on: January 14, 2019, 09:57:30 AM »
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« Last Edit: November 06, 2022, 06:36:08 PM by Malcat »

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #24 on: January 14, 2019, 10:17:43 AM »
I do have friends who were able to achieve their career goals who are now disappointed with their accomplishments. I don't have the heart of an adventurer, however, and was (am)uncomfortable the entire time. I envied those with corporate badges, parking spaces, structured retirement plans and the like. Somehow I instinctively knew that there was a better way and unwillingly followed that.

Not only do I miss a career that never really happened but am melancholy for what feels like a wasted life.  My mothers family were all self-reliant small business owners and existed in a world of their own choosing outside corporate America. My fathers family were all accomplished Navy officers. They had pictures of grand ships on their walls, told exciting stories, and knew the satisfaction of professional accomplishments and accolades. Theirs was a life of servitude and sacrifice.

I wanted a life that was similar to my fathers but found myself sliding down the path of FIRE. I don't share in the satisfaction that comes from the abillity to do nothing with my life. My fathers relatives however, all had broken relationsihps, few to no children, suffered from alchoholism and stress related ailments. I supppose the grass is always greener. I wish I had the chance to pursue my career dreams.

Dude, seriously...you need to find some resources to learn how to live a more fulfilled and grateful life.

If you can't be happy with what you have now, a corporate parking pass sure as hell won't make you happy. Literally nothing that you are saying that you are missing is the stuff that makes people happy.

If you want a corporate job, then go ahead and work in the corporate world, you can easily do this on a part time basis if you really want to. You may not be able to waltz into it, but Iif it's what you really want, then you can eeeaaaasily make this happen with a bit of leg work.

The hard truth is though: you will NEVER be happy until you can learn to be happy with what you have. As it stands, you may enter the corporate world and then suddenly become envious of corporate people with executive titles and expense accounts. Then if you were exec level, you might be envious of those ultra execs who fly around in private planes, and some of those ultra execs might envy people who have less demanding careers and more time with their families, and on and on...

There's always something or someone to envy, and I guarantee that your life is envied by many, so take some time to embrace how overwhelmingly fortunate you are.

If once you learn how incredibly lucky you are and you feel thoroughly grateful for everything you have, then at that point, start looking at what you may want to add to your life/career in order to add richness and satisfaction.

I agree, we all must become satisfied with what we have. My issue is that by accepting what we get feels like giving up. It feels like a failure. It seems like taking the easy road. Most of what I do now to support myself I could have done right out of high school. My potential is wasted. The lack of professional accomplishment is the opportunity cost of FIRE.

It feels like I never got started in life before taking the easy road.

So...?

FIRE has nothing to do with what you choose to do in life. If you want to accomplish more in the way of professional work, then go ahead and accomplished more. No one is stopping you.

MMM did his best work after "retiring" and so can you if you want to. I truly don't understand what you are complaining about. Is someone holding a gun to your head and saying that you aren't allowed to do any more work of any value??

I personally completely understand the drive to do meaningful work, for some of us it's critical for happiness. However, no one is stopping you from doing whatever you want.

My point is that you need to get over whatever weird hangups you have about your career history and move on with learning to be grateful and happy for what you have otherwise no type of work will ever actually satisfy you.

Get your head in a good place, then figure out what you want to do, and then do that thing.

Seriously, what on earth is stopping you?
FIRE isn't about not working, it's about having the freedom to do whatever you want to do. If that's work, then fucking work. Why not?

Like PP suggested, maybe spend some of your abundant free time volunteering. Not only will it help give you some perspective and gratitude, it will allow you to use whatever talents you have, be as useful as you want to be, and will network you with other amazing people who are doing some serious high level stuff that you might be able to network your way into.

If you do actually have valuable skills, a non profit is guaranteed a good avenue for you to explore because they will take whatever you have to offer.

If you don't want to waste your potential then don't bloody waste it. Just do something.

I have spent many years volunteering for things.

What is stopping me is that I am too old. Now that there is opportunity my industry has moved on to the next generation. These days my hobby is going to job fairs and applying for dream careers that my generation is now considered to be too old for. I still try though, and have two more job fairs on the schedule this winter. It is incredibly unlikely that I will succeed but it feels better to try anyway.

My point is that by cutting ones potential early, either by choice or force, it has a potential consequence that needs to be considered. I can't get those days back.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2019, 10:32:51 AM by Skyhigh »

bacchi

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #25 on: January 14, 2019, 10:32:34 AM »
Sounds like you spent your life fulfilling yourself, a lifetime making yourself happy, a lifetime enriching yourself... instead of fulfilling/helping other people. 

Maybe this is why you feel so empty?

Exactly, to what end does it serve this existence to spend your days in idle self-indulgent pursuits?

It beats spending my days in a cubicle in worthless, corporate-indulgent, pursuits.

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #26 on: January 14, 2019, 10:33:52 AM »
Sounds like you spent your life fulfilling yourself, a lifetime making yourself happy, a lifetime enriching yourself... instead of fulfilling/helping other people. 

Maybe this is why you feel so empty?

Exactly, to what end does it serve this existence to spend your days in idle self-indulgent pursuits?

It beats spending my days in a cubicle in worthless, corporate-indulgent, pursuits.

Perhaps,,,

mxt0133

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #27 on: January 14, 2019, 10:56:52 AM »
I have spent many years volunteering for things.

What is stopping me is that I am too old. Now that there is opportunity my industry has moved on to the next generation. These days my hobby is going to job fairs and applying for dream careers that my generation is now considered to be too old for. I still try though, and have two more job fairs on the schedule this winter. It is incredibly unlikely that I will succeed but it feels better to try anyway.

My point is that by cutting ones potential early, either by choice or force, it has a potential consequence that needs to be considered. I can't get those days back.

I hear what you are saying and can relate.  A few years after getting my first corporate job I was already coasting, I could have comfortably stayed at that company for the next 20-30 years doing the bare minimum and have a very traditional corporate drone career.  However, like you are feeling now I felt I needed more of a challenge and see I could work in a more fast pace industry.  So I tried to get a job in financial technology, I applied to dozens of jobs, went on a lot of interviews only to be rejected by all of them in the beginning.  It went for about two years until I finally landed one.  I stayed there for a few years increasing my salary and title, until it dawned on me that it was never going to be enough and I did not want to end up like my bosses.  Who worked 60-80 weeks, were having martial issues, health, issues, drug addictions, ect.  What sealed the deal for me was when my CEO said in a meeting, "this is 2008, there is no such thing as a vacation." when one of his VPs was not present for a meeting right before Thanksgiving.

So like you said the grass is always greener on the other side, but I get that you still at least wanted to experience it.  Like other have said, try and make peace with your current situation and your past, however that doesn't mean you have to give up.  You only fail if you give up.  As long as you keep trying, by that I mean be realistic about your goals, which means you might have to adjust your original goals, hopefully you can be at peace and content that you never gave up.

katscratch

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #28 on: January 14, 2019, 11:01:36 AM »
I think some of what you're feeling is something a lot of people go through at some point in adult life.

I am also someone who is not "living to my potential." Goals I had early on fell by the wayside due to external circumstances. The family life I had always envisioned didn't materialize the way I thought it would. I'm now in a place in my own life where both my working and personal days are nearly the opposite of what I'd thought they would be at this age. I actually currently have a friend doing something that used to be an attainable goal of mine and am surprised by the intensity of envy I've felt.

I've also gone through emotional downturns where I feel something akin to having just missed the Right Path. More than once in the past ten years.

Your comments sound as though you attribute how you feel entirely to being FIREd. Perhaps that's true. Perhaps it's just the point in your life where you'd be questioning past choices anyway. I think bringing this up in the context of "anyone else feeling this?" is appropriate for this forum, and it's been said many times that FIRE is not an answer to fulfillment but a means.

The question now for you, then, is where do you go from here? There are loads of people who face the latter part of life under different circumstances than they'd planned. It's up to you to find a way forward that resonates with you and fills your needs.

Metalcat

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #29 on: January 14, 2019, 11:11:38 AM »
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« Last Edit: November 06, 2022, 06:36:37 PM by Malcat »

Dee18

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #30 on: January 14, 2019, 11:20:24 AM »
I am wondering how old you are.  Whatever the age is, google "people who did great things after __"
I teach graduate professional school. I am always thrilled when I have a retiree in the class (and I mean someone who retired at ages 55-65).  They usually go on to have great careers because they have the maturity that inspires confidence.

matchewed

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #31 on: January 14, 2019, 11:27:16 AM »
I could be completely off base, but what I'm reading is you have been a pretty successful entrepreneur, but you feel like you've missed out on the external validation of a military career or the corporate workplace.

Yes, FIRE seems like the easy way out of contribution and accomplishment.
There are many, many examples of people on this forum FIRE-ing so they can contribute and accomplish MORE.

As an individual, I can buy a canoe and paddle the lake. As a member of an organization, I could command an ocean liner.  More is relative. I could take more time off. I could go back to filling my days skiing, however, it does not feel like more to me.

Right but that's not what others are necessarily doing when they FIRE. It seems you are constraining yourself to one or few options rather than seeing FIRE as providing greater opportunity not lesser.

There is an opportunity cost to FIRE that should be examined.

It is not unique to FIRE, there is an opportunity cost to any choice. FIRE buys you more options so arguably it is a lesser cost.

Miss Piggy

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #32 on: January 14, 2019, 11:49:15 AM »
I could be completely off base, but what I'm reading is you have been a pretty successful entrepreneur, but you feel like you've missed out on the external validation of a military career or the corporate workplace.

Yes, FIRE seems like the easy way out of contribution and accomplishment.

Speaking as someone who has spent a lot of time in the corporate world, I can tell you that corporate life doesn't come with a sense of contribution and accomplishment. I think many here would agree.

Creating a 40-slide PowerPoint deck gives me zero sense of fulfillment.

Sitting in meetings for 6 hours every day doesn't help me feel like I've accomplished anything.

Watching our CEO's speeches does not lead to feeling like our company contributes to the greater good, no matter how much Kool-Aid they serve at the meetings.

I would estimate that only about 5% to 10% of my corporate work leaves me feeling like I have made some sort of difference. But hell, it pays well and enables me to do other stuff that matters to me.

I don't mean to minimize your angst, but I'm sad for you because you feel you've missed out on some significant piece of your life by not actively participating in corporate bullshit. Honestly, most of us are here on this forum because we've had our fill of it. You've accomplished a lot in your life, and I hope you get to a place of comfort with it.


Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #33 on: January 14, 2019, 01:47:34 PM »
[quote author=Skyhigh

I have spent many years volunteering for things.

What is stopping me is that I am too old. Now that there is opportunity my industry has moved on to the next generation. These days my hobby is going to job fairs and applying for dream careers that my generation is now considered to be too old for. I still try though, and have two more job fairs on the schedule this winter. It is incredibly unlikely that I will succeed but it feels better to try anyway.

My point is that by cutting ones potential early, either by choice or force, it has a potential consequence that needs to be considered. I can't get those days back.

If you have potential and marketable skills then you should be able to network your way into the kind of work that you want to do. Your age also shouldn't be a hindrance either.

Again, you may not be able to saunter into a full time professional corporate job, but as I said, if you have the skill, then someone out there should be happy to have you do it, especially if you aren't forced to make a living off of it.

That's why I mention non profit work because so many of them can't afford proper professional level services and will happily let you offer your skills. I've seen people gain incredible experience and exposure and build careers through doing work with charities that no corporation would actually hire them for at the beginning.

Have you approached the non profits that you volunteer with and offered professional level work? Have you networked through your volunteer activities with the executive board members? Those are typically amazing connections to make as most major non-profits have huge hitters on their boards.

Sure, you may have to think outside the box, but you have every single opportunity for fulfillment available to you.
[/quote]

I have made an art out of networking, going to job fairs, and volunteering. My age is a major restriction keeping me from my dream. Another issue is that if I were to move from my present location my business and family would suffer.  I can't risk the security I have for the thin promise of achieving my career goals.

If I were not blessed with FIRE my career would be the priority. The family would move.

FIREby35

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #34 on: January 15, 2019, 06:52:34 AM »
Interesting thread Skyhigh. It seems much has been said and you seem to have a response for everyone that justifies staying your current mental loop. That's ok. I'm not dissing. But maybe you should notice that for yourself.

I would say it looks like you are dealing with a lack of contentment with life. Or, maybe, a sense of emptiness which can come when a person achieves all their goals and doesn't know what to "do next." For my own part, I felt that way a few years back when I was basically FI and had gained all kinds of worldy "achievements." But, what I learned is that satisfaction doesn't come from external accolades and achievements. It took me longer than it should have to come to that conclusion, I think.

If you've got time, maybe you should try asking what other human beings throughout history, time, culture and geography have done to find peace of mind. For me, that was reading books on spirituality and searching for common themes across history, time, culture and geography (i.e. searching for the perennial philosophy).

Good luck to you and, if you haven't noticed by all the very well-intentioned and thoughtful responses, you are not alone.

WalkaboutStache

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #35 on: January 15, 2019, 09:51:01 PM »

As an individual, I can buy a canoe and paddle the lake. As a member of an organization, I could command an ocean liner.  More is relative. I could take more time off. I could go back to filling my days skiing, however, it does not feel like more to me.

No you couldn't.  Commanding an ocean liner is definitely cool (even when it is stressful), but you are looking at the rewards and not seeing the work.  Every commander has countless hours of numbing paperwork in his/her past, years of dealing with shitty officers and bureaucrats.  Innumerable moments of holding their tongues when some higher up spouts imbecilities that makes their hair stand on end.

What you are saying is that you were born in Brazil but want to be a ski instructor without ever putting a pair on, and by the way, also hating cold weather.  You want to be the guy who is a real estate entrepreneur starting from humble beginnings but who does not know one side of a nail from another and hates manual labor.  You want to go straight to the top but that is not how stuff works. 

The accomplishments are cool, but you did not have the inclination for that life and in order to accomplish those things you need to love the stuff, to live and breathe numbers or law or marketing or whatever it is that allows you to look at a computer screen for hours on end while you split ever narrower strands of hair.  What is more, that reward is uncertain since  very few people get the accolades (or if many get them, they ain't that special to start with).  You said it right - the grass is always greener (but it ain't).  Let me put it face-punchedly: you would not get the accolades because you did not have the inclination and passion for piloting desks and you would most likely have ended up miserable, wishing you had spent your youth skying and dreaming of building a cabin in Alaska.

You chased your car and caught the tire, so it is natural that you are wondering if this is all there is.  Catching a tire is a hell of an accomplishment and you have done well, dawg.  Pining for a different tire on a car that sped away will not make you happy.  Figure your stuff out - your past will not return, so you need to find out what your future holds.  If you are really hell bent on corporate life, go take a financial accounting or tax law class and figure out how much you really like the stuff.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2019, 10:08:09 PM by WalkaboutStache »

Dibdab

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #36 on: January 16, 2019, 03:54:25 AM »
I really feel Skyhigh has an anti-fire agenda for some reason.  Complaining about having to fill meaningless days skiing??  Really...give me a break!!!!

FreshlyFIREd

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #37 on: January 16, 2019, 05:26:17 AM »
As an individual, I can buy a canoe and paddle the lake. As a member of an organization, I could command an ocean liner.  More is relative. I could take more time off. I could go back to filling my days skiing, however, it does not feel like more to me.

One thing that you fail to mention is: How many great, talented individuals within an organization never get their turn to "command an ocean liner"? Think about professional sports and you can see how many get passed by. Anyone who has worked in corporate America has witnessed tons of people who get passed by. And how are you at politicking? Corporate America is full of "cliques", yes men, and the ass kissers. Are you willing to compromise your principles and kiss ass to realize your goal of "commanding the liner"? I have known those who had talents and chose not to kiss ass - only to be left behind, and I have known those who were worthless - but were great ass kissers that went straight to "commanding the liner".

The thing about corporate America that maybe you have not experienced is: You only have limited input to your success at a corporation. In a corporation, the ones above you have more control of your progress than you do.


FreshlyFIREd

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #38 on: January 16, 2019, 05:36:12 AM »
I envied those with corporate badges, parking spaces, structured retirement plans and the like.

A corporate badge is a piece of paper enclosed in plastic - nothing more, nothing less. A printer can make one up for you for less than $5.

A parking space is a piece of concrete a little larger than a car. I imagine that you have at least one where you live. A internet connection, $20, and an Amazon account can get a personalized sign to accompany the parking space.

Structured retirement plan???? If you are already FIRE, WTF??? That's like saying, I don't want a RED Porsche, I want a BLUE Porsche.   

brute

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #39 on: January 16, 2019, 06:06:48 AM »
I kind of get where you're coming from. Is it cool that I'm the youngest principal scientist in a massive organization? Yes, absolutely. Do I feel any more fulfilled than I did before? Only for about 15-20 minutes a month. Fulfillment has to come from within. External motivation is incredibly temporary. I was happy for a couple hours when I was offered this position. Now I'm brutally tearing myself apart that I'm not already Chief Scientist. I want that bigger office. I want that private plane. God damn I want that expense account.

But I'm actually more fulfilled when I spend an evening with my wife and our friends playing a new board game or take time to hike and forage for mushrooms and other edibles. Still, I don't think I would find those things satisfying without the rest of the things in my life. Balance is necessary. So, go get a job. Get yelled at my a manager for doing a great job but the manager's cat pissed in his shoes. Get passed over for 20 promotions because someone more attractive or with a better family name happened to wander by the boss's office. Get that ONE chance to make it, work 100 hour weeks for 8 months until you're in the hospital but you finally earn the respect of the directors. Work that for a while, get power, step on the little guys, repeat the cycle.

Or, start your own thing. Make it into the business you want it to be. Be the CEO, grow it until it's a multi-million dollar, multinational firm.

Or, whatever man. You aren't too old, unless you've decided you are. But if you're putting up this much resistance to being told you can, you'll never make it in a structured environment where you're constantly told you can't.

matchewed

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #40 on: January 16, 2019, 06:37:41 AM »
It also sounds like you're advocating some sort of maximizing philosophy. There may be times when pursuing such a framework is beneficial but maximizing comes with many problems as well.

This hearkens back to your "more" comment. More is not the thing that should be answered. Enough should be the thing that is answered.

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #41 on: January 16, 2019, 09:14:00 AM »
I am all about FIRE. It has been my primary focus for most of my life. In my case, however, it was out of need than as a chosen philosophy. I never got to experience the rush of conspicuous consumption. My career never blossomed into the golden handcuffs that many of you have experienced. I spent decades pursuing an underperforming professional dream that left me broke and unsatisfied. I developed my FIRE mentality out of a need to survive not as an escape from the rat race.

As a result, I feel like I wasted my life. It seems to me that FIRE provided an option to avoid much of the professional satisfaction that many of you may take as for granted. My dream was to become a legacy airline pilot. I went to college, spent many tens of thousands on flight training and wasted decades of my young life on dead end low paying jobs trying to get my break. Much of my 20's were spent under or unemployed. With nothing to lose it is easy to blow a winter on the ski hill. (I don't even like skiing all that much.) Working in the ski industry was a seasonal job that looks like a fun lifestyle. Homelessness can be redefined as an extended camping trip. My youth was one of frugality and it sucked.

My father enjoyed a high performing career. His income right out of college massively outstripped his ability to spend it as a single person. He enjoyed his 20's by indulging himself into whatever simple passion that caught his eye. Over time he got married and his income thinned as children came along. His dream job slowly became a drudgery. Though he still helped to put a man on the moon. His name appears in a few textbooks and trade journals. His work is still being used today. What he did mattered to the world around him. His need to produce an income helped to produce content that this world needed.

I became self-reliant in my upper 30's after being laid off from an airline job and it effectively removed me from the workplace. It killed my drive to go through the hell that it is to work in a high-pressure industry. My family became comfortable in our country town. It is difficult to dislodge from the allure of an easier modest life. My issue is that are we not placed upon this earth for more than merely existing? It seems that FIRE can render someone inert. Many of you here have fantastic careers. You have skills and abilities that the world needs in abundance.

I know how to achieve FIRE and am willing to share that information. The word "retire" though suggests that there needs to be a career of some sort that precedes financial independence. I never was able to experience the satisfaction that must come from reaching ones professional goals and it makes me sad. It is unsatisfying to me that I can make more driving a lawn mower in a day than as a captain of a 737.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2019, 09:15:34 AM by Skyhigh »

matchewed

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #42 on: January 16, 2019, 09:50:33 AM »
I am all about FIRE. It has been my primary focus for most of my life. In my case, however, it was out of need than as a chosen philosophy. I never got to experience the rush of conspicuous consumption. My career never blossomed into the golden handcuffs that many of you have experienced. I spent decades pursuing an underperforming professional dream that left me broke and unsatisfied. I developed my FIRE mentality out of a need to survive not as an escape from the rat race.

As a result, I feel like I wasted my life. It seems to me that FIRE provided an option to avoid much of the professional satisfaction that many of you may take as for granted. My dream was to become a legacy airline pilot. I went to college, spent many tens of thousands on flight training and wasted decades of my young life on dead end low paying jobs trying to get my break. Much of my 20's were spent under or unemployed. With nothing to lose it is easy to blow a winter on the ski hill. (I don't even like skiing all that much.) Working in the ski industry was a seasonal job that looks like a fun lifestyle. Homelessness can be redefined as an extended camping trip. My youth was one of frugality and it sucked.

My father enjoyed a high performing career. His income right out of college massively outstripped his ability to spend it as a single person. He enjoyed his 20's by indulging himself into whatever simple passion that caught his eye. Over time he got married and his income thinned as children came along. His dream job slowly became a drudgery. Though he still helped to put a man on the moon. His name appears in a few textbooks and trade journals. His work is still being used today. What he did mattered to the world around him. His need to produce an income helped to produce content that this world needed.

I became self-reliant in my upper 30's after being laid off from an airline job and it effectively removed me from the workplace. It killed my drive to go through the hell that it is to work in a high-pressure industry. My family became comfortable in our country town. It is difficult to dislodge from the allure of an easier modest life. My issue is that are we not placed upon this earth for more than merely existing? It seems that FIRE can render someone inert. Many of you here have fantastic careers. You have skills and abilities that the world needs in abundance.

I know how to achieve FIRE and am willing to share that information. The word "retire" though suggests that there needs to be a career of some sort that precedes financial independence. I never was able to experience the satisfaction that must come from reaching ones professional goals and it makes me sad. It is unsatisfying to me that I can make more driving a lawn mower in a day than as a captain of a 737.

But ones self worth needs not to be tied down to a career or in simpler terms we don't need to be defined by what we're paid to do. You can still do without the need for a career.

Sure FIRE can render one inert, so can a corporate environment. FIRE is not merely existing if you don't want it to be.

You can make a mark without the career portion.

It sounds like you're having that existential dread of "what will be here of me when I'm gone?". On one hand whatever you choose to leave. On the other hand after a long enough time... well nothing or at the very least no one will be able to associate it with you. But raising your kids and making your world a better place through whatever means regardless of employment or not are way more impactful than aiding putting a man on the moon.

jim555

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #43 on: January 16, 2019, 09:51:56 AM »
Sounds more like grappling with the meaning of life and less like what it means to FIRE. 

LifeHappens

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #44 on: January 16, 2019, 09:57:58 AM »
You went for one of the hardest to obtain jobs. Legacy carrier airline pilot is right up there with Professional Athlete in selectivity and difficulty. You tried, you didn't make it. Lots and lots of other people tried and didn't make it. There is no shame in this.

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #45 on: January 16, 2019, 10:03:20 AM »
Sounds more like grappling with the meaning of life and less like what it means to FIRE.

I think it is connected. FIRE is a lifestyle. It is a choice.

matchewed

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #46 on: January 16, 2019, 10:37:05 AM »
Sounds more like grappling with the meaning of life and less like what it means to FIRE.

I think it is connected. FIRE is a lifestyle. It is a choice.

One which you seem to be stating is less value because you provide less impact.

Your assumption that there is less impact is where I believe most of us take issue. That is an incorrect assumption.

Skyhigh

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #47 on: January 16, 2019, 10:37:52 AM »
You went for one of the hardest to obtain jobs. Legacy carrier airline pilot is right up there with Professional Athlete in selectivity and difficulty. You tried, you didn't make it. Lots and lots of other people tried and didn't make it. There is no shame in this.

Aviation is a very difficult career indeed. In college we were told about the "pilot shortage" and were promised opportunity that did not materialize for us. Had I known what a folly it was I would have become an accountant instead. I never wanted to be poor for any reason. These days they are giving away jobs like candy. As a result, I want a do-over and have been diligently trying to get an airline job to no effect. I have an impressive resume though it seems they have moved on to successive generations. I attend job fairs and see the same sad silver-haired pilots who go home unwanted. It is a crushing defeat.

All my training, education, and experience was as a pilot. After getting laid off from my last airline with a family to support there were no other industries that had a use for me. I could not get an interview at Costco, on the city road crew, or at the grocery store. I had to work for myself and started building decks and mowing lawns. It then turned into building myself rental homes. Eventually I opened a property management company, general contractor business, and am presently in school to be a financial planner. I have staff now who help with the daily operations and I am free to pursure my professional dreams but they dont want us.

I have many pilot friends who are now financially independent entrepreneurs. Failed airline pilots are all over the place working as contractors, entreprenuers, authors, and a host of other self-created professions. Being useless to the outside world seems to be an important element in achineving FIRE. Without options one either suceeds or moves in with their parents. It is not fun for anyone and we all wish we could have achieved our flying dreams instead. (well one guy seems to like his real estate career) 




matchewed

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #48 on: January 16, 2019, 10:43:53 AM »
You went for one of the hardest to obtain jobs. Legacy carrier airline pilot is right up there with Professional Athlete in selectivity and difficulty. You tried, you didn't make it. Lots and lots of other people tried and didn't make it. There is no shame in this.

Aviation is a very difficult career indeed. In college we were told about the "pilot shortage" and were promised opportunity that did not materialize for us. Had I known what a folly it was I would have become an accountant instead. I never wanted to be poor for any reason. These days they are giving away jobs like candy. As a result, I want a do-over and have been diligently trying to get an airline job to no effect. I have an impressive resume though it seems they have moved on to successive generations. I attend job fairs and see the same sad silver-haired pilots who go home unwanted. It is a crushing defeat.

All my training, education, and experience was as a pilot. After getting laid off from my last airline with a family to support there were no other industries that had a use for me. I could not get an interview at Costco, on the city road crew, or at the grocery store. I had to work for myself and started building decks and mowing lawns. It then turned into building myself rental homes. Eventually I opened a property management company, general contractor business, and am presently in school to be a financial planner. I have staff now who help with the daily operations and I am free to pursure my professional dreams but they dont want us.

I have many pilot friends who are now financially independent entrepreneurs. Failed airline pilots are all over the place working as contractors, entreprenuers, authors, and a host of other self-created professions. Being useless to the outside world seems to be an important element in achineving FIRE. Without options one either suceeds or moves in with their parents. It is not fun for anyone and we all wish we could have achieved our flying dreams instead. (well one guy seems to like his real estate career)

Highlighting another incorrect assumption.

jim555

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Re: I don't want to retire
« Reply #49 on: January 16, 2019, 10:52:50 AM »
You went for one of the hardest to obtain jobs. Legacy carrier airline pilot is right up there with Professional Athlete in selectivity and difficulty. You tried, you didn't make it. Lots and lots of other people tried and didn't make it. There is no shame in this.

Aviation is a very difficult career indeed. In college we were told about the "pilot shortage" and were promised opportunity that did not materialize for us. Had I known what a folly it was I would have become an accountant instead. I never wanted to be poor for any reason. These days they are giving away jobs like candy. As a result, I want a do-over and have been diligently trying to get an airline job to no effect. I have an impressive resume though it seems they have moved on to successive generations. I attend job fairs and see the same sad silver-haired pilots who go home unwanted. It is a crushing defeat.

All my training, education, and experience was as a pilot. After getting laid off from my last airline with a family to support there were no other industries that had a use for me. I could not get an interview at Costco, on the city road crew, or at the grocery store. I had to work for myself and started building decks and mowing lawns. It then turned into building myself rental homes. Eventually I opened a property management company, general contractor business, and am presently in school to be a financial planner. I have staff now who help with the daily operations and I am free to pursure my professional dreams but they dont want us.

I have many pilot friends who are now financially independent entrepreneurs. Failed airline pilots are all over the place working as contractors, entreprenuers, authors, and a host of other self-created professions. Being useless to the outside world seems to be an important element in achineving FIRE. Without options one either suceeds or moves in with their parents. It is not fun for anyone and we all wish we could have achieved our flying dreams instead. (well one guy seems to like his real estate career)

Highlighting another incorrect assumption.
Strange value system.  If your not a "success" then you have no "value".