This is truly a depressing thread and it boggles my mind how OP could be blaming FIRE for anything. FIRE isn't what caused him to fail to achieve professional success, but there is some story he is telling himself that it somehow was. FIRE doesn't prevent someone from pursuing meaning and accomplishment, but he keeps repeating that he just can't possibly ski or hike or play another day because he is so tired of it, telling himself a story that those are the only things one can do when FIREd. He tells himself that he would be happy only if he had achieved his professional dream, which is not to be a pilot or to fly a certain plane or anything like that, but to get a very specific type of accolade, apparently, that only a very small percentage of certain types of pilots get. He's telling himself a story of why he isn't happy now that actually prevents him from ever having a chance to be happy in the future.
Here's something from a voice of experience that is not about all the other things you could do to be happy. I will say all of those suggestions in this thread are great and valid suggestions and you should look into them, but what is needed first is for you to change the stories you are always telling yourself. I know how true those stories feel to you. I did say I'm a voice of experience! I know how it feels to think about how fake "changing the story" sounds. The story, you say, is just the truth! I'm not gonna buy into some lie to make myself feel better. I'm not into creating some rosy narrative about what really happened just because I'm unwilling to face the ugly truth about my ugly, ugly life! I may be unhappy, but I'm at least not going to lie to myself about why!
I remember feeling that way. And I remember finally finding a therapist that helped me learn through some very hard work that the stories we tell ourselves aren't "true" and I was clinging to just one version of one narrative that was particularly unhelpful and unhealthy for me. I learned (and am still learning) how to not get attached to "stories". Some are great, some are bad, but they are all just stories, just one interpretation of a set of events that have a lot of other interpretations. You will never be happy, no matter what you do, until you can resolve the story you tell yourself about your past.
As I was approaching FIRE, I went back to that therapist. I was so happy and excited, but I also foresaw some pitfalls. That I could get caught up in missing the prestige of my career, the titles, the accolades. That I would find it hard to have a good answer for the question of "what do you do?" I asked her to be my life coach for 6 sessions where we could work on those pitfalls I foresaw and how I could adjust my brain to not be derailed from the honestly good stuff I am doing because I am not getting the prestige. She helped me focus on my real values and how to stay aligned with those values and not get sidetracked by what society tells us we *should* want (like prestige! And c'mon, is that really your highest value??). And those 6 sessions were money well-fucking-spent. I still stop sometimes and examine the different stories I do tell and could tell about my life. Sometimes it depends on my mood which one I tell in a given moment. But the best part is, I have this superpower now where I learned I'm responsible for the story I tell about the facts of my life.
Several people here have shown you alternate stories to tell about the facts you have shared. You aren't buying it, which I get. I remember feeling that way. But seriously, dude, you will never be happy until you learn a different story of your life. And which do you want more? To stick to that story, telling it to yourself day in and day out as a form of punishment for your not being clairvoyant 30 years ago or being born in the wrong year? Or do you want to try to be happy? Because you can't do both.
