Author Topic: Hanging Out With Old Timers  (Read 4499 times)

Fishindude

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Hanging Out With Old Timers
« on: June 20, 2017, 07:45:46 AM »
Not complaining, but recently retired at 57, and nearly all of our friends close to our age are still working.  Most worried about paying for kids college or wedding and don't have much free time or free funds to do anything.   We find ourselves socializing and hanging out with folks 5-15 years older quite a bit.   No complaints, they're good people, that's just the way it is.   We're in a different phase of life than many of our friends the same age.

Moonwaves

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2017, 08:54:34 AM »
I'm not retired at all but most of the new friends I've made in the last eight or nine years, many of whom have become very close friends, are in their sixties and seventies (I'm 42). I think it is a life phase thing really, most of my friends in my age group are very busy with spouses and kids, and since I don't have either of those things, I've found other folks to hang out with. For me it's also partly that I was always one of those kids that people would say things like "six going on sixty" about - and now I'm finally catching up. :)

BTDretire

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2017, 11:55:27 AM »
 I'm 61, having coffee two mornings a week with 72 to 80yr olds.
One's a Windows geek, one earned his living working on computers and one inherited oil wells.
When I need computer help I go to them. I copied my last computer build after one of them, still working great after 6 yrs.

 Edit for an update; it turns out one of the fellows I have breakfast with just turned 92.
 This past get together, he said he had a tire low on air, he took it in and got a new one.
 Ya, he got a new one alright, a new SUV with a bunch of fancy gadgets, bluetooth, backup camera, etc.
 He was pulling our leg with the tire thing, it was his birthday, so he bought himself a new SUV.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2017, 07:23:35 AM by BTDretire »

lizzzi

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2017, 12:09:31 PM »
I think socialization is more about shared interests than about age. Our choir has people from high-school age all the way up to people in their eighties. They just all like to sing, which then leads to getting together for holiday parties or whatever.

dcheesi

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2017, 01:00:59 PM »
Heck, I still work, and the best friend I've made so far in my new location just turned 70. He and I frequent the same local hangout for the same basic reasons (including walkability), and our interests are similar enough that it generally works.

He's actually pretty "cool" for an older fellow, which helps a lot. Now *his* friends are mostly old fuddy-duddies, but that's a different issue...

Mr. Green

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2017, 01:02:01 PM »
"Hanging out" is probably what I look forward to the most post-FIRE. I love being around people that I have a good time with. There's not much else I'd rather do. If we also happen to be doing some physical work, like putting down a floor or something then it's even better (I just move physically moving). Every once and a while my grandfather will tell us a story from his childhood, or what it was like "back in the day" and I just eat it up.
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BFGirl

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #6 on: June 20, 2017, 01:08:51 PM »
My social circle in my neighborhood includes ages late 20s to mid-60s.  Everyone is in a different stage of life, some are working, some are retired and some are about to start families.  We all enjoy each other's company which is what matters the most.

Warlord1986

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #7 on: June 20, 2017, 01:25:59 PM »
When I was an un-and under-employed twenty-something, I needed something to fill up the time. I ended up joining a creative writing group that met at the local community college. They were all 65 and up. They were good people, several of them were frugal, some were from or had lived overseas, all were interesting, and they reached out to their contacts to help me find a job. When I applied for grad school they workshopped my application essay at one meeting.

Hanging out with the olds is time well spent.

Woodshark

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2017, 06:02:17 AM »
We are in the same situation. Both of us retired in our mid to early 50's with no children. We moved to a lake in another state that is popular with retirees. Most of our new friends are older, most in their 60's but some in their 70's.  It's an adjustment.

lizzzi

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2017, 07:00:20 AM »
Heck, I still work, and the best friend I've made so far in my new location just turned 70. He and I frequent the same local hangout for the same basic reasons (including walkability), and our interests are similar enough that it generally works.

He's actually pretty "cool" for an older fellow, which helps a lot. Now *his* friends are mostly old fuddy-duddies, but that's a different issue...

This sounds like age-ism to me, and kind of hurts my feelings. At 67, I'm not an age, I'm a person. "Pretty cool...for an older fellow." Oh, come on. And "...mostly old fuddy-duddies." That is so mean. Why talk about people in those terms? I know people who are "old" when they're 40, and people who are "young" when they're 106. If I found that a friend was nice to my face but making age remarks behind my back, I would drop them.

FIREby35

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2017, 07:58:37 AM »
At 32, I've noticed a huge amount of my friends are older. Just made a great friend in last year or two who is 67 and his spouse is 71. I think it has to do with the money issues allowing free time, not being caught up in the material stuff that a larger percentage of people "get" when they are older and he is a truly amazing gardener and I am trying to learn as much as possible from him.

But yeah, it seems I'm always hanging with older people.

Fire2025

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #11 on: July 02, 2017, 08:28:14 AM »
My friends have always been way older than me.  Not sure why, I relate to people my own age, but all my good friends are not my age.  Best friend for the last 25 years is 23 years older than me.  I honestly never gave it a second thought, who cares.

soccerluvof4

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #12 on: July 03, 2017, 06:11:45 AM »
Having retired at 50 I have built friends on both ends of the scale. I have a lot of older retirees around me who I really enjoy because they are great to learn things from. Still having kids at home we meet a lot and have developed younger friends just getting started who seemingly look to us for ideas etc.. In our age everyone seems to be living the rat race /caught on the hamster wheel so its more when they have time. At the end of the day friendships shouldn't be defined by age but more how you enjoy the time you spend with the people. I have learned a lot of clever things/techy thing, how to stay in the current times etc..from younger people and a lot of simpler things from people older than me. Creates somewhat of a balance really for me I have found.
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GreenSheep

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #13 on: July 21, 2017, 08:29:12 PM »
I recently heard on a podcast that it's good to have friends of all ages. If you view life as something you want to be good at, like a sport, it's best to know people who are more experienced at it than you and can help you learn, people who are at your level so you can learn along with them, and people who have less experience than you so you can learn by teaching them (and pay it forward).

Larsg

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #14 on: October 11, 2017, 12:57:51 AM »
When the market crashed in 2008, we moved into an area that was almost entirely inhabited by retirees in their 60's-80's. It was a life changing experience for the better. We were in our 40's then and had the maturity to appreciate those older than us than in our youth. Their wisdom, life experiences, the learning from their money and life mistakes and successes. It opened us up to an entirely new world. We befriend them lovingly and carefully, listening and watching for what it's like to be in the final stages of life. We have gained an incredible understanding of the challenges of aging that we otherwise never would have. For example, Mobility and Cognition issues can come on very suddenly - seems to hit around late 60's to early 70's where we observe it becomes challenging just to move and get around - even those who where well fit, go the gym every day, eat well, etc. We now have many Widows on our block, all the fellas are moving on before their wives. It's amazing how many it took by surprise where there was no estate planning, savings, etc and the wives thought that social security would be enough to take care of them for life. Imagine their shock and then being too old to go back to work or really struggling with it. It has been an enriching experience. I would challenge all of those younger to get involved in communities that span the ages...it's a wonderful thing to watch the cycles of life from beginning to end in an entire community - being a part of it, helping it, learning from it, and giving back to it.

Caoineag

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #15 on: October 11, 2017, 07:19:41 AM »
Because we don't have children, a lot of our hobbies tend to involve people much older than us. It was amazing to us the first time we weren't the youngest people in the room. A lot of times older people are more likely to be fun for those of us who want to have interesting conversations because they have lived through a lot more things, places, time periods, events, etc. I always worry they are going to feel like they are in an inquisition when I first meet them because I am fascinated at the variation in human lives.

I would imagine after retirement will be similar to now in that regard. If anything, we might meet more people our age with full time traveling (we even seem to work in fields where most people are older than us). Eventually more people will be our age simply because we will get old ourselves.

Linda_Norway

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #16 on: October 11, 2017, 08:16:06 AM »
One of my good friends is 10 years old than me and probably younger than me by heart. We also have another friend in his 60ies who is a retiree.
I don't have much contact with parents of small children, as we just have different focus in life. Exceptions are my brother and BIL and their families.
We have found it difficult through the years to find friends who are not bound to children. But I guess this will become less of a problem as we grow older. Many people we know have grown up children and that gives a different situation.

acroy

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #17 on: October 11, 2017, 08:58:28 AM »
I like the old timers. A lot of wisdom.
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Larsg

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Re: Hanging Out With Old Timers
« Reply #18 on: November 04, 2017, 08:53:29 PM »
I like the old timers. A lot of wisdom.

Totally agree...we have learned so much from many of our new friends we have met in the last few years in their 60's and 70's. Their perspective completely helped change the course of our lives for the better. It's helped our children too as they gain an understanding of people across the generations vs. just the few visits a year from the grandparents. All very good and we feel lucky to have entered into this stage with such a wonderful group of friends The relationships tend to be more lasting as we all have more time to spend together and look our for each other.