Author Topic: FIRE - how have you explained to your kids?  (Read 1510 times)

ScreamingHeadGuy

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FIRE - how have you explained to your kids?
« on: December 03, 2018, 07:11:24 PM »
This isnít an urgent question, but something my wife and I had been mulling over one evening.

When I RE, hopefully in <2.5 years, my daughter will be 7 years old. So far my wife and I have explained about her grandparentsí retirements (they worked and saved enough money so they donít need to work anymore).  But Iím not sure how to explain our situation. 

How have you explained to your kid(s) why you donít need to go to work like other parents?  How to handle the whole ďwhat do your parents do for a job?Ē discussion at school.  I donít want her to think weíre unemployed (laid off and scrounging) and I donít want her to think we are super wealthy, either.

So please tell me your experiences.

Steeze

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Re: FIRE - how have you explained to your kids?
« Reply #1 on: December 03, 2018, 07:17:23 PM »
Tell her you are an investment manager!

sol

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Re: FIRE - how have you explained to your kids?
« Reply #2 on: December 03, 2018, 07:29:14 PM »
I told them I'm retired.  It wasn't a big deal or anything.

Kids don't have the same set of expectations and hang ups that you do.  If you are retiring, you can just tell them that.  Why complicate it?  Kids understand what retirement is.  They don't necessarily understand the connection between working all day and making vs saving money to spend on stuff, they just know that some people stop working eventually and that it's called retirement. 

They know what I used to do, and if someone were to ask them "what do your parents do for a job" then I expect they would give some version of the same answer that I give, which is "well I used to be a ___________ but now I'm retired."  What do you tell people when they ask you what your parents do?

soccerluvof4

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Re: FIRE - how have you explained to your kids?
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2018, 03:39:21 AM »
I remember my DW when we Fire'd and downsized she asked if we were poor. Shows how entitled she felt she was. Best thing we ever did was to disrupt there life a bit. Anyhow, Sol is totally correct. Plus I believe the truth is always best. My kids even the younger ones at the time knew what I did and I am sure overheard some of my frustrations. Being around them more and them seeing how I make financial decisions also I believe has helped the two younger ones a lot as they are way ahead of understanding the value of a buck then my two in college. Plus they didn't really give up anything , they gained more time with us as a family which is more important. So in my case I just said I have worked for 25+ years and am done so this is how things are going to be going forward so be thankful your parents were smart enough to be able to do this now vs later.

Dicey

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Re: FIRE - how have you explained to your kids?
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2018, 07:34:34 AM »
Just choose your words carefully, because kids have excellent powers of hearing and repetition.

Basenji

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Re: FIRE - how have you explained to your kids?
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2018, 11:43:20 AM »
Just choose your words carefully, because kids have excellent powers of hearing and repetition.

LOL, I was thinking the same.

Teacher: What does your daddy do?

Child: Oh, he has fuck you money.

TartanTallulah

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Re: FIRE - how have you explained to your kids?
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2018, 12:53:11 PM »
Just choose your words carefully, because kids have excellent powers of hearing and repetition.

LOL, I was thinking the same.

Teacher: What does your daddy do?

Child: Oh, he has fuck you money.

Fabulous!

At seven, "Mummy and daddy don't need to go to work, we have all we need," may well be sufficient, possibly adding that since you have enough it wouldn't be fair to work for money when somebody else might not have enough and need the job. You can fine tune the information as she becomes older.

If I'd achieved FI when my children were that age, I may well have described myself as "unemployed" ironically. When I was at school, children whose parents were seen as having money were teased for it, and mine were when they were younger because we had a big house and live-in childcare. Now that they're all adults, I'm not obliged to explain anything to them.

enFuego

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Re: FIRE - how have you explained to your kids?
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2018, 06:27:25 PM »
Just choose your words carefully, because kids have excellent powers of hearing and repetition.

LOL, I was thinking the same.

Teacher: What does your daddy do?

Child: Oh, he has fuck you money.

Oh yes that could definitely happen.  HAHA.  A guy I work with told me his young son drew a picture at school and when the teacher asked him to explain it he told her it was a picture of said coworker sitting in a recliner asking the son to get him a beer.  Don't sugar coat it, but choose your words carefully.  Fortunately my kids will all be grown before I'm FIREd and I don't have to worry about this.  Oh, wait a minute...

Freedomin5

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Re: FIRE - how have you explained to your kids?
« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2018, 11:01:10 PM »
My parents reached FIRE when I was an early teen. I remember just thinking that my mom was an accountant and my dad a businessman (their professional titles before reaching FIRE). Just because my parents FIRE'd, it didn't mean that they suddenly lost all of their professional skills. And I told people my parents' professions if they asked -- it didn't necessarily mean that they had to be working at their professions at that particular moment.

UndergroundDaytimeDad

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Re: FIRE - how have you explained to your kids?
« Reply #9 on: December 06, 2018, 07:41:54 PM »
My kid is too young to care about such things, but when the time comes, I will tell him the two lines I tell people depending on how well I know them, or how much conversation I feel like generating. 
"I am a retired software developer." or "I am a software developer, I just am not taking any jobs right now."